- 4 hours ago
First broadcast 6th February 1978.
Hazell is on trail of a dodgy accountant, but he hadn't reckoned on dealing with a bunch of vicious thugs running a 'protection' scam.
Nicholas Ball - James Hazell
Roddy McMillan - 'Choc' Minty
Barbara Young - Dot Wilmington
Maggie Riley - Maureen
Freddie Jones - Dobson
Patsy Byrne - Mrs. Dobson
Alan Lake - Creasey
John Rhys-Davies - Graves
Pamela Stephenson - Gloria
Patrick Durkin - Jennings
Harry Landis - Jay
Sabu Kimura - Japanese
Fred Davis - Club Patron
Jim Delaney - Club Patron
Eden Fox - Club Patron
Hazell is on trail of a dodgy accountant, but he hadn't reckoned on dealing with a bunch of vicious thugs running a 'protection' scam.
Nicholas Ball - James Hazell
Roddy McMillan - 'Choc' Minty
Barbara Young - Dot Wilmington
Maggie Riley - Maureen
Freddie Jones - Dobson
Patsy Byrne - Mrs. Dobson
Alan Lake - Creasey
John Rhys-Davies - Graves
Pamela Stephenson - Gloria
Patrick Durkin - Jennings
Harry Landis - Jay
Sabu Kimura - Japanese
Fred Davis - Club Patron
Jim Delaney - Club Patron
Eden Fox - Club Patron
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Oh
00:33Here we are, folks. Fun city. Punter's paradise. All you need is money and let the good times roll.
00:40Failing that, roll the punters.
00:52Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Poor old Cyril Dobson. He was doing his usual thing.
01:06I want these moved now. Hey.
01:11Jay Burt's aspired towards respectability.
01:15That it wouldn't exactly hold you up by the heels and shake you under the floor.
01:19But it was odds on you'd still go out with empty pockets.
01:22Yeah, but it bounced them, didn't it?
01:23She's a big girl. She left the date off of the store.
01:28Sir, tell her the job, eh?
01:29I don't know. You had no answer. It's all scrapped.
01:32Good.
01:37James, have another...
01:40Didn't he got an open to go to?
01:41Did you know this is over, Punter's like it?
01:43What's a nice racket like this doing with a girl like you?
01:47Shaving up to buy a sheep station?
01:49Not much difference between clipping a mirror or shearing them back home.
01:52Hey, sport?
01:56Lambs to the slaughter.
01:58Hello, tiger.
02:00The geezer who fought the flag and lost was Mr. Jennings, the governor.
02:04And the bird in Shea Burt.
02:06When it came to worshipping money, he made Anasis look like an atheist.
02:10He only had one rule.
02:11A customer is always right.
02:13A right mug.
02:16Have you picked anything up yet, son?
02:18About 800 weight of bottles and possibly marbubonic plate from the rats in your back room.
02:24Right.
02:24But don't worry. They're all drunk.
02:26For 25 quid a day in exes, don't tell me jokes.
02:29Just tell me who's screwing me, right?
02:31Oh!
02:31Oh!
02:33Oops!
02:36How are we tonight, Mr. Dobson?
02:38Oh, uh...
02:39Tiddle.
02:40Tiddle!
02:42Tiddle!
02:43What a silly, isn't it?
02:44Tiddle.
02:47Oh, what?
02:50Oh.
02:52Oh.
02:59What?
02:59What?
03:00Last night's bill, sir.
03:02But there's no real Arriba.
03:03We've got to keep the books straight.
03:04You understand?
03:05Don't talk to me about books.
03:07That's all accountants ever do with their boring lives.
03:11Books!
03:12Phew!
03:14And so...
03:16Swore, Helen, I'll drink.
03:21Oh, it was it, uh...
03:22But, so, we'll make it an even hundred.
03:26Yeah.
03:26You have...
03:30Well...
03:36Could I, uh, pay the cash?
03:39Mm.
03:43Well, I...
03:43Um, um, um...
03:51Um...
03:51Uh, yeah.
04:00Um...
04:11Well, it don't look like an old sheik.
04:15If you find a mug, strangle him.
04:18Oh!
04:19If only everyone had your sense of humanity.
04:21Never mind it.
04:23I'm losing a long and a week here.
04:25Is there any other staff trying to put you in yet?
04:27Yeah.
04:28Interaction.
04:29Stick with it.
04:30I'm going to be very generous.
04:34I've got to go out.
04:35All right?
04:36All right.
04:36James, old friend.
04:39James.
04:44You're not my old friend, aren't you?
04:47You're all your friends, you darling.
04:48Come on, have another drink, please.
04:49I think our friend's had enough, darling.
04:51Oh, my wife.
04:53She doesn't understand me.
04:56Oh, no.
05:02Something pain in the commission's book?
05:05Boobs.
05:06Don't just stare there.
05:07Give him a hand.
05:13Ah, hey.
05:18Up here.
05:24Oh, Cyril.
05:26Come on.
05:30This must be the way of his wallet.
05:32Get him in a cab.
05:33Oh, come on.
05:34No cab is going to take him in this state.
05:35Well, you get him home, then.
05:37Get back here double quick.
05:38Depends on where home is, doesn't it?
05:40Chingford.
05:44Oh, my God.
06:35Oh, my God.
06:44I don't want you to think I'm all out, sir, or my old darling, but you're my out from
06:47humping booze for the rest of the evening.
07:07I never called me mother.
07:15Mr. Dobson's residence?
07:18Yeah.
07:19Uh, his business.
07:20It...
07:21Well, yeah, I know you don't know anything about his business, but...
07:26Now, I've tried the opposite.
07:29Now, look, I only want to...
07:33Well, I beg your pardon, missus.
07:43Is it her money you're spending, Cyril?
07:48Shouldn't you be behind bars somewhere?
07:50My exercise period.
07:51I'm terribly sorry.
07:53I mean, I really am, but we just...
07:55We don't deal with problems like that here.
07:58No.
08:00Um...
08:01What I suggest you do, dear, is to contact your MP.
08:06I mean, you're paying his wages, not mine.
08:10Is everybody in this country a raving lunatic?
08:15How's the job?
08:17You know, I always thought, being a barman meant people buying your drinks and telling you their deepest troubles.
08:21Only if you've got a cleavage.
08:25Silicone injection's expensive.
08:28You know, in MI5, they codename you the destroyer.
08:32Why is that?
08:33Because you're always looking for a sub.
08:35Maureen!
08:37Just how long is it going to take, do you reckon?
08:40God knows.
08:41Anyone who's smart enough to con your client, Jenny's out of a ton a week, must be pretty cute.
08:44How long have I got?
08:45Tell you, crack it.
08:47Until Jenny decides you're more expensive than the fiddle.
08:50Give him 20 out of the float, will you love me?
08:53How am I supposed to balance the accounts if that...
08:54It's my money, sweetie.
09:02Check the staff references, yeah?
09:04Yeah, most of them.
09:05Seem all right so far.
09:06What about Jay, the bar manager?
09:09Looking sassy, is he?
09:14Well, it's not the old pennies-on-the-shelf tricks.
09:17I don't know what to weed out the till at the end of the evening.
09:19Check the stock.
09:20Twice a day, nothing.
09:23Could be that they're bringing their own bottles.
09:24Cheap enough for the cash and carry.
09:26Prices you charge, they'll be on the right earner.
09:28I thought I knew all the dodges.
09:31Sorry to interrupt.
09:32Mr. Jennings, isn't it?
09:34I've just been talking to your Mr. Jay about my uncle, Cyril Dobson.
09:40Something wrong, is there?
09:41He never got home.
09:43Now, your bar manager says that he was supposed to take care of him.
09:48Did you, Hazel?
09:52Legolas, was he?
09:53Our patrons don't get legolas.
09:55They get tired and emotional.
09:57Discretion is our policy.
09:58Excuse me.
10:02A bottle of the Chateau Lafitte.
10:24Now, now, sit down for a minute.
10:26What do you say your name was?
10:28Hazel?
10:31Well, now, what's your other name, then?
10:35Hazel.
10:37Mister.
10:42All right, then.
10:45Mister Hazel.
10:48Sorry, sir.
10:50It's against our rules.
10:52But haven't you heard?
10:54Mister Hazel.
10:56The customer is always right.
11:13Now, then.
11:14Mister Hazel.
11:16Where exactly did you drop Uncle Cyril off?
11:19What sort of the family are you on?
11:22I think you're forgetting your humble station, Mr. Hazel.
11:28We're asking the question.
11:30Discretion is their policy here, Mr. Greasy.
11:33We really ought to move in better circles one day, Mr. Greasy.
11:41Where did you drop him off?
11:44Chingford.
11:46Chingford.
11:46Chingford.
11:48Where in Chingford?
11:50The street.
11:51What street?
11:51Who knows?
11:53He told a cabbie where to go.
11:54I was just here to see he got home safe.
11:55You didn't seem to the door, then.
11:57He wasn't my type.
12:00Now, don't get lippy, Mr. Hazel.
12:03He just got out of the cab and walked off, right?
12:06That's right.
12:08Wrong.
12:10You see, your Mr. J has just told us he was pissed.
12:14Tired and emotional, Mr. Greasy.
12:16I'm so sorry, Mr. Greasy.
12:20Yeah.
12:22Tired as a new.
12:25He got out of the cab and walked up to an house.
12:27And that's it.
12:28What kind of house?
12:31Well, it didn't look like the...
12:33poor house.
12:39The bold Cyril was clearly in some kind of schtuck with geasers like that on his daily.
12:44If they were an happy family, I'd rather have Op Wovera with the Borgias.
12:49Which is why I decided to unload Dobson's wallet a bit lively.
12:52He left that at my place.
12:54Only I wouldn't like to think he'd lost it.
13:03But he...
13:04Something wrong, is there?
13:05But he never carries this much.
13:08He hasn't been home all week.
13:10I rang his office and some stupid girl said he was taking his holidays.
13:15Hasn't he been in touch at all?
13:17He phoned me.
13:20When was that?
13:21Wednesday night.
13:23He was drunk.
13:25Cyril.
13:26I mean, 18 years, he's never...
13:30And telling me to sell the house.
13:33Where he moved in here eight months ago.
13:36And those dreadful men.
13:38What men?
13:39There were two of them.
13:40One was called Graves.
13:43You know them.
13:45What exactly did they say?
13:47They were very strange.
13:48They kept saying Cyril had to get in touch with the firm.
13:51I told them Cyril handles dozens of accounts.
13:54But they just kept saying the firm and Cyril would know.
13:58Look, Mrs. Dobson...
13:59It's all my fault.
14:01I wanted this house and I kept on at him.
14:04It's worrying about all these commitments.
14:05It must be.
14:07Maybe you should call the police.
14:09Oh, no, not the police.
14:10Cyril would never...
14:12You don't know what accountants are like.
14:14Any hint of scandal and you...
14:17It's all right.
14:18No, go on, love.
14:18You sit down.
14:19I'll get it.
14:19It's all right.
14:28Well, well, well, as it is now.
14:29How have you gone?
14:31Moonlighting up there, are we?
14:32I wonder what you can be doing here, Mr. Graves.
14:34The very question, Mr. Graves.
14:36Come and make yourself a cup of tea, love.
14:38Do you good?
14:39Please tell me what's going on.
14:41What indeed, Mr. Hazel?
14:42Look, I told you.
14:44I was just returning the guy's wallet.
14:48Your motor?
14:49What, that?
14:50On my wages?
14:52How did you get out of here?
14:54Courtesy of London Transport.
14:56Poverty has its compensations.
14:59We're not very impressed with your story, Mr. Hazel.
15:03Think about it.
15:05And you've come all this way just to deliver a punker's wallet.
15:10It's what the politicians might call a credibility gap.
15:18Now, I don't think it's in your best interest to tell us pork buys, Mr. Hazel.
15:22Your Mr. Jennings could have sent the wallet, registered mail.
15:26Or he could have waited for Dobson to go back to the club.
15:31Are you quite sure you haven't come out here to collect something?
15:36Collect?
15:38Or Dobson.
15:47It did just occur to me that they were well entitled to a swift kick in the orchestras.
15:52It might have been a trifle undignified for Chinkford.
15:55I resisted the urge anyway.
15:57Nobody was paying me to get webbed up in Dobson's little follies.
16:01But then, they made me an offer.
16:03Where do you live?
16:03That's what I told him.
16:05Seemed like a good idea at the time.
16:07Just to get them off me back.
16:11Oh, dear.
16:14Oh, well.
16:16No one's perfect.
16:20Live on your own, eh?
16:25Just looking after it for a friend.
16:28You're never alone with a trout.
16:31Well, you ought to take more care.
16:33He's not here.
16:34None of his gear, either.
16:36Oh, ye of little faith.
17:01Now, as soon as Uncle Cyril shows,
17:04you will give this number a ring.
17:07Won't you?
17:15Hazel.
17:16Hazel.
17:21Call me a naive, sentimental fool,
17:23but I don't like people using me as a lavatory wall.
17:37Detective Inspector Minty.
17:54Aggravation?
17:55What sort of aggravation?
17:57Well, they were a bit naughty with me.
18:00Oh.
18:01I'll send you a get well card.
18:03Come on, Minty.
18:04It's only a CRO call for you.
18:06Why don't you hire a private detective?
18:09I've got a feeling about this lot, Minty.
18:11Know what I mean?
18:12Graves increasing.
18:14He'll do it.
18:15I'll think about it.
18:29I'll see.
18:45Shae Burts, do you know it?
18:48Run by a fat pond called Jennings.
18:50Yeah.
18:51Wonderful social life you must lead.
18:53Matter of fact, I'm grafting there.
18:56Oh, yeah?
18:56Yeah, someone's well at it.
18:58Takes down about a ton a week.
18:59Uh-huh.
19:00So, where do Graves and Creasy come in?
19:03Through the front door.
19:05Don't get clever with me.
19:08You're the one who's begging for help.
19:10Begging for help?
19:12Where are we going, anyway?
19:15I heard of a villain called Travis.
19:16A real villain.
19:18Should I have?
19:19Well, you rub shoulders with a lot of rubbish.
19:23I've noticed all this aggression with the Scots.
19:24Scots?
19:25You think it's a national inferiority complex, or what?
19:30Too much to ask where we're going.
19:33Eh?
19:33Job?
19:38Fashionable Whitechubble Boulevard.
19:40Breeding ground for some of the worst villains in the country's history.
19:44The Terrible Twins.
19:45The Brothers Grimm.
19:46Never mind their jolly nicknames.
19:49You're talking about murder.
19:50Extortion.
19:51Terror.
19:52Yeah.
19:53Well, youth must have its fling.
20:34If any lot tries that sort of thing again, they get hammered into the ground.
20:38Can you bring me all this way for a policy statement?
20:41Well, you wanted to know about Graves and Creasy, didn't you?
20:46Well, that number they gave you, well, that is the address at the end of it.
20:55Now, Graves and Creasy are nothing.
20:57Travis is the governor.
20:59He thought he would like to take over where the twins left off.
21:03But we'd done him for a bit of receiving.
21:05He's doing two and a half in Wandsworth.
21:08That's what got me interested in your new friends.
21:12Yeah, well, certainly I'll not bother if I never see him again.
21:15Oh, you'll see them again, all right.
21:17At the committal proceedings.
21:20You what?
21:22Our number one witness.
21:25The witness to what?
21:26That's the snag with the protection firm.
21:28Getting the bloody club owners to testify.
21:32Minty, I don't know what the hell you're talking about.
21:38Graves and Creasy.
21:40Demanding money with menaces, of course.
21:42Look, it wasn't protection.
21:43Look, they were after a guy called Dobson.
21:45He'd be owing money or something.
21:47He had nothing to do with Shea Berts.
21:49I knew he'd be some of you someday.
21:50I'll have...
21:51Once Minty had an idea in his great Scotch skull,
21:54you might as well try chatting up Tim, the speaking clock.
21:58He decided I was in the club to put the block on a protection firm.
22:01And the more I told him about Cyril Dobson,
22:03the more he said I was wriggling.
22:05He enjoyed that.
22:07Cops always do.
22:14It didn't seem the moment to say I told you so.
22:18I had to go back for me motor anyway.
22:30The only way I could see a convincing Minty
22:32was a spot of your actual detective work.
22:38You didn't call the police, sir?
22:39Oh, no.
22:40Cyril wouldn't like the...
22:41The scandal.
22:43Well, you seem to know them.
22:44You need to go off with them, Mr. Hazel.
22:46I thought perhaps they were...
22:47My friends?
22:49Look, Mrs. Dobson,
22:50I'm an inquiry agent.
22:52No, it's got nothing to do with your husband.
22:55He got drunk.
22:56I gave him a bed for the night.
22:57That's all.
22:58But then suddenly there's these two heavies leaning on me.
23:01Gangsters, nearly.
23:02Know what I mean, Mrs. Dobson?
23:04Gangsters?
23:05How on earth could my husband have anything to do with people like that?
23:09Does the name Travis mean anything to you?
23:11Mr. Travis?
23:13There is a personal client of my husband's.
23:16How did you know about him?
23:17The two guys who molested your house this morning,
23:19they work for Travis,
23:20and he is a gangster.
23:24Oh, my God.
23:26He seems such a nice man.
23:28You've met him?
23:30Cyril wouldn't like me talking about his private business.
23:32I should say that's the least of his worries at the moment, Mrs. Dobson.
23:39Well, Cyril said the office mustn't know about Mr. Travis.
23:42He said he was perfectly legitimate, but I...
23:46Well, I was suspicious.
23:47He'd never had private clients before.
23:51What sort of work was it?
23:52Cyril never discusses his business affairs with me.
23:56It must have been important.
23:58The extra money paid for this house.
24:01Yeah.
24:03It's a very nice house.
24:05What would have...
24:07What?
24:0830?
24:0840,000?
24:09About that.
24:11Cash?
24:11There's a 10,000 pound mortgage.
24:14But I'd know if Cyril was doing something wrong.
24:17Mrs. Dobson,
24:18you don't even know where he is.
24:21Oh, what would you advise?
24:23Maybe the police would be the simplest.
24:24No.
24:25Not the police.
24:26Yes.
24:37You've suspected something all along, haven't you?
24:40I mean, a bit on the side wouldn't help pay for a house like this, would it?
24:43Had to be something, dodgy.
24:44But I'm the stupid wife who wouldn't understand.
24:48Are you available for hire?
24:50I have money.
24:52Till I know what's happened to Cyril, I can't go to the...
24:58Sorry, Mrs. Dobson, I've got a job already.
25:01Well, he probably didn't know how deep the water was.
25:04Well, don't worry.
25:05He'll get in touch.
25:07Hmm.
25:08If he hasn't been in touch with me for years.
25:15Where did we go wrong, baby?
25:24She may have a yen for you, sweetheart.
25:26I thought we had a deal, Bogey.
25:30You're married, James.
25:32Keep being asked that question.
25:36Somewhere in this cockeyed world, there's a Miss Wright just waiting for you.
25:39Isn't her handsome?
25:41Are you?
25:43Not anymore.
25:44She was in the domesticity.
25:45See, I got into the bottle.
25:48You?
25:49Twice.
25:50They were into Cullfosters and shaped it, and I was into Tony Ford.
25:54Talking about shaped it.
25:59Cozy chats with staff in your own time, eh?
26:02I'm not staff.
26:04No, but he is.
26:05And if you want to work here, go ply your train.
26:11Thanks.
26:20You heard the man?
26:23Yeah.
26:24It's poor.
26:55Can I get you something, sir?
26:57Lemonade. Neat.
27:12One pound twenty, sir.
27:22Very nice.
27:25Anything else, sir?
27:27You tell me.
27:29What the hell did you tell him at the door?
27:31Don't worry. They like to keep us sweet.
27:33Have a...
27:34It isn't protection.
27:35Remember Dobson, the guy I was telling you?
27:37Ah, don't start all that again.
27:39It's Travis's personal account.
27:43I'll be right back, sir.
27:44Excuse me.
27:50Thanks.
27:55You pissed off?
28:13you were saying you're supposed to be undercover how does it look me talking to the floor
28:19you want me to come back team-handed okay we'll make it look as if we're discussing
28:24your problems ah your problems dobson's on the missing list graves and creasy badly want to get
28:32hold of it what mrs. dobson told me it's not hard to work out why you're gonna pay for that
28:39dobson's bought a big house it's my guess he's bought it with travis's loot and dobson does
28:45the books right travis's business long firms fraud protection mrs. dobson told you all that
28:50it wasn't hard to work out for a detective well that's it isn't it dobson's your man you'll have
28:57a lot on travis accounts investments documents what documents
29:31it is coach
29:33Well, sure, sure.
29:36Dobson, I mean, all you've got to do is get hold of him.
29:39How about you doing it for me?
29:44See him again.
29:48What am I doing?
29:49Where am I going?
29:51Where's it all going to end?
29:53End?
29:54I haven't even made a beginning.
29:56Still hadn't a clue who was screwing the bar tape.
29:59And Minty was coming on slippery enough to duck out the side door of a telephone kiosk.
30:03Well, up yours, Minty. Earn your own pension, you...
30:07Not your kind, Mr. Hazel.
30:09Poverty has its compensations.
30:14Just a humble barman, are we?
30:18You're famous, Mr. Hazel.
30:20Pictures in the papers, even.
30:24Mr. O'Rourke, ventilated with a luger.
30:27Very nasty.
30:33I don't know what case you're investigating, you stupid bastard.
30:37But if you don't want real grief,
30:40you'll give us the ring the moment Dobson shall find you.
30:45You do know the number, don't you?
30:50Oh!
30:50What?
30:52Oh!
30:54Oh!
30:58Oh!
31:01Oh!
31:02Oh!
31:03Oh!
31:10Oh!
31:29Oh, beautiful.
31:50There was a moment when I didn't think I'd reach the front door, and when I got there I wished
31:55I hadn't.
32:02How the hell did... I borrowed it when I left.
32:21I rang my wife.
32:22She told me all about you.
32:25Yeah, well, you'll understand why I'm turning you over to the law.
32:28But you can't do that. I'm in trouble.
32:31You're in trouble? You see this, don't you?
32:34You are trouble!
32:36I can't start out doing you a favour.
32:38But you're an honest man. There's not many left.
32:41Well, there's no wonder, is there?
32:43I'll pay you.
32:43For what? Major surgery?
32:46I'm desperate, James. I think they want to kill me.
32:49I want to kill you!
32:51If you would just listen.
32:53I know I can trust you.
32:55Yeah, well, I can't trust you.
32:56If you would just let me stay here until...
32:59At the hint of sounding an indelicate no!
33:05You know it will happen to me, don't you?
33:07Did you think, with your superior education, that you could give the fast shuffle to a firm like that?
33:13Just morons from the sweaty lower orders, no match for a skilled book cooker!
33:16Don't call the police.
33:17You want me to phone Graves and Creasy instead?
33:19I'll pay you. You're a private detective, aren't you?
33:21Surely you wouldn't...
33:22Try the war office, because maybe we've still got a big enough army left to protect you!
33:25It would only be for a while.
33:31You wouldn't lose by chance.
33:33Two hundred pounds.
33:35Please.
33:37I'm begging you.
33:39I don't have a friend in the world.
33:41Five hundred.
33:43A thousand.
33:46Hello?
33:47Two thousand pounds.
33:53Friend?
34:00Er, no cheques, please.
34:03But I only have two hundred on me, as soon as the bank opens.
34:07So now that I'm on your side, how much did you steal from Travis?
34:11I don't call it stealing.
34:13You can have every penny back as soon as I sell the house.
34:15How much?
34:23Around...
34:24Twenty thousand, actually.
34:30And I could talk to the man.
34:32Yeah.
34:32Well, maybe you could get him to send you a visiting order, eh?
34:35He has.
34:38I could let him have eight thousand immediately.
34:42Minus my way.
34:43I could take him.
34:44Though I wouldn't cross.
34:46But not you, James.
34:49Yeah.
34:49Yeah.
34:54Well, are you taking me anywhere?
35:10Hey!
35:11Come on, Tojo.
35:13Get on, you bleeding horse.
35:14What the hell do you think you're doing?
35:15I'll deal with you later.
35:17Good.
35:17Don't you inscrutable believe in the sanctity of marriage, eh?
35:21That's my wife up there.
35:22Do you understand?
35:23My wife.
35:24Look at your bloody wife.
35:25Get out of here.
35:25I'll call the police.
35:26Did you hear that?
35:27The bogies are coming.
35:28You'd better get out of here.
35:29No, no, no.
35:29Wait here.
35:30You're just waiting.
35:30Don't forget your shoes.
35:31Come on, get on your way, oh, Ricker.
35:33Oh, Pooch.
35:34Come back here.
35:37Get out of it.
35:38Calm down, love.
35:41You!
35:42This isn't bloody funny.
35:44I'm sorry, love.
35:45It's an emergency.
35:46Is this your idea?
35:47No, it was mine.
35:49Like, give her some bread, will you, Cyril?
35:54Do you need him to pig for you?
35:56Oh, look, it isn't like that, Gloria.
35:57Look, Cyril is in a spot of bother, and I couldn't think of anywhere else in an hurry.
36:02Tell her, Cyril, will you?
36:03My wife obtained a court order against me.
36:05I broke the terms of the injunction, and they want to jail me for contempt.
36:12It's, er...
36:14It won't be for long, love.
36:17Well, that's what friends are for, isn't it?
36:19You've got a bloody nerve.
36:22Lend help in hand.
36:24Here's looking at you, kid.
36:29Now, you'll do that thing we talked about, huh?
36:3310.30 sharp.
36:42Ah, don't worry, cos he didn't look like the kamikaze sort.
37:10Come on, Mrs. Dobson.
37:14Even you've got to leave the house sometime.
37:15Even you've got to leave the house sometime.
37:17Terrific.
37:46No.
38:07Yes, sir.
38:07No, sir.
38:08Yes!
38:08You're gonna have a cute littleä½ , too.
38:14I'll go.
38:14No, sir.
38:15No, sir.
38:15this. My insurance. But it's mine. It's not much use to you now, sir, old friend, is it? Once you're
38:23winging on your way to Canada. Actually, I've... And at the risk of sounding a bit indelicate,
38:29what about my bleeding money? I've told you it's in the bank in Hobarton. Pinky and Perky don't
38:34know that, do they? Pinky? No, you mean Graves and... Yeah. No, of course not. We wouldn't want a
38:39disgusting fracar on the city streets now, would we? Right, well, we'll get that sorted out and
38:43then we'll get your head tickets. Yes, well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about.
38:48You see, I've decided that Australia is more to my liking. Aussie? Where is she? Where's
38:58Gloria? Where? Where is she? But she went to the laundrette. The what? At this time of day?
39:07Huh? You didn't tell her what this was really about, did you? My dear James, there's more
39:12to that young lady. Oh, come on. Out!
39:15What?
39:39In! Get in!
39:53What?
39:54Why would you...? Oh, do leave off.
40:03Why would you...? Oh, do leave off.
40:10Don't fire!
40:19Honest to God, he'd had it away with Travis's money,
40:23but a little bit of energetic motoring and Cyril...
40:25Well, only the laundry could tell the full story.
40:35There are such things as hotels.
40:38What? Leave him on his own for two minutes?
40:40Doc, this guy ain't accident-prone. He's your actual walk-in death wish.
40:44I can't wait to see him.
40:47Maureen, no calls for ten minutes.
41:04So, your greasy thumb...
41:07Doc Wilmington?
41:09Cyril Dobson.
41:11My air tickets.
41:13Well, uh, Doc and I have had a little chat about it.
41:17Okay.
41:19You're the hottest potato in London, Cyril.
41:22Didn't you know?
41:23What's the plan?
41:25Gonna skip the country, grow a beard and wear a wide-away cap?
41:28You wouldn't find it amusing if you were in my position.
41:30Me? In your position?
41:33Don't be a schmuck.
41:36How old are you?
41:38You ripped off enough to live for the rest of your life in Australia?
41:42When I've sold my house.
41:43Oh, but you'll be down under with the koala bears, won't you?
41:47I mean, can you see your cruelly abandoned wife trotting gaily to the post office every week with your cheque?
41:53That's if those hounds don't hit her first.
41:58Oh, yes, they would.
42:00I haven't given that poor woman much thought.
42:03Thank you, Cyril.
42:05What else can I do?
42:07The police.
42:09The police.
42:11P-O-L-I-C-E.
42:13They wear blue uniforms and stop the rest of us enjoying ourselves.
42:17You do a deal?
42:19They go down the road for 10, 15 years.
42:21All on the strength of your testimony.
42:24And you, you're back to cozy suburbia.
42:28I hope Billy gave you maximum protection.
42:29Even in Australia, you'd always get that itchy feeling between the shoulder blades.
42:46And I keep the money.
42:59Make sure he pays you.
43:09So, you do the royals?
43:12Turn Queen's evidence.
43:14Makes a lot of sense.
43:17Of course, this alters our arrangement.
43:22You were to get me out of the country.
43:25No, no, I'm going to earn my two grand.
43:27Unless, of course, you'd like to do your own negotiating.
43:30And you haven't got much bargaining power, have you, when they got your banker rights?
43:35In prison.
43:37Yeah.
43:40You sure they'd protect me?
43:43I'd go free with the money.
43:46You might have the slight inconvenience of finding another Chingford.
43:51On the other end, I could negotiate with Pinky and Perky.
43:55Please, James.
43:58Don't make jokes like that.
44:07You know damn well we can't make deals anymore.
44:10Officially.
44:12What is it?
44:14I could do you for harbouring.
44:16All right, got a warrant out for him, have you?
44:19He rings me at the club.
44:20We can't make deals.
44:22I'll have a word with your government.
44:24I have to, anyway.
44:25Why?
44:27Dobson wants it airtight.
44:28You're too low in the pecking order to be trusted.
44:32Not by me, you understand.
44:34I mean, I thought I'd think you Scotch are wonderful, you know.
44:36Scotch?
44:37Of course, you'll miss the glory of the personal capture.
44:42Commendations for daring enterprise, that sort of thing.
44:44Still, for the greater good of mankind, a man of your integrity.
44:47Cut that fly-by crap.
44:49Is that a way to talk to a friend who's only trying to help?
44:57Well, what do you reckon, then?
44:59What are you getting out of all this?
45:02Warming a glow of pride that comes from knowing you've assisted the police with your inquiries.
45:05Oh, yeah.
45:07The deal's on.
45:08Bring your governor down to the club.
45:09Six on the dot.
45:17Uh, James Azle.
45:19That, um, party that you're interested in meeting.
45:23Yeah.
45:24Well, uh, I'll have him down to the club at six o'clock.
45:27I, uh, I don't suppose there's, uh, a little chance of, uh, something for me, is it?
45:31Amos the Graves?
45:33Tough.
45:51In there.
45:52Keep quiet.
45:53But, uh, in.
45:58What are you doing here at this time?
45:59Uh, I just thought I'd, uh, get in early, Mr. Jennings.
46:02Watch all the staff arising.
46:04See that they're not, uh, carrying anything.
46:10Have you got any ideas yet, son?
46:12Oh, there's a small light at the end of the tunnel.
46:16For a detective, you'd make a good barman.
46:18Do you know that?
46:19You're no mug, Mr. Jennings.
46:20Now, if you couldn't spot it.
46:23Ah, it's never the same in daylight.
46:25Yeah.
46:25You need the dark for the illusions to flourish.
46:29Bring back the blackout.
46:31Oh.
47:04I don't see, Dobson, mister.
47:07You do have bad eyes, don't you?
47:10Why don't you have them out?
47:17Just a little jest amongst friends, eh?
47:21Not an unassuming little plonk, I think you'll find.
47:23Just a hint of petrochemicals in the bouquet,
47:26but then nobody's perfect.
47:28Eh, Mr. Graves?
47:30Ah!
47:32Ah!
47:34Ah!
47:37Ah!
47:38Ah!
47:38Ah!
47:39Ah!
47:39Ah!
47:40Ah!
47:40Ah!
47:41Ah!
47:46What's my name, eh?
47:50What's my name?
47:54What the hell are you doing, Heselt?
47:56That's a funny way to a crack custom.
48:03Eh, your governor?
48:05Yeah?
48:06Is it a deal?
48:10He's in there with the rights.
48:12These two, you can have for nothing.
48:26Yeah!
48:27Another glamour-peck night at the non-stop carnival.
48:35Good times.
48:38I'm limited.
48:42Why'd you do it?
48:44Told me it was after him.
48:47Come on, love.
48:48Plastic surgery's no asset for a working girl.
48:53Look out.
48:54Here comes Simon Legree.
48:56You bastard.
48:58Next time, I'm going to drop him in.
49:00Oh?
49:02Bloody swimmer.
49:04Oh, yeah?
49:06Hasn't he offered you a cut yet?
49:08You're a bit slow.
49:10Haven't you seen him, eh?
49:13He fills up the empties with champagne drinks,
49:15then charges boozed-up customers 14 quid a bottle.
49:21Well, when was the last time you saw him open the second bottle at a table?
49:27Showing out to the bloody barman, eh?
49:29Leave her alone.
49:30You're fired.
49:32No, mate.
49:34Governor?
49:35You're fired.
49:37That's what it's about.
49:40Another triumph for scientific detection.
49:44I felt like a celebration.
49:46Bet two grand of Dobson's would buy me a lot of celebrating.
49:50Let the good times roll.
49:52Oh, yeah.
49:53Plenty of good time for two grand.
49:55As the man said, if you find a mug, strangle him.
50:05You were born one morning,
50:08Woke out where the ceiling fell.
50:13Born one morning,
50:16Woke out where the ceiling fell.
50:20You learned everything you knew was six days.
50:24On the seventh day,
50:25You knew it very well.
50:29You trusted pretty women,
50:31A pretty woman had you tied and bound.
50:36You trusted in the bottle,
50:39But in the end that bottle got you down.
50:43You've tried everything that's going,
50:47Better leave it all to faith this time around.
50:52You've been down so long it looks like her.
50:57Ain't that a shame?
51:00Down so long it looks like her.
51:04Ain't that a shame?
51:06You know your luck might change tomorrow.
51:10And then again,
51:11It might stay just about the same.
51:16Ain't that a shame?
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