- 2 hours ago
Half Man Season 1 Episode 2
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:12you look nervous
00:16no no
00:17I'm just
00:20I don't know
00:22it feels big
00:23you'll be fine
00:26you're always fine
00:28the only positive about having a hyperactive brain
00:31is it's never as bad as you expect it to be
00:34great
00:35good pit talk man
00:40here
00:42I want you something
00:49finally
00:51the way out
00:53shut up
00:55what was your father's skin doing
00:57you read it in your sock
00:59yeah I know
01:01can it go via the left ventricle
01:04you're making a lot of death trunks
01:05for a man getting hedged in a few hours
01:07I'm fine
01:09I want to do this
01:10it's just
01:12I don't know
01:14I want it to work out
01:20your marriage worked out in the end
01:22did it not
01:24I got ill so quickly
01:26I could never really tell
01:27he always made a lot of effort too
01:29which put me off
01:31my dad was a lot more fun
01:32when he was fun
01:33and had dates
01:33and never calling me back
01:36that's why he got on so well with Mona
01:39he never signed a contract
01:40saying we expected more from one another
01:44you're missing her
01:47I miss them both
01:57what about Ruby?
01:59do you feel he's there?
02:06yeah I suppose
02:07maybe a
02:10small part of me
02:12misses them
02:15well that's something
02:18now what do you mean that's something?
02:20no I just
02:23look
02:24I don't know how to tell you this
02:28but he's on his way
02:32you're joking
02:34no
02:35if I'm out this morning
02:36I don't know how
02:38but he'll be here any minute
02:42ooh
02:54as
02:56if I am
02:57I can't
02:58I don't know
02:59how
02:59I can't
02:59I can't
03:03that's what I am
03:03I can't
03:03I can't
03:04I can't
03:04I can't
03:05I can't
03:08do you
03:08you
03:08I can't
03:08I can't
03:10I can't
03:10I can't
04:41I was going to get number one student, but it was 20 pence a letter, and to be honest, you
04:45haven't proved yourself yet.
04:46Well, like fun.
04:49Well, most words like an insult.
04:52I love it. Thank you.
04:56How are you feeling?
04:57Yeah.
04:58Pretty overwhelmed.
05:01Just hope I find my people you know.
05:03We will.
05:03This place is full of nerds and virgins.
05:07What?
05:08Embrace it, Niall.
05:09This is a fresh start.
05:11A chance to figure out who you are a bit.
05:13Away from Reuben.
05:15Mum, I don't know why you keep bringing that up all the time.
05:17We're just close.
05:18You're too close, honestly.
05:20You should see the pair of you when you're together.
05:22You strut around town like you'll never pay taxes.
05:24What's wrong with that?
05:25It doesn't suit you, Niall.
05:27You're not a strutter.
05:29You don't have the legs for it.
05:31He is going to want to visit, Mum.
05:33I know, but just bed in a little bit before inviting him, yeah?
05:38I just think it'll be good for you to see what life is like without his light blinding your eyes.
05:49Shall we?
05:57Go and make friends now.
05:58I don't want to come back here in four years' time to find you conversing with the pop-land.
06:02I will.
06:06Don't call Reuben!
06:07Jesus, Mum, I won't.
06:10I'll be fine without him.
06:11I promise.
06:26Just a minute.
06:29Hi.
06:30What's your name?
06:32I'm Niall.
06:33I'm Joanna.
06:35Why are you sitting in the dark?
06:37Oh, no, I wasn't.
06:39Well, I was.
06:40But I was having a power nap, you know?
06:43Head of a big freshers.
06:46You napping your shoes?
06:50Yeah.
06:51It's a time-saving thing, so I can wake up and hit the bar straight away, you know?
06:58Right.
07:00Anyway, want to join?
07:01We're doing pre-drinks, then we're going to the union, non-stop New Wave all night.
07:04Yeah, yeah, I love New Wave.
07:07Amazing, who's your favourite?
07:10Uh, Johnny and the New Waves.
07:20Right.
07:22Well, see you in a bit.
07:39Well, hey, there he is.
07:41This is Neil, the final flatmate.
07:42Oh, actually, my name's...
07:44This is Celeste, a French exchange student.
07:45Porridge man.
07:46Come save me!
07:49Do you want a drink?
07:50You've got one choice, and that's vodka.
07:53I'll have a vodka with a tiny splash of vodka, then.
08:00Just a vodka, please.
08:01Vodka and porridge?
08:02No, there's a combination.
08:08Sorry, what's this porridge thing?
08:10Celeste wants a Scottish man.
08:11One night the cereal box.
08:13You know, the man with the kent throwing the boulder.
08:15I told her Scotland's nothing like that.
08:17If anything, it should be a fat bloke with diabetes throwing a sausage roll.
08:28Right, enough of this mindless chit-chat.
08:30Let's get out of this rat den and go clubby.
08:33Oh, my God.
08:39Hello.
08:42Oh.
08:43Hello.
08:46I'm Albie.
08:47You must be Neil.
08:49Oh, I'm...
08:51Nice to meet you.
08:52Oh, no, I don't do handshakes.
08:53I feel like it's a social construct designed to keep us apart.
08:57But it's a pleasure, seriously.
08:59Have you met the others?
09:02Experienced, more like.
09:03Yeah.
09:04Could they, uh, apply you a cheap vodka?
09:07Certainly, Dad.
09:08Do you want to help him?
09:09No, I don't drink.
09:10I never have, really.
09:11Wow.
09:12That's crazy.
09:13Yeah, just the old bog-standard heroin for me.
09:20Are we ready to go?
09:21I want to meet the porridge man by midnight.
09:22She means you, Neil.
09:23You can be our porridge man.
09:24Ignore her.
09:25She's proletarian.
09:34See you later.
09:36Have fun.
09:42Celeste is hot for you.
09:43She wants to sew your oats, porridge man.
09:46I really hope this porridge man thing doesn't catch on.
09:49Are you going to bang?
09:50She's a bit, like, really fit.
09:52Well, I'll let her learn my name first.
09:53What?
09:54Neil?
09:54Oh, no, actually, my name.
09:55Do you think Albie's gay?
09:58What makes you say that?
09:59I don't know.
10:00Just a suspicion.
10:01There was this guy at my school who was gay,
10:03and he didn't really know how to join in either.
10:05Seems to be a sign, you know?
10:11Come on, have some shorts.
10:13We've unlocked the beast.
10:15I box, you know.
10:16And I smoke hash.
10:17I have some mummy now, in fact.
10:18What happened to the guy in the flat?
10:20Like, what have you done with him?
10:22Cheers.
10:28Right, let's go.
10:34Oh, nicely rolled.
10:37You're a dark horse, aren't you?
10:40You guys are so going to get on.
10:42It's like having subtext around.
10:46Fine, I'll leave.
10:48No, don't.
10:53I had better go after her.
10:57Go back.
11:12See you later, Virgban.
11:29I don't think you'd make it.
11:31Well, what can I say?
11:32I heard the city calling my name.
11:36That'll be the heroine.
11:42Oh, may I?
11:56So, what brings you to Glasgow?
11:59Oh, loads of things.
12:02City, music, the nightlife, the women.
12:07What is it you study again?
12:09English literature.
12:11Oh, cool.
12:13I was going to guess theatre studies, so not too far off.
12:16Are you out of studies?
12:18Hell no.
12:20It's my own software.
12:21What makes you say that?
12:22I don't know.
12:24You strike me as a performer in some way.
12:28Well, like an actor?
12:30No, a performer.
12:33Like you're performing somehow.
12:39Hey, it's nothing to worry about.
12:42After all, I'm a performer too.
12:59It's nothing to worry about.
13:07Can't you see I'm burning, burning?
13:21Something I said.
13:27That's...
13:28Just don't get it there.
13:30Yeah.
13:40Okay, let's go, buddy.
14:10Okay.
14:41Let's go.
15:14All right?
15:18I don't like it.
15:20What?
15:21Four years doing fuck all and getting paid for it.
15:23Come on now, he'll be a pub.
15:27What are the birds like?
15:29Any other hots for you?
15:31Actually, yeah.
15:32I think so.
15:34I can't tell if she's coming on to me or she's just French.
15:36A French bird?
15:37Oh la la.
15:38Two days in, he's already fine dining.
15:42Come on.
15:43What's bothering you, Shaka?
15:46I just don't feel like myself here.
15:51Everyone keeps calling me Neil and there's this...
15:54I'll be guy who's spurring me out a bit.
16:00You only need to ask.
16:03Oh, no, I couldn't.
16:05Just say the words.
16:13I need you.
16:14Meg?
16:20Huh?
16:21Oh...
16:22I don't know.
16:41Oh, no.
16:42Oh.
16:44Check the keys, Shagga.
16:46I'll be up in a bit.
16:47I'm going to have a fag and see if I can split a fresher.
17:22I had to run them through twice.
17:28You scared the shit out of me.
17:30Yeah, well I'm not cleaning it up this time.
17:34Look, I'd really appreciate it if you did.
17:39You were a disgrace last night.
17:46What do you mean?
17:48We've been early with no explanation.
17:51Oh, right.
17:53Why are you in your underpants?
17:56No reason. Just, you know, catching the air on the thighs.
18:04I'll put them back on.
18:06Well, this has been a fascinating insight into human behaviour, but I've got some reading to do.
18:20Hmm, there he is. Houdini.
18:24I'm sorry.
18:25You, last night. And your vanishing act.
18:28Very disappointing.
18:30Oh, my God. You should see how fat the sky is outside.
18:36Oh, he looks like trouble.
18:39Oh, my God. He just came into the halls.
18:42Eh? Maybe he'll move in upstairs and you can have a really dysfunctional romance.
18:45I'd love it, you know.
18:52There he is. Bring it in, son.
18:59You big, stupid bastard.
19:02Eh? Eh?
19:03You tax dodging fuck.
19:15Oh, this is Ruben, my, my brother.
19:19And you're the fat mates?
19:23You must be the gorgeous French one.
19:27No, that's, er, Celeste. I'm Joanna.
19:30Oh, sorry. I just assumed you were the gorgeous one.
19:39Right, you. I'll see you outside.
19:46Joanna.
19:54His name's Niall, by the way.
20:08Oh.
20:09That was epic.
20:11Mate, you're a lucky son of a bitch living with those two.
20:13I'll take the ugly bird off your hands then, shall I?
20:15She's not ugly, is she?
20:17Hey, I'm not complaining.
20:18Ugly birds are the better lay anyway.
20:20You're a sick fuck, Ruben.
20:21You do love it.
20:36What the hell?
20:37Do it back. Trust me.
20:38At work, I've got a game plan.
20:40Oh, no, they're not fucking hot.
20:42It's a little soft cock, Neil Kennedy, not have it in him to have a man.
20:45Would soft cock, Neil Kennedy rather go off and read some gay little books instead?
20:54Sorry, I...
20:59You fucking beauty.
21:02Stop.
21:04Stop.
21:07Keep still.
21:09There's certain parts of my body I don't have control over, Joanna.
21:18You're very different, you two.
21:21It's like one needs a head and the other needs a body.
21:28I think you have doubts, Niall.
21:31About you?
21:32No way.
21:33I spoke to Albie about this.
21:35We have our theories.
21:43You're a virgin, aren't you?
21:47That's why they disconnect.
21:58Shall we play spin the bottle?
22:02Basically, wherever the bottle lands, you need to kiss that person.
22:05You know there's a good chance it lands on family.
22:07Family, have a little.
22:08Very convenient.
22:09I'll go first.
22:14Lady?
22:31Come on, Frog.
22:32I want a French one.
22:39I'm not scared of you.
22:41Brother.
22:59Okay, guys.
23:00That's great.
23:01Other people are yet to...
23:09Thanks, guys.
23:12Thanks, guys.
23:15Thanks, guys.
23:19Thanks, guys.
23:21Come on, guys. It's a kiss, not a tongue transplant.
23:23Come on.
23:28Now, you take this one.
23:31You take this one.
23:55Oh, sorry.
23:57Don't mind me.
24:06Who's next?
24:09Fuck it.
24:10I'll go.
24:15You're up.
24:20Sorry.
24:20Sorry, I don't think we've, um, been acquainted.
24:22I'm Albie.
24:24I know exactly who you are.
24:28Ruben.
24:29Now's power.
24:31Oh, I don't do handshakes.
24:33And I don't do with people turning them down.
24:55What are you waiting for?
24:58I wasn't playing.
24:59Spend the bottle.
25:01Ancient law.
25:02You went to the room.
25:04You're playing.
25:08Okay.
25:09Well, can't argue with ancient law.
25:15Oh, hey.
25:17Yes, Albie.
25:18This is exciting.
25:20See?
25:39There you go.
25:42Amazing.
25:49What are you waiting for?
25:51You know, man enough to kiss a bloke or something.
25:54Yeah, kiss him.
25:55Haha.
25:57What are you waiting for?
26:05You know, man enough to kiss a bloke or something.
26:09Yeah, kiss him.
26:11Haha.
26:13That's all, Polaroid is coming across the river.
26:23Don't surprise me, Come on.
26:33Will you lie and standee, please?。
26:46What's that?
26:48Electricity, mate. Have a sniff?
26:50No, no. I'm good, actually.
26:52All the more for me, then.
26:56Boys?
26:58Celeste, bump of life, mate.
27:00Sure. Why not?
27:08Do you even know what it is?
27:10Don't care. You need to tolerate your brother somehow.
27:16Where's Joanna?
27:17Urinating in the bushes.
27:19Sorry, guys. I bet you think I'm minging now.
27:28Right, let's talk game plan.
27:29It's a fat prick checking student IDs.
27:31Yeah, looks like it. You'll charm them, though, don't worry.
27:33Yeah. Bouncers are the only ones who manage to see through my bullshit.
27:37What bullshit?
27:38Exactly. I'll have to find another way in.
27:40But wait, what if you don't?
27:42Don't worry. I have an act for worming my way into tight spaces.
27:46Ha ha ha!
27:52Oh, I'll have to spend my time at work
27:55My time's very boring, I'm an office clerk
27:57The only thing that'll help me pass the time out of the way
28:00Is how we got me back at Echo Free Sunday
28:17Can't get enough of that iron brew?
28:19No, I'm here for all the pussy.
28:23Sorry about my brother, but his heart's in the right place.
28:26I've always hated that phrase
28:29It's excuse-making for shitty behaviour
28:32And why did you bring him?
28:34I wanted to see him
28:35But we're practically the same person
28:38You're not remotely
28:40You're the same person
28:41In the same way Jekyll and Hyde are the same person
28:49Yes, I love this song
28:51I don't
28:52The Geldof's a wanker
28:55I'm sorry it's in the right place
29:00Did you see Live Aid?
29:02Holy shit, Freddie Mercury?
29:04Yeah, incredible, wasn't it?
29:05Yeah
29:06Would be nice, wouldn't it?
29:07To be able to dance like that
29:09What, you're telling me that Niall Kennedy can't radio Gaga?
29:15Yeah, watch this
29:26It's so exciting
29:27No, no, no, I love it
29:28It was as though Freddie had died
29:31And come back with longer limbs
29:42What the hell is he doing?
29:44I'm a person who I lose
29:45From a scat-listing song
29:47Screaming and crying in the eye-rise
29:50Wilds at a rat track
29:51You're like what you're all out of love
29:53I'm a woman, I'm a woman
29:55I'm a woman, I'm a woman
29:57You're a woman, I'm a woman
29:59I'm a woman, I'm a woman
29:59I'm a woman, I'm a woman
30:00I'm a woman, I'm a woman
30:02I'm a woman, I'm a woman
30:04I'm a woman, I'm a woman
30:05I'm a woman, I'm a woman
30:07I'm a woman, I'm a woman
30:08I'm a woman, I'm a woman
30:09I'm a woman, I'm a woman
30:09Can you be a woman?
30:16Oh!
30:20Hey, are you okay?
30:21Look at this place
30:22How did we get from hunter-gatherers to student unions?
30:24It's an evolutionary mishap
30:27Excuse me mate, you just nudged me
30:29Whoa, whoa, whoa, I think you should slow down a bit
30:32Do you promise me you won't start shit?
30:34I won't
30:34It's a bumpy come up is all
30:36I'll be chock full of love in a second, don't you worry
30:39Ah, there they are
30:40The slappers
30:42Come here you
30:43No!
30:48It's going to end horribly
30:50You have no idea
30:54Here
30:55I'll be your guide
30:57Easy in a bit
31:15Less tongue
31:16What?
31:17Oh!
31:18Next time
31:19Less tongue
31:20Right
31:44What happened to Easy 9?
31:46I think I'm feeling it
31:48Oh!
31:49Oh!
31:49Oh!
31:50Oh!
31:51Here
31:54You're still flaccid
31:55I'm not going to get one here
31:58Oh, that's fine
32:00We leave
32:03Yo!
32:04We're leaving
32:05Okay, you are
32:06Don't miss Hale, okay?
32:08He's already raised
32:17Yes, sir
32:18Ruben has blackness in him
32:22I think you need some water
32:24Ah, my coat
32:26Wait here
32:53I'll be
32:55I'll be with it up
32:59Er, where's Celeste?
33:02Narnia
33:02By now, I reckon
33:06Do you have a good night?
33:08Er
33:10Started well
33:12I suppose it's ending well, too
33:15Who remembers the medal, right?
33:17Exactly
33:18So many films were forgiven for starting and ending well
33:22Go to Skip?
33:23How dare you
33:25E.T.
33:26Get out!
33:27That's perfect!
33:36What a shitty start to uni
33:38One of my black mates thinks I'm a virgin
33:40The other thinks I'm a social freak
33:42So you're not a virgin?
33:44No, no
33:45I
33:45I
33:46I had sex with my brother's girlfriend once
33:48Well, we had sex with her together
33:53Well, that's dark
33:56Sorry, I'm just trying to get my head around how that works
33:59Well, he brought her home one night and pretty much placed her on me
34:04Right, how old were you?
34:05I was 15, he was 17
34:11What?
34:12No, erm
34:14It just all makes sense now
34:16Why he feels part of you
34:25Do you fancy a film or something?
34:28Where we could watch the start of the great escape and the end of E.T.
34:31Try and make sense of them together
34:34The prisoners of war who escape to the moon on a bicycle?
34:38Sounds perfect
34:40Nice run, because it's freezing
35:14Look, I'm not quite ready for that
35:18It's okay
35:19This does no pressure
35:20I know
35:21I want to
35:23I just
35:26I just
35:28Hey
35:29Hey, hey, what's going on?
35:32I just, I don't know where these feelings have come from
35:36I mean, my mum's gay for Christ's sake, it should be easy
35:39Your mum's gay?
35:42Yeah
35:43I'm genuinely impressed
35:44I mean, gay mums are pretty radical
35:47Hawks thinks they watch it on my girl
35:50You told them
35:51Norway
35:53The fucking town would have a field day
35:56They would think there was something in the water
36:00And we can go at your pace
36:03Even if that means going backwards
36:07How would that work?
36:08Nevermind, you have a lot to learn
36:10You have a lot to learn
36:14We can do whatever you want
36:16We
36:16Can
36:17Chat
36:19We
36:19Can
36:20Watch films
36:21We
36:23Can
36:23Hug
36:25Baby
36:26See?
36:31No, it's easy
36:47You're a shit hogger
36:56It's okay, it's preoccupied
36:59I'm sorry
37:00I'm sorry
37:02I'm sorry
37:18You want me to go over here
37:26You're a bitch
37:32Holy
37:33You're a bitch
37:33Go
37:35You're a bitch
37:36Go
37:39I'm coming back for more Frenchy
37:41Just you wait
37:42Go
37:44Go
37:49So what happened?
37:51He just started kissing in front of me.
37:53So I gave Ruben an ultimatum.
37:54I said if you carry on kissing her, I'm going home.
37:57Then what did he say to that?
37:59He said win-win.
38:00Then spat in the face.
38:02Jesus.
38:05I'm so sorry.
38:09Are you going to be able to get through this induction?
38:11I'll be fine.
38:13I've been through worse than him.
38:14That's for sure.
38:18We do have a fairly extensive reading list this year
38:21and I suggest you take a look at all the texts on it.
38:23I know for some of you, English isn't your primary subject
38:26but I still think it'd be good to acquaint yourself with the wider syllabus.
38:33It's Joanna, isn't it?
38:36Would you like to take a moment?
38:42Now for the rest of us, if you can take a look at the handout in front of you.
39:08What's going on here?
39:10What's going on here?
39:12What's wrong with the shit I've taken?
39:16Your eyes are holes right now.
39:20Big, dark, shitty holes.
39:27Is she still okay?
39:29She's just working through some shit.
39:31That's the beauty of this drug.
39:33She's actually never been more awake in her life.
39:48Come here.
39:49Dance with me.
39:51Here.
39:53Get on my feet.
39:56You need to be at my level for what I'm about to tell you.
40:08What are we doing here?
40:10My dad.
40:12You know what she's going to do?
40:15Had another child with this random bird.
40:18She's fighting him for custody.
40:22Right.
40:23Okay.
40:30We can't let him win, Jagger.
40:34We can't let him win.
40:42If you lot don't get the fuck out, I'm calling the police.
40:58How did you get rid of him?
41:01It wasn't too hard.
41:03He is pretty Pavlovian when it comes to police callings.
41:06I'm going to let him win.
41:07I'm going to let him win.
41:18I'm going to let him win.
41:39Hey, hey, hey. What's wrong?
41:44You knew it was supposed to be a fresh start.
41:47A chance to...
41:49And I just made all the same mistakes.
41:52It's okay. It's not going to be here forever.
41:55I'm sorry. I shouldn't be crying.
41:56Hey, hey, don't worry.
42:01This is what I meant about performing.
42:06I can see it in your eyes, almost.
42:09The real you was in there.
42:12Just trying to get out.
42:17I mean, that's the thing.
42:18My eyes, they always tell the truth.
42:28Well, I really see it now, then.
42:33You're exhausted.
42:37You're done fighting.
42:40Yeah.
42:42You can say that again.
42:46Then stop fighting.
42:58I know this isn't like, like sexy, but this is my first time with a man, so...
43:05Sexy can win.
43:05Yeah, that's my baby.
43:33There's just what the fuck are you.
43:35Come on, let me just check in.
43:50Hey, what are you doing?
43:52Oh, no, it's just a...
43:53It just suddenly occurred to me that I am doing it again.
43:56What do you mean?
43:57I just told myself the last time I...
43:58The straight boy wouldn't do it again.
44:00No, no, I'm sorry, but please, I...
44:02It's just, it's Ruben, he'll...
44:04He'll kill me if he finds out.
44:05Your mothers are together, why would he care?
44:07It's...
44:08It's different with men, isn't it?
44:10It's more...
44:11Shameful.
44:16Wow, okay.
44:18By society's standards, I mean...
44:20Wait, I'll be pleased, let's...
44:22Let's reset.
44:23You know, Niall, um...
44:25The first boy I ever got with was so worried about being found out that, um...
44:30He came in my hand, and then he ran out of the room to tell everyone I hit on him.
44:37I shared a dorm with eight other guys, and they beat me up every night.
44:41So one day, I stood up, and I said, so what?
44:46I'm gay.
44:47The next person to touch me wants it.
44:51And I stood there with my arms crossed.
44:54And I waited.
44:55And nothing happened.
44:58You know why?
45:01Because my strength was far greater than their fear.
45:10Yeah, a few weeks later, I, uh...
45:12I went up to that boy, and I thanked him.
45:15I said, um...
45:17I said that he didn't tell anyone.
45:19I never would have.
45:25Why are you telling me this?
45:31Because if he didn't tell anyone, I never would have.
45:53Did your dad have another kid?
45:57Who told you that?
46:00You did, yesterday.
46:01No, I never.
46:02I should remember, Ruben.
46:03I never said anything.
46:18Joanna's really upset.
46:21Why?
46:22Because I fucked a much fitter bird.
46:24You spat on her face, Ruben.
46:26So what?
46:27I'm not fucking justifying myself to you.
46:29You saw the way she threw herself over me all night.
46:31It was embarrassing.
46:33If you give your body away so easily like that,
46:35don't be upset if it comes back with spittling.
46:39What's this about?
46:41An intervention, is it?
46:44Now Kennedy wanting one of his wee chats.
46:46Have I gone too far?
46:48No.
46:49No.
46:50No, I...
46:50I just think...
46:53Maybe it's time to, you know...
46:56I think Maura might want me back.
46:59Maura?
47:00What the fuck are you talking about Maura for?
47:02You've never given a shit about her.
47:04Well, what about work?
47:07Fuck work.
47:09I'm staying here.
47:11Why should you get all this for free and I get nothing?
47:13We share everything.
47:14I mean, you're wearing my jumper right now.
47:16It's different.
47:16No.
47:16You don't get to whisk off on a fancy grant and leave me in a shithole.
47:19Fuck that.
47:20You should have brought me with you from the start.
47:22We can't share a room forever.
47:24It's not about the room.
47:24It's about the fucking principle.
47:30Don't you bring up my father again, okay?
47:33I won't rip that jumper off your bike right here, right now.
47:37You understand?
47:41Got anything else to say?
47:44Stay.
47:45Stay as long as you want.
47:46Stay.
47:57Stay as long as you want.
48:00Niall?
48:07How did it go?
48:10Did you do it?
48:14Yeah.
48:17Oh my God.
48:20Niall.
48:25How do you feel?
48:29I feel...
48:30Yeah.
48:31Yeah, it's done.
48:33Look, should we go to your room?
48:34Ruben's coming back and I don't want him to know we're talking.
48:37What, so he didn't take it well?
48:40He needs time.
48:41It wasn't so much the reveal.
48:43I mean, like you said, our mums.
48:44It was...
48:45It was more...
48:45I kept it so long.
48:47Mother Alicia, you know.
48:56Ruben?
48:58Don't, don't, don't.
48:59Can I have a word from him?
49:05I know what you're gonna say.
49:07We've had the chat.
49:09As far as I'm concerned, bygones be bygones.
49:16Wow.
49:18Er...
49:18That is very commendable.
49:21So sarcastic.
49:23No, er...
49:24No, it's just...
49:24Niall was worried about how you'd react.
49:26I was pissed off at first, but...
49:30However you guys wanna live, I won't get in the way of that, as long as I'm staying here.
49:34Wow.
49:35I'm so impressed.
49:37Really, I am.
49:42Look out, why don't you go like that?
49:46Wait, I...
49:47I had you all wrong.
49:50The way you look out for each other.
49:52I get it now.
49:54I really get it.
49:57Great.
49:57Wait, Ruben, I...
50:00I don't think you quite realise what you've done here.
50:02How huge this is.
50:04Calm down, mate.
50:05It's a broken kitchen.
50:06I won't do it again.
50:13Right, I see.
50:19What was your fucking deal, man?
50:21In what sense?
50:22Sniffing your fucking face at me.
50:24Well, it wasn't at you actually, it was at your brother.
50:26You think that's fucking better, do you?
50:27Great, right, right, let's go.
50:28No, no, no.
50:29No, you're really pressing me.
50:30Son.
50:31Just leave this, okay?
50:32Not until this cunt explains himself.
50:34Do you want to tell him, or shall I...?
50:40What the fuck is going on?
50:42Okay, fine, I'll tell him.
50:43I'll be, I'll be, I'll be...
50:44Your brother!
50:44No, shh shh shh shh shh shh shh!
50:46I can't do it!
50:50Ah!
50:51Ah!
50:55Ah!
50:55Ah!
50:58Oh, God, no!
51:01Stop, stop, stop, stop!
51:03Ah!
51:05Please, try it out!
51:06Stop, stop!
51:07Ah, shit!
51:08Ah!
51:10I don't know.
51:54I don't know.
52:10I don't know.
52:43I don't know.
53:20I don't know.
53:34I don't know.
53:39I don't know.
53:44I don't know.
53:48I don't know.
54:06I don't know.
54:07We are gathered here today to witness the marriage of Niall Brandon Kennedy and Albert Franklin Sipata.
54:16What's Ribbon doing here?
54:17I don't know.
54:18I'm so sorry.
54:19Jesus Christ, this is fucked up.
54:22What are we even doing?
54:23I don't know.
54:25I don't know.
54:27Maybe he's going to leave or something.
54:29No, don't do that.
54:30I'll just make things worse.
54:30Let's just get through this then.
54:33It'll be fine.
54:35Do you, Albert Franklin Sipata, take Niall Brandon Kennedy as your lawfully weighted partner?
54:50Do you, Niall Brandon Kennedy, take Albert Franklin Sipata as your lawfully wedded partner?
55:10I do.
55:13I do.
55:31You.
55:46You.
55:47I do.
55:56I don't know.
55:58But I do.
55:59I Sex, sir.
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