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Hacks - Season 5 - Episode 04: Who's Making Dinner?
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00:04And so, without further ado, welcome to the stage, you know her, she pays you, Debra Vann!
00:17Thank you, thank you.
00:21So, I know you haven't seen me in a while.
00:24When Hollywood wants to get rid of a woman, they just say she was difficult.
00:27But a man gets away with having sex with his stepdaughter because, well, that's just his process.
00:32Am I right, y'all?
00:37The reports of my death were fake news.
00:41As was Us Weekly every time they published, I didn't wear it better, y'all.
00:46Y'all again.
00:47What is that?
00:51Sorry.
00:51Okay.
00:53Let's get to the persecution pyramid!
01:00Every woman who has ever done something brave or unexpected is either called crazy, shot in the face, or even
01:06worse, thwarted by a contract she didn't read close, do you know?
01:10Oh, I'm so sorry.
01:14Hey, you.
01:16Yeah, I'm just in the meeting.
01:17All right, let's take a break.
01:18Okay.
01:19Okay.
01:22So, yeah, maybe we want to rethink the persecution pyramid and also the, um, just all of it, I think?
01:28No, it's the crowd.
01:29I mean, they work for me.
01:30I paid people to be here.
01:31It's a completely different dynamic than at a comedy club.
01:34Besides, Josefina's in a mood because I don't like her new water filter.
01:37Totally.
01:38I think maybe we want to focus on, like, what's been funny about the past few years,
01:42and then we can sort of work in the systematic oppression of it all, if we must.
01:47I'm going to get to the funny, but if comedy says something, it's supposed to make you uncomfortable.
01:51I mean, you're the one who always says that it doesn't have to be a laugh a minute.
01:54No, I know, but it's kind of a Smith College commencement address at the moment.
01:59So sorry about that.
02:00That was the Paley Center.
02:01Unfortunately, they're not willing to move to the Who's Making Dinner event.
02:04Do they know that I won't be able to speak at it because of the gag order?
02:08Yes, but they're adamant that the anniversary event should take place on the anniversary and not, you know, nine months
02:12later.
02:13Oh.
02:14People are so dramatic about time.
02:16Why can't they just be more flexible about dates?
02:18You know, like I am, about my birthday.
02:20Not everybody is as easy to work with as you are.
02:22But look, they still want you to attend, you know, and pose for some photos.
02:25And I can circle back with your lawyer.
02:27Maybe you learning sign language is a fun loophole.
02:29Oh.
02:30Oh, I know, a little.
02:31Oh.
02:32Okay.
02:33Okay, well, I'm sorry.
02:34That's not nice.
02:36I think she's hangry.
02:38Always.
02:38She doesn't eat.
02:39Yeah.
02:40But you, I have really good news for her.
02:42Oh.
02:43So, remember Jessica Duncan, the exec who made my bed?
02:45Yeah.
02:45Well, she got a huge new job.
02:47And guess what?
02:48What?
02:49She loved your script.
02:50You know what?
02:52She is one of the good ones.
02:53I have always liked her.
02:54Well, she wants to sit down with you, and I'm going to schedule a meeting when you're in town for
02:56the Who's Making Dinner event.
02:57Oh, my God.
02:58You are the best in the biz.
02:59I'm flailing, but thank you.
03:01Put this thing on.
03:02Because I got a couple things to get off my chest, too.
03:05First up, these Russians, and I'm not talking about the dolls.
03:08No, no, no.
03:09Silence is running.
03:10This is what Jessica's talking about.
03:12Oh, my God.
03:15Make my lips bigger.
03:17Bigger.
03:20Whoa.
03:21We have any yard sale?
03:22Oh, the Paley Center wants some memorabilia and photos for the Who's Making Dinner exhibition.
03:27How's this?
03:28That's good.
03:29Now, give Frank some dark circles and a big, fat double chin.
03:33Cloning now.
03:33What are you doing?
03:35We're...
03:36What did you call it?
03:37We're yassifying Deborah.
03:39And we're de-yassifying Frank.
03:41I mean, if I can't speak at the event honoring my show, the least I can do is make my
03:46nasty, bastard-ass, cheating ex-husband look like shit.
03:49Not sure a media preservation nonprofit's gonna love that.
03:53I'm just giving them options.
03:56Apparently, Kathy already sent some photos over.
03:58She's not gonna be there.
03:59Thank God.
04:01Is this the original pilot script?
04:05Yeah.
04:07I'm sorry.
04:08How the hell did he get Soul Creator credit?
04:12We wrote the pilot together, and then he said,
04:15Oh, Deb, I'm just gonna put my name on this first one, and then you can put yours on the
04:20second one.
04:21I was so naive, I didn't know that whoever writes the first episode from then on is considered the creator.
04:27Right.
04:28He said it was an innocent mistake, but he knew what he was doing.
04:32He never wanted me to get any credit.
04:36Now I have another bastard trying to erase me.
04:39That's why my MSG show has to be historic.
04:42Has to be record-breaking.
04:44How's this?
04:47Before and after.
04:49Amazing.
04:50That is exactly how I remember it.
04:51Wow.
04:52Oh, you think that's good?
04:53Wait till you see what she did to my grandson.
04:55Ha.
04:56No.
04:57Isn't he adorable?
04:58You guys can't Photoshop a baby.
04:59Yes, you can.
05:01Oh.
05:01My God.
05:02Did you snatch his waist?
05:04Oh, yes.
05:04He's so fit.
05:14I just have to say, I am so proud of the work we did together on Debra's special.
05:21I was so pissed when I saw that they took it down.
05:25It was motherfuckers.
05:27No, we, yeah, we were devastated.
05:28And what Bob Lipka did to my girl Debra?
05:31I mean, that is bullshit.
05:34Oh, completely agree.
05:35Guillotine.
05:35Thank fucking good.
05:38I don't work there anymore.
05:39Mm-hmm.
05:40Oh, okay.
05:40All right.
05:41Vibe shift.
05:42Yes.
05:42Mall girl.
05:43Yeah.
05:44You know, Jimmy said that I would like your script.
05:46I didn't.
05:49I loved it!
05:53That is so nice.
05:55A modern day retelling of The Wizard of Oz set in a 90s mall literally written for me.
06:03It's so smart.
06:08You know, see, I loved when the girl gets her ears pierced and it gets infected,
06:12and then the Hot Topic goths have to take her to the hospital, my heart broke for her.
06:18Oh, that is, that's really nice to hear.
06:21No, it's so nuanced.
06:23It's so specific.
06:26Oh, it's so original.
06:28So obviously we can never make it.
06:30Oh.
06:32Yeah.
06:33But what else you got?
06:35That was all that I was kind of doing at the, at the mom, at the mom all.
06:40Well, I really want your next TV show.
06:44So here's what I'm going to do.
06:45Sight unseen, whatever you got, I will buy it.
06:48Cash advance, blind script deal.
06:49Oh my god.
06:50Really?
06:51Yeah.
06:52Could, I mean, could mall girl be a series?
06:55No.
06:56No.
06:56So something you're more passionate about, right, but also hits the young demo?
07:00Okay.
07:01Diverse, of course.
07:03Queer, queer counts.
07:05Yes, I see a girl, Agilibizi AIQ+.
07:07Not too political, not too poor, hard, funny.
07:12Okay.
07:13But passion first.
07:14Well, I mean, look, it's, I think for me, finding an idea that I'm immediately passionate about.
07:20Right, right.
07:20Easy as pot.
07:21Yeah.
07:22But no limited series.
07:23Yeah.
07:23Limited series, bad.
07:24Yes.
07:25Bad.
07:26Bad.
07:27Bad.
07:28Yeah, that should be easy.
07:35Just because I am not the prettiest girl you ever did see, and even if I don't have such
07:48a wonderful personality...
07:51So she didn't start as a stand-up?
07:53No, she starred in the show with her husband, and, um, you know, she got famous from the sitcom.
07:57Ah, I mean, I think she's cuter, but I also think she's hotter now.
08:00I like a one with a little patina on them, eh?
08:02Oh, yeah.
08:03Jimmy.
08:05Beth!
08:06Oh, hi!
08:07Hi!
08:07It's so nice to finally meet you in person.
08:09Wow!
08:11Um, uh, this is, uh, Kayla and Randy.
08:14Hi, welcome to Pele Fest.
08:15Thanks for having us.
08:16Yeah.
08:17I had my bat mitzvah here.
08:18I'm not Jewish, but the theme was out of Paris.
08:21Yeah, it was, uh, great bat mitzvah.
08:22Um, anyway, thank you again for all your help.
08:24I know there was a lot of back and forth with all the Deborah stuff.
08:26It is literally my pleasure, and I actually remember that you are a coffee snob.
08:31Guilty.
08:32So I just got you a cold brew.
08:33That is so nice.
08:36Well, cold brew is like sex, even when it's bad.
08:40I'm grateful.
08:41So true.
08:42Um, mm-hmm.
08:44Yeah, no, but seriously, the coffee here is just dog shit.
08:47But welcome to the non-profit world.
08:49You know what I mean?
08:50I'm like, take me with you, please.
08:53Wish we could, you know?
08:55We are downsizing.
08:55God, stop.
08:57I'm talking to someone.
08:59I have to take this, but I will find you in a little bit.
09:01Okay, cool.
09:02Bye.
09:03Thank you again.
09:04Cheers.
09:05Good.
09:08Wow.
09:09What the hell is going on?
09:11What?
09:12You're being sexual at work.
09:14You're never like that.
09:16I mean, it was like watching two jail rats ratting up the bathroom.
09:19What are you talking about?
09:20You were laughing at her voices?
09:22You were like, ah, ha, ha, ha.
09:23What?
09:24God, we were just being...
09:24That wasn't even the best voice.
09:26I mean, it was kind of funny, but not anything like my Jamaican accent.
09:28We retired your Jamaican accent after what happened with that waiter.
09:31And I was just being nice.
09:32We've been emailing each other for months, you know?
09:34Okay, emails first base.
09:35I mean, the last person I emailed, we ended up fucking Jimmy.
09:38Oh my God, the HVAC guy?
09:40Ew, no.
09:41The exterminator.
09:42You slept with Adnan?
09:43Yeah.
09:44Whatever, my emails were strictly professional.
09:46Yeah, I don't know.
09:47I was on those emails, boss, and you were using a lot of exclamation marks,
09:51which for a man is the equivalent of exposing his genitals.
09:55Whatever, I was just being friendly.
09:57Oh yeah?
09:58Is it friendly to have your tits out?
09:59Button up slut.
10:01She wants you to lay that pipe down, I'm telling you.
10:04You really think so?
10:05I mean, that's flattering.
10:05I never get cruise, but...
10:07She was wearing a wedding ring.
10:08She's married.
10:09Who cares?
10:10You never had sex with a married person?
10:12Not that I know of.
10:13Have you?
10:13Yeah, I just told you.
10:15Adnan.
10:16Who cares?
10:17It's LA.
10:17I mean, 90% of the marriages are open,
10:19the other 10% heading for divorce,
10:20because they tried being open.
10:22Not my fault.
10:23All right.
10:23I think you two are really over-exaggerating, okay?
10:26Hmm, we'll see what happens.
10:29Enjoy your coffee.
10:33Yeah, so now I just have to come up with the premise for a show.
10:35And you know what's always been interesting to me?
10:38The woman in urgent care who comes in before the doctor.
10:41She's not a nurse, you know?
10:43She's something else.
10:45Like, what if I told her story?
10:47Very compelling.
10:49I know, right?
10:52Oh, my God.
10:54Wow.
10:55You know, it's so cool that something you made so long ago
10:58is being celebrated like this.
11:00Well, it endured because it was important.
11:02It said something.
11:03That's what I've been saying.
11:04I want my MSG show to do.
11:06Totally, totally, totally.
11:16The oven line, that was so good.
11:18You liked it?
11:19Yeah, you wrote it too, right?
11:20Did I write that one?
11:22No, you did.
11:23Oh, yeah, I did.
11:24Okay.
11:26Check out this, honey.
11:30Oh, yeah, Gino.
11:33He was wonderful.
11:34He died of AIDS.
11:35He was so young.
11:37Can you imagine being me in this situation?
11:39I point to a photo of a Hawkeye,
11:40and you're like, he died of AIDS?
11:42Just lie to me, you maniac.
11:44But I'm sorry for your loss.
11:48Yeah, it's tough.
11:56He's like, he's dead,
11:57or there'd be a bullet with his name on it.
11:59Uh-huh.
12:04Where are you going?
12:05To find a martini with my name on it.
12:12My dentist is such a pervert.
12:14And she's a girl.
12:15Oh.
12:19Shit.
12:20I think you guys are right.
12:22I think that she might be interested.
12:24We're not going to feel bad for you.
12:26You're basically bragging.
12:27No, I'm not bragging.
12:28Okay, she's coming.
12:28She's coming.
12:29Showtime.
12:31She's here.
12:34Hey.
12:35Hello, Beth.
12:35Um, I reserved a seat for you up front,
12:38next to me.
12:39Oh, wow.
12:40Uh, thank you so much.
12:42But you know what?
12:42I think I'm just going to do my own thing
12:43and bop around.
12:44Hmm.
12:45During the screening?
12:47Mm-hmm.
12:48Because it'll be dark,
12:48so you're going to have to
12:50climb over the people sitting down.
12:52He gets restless leg syndrome
12:54in the middle of the day.
12:55Yeah, yeah, yeah.
12:55I think it's good to just keep it moving,
12:57you know, get my steps in,
12:58get the circulation going.
13:00Sorry.
13:01Oh, don't step on that.
13:02Sorry.
13:02Oh, oh, oh.
13:03Oh, Jesus.
13:04Oh, my God.
13:05I'm so sorry.
13:06Oh, what is this?
13:07She ran right into me.
13:08She came out of nowhere.
13:08Can people just give her some space?
13:10Jesus.
13:11Give her a little bit of space.
13:12Are you seeing this?
13:13My pelvis.
13:14Jimmy, are you there?
13:15Can you hold my hand?
13:16Wait, what?
13:16My pelvis.
13:17Look, she's fine.
13:18She's fine.
13:19Oh.
13:21Perfect.
13:22Kettle, one martini,
13:23two olives, a little dirty.
13:26Hi, Deborah.
13:27Yeah.
13:34Thanks, Marcia.
13:36They love it.
13:37Isn't that crazy?
13:38And now it's just Friday, right?
13:40So imagine what I did Saturday.
13:42It's just a lot.
13:43Yeah.
13:44If you were there,
13:45you could have protected me.
13:46Here's your martini, man.
13:48Deborah, Eddie fucking Bean is here.
13:51He's like my favorite director
13:52from when I was a kid.
13:54This is a little before your time, no?
13:56No.
13:57What are you talking about?
13:57I grew up on Nick at Night.
13:59Bewitched was the closest thing
14:00we had to drag race back then.
14:02Well, I'll introduce you.
14:03He's a doll.
14:05Eddie.
14:06Oh, excuse me.
14:06Wow.
14:07Debbie, wow.
14:08I didn't know you were going to be here.
14:09Of course.
14:10I wouldn't miss it.
14:11Hi.
14:12So glad to see you.
14:13This is Ava.
14:14Ava Daniels, Eddie Bean.
14:15How's it going?
14:16I'm such a huge fan.
14:17My Tinder bio used to be your quote
14:19about the power of story.
14:20I didn't meet my soulmate,
14:22but a bunch of people did ask me
14:23to read their scripts,
14:24and that's something.
14:25Sure.
14:26Eddie directed the pilot
14:28of Who's Making Dinner.
14:28Of course.
14:29Launched my whole career.
14:30So basically, you owe me
14:3110% of everything you've got.
14:33Yeah.
14:33Oh, Deb.
14:35Glad to see.
14:36You still have your sense of humor.
14:37I'm just glad to see you're out.
14:40I heard about the breakdown.
14:43And I have a friend
14:44who has the mental troubles.
14:47It's rough stuff.
14:49Thank you, Eddie.
14:50It means a lot.
14:52Oh, did you hear?
14:53They're going to show some new footage
14:54of Frank tonight.
14:56Excuse me?
14:56Yeah, an unaired interview.
15:01I'm so glad Frank's being allowed to speak.
15:03Wish I could say the same for Joan of Arc.
15:06She's doing a lot of research on Joan of Arc right now
15:10for comedy.
15:13Hmm.
15:14Funny.
15:16Hard, Deb.
15:18Take care.
15:23I always hated that guy.
15:24Yeah.
15:25He thinks I have mental problems.
15:26He is clearly in cognitive decline.
15:29Yeah.
15:29And his prostate's probably
15:30the size of a cantaloupe.
15:32Debra, can we get some photos with you?
15:34Absolutely.
15:35Great.
15:36Right this way.
15:37Puff pastry?
15:38Oh, no, thank you.
15:40I've been pretty weird with dairy
15:41ever since this guy I dated
15:42sawed me in half.
15:46Hey, can I ask you something?
15:47Um, would you watch a show
15:49about Gator Waiters
15:50and, like, maybe, like,
15:51every episode takes place
15:52at a different event?
15:53Like Party Down.
15:54Really great show.
15:55Great.
15:58Ideas, ideas.
15:59Something in a dome?
16:01Shit, under the dome.
16:02Fuck, everything's been done.
16:03Every single thing.
16:05Can you take a picture
16:05of someone for me?
16:06Oh, sure.
16:07Jimmy.
16:07Oh, hi.
16:09Could I get a photo of you, too?
16:10Yeah, sure.
16:15Yeah, oh, my God.
16:16I cannot wait to get home
16:17and rip off this microthong.
16:19If it's still there,
16:20my fat ass is eating it up.
16:22Okay, Beth.
16:23I think I need to clear the air,
16:25all right?
16:25I've clearly misled you,
16:26and we need to keep things professional
16:28because I'm just not in a place
16:29for a relationship right now.
16:30I'm married, so.
16:32I know, and I can't do the open thing,
16:34all right?
16:35It's just not for me.
16:35I'm not stigmatizing it.
16:36It's just, I wouldn't be a good third,
16:38you know?
16:38My needs are too big.
16:39Yeah, I'm not open,
16:40and I'm not interested
16:41in you like that, so.
16:45Oh, well, well, good.
16:48I mean, or I guess not good,
16:50but I just, I'm sorry.
16:50Oh, my God, this is a little bit inappropriate.
16:52I'm like, ooh.
16:53Okay, oh, I'm sorry.
16:54I just was picking up a vibe.
16:55You know, you're being, like,
16:56incredibly nice, and.
16:57It's kind of my job
16:59to be incredibly nice, you know?
17:01Sure, but your job is really
17:03to coordinate events
17:04that preserve television history, right?
17:05You don't have to be that nice.
17:06You could just be cordial,
17:08or you could be rude, even, you know?
17:10We'll certainly keep that in mind moving forward.
17:13Not a problem.
17:14Okay, great.
17:14Well, I'm glad we talked.
17:16Me too.
17:17And, um, yeah,
17:19if you need any coffee,
17:20just help yourself to the crap over there.
17:22I'm not sure if it's been sitting all day, but.
17:24Beth, no, Beth, don't, don't do that.
17:26Beth.
17:29Not into you, boss.
17:30I know that.
17:31You told me she was into me.
17:32You two were both, like,
17:33she's drooling, boss, you said?
17:35We were sniffing each other like rats.
17:36What is this compulsive me for honesty?
17:40I didn't think you were going to say anything.
17:41That was so weird.
17:42Oh, my God!
18:02Thank you so much.
18:04Wow.
18:04Thank you to the network,
18:06everyone who supported the show
18:07and gave us a chance.
18:08Thank you to Deborah Vance.
18:10Deborah, I love you.
18:11Thank you to my entire team.
18:13at William & Morris, Sheila.
18:14Ladies and gentlemen,
18:16welcome, welcome.
18:18We are so proud to be celebrating
18:20the 50th anniversary
18:22of the groundbreaking sitcom
18:24Who's Making Dinner?
18:28We are so lucky
18:30to have so many writers
18:31and cast here today,
18:33especially the incomparable
18:35Deborah Vance.
18:42I hope you're all enjoying the exhibition.
18:44I want to take a moment
18:45to thank our partner brands.
18:47The arts would be nothing without you.
18:49Okay, before we get to our screening,
18:52we have a special announcement.
18:55As of today,
18:57stage 15 on the Warner Brothers lot,
18:59where every episode
19:01of Who's Making Dinner
19:02was filmed in front of a live audience,
19:04in addition to the many iconic game shows
19:07that Frank went on to produce,
19:08will be officially renamed
19:11The Frank Vance Stage.
19:16Frank Vance will forever be enshrined
19:19in Hollywood history.
19:21Well, please enjoy more past apps
19:23courtesy of TJ Maxx and Duolingo,
19:25and we will see you shortly
19:26in the theater.
19:28I cannot believe this.
19:30He's upstaging me
19:31even from beyond the grave.
19:33I don't think he's upstaging you.
19:35They are literally
19:36putting him up on a stage.
19:39Here.
19:43Hey.
19:45I want to introduce the screening.
19:46If Frank's allowed to speak,
19:47then I want to speak too.
19:49I get that,
19:49but you definitely can't.
19:50They're live streaming it.
19:52Then get them
19:52to turn off the stream.
19:54I thought you said
19:55you had a contact here.
19:58If the people aren't
19:59on the right marks,
20:00then we're fucked.
20:01So if you could just make sure
20:02that doesn't happen,
20:02that would be wonderful.
20:03Excuse me, Beth.
20:06Hello.
20:07Hmm.
20:08Okay.
20:09Um, you mind if I ask you
20:10a really quick favor?
20:10Well, I wouldn't want to give you
20:11the wrong impression, right,
20:13and do any special favors for you.
20:15And I appreciate that.
20:16I respect that.
20:17Uh, it's actually, you know what?
20:18It's not for me.
20:18It's for Debra Vance.
20:20Debra would like to speak,
20:21introduce the screening,
20:22and she's legally prohibited
20:23from doing that.
20:24So if you could just
20:25turn off the live stream camera
20:26just briefly,
20:27just while she's up there.
20:28Mmm, can't do that.
20:30Please, please.
20:31I am begging you.
20:32The answer is no.
20:34See?
20:34This is why I don't get
20:35into romantic relationships
20:36with work colleagues.
20:37We were not in
20:38a romantic relationship, so...
20:39Beth, I don't have time
20:39to get into our history
20:40and relitigate this,
20:41all right?
20:41We both know what happened.
20:42Can you just please do it?
20:45No.
20:46Fuck!
20:50You know what?
20:52When you were dating Jimmy,
20:53I really thought
20:54we could be friends.
20:55But now I know
20:56you're just another
20:57selfish blonde, aren't you?
20:59You're a bitch.
21:03Jimmy!
21:05Stop, stop looking at that.
21:07I know I'm not on the list.
21:08I'm just gonna speak for a second.
21:09It's okay.
21:09It's okay.
21:09Tell them Debra Vance
21:10said it was okay.
21:11It's okay.
21:12Debra, wait, wait.
21:13I tried, but they won't
21:15turn the cameras off.
21:16I'm sorry.
21:17Look, even if I look
21:18because people don't see it,
21:19as we've experienced,
21:20someone could just leak it anyway.
21:21I really don't think
21:22you should do this.
21:22I'm not just doing this for me.
21:24I'm doing this for all women
21:25who've been silenced.
21:31How?
21:33Thank you all so much
21:34for coming tonight.
21:36You know, we may not have
21:36figured out who's making dinner,
21:38but we figured out
21:38who's getting all the credit.
21:40Frank Vance.
21:42Oh, no, I know.
21:44That's not fair.
21:45What is going on?
21:45I tried to stop her,
21:46but I couldn't.
21:48Frank gave me a lot of credit.
21:49Becky gave me solo credit
21:51for that house fire.
21:52You remember that one, y'all?
21:55Y'all's back.
21:57The only woman who knows fire
21:58better than I do
21:59is my sister in the struggle,
22:01Joan of Arc.
22:02I was told not to speak tonight,
22:04but at least Joan got to scream
22:05when she was burned at the stake.
22:09Lucky bitch.
22:13Did I ever mention
22:14that Frank's family had slaves?
22:19Nasty stuff.
22:24Okay, let's roll that clip.
22:35Deborah, stop sulking.
22:37They won't let you get a credit card.
22:38You can just use mine.
22:39No, I'm going to tell them
22:41I'm...
22:44Mr. Danny Vance-a-Torri.
22:49Well, that's funny.
22:50I always thought I'd be
22:50the one who's water broke.
22:53Deborah, why are you
22:54dressed like a man?
22:55Well, if the bank
22:55won't let a woman
22:56open a credit card
22:57because it doesn't see me
22:58as a full person...
22:59You're going to force them?
23:00How about that?
23:01Not even five minutes
23:02being a man,
23:02and already I'm forcing people
23:03against their will.
23:06Yeah, but this was today
23:07you need four roommates
23:08to afford this house.
23:10Do you remember roommates?
23:11No, I actually have roommates.
23:13I have to live alone
23:13because I have bathroom stuff.
23:14Let me try this out.
23:16Is that an idea for a show?
23:18Bathroom stuff?
23:19Like someone who lives alone?
23:20No, it's sad.
23:21No.
23:21No.
23:22It's something based on this
23:23where like...
23:24Oh.
23:25I don't know,
23:25where like their grandkid
23:27inherits this house
23:28and then has a bunch
23:29of roommates that's about
23:29like chosen family
23:31and that sort of thing.
23:32You know, reboots
23:33are really sellable.
23:35Existing IP is very, very good.
23:37It could actually be
23:37about something, you know?
23:39They could be grappling
23:39with the fact that like
23:40our generation is like
23:41never going to find
23:42the success that our parents
23:43found, but like
23:44what does that success mean
23:45and like how do we
23:46redefine it, you know what I mean?
23:47Like community building,
23:49like downward mobility.
23:50Yeah, but funny.
23:51Yeah.
23:52I think that's really good.
23:53I think if you can do
23:54a read with us about something,
23:55that could be excellent.
23:57You should definitely
23:57flesh it out
23:57and pitch it to Jessica.
24:00Debra doesn't have
24:00the rights though.
24:01That's okay.
24:02I'll look into it.
24:03Okay.
24:04Okay.
24:05I like that.
24:06I think it's good.
24:08So do you need
24:08something, Gina, or...
24:09I got myself in a mess.
24:10Oh, okay.
24:14Frank, thank you so much
24:15for sitting with us.
24:17Uh, my name is
24:18the first name
24:18of the year,
24:19and I love to get
24:20back at a very beginning
24:21and talk about
24:22your first sitcom.
24:23What do you think
24:24made Who's Making Dinner
24:25such a groundbreaking show?
24:27Well, you know,
24:28we weren't trying
24:30to be groundbreaking.
24:31We were making a show
24:34about our relationship.
24:36And, um,
24:38the only reason
24:38people even paid
24:40attention to it
24:41was because
24:42it was funny.
24:43And you two
24:44had never worked
24:44in TV before,
24:45so how did you know
24:46that what you were making
24:47was funny?
24:49because of Debra.
24:53Debra.
24:54Debra was
24:55the funny one.
24:58She was always
25:00the funniest person
25:03in any room.
25:11And as you transitioned
25:13into producing
25:14game shows,
25:15what was your
25:16inspiration for...
25:32Hey.
25:35You okay?
25:40No.
25:41Yeah, because he bombed super hard.
25:44It was rough.
25:49That's what Frank said.
25:53But he said you were the funny one.
25:55I feel like that would be nice to hear, no?
25:58It was.
25:59That's the problem.
26:05It's been 50 fucking years.
26:08Why do I still need to hear that?
26:12Why should I care about what some kid who I met
26:14when I was 18 years old thinks about me?
26:18It's pathetic.
26:22Yeah. I mean, I get that.
26:26Sometimes there's just one person we want to impress.
26:34Yeah.
26:35I have to ask.
26:39What was the mess that Gina was getting into in that episode?
26:44Was there chaos?
26:45Did hijinks ensue?
26:47We didn't get to find out.
26:49I'll tell you in the car.
26:58Okay.
27:00Oh, my God.
27:01I always want to be like, you don't have to run.
27:03There's no rush.
27:04I like it when they run.
27:07Deborah Vance.
27:08Yes?
27:09I've got to call you Violet at a restraining order tonight.
27:12I need you to come with us.
27:13Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
27:15Nope.
27:15You're actually going to arrest me?
27:17Yep.
27:17I'm sorry.
27:18She wasn't even funny tonight.
27:20That was barely even comedy.
27:22Let's go.
27:22No!
27:23Yes.
27:23No!
27:24Do you know where I keep my bail cash?
27:26Yeah, in Vegas, it's underneath the bathroom sink.
27:29But where is it in L.A.?
27:31Deborah, where is it in L.A.?
27:33Call Josefina!
27:36Watch the hair!
27:37What?
27:38Fuck shit!
27:40You!
27:41Billy!
27:42Pick up the paint!
27:52What are you in for?
27:55Stand-up comedy.
27:57You?
27:59Shoplifting from Macy's.
28:01Oh.
28:02That's really wrong.
28:04If you're going to shoplift, make a Neiman Marcus.
28:13What are you in for?
28:15I, uh...
28:16I got a DUI.
28:17Oh, honey.
28:19I'm going to get you an Uber account.
28:21Well, at least a pair of rollerblades.
28:23Jesus!
28:27You know, it's not my first time in jail.
28:29I mean, I, uh, was in actor jail once.
28:31I did a Lifetime movie called
28:32A Prayer for Mommy's Slippers.
28:35I was guilty for not running when I heard the title.
28:46Hi.
28:47I'm here for Dever Vance.
28:50Is that enough?
28:52That's right.
28:53That's right.
28:53I've been cuffed before.
28:54But it usually involves some boundaries and a safe word.
28:58Oh, she now is so afraid.
29:02Dever Vance.
29:03Dever Vance.
29:03Made bail.
29:04Oh!
29:05That's my time!
29:10Oh, hey.
29:11Can I bail out my friends here?
29:12You got the cash.
29:13All right.
29:14What do you need?
29:15500 for me!
29:158,000!
29:1620,000!
29:17Damn.
29:18What did you do?
29:19I punched a police horse.
29:21Oh, Jesus.
29:22Come on!
29:22Let's go!
29:27So how was it in there?
29:28Was it bad?
29:29It was amazing.
29:32Really?
29:33Frank was right.
29:34Don't walk.
29:35The only reason that people paid attention to Who's Making Dinner is because it was funny.
29:39But that's what I need to be focusing on with my garden show.
29:42It doesn't need to be important.
29:44It just...
29:46It just needs to be funny.
29:47Yeah.
29:48I mean, I feel like I said that, but then a man said it louder, but it's okay.
29:53I'll just repress it and make me funnier in the long run.
29:56I'm sorry I didn't listen.
29:58I have just been consumed by my anger.
30:02I didn't see the forest for the trees.
30:05I mean, what people are going to remember is if I made them laugh.
30:09Yes!
30:10Exactly what I was saying.
30:11Love.
30:11Yep.
30:12Great.
30:14Hey!
30:14Who's hungry?
30:16Yeah!
30:17Okay, let's go to Norm's.
30:18I want to try out more material.
30:20Okay.
30:21Good idea, right?
30:21Yeah.
30:22Yeah, it's been a real pleasure sharing an open toilet with you ladies.
30:25Aww.
30:27But Bethany, I'm a little concerned about the color of your peep.
30:29I know.
30:30It's all good!
30:31Yeah!
30:32Woo!
30:34Woo!
30:43Woo!
30:56Hey!
31:01Thank you!
31:13You've got it.
31:17Good idea.
31:21Thank you!
31:24Yeah!
31:25Come!
31:27I'm a bad old bastard who would love you. I'd better hit my heart for a job.
31:37I'm a bad old bastard who would love you. I'd better hit my heart for a job.
31:47I'd better hit my heart for a job.
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