- 2 hours ago
Hacks Season 5 Episode 4
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Short filmTranscript
00:01So, I know you haven't seen me in a while.
00:03When Hollywood wants to get rid of a woman, they just say she was difficult.
00:07But a man gets away with having sex with his stepdaughter because, well, that's just his process.
00:11Am I right, y'all?
00:16The reports of my death were fake news.
00:20As was Us Weekly every time they published, I didn't wear it better, y'all.
00:24Y'all again. What is that?
00:30All right. Let's get to the Persecution Pyramid.
00:38Every woman who has ever done something brave or unexpected is either called crazy, shot in the face, or even
00:43worse,
00:44whorted by a contract she didn't read closely, you know.
00:48Oh, I'm so sorry. Hey, you.
00:53Yeah, I'm just in a meeting.
00:54All right, let's take a break.
00:59So, yeah, maybe we want to rethink the Persecution Pyramid and also the, um, just all of it, I think.
01:04No, it's the crowd. I mean, they work for me. I paid people to be here.
01:08It's a completely different dynamic than in a comedy club.
01:11Besides, Josefina's in a mood because I don't like her new water filter.
01:13Totally. I think maybe we want to focus on, like, what's been funny about the past few years,
01:18and then we can sort of work in the systematic oppression of it all, if we must.
01:22I'm going to get to the funny, but if comedy says something, it's supposed to make you uncomfortable.
01:27I mean, you're the one who always says that it doesn't have to be a lap a minute.
01:29No, I know, but it's kind of a Smith College commencement address at the moment.
01:34So sorry about that. That was the Paley Center.
01:36Unfortunately, they're not willing to move to the Who's Making Dinner event.
01:38Do they know that I won't be able to speak at it because of the gag order?
01:42Yes, but they're adamant that the anniversary event should take place on the anniversary and not, you know, nine months
01:46later.
01:47Oh. People are so dramatic about time. Why can't they just be more flexible about dates?
01:52You know, like I am, about my birthday.
01:54Not everybody is as easy to work with as you are.
01:56But look, they still want you to attend, you know, and pose for some photos.
01:59And I can circle back with your lawyer. Maybe you learning sign language is a fundipole.
02:03Oh.
02:03I know, a little.
02:04Oh.
02:06Okay.
02:06Okay. I'm sorry.
02:08That's not nice.
02:10I think she's hangry.
02:11Always.
02:11She doesn't eat.
02:12Yeah.
02:13But you, I have really good news for her.
02:15Oh.
02:15So, remember Jessica Duncan?
02:17The exec who made my bath?
02:18Yeah.
02:18Well, she got a huge new job.
02:20And guess what?
02:21What?
02:21She loved your script.
02:23You know what?
02:24She is one of the good ones. I have always liked her.
02:26Well, she wants to sit down with you.
02:27And I'm going to schedule a meeting when you're in town for the Who's Making Dinner event.
02:30Oh, my God. You are the best in the biz.
02:31I'm planning, but thank you.
02:33This thing on?
02:34Because I got a couple things to get off my chest, too.
02:37First up, these Russians.
02:38And I'm not talking about the dolls.
02:41Silence is running.
02:42This is what Debra's talking about.
02:44Oh, my God.
02:47Make my lips bigger.
02:49Barely.
02:51Whoa.
02:52We have any yard sale?
02:53Oh, the Paley Center wants some memorabilia and photos for the Who's Making Dinner exhibition.
02:58How's this?
02:59That's good.
02:59I'd give Frank some dark circles and a big, fat double chin.
03:03Cloning now?
03:05What are you doing?
03:06We're...
03:06What'd you call it?
03:07We're yassifying Debra.
03:09And we're de-yassifying Frank.
03:11I mean, if I can't speak at the event honoring my show,
03:14the least I can do is make my nasty, bastard-ass, cheating ex-husband look like shit.
03:19Not sure a media preservation nonprofit's going to love that.
03:23I'm just giving them options.
03:25Apparently, Kathy already sent some photos over.
03:27She's not going to be there.
03:29Thank God.
03:30Is this the original pilot script?
03:34Yeah.
03:36I'm sorry, how the hell did he get sole creator credit?
03:40We wrote the pilot together, and then he said,
03:44Oh, Deb, I'm just going to put my name on this first one,
03:46and then you can put yours on the second one.
03:49I was so naive, I didn't know that whoever writes the first episode
03:53from then on is considered the creator.
03:55Right.
03:56He said it was an innocent mistake, but he knew what he was doing.
04:00He never wanted me to get any credit.
04:03Now I have another bastard trying to erase me.
04:06That's why my MSG show has to be historic.
04:09Has to be record-breaking.
04:11How's this?
04:14Before and after.
04:16Amazing.
04:16That is exactly how I remember it.
04:18Wow.
04:19Oh, you think that's good?
04:20Wait till you see what she did to my grandson.
04:21Ha.
04:22No.
04:23Are you adorable?
04:24You guys can't Photoshop a baby.
04:26Yes, you can.
04:27Oh, my God.
04:28Did you snatch his waist?
04:30Oh, yes.
04:31He's so fit.
04:39I just have to say,
04:42I am so proud of the work we did together on Debra's special.
04:47I was so pissed when I saw that they took it down.
04:50It was motherfuckers.
04:52No, we, yeah, we were devastated.
04:53And what Bob Lipka did to my girl Debra?
04:56I mean, that is bullshit.
04:58Oh, completely agree.
04:59Guillotine.
05:00Thank fucking...
05:02I don't work there anymore.
05:03Mm-hmm.
05:04Oh, okay.
05:05All right.
05:05Vibe shift.
05:06Yes.
05:07Mall girl.
05:08Yeah.
05:09You know, Jimmy said that I would like your script.
05:11I didn't.
05:13I loved it!
05:17That is so nice.
05:18A modern-day retelling of The Wizard of Oz set in a 90s mall literally written for me.
05:26It's so smart.
05:31You know, see, I loved when the girl gets her ears pierced and it gets infected,
05:35and then the Hot Topic Goths have to take her to the hospital.
05:38My heart broke for her.
05:41Oh, that is...
05:42That's really nice to hear.
05:43No, it's so nuanced.
05:46It's so specific.
05:48Oh, it's so original.
05:50So obviously we can never make it.
05:53Oh.
05:54Yeah.
05:55But what else you got?
05:57That was all that I was kind of doing at the...
06:00At the mom.
06:01At the mom mall.
06:02Well, I really want your next TV show.
06:05So here's what I'm gonna do.
06:07Sight unseen, whatever you got, I will buy it.
06:09Cash advance, blind script deal.
06:10Oh my god.
06:11Really?
06:12Yeah.
06:13Could...
06:13I mean, could Mall Girl be a series?
06:16No.
06:17No.
06:17So something you're more passionate about, right, but also hits the Young Demo?
06:21Okay.
06:22Diverse, of course.
06:23Queer.
06:24Queer counts.
06:25Yes.
06:26I see you, girl.
06:26Agile Beauty AIQ+.
06:28Plus, not too political, not too poor, hard, funny.
06:32Okay.
06:33But passion first.
06:34Well, I mean, look, it's, I think for me, finding an idea that I'm immediately passionate
06:39about.
06:39Right, right.
06:40Easy as pot.
06:41Yeah.
06:41But no limited series.
06:42Yeah.
06:43Limited series, bad.
06:44Yes.
06:44Bad.
06:45Bad.
06:46Bad.
06:47Bad.
06:47Yeah.
06:48That should be easy.
06:54Just because I am not the prettiest girl you ever did see, and even if I don't have
07:06such a wonderful personality...
07:09So she didn't start as a stand-up?
07:11No.
07:12She starred in the show with her husband, and, um, you know, she got famous from the sitcom.
07:15Ah, I mean, I think she's cuter, but honestly, she's hotter now.
07:18I like the one with a little patina on them, eh?
07:20Oh, yeah.
07:21Jimmy.
07:22Beth.
07:23Oh, hi.
07:24It's so nice to finally meet you in person.
07:26Wow.
07:29Um, this is, uh, Kayla and Randy.
07:31Hi.
07:31Welcome to Pele Fest.
07:33Thanks for having us.
07:33Yeah.
07:34I had my bat mitzvah here.
07:35I'm not Jewish, but the theme was out of Paris.
07:37Yeah, it was, uh, great bat mitzvah.
07:39Um, anyway, thank you again for all your help.
07:40I know there was a lot of back and forth with all the Deborah stuff.
07:43It is literally my pleasure, and I actually remember that you are a coffee snob.
07:47I'm guilty.
07:48So I just got you a cold brew.
07:50That is so nice.
07:52Well, cold brew is like sex, even when it's bad.
07:56I'm grateful.
07:57Whoa.
07:57So true.
07:58Um, mm-hmm.
08:00Yeah.
08:01No, but seriously, the coffee here is just dog shit.
08:03But welcome to the non-profit world.
08:05You know what I mean?
08:05I'm like, take me with you, please.
08:09Wish we could, you know?
08:10Uh, we are downsizing.
08:11God, stop.
08:12I'm talking to someone.
08:14I have to take this, but I will find you in a little bit.
08:16Okay, cool.
08:17Bye.
08:18Thank you again.
08:19Cheers.
08:20Okay.
08:23Wow.
08:24What is going on?
08:26What?
08:26You're being sexual at work.
08:29You're never like that.
08:30I mean, it was like watching two jail rats ratting up the bathroom.
08:33What are you talking about?
08:34You were laughing at her voices.
08:36You were like, ah, ah, ah, ah.
08:37What?
08:37We were just being...
08:38That wasn't even the best voice.
08:39I mean, it was kind of funny, but not anything like my Jamaican accent.
08:42We retired your Jamaican accent after what happened with that waiter.
08:44And I was just being nice.
08:45We've been emailing each other for months, you know?
08:47Your email's first base.
08:48I mean, the last person I emailed, we ended up fucking Jimmy.
08:51Oh, my God.
08:52The HVAC guy?
08:53Ew, no.
08:54Exterminator.
08:55You slept with Adnan?
08:56Yeah.
08:57Whatever.
08:57My emails were strictly professional.
08:59I don't know.
09:00I was on those emails, boss, and you were using a lot of exclamation marks,
09:04which, for a man, is the equivalent of exposing his genitals.
09:07Whatever.
09:08I was just being friendly.
09:09Oh, yeah?
09:10Is it friendly to have your tits out?
09:11Button up, slut.
09:13Do you want me to lay that pipe down?
09:14I'm telling you.
09:16You really think so?
09:17I mean, that's flattering.
09:17I never get cruised, but...
09:19She was wearing a wedding ring.
09:20She's married.
09:21Who cares?
09:21You never had sex with a married person?
09:23Not that I know of.
09:24Have you?
09:25Yeah, I just told you.
09:26Adnan.
09:27Who cares?
09:28It's L.A.
09:28I mean, 90% of the marriages are open,
09:30and the other 10% heading for divorce,
09:32because they tried being open.
09:32Hmm, not my fault.
09:34All right.
09:34I think you two are really over-exaggerating, okay?
09:37Hmm, we'll do it.
09:38All right.
09:38We'll see what happens.
09:40You're a coffee.
09:41I'm on this.
09:41They can keep together.
09:43Yeah, so now I just have to come up with a premise for a show.
09:46And you know what's always been interesting to me?
09:48The woman in urgent care who comes in before the doctor.
09:52She's not a nurse, you know?
09:53She's something else.
09:55Like, what if I told her story?
09:57Very compelling.
09:58I know, right?
10:01Oh, my God.
10:03Wow.
10:04You know, it's so cool that something you made so long ago
10:08is being celebrated like this.
10:09Well, it endured because it was important.
10:11It said something.
10:12That's what I've been saying I want my NSG show to do.
10:15Totally, totally, totally.
10:24The oven line, that was so good.
10:26You liked it?
10:27Yeah, you wrote it too, right?
10:29Did I write that one?
10:30You know you did.
10:31Oh, yeah, I did.
10:32Okay.
10:34Check out this hottie.
10:37Oh, yeah.
10:39Gino.
10:40He was wonderful.
10:42He died of AIDS.
10:43He was so young.
10:45Can you imagine being me in this situation?
10:46I point to a photo of a hot guy and you're like,
10:48he died of AIDS?
10:49Just lie to me, you maniac.
10:52But I'm sorry for your loss.
10:55Yeah, stop.
11:02He's lucky he's dead or there'd be a bullet with his name on it.
11:06Uh-huh.
11:10Where are you going?
11:11Go find a martini with my name on it.
11:18My dentist is such a pervert.
11:20And she's a girl.
11:21Ah.
11:25Shit.
11:26I think you guys are right.
11:27I think that she might be interested.
11:30You're not going to feel bad for you.
11:31You're basically bragging.
11:32No, I'm not bragging.
11:33Okay, she's coming.
11:33She's coming.
11:34She's coming.
11:34Showtime.
11:36She's here.
11:39Hey.
11:39Hello, Beth.
11:40Um, I reserved a seat for you up front, next to me.
11:44Oh, wow.
11:45Uh, thank you so much.
11:46But you know what?
11:46I think I'm just going to do my own thing and bop around.
11:49Hmm.
11:49During the screening?
11:51Mm-hmm.
11:52Because it'll be dark.
11:53So you're going to have to climb over the people sitting down.
11:56He gets restless leg syndrome in the middle of the day.
11:59Yeah, yeah.
11:59I think it's good to just keep it moving.
12:01You know, get my steps in.
12:02Get the circulation going.
12:04Sorry.
12:04Oh, don't step on that.
12:05Sorry.
12:06Oh, oh, oh.
12:06Ow!
12:07Oh, jeez!
12:08Oh, my God.
12:08I'm so sorry.
12:10She ran right into me.
12:11She came out of nowhere.
12:12Can people just give her some space?
12:13Jesus.
12:14Give her a little bit of space.
12:15Are you seeing this?
12:16My pelvis!
12:17Jimmy, are you there?
12:18Can you hold my hand?
12:19Wait, what?
12:19My pelvis!
12:20Look, she's fine.
12:21She's fine.
12:22Oh, my God.
12:24Perfect.
12:24Kittle one martini, two all those little dirty.
12:36Thanks, Marsha.
12:40And now it's just Friday, right?
12:42So imagine what I did under there.
12:44It's just a lot.
12:44Yeah.
12:45If you were there, you could have protected me.
12:47Here's your martini, ma'am.
12:50I can't tell you, right?
12:50Eddie fucking Bean is here.
12:52Yeah?
12:52He's like my favorite tractor from when I was a kid.
12:55This is a little before your time, no?
12:57No.
12:57What are you talking about?
12:58I grew up on Nick at Night.
13:00Bewitched was the closest thing we had to drag race back then.
13:02Well, I'll introduce you.
13:03He's a doll.
13:05Eddie.
13:06Excuse me.
13:07Debbie, wow.
13:08I didn't know you were going to be here.
13:09Of course.
13:10Who wouldn't miss it?
13:11Hi.
13:12So glad to see you.
13:13This is Ava.
13:14Ava Daniels.
13:14Eddie Bean.
13:15How's it going?
13:16I'm such a huge fan.
13:17My Tinder bio used to be your quote about the power of story.
13:20I didn't meet my soulmate, but a bunch of people did ask me to read their scripts.
13:24And that's something.
13:25Sure.
13:26Eddie directed the pilot of Who's Making Good.
13:28Of course.
13:28I watched my whole career.
13:29So basically, you owe me 10% of everything you've got.
13:32Yeah.
13:32Oh, Deb.
13:34Glad to see you still have your sense of humor.
13:36I'm just glad to see you're out.
13:39I heard about the breakdown.
13:42And I have a friend who has the mental troubles.
13:45It's rough stuff.
13:47Thank you, Eddie.
13:48It means a lot.
13:49Oh, did you hear?
13:51They're going to show some new footage of Frank tonight.
13:54Excuse me?
13:54Yeah, an unaired interview.
13:59I'm so glad Frank's being allowed to speak.
14:01Wish I could say the same for Joan of Arc.
14:04She's doing a lot of research on Joan of Arc right now for comedy.
14:10Hmm.
14:11Funny.
14:13Hard tip.
14:14Take care.
14:19I always hated that guy.
14:21Yeah.
14:21He thinks I have mental problems.
14:23He is clearly in cognitive decline.
14:25Yeah.
14:25And his prostate's probably the size of a cantaloupe.
14:28Deborah, can we get some photos with you?
14:30Absolutely.
14:31Great.
14:32Like this one?
14:33A pastry?
14:34Oh, no, thank you.
14:36I've been pretty weird with dairy ever since this guy sawed me in half.
14:41Hey, can I ask you something?
14:43Um, would you watch a show about Gator Raiders?
14:45And like, maybe like every episode takes place at a different event?
14:48Like Party Down.
14:49Really great show.
14:50Great.
14:52Ideas.
14:53Ideas.
14:54Something in a dome?
14:55Shit.
14:56Under the dome.
14:57Fuck, everything's been done.
14:58Every single thing.
14:59Can you take a picture of someone for me?
15:01Oh, sure.
15:01Jimmy.
15:02Oh, hi.
15:03Can I get a photo of you two?
15:05Yeah, sure.
15:09Yeah.
15:10Oh, my God.
15:10I cannot wait to get home and rip off this microthong.
15:13But it's still there.
15:14My fat ass is eating it up.
15:16Okay, Beth.
15:17I think I need to clear the air, all right?
15:19I've clearly misled you, and we need to keep things professional,
15:21because I'm just not in a place for a relationship right now.
15:24I'm married, so.
15:26I know, and I can't do the open thing, all right?
15:28It's just not for me.
15:28I'm not stigmatizing it.
15:29It's just, I wouldn't be a good third, you know?
15:31My needs are too big.
15:32Yeah, I'm not open, and I'm not interested in you like that, so.
15:38Oh, well, good.
15:40I mean, or I guess not good, but I just, I'm sorry.
15:43Oh, my God, this is a little bit inappropriate.
15:44I'm like, ooh.
15:45Okay, oh, I'm sorry.
15:46I just was picking up a vibe.
15:47You know, you're being, like, incredibly nice, and...
15:50It's kind of my job to be incredibly nice, you know?
15:53Sure, but your job is really to coordinate events that preserve television history, right?
15:57You don't have to be that nice.
15:58You can just be cordial, or you can be rude, even, you know?
16:01We'll certainly keep that in mind moving forward.
16:04Not a problem.
16:05Okay, great.
16:06Well, I'm glad we talked.
16:07Me too, and, um, yeah, if you need any coffee, just help yourself to the crap over there.
16:13I'm not sure if it's been sitting all day, but...
16:15Beth, don't, don't do that.
16:16Beth!
16:19Not into you, boss.
16:20I know that.
16:21You told me she was into me.
16:23You two are both, like, she's drooling, boss, you said?
16:25We were sniffing each other like rats.
16:27What is this compulsive me for honesty?
16:30I didn't think you were going to say anything.
16:31That was so weird.
16:32Oh, my God!
16:52Thank you so much.
16:53Wow.
16:53Thank you to the network, everyone who supported the show and gave us a chance.
16:57Thank you to Debra Vance.
16:59Debra, I love you.
17:00Thank you to my entire team at William & Morris, Sheila.
17:03Ladies and gentlemen, welcome.
17:06Welcome.
17:06We are so proud to be celebrating the 50th anniversary of the groundbreaking sitcom,
17:12Who's Making Dinner?
17:16We are so lucky to have so many writers and cast here today,
17:21especially the incomparable Debra Vance.
17:30Hope you're all enjoying the exhibition.
17:31I want to take a moment to thank our partner brands.
17:34The arts would be nothing without you.
17:36Okay, before we get to our screening,
17:39we have a special announcement.
17:41As of today, stage 15 on the Warner Brothers lot,
17:46where every episode of Who's Making Dinner was filmed in front of a live audience,
17:51in addition to the many iconic game shows that Frank went on to produce,
17:55will be officially renamed the Frank Vance Stage.
18:02Frank Vance will forever be enshrined in Hollywood history.
18:06Well, please enjoy more past saps, courtesy of TJ Maxx and Duolingo,
18:10and we will see you shortly in the theater.
18:13I cannot believe this.
18:15He's upstaging me even from down the grave.
18:18I don't think he's upstaging you.
18:19They are literally putting him up on a stage.
18:23Here.
18:27Hey.
18:29I want to introduce the screening.
18:31If Frank's allowed to speak, then I want to speak too.
18:33I get that, but you definitely can't.
18:34They're live streaming it.
18:36Then get them to turn off the stream.
18:38I thought you said you had a contact here.
18:42If the people are on the right marks, then we're fucked.
18:44So if you could just make sure that doesn't happen, that would be wonderful.
18:46It's going to be Beth.
18:49Hello.
18:50Hmm.
18:51Okay.
18:52You mind if I ask you a really quick favor?
18:53Well, I wouldn't want to give you the wrong impression, right?
18:56And do any special favors for you?
18:58And I appreciate that.
18:59I respect that.
19:00It's actually, you know what?
19:01It's not for me.
19:01It's for Debra Vance.
19:03Debra would like to speak, introduce the screening, and she's legally prohibited from
19:06doing that.
19:07So if you could just turn off the live stream camera just briefly, just while she's up there.
19:10Mmm.
19:11Can't do that.
19:12Please, please.
19:13I am begging you.
19:14The answer's no.
19:15See?
19:16This is why I don't get into romantic relationships with work colleagues.
19:19We were not in a romantic relationship.
19:20Beth, I don't have time to get into our history and relitigate this.
19:23All right?
19:23We both know what happened.
19:24Can you just please do it?
19:26No.
19:28Fuck.
19:31You know what?
19:33When you were dating Jimmy, I really thought we could be friends.
19:36But now I know you're just another selfish blonde, aren't you?
19:40You're a bitch.
19:43Jimmy!
19:46Stop.
19:46Stop looking at that.
19:47I know I'm not on the list.
19:48I'm just going to speak for a second.
19:49It's okay.
19:49It's okay.
19:50Tell them Debra Vance said it was okay.
19:51It's okay.
19:52Debra, wait.
19:53Wait.
19:53I tried, but they won't turn the cameras off.
19:56I'm sorry.
19:57Look, even if I look because people don't see it, as we've experienced, someone could just
20:00leak it anyway.
20:00I really don't think you should do this.
20:02I'm not just doing this for me.
20:04I'm doing this for all women who have been silenced.
20:10How?
20:12Thank you all so much for coming tonight.
20:15You know, we may not have figured out who's making dinner, but we figured out who's getting
20:18all the credit.
20:19Frank Vance.
20:21Oh, no, I know.
20:22That's not fair.
20:23I tried to stop it, but I couldn't.
20:26Frank gave me a lot of credit.
20:28Becky gave me solo credit for that house fire.
20:30You remember that one, y'all?
20:33Y'all's back.
20:35The only woman who knows fire better than I do is my sister in the struggle, Joan of Arc.
20:40I was told not to speak tonight, but at least Joan got to scream when she was burned at the
20:44stake.
20:46Lucky bitch.
20:50Did I ever mention that Frank's family had slaves?
20:55Nasty stuff.
21:00Okay, let's roll that clip.
21:11Deborah, stop sulking.
21:13They won't let you get a credit card.
21:14You can just use mine.
21:15No.
21:16I'm going to tell them I'm...
21:20Mr. Danny Vanceatore.
21:25That's funny.
21:25I always thought I'd be the one who's water broke.
21:28Deborah, why are you dressed like a man?
21:30Well, if the bank won't let a woman open a credit card because it doesn't see me as a
21:33full person.
21:34You're going to force them?
21:35How about that?
21:36Not even five minutes being a man, and already I'm forcing people against their will.
21:41Yeah, this was today.
21:42You need four roommates to afford those house.
21:44Yeah.
21:44You remember roommates?
21:46No, I actually have roommates.
21:47I have to live alone because I have bathroom stuff.
21:50Is that an idea for a show?
21:52Bathroom stuff?
21:53Like someone who lives alone?
21:54No, it's sad.
21:55No.
21:56It's something based on this where, like, I don't know, where, like, their grandkid
22:01inherits this house and then has a bunch of roommates.
22:03It's about, like, chosen family.
22:05That's what I'm going to say.
22:06You know, reboots are really sellable.
22:08Existing IP is very, very good.
22:10It could actually be about something, you know?
22:12They could be grappling with the fact that, like, our generation is, like, never going
22:15to find the success that our parents found.
22:16But, like, what does that success mean?
22:18And, like, how do we redefine it?
22:19You know what I mean?
22:20Like, community building, like, downward mobility.
22:22Yeah, but funny.
22:23Yeah.
22:24I think that's really good.
22:26I think if you can do a read with us about something, that could be excellent.
22:29You should definitely flush it out and pitch it to Jessica.
22:32Debra doesn't have the rights, though.
22:33That's okay.
22:34I'll look into it.
22:35Okay.
22:36Okay.
22:37I like that.
22:38I think it's good.
22:39So, do you need something, Gina, or?
22:40I got myself in a mess.
22:42Oh, okay.
22:46Frank, thank you so much for sitting with us.
22:58Well, you know, we weren't trying to be groundbreaking.
23:02We were making a show about our relationship.
23:07And the only reason people even paid attention to it was because it was funny.
23:13And you two had never worked in TV before.
23:15So, how did you know that what you were making was funny?
23:19Because of Debra.
23:23Debra was the funny one.
23:28She was always the funniest person in any room.
23:40And as you transitioned into producing game shows, what was your inspiration for...
24:00Hey.
24:03You okay?
24:07No.
24:08Yeah.
24:10Because you bombed super hard.
24:12It was rough.
24:13No.
24:15That's what Frank said.
24:20But he said you were the funny one.
24:22I feel like that would be nice to hear, no?
24:24It was.
24:25That's the problem.
24:30It's been...
24:31It's been 50 fucking years.
24:34Why do I still need to hear that?
24:38Why should I care about what some kid who I met when I was 18 years old thinks about me?
24:44It's pathetic.
24:47Yeah.
24:48I mean, I get that.
24:51Sometimes there's just one person we want to impress.
24:59Yeah.
25:00I have to ask.
25:03What was the mess that Gina was getting into in that episode?
25:08Is there chaos?
25:09Did hijinks ensue?
25:11We didn't get to find out.
25:13I'll tell you if I can.
25:14Oh, my gosh.
25:23Oh, my God.
25:24I always want to be like, you don't have to run.
25:26There's no rush.
25:27I like it when they run.
25:30Deborah Vance.
25:32Yes?
25:33I've got to call.
25:33You violated a restraining order tonight.
25:35I need you to come with us.
25:36Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
25:38Nope.
25:38You're actually going to arrest me?
25:39Yep.
25:40I'm sorry.
25:41She wasn't even funny tonight.
25:42That was barely even comedy.
25:44Let's go.
25:45No.
25:45Yes.
25:46No.
25:46Do you know where I keep my bail cash?
25:49Yeah, in Vegas.
25:50It's underneath the bathroom sink.
25:51But where is it in L.A.?
25:53Deborah, where is it in L.A.?
25:55Call Josefina.
25:57Watch the hair.
25:59What?
26:00Fuck shit.
26:02Yo, L.A.
26:04Pick up the paint.
26:12What are you in for?
26:16Stand-up comedy.
26:18You?
26:20Shoplifting from Macy's.
26:22Oh.
26:23That's really wrong.
26:24You're going to shoplift.
26:25Make a Neiman Marcus.
26:33What are you in for?
26:35I, uh, I got a DUI.
26:37Oh, honey.
26:39Better get you an Uber account.
26:41At least a pair of rollerblades.
26:43Jesus.
26:46You know, it's not my first time in jail.
26:47I mean, I, uh, was an actor jail once.
26:50I did a Lifetime movie called A Prayer for Mommy's Slippers.
26:54I was guilty for not running when I heard the title.
27:04Hi, I'm here for Diverdance.
27:08Is that enough?
27:10That's right.
27:11That's right.
27:11I've been cuffed before.
27:12They usually involve some boundaries and a safe word.
27:16Oh, she now is so afraid.
27:20Diverdance.
27:21Made bad.
27:22Oh, that's my time.
27:27Oh, hey.
27:28Can I bail out my friends here?
27:29You got the cash.
27:31All right.
27:31What do you need?
27:32What do you need?
27:32$500 for me.
27:33$8,000.
27:33$20,000.
27:34Damn.
27:35What did you do?
27:36I punched up these fours.
27:38Oh, Jesus.
27:39Come on.
27:39Let's go.
27:40Let's go.
27:43So how was it in there?
27:44Was it bad?
27:45It was amazing.
27:48Really?
27:49Frank was right.
27:50Don't walk.
27:51The only reason that people paid attention to Who's Making Dinner is because it was funny.
27:55But that's what I need to be focusing on with my garden show.
27:58It doesn't need to be important.
28:00It just needs to be funny.
28:03Yeah.
28:04I mean, I feel like I said that, but then a man said it louder, but it's okay.
28:08I'll just repress it and make me funnier in the long run.
28:11I'm sorry I didn't listen.
28:13I have just been consumed by my anger.
28:17I didn't see the forest for the trees.
28:19I mean, what people are going to remember is if I made them laugh.
28:24Yes.
28:24Exactly what I was saying.
28:25Love.
28:26Yeah.
28:26Great.
28:27Yeah.
28:28Hey, who's hungry?
28:30Yeah.
28:31Okay.
28:31Let's go to Norm's.
28:32I want to try out more material.
28:34Okay.
28:35That's a good idea.
28:35Yeah.
28:36You know, it's been a real pleasure sharing an open toilet with you ladies.
28:40But Bethany, I'm a little concerned about the color of your peep.
28:43I know.
28:44Good.
28:44Good.
28:45Good.
28:45Yeah.
28:46Yeah.
28:55Woo.
28:56Woo.
28:57Woo.
29:01Woo.
29:02Oh, oh, oh
29:35Oh, oh, oh
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