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00:03¡Garfield and Friends!
00:48¡Garfield and Friends!
00:54Today, a look into our writer's joke file.
00:57That's right, we examine both jokes.
01:09Isn't it all amazing, guys?
01:11This is an exhibit of the latest scientific breakthroughs and inventions.
01:16Big, fat, hairy deal.
01:18Come on, Odester, let's case the snack bar.
01:23Boy, they have machines now that do everything but dance the can-can.
01:29Boy, they have machines now that do everything.
01:32What else do they got here?
01:34This is the device building.
01:36It builds a device, and then that device, in turn, builds another device.
01:39Then that device, in turn, builds another device.
01:41Then that device, in turn, builds another device.
01:43And then that device...
01:44My invention here is very expensive, and it does absolutely nothing.
01:48Why don't you jump the whole thing?
01:50Oh, I can't.
01:50I have too many government contracts to fill.
01:54This, then, would be to Sheckytron 3000, the world's first comedy-performing robot.
02:00Observe, if you will.
02:03What do you call a zero-based digital telesponder without a coil?
02:07Lucky.
02:08Hop, hop.
02:10How many amplified relocator units does it take to change a light bulb?
02:139.2.
02:15Oh, I am on a roll.
02:17You'd have to be pretty dumb to find this stuff funny.
02:219.2?
02:23Oh, that's so funny.
02:27I rest my case.
02:29I have to have one of these for my home.
02:32I wonder how much they are.
02:33Excuse me, but how much is one of these robots?
02:36The price is right on this sign.
02:37Assume John catching positions.
02:40That's the price?
02:41But I...
02:43Nice catch.
02:46That's an outrage.
02:47I can do it myself in my garage for half the price.
02:51Uh-oh.
02:51Well, that's what he said when they told him he had to have his appendix out.
02:57That much for a simple comedy robot.
02:59Ha!
02:59I'll show them.
03:00Oh, I hope this turns out better than the home appendectomy.
03:04Install merthometer next to whimsy filter.
03:07Facing away from pun generator.
03:09Then...
03:11Install irony modulator.
03:13Huh.
03:13Building a comedy robot is a cinch.
03:16Okay, let's get this over with.
03:17There you see, on the brochure, the very expensive comedy robot.
03:22For only pennies, I have made an exact duplicate.
03:36I think you just got your first laugh.
03:40You two won't be laughing when I turn my comedy robot on.
03:44Undoubtedly.
03:45Watch this.
03:51Now watch this.
03:52I'll press tell joke.
04:00Now that's funny.
04:02Stop laughing.
04:03I'll show you what it can do.
04:04I'll turn up the mirth control.
04:06Want to hear a knock-knock joke?
04:08Sure.
04:09You start.
04:10All right.
04:11Knock-knock.
04:12Who's there?
04:15What do you mean, who's there?
04:16What do you mean, who's there who?
04:18No, you're supposed to tell jokes.
04:24This is funnier than if the thing worked.
04:27I programmed every comedy record, tape, and CD in my library into this thing.
04:30Now I want some humor.
04:36What kind of comedy do you think it's about to do?
04:45The Low Kind.
04:46Heh, heh, thank you.
04:47You know how when a robot goes berserk, its tapes get all scrambled?
04:52You ever notice that?
04:55Isn't it sad you build a comedy robot and give it life?
04:59Then it goes nuts and destroys you.
05:03Okie dokie.
05:04Your time is up.
05:07Ah!
05:07Ah!
05:09Ah!
05:11Ah!
05:12Can you believe this?
05:13The robot has gone berserk and he's chasing you around your own property.
05:20Which way did they go?
05:21Which way did they go, George?
05:24Beep, click, they went that-a-way.
05:26Thank you very much.
05:27I think I fooled them for a few minutes.
05:30Would you believe?
05:31Ten seconds.
05:34Oh, you big crazy.
05:36I'm gonna give you such a hit.
05:47Oh, but I want to tell you, huh?
05:49Quick, tell me who's on first.
05:52I'm not asking you who's on first.
05:53I'm asking you who's playing second.
05:56And don't you tell me who's playing first.
06:00Garfield, are you alright?
06:03Oh, all that lemon meringue does wonders for my fur.
06:07There's only one way to stop a runaway comedy robot.
06:11It won't be pretty, but it has to be done.
06:14Huh?
06:17Insert sarcasm and adjust for worst possible timing.
06:29All done.
06:30How to build a heckler robot?
06:33A heckler robot?
06:37I programmed him with my own personal sarcasm.
06:41Don't sit too close to the TV.
06:43This could be dangerous.
06:45I can't believe this.
06:47I've turned on my master.
06:49The man who built me.
06:51Hey, you call yourself a robot?
06:52I've seen better circuits on popcorn makers.
06:56That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard.
06:59Oh, some impression.
07:01I'm just devastated.
07:02Oh, you're too close to me.
07:05How far should I be?
07:06You got a car?
07:09No, but I kid mechanical people.
07:12You know, you're very close to a piece of junk.
07:15Well, then I'll move away.
07:18You know how when a robot goes...
07:20Hey, is that your face or did someone rear-ended Edsel?
07:23Rambo, give it a hosta.
07:24Uh, isn't it sad you've got to kill me a robot?
07:27What's happening to my robot?
07:28Are you believing?
07:30Take cover.
07:31We're about to have a comedy explosion.
07:41Hey, I don't get no respect.
07:44I want to tell you.
07:45Take my wife, please.
07:55My comedy robot.
07:58What happened to him?
07:59I killed him, you jerks.
08:01Boy, you should have seen.
08:02I destroyed him, you morons.
08:04He went to pieces.
08:05I had him on the floor, you hockey punks.
08:07Now how do we get rid of him?
08:09I annihilated him.
08:10I cracked him up, you dummies.
08:31Carfield, what in the world do you think you're doing?
08:33Why, being your bungee buddy, you silly neener head.
08:37Neener, neener.
08:51Here comes my Grand Slam return, Orse.
08:56You'll have to do better than that, Roy.
08:59How's this, Wallerbrup?
09:02Orse?
09:03Orse?
09:04Calling Orson.
09:05Hello?
09:07Roy, I have the strangest feeling we've done this cartoon before.
09:11Maybe it's a rerun?
09:12No.
09:13When you have the feeling you're doing things you've already done, do you know what that's called?
09:17The rider running out of ideas?
09:18No.
09:19Because that happened halfway through the second season.
09:21It's called deja vu.
09:22You can't say that on a kid's show.
09:24It's not a dirty word, Roy.
09:26Well, if it isn't, it should be.
09:28Let's get back to badminton.
09:32What are those two yammering about?
09:34Not that I care as long as I get some nice juicy chickens to prick-a-see.
09:40Here we go, here we go, here we go.
09:43I'll make you and you and you and I must have you and definitely you.
09:48You and Eddie, you know it feels like I've done this before.
09:52Okay, Orse.
09:53On tippy-goes.
09:58Here comes my grand slam return, Orse.
10:02You'll have to do better than that, Roy.
10:04How's this, Waller-Brett?
10:08Didn't we do this already?
10:13It's... it's...
10:14Watch.
10:15Five bucks says he can't get my whole name out.
10:18It's the way, we, it's the way, we, it's the way, we, it's the way, we, we.
10:23Why don't you stay here and work on your vowel sounds?
10:26We, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we,
10:29we, we, we, we.
10:30And now all I have to do is get away with them chickens.
10:38It's... It's... It's the way... It's the way... It's the way... It's all...
10:45Déjà vu is when you get the feeling that you're experiencing events that you've experienced before.
10:49Sometimes over and over.
10:51Sounds like having cable TV.
10:54Wee-wa-ha! Wee-wa-ha-ha!
10:56What is it?
10:57Whatever is it starts with W.
11:00Wienerschnitzel.
11:00Waterfall.
11:01No, no, no.
11:02Wagon wheels.
11:03No, no, no.
11:04Woodwork?
11:04No, no, no.
11:05Weather?
11:06Weather me!
11:07Weasel!
11:08Oh, it's the weasel, yes!
11:10And I, Wade Duck, have done spotted the weasel!
11:14The weasel, huh?
11:15I thought it might be Woody Woodpecker, but I guess it's the wrong sh...
11:18The weasel!
11:20Let's go!
11:21Right behind you!
11:24I gotta get out of here.
11:26Things keep happening, which already happened.
11:31It's...
11:32It's...
11:33It's...
11:33Oh, not again!
11:35It's the wee-hey-hey.
11:36It's the wo-ho-ho.
11:38It's the wa-wa-wa-wa-wa.
11:39I have to change things around now.
11:41Hide the chickens here and run this way.
11:43Here we go.
11:44Here we...
11:44I must have you and definitely you and...
11:47I did this already!
11:49I already stole these chickens!
11:52I stole them and I hid them in a bush.
11:54That's right.
11:55I gotta go get them.
11:57Deja vu is when you get the feeling that you're experiencing events that you've experienced before.
12:01Sometimes over and over.
12:03You said that before and it still sounds like having cable TV.
12:07There's the bush I hid the chickens in.
12:11Badminton.
12:12Oh, no.
12:13They're not in there.
12:14Yes, we definitely seem to be having a lot of deja vu around here today.
12:18You keep saying that, but I don't see the weasel.
12:21Wade must have been wrong.
12:22Let's get back to badminton.
12:25What are those two yammering about?
12:28Not that I care as long as I get some nice juicy chickens to fricassee.
12:33Here we go.
12:34Here we go.
12:35Here we go.
12:36Here we go!
12:37I'll be you and you and all and you and I must have you and definitely you and...
12:42Oh, no!
12:43Oh, no!
12:44I'm back in this scene again.
12:47Ah!
12:48I can't take it.
12:49Doing the same thing over and over again.
12:54It's...
12:55Oh, no.
12:56It's...
12:57It's...
12:58Never again.
12:59I'm never coming back.
13:00But I keep coming back.
13:01But I stole those chickens three times.
13:03I...
13:04Ah!
13:05You can expect to be beaten again, pig.
13:08Well, that's possible.
13:10The past does have a way of repeating itself.
13:13You can expect to be beaten again, pig.
13:15Well, that's possible.
13:18The past...
13:19Does have a way of repeating itself.
13:39This cartoon's the story of a neighbor who has recently arrived.
13:46Making friends with him was quite a labor.
13:50I'm amazed that we survived.
13:53We went to get a little bit acquainted.
13:57And to welcome Mr. Block.
14:00When I heard the guy, I very nearly fainted.
14:04And my cat went into shock.
14:08Yes, I did.
14:10He had a slight obsession.
14:12He was filled with raw aggression.
14:14When he saw I had my pussycat along.
14:17While John just stood there gaping, I was thinking of escaping.
14:20As the man began his song.
14:29The Screeching and yelling and always rebelling.
14:33And that's why I hate a pussycat.
14:35Their litters aroma could bring on a coma.
14:38And that's why I hate a pussycat.
14:41Given the choice, I would rather have a dog.
14:44A cat just lies like a bump upon a log.
14:46But when a puppy is playing,
14:48A cat's disobeying and getting increasingly fat.
14:52¡Suscríbete al canal!
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20:34Oh, here's your typical afternoon
20:38Controversial TV
20:39Talk show guest
20:41Today I am presenting
20:43Someone you'll be resenting
20:44For you adore a show with hate that's loudly expressed
20:47And now I'm bringing you
20:48An exclusive interview
20:50With someone you'll detest
20:52This man despises cats so much
20:55You'll think he is nuts
20:56I know you won't change channels while he's spilling his guts
20:59Of all the angry folks I've had on
21:01He is the best
21:02Now here's your typical afternoon
21:04Controversial TV
21:06Talk show guest
21:09Uh, yes
21:14This is famed cat hater
21:17Theodore Block
21:18Mr. Block, would you tell our
21:20Viewing audience just how
21:22You feel about cats
21:27It's so reassuring when you hear
21:30One purring and that's why
21:32I love a pussy cat
21:33Now wait a minute, sir
21:34Their fur is like ermine
21:35They got us from vermin
21:37And that's why I love a pussy cat
21:39We advertise hatred today
21:40There are some people who'd rather have a dog
21:42It's sweet, sweet
21:43That kind of thinking
21:44Just leaves me all agon
21:45Here go my ratings
21:46But when a puppy is yapping
21:47A kitty is napping
21:49You need one in every habitat
21:51That's why I love a pussy cat
21:54No one wants to watch nice things on daytime TV
21:57A cat will let you pet him and interrupt his nap
21:59But we'd rather
22:00No one need a peep
22:02And any time you let him
22:04He will sit upon your lap
22:05And he'll stay till your legs are fast asleep
22:08There is a pet shop with twenty cats or more
22:11I'm going to go down and buy out all in store
22:14You hug him
22:16And kiss him
22:16And frequently miss him
22:18The animal world's aristocrat
22:20That's why I love a pussy cat
22:25That's your new master
22:27What do you think?
22:28Well, I kind of like him
22:29I think he'll take good care of me
22:32Maybe long ago I even was his foo-foo
22:35Can't we do something about that name?
22:37They really impress you
22:39The way they caress you
22:40And that's why I love a pussy cat
22:42And even when tiny
22:45They keep themselves shiny
22:46And that's why I love a pussy cat
22:49There are some people who'd rather have a fish
22:51What good's a pet who just swims around the dish?
22:55But while a fish keeps you waiting
22:57A cat's fascinating
22:58The whole world should hear my message that
23:01That's why I love a pussy cat
23:09Here
23:43How did you find a
23:45Have a pussy cat
23:45I agree
23:45I hate you
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