- 4 hours ago
First broadcast 16th/23rd March 1986.
Geoffrey Palmer - Harold Stringer
Robert Hardy - Russell Spam/Twiggy Rathbone
John Horsley - Father Teasdale
Geoffrey Hutchings - Max Rutherford
Richard Kane - Greg Kettle
John Gordon Sinclair - Bill Tytla (as John Gordon-Sinclair)
Neil McCaul - TV Director
Malcolm Mudie - Cardinal Fisk
Cory Pulman - Mrs Sankey
Pamela Miles - Sister
Geoffrey Greenhill - Keith
Michael Stainton - Kuznetsky
Aubrey Morris - Kubelsky (archive footage)
Sarah Mortimer - Sharon Chandler
Josie Kidd - Mrs Chandler
Jack Watling - PM MacNamara
Eliza Buckingham - Mrs MacNamara
Nadine Marshall - Little Girl
Julia Dearden - Teacher
Paddy Navin - Nurse
Nick Owen - Self - TV-am Presenter
Geoffrey Palmer - Harold Stringer
Robert Hardy - Russell Spam/Twiggy Rathbone
John Horsley - Father Teasdale
Geoffrey Hutchings - Max Rutherford
Richard Kane - Greg Kettle
John Gordon Sinclair - Bill Tytla (as John Gordon-Sinclair)
Neil McCaul - TV Director
Malcolm Mudie - Cardinal Fisk
Cory Pulman - Mrs Sankey
Pamela Miles - Sister
Geoffrey Greenhill - Keith
Michael Stainton - Kuznetsky
Aubrey Morris - Kubelsky (archive footage)
Sarah Mortimer - Sharon Chandler
Josie Kidd - Mrs Chandler
Jack Watling - PM MacNamara
Eliza Buckingham - Mrs MacNamara
Nadine Marshall - Little Girl
Julia Dearden - Teacher
Paddy Navin - Nurse
Nick Owen - Self - TV-am Presenter
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:03Uh, hi there, readers. Are you getting it regularly?
00:09Then why not let me pop mine through your letterbox?
00:12David Crucible I'm talking about. It's tops for news and sport, and it's...
00:16Make-up. Are you sure there's nothing we can do about the nose?
00:22Maybe if we try changing lenses.
00:24It's looking great, Harry!
00:27You take the cameras like a duck to water.
00:30Oh, I still say you should be doing this commercial, Russell. I'm not at all...
00:32You're the managing editor, Harry. You're the man who commands trust and respect.
00:37Shit, try, uh, try shining a light up his nostrils.
00:42Move on to the next speech, Mr. Springer.
00:44Now remember, the pickling jar is coming in from the right, okay?
00:48Yes, I think our pickling jar, what pickling jar?
00:50Going in, three, two, one, action.
00:54Yes, um, the Crucible has always been a paper with a heart.
00:58Well, now we're a paper with kidneys, too.
01:01Every day this week, we're giving away one of these six human kidneys to patients with chronic rheumatoid.
01:07Simply fit in the human kidneys?
01:11You told me we were giving away a mini-metra.
01:14BL pulled out, Harry.
01:16We thought this one had greater human interest.
01:18I don't believe it.
01:20Oh, sorry, Harry. I thought you knew.
01:21We did discuss it at last week's conference.
01:24Oh, that must have been the afternoon you were caught in the revolving door at Selfridges.
01:27My God, Father's Russell, if we put this up, there'd be a national outcry.
01:31I can personally guarantee it.
01:34I want this whole idea spiked immediately.
01:36I agree, Harry.
01:37Only a man with your breadth of vision could point out the insensitivity of giving away human kidneys in a
01:44newspaper.
01:45Spike it, we shall.
01:47I've never seen anything like it in my life.
01:49Hold it like that, Mr. Springer.
01:51The nose looks great.
01:54According to the latest information, gentlemen, 378 Catholic churches are now on strike in sympathy.
02:01And yesterday, police stopped nine coachloads of flying Jesuits on their way to the door.
02:08Time has come for a messianic figure to step in and mediate.
02:13And that is why I, Terence Rathbone, have pledged my services night and day until a settlement is reached.
02:19Night? That's when it happens.
02:20Night? That's when I turn into a werewolf.
02:23The secret your newspaper has done to him is a nervous wreck.
02:28Take that string of garlic off your neck, Father.
02:31That's for vampires.
02:35You say you want to help us reach a compromise, Mr. Rathbone.
02:39But I don't...
02:39Compromise is the heaving buttock in the thrust of my argument card.
02:44The strikers are demanding St. Ninian's be kept open.
02:48You are determined it shall close.
02:50Only a man steeped in the supreme subtleties of diplomacy could hope to find a way out.
02:57Gentlemen, we have found a way out.
03:00Since the dispute is over, St. Ninian's will remain open.
03:03I have personally put the church in touch with an anonymous businessman who has generously agreed to donate £80,000
03:11for the upkeep and maintenance of the building.
03:13Of course, I'm unable to divulge the identity of this mystery benefactor.
03:17But I have here a short statement issued on his behalf.
03:21I am proud to give this £80,000 without your course to any cheap public relations exercise.
03:28For cheap public relations exercises are the speaky lino in the corridors of power.
03:37And now, gentlemen, perhaps you'd care for a picture of the three of us together.
03:40If we could just...
03:41Where's Teasley?
03:52Oh, I'm sorry, your emeralds.
03:58It was the only way.
04:02Where have you hidden it, Russell?
04:04Where's the announcement about the kidneys?
04:06In the small ads, used kidney for sale, only one previous ad.
04:12Harry, it's your droll quips that make working on this paper a constant joy.
04:19What have you got, Max?
04:20Well, there's this computer break-in.
04:23It's quite interesting.
04:24Special branch has this top-secret third-generation computer installed for personal surveillance,
04:30phone tapping, general invasion of privacy.
04:33National Council for Civil Liberties broke in to try and sabotage a thing.
04:37Found somebody else who got there first.
04:40Wires pulled out the lot.
04:41I'm not dancing a jig on the desk with excitement, Max.
04:46Well, there's Father Teasdale impaling himself on a meat skewer at lunch this morning.
04:51What?
04:52There's the splash, everyone.
04:55Ted the Red in Hartspear deathbed.
04:57Wolfman fears prompt preachers panic poke at peace talks.
05:02Craig's down the hospital now, keeping a 24-hour vigil.
05:05Any development seal ring, strike through here.
05:07Oh, my God.
05:29You took your time, didn't you?
05:31You should lose some weight.
05:35What do you want?
05:36A Majesty's Press.
05:37Yes, I'm afraid I shall have to commandeer this phone.
05:40And I'll thank you not to eavesdrop on my conversation.
05:42I've little time for snoopers.
05:44Copy?
05:45Greg Kettle, I've got the Teasdale story.
05:48Catch line, bloodbath.
05:50Maniac Marxist Red Ted Teasdale was today critical in the hospital
05:55after driving a wooden stake through his heart
05:58in a dramatic bloodbath of guts and pork.
06:01Now, keep it down, will you?
06:04After consideration for others,
06:07the shock suicide attempt came seconds after a...
06:10Look, I won't tell you again.
06:13After a brilliant 11th-hour settlement to the church dispute,
06:17engineered by the crucible's proprietor, Mr Terence Rathburn.
06:20It's all right, Mrs Sanky.
06:22Don't worry.
06:23It's all right.
06:24Come in this time, sister.
06:26When I spoke to the Pope this morning,
06:28I told you to get out when I saw you in the operating theatre.
06:35Now, will you?
06:36Hello?
06:38Cage, Dr Martin.
06:39It's Mrs Sanky.
06:40The multiple birth's on its way.
06:43Hurry!
06:48Come on, Sharon.
06:49Open up, will you?
06:53Come on.
06:53You're not afraid of that dickhead, Keith, are you?
06:56The same kind of brain damage that they're using to try and...
07:06Hello, Keith.
07:08I'm just talking about you, funnily enough.
07:12You've got balls, titler, I'll say that.
07:14I take it you want to keep them?
07:18Well, if it's convenient, Keith.
07:26I don't know what fairy tales you've been hearing from our friend's sore throat,
07:31but you can take it from me.
07:32There's not an ounce of truth in any of it.
07:34Well, I'm not so...
07:38Not an ounce of truth in any of it.
07:40Forty chips in the memory circuits, you see, Mr Titler?
07:44May it go haywire.
07:46Everything you heard from that computer was the product of a malfunction.
07:50You understand me?
07:51A computer?
07:53Jesus.
07:56Malfunction of God, you!
07:57Good.
07:58I do hope we understand each other now, Mr Titler,
08:01because if I catch you snooping around here once more,
08:04you'll find out what brain damage is really about.
08:09Oh, and that's number six.
08:14Are they all right, sister?
08:16They're fine, Mrs Sanky.
08:18Six lovely, healthy little babies.
08:21Wait!
08:22I think I can see another one in there.
08:26There's one more there.
08:28I can definitely see it.
08:30What are you doing here?
08:31Get down to the room!
08:32Mrs Sanky, I wonder if you could just talk us through that last one again.
08:36No!
08:38Then when I got back to the office,
08:40I found this letter from Sharon Chandler.
08:46Since you won't stop bothering me, Mr Titler,
08:49I have decided to leave the country.
08:50I am flying to Bangladesh to work as a nurse in Batpara,
08:55where there has just been a major outbreak of food poisoning.
08:58And Batpara, isn't that where...
09:01Mr Rathbone handed out six million rat-vite chocolate bars.
09:07Look, with respect, Bill,
09:08there's one area of this case we've so far overlooked.
09:11Who'd have a motive to kill Kubelski?
09:13Who'd have a motive to kill Kubelski?
09:15Yes.
09:17It's not to be someone who thought he was Khrushchev.
09:19Someone who didn't want him to spell out a load of secrets
09:22that might be embarrassing to the Russians.
09:24Exactly.
09:24What I can't get out of my head, though,
09:26is the last thing sore throat said to me.
09:29Who do you know with the power that influence the money?
09:36Who?
09:39That's what I said, Russell.
09:40A major, multi-million-pound contract with the Soviet Union.
09:43Well, Rathouse International of today
09:46reached agreement with Moscow
09:48to supply them with rat-kola mineral drinks
09:51to the end of the century.
09:53Only a shrewd businessman like yourself
09:56could have pulled it off his to Rathbone.
09:58That's not for me to say, Russell.
10:01And own the daily crucible lock, stock and barrel as I do it,
10:04but be wrong for me to advise you how big to run the story.
10:09Suffice it to say that it marks a sensational new boost
10:12to East-West d'etat.
10:15Not content with bringing peace to major industrial disputes,
10:19you now bring hope to humanity, sir.
10:21The world's cast deserves a man of your calibre.
10:25Tell this tin of rat-kola with my compliments, Russell.
10:30I'm not worthy to drink it, sir.
10:32I'll treasure it all.
10:34No, I've told you.
10:37I'm not interested.
10:39Now listen, Mrs Sankey.
10:40How long do you think you'll be able to provide
10:43for six little ones like that on your wages from a wimpy bar?
10:47I think you should reconsider my offer.
10:50No.
10:51Look, for the last time,
10:55I don't want to sell my children to a newspaper.
10:58Mrs Sankey, perhaps I haven't made my position totally clear.
11:03We are prepared to offer you this sum.
11:07I don't care what.
11:14She actually signed this, Greg.
11:16And you'll see that I've inserted
11:18a 12-month guarantee clause, Russell.
11:20So if any of the babies die,
11:22she has to give us a refund.
11:25Bash it all out, Greg.
11:27This is tomorrow's front two and three.
11:29Well, I've heard her buying the mother's story,
11:31but buying the babies...
11:33It's all a scoop, Max.
11:35What are we going to do with six babies?
11:38Bam!
11:39Um...
11:40Harry who?
11:42Harry!
11:43How did the dentist appointment go?
11:48You what?
11:49Trapped in a telephone box.
11:51Well, can't you?
11:54Some idiot lorry driver's parked on the pavement
11:57right up against the door.
11:59No, he can't get out and he's only got 110 pp's.
12:02What's that, Harry?
12:03Well, can't you...
12:05Oh, no.
12:06Oh, he didn't even have time to say where he was.
12:10You didn't answer me, Russell.
12:12What the hell are we going to do with six babies?
12:16Six little miracles.
12:17They kept at the hearts of the nation.
12:19Now, exclusively through the crucible,
12:21one of the Sankey sex duplets can be yours.
12:23I don't believe it.
12:25Yes!
12:25No one can believe it,
12:26but it's true.
12:28Every day this week,
12:28we're giving away a super sex duplet
12:30to one of our readers.
12:31I've never seen anything like it in my life.
12:33Yes!
12:34It's baby freebies all this week
12:35in the crusading crucible.
12:37Just write to us,
12:38including proof of sterility,
12:40and the first six childish couples
12:41out of the sack
12:42will take home a toddler.
12:43I can personally guarantee it.
12:45The crucible!
12:46The PayPal with integrity!
12:53What can I say, Harry?
12:55When you said spike the babies,
12:57I thought you meant
12:58ram them all onto metal spikes!
13:00How could you do it, Russell?
13:03Your word is my command, Harry.
13:05They're going to hang me for it, Russell.
13:07What tragic loss to the world of journalism, Harry?
13:10No final newspaper man
13:12ever walked the earth.
13:14But I didn't kill them, Russell.
13:15You did.
13:16It wasn't me.
13:17It wasn't me.
13:18I didn't kill them.
13:20Harry, wake up!
13:23Where am I?
13:24You just passed out, Harry.
13:26Must have been that six and a half hours
13:28you spent stuck in a telephone box yesterday.
13:31You were starting to say something
13:33about the Sankey sex duplet.
13:36Sex duplets?
13:39Sex duplets?
13:40Oh, my God, Russell.
13:42What have you done?
13:43It's an outrage.
13:44Russell's found something.
13:45Giving away babies.
13:46It's worse than kidneys.
13:49I agree, Harry.
13:50We'll spike them at once.
13:51Yes, you do that.
13:53No, don't spike them at once.
13:54What do you want to do?
13:55Just give them back to their mother, Russell.
13:58Just give them back to their mother.
13:59Give them back?
14:01But the Crucible's just paid this sum for them, Harry.
14:06I don't care what, sir.
14:10All right, Harry.
14:12Yeah, thank you.
14:13I don't think there'll be any giving back just yet, Russell.
14:16Camdenbury Council have made an application
14:17to take the kids away from us
14:19and put them into local care.
14:21From now on, it's all in the hands of the law courts.
14:25Right!
14:31This is a historical day for us in the Soviet Union, Mr. Ratbone.
14:35What more could any civilized nation ask for
14:38than the chance to drink 500 billion gallons of rat cola?
14:45No, we have now truly entered the age of technology.
14:50Of all the merchandise that I produce, Mr. Kuznetsky,
14:56Ratcola is the apple of my eye.
14:59No other product gives me such a sense of pride or fulfillment.
15:03Not for me, think.
15:04Mm, that's what I mean.
15:07Harry, you'll have some more, won't you, Harry?
15:09Well, I don't think I've got room for any more.
15:11He can't get enough of it.
15:17Look, Mr. Ratbone,
15:19I wonder if I could have a private word with you.
15:22There's something I'm very worried about.
15:24Worry is the polluted trout in the stream of consciousness, Harry.
15:28Whatever it is, you can get it off your chest to me.
15:30Excuse us, gentlemen.
15:32Yes, it's, uh, Russell, sir.
15:35This time he's gone beyond the pale,
15:37buying newborn babies, for God's sake.
15:39And for this son.
15:41And now it's all going to be dragged through the courts.
15:43The crucible's name will be Mum.
15:45Something's got to be done about it.
15:47I agree, Harry.
15:50Fire him.
15:52What?
15:53Fire him.
15:54If you're not happy with his work, kick him out.
15:56Ooh, can I do that?
15:59You're the king of the castle, Harry.
16:01You reign supreme.
16:02You could have sacked him whenever you wanted.
16:03I didn't put Spam in that job
16:05as some mindless puppet to do my every bidding.
16:08If he's overstepped the mark, he'll have to go.
16:11Good Lord.
16:13Well, if it's as simple as that.
16:14Couldn't be simpler, Harry.
16:15We'll hold a special meeting
16:16of the board of Rathouse newspapers,
16:18convince them,
16:20and Spam will be out on his ear.
16:22You have my solemn, binding word on that.
16:36I'm off to have lunch for the board now, Max.
16:39Can't say too much at this stage,
16:41but I might have a spot of good news for you
16:42when I get back.
16:43Good news?
16:45No use to me, Harry.
16:46Got a paper to fill.
16:48That's some great, great news.
16:50Wait till Harry Stringer hears about this one.
16:52Oh, you've just missed him or so.
16:53Something broken?
16:54You tell Max what you just told me, Greg.
16:56Well, I've just come from court, Max,
16:57the care order hearing on the Sankey Sex Tuplets.
17:00Social Services Officer Mr. F. L. Wilkie
17:02testified that upon calling at Mrs. Sankey's flat
17:04in Rhododendron Terrace
17:06to interview the husband,
17:08he found not Mr. Sankey,
17:10who it seems left home 15 months ago,
17:12but a gentleman known as Big Mick.
17:16Described in court
17:17as a cross between giant haystacks
17:19and a small brewery.
17:20Mr. Wilkie attempted to question the man
17:23about his viability
17:24as a kind, caring father
17:25for six newborn kiddies
17:27and was promptly escorted
17:28down three flights of stairs
17:29with the aid of a wretched spell.
17:32In short, Max,
17:33the babies would have gone back
17:35to live with a drunken psychopath
17:38if the crucible hadn't intervened.
17:39Now they'd be taken safely into care
17:41when no one can harm them.
17:43They'll owe their lives to the crucible.
17:46Bash it all out, Greg!
17:48Crucible averts barbaric baby-batter tragedy,
17:51J.P.'s praise press scoop tot deal
17:53of Sankey Six,
17:54cheap drunken thug dad's raging rampage.
17:57This is a story even Harry Stringer
17:59will be proud of.
18:00The members of the board
18:02are all here, Harry.
18:03They'll back you to the hilt.
18:05I feel it in my bones.
18:07I'm very grateful to you, sir.
18:09Thank you, sir.
18:16I can't wait.
18:39So there you have it, gentlemen.
18:41It would be no travesty of the truth,
18:44I think,
18:45to say that Harry Stringer
18:47is the greatest newspaper man
18:49who ever drew breath.
18:51If a nuclear bomb were to fall
18:52on this man's head tomorrow,
18:54the world would never see his life again.
18:58The decision is yours.
18:59Of course, you as non-partisan objective observers
19:02must weigh up the evidence
19:03without share of favour
19:05and that's hardly according to its meaning.
19:08I hear what you say, Twiggy,
19:10that it seems that this man Stringer
19:12has a good deal to answer for himself.
19:15I agree.
19:16Look at the things he's done
19:17since he took over as managing editor.
19:20Introduced pictures of wobbling breasts
19:22against Spam's express wishes.
19:25Fell for a massive hoax
19:26by believing a mental patient
19:28was Mr. Khrushchev
19:29refused to publish front-page apology
19:32after his own paper
19:33had called the local priest
19:34a werewolf.
19:36The same place
19:37who now lies critically ill
19:39with a meat skewer to his heart.
19:41And to cap it all.
19:43He's actually been ordering Spam
19:45to return these babies to their parents
19:47in spite of the fact
19:48that the father is a homicidal junker
19:51who'd probably dash their heads
19:52against a brick wall
19:53as soon as look at them.
19:57So,
19:58all those in favour
20:00of Harry's suggestion
20:01that we dismiss Spam
20:02as editor.
20:10It is all there.
20:12Letters,
20:13diaries,
20:14everything.
20:15They'd better be.
20:16How much did we say?
20:18Give them to him from me.
20:21A friend of a friend.
20:23It is enough.
20:43Hello.
20:44Yes, I've got them, sir.
20:46Do you want me to bring them personally,
20:47or shall I...
20:49Right, I'll use the normal channels
20:50and then we can...
20:53Oh, look.
20:56I think I'd better ring you back.
21:05Stand up, Mr. Titler.
21:13Try not to bleed too much,
21:15won't you, Mr. Titler.
21:17He does make such a nasty mess
21:19on the carpet.
21:43This way.
21:44Come on.
21:47Now,
21:48this is what we call
21:49the sub-editor's desk.
21:51This is where we write
21:52all the headlines.
21:53Now,
21:54a headline has to be
21:55short and snappy,
21:56but nice and clear
21:58so everyone can understand
21:59what it means.
22:00You see?
22:02Wog-jibe-race-chief-slam's
22:04glue-sniff-coma-girl quiz game.
22:07Wog-jibe-race-chief-slam's...
22:10This one.
22:12Slow-flow-mail-row-boss
22:14wrapped in green paper.
22:17Has anybody got any questions?
22:19Yes?
22:20Why don't you resign now?
22:22Why, still got some integrity left?
22:25Let's face it, Max,
22:26when an eight-year-old schoolgirl
22:27starts to notice,
22:28I think the time has come
22:29for me to move on.
22:31As a matter of fact,
22:33I've had a very tempting offer
22:34from the States.
22:36First, a senior lecturer
22:37in media and communication studies
22:39at the University of Boston.
22:41Well, the money's good,
22:42and they want me to start
22:42next semester.
22:45Funny, isn't it?
22:46How a casual remark
22:47from a little girl
22:48can finally make up
22:49your mind for you.
22:53There you are,
22:54a nice bag of sweeties,
22:55and don't eat them all at once.
22:59Oh, night,
23:02when it happens,
23:05I turn into a werewolf.
23:10Nurse, nurse.
23:20You rind,
23:22Father Teasdale.
23:24I can't seem to breathe,
23:27nurse.
23:28Well,
23:29we shouldn't go driving
23:30wooden stakes
23:31through our hearts now,
23:32should we, Father?
23:34Perhaps you have a temperature.
23:40Good one, my.
23:41You have to look fine.
23:42Now, let's try one
23:43with the thermometer now.
23:45Good way.
23:45What's happening?
23:47No cause for alarm, Father.
23:48It's all quite official.
23:50Perhaps it's time
23:51I revealed
23:52my true identity.
23:54Yes,
23:55it is,
23:56great people
23:57have managed his breasts.
23:58A minor masquerade
24:00as a senior osteopath
24:01after help
24:01gave me admission.
24:03Could we try
24:04a few goose shots
24:05now, do you think?
24:14Now,
24:15there's nothing
24:15to worry about,
24:17Father.
24:17You woke,
24:18killed.
24:20It was just
24:21the tonic
24:22the critically ill
24:23cleric needed,
24:24point,
24:24new par.
24:25Vivacious nurse
24:26Samantha,
24:27by Vicky,
24:2921,
24:29a strawberry blonde
24:30from Bethelden,
24:31comma,
24:31said,
24:32quotes,
24:33I always prescribe
24:34a little saucy thumb
24:35for my patients.
24:36It's the best medicine
24:37there is,
24:38point,
24:38close quote.
24:39Picture on its way.
24:41All right, Bill.
24:43So,
24:43whoever Keith called up
24:44on that phone
24:45to say he'd got
24:46these documents...
24:46Has got to be
24:47Mr. Big.
24:48The one who got
24:49Sharon Chandler
24:50to bump off
24:50Kubelski
24:51and the one
24:51who is now
24:51paying everyone
24:52to keep their mouth shut.
24:54Speculation, Bill.
24:55When am I going
24:56to get some hard facts?
24:57Huh?
24:59Prince Harry
25:00has a small red pimple
25:01on his left buttock.
25:03A palace spokesman
25:05confirmed today.
25:07Hard fact!
25:09One star George Michael's
25:11live-in lover
25:12had a great-uncle
25:13who was Hitler's
25:14chiropodist.
25:17Hard fact!
25:18All I hear on this one
25:20so far is guesswork.
25:21These documents
25:22aren't guesswork, Russell.
25:24They could be the key
25:25to the whole story.
25:27We need a fast
25:27translation, Bill.
25:29Someone we can trust.
25:29I'll get straight
25:30on to it.
25:32Incidentally, Harry,
25:33I'm sorry to hear
25:34you're leaving us.
25:35Mind you, I think
25:36you made a wise
25:37career decision.
25:38Henceforth,
25:39you'll impart
25:40your treasure trove
25:41of knowledge
25:41to a whole new generation.
25:42The genius of Harry Stringer
25:44belongs not to
25:45the crucible
25:45but the world.
25:46No finer pressman
25:48ever graced
25:49the hallowed portal.
25:50Oh, piss off.
25:55So, having had time
25:57to reflect on
25:58your sins, Father,
26:00you now repent
26:01your old Marxist ways,
26:02do you,
26:03and sort of pray
26:05to God for forgiveness?
26:06Let's go.
26:07Fine.
26:08Well, thank you
26:09for this most
26:09illuminating interview.
26:11I hope you get well soon.
26:15You murdered him?
26:18The man you thought
26:20was Khrushchev?
26:22The old man?
26:24You murdered him?
26:27You knew,
26:29as a trained nurse,
26:31that the injection
26:32would prove fatal.
26:33Yes, you are right
26:35to confess, my child,
26:36but I cannot grant absolution.
26:39You must own up.
26:42It is wrong
26:43to try to protect
26:45this man.
26:46What man?
26:47Wrong to protect him.
26:49Which man?
26:50Protect who?
26:52Good afternoon, Harry.
26:53I just dropped by
26:54for no reason in particular
26:55to make sure
26:56everything's okay.
26:57No problems, I trust.
26:59I've decided to resign,
27:01Mr. Raffman.
27:01Problems are the mouthful
27:03of pips
27:03in the fruit
27:04of a man's labors.
27:06Ever since you
27:07became managing editor,
27:08the crucible
27:09has forged ahead
27:10of every other paper.
27:13And talking of forged papers,
27:15an anonymous source
27:16I was playing golf
27:17with this morning
27:18tells me there's
27:19some bunch of anarchists
27:21on the loose,
27:22circulating counterfeit documents
27:23to try and discredit
27:25certain well-known
27:26public figures.
27:28Look,
27:29I said I'm going to...
27:31What?
27:32Should the crucible
27:32come into possession
27:33of this bundle of dupery,
27:35I'd hate to feel
27:35we fell for it
27:37and took them
27:37at face value.
27:39I'm sure we'd consign
27:41them to the waste bin
27:42where they rightfully belong.
27:45What's all the cloak
27:46and dagger in aid of, Harry?
27:47Someone in the wind?
27:49I just want to be careful, Max.
27:51Now.
27:54Yes?
27:56Russell who?
27:58Russell, where are you?
28:01Locked in the executive dining room,
28:03and however did that happen?
28:06That's terrible, Russell.
28:08I'll get straight
28:08on to maintenance.
28:12Now then,
28:13let's look at what we've got.
28:16A man
28:17who to all intents and purposes
28:19is Nikita Khrushchev
28:20is murdered in a TV studio.
28:23Why?
28:23We don't know.
28:24But we think
28:25it may have been carried out
28:27by the staff nurse
28:28working on orders
28:30from someone up above.
28:30Now, until today,
28:32that was just a hunch.
28:33But now,
28:34thanks to what Greg tells me,
28:36there can't be any doubt.
28:37You knew as a trained nurse
28:39the injection
28:40would be fatal.
28:41Tisdale,
28:42in his delirium,
28:43was obviously
28:43reliving the moment
28:44when she admitted
28:45her grisly deed
28:46in the confession box.
28:47He also said,
28:49you must own up
28:50it's wrong
28:51to try and protect
28:52this man.
28:54But what man?
28:56So far,
28:57the only evidence
28:58we've got
28:58is a bundle of papers
28:59in Russian
29:00which are being
29:00translated now.
29:02Papers,
29:03this man
29:03was obviously
29:04desperate to get hold of.
29:07This afternoon,
29:08I had a visit
29:09from Citizen Rathbone.
29:11He knows
29:12we've got those documents
29:13and yet he was
29:15trying to palm them
29:15off as fakes.
29:17Now,
29:17why would he say
29:18a thing like that?
29:20Unless
29:22Christ.
29:24Rathbone.
29:25Well,
29:25look at his motive.
29:27a multi-million
29:28pound contract
29:29to sell
29:29Rathcola
29:30to the Soviet Union.
29:31Worth a fortune.
29:33Her negotiations
29:34were all too delicate
29:36and if Khrushchev
29:37had spilled out
29:38secrets that were
29:39embarrassing to Moscow,
29:40he could have
29:40blown the whole deal.
29:42If only we could get
29:43that nurse to go
29:44on the record,
29:44we'd have him.
29:45But she's left
29:46the country.
29:46She said so in her letter.
29:47She's gone to work
29:48in Bangladesh.
29:49Unless that's what
29:51she wanted us to think.
29:52Sure.
29:53So that we'd
29:53stop looking for her
29:54back here.
29:55How are you going to
29:55find Sharon Chandler
29:56now?
29:57It's impossible.
29:57She's gone into hiding
29:58to escape the press.
29:59The person has not
30:00yet been born,
30:01Max,
30:02who can escape
30:03the press.
30:04If she's still
30:05in Britain,
30:06we'll find her.
30:07The photograph.
30:09Her and an elderly
30:10couple.
30:10Her parents
30:11like us now to.
30:12They were in a garden.
30:14There was a big
30:15line behind them.
30:16A big white line
30:17carved on the side
30:18of a hill.
30:18Whipsnade Zoo.
30:20Get the bed's
30:21phone book.
30:22Check out every
30:23charter until you
30:23find them.
30:24Don't say who you
30:24are and then get
30:25out there.
30:26And don't show
30:26your faces in this
30:27office again until
30:28you've got the
30:28whole bloody story.
30:29I love it.
30:30And move in,
30:31for God's sake.
30:32All right,
30:33thanks.
30:34There's a Professor
30:35Irem G. Quigley
30:36in reception.
30:38Come to discuss
30:39your syllabus
30:39for the media
30:40studies course.
30:42I'll tell him
30:43to stop his
30:43bloody syllabus.
30:44I've got a
30:45newspaper to bring
30:46out.
31:01I'll go.
31:12good afternoon.
31:14Mrs. Grace
31:14Chandler?
31:15Yes?
31:16Greg Kettle,
31:16Her Majesty's Press.
31:18I wonder if I...
31:18talk to you,
31:19go away.
31:20Oh, what a pity.
31:21You see,
31:21I'm doing a feature
31:22on glamorous
31:23Grandmothers of
31:24the Chilterns.
31:25I will invite you
31:26to the Dorchester
31:27Hotel to have
31:28your photograph
31:28taken with
31:29Sylvester Stallone.
31:31And if you don't
31:32want to talk to
31:33the press,
31:33there we are.
31:34I'll bid you
31:35a good day.
31:36No, wait.
31:37Come back.
31:38I'll come with you.
31:40Let me just
31:40get my coat.
31:41I can't believe
31:42this.
31:43Sylvester Stallone
31:44at the Dorchester
31:45Hotel.
31:51Hello,
31:52Sharon.
31:55Great,
31:56Greg.
31:57Is Bill with an
31:57R?
31:59What?
32:01No, I don't know
32:01anyone who looks like
32:02Sylvester Stallone.
32:05Well, hang on a
32:06second.
32:07No.
32:10Well,
32:10just as your
32:11initiative,
32:11but keep her
32:12out of the way.
32:13First time lucky
32:14they've found her.
32:15I've got the
32:15translations,
32:16Harry.
32:17My God,
32:18is this a big one.
32:19What are they?
32:20Love letters
32:21and diaries,
32:21mainly.
32:22Evidence of a
32:23wild and stormy
32:24sexual relationship.
32:26Between?
32:28I think you'd
32:29better sit down,
32:29Harry.
32:30Poking,
32:31prying,
32:32hounding people.
32:33You never give up,
32:34do you?
32:35You're not
32:35kidding me,
32:36Sharon.
32:37You want us
32:37to publish this
32:38story.
32:38You want it
32:39more than
32:39anything else
32:40in the world.
32:40Oh, yes.
32:42You wanted us
32:42to print the truth
32:43about this
32:43right from the
32:44word go.
32:44That's why
32:45you rang us
32:45up in the
32:46first place.
32:46Only Big Keith
32:47shoved a gun
32:48up your nose
32:48to make sure
32:49you wouldn't
32:49talk.
32:51This is your
32:51last chance
32:52to unload it
32:52all,
32:53Sharon.
32:53Don't throw
32:54it away.
32:55Oh!
32:56Okay.
32:57Go on.
32:58Kill me.
32:59You want two
33:00murders in your
33:01conscience?
33:01Fair enough.
33:02That's up to
33:02you.
33:03Two murders?
33:05What are you
33:05talking about?
33:06We know you were
33:07forced into it,
33:08Sharon.
33:08The courts will
33:09take that into
33:09consideration.
33:11My God.
33:12You don't think
33:14I murdered the
33:15old man?
33:15We just want you
33:16to go on record.
33:17We know you've
33:18confessed it all to
33:18Father Teasdale.
33:20Confessed?
33:20I'm not even
33:21Catholic.
33:23Oh, my God.
33:27You don't know,
33:28do you?
33:29You really have no
33:30idea what actually
33:31happened.
33:32Six and a half
33:33hours trapped in a
33:34room with an
33:35hysterical waitress.
33:36Head to row for
33:37this match.
33:38Mark my words.
33:39Now, how are we
33:40off the copy?
33:41What's the splash?
33:42Wild baby in bum
33:43pimple sensation?
33:45I think we can
33:46now mock up a
33:47special picture.
33:49I've spiked the
33:50royal baby story,
33:52Russell.
33:52It was mindless
33:53pap.
33:56Really, Harry?
33:58Have you got
33:59something better?
34:00Uh, well, how
34:03does this sound?
34:05The wife of
34:06Prime Minister
34:06Gerald McNamara
34:07murdered a 75-year-old
34:09mental patient to
34:10protect her husband
34:10from a massive sex
34:11scandal.
34:14When he learnt of
34:15the crime, the
34:15Prime Minister
34:16himself ordered a
34:16ruthless cover-up
34:17operation to save
34:18his wife Iris from
34:19the gallows.
34:20Are you out of
34:21your mind, Harry?
34:22Bill's just come
34:23back with a full
34:23story.
34:24The nurse told him
34:25everything.
34:26Do you think it's
34:27good enough for the
34:27front, Russell?
34:28Or do we shelve it
34:29to make way for
34:29Frank Bruno's
34:30cookery column?
34:32I'm listening,
34:33Harry.
34:37In the 60s,
34:39Gerald McNamara
34:40was attached to
34:41the British Ministry
34:42of Defence.
34:43While in Moscow
34:44one year, he had
34:46a secret affair
34:47with a member
34:47of the Russian
34:48government, a
34:49Mr. Gregor
34:50Trechnikov.
34:51His wife found
34:53out but stood
34:54by him.
34:55Together, they
34:55managed to keep
34:56it a secret for
34:56over 20 years.
34:59Well, Trechnikov's
34:59now dead, but his
35:00diaries and his
35:02correspondence with
35:03McNamara, all in
35:04Russian, were
35:06passed to another
35:07lover, a Mr.
35:09Kuznetsky.
35:10Yeah, whom I
35:11met, concluding the
35:12rat-cola deal.
35:14The whole affair was
35:15dead and buried, and
35:17McNamara thought he
35:18was safe until one
35:19day we came along
35:21with Nikita Khrushchev.
35:23Now, as I'm sure you'll
35:25remember, Russell, Mr.
35:26Khrushchev was all set
35:27to reveal the sex
35:29secrets of the Kremlin.
35:32Mr. and Mrs.
35:33McNamara began to
35:33panic.
35:34If his past
35:35indiscretions were
35:36suddenly made public,
35:36it would be the end
35:38of his political
35:38career.
35:39And then, on March
35:41the 31st, Mrs.
35:43McNamara found herself
35:44with an amazing
35:45opportunity.
35:46She'd gone along with
35:47the Prime Minister to
35:48the television studios
35:49where he was recording
35:50an interview about the
35:51following day's
35:52hanging debate.
35:53As they were leaving,
35:55Mrs. McNamara remembered
35:56she'd left her scarf
35:57behind in the dressing
35:58room.
35:58She went back to find
36:00the room had now been
36:01allocated to yourself
36:02and Kubelski.
36:16By emptying the
36:18insulin files and
36:19filling them with water,
36:20she knew, as a
36:22former nurse herself,
36:23it would kill the man
36:24she believed was
36:25Khrushchev and save
36:27her husband's neck.
36:29Oh, sorry, I was
36:30just looking at her.
36:31I just popped back
36:32to fetch my scarf.
36:33I left it behind.
36:41Deprived of his
36:41insulin, the old man
36:43died a short while
36:44later.
36:45Mrs. McNamara told her
36:47husband what she'd
36:48done.
36:49And we also know she
36:50confessed to her family
36:51priest, Father
36:52Teasdale.
36:54Now, the Prime
36:55Minister, who didn't
36:57want to see his wife
36:57hanged, ordered a heavy
37:00from the special branch
37:01to go back the next
37:02night and destroy the
37:04only evidence, the
37:05remaining files of
37:06water.
37:07That was when Sharon
37:09first met Keith.
37:10She was warned to say
37:11nothing about it if she
37:12wanted to stay alive.
37:13After wrestling with her
37:15conscience, Sharon rang
37:16us.
37:17Unfortunately, her phone
37:18was being monitored by a
37:20sophisticated new
37:21computer at Scotland
37:21John.
37:23Five minutes later, Keith,
37:25the man in charge of the
37:26cover-up, was round at the
37:28flat, and he made sure
37:29that when Bill called,
37:31Sharon Chandler had nothing
37:32to say.
37:33What no one knew was the
37:35special branch computer had
37:37a conscience.
37:39After using a speechless
37:40synthesizer over the phone,
37:42it started to give Bill
37:43Titler tip-offs based on the
37:45information it was
37:46recording, until Keith found
37:48out and pulled all the
37:49plugs.
37:49And that was
37:51becoming a swive.
37:52In the meantime,
37:54McNamara was still trying
37:55to destroy all evidence of
37:56his homosexual powers.
37:59Kuznetsky, the man who
38:00had the letters, came over
38:02with the trade delegation to
38:03sign the Rat-Cola deal,
38:04and passed the documents
38:06to Keith, at which point
38:08we intercepted them.
38:11Now, it's not for me to
38:12speculate, Russell, that the
38:14Prime Minister may have used
38:15his influence with our
38:16proprietor to try and
38:17suppress these papers.
38:19I'm sure Mr. Rathburn has
38:20far too much integrity to
38:22interfere with the story,
38:23just for the sake of the
38:24peerage of the birthday
38:25on us, Liz.
38:26Have we put this to
38:28Downing Street yet?
38:29Bill's trying to get
38:30through now.
38:32Hello.
38:33Mr. McNamara.
38:35Look, yes, I'm sorry to
38:36trouble you at this hour,
38:37Prime Minister.
38:38I just wondered if we
38:39could have your comment on
38:40a story we're planning to
38:41carry in tomorrow's
38:42crucible.
38:45That your wife committed
38:47murder in order to save
38:48you from a scandal about
38:49your homosexual affair
38:50with a Russian diplomat.
38:55Prime Minister.
38:59Are you still there?
39:02And I'll have every one
39:03of your arses for
39:04breakfast.
39:06You print this pack of
39:07lies, and Jesus Christ
39:09Almighty, I'm getting on
39:10to my F for Freddy
39:11lawyers.
39:13And then I put the phone
39:14down.
39:15I think we can take that
39:17as a denial, Larry.
39:19It's all manner.
39:20The way he reacted.
39:21He's as guilty as hell,
39:22I know it.
39:24This is the most
39:24explosive thing since
39:26Hiroshima, Harry.
39:28If we're right, we shall
39:29make newspaper history.
39:30If we've got our facts
39:32wrong.
39:34Defamation, criminal
39:35libel, sedition, there's
39:36no telling what they're
39:37visitors with.
39:41Run the story.
39:51And welcome back on this
39:53morning of utter news
39:54sensation.
39:55I think we can actually
39:56talk now to the executive
39:57managing editor of the
39:59crucible, Mr. Harold
40:00Springer, who's currently
40:01in custody at Highbury
40:03Police Station, on charges
40:05of seditious libel.
40:08Can you hear me, Mr.
40:10Springer?
40:10Er, yes.
40:12Hello, Nick.
40:14Good morning.
40:15Mr. Springer, are you
40:15having second thoughts at
40:16all now about the wisdom
40:17of calling the Prime
40:19Minister's wife a murderer?
40:21Er, no, I stand by the
40:24story.
40:25You're still confident,
40:26are you, that your
40:27reporters have got it right
40:28and that you won't, say,
40:29spend the next ten years of
40:30your life behind bars in
40:31Parkhurst?
40:33Yes, I'm totally
40:34confident.
40:36And let me just say this,
40:37Nick.
40:41Though we seem, I'm afraid,
40:43to have lost Mr. Springer
40:44there, but we have been
40:44joined now by the
40:45proprietor of the
40:46crucible, Mr. Terence
40:48Rathburn.
40:48Mr. Rathburn, good morning
40:49to you.
40:50Now, I gather the first
40:51that you heard this quite
40:52astonishing story was when
40:53you got up this morning.
40:55It ill behoves me to lay
40:57down the law to the
40:58presence of this country,
40:59Nick.
41:01But I'm not ashamed to
41:03confess that I wept over
41:05my rat-brand fibre-rich
41:07breakfast plates.
41:09To see so fine and well-loved
41:12a national figure,
41:13pilloried and defiled for
41:15the sake of cheap
41:15sensationalism.
41:16It's shabby, tabloid
41:19journalism in its worst
41:21form.
41:22And shabby, tabloid
41:23journalism is the tongue
41:25down the back of the throat
41:26in the kiss of death.
41:31I'll have no truck with it
41:33and I utterly dissociate...
41:35I'm sorry, I'll just have
41:36to stop you there for a moment,
41:37Mr. Rathburn.
41:37We've just got some news
41:38coming in at the moment,
41:39in fact.
41:40That just a few moments ago,
41:42Mrs. McNamara broke down in
41:43tears and admitted that
41:44every word of the story is,
41:45in fact, true.
41:46Now, the Prime Minister has
41:47gone off to see the Queen.
41:50And MPs are calling for
41:52an emergency vote of no
41:53confidence in the government.
41:55And do you still dismiss
41:57the Crucible story,
41:58even after this?
42:00The Crucible story?
42:02I thought we were talking
42:04about the front page
42:05of the snoring sun.
42:09That Prince Harry has a
42:11pimple on his left body.
42:13And of course I stand
42:15by our story.
42:17I never doubted it
42:18for an instant.
42:23Crucible has this day
42:24rewritten history, Russell,
42:26thanks to the endeavours
42:27of one man.
42:29Harry Stringer bestrives
42:30our narrow minds
42:31like a colossus.
42:32He's the acme
42:33of journalistic perfection,
42:35in whose shadow
42:36we all pale.
42:37I agree, Russell.
42:39Future generations
42:40will scarce believe
42:41that such a man
42:42in flesh and blood
42:43did work in Gray's Inn Road.
42:44And now, if you'll
42:46forgive me,
42:47I have a luncheon
42:48appointment with the
42:49leader of the opposition,
42:50the Prime Minister
42:50designates,
42:51who wishes to reward us
42:54for services rendered.
42:55I understand the subject
42:57of the birthday honours list
42:58may not be excluded
43:00from the agenda.
43:02Well, then, Max,
43:04I think we...
43:05Hey!
43:06Harry?
43:07Harry who?
43:08Hey!
43:10What was that?
43:13Why, that's tragic, Harry.
43:16It appears that
43:18although he's officially
43:19released,
43:20they can't get the
43:21key to open
43:22his cell door.
43:23He's still trapped inside.
43:24Don't worry, Harry,
43:26we'll carry on
43:27without you.
43:28I can speak on Harry's behalf,
43:29whereas I like us
43:30two peas in a pod,
43:31he and I.
43:47And this is where
43:48they put all
43:49the naughty people.
43:54But now then, Max,
43:55what have we got
43:55for page five?
43:57Costa whiplash
43:59drugs den link
44:00to OAP orgy
44:02herpes scare.
44:05And across the top
44:07we can run
44:07Ken Barlow
44:08wig on rates
44:09shock
44:10sparks mass
44:11toupee claim
44:12crisis.
44:14And down the
44:15inside column,
44:16busty Brenda
44:17jilts
44:18Jim Slip
44:19judge
44:19for beer gut
44:20darts, ace.
44:21Do you know a picture
44:22on that one?
44:23Did you last
44:24a sweetie,
44:25Mr. Springer?
44:25I told you
44:26you'll must
44:27feed them.
Comments