- 8 hours ago
Desperate Housewives Season 3 Episode 6 Full Episode
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00:01Previously on Desperate Housewives
00:02Gabrielle got even
00:04So did I hurt you or should I keep trying?
00:06Tom got an idea
00:07I'm gonna open up a pizza parlor
00:09Bree got a warning
00:10He's a cold-blooded killer
00:12The police got a clue
00:14Those blue marks, I think it's a phone number
00:17Can't reach Mike Delfino
00:18This should never have happened
00:20And the battle for Mike's affection
00:22Got ugly
00:23How do you sleep at night?
00:25Soon, with Mike on top of me
00:30It is often said that confession
00:32Is good for the soul
00:35No one knew this better than a certain blonde
00:38Who had been confessing her sins to Father O'Malley
00:41Once a week since she was a child
00:44As the years had passed
00:46Much to Father O'Malley's dismay
00:48A theme began to emerge
00:52I seduce the cable guy again
00:55I'm having an affair with a folk singing duo
00:59Last week I let Rabbi Lippman get to third base
01:03And once she had been forgiven
01:06Father O'Malley would tell Edie Britt
01:09To go out into the world and sin no more
01:14Unfortunately for Edie
01:16Temptation seemed to be
01:18Hello there
01:21Everywhere
01:26Edie, what were we like together
01:30Before the accident?
01:32What do you mean?
01:34You know, were we close?
01:38Honestly?
01:40We lived about 50 feet from each other
01:43And you barely knew that I existed
01:45Seriously?
01:47It's true
01:48I mean, you weren't rude or anything
01:51We'd wave or exchange hellos
01:53As we went to get our mail
01:54But you never really looked at me
01:56I mean, not really
01:57I was just another neighbor to you
02:00Well, if we weren't friends
02:02Why are you here every day, helping me?
02:06Because
02:08From the first moment I laid eyes on you
02:12I sort of fell in love with you
02:17Oh
02:18Yeah, and I'm not telling you this
02:20Because I expect anything
02:21So you can just relax
02:22Okay?
02:24Okay
02:26But when you do come back home
02:27And we do run into each other
02:29When we're getting our mail
02:32I'd really appreciate it if you'd
02:35Just look at me
02:39That's all
02:42I'm looking at you now
02:56Yes
02:58It is often said confession
03:01Is good for the soul
03:02Mike Delfino and I made out today
03:04And it was great
03:06But some confessions
03:09Are just bragging
03:11In disguise
03:40In disguise
03:55¡Gracias!
04:13...or extended family.
04:15But on this day, the surprise awaiting Brie was far more disagreeable than she ever could have imagined.
04:23Hello, Brie.
04:25Carolyn, this isn't a very good time. I'm baking.
04:29Brie, um, hi. We haven't met. I'm Harvey Bixby, and I brought my wife here to apologize.
04:37It's a souffle. The timing is everything.
04:40Please, please. Um, she's been under a great deal of stress since Alma's disappearance, and she really hasn't been herself.
04:49Much of that was due to the Mexican painkillers that she was purchasing online, but I put a stop to
04:53that.
04:57Well, Orson tells me that the two of you were very close, and out of respect for that friendship, I'm
05:02all ears.
05:04After thinking it over, I realized that maybe I was out of line.
05:07I was definitely out of line with the terrible accusations that I made.
05:11I'm deeply sorry for the pain that I caused.
05:14I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me.
05:18Well, I can appreciate how difficult that must have been for you.
05:25Apology accepted.
05:27Ah, I'm so relieved.
05:29As am I.
05:30Well, you don't know how rusty my golf game's gotten without this one keeping me on my toes.
05:34Well, perhaps we can all get together for dinner at the club sometime.
05:37That sounds lovely.
05:41Darling, you are amazing, you know that?
05:43To rise above all that unpleasantness with such dignity.
05:47Well, thank you, darling.
05:49But if you think for one second that I'm gonna break bread with that malicious pill-popping shrew,
05:54you're out of your mind.
06:17Hey Susan, whatcha doing?
06:20I just dropped my trowel, thanks.
06:24Alrighty then.
06:25You have a nice day.
06:27Bye-bye.
06:30Susan?
06:32Ian.
06:33What a surprise.
06:34Were you hiding from me?
06:38A little.
06:40I...
06:40Just the last time we saw each other it was so awkward and complicated.
06:45Water under the bridge.
06:46And besides, this is strictly business.
06:48I'm throwing a party for an editor friend in from London and I thought you two should meet.
06:52You could bring a date if you want.
06:54Speaking of which, how are things with Mike?
06:58Oh, uh, they're moving along.
07:02It's a process.
07:04And the blonde woman who's been visiting him every day, is she part of the process?
07:08Uh, Edie?
07:09Oh, she's just a neighbor.
07:12She visits Mike after her hepatitis C treatments.
07:17Oh.
07:18Well, I-I do hope you can come to the party.
07:20So you can meet my editor friend.
07:22I just-I just don't think that's a good idea.
07:26Right.
07:27Well, at least I, uh, I got to see you.
07:31You're out.
07:41This is ludicrous.
07:42The Biedermeier armoire.
07:44It's my understanding that your client doesn't even like animals.
07:48Totally immaterial.
07:49It's a valuable asset.
07:51Fine.
07:52Let's discuss the Costa Boda vase.
07:54Nope.
07:55It's a premarital acquisition.
07:57We can verify that with receipts.
08:01It was a gift to Mr. Solis.
08:02Maybe you were sick that day at law school, Myron, but it's called community property.
08:06Don't patronize me, Kenny.
08:08We're prepared to go to the mat on this one.
08:09Oh, enough.
08:10Just give her what she wants.
08:11Look, I'm sick of fighting.
08:12It's just stuff.
08:13Uh, I'd like a moment alone with my client.
08:15This has been going on for months.
08:16I'm done.
08:17Draw up the papers.
08:18I'll sign whatever.
08:19You're giving me everything I want, just like that?
08:22Just like that.
08:25We expect to see the paperwork by the end of business.
08:29How sweet is that?
08:32We nailed their asses.
08:35Mrs. Solis, they completely folded.
08:40That's a thing.
08:41Carlos doesn't fold.
08:43That son of a bitch is up to something.
08:50Before you come in, cover your eyes.
08:52Tom.
08:53Do it.
08:56Okay.
08:57Now, when I say open, don't look with your eyes.
09:01Look with your imagination.
09:04Okay.
09:05Okay.
09:06Open.
09:09Oh, dear God.
09:10Damn it.
09:10You looked with your eyes.
09:12It's a dump.
09:13What are you thinking?
09:14I'll grant you, it's a fixer-upper.
09:16It's a burner-downer.
09:17Come on, honey.
09:19Go with me.
09:19We can put in booze with checkered tablecloths, a jukebox, a big screen to watch sports on.
09:25How could you not see the potential in this place?
09:28Well, I just don't.
09:30Tom, you know how I feel about this pizza thing.
09:34Well, hopefully it'll grow on you.
09:38Don't tell me you didn't sign a lease.
09:42There's gonna be a dart board.
09:45Tom?
09:46No.
09:46There were multiple offers.
09:48I had to move fast.
09:49You leased a building without telling me?
09:51Well, maybe I didn't tell you because I knew you'd try and talk me out of the best opportunity
09:54of my life.
09:58Okay.
09:59Okay.
10:00Here's what we're going to do.
10:01You said there were multiple offers, so we can sublease.
10:04Now, let's get the hell out of here.
10:07You said you'd support my dream.
10:09My mistake.
10:10I assumed you'd have a dream worth supporting.
10:15I'm gonna stay here tonight.
10:17Fine.
10:17Come on.
10:34Two lemonades for the victors.
10:36We keep playing like this, Bree, and we are a cinch for the finals.
10:39Hello, Tish.
10:40Hello, Rebecca.
10:43Did you see that?
10:44She just deliberately snuffed me.
10:45Maybe she didn't notice you.
10:47Rebecca, I just spoke to her and called me paranoid, but Amy Griswold did the same thing
10:52to me on the golf course last week.
10:54What is going on?
10:56You really don't know?
10:57No, I have no idea what.
10:59Tish is very good friends with Carolyn Bigsby.
11:02Carolyn knows Tish?
11:04She knows everyone.
11:05Anyway, Tish won't talk to you because you married Orson even after Carolyn told you
11:10that he'd killed his wife.
11:11That is ridiculous.
11:13Orson did not kill Alma.
11:14And besides, Carolyn just apologized to me for that yesterday.
11:17Well, maybe that hasn't gotten back to Tish.
11:20Oh, you don't believe any of that nonsense, do you?
11:24Do you?
11:26Bree, you're the best doubles partner I've ever had.
11:28Can we talk about this after the tournament?
11:40Hello.
11:40I'd like to make a reservation for this evening under the names Hodge and Bigsby.
11:45And, um, we'll be leaving a table in the center.
11:49How long will Daddy be gone?
11:51Well, that sort of depends on Daddy.
11:53Are you two mad at each other?
11:55Yeah.
11:56A little.
11:57But that's okay.
11:58That's okay.
11:58We still love each other very much.
12:00But just like kids, sometimes grown-ups throw tantrums and need a time out.
12:04Why can't he take a time out in his room?
12:06Because he decided to take it in his pizza place.
12:09Fair.
12:10That sounds fun.
12:11Not this pizza place.
12:12It's a rat hole.
12:13But once your dad comes to his senses and stops being petulant, he'll come home.
12:19What's petulant?
12:20It means childish, stubborn, careless with my money and your futures.
12:27Huh?
12:27It's a grown-up word.
12:29And when Daddy comes home, you'll learn a new one.
12:34Grovel.
12:37They caught in a really big fight.
12:39Daddy's sleeping at the restaurant.
12:40No, no.
12:41It's good that you told me, sweet Pete.
12:43You keep those little ears open.
12:45Okay?
12:46Okay.
12:47Bye, Mom.
12:47Bye.
12:51Oh, hey.
12:52That's for me.
12:52I'll take that.
12:54Okay.
13:06Well, I'm Pete.
13:06I'm gonna take a nap.
13:08Uh, hold it.
13:09You're a sweaty mess.
13:11So I was working out.
13:12So you're not laying on anything in this house until you take a shower.
13:16Fair enough.
13:17It's all yours now, right?
13:41I don't know, Myron.
13:42It's a bunch of legal mumbo-jumbo.
13:43Just read it and call me back.
13:47Crap.
13:55Crap.
14:07What?
14:08Uh, why did you put those shorts back on?
14:13Why do you care?
14:14Uh, it's just that they're filthy and I was gonna wash them for you.
14:18You wanna wash my shorts?
14:20I don't want to, but if you wear them one more time, they're gonna ask me themselves.
14:26Wow.
14:32Wait a minute.
14:33I forgot something in the pocket.
14:42No bleach.
14:43Got it.
14:46So it's a job contract?
14:48Uh, Welch and Simon are offering him two million over three years plus stock options.
14:52Well, that's fantastic.
14:53I get half, right?
14:54Well, no.
14:55If you're legally divorced when he signs the contract, then you don't see a dime.
14:59That conniving, underhanded snake.
15:02Thank God I broke into his desk.
15:04At least now we know why he was so quick to fold on your settlement.
15:08Okay, well, let's just say something happened to postpone the divorce.
15:10I would still get my share of that two million, right?
15:13Yeah.
15:13In theory, but how would you manage that?
15:17I know how Carlos thinks.
15:18More importantly, what he thinks with.
15:31Was that Susan Meyer?
15:32Yeah, Why?
15:33Mr. Delfino asked not to be disturbed.
15:36Mine?
15:37It's me.
15:39Are you decent?
15:40Mmm.
15:44Ugh.
15:57¡Suscríbete al canal!
16:15¡Suscríbete al canal!
16:45Oh, right. I wish Paul Young was still around. He'd know what to do.
16:52Fine, Gabby. Don't say hi.
16:56Hey, cocktails? Nobody called me?
16:58It was spur of the moment. We're numbing the pain of our miserable lives.
17:02Oh, well, I wish I could do that with exercise, but why risk a heart attack?
17:07Make mine a double.
17:10i don't recognize her who is she that's what we're trying to figure out your phone number
17:17was written on her hand i'm sorry i can't help you he's had a bit of memory loss after 2004
17:25things are fuzzy no memory huh it's convenient well thank you for your time mr delvino
17:38you killed a cop once didn't you that was self-defense well it wasn't just beginner's luck
17:47you want to charge me with something go ahead otherwise get the hell out of my room
17:54were you always this angry mr delvino or can't you remember
18:12so do you sell by the slice or do i gotta buy a whole pie
18:16what are you doing here i knew how hard you were working
18:19so i figured i'd bring you a little something to eat
18:24and drink
18:28you know i can't pronounce this wine which means it's either really expensive
18:33or i have had too much can't believe that lynette doesn't just love this place
18:40if you ask me she's just a negative nelly
18:44she's just being realistic i mean the restaurant business is brutal
18:47listen to me okay because i'm a very intuitive person
18:51and you have a real aura of success about you
18:59come on
19:00i'm serious
19:03i believe in you
19:04tom scott
19:06thank you
19:11what just happened
19:14we kissed no you kissed me no no no you wanted me to no no no no i didn't
19:21really because this is you my wife doesn't get me hey let's have some more wine alone
19:26in a deserted building i was just looking to vent i wasn't looking for anything more
19:31okay but when opportunity knocks nora please
19:35i love my wife
19:40really you mean the one who thinks that you're a loser
19:43no the one that loves me enough to keep me from screwing up
19:47i think it's about time i got back home to her
19:51you let me on
19:53you shouldn't have done that
20:05i'm just gonna say it tequila makes me happy
20:10yeah we're drinking on the porch you got a problem with that
20:13oh i know them they live on cyprus they just celebrated their 53rd wedding anniversary
20:20show off don't worry it won't last you're just following yourselves
20:24hey i know them oh 53 years what do you think their secret is
20:29i'll take a wild guess the man never opened a pizza place
20:33oh i just thought of something i'm never gonna celebrate a 53rd wedding anniversary
20:39i'd have to live into my 90s oh my god i'm gonna die bite on this
20:49can i tell you guys something something i can only tell you guys
20:52oh god here she goes again what grade is he in
20:56not what i was gonna say what i was gonna say
20:59is with all his conniving and trickery
21:02i still love carlos yeah he's hot
21:08anyway what if i never find that passion with anybody else
21:12well maybe you should try to patch things up with him
21:16nah i already paid a lawyer i'm taking him down
21:20i brought this on myself i tell tom i want you to be your own man but the truth is
21:24i don't i want him to have what he wants if it's what i want
21:32i'm a bitch with a capital c no no you're not you're a great wife and a great mother
21:42although don't you have children i had passion with mike
21:48then drama lots of drama love isn't supposed to be that hard
21:54oh sweet
21:58but you know with ian everything was always easy you know that's the kind of guy i could see myself
22:04living into my 90s with so go to ian tell him you made the wrong choice and he's the one
22:10you want
22:10to be with what have you got to lose excuse me ladies
22:15lux who's in god called you a cab i'm looking for a 43 47 ida greenberg
22:28i'm ida greenberg yeah you are see you later go ida go ida
22:54oh
22:55susan you came of course i came oh oh i just love your house it always smells like you
23:05oh my gosh it's the thing is that tonight well yes isn't that why you're here no no no actually
23:13i just i just had something to tell you well of course oh doug see if you can find judith
23:19for me
23:21thank you well as long as you're here i want you to meet that editor i was telling you about
23:25oh i didn't think that's a good idea because i i didn't really bring my a game is it hot
23:31are you sloshed
23:35susan oh is this the susan you've been telling us all about yes this is she could you um give
23:42us a
23:42moment of course
23:47um what's going on nothing i just had a few drinks with my girlfriends and thank god because it gave
23:53me the courage to come over here and tell you what's really in my heart
23:59you want
24:01but first i think i should use the powder room of course it's um it's over there
24:13she seems nice ian oh yes she's um she's absolutely delightful
24:26oh i'm so sorry that you had to see that i see you've met judith
24:37so with a hundred bucks riding on it the pressure's on me now i reach into my bag i grab
24:41my four iron
24:43and but a bang hole in one and there's been no living with him ever since
24:49did i not tell you how hilarious these two are together oh they are a regular barrel of tish
24:54why hello brie carolyn oh do you two know each other well that saves me an introduction
25:02ah tish you know i was wondering if you need any help with the christmas gala last year i was
25:06on the
25:06decorations committee oh my god i forgot to call you what an idiot we'll talk first thing tomorrow
25:12that would be lovely thanks nice to see you nice to be seen
25:19well i need to powder my nose care to join me oh i'd love to
25:25so happy we did this yes me too it's been a delightful evening so it's so fun
25:30could you get us some extra tissues thank you
25:35you know i realized something just the other day you've never seen a picture of alma have you no why
25:53granted it's not her best look
25:58what is all this that's the police report that alma filed after orson hit her
26:04it's all in there bruises contusions broken wrist this is not possible
26:11photos don't lie brie is this why you apologized yes
26:17i wanted you to spend time with me so you can see i'm not some crazy nut out to get
26:21you
26:22i'm sorry but if something like that happened again i could never forgive myself
26:28thank you
26:31i had a feeling you might need these
26:37bring me another one hey buddy
26:41want to slow it down a little bit huh
26:46barbie look i'm going through something and i don't have anyone else to talk to about it
26:52i had an affair
26:56uh does carolinda no idea i met this girl on a flight from paris and and we just
27:03connected no i know it sounds crazy but it was love at first sight are you still seeing her no
27:11that's
27:11the thing a few months ago she stopped returning my calls and then i went by her place and i've
27:16looked
27:17for her everywhere and she's just disappeared no i i'll tell you now i know what you went through
27:23with alma it's brutal it gets better trust me i just can't get past it i i i can't get
27:30monique out of my
27:31mind monique that's her name monique pollier isn't she beautiful
27:46she's very pretty
27:52you're back wow two girls were going a long time everything okay
28:00so who wants dessert
28:14hey hey
28:19what have you been up to oh just a quiet night with the girls
28:28listen something happened tonight and it got me thinking and
28:34you mean more to me than any restaurant ever could oh stop right there i am the one who should
28:39apologize i have been a bad wife no no no no no you were just trying to keep me from
28:44doing something
28:45reckless well any wife can support a husband who never takes risks and i don't want that kind
28:49of husband and i'll be damned if i'm gonna be that kind of wife so you open your pizza place
28:55and we will find a way to make it work i don't know how much it means for me to
29:00hear that
29:03god i love you
29:08so what happened tonight okay but don't react until i've told you the whole story and remember
29:14it's actually a good thing because it brought us back together
29:24ding dong i don't know what tom told you but he came on to me i'm sorry i didn't quite
29:31catch that
29:32why don't you just come on over here and say that to me again stay away from me i've been
29:37trying to
29:37stay away from you mom
29:45everything's all right so you can just go back into your room and play kayla don't move
30:01okay never mind i'm leaving
30:09first i'm just gonna give your mom a hug your association with my family is over when kayla
30:15comes to visit you will drop her at the end of the block you will never again see my husband
30:19and if
30:20you try to i will do to your spine what i just did to your front door nod if you
30:27understand
30:36and you i'm gonna see you on saturday right don't forget your swimsuit
30:52good morning you're looking bright-eyed and bushy oh did you stay here all night well i slept
31:02on the sofa when i brought you home you were still as you americans say tossing your tacos oh please
31:09keep the food references to a minimum bless you
31:19so what else happened you don't remember well i'll tell you what i'll repeat what you said
31:26last night and you say whether it was you or the booze talking are you ready
31:30you said you missed me susan or booze susan you said it was a mistake breaking up with me and
31:37that
31:38you wanted to start again susan or booze susan then you said that you wanted to dress me up
31:46like a schoolboy and spank my naughty bottom susan or booze
31:55i didn't say that yeah all right then but if you had um susan or booze
32:05and a little of both so booze
32:09¿Qué?
32:29Doctor Ridley.
32:31Here's Jane Doe in the morgue.
32:33His name is Monique Houllier.
32:35Who's this?
32:36Just before she died, she was having an affair with a man named Harvey Bixby.
32:41You got that?
32:42Yeah.
32:42Can I get your name?
32:43I'll need to bring you in for a statement.
32:58Carlos, could you come help me?
33:00I'm watching the game.
33:02It'll just take a second, please.
33:10What, Gabby?
33:12Whoa.
33:14You look nice.
33:17Oh, thanks.
33:18I'm gonna go meet some new friends for dinner.
33:20But my zipper's stuck.
33:21Can you help me?
33:28Man, this is really stuck.
33:30Looks like somebody put superglue on it or something.
33:33Huh.
33:34Weird.
33:36Well, you know what?
33:37I don't want to be late, so I should probably change.
33:41Wow.
33:42Oh, Carlos.
33:44This old thing.
33:45We've seen it all before.
33:47I'm just gonna wear the little blue number.
33:50Will you hand me those stockings?
33:54Oh, I've got a raggedy nail.
33:58You're gonna have to help me put those on.
34:03Are you sure about that?
34:05Well, I do it myself, but I don't want to get a snack.
34:16It's been a long time.
34:19Really?
34:20Seems like yesterday to me.
34:27You want me to help you hook that?
34:30Sure.
34:31Why not?
34:33For old time's sake.
34:47What about your new friends?
34:50I decided I'd rather catch up with an old one.
35:17Mr. Bigsby, Detective Ridley, homicide.
35:20I understand you know her.
35:33Uh, all right, yes, we were sleeping together.
35:38Can we do this somewhere else?
35:40Sure.
35:49Carlos, you think we're making a mistake?
35:52What do you mean?
35:53The whole divorce thing.
35:55Maybe we shouldn't go through with it.
35:57It's not like we're gonna find this kind of passion
36:00with anyone else.
36:03Are you saying you want to stay together?
36:06Yeah.
36:07I guess I am.
36:09Why don't we just put all of this behind us
36:11and stay together?
36:12What do you say?
36:13Oh, baby.
36:15If you knew how long I waited to hear you say the...
36:23What?
36:24What's so funny?
36:25Oh, man.
36:27I thought I'd be able to get through this without cracking up,
36:29but you are just too funny.
36:35There's a little something that I need to own up to.
36:38I know that the only reason you slept with me
36:41was because I got a new job.
36:43You got a new job?
36:45Honey, that's wonderful.
36:47Gabby, please.
36:48You're a model.
36:49Not a model slash actress.
36:51There is no job.
36:53The contracts at my desk are fake.
36:54I mailed them to myself.
36:57What?
36:59Why would you do that?
37:01Well, let's see.
37:06You did this just to get me in bed?
37:09No.
37:10I did it because I knew you'd smell money and come crawling back.
37:14Then I could turn you down and walk out on my own terms.
37:17Your terms?
37:18You don't get to screw around on me, take my money,
37:21and then walk away without a scratch.
37:23I want you hurting, baby.
37:24And judging by the look on your face,
37:26when you saw two million imaginary dollars disappear,
37:29I succeeded.
37:31You are a bastard.
37:33Better a bastard than a whore.
37:39Oh, God.
37:46Hello?
37:47There's been an accident.
37:49My husband, he...
37:54I'm going to have to call you back.
38:00Carlos?
38:03Honey?
38:06Carlos?
38:12Oh, yeah.
38:15It's on.
38:23There's a place in St. Timothy's Church
38:25where sinners go to confess their sins.
38:29And once they're done, they expect absolution.
38:32But the truth is, not all confessions
38:35are worthy of such forgiveness.
38:38Most who unveil hidden agendas
38:40deserve the condemnation they receive.
38:44Most who disclose vengeful motives
38:47merit the punishment that follows.
38:51Only the truly repentant
38:52have any right at all to expect
38:55a second chance.
38:58Come on.
38:59What's my surprise?
39:13I thought you'd never get here.
39:17Which is why it's best to think twice
39:19before you confess.
39:21Mike?
39:23What's wrong?
39:27The...
39:28The girl who died.
39:30Especially if you don't know what it is
39:33you're confessing to.
39:35I think I knew her.
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