- 2 days ago
Desperate Housewives Season 3 Episode 5
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Short filmTranscript
00:01Previously on Desperate Housewives...
00:03Does she know you killed your wife?
00:05Secrets were uncovered.
00:06Honey, I'm home.
00:08Carlos came back.
00:09Whatever you want to do, I'm in your corner.
00:11Lynette made a promise.
00:13Mr. Flutie.
00:13I love him and he loves me!
00:15And Bree's daughter fell for her history teacher.
00:18While Mike's history...
00:20He suffered significant memory loss.
00:23...was being carefully rewritten.
00:25Susan Meyer.
00:26You were close, huh?
00:27That tramp treated you like dirt.
00:32The art of sabotage.
00:34It's practiced every day in the suburbs.
00:38Sometimes it takes the form of a bund cake...
00:41offered to a friend...
00:43who's on a diet.
00:45Other times it's a cable...
00:47cut just as a husband's friends arrive...
00:49to watch the big game.
00:52And there's always that anonymous phone call...
00:55to the city zoning department.
00:58Yes, in suburbia...
01:00everyone you meet is a potential saboteur.
01:04Absolutely.
01:06Everyone.
01:07Good afternoon.
01:09I'm Bree Hodge.
01:10And you are?
01:11Name's Gus, and we're all booked up.
01:13Actually, Gus, I'm here to see one of your guests.
01:16A gentleman named Faladi.
01:19Oh, he came in about an hour ago.
01:21You want me to call him for you?
01:22No, no, no, no.
01:23I'd like you to take me to his room and unlock it...
01:25so I can walk in unannounced.
01:28Maybe I can't do that.
01:29Besides, he has a girl in there.
01:31Yes, I know.
01:32She's my daughter.
01:33She's my daughter.
01:34My 17-year-old daughter.
01:37Yeah, that would be room 17.
01:41There's irony for you.
01:44You don't have a gun in there, do you?
01:46Because they just put down new carpet.
01:48Gus, I don't plan anything unpleasant.
01:50I'm simply going to inform Mr. Faladi what repercussions he faces
01:54if he continues this relationship,
01:56and trust him to see reason.
02:03What the hell?
02:05What are you doing here?
02:06Did you sit alone?
02:07Why didn't you do this to me?
02:10Yes, the art of sabotage.
02:13It's practiced every day in the suburbs.
02:20So, how did it go?
02:23Quite well, I think.
02:25But few do it as well as Brie Hodge.
02:29Oh, and Gus, the carpet is beautiful.
02:35Or as politely.
02:53We were able to do that.
02:54We just left our hands.
02:55And what you did.
02:56And we'd love to pick up the boat.
02:56What you do?
02:57And we'd love to pick up the boat.
02:57What a beautiful boat.
03:01How are you doing here?
03:13We'd love to pick up the boat.
03:13We got to pick the boat.
03:14We'd love to pick the boat.
03:15And we'll see you once again.
03:16All we'll be nice.
03:18We'll be the best.
03:19While we will be the best.
03:20Family dinner. There was a time when that phrase meant something on Wisteria
03:25Lane. Of course this was back when meals were lovingly prepared. By wives who love
03:33to cook. For children who remembered their manners. But family dinners like
03:43the times had changed and there was only one house in the neighborhood where
03:50dinner remained a family occasion and attendance was not optional. I don't know
04:00when I've tasted such tender spring lamb. Thank you dear.
04:05Danielle you haven't touched your dinner. She doesn't like spring lamb. She prefers
04:10old goat. I'm glad you guys think it's so funny that my life is over. Your mother
04:16was right to end that relationship. The man was your teacher and married. He's
04:20getting a divorce. Well that hardly bolsters his suitability. Danielle please eat
04:24something. Don't worry dear. Hunger strikes demand self-control and as we've seen
04:28that's hardly her strong suit. When are you gonna take me seriously? When you start
04:33acting like an adult? Well she sleeps with him. That's a start. I hate you! I hate all of you!
04:48Remind me to buy paper plates. We'll need them till a certain someone can be trusted with
04:52China again. Wow you're pretty good at that. Hey you are home early. Hi. Yes I am. What is all
05:11this? We are having a celebration. Sit. What are we celebrating?
05:18You being the greatest wife in the world. Thanks. No seriously though. I mean it. How many wives would tell
05:31their husbands to follow his dreams and then have the patience to wait while he figures out what the hell
05:37it is?
05:39Oh my god you know what you want to do. That's fantastic. What is it? Wait for it. Wait for
05:44it. Okay. I knew I needed to spend my days doing something I was passionate about.
05:48Something creative. Yeah. Yeah. How about that. Um. Something where I interacted with the public but I was still my
05:54own boss and then this morning it just like bam it hit me.
05:58Okay. Okay. I'm dying here. What's the dream? You're eating it. Excuse me? I'm gonna open up a pizza parlor!
06:10I bet you didn't see that one coming.
06:13No. That was a real frisbee to the head that one. But but when you think about it doesn't it
06:18make perfect sense? I mean Marnar is in my blood.
06:21You remember Uncle Vito? He came to this country with nothing. He turned that trattoria into a gold mine.
06:26Isn't he the one that asked us for a loan last Christmas? He has a gambling problem. But don't blame
06:32the pizza. Trust me.
06:34Got this thing all mapped out. It's gonna have like a real family feel with like big portions but small
06:39prices, crayons for the kids. God I feel good about this.
06:48So what do you think? I think I'm gonna open another bottle of wine. But we haven't finished this one.
06:58Huh? Hey, we're celebrating right? Carlos what are you doing?
07:14What are you doing in my room? Oh hey Gabby. You're home early.
07:17God Carlos. Strawberries and champagne. Did you really think you're gonna seduce me?
07:22Never entered my mind. Right. Right. You know I may be living with you until the divorce is final but
07:28doesn't mean I have to put up with your cheesy comeons.
07:31Gabby can I just say one thing? What? You've been doing some thinking and you realize that I'm your soulmate
07:36and there's a vacancy in your heart only I can fill?
07:39Gabby listen. It's over between us. Just move on already. Forget me.
07:52As I was trying to say, I have company over. This is Trichelle.
08:01Trichelle, this is... What was your name again? I seem to have forgotten.
08:15So the doctor said I should use as many things as I can to jog your memory. And not just
08:20pictures. He said I could use tastes and smells and sounds. So tonight is Sounds of the 70s.
08:32Okay. Well, let me set the scene. We were at this funky little fish joint that you'd been dying to
08:40take me to. Cappy's. Do you remember Cappy's?
08:44Okay. Well, we were there and we were just wolfing down the most delicious trout ever.
08:49How long till the music part?
08:52Oh, it's coming. And this 70s cover band. Well, they started to play. And that's how we got our song.
09:03Our song was Car Wash.
09:06Yes! See how much fun we were. So I dragged her out onto the dance floor. And well, you were
09:13giving me this look. Sort of like the look you're giving me right now. And I started to do this.
09:20And then you did this.
09:25I'm sorry. This isn't working.
09:27Oh, Mike. Come on. You're not even trying to remember. It was fun. Oh, I know. Okay. Sing with me.
09:34Car wash, talking about the car wash. Woo! Car wash, yeah.
09:43You know, I'm really beat.
09:46Okay, Mike. I am not doing this to upset you. I'm doing this to help.
09:50I get that. It's just, uh, the music is giving me a headache.
09:57Okay, well, I'll go. But I am not giving up on you.
10:01You know, you are going to remember the night that we danced at Car Wash.
10:05Not just because it was fun, but because later that night we did some things that, trust me, are worth
10:11remembering.
10:21That Jane Doe from the golf course? I think I missed something at the autopsy. Check it out.
10:28You always got to come to lunch, don't you?
10:31Those blue marks on the back of her hand? First I thought they were veins. Now I think it's ink.
10:37You mean like some kind of writing?
10:38Yeah. I need to run some more tests. See if I can get a clearer image. I could be wrong,
10:44but...
10:45But what?
10:46I think it's a phone number.
10:55The oddest thing happened at the club today. Tish Atherton...
11:01Andrew, would you be a dear and make sure your sister's just breaking her own things?
11:11Anyway, Tish Atherton...
11:20Danielle?
11:42Yeah. I'll tell him.
11:45I'm telling you, it was a deliberate snub. I waved to her and she looked right through me. True, I
11:51never bought her eldest daughter a gift.
11:52Andrew, please don't interrupt me while I'm speaking. True, I never bought her eldest daughter a gift, but you know
11:57my policy.
11:59No husband, no baby gift. Now what is it, dear?
12:04Well, um, Danielle's upstairs trying to commit suicide.
12:16There's no rush. She's not trying that hard.
12:25How can you sit there playing that ridiculous game? Your sister tried to kill herself. That doesn't upset you?
12:30She tried to slit her wrist with a spoon. How upset do you want me to be?
12:35Mrs. Hodge.
12:36Is my daughter alright?
12:37She's a little groggy, but she'll be fine. The wounds are fairly superficial.
12:42So is the patient.
12:43We'll release her tonight. But you understand that in cases like this, counseling is mandatory.
12:48Of course, we'll get her all the help she needs.
12:51She is resisting our efforts to pump her stomach. She says she only took three sedatives.
12:55She's disoriented. Pump her.
12:57Andrew!
13:00Pump her.
13:06They're sticking a tube down her throat. Do you still think this is funny?
13:10Mom, this was a half-ass bid for attention.
13:12This was a cry for help. And if we don't listen, the next time she could do something even more
13:16dangerous.
13:17Yeah, next time she might jump off the porch.
13:20Stop it! Suicide is the worst thing that can happen to a family I will not have it made light
13:25of!
13:34Orson's right. We need to support each other as a family.
13:38In fact, I say we all go for counseling.
13:49Tom actually said he's opening up a pizza parlor.
13:52Lynette, you're not serious.
13:54Well, might as well stand in a vat of tomato sauce and tear up $100 bills.
13:58I know, but I said that I would support him and help him follow his dream.
14:02I can't hold you to that. Not the dream is pizza.
14:04She promised to stand by him. And once you make that commitment, you have to see it through.
14:09Yeah. How's that divorce going?
14:12I'm done talking.
14:14Hey, Parker, be careful up there!
14:16I just keep thinking he's gonna come to his senses and realize it's a bad idea.
14:21That's never gonna happen.
14:23Why?
14:23Because men are genetically incapable of realizing that their dreams are stupid.
14:28Can I elaborate, Dr. McCluskey?
14:30My husband sold insurance for 36 years.
14:32And one day, he woke up and decided he wanted to move to Paris and paint naked ladies.
14:36I told him, Gilbert, you can barely paint the garage.
14:39What makes you think you can commit art?
14:42And for the rest of his life, he despised me.
14:45He despised you for saying no?
14:48Well, he also thought I was sleeping with his brother, and I'm sure that was mixed in there, too.
14:58Okay, so I got Kayla all unpacked.
15:00Oh, great. So, uh, Tom will drop her off at your house on Friday.
15:03Sounds good. Lynette, can I talk to you for a second?
15:06Uh-huh. Yeah.
15:14Okay, pardon me for having really big ears, but I heard about Tom and this pizza place.
15:19Do you want to know what I think?
15:21No, not really.
15:22It sucks. It's a sucky idea.
15:25And your friends back there, they're just too nice to come right out and say it.
15:29Luckily, I'm not your friend, so you can trust me.
15:34Nip it in the bud.
15:38And make Tom resent me for the rest of his life. I don't think so.
15:42Well, you better do something.
15:43Because if you don't, you and me will wind up working a pole to pay for braces.
15:59Julie, I want you some flowers.
16:03Generally, when you buy flowers, they don't still have the roots on them.
16:06Okay. Uh, I was hoping you could help me with my English slip paper.
16:09Hi. I'm Sarah.
16:12Hey. So, what do you say?
16:14Actually, I'm sort of busy right now.
16:16Come on. Look, Aunt Edie's gonna give me the boot if I flunk out.
16:20Wouldn't you miss me?
16:22Absolutely. Whose motorcycle would wake us all up at 2 in the morning?
16:26You drive a motorcycle?
16:29Please. Look, I could really use some help here.
16:35Normally, I charge $12 an hour for tutoring, but seeing as it's you, $15.
16:41Great. See you Friday.
16:46Oh, just so you know, I charge $15 an hour to make out, so I'll probably break even.
17:05Hi. You're new. Where's Marcy?
17:08She's in Honolulu on vacation. Can I help you?
17:10Oh, I'm just going to see Mike Delfino.
17:13What's that smell?
17:14Uh, that's my macaroni cheese. I-I was hoping it would trigger Mike's memory.
17:17I made it the first time we met two years ago.
17:19You should have refrigerated it.
17:25Edie?
17:26Oh, you know Ms. Britt?
17:28Uh, yeah. What is she doing here?
17:32Visiting Mr. Delfino.
17:34You know she was with him when he came out of his coma.
17:37What?
17:37And she's been here every day since.
17:41You!
17:45Hello, Susan. Long time no see.
17:48I've been wondering why Mike's been so cold to me. Now it all makes sense.
17:51I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about.
17:54Whew. For God's sake, take a bath.
17:55Oh, that's my mac and cheese. Don't change the subject.
17:58What have you been telling him about me?
17:59Why would I say anything about you? Mike has no idea who you are.
18:04I envy him.
18:06Ladies, is there a problem?
18:07I want this woman banned from the hospital.
18:10She's been like this ever since Mike dumped her.
18:13Imagine fatal attraction with a much older woman.
18:17Ma'am, Mr. Delfino already has a visitor. I think you should go.
18:22Me?
18:23But why doesn't she leave?
18:24I'm the one who's been here every day for the last six months.
18:27Well, I don't know you.
18:28But I do know his girlfriend.
18:33Girlfriend?
18:33Okay, you know what?
18:34I want Marcy's number in Honolulu.
18:36And I want it right now.
18:37You need to leave.
18:39What?
18:39You're disturbing the other patients.
18:40What are you?
18:41Oh, this is ridiculous.
18:42I mean, who am I disturbing?
18:44It's a coma ward.
18:45Don't you want them to wake up?
18:49I did not call you that.
18:51Yes, you did.
18:52I have never in my life used the word retard.
18:54It's what you think.
18:55You think I'm this immature moron who can't be trusted to decide what's best for her.
18:59Well, you did try to off yourself.
19:01I don't think you get to pull the I know what's best for me card.
19:04Andrew, not in front of the therapist.
19:06Actually, I think we're making great progress.
19:08You feel Danielle refuses to see you're acting in her best interest.
19:13And you think your mother cares more about her image than your feelings.
19:18Danielle, how can you think I don't care about your feelings?
19:21Don't you know how much your mother loves you?
19:23When I saw you in that tub, it was the worst moment of my life.
19:27The thought of losing you is more than I can bear.
19:30How does that make you feel?
19:37Actually, kind of powerful.
19:42Powerful?
19:43You really don't want to lose me.
19:46Of course not.
19:47I already went through thinking I'd lost Andrew.
19:49I can't go through that again.
19:51Well then, here's what's going to happen.
19:54I'm going to start dating Robert again.
19:56And if you try to break us up or get him fired, then I'm going to leave and you will
20:01never see me again.
20:03Danielle.
20:03If that can survive on its own, so can I.
20:06You don't believe me?
20:07Call my bluff.
20:09See what happens.
20:16So, what do we owe you for all this progress?
20:25Come on Austin, concentrate.
20:27Okay, why did Iago betray Othello?
20:30Uh, because the play would suck if he didn't.
20:35What do you think you're doing?
20:37Mmm.
20:38Sorry.
20:40No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
20:41We're here to work.
20:42And if my mom came home, she'd flip.
20:44Now, put that away.
20:49You said put it away?
20:52Look, if you think I'm going to sit here and write your paper for you while you're getting drunk.
20:56Look, just help me get it started.
20:58Look, this is hard for me.
20:59All right, I didn't read a lot of Shakespeare and Juvie.
21:01I kind of majored in not getting stabbed.
21:05Ugh, fine.
21:07I'll write your intro, but then you're on your own.
21:09Thank you very much.
21:14So, why'd they send you to Juvie anyway?
21:18They didn't.
21:19My mom did.
21:22Why?
21:24She had this boyfriend.
21:26No job.
21:26Big drunk.
21:28Real catch.
21:30One night he pops her one, so I break a chair over his head and, uh, she calls cops.
21:34On me.
21:37But you were protecting her.
21:39Yeah, that's what I thought.
21:42But the guy said he'd leave if she didn't press charges and, uh, my mom doesn't really like to be
21:48alone.
21:52You know what?
21:54You're tired.
21:55Um, why don't you lay down for a couple minutes and I'll just do a page or two.
22:02You're a rock star, Meyer.
22:03I'll just go in there.
22:05Come on.
22:07Come on.
22:08Come on.
22:08Come on.
22:11Come on.
22:12Come on.
22:13Come on.
22:14Carlos.
22:16No Trichelle tonight?
22:18Uh, no.
22:19About her, I have a confession to make.
22:21Does her pimp want the rest of the money?
22:23You know, there is some cash in my purse.
22:25Look, I know I crossed a line bringing her here, right?
22:28But I was trying to make you jealous.
22:30Like the way you made me feel when you said you slept with John Rowland again.
22:34Well, I think it's more than that.
22:36I think you really hate me.
22:38That's not true.
22:40Oh, I think it is.
22:41You know, introducing your spouse to someone you're about to have sex with.
22:44There's only one reason to do that.
22:48Pure hatred.
22:49You don't know what you're talking about.
22:59Oh, I think I do.
23:06Phil, come meet my basically ex-husband.
23:10Carlos.
23:10Carlos.
23:11This is my new friend, Phil Lopez.
23:13We met, Gabby.
23:15Really?
23:15Well, that's weird.
23:17When?
23:18Fairview Chamber of Commerce, the annual dinner.
23:21Oh, my God.
23:21That's right.
23:22That's right.
23:23You're up for the Latino Businessman of the Year award that Phil won.
23:28Well, actually, I beat him out twice.
23:30No.
23:32Oh, I remember.
23:33Carlos was so annoyed.
23:35What did you say, hon?
23:36He may have that trophy, but I've got you.
23:42Ain't that funny?
23:44Gabby, can we talk for a sec?
23:46Not right now.
23:47Phil and I are getting in the hot tub.
23:48Oh, Phil, did you bring your suit?
23:50You said I didn't have to.
23:52Not in front of Arlo's, kay?
23:55Go outside.
23:56I'll meet you there.
24:01Phil Lopez.
24:03You brought on Phil Lopez?
24:05I had no idea you hated me that much.
24:08Well, now you know.
24:12Oh.
24:13Ah!
24:17Hey, good news.
24:19My realtor found me some sweet locations.
24:22That's great.
24:24Hey, can we talk about this restaurant thing for a second?
24:28Yeah, what's up?
24:29I don't know if you noticed, but when you first pitched the whole pizza concept, I was a wee bit
24:35skeptical.
24:35Yeah, I sensed that.
24:37Of course you did, because you're a smart guy, which is also why you are going to jump on the
24:42idea I have to make the whole thing work.
24:46Okay, so you're not bailing on me?
24:48No. No, no, no. I am totally on board.
24:51Oh, good. You had me scared there for a second.
24:55Okay, so, well, what is this great idea?
24:58I'm thinking catering company.
25:02Huh?
25:03Start small, have an Italian theme, create some cash flow, and then later on, expand into the pizza thing.
25:12But that's not my dream.
25:14Well, think about it.
25:16You're going to do all these fun parties.
25:18People will start talking.
25:20Hey, this is great food. This guy should open a restaurant.
25:23Yeah, yeah, I'd eat there and then wham, five, short.
25:26Years later, you have a built-in customer base.
25:30But I said it's not my dream. Pizza is my dream.
25:33I know, I know. Catering's how you get there.
25:35So why can't I just skip the catering and go straight to the pizza?
25:37Because you'll fail.
25:40I'm sorry.
25:42I shouldn't have said that.
25:43But you're gambling with our life savings and you have no experience.
25:48You said you'd support me.
25:54I'm trying to. I am trying to, but are you aware that 90% of restaurants tank in their first
26:00year?
26:00Which means that 10% of them make it. Why don't you ever think that I would be one of
26:04them?
26:04No, no. Do me a favor.
26:09Don't answer that.
26:10Don't answer that.
26:19Yoo-hoo, Carlos.
26:22I'm making a snack for Phil.
26:25You want something to eat?
26:27Some sour grapes, perhaps?
26:30Maybe a little crow?
26:41Okay, we need to move this over there.
26:43Why?
26:45Uh, Feng Shui.
26:46I don't know. Don't just stand there. Help me.
26:58Yes! Yes!
27:00Hey, don't start without me.
27:03Oh, no, no. Let's get something straight.
27:05You and I are not going to have sex tonight.
27:08What?
27:09I'm sorry. No offense. You're a nice guy. I'm just not into you that way.
27:13Oh, God! Phil! Yes! Yes! Get into me!
27:17Okay, okay.
27:18I'm not talking to you. Back off.
27:21But I thought, I mean, the hot tub, we were...
27:24Yes, you saw my boobs.
27:26And you're going to have that mental snapshot to use as you wish for the rest of your life.
27:29That is all you're getting!
27:33Wait, wait, wait. You're just using me?
27:37Unbelievable.
27:38I am what?
27:39We're unbelievable!
27:40Really? Oh, so are you!
27:43Thanks, boys. Yes!
27:51No wonder you're divorcing her. She's a straight-up loon.
27:55Crap, she's blocking my car.
27:59Always happy to help a brother out.
28:01Hold on.
28:05Oh, God! Yes!
28:08All right, cowboy!
28:10Oh, yes!
28:13Take me home, Billy!
28:16You should wear a saddle!
28:17Yes! Yes!
28:19Stupid, Billy. I told you to beat it. No means no.
28:22No!
28:25I need your car keys.
28:27You're blocking the stallion's hatchback.
28:37Oh, yes! Yes, Phil!
28:40Fill me with Phil!
28:42I never said that.
28:44And you moved the bed. What were you thinking?
28:47Shut up.
28:48You know, if you're trying to hurt me, that's not the way to do it.
28:50Well, then enlighten me!
28:52How can I hit you so hard that you will never recover?
28:57You can't.
28:58No, I have to, Carlos. I need you to give up on us.
29:02We're not good for each other, and I can't keep doing this.
29:06But I can.
29:08You proved something tonight.
29:10You had a rich, good-looking guy in your bed, and you couldn't pull the trigger.
29:15That means you still care.
29:17And as long as I know that, I can take anything that you can dish out.
29:25You know what? I'm tired.
29:27Can we talk about this in the morning?
29:30Sure.
29:31But you're bringing me breakfast in bed or no deal.
29:36It's a date.
29:54Sarah?
29:55What are you, uh, oh!
29:58Oh, Julie, thank God it's you. We totally thought you were the cops.
30:02Oh, hey, Julie. What are you, on Buzzkill Patrol tonight?
30:06This is why you couldn't go to the movies with me?
30:09Well, sorry. I thought you weren't that into him.
30:11You know, if you are...
30:12I'm not. I'm just... I'm mad that you blew me off.
30:15Well, I would totally understand if you wanted to blow me off for a date.
30:20You call this a date? Getting mauled in a car?
30:22Hey, you want to talk about this later? I'm losing altitude here.
30:27You are disgusting. Enjoy the rest of your date.
30:35Julie, there you are.
30:37I think I found a way to get through to Mike.
30:39Let it go. He's not into you.
30:46Gabby, rise and shine. I made you some waffles.
30:56I got a second wind last night, so I went to a bar. That's where I met Jason.
31:00We spent the whole night, how did you put it? Pulling the trigger.
31:10So, did I hurt you, or should I keep trying?
31:22And you kicked ass in rehab today.
31:26Yeah, I raised my arm over my head. Signed me up for the Olympics.
31:30Oh, and be patient. It takes time.
31:33Hey, Sprig.
31:34Phone call for you at the nurse's station.
31:36For me? Huh.
31:39I'll be right back.
31:46There's a phone call for me?
31:49Sirson? Where do you...
31:51Shh, I thought you could use some fresh air.
31:53Hello?
31:55Hello, it's Edie.
32:00Who the hell is this? Who's he?
32:01Oh, this is Hank, and he has very kindly offered to take us on a little field trip today.
32:05For 60 bucks an hour.
32:07Where are you taking me?
32:09Uh, just a little jaunt down memory lane.
32:12Oh God, you're not taking me to that fish and disco place, are you?
32:16No, no. What we're doing today is a little more low-key.
32:19Don't worry, you're totally safe.
32:21We're not doing anything wrong.
32:26Punch it!
32:30Oh!
32:33Hello.
32:34Look, Mrs. Hodge, I've only seen your daughter once since the motel.
32:38She told me that you backed off.
32:39Oh, Mr. Filotti, I'm not here to threaten you.
32:41I've come to give you my blessing.
32:44Your blessing?
32:45Yes, Danielle made it quite clear that I'm powerless to stop this relationship,
32:49and since she assures me that you love her.
32:51You do love her, don't you?
32:54Yes, of course.
32:55Good. Then we're all set.
33:00Here are some of her clothes.
33:01I'll bring her CDs and her stuffed animals over tomorrow.
33:05You want her to stay here?
33:07This place is kind of small.
33:09Well, that hotel room was small and you seemed happy enough there.
33:13Oh, and I trust you to be discreet.
33:15You wouldn't want your wife to find out about this and use it against you in your divorce.
33:20Whoa, whoa.
33:21Mrs. Hodge?
33:23Things are getting a little bit complicated.
33:25Could you please tell Danielle that this is not going to work out?
33:28Mr. Filotti, if you want to break my daughter's heart, I can't stop you.
33:32But I will not be an accomplice.
33:34You'll tell her yourself.
33:37Right.
33:37And don't even think about blaming me, because if you so much as mention that we spoke, I'll phone the
33:43police.
33:45Fine. I will leave you out of it.
33:50Oh, and one more thing.
33:52Yes?
33:53Danielle is applying to colleges.
33:55I do hope she can count on you for a glowing recommendation.
34:00Sure.
34:06And when I locked myself out of the house, that's where the bush was that you found me in.
34:10Naked.
34:11Surely you remember that.
34:13Nope.
34:15Ouch, that hurts.
34:16Um, okay, remember this spot?
34:19This is where we sat in your truck and had our first kiss.
34:23Were you naked then, too?
34:27Ugh, Mike. Why are you being this way?
34:30This is pointless. I'm sorry. I can't. I don't remember being with you.
34:36Okay, I know it's hard, but you gotta make an effort.
34:39And you know, if your head is a little foggy, then don't look there.
34:42Look in your heart.
34:44Because I'm in there.
34:46Just like you're inside mine.
34:50Okay. Um, this is Mary Alice's house.
34:55And this is where we first met.
34:57I was setting out my macaroni and cheese.
34:59And you were in line and-
35:01Oh! Oh!
35:03I'm good.
35:05Finally, a smile.
35:06You do that a lot, don't you?
35:08Well, yeah. I've been known to take a spiller, too.
35:10But, you know, my doctor says it's an inner ear.
35:14Wait, you remember that?
35:16Yeah, I think I do.
35:18Yes! That's progress, see?
35:21Oh, it's all gonna come back.
35:22We're gonna be us again.
35:25But, what about the British guy?
35:29Ah.
35:33Mike, I don't know what Edie's been telling you,
35:36but Ian and I, we're just friends.
35:38Just friends?
35:40Yeah.
35:42Now.
35:47Look, you gotta understand.
35:50The doctors were telling me that you would probably never wake up.
35:55And I just needed somebody to talk to.
35:58And that's what you were doing in the country.
36:01Talking.
36:06Mr. Delfino!
36:08Are you okay?
36:11I'm fine.
36:12You can't just discharge a patient without permission.
36:15Oh, but you- I was just trying to help him remember.
36:17And, uh, tell her, Mike.
36:18We were- we were making progress.
36:22Take me back to the hospital.
36:30Oh, uh...
36:30Mike!
36:32Well, at the risk of stating the obvious,
36:35it's over.
36:36He's mine now.
36:38No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
36:39This is not how this ends.
36:41No, no, evil does not triumph over good.
36:43That's how you see me?
36:44Damn straight.
36:45You lie, you cheat, you scheme.
36:47You ruin people's relationships.
36:49I mean, how do you sleep at night?
36:52Soon, with Mike on top of me.
36:54If you know what I mean.
36:56See? Evil! Evil!
36:58Has it ever occurred to you that maybe Mike and I are meant to end up together?
37:06No!
37:07Mike, you don't even want him.
37:10You're just doing this to hurt me.
37:12Wow.
37:14How self-absorbed can you be?
37:16I have had a thing from Mike since the day he moved in here.
37:19And I even backed off when he fell for your little Miss Adorable act.
37:22But he's over that.
37:23It's my turn now.
37:24And I will be better for him than you ever were.
37:27And if you do get hurt, well, that's just gravy.
37:34Alright.
37:37Maybe that was a little evil.
37:53Finally.
37:54Sorry it took so long.
37:55That last digit was barely legible.
37:58I thought you'd like to do the honors.
38:13You've reached Mike Delfino Plumbing.
38:15Please leave a message after the beep.
38:17I don't!
38:20No!
38:31The End
38:32Whoa! A D-!
38:34That blows.
38:35Yeah, it does.
38:36Especially since it's not the one we did together.
38:38You emailed me the wrong paper.
38:40You didn't even read it before you turned it in?
38:42I didn't think I had to.
38:43The one you wrote that night was great.
38:44Well, after you left, I decided I really should put it in your words.
38:51Is this some weird chick thing you did because you're into me?
38:54Oh, please.
38:56No, no, no, it is.
38:57You're pissed because I hooked up with your friend.
38:59No, I'm pissed because you told me some sob story, so I'd write your paper for you.
39:03Now you owe me 15 bucks.
39:06You know what?
39:08Here.
39:11Oh, and I did learn something.
39:14Iago betrayed Othello because he was jealous.
39:25Oh, Danielle, I thought you'd be with Mr. Filotti tonight.
39:27Oh, you'll be happy to know he dumped me.
39:30He dumped you?
39:31Said it was getting too messy that I was going to complicate his divorce.
39:36Don't pretend you're sorry.
39:37I don't plan to.
39:39I hope this doesn't make history class too awkward.
39:42Oh, you don't have to worry about that.
39:44I went to the principal and got his ass fired.
39:46And then when he called to yell at me for squealing on him, I recorded the call and sent a
39:49tape of it to his wife.
39:52Thanks to me, he'll be getting nothing in this divorce.
39:58I must say that was rather underhanded.
40:01Yes.
40:02I wonder where she gets it.
40:08Bye, Daddy.
40:10I'll see you guys next Friday, okay?
40:12Kayla said that you're opening a pizza place.
40:15Oh, maybe.
40:17I mean, it's not a done deal yet.
40:19Ah, Lynette put the kibosh on it, huh?
40:23What makes you say that?
40:25Well, you know, Lynette.
40:30She's probably right.
40:31I mean, there's a bunch of dumb schmucks out there trying to open restaurants, so.
40:34You know, Tom, I've tasted your pizza.
40:36And I have to be perfectly honest with you.
40:40It was like I died and went to Italy.
40:45Really?
40:46Oh, my God, you are born to do this.
40:49And I just hate to see you give it up because, well.
40:54Man, this is none of my business.
40:56But Lynette does bully you sometimes.
41:03She doesn't mean to.
41:04Then don't let her.
41:05You go to the mat on this one.
41:06And she will respect you a lot more if you grow a pair.
41:11I'm not trying to insult you.
41:14All I'm saying is that I know what you're capable of.
41:23And I believe in you.
41:27You really needed to hear that.
41:32Thanks.
41:42Sabotage.
41:43Sabotage.
41:43Everyone is capable of it, but some go about it more ruthlessly than others.
41:51Like the ones who crave vengeance.
41:56Or the ones who hunger for love.
42:02Or the ones who are determined to burn bridges.
42:07And then there are those who simply want something.
42:11Wish Daddy lived here so he could tuck me in the zoo.
42:14Something that belongs to someone else.
42:18I'm working on it, Piglet.
42:23Mama's working on it.
42:29There is no secret.
42:31If you can do it, but my life is amazing.
42:31Bye.
42:38Jeremy.
42:38Bye.
42:44Bye.
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