- 2 hours ago
Hacks Season 5 Episode 1
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Let me see you at home
00:06Let me ask you to come
00:12Let us close you
00:16Let me see you
00:26Oh my God, look at that!
00:36She has risen!
00:38Oh no!
00:40I wasn't her dad, TMZ got a bad tip
00:43They issued a retraction this morning
00:45But they said they carried your body off a boat in Singapore and you didn't make it
00:48What?
00:49They said they carried your body off a boat in Singapore and you didn't make it
00:54No, no, no, I didn't make it to the hospital
00:59I came to in the ambulance, I had them reroute me to my hotel
01:04Hallelujah!
01:05Jesus!
01:06We didn't want to believe it but it made sense because of your, you know, your, your breakdown
01:13My breakdown?
01:14Yeah, at late night, it was all over the news that you went cuckoo
01:25Never Vance is alive!
01:42Motherfuckers!
01:43These headlines are horrible!
01:45How Debra Vance lost her way and lost late night in the process
01:49Oh, diva down!
01:50Talk show host's bizarre behavior raises serious concerns!
01:54Ever since you went to Singapore, Bob Lipka has been smearing you in the press
01:58But I defended you in all the comments with my burner at Joyce Goldblood Chang
02:02Oh my god, Debra Vance is on air break
02:05Why they cut the feed before her meltdown
02:07What?
02:07That's a bad one
02:08Oh, once an arsonist, always an arsonist
02:10Debra Vance burns down late night?
02:12God, I knew that social media detox was gonna bite me in the ass
02:16First, I was tagged in some very unflattering photos
02:19Now this?
02:20There are hundreds of these!
02:21World Articles calling me a free speech warrior
02:24Well, there were some positive ones, but they've been buried
02:26Of course!
02:27Because that bastard owns almost every news outlet
02:29Oh my god
02:30I think we've all read the stories
02:32Speaking of
02:33Yeah, it's tragic
02:34Of course, I wish Debra had spoken to us first
02:36But hey, it is a tough gig
02:38Oh
02:39Not everyone's built for it
02:41We all just hope she gets well
02:43Gets well?
02:44Gets well?
02:44Gets well?
02:46No wonder the obituary was so bad
02:48They needed someone to blame, so they blamed me, the crazy lady
02:51It's a fucking house fire all over again
02:54We need to sue, okay?
02:56And we need to get these websites to issue a retraction
02:58Oh, that's good
02:59No, damage is already done
03:01Fuck
03:02We need to shift the narrative
03:04With something bigger than all of this
03:06Like what?
03:08I'll figure something out
03:16So how you guys been?
03:17Good
03:18I think we should do a couple of costumes for Halloween
03:23Well, what are you thinking?
03:25Bart and Lisa or...
03:26Knock knock!
03:27Hey
03:28May I?
03:29Sure
03:31Regret to inform you that Jeff Dunham is signing elsewhere
03:35Oh
03:36Fuck!
03:37But the meeting went so well
03:38I even got along with a stupid ass puppet
03:40All of our meetings go well
03:41And then they find out we can't do business with Bob Lipka's companies and they ghost us
03:44Well, it doesn't help that our client list is older female losing bone density by the minute, Jimmy
03:49You don't have to tell me twice
03:50We lost two clients to Bad Falls this month alone
03:52It's sad, and I don't want to visit the hospital again
03:55Parking is a nightmare
03:56I didn't want to tell you this, but we lost Lassie
04:00The dog signed somewhere else?
04:02No, I mean we literally lost her
04:03She ran away
04:04And she's not fixed, Jimmy
04:06She's probably taking loads from every pity from here to Santa Clarita, stupid whore
04:09All right, look, I know this isn't popular
04:10No one's going to want to hear this
04:12But I think we should revisit the conversation about downsizing this office
04:14No! We're not downsizing
04:17Don't make me say that again
04:19Kayla, the office, the rent, the phones, the insurance
04:22It costs $30,000 a month to be here
04:23It's worth it
04:25We're projecting success to the industry
04:27I mean, there's already nasty gossip going around about us ever since you beat the shit out of Bob Lipka
04:31I didn't beat the shit out of him
04:32I just knocked his phone out of his hand
04:33We had a little scuffle
04:34The assistant slack is still abuzz, boss
04:36Not good
04:37If we move now, it's a death bill
04:41Okay, fine
04:42It's Damien
04:43Says Debra wants to have lunch in Vegas this afternoon
04:45Oh my god, the last minute plates are going to be so expensive
04:47This is what I'm talking about
04:48Do you know what's free?
04:49The BMW
04:50Which I just had vacuumed
04:52It's spotless
04:53You could eat an omakasi off the dash
04:55Sure, but if we're going to drive and be there by lunch, we've got to go, now
04:57Road trip
04:58I'll drive, don't worry, I just got my license
05:00Just?
05:01Shotgun!
05:02Okay, I guess I'll sit in the back of my own car
05:11Wake up!
05:14I figured it out
05:15What time is it?
05:16Actually, what day is it?
05:17Every obituary leads with a person's greatest achievement or failure
05:21That's why I need a win
05:22A legacy-defining win that they cannot spend
05:25Okay
05:25I refuse to be remembered on other people's terms
05:28As a quitter or the person who killed late night
05:31Or some hysterical woman
05:32I have worked too hard and I have fought far too long
05:35I will be remembered for my accomplishments
05:37Yes
05:38So I have decided
05:41To EGOT
05:44Uh, EGOT?
05:45Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony
05:46Oh, I know
05:47Well, actually, I didn't
05:48I thought the G was for Golden Globe
05:50But I...
05:50I love that
05:52I love that!
05:53Oh, good!
05:54I...
05:54I kind of assumed you'd think it was crazy
05:56No!
05:56I think it'd be crazy if you did not do that
05:59Right?
06:00Great!
06:00Come on, get up!
06:01We're having lunch with the team!
06:02Now!
06:03Lunch?
06:03I'm still on Singapore Standard Time
06:08Midnight Smack could be good
06:22That's right!
06:23It's me!
06:23I'm alive!
06:24It's hard, but it's worth it
06:27I mean, I know EGOT is ambitious
06:29But I'm already halfway there
06:30I have a daytime Emmy for hosting The Gungle
06:33Yes!
06:34Oh my God, I'm sorry
06:35Yeah
06:35Wait, what?
06:36Oh, Bgongle was a game show on the USA Network in 1992
06:39Where celebrities played Boggle on a constantly shaking floor
06:43So funny
06:43And I already have my Tony for producing
06:45And post-coital haze, Eric Idle convinced me to put some money in his famalot
06:49Anyway, I already have my T and my E
06:52So now I need you to get me my O
06:55O?
06:57Well, O was for Oscar
06:58No, I know what O stands for
07:00I just meant O like a reaction
07:01Oh, that's crazy
07:02Wow!
07:03Anyway, Debra, I'm gonna have to review your contract
07:05Because I have to see what you can even do legally
07:09Busman, permission to speak?
07:11Sure
07:11Now, the network paid out Debra's contract
07:13And they did it all through her exclusivity clause
07:15Not the non-compete
07:16Technically, she can't do anything scripted or paid
07:18TV, film, no new media, they control her socials
07:21No live public performances
07:23And the contract specifies Florida law governs
07:26And because Debra already signed her injunctive relief clause
07:28If she violates the contract
07:29They can come out of her with a restraining order
07:30Or worse
07:32You memorized all that?
07:34Ininvertently, I mean
07:35Someone recently told me they thought I was autistic
07:37That was me this morning
07:38Oh, yeah
07:40Anyway, she can technically still film something now
07:42As long as it's not released until the non-compete is over
07:44I like this young man
07:46The thing about an Oscar is
07:47No, no, Jimmy
07:47It's not that difficult
07:49I mean, award voters love it when funny people go dead serious
07:52Yes
07:53Just find me my Monique moment
07:55Well, I can set you up on some girls
07:56Oh, no, onto the grounds
07:57Tragically, I have been nominated for my stand-up record seven times
08:00I have never won
08:01Seven?
08:02I think it was seven
08:02Mm-hmm
08:03Not advanced in hell
08:04Under the knife over the drama
08:06Live at the Mall of America
08:08The Lester Diaries
08:09Live for Your Diet
08:10The Death Commandments
08:12And the best things in life are at Sears
08:14This different bands live sponsored by Sears
08:16So, yeah, seven
08:17Robbed
08:18Now, I know I can't do stand-up right now
08:20So I'm taking a different route
08:21I'm gonna compete in the best audio book category
08:23By recording my memoir
08:25You wrote a memoir?
08:26That's great
08:26Well, no, not yet
08:27But I happen to know the best writer in the world
08:31Oh
08:31Tony Kirshner
08:34Hey, what about me?
08:35You can't write my memoir
08:36You're too obsessed with me
08:37It's cool
08:38I gave up on developing my prose skills
08:40When I realized Gen Alpha can't read
08:42All right, everybody, let's go
08:43G-O stands for Grammy, Oscar
08:46Yeah
08:46I'm not scared
08:48Woo!
08:49A Grammy and an Oscar?
08:51Ava
08:51No, I know, okay?
08:53But you don't understand how bad it got in Singapore
08:55She was sleeping all day
08:56She was drinking till noon
08:57Jimmy, she wore Crocs in public
08:59Did the Crocs have a heel?
09:00No
09:02But she keeps her heels on during surgery
09:04Yeah, so that's why whatever she wants to do
09:06We need to get on board, okay?
09:08Okay, yeah
09:09And you know what?
09:10I guess she has done crazier things, right?
09:11Yes, of course
09:13She can do anything
09:14We can do anything
09:16Speaking of which
09:16I need you to write and sell a huge international hit that has potential for sequels
09:20Can you do that?
09:21I...
09:21Look, I would never normally pressure a client to help our firm financially
09:25But we really need it
09:27We've had a tough few months
09:30Jimmy, she gave up the show for me
09:31You know, I have to stay and help her
09:33I'm sorry
09:33No, no, no, I get that
09:35Actually, I did finish my Mall Girl script in Singapore
09:38I could send you that
09:39Amazing
09:39Okay, great
09:40You send me that
09:41And I guess I'll go get Deborah an Academy Award
09:46Perfect
09:47Great to see you
09:53Mr. Kushner
09:55I just want to say
09:56It's such an honor to observe the writing process of one of my heroes
10:00I mean, Angels in America was just, yeah, so formative for me
10:03Oh, that's sweet
10:04She's just shadowing, so feel free to ignore her, I often do
10:07Oh
10:09So, Tony, where do we start?
10:11I'm thinking a chapter a day, 15 chapters
10:13We should be able to wrap this up in two weeks, easy
10:15Uh, we're gonna need far longer than that
10:18I really believe in an immersive process
10:20Oh
10:22Okay
10:23Well, I don't tend to love those whiny childhood parts of most celebrity memoirs
10:29But then again, I was a very strong child
10:31I held up my own head at three months old
10:34My little blonde head
10:35Oh, wow
10:36I know
10:37Oh, that would make a great opening sentence
10:39Quote
10:39I was born blonde
10:41I actually want to start way before that
10:45Since your people descend from Scotland
10:47I've been reading The Lion in the North
10:50One thousand years of Scotland's history
10:53Did you know that your eighth great grandfather was a prominent figure in the Battle of Glenfruin?
11:00I didn't
11:00It's really fascinating stuff
11:03It starts with the McGregor clan
11:04They were in a feud with the Coughlin clan
11:06Over cattle thefts and land thefts
11:08It's like the beginning of the 17th century
11:10When James VI, who was a big homo
11:13Moved to England to become James I
11:16And it was the start of the Jacobean era
11:18And there was a celebration for DJI
11:19Bye
11:23Okay, what if Debra produces a documentary short?
11:28That's gotta be an easy category, right?
11:29There's no way Debra's getting into that category this year
11:32I mean, do you see how many ongoing wars we have going on right now?
11:35There's at least a nominee coming out of each
11:38Unless Debra wants to drag a film crew through the Congo
11:41It's not happening
11:42God, this is impossible
11:43It is
11:44Is it though?
11:45Because correct me if I'm wrong
11:46There already is a movie with early Oscar buzz
11:48That Debra has a connection to
11:50Which one?
11:51The Fatty Arbuckle movie, Jimmy
11:52The one you're producing
11:54Hello
11:54Hi, yeah, no
11:55That's the only project we have without Debra or a rabid dog attached
11:59Absolutely not, no
12:00And dare I say I'm proud of my work on it
12:01Thank you very much
12:03It's an awards season dream
12:04I mean, it's a biopic
12:06It's got famous actors playing a games type
12:08It's a period piece, it's got everything
12:09She just needs a small part
12:11Do you know that Beatrice Strait won the Oscar for Network
12:13Despite having only five minutes of screen time?
12:16Five minutes!
12:17I didn't know that
12:18I had no idea
12:18But it doesn't matter, we're already finished shooting
12:19Don't we have to do reshoots?
12:21No, we are doing additional photography
12:22Reshoots?
12:23We are doing additional photography
12:24It is different than a reshoot
12:25Christopher Plummer was nominated for a performance
12:29Done entirely within additional photography
12:31Thank you
12:32Wow, how do you know all this stuff?
12:34Once I started learning about Hollywood
12:35I couldn't stop
12:36Such a fascinating mix of culture and business and art and history
12:40It's America
12:41I mean, maybe if she was Australian I could see it
12:45But, no, look
12:47The Arbuckle movie is the only thing that's going well for her firm
12:50I can't mess it up
12:50Alright, whatever you say
12:52Maybe she could learn sound mixing and rise to the top of her field in the next two weeks
12:57The worst idea I've ever heard
12:59Hey, there are no bad ideas, but
13:01No, it's okay, I probably shouldn't say anything
13:04Fuck!
13:05You've got to be more sensitive to her, okay?
13:07Kayla
13:08Honey, it's okay
13:09You know what?
13:10There are no bad ideas in a brainstorm
13:11And it's really hard to get an Oscar
13:12They're trying to break up our homes
13:15But God met the child that's got his own
13:20Okay, so today, let's start with high school
13:22I was gorgeous, smart, and popular
13:24College, same
13:25Now that's when Frank came in
13:27Before we get into that, let me just play you something
13:31Nice today, shivering in my pajamas
13:34I think this is the soundtrack for the first chapter of the book
13:39Books don't have soundtracks
13:41No, the soundtrack I'll listen to while I write that section of your life
13:45Oh my God, that is such a cool way to do it
13:48God, when I write, I just change out of my sleep pajamas to my daytime pajamas
13:53Maybe close your eyes to really feel it?
13:58I-I don't know
13:59I have a Pulitzer
14:01Oh, wow
14:07This does feel good
14:08Right? She gets it
14:12Is that all
14:14Oh, I love this song
14:18Hi, Tony
14:19Is that all there is?
14:24Is that all there is?
14:28If that's all there is, my friends
14:32Then let's keep dancing
14:36Oh, Freddy
14:38I can't be alone
14:40I wish I could hold you just one more time
14:48I can't believe I'm saying this, but Debra actually would be better for this part
14:51Uh, yeah, anybody would
14:53Let's cut
14:53Cutting!
14:55I'm sorry guys, I'm really having trouble accessing emotions today
14:58No, no, no, darling, you're doing fantastic, we love it
15:03I hate it
15:03I hate it, she's so bad
15:04Yeah, she's been horrible all day
15:06Do you think that maybe she'd be better if we put peanut butter on the roof of her mouth?
15:11What? We recently did the last reboot, she's kidding I think
15:13I'm not kidding
15:14I hope
15:15Look, I hate to say this, but I do think we should recast her
15:18You do?
15:19That's a good idea
15:20I mean, this movie's about a comedian, right?
15:22And it's leaning a little maudlin
15:23I think you should put a comedian in the role, right?
15:27What about Debra Vance?
15:30It's an interesting idea
15:31Does she act at all?
15:32Are you kidding? She was the lead of Who's Making Dinner?
15:34Groundbreaking sitcom in the 70s?
15:35Oh, wow
15:36She's great in that
15:36And you know what is crazy? Her story is exactly like Fatty's
15:39I mean, she was cast aside by the public, she was maligned
15:41But then she rose from the ashes
15:42It's actually really good for the narrative, and I think she'd be amazing in the part
15:45That was very inspiring, Kayla
15:46It's a great idea
15:47I just totally came up with it
15:48Didn't she go crazy or something recently?
15:50No, no, no, that was a coordinated smear campaign that is absolutely false
15:53I can tell you, Esme, all those things you've read
15:55Something not true
15:56She's sassier than ever
15:57Okay, great, I love it, let's do it
15:59Okay
16:00Awesome
16:00And you have to fire Esme because I'm not good at being direct with people
16:04You're a director
16:05I know
16:07Okay
16:07Great
16:09Cool
16:09Moving on, everyone
16:10All right, moving on
16:13God, I can't believe you're recording the book already
16:16Oh, no, no, the book's not happening
16:18I fired Kushner
16:19You fired Tony Kushner?
16:21Hmm?
16:21No, Deborah
16:23God
16:24I was gonna slowly develop a relationship with him over the course of years
16:27And then eventually ask him to read my script and he was gonna love it
16:30You know how it is with men
16:31If they're not moving at your pace
16:33It just gets boring and painful after a while
16:35Okay, so why are we in a recording studio then?
16:38I had McKinsey run the numbers to see if I could still get a Grammy this year
16:42Deborah, we talked about you not using McKinsey
16:45You said I could do it if it was for a good cause
16:47No, I didn't
16:48Well, it is and I did
16:51Apparently it is an incredibly weak year for one Grammy category
16:55Regional Mexican music album including Tejano
16:59And?
17:00And if I'm featured with the front runner and they win, which they will cause it's a weak year
17:03I get my G!
17:05Yay!
17:07Hey Deborah, we're ready for you
17:09Thanks
17:11Thanks, we love
17:16Did you know about this?
17:17Yes
17:19Yes
17:20Hi, hi
17:21Hello
17:21How are you doing?
17:22Good
17:22Alright
17:23Yes
17:25Hit it
17:46Oh God, I hate firing people
17:49Let's do good cop bad cop
17:50I'll be bad cop, they're sexier
17:52Okay
17:53Just
17:54Okay
17:55We should see a concert soon
17:56I'm kind of in the mood for a concert
17:59Alright
17:59Come in
18:02Hi there, it's Jimmy and Kayla
18:04Hi, yeah
18:04Hi
18:05Hi
18:06I need to talk to you, honey
18:08Okay, sure
18:09Come on in
18:11Oh, thank you so much for welcoming us into your space
18:14Of course
18:16Um, we should start by saying that you, madam, have been just so punctual
18:23What was I'm punctual?
18:25That being said, you're bad
18:26You're acting to ass
18:28Okay
18:28And you're being outperformed by a dead corpse, mama
18:30Okay, sorry about her
18:32Give us a second
18:32That was insane
18:34But honestly, it's on me
18:35I should have never let you be bad cop
18:36You be good cop
18:37Okay
18:38Kind of an oxymoron, though
18:39Fucking pigs
18:40Just be as nice as you possibly can, okay?
18:42Okay
18:43I'll be the nicest girl in the whole world
18:45Sorry about that, hun
18:46I'm super bipolar
18:47Oh, my God
18:48I did not know that
18:50Ugh
18:50Um, yeah
18:51I, uh, I'm really sorry about that
18:53But, unfortunately, I do have some bad news
18:56Okay
18:57Those are your real lips
18:59If so, your boyfriend's one lucky son of a bitch
19:01I, I, I have a, a wife
19:04Ugh
19:04Gay ass
19:05Listen, there's no easy way to say this
19:08You are being recast
19:09What?
19:11Oh, my God
19:11You are terminated and affected immediately
19:13Please, pack up your things and return your costume and the wig cap
19:16Fuck you, Jimmy
19:17Seriously?
19:18What?
19:19I mean, this is so unfair, right?
19:21I
19:21Insane, wrong
19:22Let's get the union involved
19:24You jackass
19:24No, we're not getting the union involved
19:26We're just recasting
19:27It happens every day
19:27No, I mean, seriously
19:28You've been mistreated in the workplace
19:29No, she hasn't
19:30This is just a recasting
19:31It happens every day in Hollywood
19:32It's tough business
19:33I've never seen something like this
19:34It happens a lot, okay?
19:35Unfortunately, this decision is final
19:37You're fired
19:38But you're also signed
19:39By us
19:40As a client
19:41Really?
19:42Mm-hmm
19:43Kayla
19:43I am seeking representation
19:45Well, you found it
19:46With Shaper and Lusak
19:47Welcome to the family
19:48Oh, my God
19:49Yeah, we should definitely get a dinner on the books
19:52Yay!
19:53Welcome to the dinner
19:54Hey, Nick
19:55Hey, Nick
20:12Hey, what's up?
20:13I've been thinking
20:14The real way
20:15To cement my legacy
20:16Is for me to primary
20:19AOC
20:20What do you think?
20:22Oh, um
20:24Yeah
20:25Yeah
20:25Yeah
20:25Totally
20:26That sounds good
20:26I guess we'd have to get you a New York address first
20:29In the Bronx
20:30I could be cool
20:30We could hang out there
20:31I heart New York
20:32I would love to hang out in New York City a lot more
20:34I would love that
20:35Okay, that's it
20:35Be good
20:35Okay, that's it
20:36What is wrong with you?
20:38Nothing
20:38What are you talking about?
20:39You're not challenging me in your normal
20:41Mom's you ever considered
20:43Eva way
20:44I'm just trying to be supportive
20:45Well, I don't need a yes man
20:47I need a no woman to ignore
20:50Okay, well
20:53Fine, uh, yeah
20:54Things got really dark in Singapore
20:56And it was really scary seeing you that way
20:58And now you're back
21:00And you're motivated
21:01And it's just nice to see you getting out of bed everyday excited
21:04Well
21:05Okay
21:09But you know, I do
21:11Sometimes
21:12Need you to be honest with me
21:16Okay, well
21:17I don't think performing Tejano music is how you want to rewrite your legacy
21:21Why not?
21:24I just
21:25I don't know that like
21:26Trying to find some loophole to game the system in an obscure awards category is what you want to be
21:31remembered for, is it?
21:32Maybe
21:34I mean, this non-compete could be a blessing in disguise
21:36I could discover something new I'm brilliant at
21:39My true calling
21:40I mean, look at Woody Allen
21:41He's a gifted clarinetist
21:43Doll, Woody Allen is not going to be remembered for playing the clarinet
21:46Or the movies
21:47Or the bucket hat
21:48It's going to be the other thing
21:49Okay?
21:50And you are going to be remembered for comedy
21:52Because you're a comedian
21:54You said it yourself in your final monologue, remember?
21:57God, I don't know what I said
21:59I certainly haven't watched it
22:00Yeah, well, maybe you should
22:04Okay
22:05What is the biggest achievement for a comedian?
22:09Beating a rape trial
22:10Seriously?
22:12Hosting a late night show
22:13Come on, anything else?
22:17Selling out Madison Square Garden
22:19Okay
22:20Okay
22:20Great
22:22But I can't do that
22:25I can't perform
22:26I know
22:26And I don't know how to get around that
22:29I don't know what to do
22:31So you have a bump, but no pitch
22:35Yeah, I'm sorry
22:37Yeah, me too
22:45I'm going to battle
22:50And I...
22:52And I...
23:08I...
23:15What?
23:25Ava!
23:26No results
23:27Unbelievable!
23:28Yeah, they've taken down every late night clip
23:30This is criminal
23:31Hang on
23:34Oh, shit
23:35What?
23:37They took down my bad, too
23:40What?
23:44Why would my special be gone?
23:46Why?
23:47Because it's on their streamer
23:49Bob Lipka controls that, too
23:50They fucking scrubbed everything
23:53Everything
23:56Everything that we have worked on for the past five years is gone
24:00They're not just rewriting me, they are erasing me
24:03I'm so sorry
24:06You know, the last time the press smeared me
24:08I just let them
24:09I leaned into it
24:11I leaned into it
24:11But not this time
24:12This time I am writing my story
24:14Because you're right
24:14I am a comedian
24:16And I'm doing comedy
24:17And I'm doing it tomorrow night
24:19Totally
24:20Super support you
24:21But how are you going to...
24:22Call Jimmy!
24:23Manager!
24:23Being let go is a normal part of the business
24:26Yeah
24:26I'm sure she'll be okay
24:28Thank you, Orna
24:28But again, I do want to revisit working on your boundaries with Glias
24:33I've been thinking about that a lot
24:34And I...
24:35Oh...
24:35You know what?
24:36Deborah's calling?
24:37Same time next week?
24:37Great
24:40Hey, Deborah
24:40Hi, hi, hi, I hope it's not too late
24:42No, no, this is great
24:43I actually wanted to talk to you
24:44I just figured it was too late for you
24:46Are you ready for your close-up, Mr. Vance?
24:48What?
24:49I got you a part
24:50Your Oscar is just one great performance
24:53Nomination, flawless campaign, and win away
24:55No, I'm over that
24:56Don't need an Oscar anymore
24:57No, yes, you do
24:58You need it
24:59You told me you needed it
25:00And we recast somebody
25:01We're putting you on the call sheet right now
25:03Jimmy, I'm doing stand-up tomorrow
25:04Oh, no
25:06You're sundown in, darling
25:07You cannot perform
25:08No, I'm gonna do a secret show
25:10We're gonna confiscate phones
25:12Well, no venue's gonna agree to that
25:14They don't have to
25:15I know a guy
25:18Password?
25:20Hermes Kelly 28 crock gold hardware
25:26Follow me
25:27Let me just attack
25:38Phones, please
25:39If your babysitter calls, Damien here will handle it
25:42And if you try to sneak in a device, you will be tamed
25:45They are good
25:46Follow me and watch your step
25:47We are not liable if you fall, ladies
25:49Open any hard candy now
25:51So help me God
25:52If I hear a rustle, you're gone
25:54Sit
25:55Right this way
25:56Front row, best seat in the house
25:58You do have to sit on the floor, though
25:59Sorry about that
25:59Did you get your mom yet?
26:01The Arbuckle movie is freaking out
26:02Alright, let me try her again
26:08I'm so sorry, everybody
26:10I'm so sorry
26:12Oh, it's my son calling
26:13He's been trying to reach me
26:15Hi, honey, what's going on?
26:16You know that we shoot until midnight every night?
26:18I know, I'm sorry
26:19Just listen
26:19I got you a role in the Fatty Arbuckle movie
26:22Okay
26:22Say more
26:23Here's the only issue
26:24We lose our location Saturday
26:25So we have to shoot tomorrow
26:26Can you be off book for eight pages by morning?
26:29Baby, are you kidding?
26:30I'm in Sox
26:31I could be off book for Hamlet in 20 minutes
26:33Ah, great
26:34Okay
26:34Oh, this show is starting
26:36I gotta go
26:36I'll text you
26:37Alright, here, love you
26:38Okay
26:39My mom is in
26:40She's gonna do it
26:43Libra, Libra, Libra, Libra
26:46Libra, Libra, Libra, Libra, Libra, Libra
27:11Oh, thank you.
27:14Here I am, back from the dead.
27:20You know, when a man does that, he's the son of God.
27:23When a woman does it, she's held for questioning at LAX.
27:28The only other time I was mistaken for a corpse
27:30is when I let a straight man do my makeup.
27:36You know, when you're away from the spotlight,
27:41you have time to think about what really matters.
27:45The spotlight!
28:02Oh, can I try the kitty cat?
28:04Mmm.
28:06Oh, that is fierce.
28:08Stunning.
28:08Stunning.
28:09Oh.
28:10Excuse me, are you Deborah Vance?
28:12Yes, I'm alive.
28:13Oh, and you've been sown.
28:19Bitch!
28:20Shit, there's a video of you from the show online.
28:23I can't believe Bob's people found it so quickly.
28:26Looks like we're going to court.
28:27Ma'am, we need that ring back.
28:28So give it back when she's ready.
28:32Deborah!
28:33Deborah!
28:35Deborah!
28:39Deborah!
28:39Deborah!
28:42Deborah!
28:43Deborah!
28:44Deborah!
28:46Deborah!
28:47Deborah!
28:47Deborah!
28:47Deborah!
28:49Deborah!
28:49Deborah!
28:56We've just learned the judge has ruled that due to Comstar's investment in promoting
28:59Deborah Vance as the host of Late Night, the clause barring her from performing is in fact
29:03enforceable.
29:04A temporary restraining order will be put in place until a full trial can be set.
29:08This is a huge loss for Ms. Vance and her team.
29:11We'll be covering...
29:13Okay, okay, give us some space, please.
29:15Just stay back.
29:18Free speech is under attack in this country.
29:20Today I have been told that I cannot so much as perform one single joke or I will go to
29:25jail.
29:26But they can't censor me forever.
29:29The moment that my contract expires, I will be speaking my truth.
29:32In fact, I'll be shouting it at my comeback show at the world's most famous arena, Madison Square Garden.
29:42Excuse us, guys.
29:43Excuse us, please.
29:43Back it up.
29:44Back up.
29:45Give us some room.
29:48The Garden?
29:49Yeah.
29:50It's the ultimate win for a comedian.
29:52If I sell it out, I'll be one of only a handful who have ever done it.
29:55And that will be my legacy.
29:57You know, for a woman who can't be on camera, you've just got a lot of airtime.
30:00Mm-hmm.
30:02Wait.
30:03You leaked that video, didn't you?
30:04No.
30:06I did.
30:07That was a great pitch.
30:08We had to announce somehow.
30:12Oh, my God.
30:13I like family.
30:16Oh, no.
30:18I like family.
30:21Oh, yeah.
30:23I like family.
30:26No, no, no.
30:28I like family.
30:30No, no, no.
30:32I like family.
30:35Tell them the name.
30:37I like family.
30:42Like out of nowhere, my whole world fell apart
30:46Till this day, no one knows what I felt in my heart
30:51All those precious things inside that try to steal
30:56Hands that come from hell, push me over the hill
30:59I can't go holdin' me down
31:01Gotta rise, yes, it can be done
31:04Holdin' me down, gotta rise
31:07They can't make me run
31:09Holdin' me down, gotta rise
31:12Got my second wind
31:14Holdin' me down, gotta rise
31:17Tell them I'm back again, just say
31:19I ain't cramblin', I ain't been licked, no, no
31:24I ain't cramblin', no
31:28I ain't cramblin', tell them to me
31:32I ain't cramblin'
31:35Oh!
31:36Oh!
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