- 10 hours ago
First broadcast 5th November 2010.
Stephen Fry
Alan Davies
Johnny Vegas
Sandi Toksvig
John Lloyd
Stephen Fry
Alan Davies
Johnny Vegas
Sandi Toksvig
John Lloyd
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Hello! Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, and welcome to QI, where we bring you a television
00:10first, a quiz show with no answers.
00:13Yet tonight we depart from the certainties of everyday life to explore the realm of hypothetical questions. Or do we?
00:21It's a job for only the very finest minds, by which I mean the potential Johnny Vegas.
00:30The possible Sandy Toksvig.
00:36And the increasingly unlikely Alan Davis.
00:42Now, tonight is the 99th recording of QI. And to celebrate, we have with us the man who thought it
00:51all up in the first place.
00:53He can dish it out, but let's see if he can take it. Mr John Lloyd!
01:00Well, they all have, um, they all have appropriately quizzical buzzers. Sandy goes...
01:08Um...
01:09Johnny goes...
01:12Hmm...
01:13John goes...
01:14Ooh, um...
01:16And Alan goes...
01:17Oh, sir, sir, I know, me, sir.
01:20Oh, as if. And, ah, let's open our minds now to the possibilities of question one. What's the best way
01:28to weigh your own head?
01:32LAUGHTER
01:34Any thoughts?
01:36Well, cut it off, obviously, would be a nice accurate way.
01:40And then someone else could weigh it, but you couldn't, you see?
01:45That would be the problem, you wouldn't, and the question was...
01:48No, no, because you introduced us, and I normally introduce me last.
01:51Yeah.
01:51He slightly caught me out.
01:52And I was applauding myself.
01:55Oh!
01:55Oh!
01:56Alan Davis!
01:57That's what...
01:58That's right.
01:59And I was applauding myself insincerely.
02:03LAUGHTER
02:03That's what Soviet leaders do, isn't it?
02:05Or, or, or chimpanzees, yeah.
02:07LAUGHTER
02:07One or the other, yeah.
02:10Why would you want to weigh your own head?
02:12It's a sort of a boys' thing, isn't it?
02:14Can you imagine some poor woman married to a scientist,
02:15and she's at home and she's wormed the dog and fed the children and got everything sorted,
02:18and her husband gets home and goes,
02:19Good news, dear, I've weighed my own head.
02:23I got you.
02:24It may not seem like the most useful thing to do,
02:26but it does employ interesting scientific ideas on which we all depend.
02:31Is it, is it that thing that David Frost used to tell that joke for years and years,
02:35the, um, do you want to lose 12 pounds of unsightly fat?
02:40Cut off your head.
02:42LAUGHTER
02:42Was that a joke?
02:43He used to tell that a lot, yeah.
02:45What is one of the most famous ancient moments of scientific discovery?
02:49Well, it's the bath.
02:50Archimedes, isn't it? Archimedes in the bath.
02:51Archimedes in the bath.
02:52Now, tell me, what did Archimedes do and why did he...?
02:55Splaced, so would you just put, would you just put your head in the bucket?
02:57Oh, oh, right, oh, is that right?
02:59I have an idea.
03:00Yeah.
03:01Join in.
03:01I was going to weigh myself, go to the swimming baths.
03:04Yeah.
03:04Right, and Bob, and then get people to feed me until I sank.
03:09LAUGHTER
03:09And then come back out and weigh myself again.
03:13Yeah.
03:14And...
03:15That sounds much more scientific.
03:16LAUGHTER
03:17So by displacement of the water, you can tell...
03:20Yeah, you take a big bucket and you fill it full of water,
03:22and you drop your head in,
03:24because water and the density of your head are about the same,
03:27you get a very close approximation by the amount of water that you displace.
03:32And you could put apples in to make it...
03:33You could bob for apples to make it fair, yes.
03:36LAUGHTER
03:36And what did your head weigh when you tried this?
03:38Eh, what would you say is the average weight?
03:41The University of Sydney has a department
03:42where they weigh heads quite a lot,
03:45and they have a pretty good average.
03:47Are they dunking them in buckets, do they...?
03:48They don't actually dunk them in buckets.
03:50Is it £12?
03:51Well, it's four and a half to five kilos, which is...
03:55I've no idea.
03:55Five kilos is £11.
03:57It's not far.
03:58Yeah.
03:592.0...
04:00It's about £12, isn't it?
04:01Yeah, it's about £12.
04:01Well done.
04:02I'm going to give him a point for £12, John.
04:04I've negotiated some points.
04:06LAUGHTER
04:07Surely you should give those points to David Frost,
04:09who thought of the £12 in the first place.
04:11Well, that's true.
04:11Or who's right, he did.
04:12He only had to cut his head off.
04:13Yeah.
04:13What if you get an air pocket in your ears?
04:16A pocket?
04:16You know, the air pockets.
04:17Yes, but the air cavities are cancelled out...
04:20Take your fingers out, you won't hear the answer.
04:22LAUGHTER
04:26APPLAUSE
04:28The bones, you also have bones that are denser than water
04:31and air pockets that are lighter than water.
04:33And together, it does seem that the head averages about water,
04:36so it's a good displacement test.
04:39But there is a modern piece of technology
04:41that can do it to frightening degrees of accuracy.
04:43Bound to be a laser or something like that?
04:46Well, no, it's a CAT scan CT,
04:48and they can tell the density of every little tiniest part
04:52of the brain and the skull and all the rest of it,
04:55and tot it all up.
04:56My dad's got heavy eyes.
04:58Has he now?
04:59Yeah.
05:00Have you weighed his eyes?
05:01No, we're not weighed them, but he's very fearful of leaning forward.
05:06LAUGHTER
05:08What's this like?
05:09He doesn't like...
05:09He doesn't like leaning forward.
05:11He thinks they're going to come out.
05:14LAUGHTER
05:14He's like those things you can buy.
05:16No, he's...
05:17We got rid of novelty, Dad.
05:20LAUGHTER
05:20This is mental, Dad.
05:23You know, my grandfather had two glass eyes,
05:26and yet he could see.
05:27So, what happened was, he very sad, he lost one eye.
05:30I mean, he wasn't careless, he was ill.
05:32And he had a glass eye made, it was perfect,
05:35exactly like his other perfectly working blue Scandinavian eye,
05:38and then he had one made that was bloodshot,
05:40and it was known as Grandpa's party eye.
05:42LAUGHTER
05:44And he kept it in a box on the mantelpiece,
05:46and when he was going out for the evening,
05:47he'd take out the false blue one,
05:49and he'd put in the bloodshot one,
05:51and he'd say,
05:51I'm going out now, and I shan't be back till they match.
05:54LAUGHTER
05:55Oh, that's brilliant!
05:57That's brilliant, that's brilliant!
06:00Fantastic.
06:02And I do remember you telling me...
06:03I thought he had two glass eyes like that.
06:04I know, that would be silly.
06:05Did he have a hole at the back where somebody put that?
06:08Was your grandad nookie burr?
06:10LAUGHTER
06:13Do you know anything about Sir Francis Drake?
06:14No, I don't mean Sir Francis Drake,
06:16but, as I've mentioned him, do you know anything about him?
06:20LAUGHTER
06:24Something to do with bowling.
06:26Yeah, that's right, yeah.
06:27He was in the Navy.
06:29LAUGHTER
06:29Let's move on from Francis Drake.
06:32Thanks, thanks for bringing up.
06:33What do you know about Sir Walter Raleigh?
06:37He invented the bicycle.
06:39His wife carried his head around in a bag
06:41for more than 30 years after he died.
06:44Excellent.
06:44A velvet bag.
06:45A red velvet bag, yes.
06:47So, Walter was executed, and...
06:49I see why John had to invent the show
06:50with this kind of information.
06:52Yes, exactly.
06:52Carries around with him.
06:54You carried around much as Lady Raleigh carried around the head.
06:57It was on Buzzcocks last week.
06:59Was it?
07:00LAUGHTER
07:02What sort of bag?
07:03Was it a sealed bag?
07:04Like a...
07:05Like a sort of velvet...
07:06Like a cool box?
07:07I don't know.
07:07People did keep heads.
07:08There was an Archbishop of Canterbury
07:10who was killed in the Peasants' Revolt,
07:12and they've still got his head in the church in Sudbury.
07:15Wait.
07:15Just the skull now.
07:16There it is.
07:17You are now.
07:17The flesh has rotted off, obviously,
07:19but it's been there continuously since he was killed.
07:21As it rots away,
07:22you just empty the bag out and rinse it
07:24and pop it back in.
07:25Nature helps.
07:25The flies and the maggots eat it all up
07:27and it's the bacteria.
07:28It's all very...
07:29I bet it was a few years
07:30before anybody wanted to sit next to her at dinner.
07:33LAUGHTER
07:33Although, Lady Raleigh, I'm sure that's true.
07:34Yes, do you not think?
07:35Oh, I'm sure.
07:35She'd be going,
07:36Oh, she's not going to bring the head, is she?
07:38LAUGHTER
07:42I've got there, but like many,
07:43like many of the questions in tonight's show,
07:45there's no one correct answer,
07:47but dunking your head in a bucket
07:48might be a good start.
07:49And if that hasn't got you scratching your head,
07:51when might you engage in paradoxical undressing?
07:58It's a known thing, paradoxical undressing.
08:00It's a phrase that is used.
08:01It's not made up by us.
08:03So you're undressing, but you're actually dressing?
08:05No, it's not really paradoxical.
08:07Is it physics?
08:08Or some physics or mathematics?
08:09No.
08:10Is it counterintuitive undressing?
08:11It's, that's much more what it is.
08:12So, taking your clothes off,
08:13if Jeremy Clarkson asks you, would be...
08:17Oh, meow.
08:20Would be silly.
08:21It's, it's taking your clothes off,
08:22when taking your clothes off looks like
08:23the worst possible idea you could have.
08:26Is it some, is it some effect of hypothermia?
08:28Is it some mental, mental thing that does to you?
08:31It's exactly what it is.
08:31It may be mental, it may be physical.
08:33It's not quite understood, but one of the...
08:35Oh, that is very unpleasant.
08:36Yes.
08:38I want to go back to the previous picture.
08:40Yeah.
08:42Yeah, it's one of the peculiar side effects of hypothermia.
08:45When you're actually dying of cold...
08:47You feel hot.
08:48...one of the, almost the last thing you do,
08:49very commonly, not always, is take all your clothes off.
08:52And, and people think it may be a delusional thing,
08:56but it also is part of the fact that your blood vessels near your skin
08:59tend to just give up and open.
09:01And it may be that people feel very hot.
09:03Because you never survive once you've got to that stage,
09:06you can't actually ask someone why they did it.
09:08But it is a common thing for people to do,
09:11and they're freezing.
09:11I went in freezing water once in New Zealand,
09:13and I screamed a lot and swam about a bit,
09:15and then I got out and I was completely shocking, livid pink,
09:18and felt hot.
09:19Well, that was perhaps seconds from death then.
09:21Maybe you were.
09:24Maybe you're one of the few who survived it.
09:26Yeah.
09:27Well, what sort of temperature do you think would start you
09:30to, on the road to hypothermia?
09:32Body temperature, I don't mean outside temperature.
09:34What's the temperature in here?
09:38Really, I'd say quite, pretty quickly.
09:41Yeah.
09:41I don't think you'd have to drop much,
09:42maybe four or five degrees below normal body temperature.
09:44Basically, that's right, 35 degrees Celsius,
09:46once your body temperature starts to get below that.
09:49And interestingly, in the coldest cities in the world,
09:53hypothermia is very rare.
09:55It's much more common in places like Britain,
09:56where it doesn't get very cold at all.
09:58There's a very remarkable Briton called Lewis Pugh.
10:02Have you heard of Lewis Pugh?
10:04He's a man who's able to control his own body temperature.
10:07He does endurance cold swimming.
10:08As far as we know, he's the only person known to science
10:11who can do what he can do.
10:12He can swim in cold conditions unlike anybody else,
10:15and he is able to raise his body temperature at will.
10:20It's completely startling.
10:22He's a superhero.
10:23He can stop himself shivering.
10:24He's really an incredible figure.
10:26And we contacted him.
10:27And he said that he thought he could do this.
10:30So it's not coming in here because it's freezing.
10:33He said he thought he could do this because he had trained himself,
10:36as it were, over years and years and years,
10:38to do these endurance swims in incredibly cold waters.
10:41And then his body, as it were, saw it coming and prepared for it.
10:44That was his only explanation.
10:46But cold water has a bad effect on a boy.
10:47I mean, he looks good there.
10:48I bet he doesn't fill his swimming trunks when he gets there.
10:51Maybe that.
10:52Actually, this is not that unusual.
10:55We went on this yoga thing recently.
10:59And the yoga teacher was saying that these sadhus in India
11:04can do this body-raising thing.
11:05And, in fact, they do it.
11:07They did some scientific experiments in the States
11:09where they shipped in these guys, you know,
11:12little wiring guys with turbans on.
11:14And they put wet towels on them.
11:15And they'd turn up their own body temperature
11:17and they would literally steam the towels dry in a few minutes.
11:21Extraordinary.
11:22Can you hire these people?
11:23Yeah.
11:25A good act.
11:26They get on Britain's Got Talent.
11:28That'd be really good.
11:29Don't you?
11:30What are you going to do?
11:31I'm going to dry this wet towel.
11:33Generate spring.
11:38You could do patterns on wet towels with your hands.
11:41It's art.
11:43I thought that if you wanted to...
11:45If you're going into cold,
11:46you need to lower your body temperature
11:48so it wasn't such a shock.
11:49So that's why they say you have a cold drink
11:51and a cold place and a hot drink and a hot place.
11:53So you're inside and outside of the same.
11:54Yes, it does seem likely, but I think for his...
11:57Or the SAS just wrong about what?
11:58Yeah, but maybe.
11:59But maybe for the extremes that he goes under,
12:01it's more important for him to stay warm.
12:03But why don't people in...
12:05When they do that sauna thing
12:06and they jump into the snow,
12:07why don't people get hypothermia then?
12:09Is it because they're not in it long enough?
12:10They're not in it long enough.
12:11I think that's the point, yeah.
12:12Yeah.
12:13Also, they're pissed, usually.
12:14Yes.
12:15Because they're Scandiwegian.
12:17Scandiwegian.
12:17We can't resist a drink, I'm afraid.
12:19I'm sorry.
12:19Very true.
12:21Anyway, paradoxically,
12:22the last thing people do
12:23when they're freezing to death
12:24is to take all their clothes off.
12:25But how can I tell if I am actually dead?
12:30Well, well, no.
12:31How can one tell if a person is actually dead?
12:34A room full of people are cheering.
12:36Oh!
12:38That was me!
12:41The 20-year-old malt is being broken out.
12:44No, we would all weep at your neck.
12:46And you can feel someone putting a pen in my hand
12:48and just going, rewriting my will.
12:51You mean the vital signs don't count?
12:54Is that we're going to set the ringer off?
12:55No, I'm not.
12:56It so happens it is a very moot point.
12:58There's the difference between legal death
13:00and medical death.
13:01There's also, it's quite recent.
13:03In the 1830s in France,
13:05there were about 30 different symptoms,
13:08if you can call them that,
13:09that people thought were determining symptoms of death.
13:13But nobody could be sure
13:14whether somebody was dead or not,
13:15so they held a prize, quite a big prize,
13:18over a thousand francs,
13:19for the person who could come up
13:20with the best way of determining if a person was dead.
13:24They're watching EastEnders without reaching to turn it off.
13:28Unfortunately, it just predated the first episode
13:30of EastEnders, 1830 on.
13:32The prize wasn't given till 1848,
13:35and even when it was awarded,
13:37most of the medical establishment refused to believe
13:40the winner, who was a young medical chap.
13:42The Victorians used to use a trembling scarab.
13:44They used to use a,
13:45it looked like a little scarab with sort of legs on it,
13:47and they used to put it on the head of somebody
13:49and watch to see if it moved,
13:50because the person would,
13:51and if it didn't move, that was...
13:52There were lots of things like that.
13:54I mean, these were some of the ideas that didn't win.
13:57Uh, sticking a thermometer into the stomach
13:59to see if the patient was cool enough to be dead.
14:01Attaching pincers to the nipples.
14:04Oh!
14:04Yep.
14:05Um, scolding the patient's arm with boiling water
14:09to see if a blister appeared.
14:11They tried all of these on one person.
14:19They didn't know about comas,
14:23so they knew that,
14:24they knew that people could sometimes appear to be incredibly dead
14:26and not respond to pain,
14:27so they knew that just,
14:28just pain wasn't enough.
14:30So that was the blister forming,
14:31putting leeches on a corpse's bottom, apparently,
14:34was one way.
14:34This just sounds like a typical day of my mum,
14:36getting me up for school.
14:38LAUGHTER
14:41Sticking a long needle into the heart
14:43with a flag on the end,
14:44and they knew that if the flag waved...
14:49LAUGHTER
14:50That was such a sweet method.
14:52That's lovely.
14:53But this is...
14:53I'm talking about the 1830s.
14:55No, it's not so long ago, really.
14:56Just put a mirror there to see if...
14:58The most common method
14:59that had been used throughout history
15:00is, as you say,
15:01to put a mirror in front of the...
15:03and if it misted up.
15:05That was the one,
15:05because you can't always hear the breath.
15:07But there was a device
15:09that had been invented in the 1840s
15:11that caused this young fellow, Boucher,
15:13who won the prize,
15:14used... suggested the use of this device,
15:16which was...
15:16Stethoscope.
15:17A stethoscope.
15:18To listen to see if the heart beat.
15:20It seems so obvious to us,
15:22but lots of brilliant people,
15:23it never occurred to them
15:24that the sound of the heart
15:26might be the determining factor.
15:27But they feared it enormously,
15:28Victorians.
15:28Hans Christian Andersen used to sleep
15:30with a sign next to his bed
15:31that said,
15:31I am not dead, I am asleep.
15:33Yes.
15:34That's right.
15:35And there were coffins with bells inside
15:36that people could ring
15:37in case they woke up.
15:39They were terrified
15:39of being buried alive.
15:41Rather than a bell,
15:42they should just give them a saw
15:43and a spade.
15:44Yes.
15:45LAUGHTER
15:48You were a cruel man but fair, Alan Davis.
15:50Why were you ringing away down there?
15:51He could be just...
15:52There were...
15:52There were special hospitals.
15:54They...
15:55They'd change...
15:56I'd go out the side, wouldn't you?
15:57Would you go out the top or the...
15:58I'd go out the side.
15:59Yeah, the sides...
15:59It would all fall in on you.
16:00I know, the weights down there,
16:02because you think that's the way
16:02a coffin lid is attached,
16:04you therefore think the logical thing
16:05is to push it...
16:05I think the side...
16:06It's sore at the side,
16:07and then kind of go up,
16:08sort of gradually.
16:09Don't go straight up.
16:11You've thought that's true, Alan Davis.
16:12It is actually a word for it, yeah.
16:14I might also say,
16:15oh, bugger, I chose cremation.
16:17That's the other one.
16:18How do I reassemble these ashes?
16:21That is why we Vikings,
16:22we put them in a boat
16:23and then set fire to it.
16:24We're doubly sure.
16:25Yes.
16:25Off you go.
16:26That's true.
16:27But there's an actual word for it
16:28in the fear of being buried alive,
16:30isn't there?
16:30Because the 18th century clown Grimaldi
16:33had a pathological fear
16:34of being buried alive,
16:35and he specified in his will
16:37that when he died
16:38they were to cut off his head
16:39before burying him,
16:40to be quite sure
16:41that he wouldn't have to ring
16:42the little bell.
16:42He wasn't just weighing it.
16:45He put it in the bucket.
16:47It's a very Edgar Allan Poe
16:48type thing as well, isn't it?
16:50Being walled up alive
16:51is a classic fear.
16:53So in Germany in particular
16:54where they, for some reason,
16:55were most afraid of this,
16:56late in the 18th
16:57and early in the 19th century,
16:58they actually had warm mortuaries
17:01to encourage putrefaction.
17:03So the smell,
17:04he's definitely dead
17:05because, whoa,
17:06that is very smelly.
17:08But it's not as obvious
17:10as we might think
17:10is the point.
17:11So if you had
17:12really bad personal hygiene
17:13but you weren't actually dead?
17:15Yes,
17:15it could be,
17:16that would be a problem.
17:17He stinks,
17:17he must be dead.
17:20He's walking around,
17:21he's talking,
17:21he's dead.
17:24But the,
17:25the fear,
17:26fear of death
17:27is thanatophobia,
17:28of course,
17:28but the fear of being buried alive
17:29is taphophobia,
17:31T-A-P-H-O-phobia.
17:32But now it's time
17:33for a round of
17:34quick-fire hypotheticals.
17:38Quick-fire hypotheticals!
17:42All you have to do
17:45is tell me the first thing
17:46that comes into your head,
17:47basically, alright?
17:48So quick-fire hypothetical question.
17:49Let's say you found
17:50a fallen tree in the forest,
17:52right?
17:53Obviously it fell down
17:54before you arrived,
17:55but did it make a sound
17:57as it fell?
17:58Ooh!
18:00Erm...
18:00No.
18:05Well, no one's gonna say yes,
18:08Yeah, you're right.
18:09I mean,
18:09do you know where this question
18:10comes from, as it were?
18:11It's a famous...
18:12Bishop Barclay.
18:12Bishop Barclay, yeah.
18:13Philosophical question, isn't it?
18:15That if there's no one
18:15to hear a sound...
18:17Is there a sound?
18:18Is there a sound?
18:19It depends so much
18:20what you mean by sound,
18:21doesn't it?
18:21Well, there isn't,
18:22because sound is the
18:24vibration of the eardrum.
18:26There is no sound,
18:26there's no one to hear it.
18:27Yeah.
18:28Well, it depends though,
18:29because part of the definition
18:29of sound is that there has
18:30to be a recipient for the sound.
18:33There's the thing that makes
18:34the noise,
18:34and there's the transmission
18:35of the noise,
18:35and there's the reception
18:36of the noise.
18:37Yeah.
18:37But if there's no reception
18:38of the noise,
18:38then maybe the noise
18:39doesn't exist.
18:39Other things are still
18:40vibrating,
18:42whether that vibration
18:43counts as a sound,
18:44or not, is...
18:45The definition of sound
18:46is what happens in the ear.
18:48There isn't any sound
18:49if there's no one to hear it.
18:50It's a mooty point.
18:51If there's a speed of sound,
18:52and it's only what happens
18:53in the ear,
18:54well, how do you get that
18:55speed between that
18:56and your ear?
19:05Maybe by the time
19:06that tree's formed,
19:07you've got no,
19:08that sounds halfway
19:08around the world,
19:10and making someone else
19:11very nervous.
19:12Ah!
19:13Steven, are you sure about this?
19:16Well, no one is sure.
19:18That is the point.
19:18That's why it's a hypothetical.
19:19No one knows.
19:20I mean, to a semanticist
19:21or a neurologist,
19:22they may say that sound is that,
19:24but to a physicist,
19:24they would say the propagation
19:25of sound waves is sound.
19:27Whether or not there is an ear
19:28to vibrate,
19:29it is a sound wave.
19:31And if it's a sound wave...
19:32I disagree that they are sound waves
19:33because if you go...
19:34You may disagree,
19:35but that's...
19:36You're welcome to.
19:36But...
19:38But you're not...
19:39The vibrations...
19:39They only become a sound wave
19:41when there's an ear to receive it.
19:43It's run like...
19:44Do you remember we talked
19:45about a thing
19:46that really astonished me?
19:47Did you know that light's invisible?
19:49It's the most extraordinary thing.
19:50If you're in a dark vacuum,
19:52if you shoot a beam of light
19:53across the eyeballs like that,
19:55you can't see it.
19:56Because you can only see
19:58what light hits.
19:59And it's the same thing
20:00that people said,
20:01but that's a stupid answer
20:02because the definition of light
20:04is something that goes
20:05into your eye
20:06and is then received.
20:07Until it does there,
20:08it's not light.
20:09But we have all kinds of things
20:11like not ears, for example.
20:13Are you saying
20:13that it's not sound
20:14if it registers on
20:15a recording device
20:16that is left there
20:17without a human there?
20:18That it's bending the needle
20:19of a recording device?
20:20Does the machine not hear?
20:22Is it not a sound wave
20:23that is actually causing
20:25the machine to register?
20:26Well, Bishop...
20:26Yeah, but in Bishop Barclay...
20:28I talked about you,
20:29not about Bishop Barclay
20:30entering a field.
20:31The point is,
20:32it's not as simple
20:33as just to say yes or no.
20:35God!
20:35It's a good question.
20:36Come on, you've got it!
20:38You've got it!
20:42It's a good question.
20:43We would have unfairly
20:44forfeited someone
20:45who said yes
20:46just as much as somebody
20:47I thought you said
20:47there was no right answer
20:48to this question.
20:49That's why it's a good question.
20:51There is no right answer.
20:52So your yes
20:53and your no
20:54are both...
20:55Whatever I said,
20:56it would have been...
20:56Yeah, I'm afraid...
20:58If the tree fell down
20:58and there was no one there
20:59to see it fall
21:00it should still be upright.
21:04That's very true.
21:05I only...
21:06For closing...
21:07You're right.
21:08Yeah.
21:09Yeah.
21:10Anyway, Alan,
21:10are you keeping well?
21:11Yeah.
21:13But Alan, Alan...
21:14Anyway...
21:15It's a hell of a bang.
21:16Yeah.
21:16It's a quick fire hypothetical,
21:18don't forget,
21:18so we move on.
21:20Um...
21:20Okay.
21:21Alright.
21:21You're talking to an alien...
21:22I can't do quick fire.
21:24Yes, you can, darling.
21:25If a quick fire hypothetical round
21:27takes a really long time
21:28is it still a quick fire?
21:29Good point.
21:31We'll find out.
21:34Very good point.
21:35You're talking to an alien
21:36in a distant galaxy
21:37by radio.
21:38How could you explain
21:39which is right
21:40and which is left?
21:41Breka breka.
21:43That...
21:43That would do it, wouldn't it?
21:45Just by saying
21:46breaker breaker
21:46he would know.
21:48Well, it depends what
21:49height mast he had
21:50but, yeah, he should, he should.
21:54It's...
21:55It's nice to be...
21:56It's got to be...
21:58It's got to be alien truckers.
22:00Yeah.
22:00It's a fair point.
22:01They must be...
22:02I'd tell him what's left and right
22:03and if he's got a...
22:04a smokey on his ass.
22:06Right.
22:07Right.
22:08Wouldn't it be a very
22:09boring conversation
22:10because the nearest galaxy
22:11is what?
22:12Four...
22:12Four light years away?
22:14We'd have to use the word
22:16hypothetical about it,
22:17for example.
22:17So it's a hypothetical conversation.
22:19Hypothetically,
22:19are we looking at
22:20any common reference point?
22:22That's the point.
22:23You can't...
22:23Can you see Mars?
22:25Yeah.
22:25Well, we're on the right...
22:29Can you see this spot on Jupiter?
22:31Yes, you'd have to have something
22:33to reference...
22:33That's the point.
22:34You can't...
22:34Semantically, there is no explanation
22:36for left or right
22:37without reference to a physical world
22:38that someone can identify.
22:39You can't...
22:40You can't explain it
22:41just by language.
22:43That...
22:43That is really the point of the question.
22:44Well, if they...
22:45Visited in the ship,
22:46you could give them a temporary tattoo.
22:48Yes, you could do that.
22:50Left, right.
22:50Which is why we framed the question
22:51so specifically,
22:53saying that...
22:54Or talking on the radio.
22:56Temporary tattoos were out.
22:56Ah, sorry.
22:58I'm just a problem solver by nature.
23:00No, it's good.
23:02Anyway, they might have...
23:03They might not have...
23:04Because we always draw them
23:05in that shape with two eyes.
23:06What if they've got four eyes
23:08and eight arms
23:08and they don't have one or two things?
23:11It may not be symmetrical in any way.
23:12Yep.
23:13They might have other dimensions
23:14and all sorts.
23:14Yeah, they might have 19 versions of left.
23:17Yeah.
23:17Yes.
23:17Can you imagine that?
23:18No, right.
23:21Left-ish!
23:21Not that one.
23:22Not that one.
23:23Not that one.
23:25Why do we always...
23:27Why do we always draw them like that?
23:29I have no idea.
23:30They might have one eye
23:31in the middle of their head.
23:32Yes.
23:32Certainly the ones that probe me
23:33look nothing like that.
23:35Do you...
23:35Do you have a little thing in your head
23:37which is a mnemonic
23:38for when you forget
23:39which is left or right temporarily?
23:40Do you do that?
23:41I walk into traffic.
23:45Sold out straight away.
23:46Yeah.
23:48Why, do you...
23:48Do you have a problem?
23:49I do...
23:49No, I don't.
23:50But if I have to think...
23:51Well, I've...
23:53I've...
23:53I've remembered the thumb I used to suck
23:54when I was a very small child.
23:56That's my right hat.
23:58It's like a therapy session, this.
24:00Yeah.
24:01It's a wonderful story
24:02about a famous ocean liner captain
24:04and he had a little silver box
24:05that he kept in his pocket
24:06and every time before they came into port
24:08he would open up the little silver box
24:09and he would look and push it away.
24:11And after many, many years' service
24:12and when he finally died
24:13his second-in-command said
24:15I just must have a look at the silver box
24:16and see what it is.
24:17And he opened up the box
24:17and it said,
24:17port left, starboard right.
24:23That's brilliant.
24:24You want to get that right though, don't you?
24:25Yes, that's the point though.
24:26You can't really find out.
24:28So, our next hypothetical.
24:30Take someone who has been blind from birth,
24:33right,
24:33and let him or her handle a sphere
24:36and a cube
24:37and then there's a new operation
24:40that amazingly comes and restores their sight
24:42and you show them the sphere and the cube.
24:45Will they be able to tell which is which
24:47just by looking,
24:48having felt each?
24:49Do you think it's the first thing they'd want to do?
24:52No.
24:53That's why it's hypothetical.
24:54But it has been done.
24:55It is really interesting because...
24:57The answer is no, they can't.
24:59The information that their eyes tell them
25:01is a meaningless junk for quite a while.
25:03Exactly right.
25:04Because one's tactile and one's sensory.
25:06It would be completely different.
25:06Yes, but that's right.
25:07But to us it seems so obvious
25:09that perhaps we overlook
25:11how used we are to relating the feel of a corner
25:14to the look of a corner.
25:15This is cutting edge neuroscience, isn't it?
25:18There was a case recently
25:19where somebody had been blind for,
25:22I don't know,
25:22years and years and years
25:23and they restored his sight
25:25and he was able to see his own children
25:28for the first time in years
25:29and he literally didn't recognise them.
25:31It was like, you know, fuzzy lines.
25:33It took two weeks or something
25:35for them to realise,
25:37to assemble the information...
25:38They took the beards and the cats...
25:40I'm sorry, I couldn't remember this bit.
25:42It was a once in a lifetime chance.
25:44Have you done the reverse thing
25:45which is to go to that...
25:46There's a restaurant where it's completely dark.
25:48I went to one in Berlin
25:49called Noctia, I think it is.
25:50Yes, where it's absolutely blind.
25:52Have you...
25:52No, I haven't but I mean to go
25:54because it's really extraordinary
25:54and it's blind people who serve you
25:56so they walk around with great ease
25:57Yes, that's right. The waiters are all blind.
25:58and you can't see anything at all.
25:59Now, I would imagine,
26:00does it make a difference to how you eat things?
26:01I don't mean that you'd miss your mouth,
26:03but I mean that it tastes different.
26:04Yes, it does. That's really the point.
26:05They talk you through the food, they tell you...
26:07and you feel it and you smell it
26:09and you use all these other things
26:10that you usually forget to use
26:12when you're eating food
26:12because you're looking at people
26:14and talking to them
26:14and you just look down
26:15and see how well arranged it is
26:17but instead you're going to...
26:18It's quite animal.
26:19The weird thing is going to the loo, of course.
26:21This waiter takes you by the hand
26:22and kind of threads you through the tables.
26:25You go into a closed passageway.
26:26He closes one door,
26:28which is into the restaurant,
26:29so that stays dark
26:30and then he opens the other door
26:32towards where the loos are
26:33and he doesn't actually take the old chap out
26:35or anything like that.
26:37That would be a bit cheeky.
26:39Unless you tip him very well.
26:40Unless you tip him very well.
26:42You can go to a little chef
26:44and you're served by people
26:45with complete indifference.
26:48It's an amazing sort of experience.
26:51Not since Heston Blumenthal took it.
26:52Yeah, absolutely not.
26:53Yeah.
26:54So, that's quite right, John.
26:56Absolutely spot on.
26:57Now, a lorry load of birds
26:59are being weighed on a weigh bridge.
27:01At some moment,
27:02all the birds simultaneously
27:03rise off their perches
27:04and flap in the air.
27:06So they're all alive?
27:07Oh yeah, they're all alive, yeah.
27:08Does the lorry weigh less?
27:10Yes.
27:10When they rise up in the air?
27:12Yes.
27:13Well, only if they...
27:14Got a yes and a no.
27:15So they're not in contact
27:16with the actual thing?
27:17No.
27:17So no, they...
27:18Don't they...
27:19Is it sealed, the lorry?
27:21It's a closed...
27:22You know, it's got a tailgate.
27:23It's all locked up.
27:24They're inside the lorry.
27:25You can't see them.
27:25But wouldn't there be pressure
27:27from the air?
27:28Yeah.
27:29It's not.
27:29They don't.
27:30It wears the same
27:30and it's got something to do.
27:32It's something very similar to...
27:34If you weigh yourself
27:34and then you go and do a number two
27:36and weigh yourself again,
27:37you don't lose the weight
27:38of the number two.
27:40Ah.
27:42Now, they're wearing
27:43a slightly different, Terry.
27:44I...
27:45I...
27:45I'm sorry.
27:46I will wrap on the scales.
27:54You're right.
27:55The answer is not to poo on the scales.
27:59Leave the scales.
28:00Do the number two.
28:01What?
28:02You don't lose...
28:03You don't lose it when you...
28:04Of course you do.
28:05Of course you do.
28:05Of course you do.
28:05Of course you do.
28:06Of course you do.
28:06Of course you do.
28:12I know this.
28:13So they all lift off
28:14for exactly the same time.
28:15Yeah.
28:15Now the fact is,
28:16it is the way...
28:16It's a bird...
28:17The bird lorry system.
28:20It's there in the...
28:20I know it's weird, but...
28:22Is it sealed?
28:22Is it to do with it being sealed?
28:24Yeah.
28:24Because if you're carrying a bowling ball
28:25and you're on the scales
28:27and then you throw the bowling ball
28:28in the air...
28:29Yeah.
28:29It's your part of something
28:30when you're inside it.
28:32Yeah, but because it's sealed...
28:33And the air's moving...
28:34You...
28:34You and the air
28:35have created that weight
28:37so whenever the birds
28:38put themselves within there...
28:39...it still weighs the same.
28:40But the interesting question...
28:41And you're absolutely right.
28:42I mean, you can...
28:42You can sort of test it.
28:43I don't pass it off that easily.
28:45Yeah.
28:45But the interesting question is,
28:46if it's an open-top lorry
28:48and they're all sitting on the perch
28:49and they jump up...
28:50Isn't it?
28:51And they jump up slightly higher
28:52and then they're actually out of the system.
28:54They're no longer part of the lorry bird system.
28:56Then...
28:56Then it would be like it.
28:57Well, there we are.
28:58Well done, everybody.
29:00That was...
29:00Perhaps now it's time to move on
29:01from our hypotheticals.
29:02That was very quick.
29:05So...
29:06Hypothetical problems are, of course,
29:07the curse of the practical man,
29:09but...
29:09How do curses work?
29:12Well, you get...
29:13Someone curses you
29:14and you think that you've been cursed
29:16so you change your own behaviour
29:17and bring about your own downfall.
29:18That's kind of more or less precisely right.
29:21It's a negative version of what effect?
29:24The placebo effect?
29:25Yes, it is indeed.
29:26I'm on the wrong show.
29:27I should be on Mastermind.
29:28You should!
29:30Are you saying it only works if you believe it?
29:32Yes.
29:33It's like a placebo.
29:34It's actually called the nocebo effect.
29:37N-O-C-E-B-O.
29:39As in noxious, as in harm.
29:41I will harm nocebo in Latin.
29:43So if I made a voodoo doll of Johnny
29:44and I stuck pins in it,
29:45it wouldn't work unless I sent him
29:47a sort of picture on his phone
29:48I'd done it.
29:49Yes.
29:49And he believed, of course,
29:51that the point is you have to believe it.
29:53You have to get a good likeness.
29:54Yeah.
29:55Otherwise,
29:55Peter Kerr would be rolling around in pain.
30:01That would never do.
30:03Now, are the curses...
30:04Do you know what the 27 Club is?
30:06Is a curse supposed to be?
30:07No.
30:08Something to do with nearing your 30th birthday?
30:11Yes, it is.
30:11Is it a particular age, 27,
30:13that seems to resonate in popular cultural history?
30:17Oh.
30:17Is there people who died at 27?
30:19Yes.
30:19Can you name some who died at 27?
30:21It's quite a...
30:21James Dean or someone like that?
30:23Is it older than that, isn't it?
30:24He's older than that.
30:25Jim Morrison.
30:27Yes, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin.
30:32Yeah.
30:33More.
30:34Kurt Cobain.
30:35Brian Jones.
30:36And Brian Jones, in fact, yes.
30:37And Robert Johnson of Crossroads fame.
30:39All 27, really?
30:40They're all aged 27.
30:42Old enough to develop enough of an intolerance to something to keep doing too much of it.
30:46To keep doing too much of it.
30:46And young enough to be stupid enough to keep doing too much of it.
30:49Probably right.
30:50It's the late 20s.
30:51Yeah.
30:51It's a very hazardous age.
30:52It is, clearly.
30:53Do you know about the curse of the ninth?
30:55What would that be?
30:56They all died on the ninth?
30:57No.
30:58This is getting ridiculous.
30:59Is that a Roman legion?
31:01Too much?
31:01Not a Roman legion.
31:02The eagle of the ninth, not that.
31:04No, it's symphonies.
31:05Oh, yes, you're not supposed to write more than nine.
31:08You're supposed to write...
31:09Well, it's not the way you're supposed to, but it's a large...
31:11Beethoven wrote nine and then popped off.
31:13They finish your ninth and you die while writing the tenth.
31:16Happened to Dvorak, and Beethoven, and Bruckner, and Schubert.
31:21What an unusual serial killer, that one.
31:23So that's the curse of the ninth.
31:24Only that had CSI Vienna.
31:30The Nossebo effect is the placebo effect's evil cousin.
31:34Now, hypothetically, what would happen if Schrodinger put a Siamese cat
31:38in the fridge?
31:40In the fridge?
31:42In the fridge?
31:42Yeah.
31:42Well, he wouldn't know if it was a light or dead.
31:45Oh, good.
31:45You're referring to Schrodinger's cat, which is what?
31:47Yeah.
31:48I'd learned about this on Horizon.
31:49Very good.
31:51You don't know until you open the door, do you, whether the cat is alive?
31:54That is the sort of quantum paradox of...
31:56of Schrodinger's cat, yes.
31:58You put the Siamese cat in the fridge?
32:00What is the question?
32:03What would happen to the cat?
32:05It would get cold.
32:06It would get cold.
32:07It would get cold.
32:07What would happen to the fridge?
32:08There'd be less milk left, probably.
32:10It would eat all the tuna melt.
32:11All the tuna melt would go, yes.
32:13But something quite extraordinary would happen.
32:16It would turn into an ordinary cat.
32:19Well, almost.
32:20Almost.
32:21Turn into a dog?
32:22No, no.
32:23Nor is it that remarkable.
32:24In seconds.
32:25What are you...
32:26What are you...
32:28Let's have a look at the Siamese cat and see what's particular about it.
32:33White-bodied black face.
32:34Ah, so there's a black body and a white face.
32:36It's got a white body and a black tail and black ears and black mouth and black socks.
32:42In other words, black extremities.
32:44What is particular about the extremities of any mammal?
32:47They're cold.
32:48They're cold.
32:48Right.
32:49So if you put the whole animal in a fridge...
32:51Right.
32:51It goes black.
32:52It goes black, Johnny.
32:54You're absolutely right.
32:55That's death.
32:55Oh, isn't it?
32:56There.
32:56That's what happens.
32:58It's fur has this peculiar colourant that keeps it pale in warm blood heat.
33:05But there's only a small difference in temperature down and it will lose...
33:08It will lose the white or gain the black, whichever way you prefer to look at it.
33:11And when you take it out, does it go pale again?
33:13Yes, it will go back to its normal colour again.
33:15It would be worth trying just for the laugh, wouldn't it?
33:18I don't like cats very much.
33:20And I think, well, it's funny.
33:21No, I'm sorry.
33:22So many cats, so few recipes.
33:23I just think...
33:26I just think it sounds like fun.
33:28You can also try it on a Himalayan rabbit.
33:31They have the same issue.
33:34But please don't try it.
33:35Please don't.
33:35No, no.
33:36Do you know about buttered cat?
33:40There's a recipe statement.
33:43Buttered cat syndrome.
33:44Oh, you put butter on their paws to stop them going home.
33:47There is that.
33:48But this is a kind of paradox, really.
33:49Because there are two laws, aren't there?
33:51One is that if you have a piece of buttered toast and you drop it, what happens?
33:54It falls buttered side down.
33:54It falls buttered side down.
33:55And if you drop a cat, what happens to the cat?
33:58It falls buttered side up.
33:59No, no.
33:59No, no, no.
34:00No, no, no.
34:00Perfect.
34:01It falls down.
34:02So if you were to put a piece of toast with the butter up and attach it to a cat,
34:06that's
34:07very lovely.
34:07Right?
34:08What would happen is the cat would drop and it would have to revolve forever.
34:13Because the two laws would compete and it would be in total balance.
34:18What if it weren't with margarine?
34:20I don't know.
34:21I think the law doesn't state that the margarine falls down.
34:25I can't believe it's not butter.
34:33What if it was margarine but the cat believed it was butter?
34:36Ah, the placebo effect.
34:38Exactly.
34:39Brilliant.
34:40Brilliant.
34:41You've all got the point.
34:43What if cats discovered this and started to migrate?
34:46Where would they go?
34:49I don't know.
34:51What is it?
34:52It's just a cat with a piece of toast.
34:54I'm not going to dictate that.
34:56Let's just keep it from them.
34:58So, yeah, yeah.
34:59The point is if you put a Siamese cat in the fridge for long enough, and actually it
35:02would have to be quite a long time, probably weeks, it would go black.
35:06And you absolutely mustn't.
35:08But after that voyage through a land where there are no wrong answers, we come at last
35:12to one where there is rarely a right one.
35:14The realm of general ignorance.
35:16So, put your fingers on your buzzers and tell me.
35:18You're on death row.
35:19All right.
35:20What can you tell me about your last meal?
35:23Hmm.
35:24It's three courses.
35:27Three courses?
35:28Yeah.
35:29And it's absolutely whatever you want.
35:36Not necessarily the case at all that you can order whatever you want.
35:39You can only have what they've got in the kitchen.
35:41You know where there's death row in England?
35:44Tell.
35:44No.
35:44It's the Lord's Pavilion.
35:47Yeah.
35:47Seating in the pavilion is unreserved.
35:49And so you have to get there pretty early in the morning for the Australian test, for
35:53example.
35:53Yeah.
35:54But nowadays, a lot of the MCC members are living to a very old age.
36:00And they can't get there at six.
36:02So the oldest, I think there's about 18 seats or something in a row, they have a seat.
36:08The oldest, so next, number of members.
36:11That's called death row.
36:13That's right.
36:14By the Stuarts.
36:17But you can't even choose what you're going to have for your last supper.
36:21In different states it varies, but in some states there's a $20 budget.
36:25In Florida it's a $40 budget.
36:28Sometimes they're really mean.
36:29There was a figure called Philip Workman who asked for a large vegetarian pizza to be
36:34given to a homeless person as his last dinner and the prison officials refused.
36:39And after this guy was executed, all kinds of homeless shelters all over Tennessee, the
36:45state where it happened, were sent these vegetarian pizzas for homeless people by just ordinary
36:52Americans who wanted to honour his last wishes.
36:54It's rather touching.
36:55That's lovely.
36:55But wouldn't it be awful if you were about to die and you've got a very limited menu?
36:59Yeah, I know.
36:59And huge portions are pared down.
37:01So there was one who requested 24 tacos and he only got four.
37:05Oh.
37:06No, no.
37:07Doesn't it mean?
37:07You're not allowed to smoke.
37:09No.
37:09Even if you want to.
37:10Hardly worth being there.
37:11It almost isn't.
37:12It almost isn't.
37:14And some of them get very mournful about this.
37:16A fellow called Thomas Grasso, his last words in 1995 were,
37:20Please tell the media I did not get my SpaghettiOs.
37:23I got spaghetti.
37:24I want the press to know this.
37:28It's very forlorn, isn't it?
37:29Do they say to you, did you have anything from the minibar last night?
37:34I probably do.
37:36I'd want a kinder egg.
37:37A kinder egg?
37:38Yes.
37:38I'd want, you know, some chocolate, a toy and a surprise.
37:43Just to, what's not to like?
37:45Just to distract you from death.
37:48Anyway, in the USA, most states place strict restrictions on inmates.
37:53Special meals, as they're called.
37:55And in some states, it isn't even their final meal.
37:57They actually have it two weeks or so before they're executed.
38:00So, start me when you know what I'm talking about now.
38:03Um, it's an insectivorous mammal.
38:06It's found all around the world.
38:08It's active at night.
38:10It's almost totally blind.
38:15Uh, yeah.
38:17A bat.
38:17A bat?
38:18A bat?
38:19I didn't even go into that.
38:21No.
38:22You were so right until the last part.
38:24Yeah.
38:24It's not blind then.
38:26Anteater?
38:27What do you say?
38:27No, not an anteater, no.
38:29It's insectivorous.
38:30I mean, it could eat ants.
38:31Is it a mole?
38:33A mole is the right answer.
38:35I said mole.
38:36Oh, did you?
38:36I'm sorry.
38:37Did he say mole, ladies and gentlemen?
38:38Yes.
38:39No, because sound is just a thing and it didn't try.
38:46Yeah, if you didn't hear me say mole, then I didn't say mole.
38:50So, you need the points, I suspect, Alan, after the back thing.
38:52They probably do.
38:53No, there are about 1,100 different species of bat and none of them is sightless.
38:57Not one is blind.
38:58It's a mole completely sightless, then?
39:00The mole, it can just about distinguish between light and dark, but essentially it's blind.
39:03You can tell if it's certainly a lot.
39:05Telly's on or off.
39:05Yes, if you like.
39:07It's a lot.
39:07Yeah, you can't tell if it's on standby.
39:10How many moles do you think there are in Ireland?
39:12None.
39:13You're right, there are none.
39:14Right.
39:14They were very poly with the snakes.
39:16Well, they, glaciation in the separation of Ireland from the rest of the place, they never got
39:20back because it was then an island.
39:22They can tunnel.
39:22Like snakes.
39:23They can tunnel.
39:24If any animal can tunnel, it would be a mole.
39:26Oh, sweet.
39:27Look.
39:28You say sweet, but almost certainly all photographs of moles that are taken are of dead moles.
39:34Because they fluff them up and you can't tell because their eyes are always little black
39:39slits.
39:40It's like all those greetings card pictures.
39:41You know, the cat in a deck chair or a cat hitting the mouth with a spoon.
39:44They're all dead.
39:45Yeah.
39:46I fear so.
39:47Yes.
39:47Moles are as blind as the proverbial bats.
39:49Bats perversely aren't.
39:51And finally, the ultimate hypothetical question.
39:54Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
39:59Ah.
40:00Chicken.
40:03The egg.
40:04The egg is the right answer.
40:06Yes.
40:06Yes.
40:07Yes.
40:07There's that wonderful old joke about chicken and egg have just made love.
40:10And they're lying there having a bit of a post-coital cigarette.
40:13And the chicken says to the egg, well, that answers that old question.
40:22But as did great scientist JBS Haldane said, anyone who can ask that question obviously
40:27hasn't understood evolution because a chicken evolved from reptiles that laid eggs themselves.
40:32So those eggs were always coming well before there was a chicken, there were eggs.
40:36So it did indeed come first, the egg.
40:40What's unique about chickens?
40:42Well, there are quite a few things that are unique about them, but the most obvious thing
40:45looking at that, what does it have that no other bird has?
40:48Combs.
40:49No other animal has those strange combs on the head.
40:52It's thought to be something to do with temperature regulation.
40:55They cool themselves down by the regulation of blood flow and all that sort of thing.
40:59What's the longest recorded flight by a chicken in time terms, not distance?
41:0213 seconds, isn't it?
41:04Something like that?
41:05Is it?
41:05Yes.
41:07Yes, it is 13 seconds.
41:09Is it really?
41:11Yeah.
41:15I don't think they're going to be a record short.
41:18I don't claim that's true, but that is one of the oldest internet pieces of trivia I know,
41:24apart from a duck's quack does not echo and no one knows why.
41:29Which we know isn't true.
41:30No, we know that isn't true.
41:32So anyway, birds evolved from egg-laying reptiles, so there were definitely eggs before there were chickens.
41:38So we emerge older but not much wiser at the end of the only quiz show to offer no answers,
41:42just more questions.
41:43But had there been answers, let's see who would hypothetically have won.
41:49And our theoretical winner tonight, with two points, is Sandy Toksvig.
41:58Notionally in second place is Elfmaster General John Lloyd with minus one.
42:09On paper in third place, with an extremely creditable minus seven, Johnny Vegas.
42:17Finally proving that it's all academic and a dream, with minus 27, Alan Davis.
42:30So, that's all from this hypothetical edition of QI, or is it?
42:34Yes, it is.
42:35So, it's goodnight from Sandy, Johnny, John, Alan and me.
42:38Goodnight.
42:39Jade-Nate.
42:39Jade-Nate.
42:39Jade-Nate.
42:39Jade-Nate.
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