- 2 minutes ago
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:06so yeah me and Glenn do this just about every morning usually I'm up in their loading boxes
00:12faster than you can imagine but I'm feeling something troublesome in my L4 L5 vertebrae
00:18so Glenn's handling it for me today I appreciate you brother silent generation they do not make
00:26them like that anymore it's what it's a pole every morning I have a very strong coffee and then I
00:47cycle to work and on my way I have to stop at the McGundry Park bathrooms I'm a creature of
00:53habit
00:54this morning those bathrooms were mysteriously padlocked so I became a creature of panic
01:03sorry guys small bladder didn't sound like urine take it easy Glenn what did he say it
01:10didn't sound like you're says it doesn't sound like urine hey Glenn back to work but we got
01:18to get these out by 10. all right that's pretty good anyone else Esmeralda would you like to go next
01:26oh my god thank you oh oh no I'm sorry I feel a bit nervous a room full with real
01:35journalists oh no I'm
01:38not nervous in front of nerds this is an urgent necessary story for anyone who likes being hot
01:45that's me bravo Barry exactly the Korean beauty company ojang has found that their phenol revitalizing
01:55mask is the most effective face product in face history wow wow yeah yeah yeah so I love the story
02:07I
02:08love this story if there was just some way to broaden the scope beyond the existence of a product and
02:15where
02:15to buy it oh yes of course I can cover the price as well ah okay I'll pitch my story
02:23yes and maybe
02:24there'll be something in that that informs what you want to do with your story how anything could
02:30happen okay so I noticed this morning that the public restrooms in McGundry Park were suddenly closed
02:41and I later found out that they are replacing them with an e-bike kiosk I mean really yes no
02:54that's it
02:54I mean I don't know where it leads but Nicole yeah you see the difference um Esmeralda's article seems
03:00like clickbait yes and yours seems like something my mom would text and it wouldn't be clear why yeah
03:06so Esmeralda's article was clickbait guys churnalism right raise your hand if you've ever actually
03:13learned anything from an article like this not one of oh all of you okay I just I'm gonna be
03:19honest
03:19I don't know that there is a place for this I wouldn't be so sure truth teller moving forward how
03:25long
03:25have you been standing there long enough now I don't know if I've ever told you guys about my old
03:33childhood friend Douglas Keane no so Douglas grew up in a 10 bedroom estate in um Cardiff sounds sick
03:41as hell it does indeed thank you Travis but do you know how Douglas's parents paid for this 10
03:47bedroom estate in Cardiff no anyone no Oscar textiles pardon me textiles prostitution
03:55good I'll give you it prostitution well we are Douglas Keane this beautiful office is the 10 bedroom
04:04estate and these yes slightly dodgy clickbait articles are prostituting themselves for us
04:13without them the TTT would die in darkness fine fine fine thank you very much thank you very much
04:22stay go off I pop all right we'll do it but we're not doing advertorials we will review these products
04:30with rigor and integrity like wire cutter yes like wire cutter wire cutter is amazing we'll test the
04:37products ourselves and we'll tell the truth about them good or bad okay you want to take my work from
04:42me I'll take your work from you and I'm going to write about that boring bathroom would you like that
04:47I'd love that Ned accuses me of sensationalizing stories now since when sensation is a bad thing ask a box
05:00of
05:00condoms maybe you'll see what it takes to be a real journalist and maybe you will see what it takes
05:05to write
05:06something that people in this town actually care about
05:17you
05:41Okay, so apparently some generous corporation sent these to Esmeralda out of the goodness
05:48of their heart.
05:49For free?
05:50Hell yeah.
05:51No.
05:51Not hell yeah.
05:52Hell maybe.
05:54Remember, we're supposed to be neutral.
05:55Do not be afraid to ruffle some feathers over at Flat Belly Enterprises.
06:01Okay, who wants what?
06:02I'll do this, uh, Ulzang thing for my sensitive skin.
06:05Who wants kombucha for gut health?
06:08Uh-huh.
06:08Hmm.
06:09Is this supposed to be refrigerated?
06:11Juice is better at room 10.
06:13Brings the flavors out.
06:14Can I do this jawline enhancer?
06:16How does it work?
06:17I don't know, but me and my swole jawline will report back to you.
06:20Dude, what are those?
06:21Oh, it's melatonin.
06:22It helps you sleep.
06:23Can I please have it?
06:24Please.
06:25I'll pay you anything you want.
06:26I'm getting no sleep.
06:27It's killing me.
06:28The doctors can explain it?
06:30Sure.
06:31Thanks, man.
06:31I appreciate that.
06:32Okay.
06:34So, does everyone have something?
06:36Yep.
06:36Awesome.
06:37I think we're gonna have a great time doing this, guys.
06:41Guaranteed six-pack abs.
06:43No crunches required.
06:45Obviously, I know these things don't work.
06:47Um, but they may work for me.
06:53Hey.
06:54Hey.
06:55Uh, Ned just asked me to ask you if you needed an assistant for the rest of my article.
07:00Did he send you to babysit me?
07:03Um...
07:05Mm-mm.
07:06Nope.
07:07Just plain assistants.
07:08Oh, you mean like a servant?
07:13Mm-hmm.
07:14Yeah.
07:15Just like a servant.
07:16I think I could accept that.
07:18Good.
07:18I mean, the story's gonna be simple.
07:20You know, it's gonna be like this big.
07:21No.
07:21That's your problem.
07:23If you think small, your life is small.
07:26Like an ant.
07:29What you got there, sir?
07:30Oh.
07:31They're, uh...
07:32They're mushrooms that make your brain go fast.
07:34Mm, yuck.
07:35You know mushrooms are fungus?
07:36Like mold or athlete's foot.
07:38Oh!
07:38Excuse me, sir!
07:41Why don't you try these?
07:43What...
07:43What are they?
07:44Pills for men.
07:45Soldiers take them.
07:48Oh, there we go.
07:50Love that.
07:50What the hell did you just give him?
07:52These are from a family-run business called Rudy's.
07:55They are what you might call, um, male boosters.
07:59Perfectly safe male boosters.
08:00Rudy's is in the gas station.
08:01I think they do sell gas.
08:03Yes, Oscar.
08:09Extra potency.
08:10Oh, God.
08:11Let me get her pregnant again.
08:15I just can't have any more kids.
08:17Four is just about manageable,
08:19because you get one per hand per adult,
08:21but five, I don't even...
08:23I've been thinking, like, how do you even...
08:25How do you even do that?
08:26Do you use a foot?
08:27And then people think you're kicking them?
08:28The packaging makes some quite serious claims
08:31about what these pills are capable of,
08:33and if they're true, then that could be rather good for me,
08:36moving forward.
08:37You would be mad to just rip open a packet
08:40and, um, take them yourself, clearly.
08:42But the king's taster is there for a reason,
08:46and, um, we shall see what is happening inside that man
08:50as time goes on.
08:53It'll be fine.
08:54You would hope.
09:05It hurts a little bit.
09:06Yeah?
09:07Is it not too high, you think?
09:09Maybe.
09:10I can take it.
09:11Oh, God.
09:13Dude, this is level three.
09:14I know.
09:15Out of ten, that is pathetic, Oscar.
09:16Gimme. Let me try.
09:23Level three.
09:23Okay.
09:24Okay.
09:25Yeah, see, this is nothing.
09:27This is, like, half a period cramp.
09:29You're being dramatic.
09:30What?
09:31I'm sorry.
09:31I heard what I said.
09:33You're being hyperbolic.
09:34Oh.
09:34There's no way a period cramp can hurt more than that.
09:37Turn it up.
09:38I'll tell you when it feels like a cramp.
09:40It's on three.
09:40Yeah.
09:41Turn it up.
09:45No.
09:48No.
09:49No.
09:59Yeah.
10:00That's about right.
10:01You're at a nine out of ten.
10:02Yeah.
10:03Now add on devastating mood swings, bloating, and an inner voice that tells you you'll never
10:07amount to anything.
10:14It's tingling.
10:15Mm-hmm.
10:23It's a little stronger.
10:24Mm.
10:25Is it too much for you?
10:26No.
10:26No?
10:27I feel the difference.
10:28Yeah.
10:29You keep feeling that.
10:29It's a little more powerful than before.
10:32Yeah.
10:32Just a little bit, right?
10:41Nicole's not doing great.
10:43It was the kombucha they got her.
10:44I feel like that stuff, it does need to be refrigerated.
10:48That's why when you buy it from the store, it's always in the refrigerator.
10:55It's Frank Durham.
10:56Um, Mr. Durham.
10:59Hello.
11:00This is Esmeralda Grand from the Toledo Truth Teller.
11:05Okay.
11:05We are writing, um, a nothing story about a bathroom that was closed in Mac, uh, um,
11:16Mac...
11:16Mac...
11:17Mac something Park.
11:19You were listed as the administrative project manager, Frank.
11:24Can you make this quick?
11:27Excuse me?
11:28Yeah, I got a lot to do today.
11:30Well, me too, Frank.
11:31We all do things on this planet, right?
11:33All right.
11:34Listen, it was just a routine reallocation of space.
11:36We had a public meeting, there was no dissent, so we did it.
11:40That's great.
11:40Thank you so much.
11:41Thank you so much.
11:42All right.
11:44Now we just need to get a quote from a park user, not Ned, and we have our piece.
11:49Bada bing, bada boom.
11:50No bada bing, Frank Durham is the story.
11:55What?
11:56Make it quick.
11:57Such a piece of a big shit.
11:59That's...
11:59You know, he's hiding something.
12:01No, that's just how people talk to journalists.
12:03Well, this is not how people talk to me, okay?
12:05Come on.
12:06Well, get your stuff.
12:07Okay.
12:08I live to serve.
12:12Hey, we're gonna take off and go.
12:14Oh, my gosh.
12:15You look like an avatar.
12:17They're called Navi, actually.
12:19We're not...
12:20There.
12:21I think we should...
12:21Oh, my God!
12:22Oh, don't kill me.
12:24Blue beast!
12:25I was just joking.
12:26That was just a joke.
12:27No, no.
12:28You look handsome as usual, as every day.
12:31Should we go or not?
12:32Yeah.
12:33See you.
12:35Bye.
12:47Oh, no.
12:49Uh...
12:49Shoot.
12:52Hey!
12:53I, uh...
12:54I think we're all here.
12:55Ned, Dan is running our Cincinnati papers, doing an amazing job, and I asked his boss if
13:01you could pick his brain.
13:02Hi, Ned.
13:02Hey, Dan.
13:03Thank you for doing this.
13:04Big fan of your work.
13:05I loved your piece on the Maumee River algae blooms.
13:08Oh, thank you, buddy.
13:10And, uh, Marv told me you sold a ton of toilet paper at Softies.
13:13Real renaissance man.
13:14Yeah, pretty wide skill set, that's for sure.
13:16Turn on your camera, Ned.
13:17We can't see you.
13:19Sure.
13:21Hey!
13:23What the hell happened to your face?
13:24Oh, oh, this.
13:25No, it's just for a story that we're, uh, we're working on, so...
13:29Oh, good.
13:29No offense, for a moment I thought you were taking affiliated marketing kickbacks from
13:33Amazon.
13:34Like Wirecutter.
13:35Oh.
13:35Not that you would ever do anything that lame.
13:37No, God, no.
13:38No, Wirecutter sucks.
13:40Wirecutter sucks.
13:41You know, we're working on a story right now about colorism in the Korean beauty market,
13:45and ethical concerns over skin bleaching.
13:48Am I being scooped right now?
13:49No.
13:49No, no, no.
13:50That sounds like a great angle.
13:52We're focusing less on the ethical and more on the exfoliating properties of the product,
14:00and how that impacts the...
14:02You know, speaking of, it's actually starting to burn a little bit.
14:07Ann, remember Smurfs?
14:09Oh.
14:10Oh.
14:12Oh.
14:14Oh.
14:14Uh, please.
14:15Hey, uh, can I get in there, please?
14:17Oh, what do you want?
14:18I just, I need a sink.
14:19Do you see Lomity?
14:19I don't, I, I, I don't care.
14:21Uh, hey, hey, Nicole, I need to get in.
14:22My face is very hot.
14:24Yeah, I'm sorry.
14:24I, no.
14:25Come on.
14:26Go away.
14:27Nicole!
14:28I'm sorry.
14:29Please.
14:30Please.
14:31Please.
14:33Hey, there.
14:34Uh, we have some questions about the recent bathroom closure at McGundrie.
14:38Was there a hearing about that?
14:40Looks like there was, on the 13th.
14:44Who are you?
14:45We're reporters.
14:46Is Frank Durham here?
14:47No.
14:48And I don't see any appointments.
14:50What can you tell us about Frank?
14:53Like, does he drive a car that is strangely expensive for his salary?
14:59Durham?
15:00Yes.
15:00A 20-year-old Kia.
15:02Which kind of Kia?
15:03A black one.
15:04Who are you exactly?
15:06Would you excuse us for a second?
15:11She's onto us.
15:14Wait, what?
15:15She's onto what?
15:15She's onto us.
15:16You distract her.
15:18You distract her.
15:20Oh, my.
15:20Distract.
15:21Ah!
15:22Oh, my God.
15:23Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay.
15:24What are you doing?
15:25My migraine.
15:26The migraine, you know?
15:27Oh.
15:28It's so bad.
15:28I'm so sorry.
15:29I lay down for a second, and then it goes away, I swear.
15:33Like, so sorry about that.
15:34Where are you going?
15:34Oh, my God.
15:35Where are you going?
15:37Oh, mama mia.
15:42Oh, my God.
15:48I'm so sorry.
15:49Could I, could you just come over here?
15:51What?
15:51For a second?
15:51I'm sorry.
15:53I just have a quick question.
15:54What kind of electrical socket is that?
15:58Yeah, that one.
15:59I just feel like I haven't seen one of those since I was a kid.
16:01Does it use a ground pin?
16:03Does it use a ground pin?
16:03I wouldn't know.
16:04I know.
16:05It's just such a great space.
16:07I don't know if you've ever thought about, like, putting an appliance there or something.
16:12Oh, my gosh.
16:12Who is that?
16:14Hanka.
16:14Eye Candy.
16:15Is he single?
16:16He passed away.
16:17Oh, I'm so sorry.
16:18What?
16:20No, I just, it's hard to meet people in this.
16:23What did he die of?
16:25I'm sorry.
16:26Eye, eye, eye, eye, eye, eye.
16:28Eye, eye, eye, eye, eye, eye, eye.
16:29Oh, my God.
16:30It's a big one.
16:31Yeah.
16:32I'm so sorry about that.
16:33You know, it happens sometimes.
16:34Yeah, we'll see.
16:35Thank you so much.
16:36Eye, eye, eye.
16:37Oh, my God.
16:38Eye, eye, eye, eye, eye.
16:40I don't really have a migraine.
16:42This is just me being great at journalism.
16:44Come on.
16:45Take off your mic.
16:46What?
16:46Yes.
16:47I'm sorry.
16:47Can you just give us a second, please?
16:49What are you doing?
16:50Take it off.
16:51Why?
16:55I'm sorry.
16:58What?
16:58It just feels hopeless.
16:59I know, but you just gotta go for it.
17:01Amy messed me up, man.
17:03That was a year ago now.
17:04Was it?
17:05You're a great guy.
17:05You've got a lot to offer.
17:07You guys making a movie or something?
17:10A student film?
17:14Drama.
17:15Yeah.
17:19Hello, matey.
17:20Hey.
17:20Just wanted to check in on you as a courtesy.
17:23How do you feel?
17:24Okay.
17:25So for like an hour, I was freezing cold.
17:27Right.
17:28Well, that would be the taurine.
17:29Perfectly normal.
17:30And for a while, it was boiling hot.
17:32Right.
17:32Well, that's the extract of ghost pepper, I believe.
17:36It's all clearly labeled.
17:37Ken, what if it like supercharges my semen?
17:39Pardon me?
17:41Supercharges my semen.
17:43I can't afford another kid.
17:45Have you never heard of contraception?
17:47Get some sheep intestines, tie a knot in it.
17:49You're good to go.
17:50Her father doesn't believe in birth control.
17:51He'd kill me.
17:53You are in quite a pickle, my son.
17:56You want my advice?
17:57Yeah.
17:57Listen to your heart.
17:59Thanks, Bill.
17:59For arrhythmia.
18:01Brought on with the taurine.
18:08I took some pictures of his office.
18:10There is this calendar that he has
18:12with a, uh, stickly little dog on it.
18:15Look.
18:16Okay, so that's Snoopy.
18:17Yeah, I know.
18:18I just don't like him.
18:20Wait, but look.
18:21Yeah.
18:21On the 13th, it doesn't say anything about a public hearing.
18:24It just says trivia night.
18:25Yeah, those kind of men, they love to yell out facts.
18:30Oh, my God.
18:31That means he was lying.
18:32Yes.
18:33He was lying.
18:34He was lying!
18:35Ow!
18:36Holy shit.
18:37Hang on.
18:39Yes.
18:40Oh, hello.
18:41Hey, how's it going?
18:42Why are you using that filter?
18:43No reason.
18:44Just give me the bathroom update.
18:45Okay, so he was lying about holding a hearing on the 13th,
18:49but the only proof we have is a picture of a calendar
18:51that Esmeralda took without permission, so.
18:53Okay.
18:53No, but we can't use that.
18:55Oh, my God!
18:56What happened to your face?
18:58It's not so bad.
18:59I mean, the pain I am in is extreme,
19:01but it's gonna be a great piece, so.
19:03That's the black here.
19:04That's him.
19:05That's Frank.
19:05Oh, my God.
19:06Let's follow him.
19:07Hey, I told you.
19:08Okay, I have to go.
19:09Okay, bye.
19:11All right, it's five o'clock.
19:12Let's see where we are.
19:13How we doing?
19:14Jesus, what's going on with your face?
19:16I just, I had a bit of a reaction to the chemical peel.
19:19Oh, man.
19:20Oh, my God.
19:21Oh, man.
19:22Focus on your stories, not my face.
19:24Go home, finish your trials,
19:26and come up with some detailed reports.
19:28Come on.
19:28I can't do that.
19:29I can't.
19:30No.
19:30Come on.
19:31It hurts too much.
19:33A half-day period?
19:34Must be tall.
19:36Okay.
19:36You win.
19:37Women suffer.
19:38I'm sorry I said you were dramatic.
19:40Women have to sit in my mouth anymore.
19:43Don't say that.
19:44Yeah.
19:44My jaw's the same size,
19:45and I can smell my goatee burning.
19:47Can we just stop?
19:48No, no.
19:49Guys, Esmeralda's story is really taking off.
19:52We don't want to fall behind, okay?
19:54Ned, none of this is safe.
19:55This is perfectly safe.
19:56It's journalism.
19:57All right.
19:58You know what?
19:59Watch this.
20:00Perfectly safe.
20:02Why?
20:03Why are you...
20:03No problem.
20:04No, it's not bedtime, dude.
20:05It's fine.
20:06No.
20:07While you're at it, take this one, too.
20:11Oh, God.
20:12Man, no one is asking you to do this.
20:14You're gonna...
20:14This shit's gonna kill you.
20:16There's one more in here.
20:17Mm-hmm.
20:18It's too many.
20:18Should you be combining?
20:19I forgot the tens machine.
20:22The what?
20:22The tens machine.
20:23Put it on.
20:24Not a problem.
20:25You're gonna fuck yourself up.
20:27Let me tell you something.
20:28Sometimes you need to go to extremes for a story.
20:36All right, make me proud.
20:38I look forward to your reports.
20:40I'll see you guys tomorrow.
20:41All right.
20:47No.
20:48No.
20:50No.
20:56Look, look, look.
20:57That's him.
20:58That's Frank.
20:59What the hell are we doing here?
21:01Well, you are going to go undercover and...
21:04No.
21:05Yes.
21:05And you're going to squeeze him.
21:07Oh, my God.
21:07For information.
21:08You're milking.
21:09Yes.
21:09Why can't you go?
21:10Because I spoke to him at the phone and he recognizes my voice.
21:14You know?
21:15I could actually try an American accent.
21:18Merry Christmas, Frank.
21:21Nice cheeseburger, buddy.
21:22I'll do it.
21:23Okay.
21:24But we have some work to do.
21:25What do you mean?
21:26Yeah, I mean that...
21:27No, Ezra, I'm not wearing your clothes.
21:29I look fine.
21:30You don't look fine.
21:31Do you think you look female like that?
21:33That's...
21:33Come on.
21:34Where's my bag?
21:35I just...
21:36I hate this.
21:37Why this car just keeps talking?
21:39You're in the wipers.
21:40I don't know how this...
21:41This is too much.
21:42No.
21:43This is the best you've ever looked.
21:44And you're doing this for journalism, right?
21:47Your favorite.
21:48Hey, your frown is increasing the foundation.
21:51Okay.
21:54I just go up to the bar and, like, talk to him?
21:57Yes.
21:58You go and say, hello.
21:59Like, in this fantasy, you are a normal girl.
22:02Okay, go.
22:03So rude.
22:10Howdy, partner.
22:12Oh, good.
22:13Is the seat taken?
22:13Hello.
22:14Hi.
22:14Table for one tonight, ma'am?
22:17Excuse me?
22:18Table for one?
22:20No.
22:21No.
22:21Never.
22:22What you have here is not food.
22:24It's bullshit.
22:25It's not even Italian, you know?
22:27It's a lie.
22:28This shouldn't be here.
22:30No?
22:30Okay.
22:31Hi.
22:32Oh, my God.
22:33What's going on?
22:34Why did you text me Macaroni Bar 911?
22:37Oh, well, because I wanted you to witness in person my triumph.
22:41We are about to take down Frank Duran, the man responsible for the bathroom closing.
22:48Why does she look like that?
22:50She's undercover as a beautiful woman.
22:52She's undercover as a beautiful woman.
22:53Hi.
22:53What are you doing here?
22:54You look...
22:56You look so nice.
22:58I think part of your face just fell off.
23:28Oh, thanks.
23:29It's a thrill.
23:31Will you be joining us for dinner tonight?
23:34I'm good.
23:42I hate kombucha.
23:43I hate what it's done to me.
23:49Oh, boy.
23:53How many loaves of bread is that?
23:55I think seven.
23:56I have sourdough.
23:57I have white, pretty much every kind of bread.
23:59I hate it.
24:01You want to come in?
24:03Yeah.
24:03Look, I know that intimacy is at the core of our relationship, but I think...
24:11You cannot watch something.
24:14It's a school night.
24:15I'm going to have a heart attack if you don't give me an orgasm in the next 10 minutes.
24:19Right.
24:21Let's see what these little gummies could do for my ass.
24:24Mmm.
24:27Mmm.
24:29They taste sweet.
24:37Ah!
24:38Oh!
24:38Ah!
24:40Ah!
24:41Ah!
24:42Ah!
24:48Oh.
24:56You got his ass, you got his ass, you got his ass, yeah, he was bragging about winning
25:01trivia night and I said, prove it big boy, oh no, and he did, he showed me a picture with
25:08the date on it, oh, I took a pic of a pic, oh wow, all right, yes, yes, oh, I
25:14think I'm
25:15going to go, and all of this we found out because of me, okay, we have to go, he's freaking
25:22me out, all of this we found out because of me, oh, shit, hey, hey, you dead, I thought
25:44that guy was dead, but he's alive, you've seen that, right, I mean, he looked like he
25:48might die tonight still, so I'm going to leave, that way if he dies later, that's all y'all
25:54asses.
25:57Oh, here he is, hello, mate, how are you feeling, and more importantly, did you make mad, ravenous,
26:03scorpion love to your wife?
26:06We did it, we did it like three times.
26:08Oh, wow, three times, big man, love that, and yet you're still standing.
26:12Maybe those were just sugar pills, I mean, three times is pretty standard for us.
26:18Did you guys finish your articles?
26:19No, and I never will.
26:21I'm gonna, that jaw thing was a scam.
26:24First sleepover in the books, not that I slept at all.
26:29Nah, I was quite busy, Nicole was puking pretty much the whole night, but I guess I learned
26:34that I like being around Nicole more than I hate being around puke.
26:40It's okay, it didn't get you, it just fell off the side.
26:43It was a great night.
26:48Guys, I think he stayed up trying to finish the article.
26:51Damn, his skin looks radiant.
26:55Good morning, wakey.
26:57Good morning, sleeping beauty.
27:00You look good.
27:01Aw.
27:02Let's get you up, dude.
27:03Yeah.
27:03Let's get you in the shower.
27:05You're right, I'll condense that quote.
27:08These are great notes, thank you.
27:09No, I loved it.
27:10I think it's great that the Frank Durhams of the world know that someone's watching.
27:14Yeah, it was really Esmeralda.
27:16She was kind of amazing.
27:17Really?
27:19I guess it's nice to see her being part of the team.
27:21Yeah.
27:23Okay, thank you.
27:24Oh, also, I'm sorry that she made you dress up like that.
27:29I know that's not really your thing.
27:31I dress up.
27:32No, I know, but like, you know, being...
27:36flirting.
27:38Being flirting?
27:40I don't want to cultivate a workplace culture
27:44where you feel the need to be sexualized to get a story, you know?
27:49Anyone, you, Barry.
27:51Okay, why are you being weird?
27:57Ned, what?
27:59That you're an asexual.
28:03I'm sorry, because of your asexual nature.
28:06But...
28:07Right?
28:07No, I'm not asexual.
28:10I...
28:10You're not?
28:11No, why do you...
28:13Why would you think that?
28:14I...
28:14I...
28:15Well, because Esmeralda...
28:18She...
28:19Okay.
28:20Okay, goddammit.
28:21Esmeralda!
28:21I really would rather...
28:22No, we're gonna figure this out right now.
28:24I'm figuring this out right now.
28:25Esmeralda!
28:25Yes?
28:26Why did you lie to me and say that she was asexual?
28:32Who is asexual?
28:33Well, you don't do this, because you said it right to my face, okay?
28:36Well, Ned, I'm so sorry, but your face is changing all the time, so sometimes it's hard to say, to
28:44remember what I say to it.
28:45You know, yesterday you were blue.
28:47It doesn't really matter why she said it, it's just really weird that you just believe it.
28:52Right.
28:52No, you're...
28:53The twin bed.
28:55Oh, my god.
28:56You're single.
28:57You're single?
28:58I...
28:58I feel like there were more reasons.
29:01Well, okay, so you're just very gullible.
29:02No, no, no, I'm not gullible.
29:04Well, I'm sorry, believing a lie about me without asking me about it first?
29:07I mean, are you a journalist?
29:08Okay, bye-bye.
29:12I just...
29:14Look, asking you about it would have been totally inappropriate.
29:18The most respectful thing that I could do was nothing.
29:24Well, thank you so much for respecting me.
29:26I'm gonna go revise this.
29:29I don't get it.
29:31Why is she mad at me?
29:34You can say all the right things, but some people are just sensitive, I guess.
29:41I don't even think she noticed how revitalized I look.
29:43I'm not just that, that's just not that.
29:45It's terrible.
29:46Terrible.
30:25It's terrible.
30:48It's terrible.
Comments