- 9 minutes ago
First broadcast 30th January 1978.
A Scotsman hires Hazell to discover how he woke up from a drunken bender with £1000 of someone else's money in his pocket.
Nicholas Ball - James Hazell
Roddy McMillan - 'Choc' Minty
Barbara Young - Dot Wilmington
Maggie Riley - Maureen
James Faulkner - Gordon Gregory
Fiona Mollison - Diane
Bill Henderson - Alec Gilbraith
Michael Elphick - Griffiths
Diane Fletcher - Sybil
Susan Baker - Pattie (as Susie Baker)
David Cardy - Harry
Dicken Ashworth - Bouncer
Katherine Schofield - Ingrid (as Katharine Schofield)
Kevin Lloyd - Mickey Bowers
Stewart Harwood - Heavy
Diana Rowan - Busker
Steve Hodson - Fiancee
Lloyd Anderson - Cabbie
A Scotsman hires Hazell to discover how he woke up from a drunken bender with £1000 of someone else's money in his pocket.
Nicholas Ball - James Hazell
Roddy McMillan - 'Choc' Minty
Barbara Young - Dot Wilmington
Maggie Riley - Maureen
James Faulkner - Gordon Gregory
Fiona Mollison - Diane
Bill Henderson - Alec Gilbraith
Michael Elphick - Griffiths
Diane Fletcher - Sybil
Susan Baker - Pattie (as Susie Baker)
David Cardy - Harry
Dicken Ashworth - Bouncer
Katherine Schofield - Ingrid (as Katharine Schofield)
Kevin Lloyd - Mickey Bowers
Stewart Harwood - Heavy
Diana Rowan - Busker
Steve Hodson - Fiancee
Lloyd Anderson - Cabbie
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:26Piano music
00:31You're not still looking for my jar of coffee, are you?
00:33I told you I'd shove it in a bank every night.
00:35I broke my pencil.
00:39My pencil. My best pencil, as it happens.
00:41Your only pencil, I'd have looked for it.
00:44I've got a client for you.
00:46Terrific.
00:46Just phoned. His hotel, 11 o'clock.
00:49Oh, look, I haven't got my motor. I mean, why can't he come here?
00:52Well, I did suggest that, knowing how you hate to put one leg in front of the other,
00:56but apparently he's afraid that somebody might be following you.
01:00So?
01:01So, if he was seen to be coming here,
01:04it would be perfectly apparent that he was considering the services of a,
01:07pardon me for laughing, private investigator.
01:11Now, you go to his hotel, and you could be anybody,
01:15if you follow his meaning.
01:17Frankly, no.
01:19Frankly, neither do I.
01:21Why should he think that someone's following him?
01:24Are you sure that they are?
01:27In fact, he didn't seem frightfully sure about anything.
01:32Which, as I vaguely understood it, would appear to be his problem.
01:37What is he? Some kind of nutter?
01:39No.
01:40But he did seem awfully shy.
01:44Well, didn't he give you any information at all?
01:46Of a sort.
01:47Well, let's have it, then.
01:50Please.
01:53Mr Galbraith, it would appear,
01:55was down from Bonny, Scotland,
01:57to attend a conference of local government officials.
01:59Mr Galbraith, he used his own words,
02:02being something rather big in his local town hall.
02:05He attends his conference every year,
02:07combining it with a week of his holidays.
02:09The other two weeks,
02:10he takes his widowed mother
02:11to stay with his auntie in Bournemouth.
02:14Mr Galbraith, being a bachelor,
02:16and clearly very much at Mummy's beck and call.
02:19All very fascinating.
02:21But what has this got to do with employing me, Mr Galbraith?
02:25See, Mr Hazel, where I come from,
02:28or any hint of scandal, you understand it.
02:31It's a very close community.
02:33And more than that, I've got to think of my mother.
02:35You talking about blackmail, Mr Galbraith?
02:38Well, last night, being the finish of the conference,
02:41I decided to go out and relax.
02:43Just a quiet meal and a few drinks, perhaps.
02:46On your own?
02:47No, with some chaps from the conference, I think.
02:51You think?
02:52Well, I mean, I started off with them.
02:54I'm sure of that.
02:56But from then on, the truth is,
02:59it's a complete blur.
03:01All I remember is waking up this morning,
03:04lying on that bed, fully clothed.
03:06The porter said I didn't come in till half past five this morning.
03:09And it's terrible.
03:11It's terrible.
03:13And it's so unlike me.
03:16And there a case rest, Your Honour?
03:18That's bad enough, but listen.
03:20My coat was lying there, over that chair,
03:22exactly as it is now,
03:23and sticking outside at the port...
03:25Well, look for yourself.
03:42That's more than £1,000 there, Mr Hazel.
03:44More than £1,000.
03:45That simply can't account for.
03:48So you went to a gambling club?
03:49Well, I never gamble.
03:50Well, not that bonnie Scotland, maybe.
03:52Never!
03:53You can't remember what happened.
03:54More of a something illegal, Mr Hazel.
03:56Something like that.
03:58Think of the disgrace,
03:59and it should never get back.
04:01You don't know what it's like, Mr Hazel.
04:03I think I'm beginning to.
04:05Take it to the police.
04:06Let them sort it out.
04:07Then that involved me.
04:08Don't you see that?
04:09As it happens, no.
04:12Well, you work for me,
04:13or you're not, Mr Hazel.
04:14I'm a desperate man.
04:16What exactly would you like me to do?
04:18Find out where the money came from.
04:20How am I supposed to do that?
04:21Well, I retrace my steps, as it were.
04:23Well, why can't you retrace your steps, as it were?
04:28What I'm looking for, Mr Hazel,
04:30is discreet assistance.
04:33I mean, you know about these things.
04:38I've got a cousin, called Chell,
04:40who'd be in the south of France with this lot by now.
04:43No questions.
04:44No second thoughts.
04:46In Scotland, Mr Hazel.
04:48My man is born.
04:49And he's guilty.
04:51And not only in a court of law.
04:54No wonder all you jocks go mad when you cross the border.
04:57Will you help me, Mr Hazel?
05:01Tell you what.
05:02Just for the day, see how it goes.
05:04There'll be 25 quid plus expenses.
05:07Oh, will there be many expenses?
05:10Yes or no.
05:14Yes.
05:16Come on.
05:18What about the two guys you started out with?
05:21I found a hotel the left area this morning.
05:24How much do you remember?
05:25Well, the conference finished at about six o'clock.
05:27And I went to the bar with the teacher,
05:28dad, for a drink.
05:29Nothing much, you know.
05:30It used to be sociable.
05:31Oh, and somebody thought about a mule on the bar,
05:34and I think that...
05:34Excuse me.
05:35Sweet dreams and flying machines
05:37and pieces on the ground.
05:43Do you sure Mammy know you're doing this?
05:45What are you going to eat?
05:47It's true.
05:48It's very true.
05:52It's for you.
05:58Where exactly are we going?
06:00Well, first we'll pick up my motor.
06:04Then we'll lodge the loop.
06:06The what?
06:081,420 pounds.
06:09Something like that.
06:11And you, uh...
06:13You want me to keep it in my seat?
06:15What the time be.
06:16Yes, go.
06:17What's wrong with the back?
06:19It's, uh...
06:20A matter of convenience.
06:24Come in, Diane, will you please?
06:26I won't keep you a moment, Mr...
06:31This one is all right, isn't it, James?
06:32I mean, it's not, um...
06:34Not hot or anything.
06:35Gordon.
06:36Gordon.
06:36Oh!
06:37Oh, excuse me.
06:39Um...
06:40I just remember where we ate last night.
06:42Oh.
06:44The King John banqueting homes.
06:46Oh.
06:47Very nice.
06:51Who is he?
06:53I'll tell you this much, Gordon.
06:55He's very big in Paisley.
06:58Oh, Diane, put this in the safe, Mr. Hazel, would you?
07:00Mr. Hazel?
07:01One thousand four hundred and twenty pounds.
07:03Easy come, easy go, sweetheart.
07:05Excuse me, Miss, uh...
07:07Well, I'll get a receipt.
07:10The man would like a receipt.
07:12Well, yes, of course.
07:14Uh, Mr, uh...
07:15Galbraith.
07:15Alexander Duncan Galbraith.
07:18Certainly I remember, Mr. Galbraith.
07:20My dear, the life and soul.
07:22Quite made our evening.
07:24Oh?
07:24How was that?
07:25Little things, really.
07:26Little things like trying to enhance the minstrel's codpiece
07:30with a portion of spotted dick.
07:32Fun things, you might say.
07:33Isn't that right, Mr. Galbraith?
07:35Yes, it was quite amusing, I must say.
07:39Sir, I, uh...
07:40I understand the evening's can get quite lively,
07:42your sort of place.
07:43Partly attraction, I thought.
07:44Oh, I'm not complaining.
07:46As I say, he was a big hit, weren't you, Mr. Galbraith?
07:49Yes, yes.
07:50Which is why we made you Chief Baron, isn't it?
07:53Was it?
07:54By popular demand.
07:56Chief Baron?
07:57One of the guests is always made Chief Baron.
07:59He sits here and presides, as it were.
08:03Mind you, they don't all immediately demand their droide de seigneur,
08:06especially when it involves 12 members of the Milwaukee branch
08:09of the Women for Peace movement.
08:11A single-handed, as I remember.
08:14I can only offer my humblest apologies, madam.
08:17Oh, not at all, dear.
08:18Although I must hasten to point out
08:20that we are booked rather solidly for the next six months.
08:23Yeah, well, that's why we're here, actually,
08:25because Mr. Galbraith here wanted to apologise, personally.
08:28That's true.
08:29That's very true.
08:29No need, I assure you.
08:31I assumed it was for the photographs.
08:36Photographs?
08:36Well, you paid for them, but somehow forgot to take them.
08:41Be a good girl, Patty!
08:44Then perhaps these gentlemen will excuse us
08:46so that we can get on with our work.
08:51Yeah, well, as you can see, my friend is very depressed.
08:55Oh, dear.
08:57Yeah, well, we thought that perhaps
08:58some slight financial remuneration might ease the situation,
09:01say, £1,420.
09:04You thought what?
09:05Just my little joke.
09:07Not with you, dear, I'm afraid.
09:09There you go, tiger.
09:23Well, well.
09:26These warm your cockles, help me and poison.
09:29Excuse me, let's get some fresh air.
09:31Ladies, I can only see...
09:37Bit naughty, then, was he?
09:39We have to expect these things.
09:42Occasionally.
09:43What about the two friends he came in with?
09:45They left during the slight counter-atarm
09:47between Mr. Gulbraith and Mr. Yeldam,
09:49the Australian gentleman.
09:51You mean he was involved in a punch-up?
09:52Ever so slightly.
09:54What was it about?
09:55He was playing footsie with Mrs. Yeldam.
09:58Slightly worth a flurry of knuckle, I'd have thought.
10:00True.
10:01But then he was lying full length underneath the table.
10:05And shouting,
10:06whoopee, look what I've found.
10:09It all ended amicably enough,
10:11but then, of course, Mr. Gulbraith had passed out by that time.
10:14Now, if you'll excuse me.
10:16Yeah, sorry.
10:17Didn't mean to keep you from the accounts.
10:18Ah, not the accounts, dear.
10:20I'm rewriting the Magna Carta.
10:24Serf's rule.
10:25Okay?
10:33How did he, uh, get home?
10:36Any idea?
10:37Stanley got him into a taxi.
10:39Stanley?
10:40The doorman.
10:41Oh, what time would that be?
10:43Ah, let's see.
10:44It came round about...
10:46half twelve.
10:48Oh, no, about one o'clock.
10:49Why do you want to know?
10:50Can't he tell you?
10:52Well, he, uh,
10:52thinks he might have left something in the cab.
10:55I don't suppose Stanley would know which cabbie it was, would he?
10:58He knows most of them in this area.
11:01Why don't you ask him?
11:05You know,
11:06if I was Chief Baron,
11:08I might have demanded my Dwight of Watson.
11:10If you were Chief Baron,
11:12you might have got him.
11:14Mr. Gulbraith said he couldn't believe it,
11:16and since he wasn't used to it,
11:18it must have been a drink.
11:20I told him I had a slight lead to his next port of court,
11:24and maybe he'd prefer me to follow it up on me own.
11:27He was only too delighted.
11:31I'll see you back at your hotel.
11:33Now sit tight till I arrive.
11:35Okay?
11:41Gabby!
11:46Boring Avenue, please, Scott.
12:20Are you fresh?
12:23who wants him oh stanley sent me now which stanley stanley from the court of king john
12:30oh that's stanley well what's the problem no problem just some information information i'm
12:40sure of food i'm up to here with have some cheese cup you don't need to get an ulcer she
12:46says tell
12:46me i said what room have i got for an ulcer what information last night you picked up a punter
12:52from stanley's place just after one o'clock huh medium-sized light raincoat scotch
13:00him
13:04him
13:13yeah well i just wonder where you took him who wants to know who are you his brother with an
13:22accent like that yeah we're not very close family all right so why'd you want to know someone slipped
13:29him a grand he wants to slip it back again oh yeah apart from that he's lost his umbrella somewhere
13:33i'm trying to help him find it yeah all right i picked him up what of him i just want
13:43to know
13:43where you dropped him you want to know all right i'll tell you okay baby says take me where the
13:50action
13:50is what action i say the brides the brides he says take me to the brides i'm telling you it's
13:58solywood 1950 you're drunk i says home to popos hey oh nate is young and i'm beautiful he says take
14:06me where the action is and then he's on his knees with his head out the window singing manly so
14:12what
14:12am i supposed to do i took him where some club which club well how am i supposed to remember
14:17which club
14:18all i want to do is get rid of the man harry you know and i know a punter wants
14:23a good time you take
14:23him somewhere you get a commission now that is your business my business is looking after my little
14:29brother there uh won't be no aggravation no aggravation my life where there's this little place just off the
14:41avenue you know the sort of place i mean yeah i know the sort of place you mean tits bums
14:51and bubbly
14:53this some sort of joke chutney no no straight up why do you want to know well he's uh he's
14:59lost his
14:59briefcase i'm trying to help him find it why can't he find it himself he's in the hospital i'm not
15:03surprised what are you doing very nice show sir you'll enjoy yourself plenty of lovely girls inside
15:10what happened then bloody madman i threw him out that's what happened only getting up on the stage
15:15with the artiste and taking his clothes off one in that's terrible you gotta draw the line somewhere
15:21right right see you later chuck so you threw him out tote sweet see which way it went what am
15:30i the
15:30bloody aa or something i don't know i mean yeah i didn't even get the cabal the last i saw
15:35of him
15:35he was shouting and yelling down the streets banging on the baker's window over there demanding a cheese
15:40roll bloody foreigners coming down here mucking up our city
15:44i know it ought to be a lorem at least a fine say uh 1420 quid you what nothing are
15:53you coming in or
15:54aren't you uh i'll come back later right piss off good evening sir very nice show you'll enjoy yourself
16:02lots of lovely girls inside from what i've been hearing it occurred to me that what jolly jock was
16:14suffering from was a slight case of the hysterical amnesias so far i could see him taking a grand from
16:20him but giving it not a chance and the trail as they say had gone cold so when in doubt
16:28consult the client
16:41well well if it isn't super sleuth
16:50i understand them man come in cheers
16:57terrific
17:13i'm glad you came mr hazel i thought we needed a wee bit of conversation when a man feels in
17:20need of
17:20a conversation that's what you said you didn't drink so she had desperate to be cooked who said that
17:25you did it's someone like me you said your very words true but if a man cannot be social
17:33a man should not be staying at this hotel to do a great breakfast you mr hazel grapefruit etc
17:41no surprises me because not only do i find english stupid but i find them particularly stupid when it
17:49comes to the matter of breakfast grapefruit etc don't bother honest i need to ask you something mr hazel
17:57can i ask you a question please please look uh are you english through and through
18:05i thought that you're not ashamed that is funny
18:10you mr hazel you mr hazel are a bastard you're an english bastard you're an english cockney bastard
18:19i thought you don't mind me mentioning it and frankly mr hazel i don't care if you do
18:24you're an english bastard cheers
18:29look uh mr galbraith about the money it's funny you should mention that i've been thinking
18:36my sod the money who do we need the money i tell you what let's spend it yeah do you
18:43like cyprus jimmy
18:44eh let's say we go to cyprus to hell with paisley is that no good idea eh i'll just give
18:50my man a wee
18:50ring oh my golf golf do you like golf jimmy is that it eh look sod paisley sod cyprus sod
19:00english let's
19:01get a first plane to port you got wine women and golf is that no good idea kind of a
19:08bar what do you say
19:08what i say mr galbraith is that i've come to a dead end who's a dead end you're getting personal
19:20because if you are i'll have to know what you're doing personally look mr galbraith if you can't
19:24remember you can't remember you can't of course i can bloody remember mine's like a razor a bloody
19:29razor mommy mommy mommy you'd take me for it you mean you can remember hey what do you say to
19:38portugal sorry portugal last night look you had something to eat you got into a taxi you went to a
19:50club oh do you know what jimmy she was waving it at me waving it and when i went to
19:58grab a hold of
19:58it you know what happened jimmy they escorted me for the premises me it was forth and lying to meet
20:04a duchess again i'll punch your bloody feats yeah later what happened then who after you was escorted
20:12from the premises i fell in love who will a vision in white let's see well did this vision have
20:23a name
20:24oh the most beautiful sound in a single word try and remember the word maria maria maria maria maria
20:38ingrid ingrid ingrid i'd like to meet this ingrid oh you know what i'd like jimmy i'd like a bacon
20:46sandwich ingrid i'll give her a ring see she's got a wee plough what's the number
20:59i've just met a girl called maria and suddenly that name i'll take it that she would never be the
21:11same
21:13works here
21:18maria
21:34mr hatzell james james james
21:44you like oil or talc uh oil hard or soft
21:50what you like hard or soft massage um what do you say
21:58hard is best hard it is
22:04sorry you have very nice skin james
22:07uh-huh
22:08ta try and leave a bit on will you it comes in handy keep the rain out you like more
22:12soft no no it's
22:13hard first soft later okay makes a change hey for those of a sadomasochistic nature
22:24this is no doubt known as romantic titillation for my part i'm strictly a moonlight and roses operator
22:31although much more of this and i won't have many parts left
22:44i understand you asked for me personally yeah
22:49i was recommended good you must be ingrid he said she's fantastic i like to make my clients happy
22:57yeah i can tell i think you are a very impatient boy james
23:05me plenty of time relax relax i'm trying i'm trying he was here last night as it happens
23:16yes it's a friend of mine oh yes yeah alec his name is oh yes alec very nice man i
23:23like him
23:23worth a bubble too and all yes he was very nice to me
23:32i do it not so hard now hey james
23:40still celebrating this morning celebrating yeah didn't he tell you oh he seems to have
23:47come into some money over a grand what near 1400 quid the funny thing is he reckons he can't remember
23:53where he got it from funny old world isn't it how can he not know where it came from i
24:00don't know
24:01rings he must have won it gambling all he knows is he woke up this morning finished oh i have
24:09a client
24:09waiting a special he looks after me i would have looked after you in one hour i finish here you
24:17get
24:17dressed you wait for me outside we go back to my place
24:26as much as i'd like to i've got some business tell them tomorrow
24:32no can do how long will you be can't say tell you what give me your phone number no oh
24:42well
24:43some other time all right i like you just this once i give you my number
24:52you promised to phone
24:56scout's honor
25:03somehow i'd stumbled on a very worried lady worried enough to get thrown and behave like a strict amateur
25:13anyway no point in crowding the lady let us stew or as we in the trade say
25:20always put off today what you can pick up for another 25 quid tomorrow
25:27mr hayeson hello come in
25:33i thought we were supposed to be having a meeting last night we did
25:38do you mean you were here yeah we had this cozy little chat about my heritage it seems to
25:45have slipped your memory a man gets very lonely in a strange city from what i've been making up
25:51you haven't been doing too bad
25:55do you mind the fire
26:05is it awful depends on how you view things what things
26:11vandalism common assault prostitution massage parlors strip joints usually i type up a report for the
26:18client but in this case i expect you prefer me to burn it
26:23what about the money
26:24oh i got a slight lead nothing positive you want me to follow it up
26:39well i thought i might do some shopping i'd like to take a few souvenirs home
26:43yeah i can imagine i'll be in touch oh mr hazel
26:48does it look bad it looks dodgy dodgy
26:55dodgy
26:56dodgy it's an old english word old english cockney word meaning
27:03bastardized of course
27:0732 albert mansions third floor
27:15in an hour
27:18traffic bye
27:22still there outside the grate or hair and stringed instrument hardly your type i'd have thought who is
27:28she i don't know seems to have grown very attached to me understandable look do us a favor more in
27:36darling will you i'm going to meet someone and i don't want her with me so um if you could
27:39do
27:39something to captivate her attention how am i supposed to do that i don't know use a feminine
27:43approach get her in a boston crab or an armlock or something you'll think of something i know i'll show
27:50her your holiday snaps that ought to paralyze her for at least a week there you go simple
28:03i don't know why don't you choose some music
28:22well then mr hazel
28:26sorry don't think we've been introduced
28:29well if i'd have known it was going to be a party i'd have brought my harmonica
28:34it will see mr hazel that your scotch friend has got hold of something that rightfully does not
28:37belong to him oh yeah yeah well that's something belongs to me savvy no where is he job
28:47no idea well let's keep it simple hey where is he
28:52i'll say well don't be smart or i'll have to make you tell me what are you gonna do tickle
28:57me
28:58how do you fancy some character lines on that pretty boy face of yours
29:00she put the crook the gaudier the patter eh sunshine very funny second hand i'm afraid
29:04still very funny why don't i sever your jocular vein why don't you for god's sake mickey not here
29:10shut up math now i'll ask you again where is he i'm your messenger boy cut me you'll cut everything
29:20you reckon do it see where it gets you
29:32that's better now we're all friends again you got a message now you go deliver it gotcha
29:38you see mickey no need to go waving your christmas present apart all over the place was it
29:42you know you've got a very unfortunate attitude mickey
29:47you're not just gonna let him go he's got no option sweetheart you're running scared
29:52aren't you mickey i can smell it now you tell him in touch thanks for the drink girl
30:01mickey bowers he's a small-time gangster works his muscle as and when for the big boys did he know
30:06you
30:10he's scared doc really scared they both are well at least you know where the money came from
30:19hmm maybe
30:22hey the tartan swede brasher like galbraith lift a grand of someone like bowers
30:27ask him he won't remember he will if you put it to him nicely
30:36i don't think i can stand it you'll have to
30:43when you take motorways jimmy i mean how many miles have you got bloody thousands you know what we got
30:49huh what are the motor cars supposed to do when they reach the border just discipline
31:01you're trying to get me drunk just being sociable you're trying to get me drunk you english bastard
31:08no i'm not climbing with the pure gold in my own feeling do you remember him who the fella i
31:14just
31:14described to you you take me for a moron don't you jimmy me that's a representative of a culture a
31:21thousand years older than you're on do you think i came over of course i remember him he was trying
31:26to chat up my ingrid the swine did you speak to him punch your english face in your cockney bastard
31:33oh we exchanged a few words what about just you wait till that oil comes pouring in
31:40remarked on the exquisite cut of his jib
31:44watcher watcher where was this it'll be what jimmy troops along the railway lines the lot
31:52what let's give her a wee ring see if she's got a wee parley
31:56what exactly did you say to him
32:00how's it so much that i said to him as i said to his departing back side
32:06him being english and walking out the room where i was in the middle of a
32:10dress but witty monologue well look i said it appears we both patronized the same dealer i.e.
32:19marks and spark trailer
32:22the ones that made the bloody rain cove it shed here cheers
32:32put this on
32:35wait i'm gonna find ingrid see if she's got a little friend oh yeah yeah terrific
32:41hey look let's bring them back here they do a great breakfast that's what happened you took the
32:47wrong bloody coat where are you going you stay put oh what about ingrid oh another time
32:55oh
33:12ah you're not bad sir jimmy
33:30excuse me
33:36didn't your mother never warn you about playing with strange girls what's all this about it all right
33:41officer you made your point
33:47officer detective constable evans truck squad
33:52i think it's time you and i had a little talk eh tough guy
33:56i think it's time you and i had a little talk to him
34:26oh i think so sir yeah yeah you heard of tommy griffiths
34:33well you will know that amongst other things he's into the protection racket
34:38not an easy nut to crack too many frightened little people as you well know hazel however
34:44one of his clients has finally agreed to help us big breakthrough for us that was we were very
34:51please just the facts hey chucky your friend mickey bars was the collector now we arranged for the
34:58client to hand over marked money you'll appreciate of course it's not bars we want but griffiths
35:04but to do that we need to have the money hopped in his manicured little hand only you can't do
35:11that
35:11because my pal jolly jock's got it precisely only we didn't know that did we all we knew was that
35:18mickey had made his weekly collection round and instead of taking it to griffith he disappeared
35:25best laid schemes of mice and men i'm sick hazel you know that sick
35:35i had a strong arm earlier fit into it
35:39i've been working undercover on the drug scene your friend galbraith gave me a fiver the other afternoon
35:44a fire oh no don't tell me you don't get too many fivers when you're busking so i looked a
35:50bit
35:50harder i remember the number as being one of the marked notes circulated in connection with the
35:56griffiths operation you'll go far you will i hope so of course when the constable told me you were
36:03involved your little heart sang with sheer joy yeah i can imagine but why would mickey do a runner i
36:09mean
36:09all he had to do was tell griffiths the truth well as we understand that the situation has become
36:14somewhat tenuous that having been slight differences as to the displacement of company funds in the past
36:22mickey would appear to have denied it but there is no doubt that his loyalty was on trial as it
36:28were
36:29so he panics does a fly yeah i thought he was more than a tidge nervous
36:36of course you've seen him haven't you
36:41so it's up to you hazel
36:44you mean you want me to give the money to mickey or give it to griffiths whereupon precisely
37:04how you do it is your concern thanks a lot
37:13my first instinct was to inform the client of the diabolical mess you've got me into stanley
37:19the client however was still pissed out of his mind and dreaming of things past
37:24what i didn't want was any further complications
37:30so it looks like a matter of cap in hand to mick the knife and keep him sweet while i
37:34work out a
37:35method of delivery which would not involve alterations to my flawless complexion
37:48unfortunately
37:50learn learn learn learn that's my motto mr hazel what's yours
37:59les francais très bien oui oui oui anyway nice of you to pop in
38:08we were uh just coming cherchez vous as it happens
38:14yes well i i michael has been telling me une histoire très fascinating oh oh
38:22and if there's one thing i insist on mr hazel that is that my staff is well turned out stand
38:29up michael
38:29i think i can explain mr griffiths
38:42i told you to me and now i believe you
38:44je believe you only what you should have done what you should have done was to tell me in the
38:50beginning wasn't it michael i say
38:53i believe you sit down burke
38:57now mr hazel presumably you've uh come here to uh say something
39:04i just want to say that it's all been a terrible mistake and you'll have your money first thing
39:07tomorrow oh très bien only young michael here seems to believe that you've been negotiating as
39:13it were for some kind of percentage yeah well i admit i have been pushing me luck mr griffiths
39:21if i'd have known it was your money i mean the man didn't say it's not the money that concerns
39:26me
39:26it's the principle that i'm concerned with oh my word gets round as it happens i should be busy
39:34tomorrow matin so let's say trois heures après midi yeah that'll suit me nicely trois heures bc uh three o
39:45'clock bc
39:52what do you mean don't rock the boat i did play ball with him practically prostrated myself
40:01pros prostrated look chalky what i'm trying to say is i need looking after
40:09yeah three o'clock tomorrow afternoon
40:13you bet your sweet life i'm gonna give it to him but first i gotta get it haven't i
40:18what do you mean he took it he took it it being his money gordon how could you do this
40:25to me my
40:26dear james if you remember you were somewhat less than forthcoming about this money
40:32ah a small token of appreciation from mr galbraith flowers i got roses pink ones what do i get broken
40:41legs will use your phone and your job you might have stopped him phone me or something why he had
40:45the receipt did he say where he was going no well did he say why he wanted it well actually
40:51he seemed a
40:52bit uh bit what well tiddly tiddly up past nine in the morning and already he's tiddly oh he's on
41:02his
41:02holidays room 63 mr goldbraith but hey he went out last night about 11 o'clock and he ain't been
41:13seen
41:14since oh dear how terrible i need help how i always said that right in the first minute i saw
41:22true that
41:22boy needs help she said i'm serious so are we how can we be of assistance thank you how'd you
41:34fancy a
41:34quick spot of leg work round the flesh pots super
41:58i was banking on the knowledge that you wouldn't go far
42:02trouble is with that amount of dough in his pocket how far would someone take him
42:35so
42:44so
42:45so
42:45so
43:12Bingo!
43:27Yeah, well, life's full of little disappointments, ain't it?
43:58At least I knew he hadn't been back to his hotel.
44:04I also knew it was gone one o'clock and suddenly my stomach was turning decidedly dodgy.
44:16Hey, Jimmy!
44:20Where the hell have you been?
44:22I want you to be the first to congratulate me.
44:25What are you talking about?
44:26I'm engaged.
44:32Hello.
44:36Don't you think she's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen?
44:39Oh, I do, I do.
44:40Now, you come along with me.
44:41There's a good boy.
44:43Oh, ma'am.
44:44Well, where we'll go, Miss Wilmington wants us all to have a look at the menu.
44:47Oh, they do a great thing for sale.
44:50Really?
44:50Oh, yeah.
44:52No surprise, isn't it?
44:53No, because no one does have things in the stupid...
45:06Nice fella, Alec.
45:08Trouble is, a nice fella like that, people are inclined to take advantage, you know what I mean?
45:12Hmm?
45:13I mean, he's worked only half an hour and already he's given a hundred quid to buy an engagement ring.
45:17Hmm.
45:18Hello.
45:19Is that a spot of dandruff?
45:24Who's a naughty girl, then?
45:26Oh, well.
45:28Back to the drawing board.
45:30Our little secret.
45:31Hey, Doris?
45:33Give us the hundred quid and off you go.
45:35Ah.
45:37I don't suppose you'd take a chag, would you?
45:44I left Dot and Maureen in charge of the Flying Scott with strict instructions to keep him well oiled.
45:48I was gonna need him.
45:49And sober, he was no use to me.
45:52Meantime, his fingers crossed and back on me knees for Mr. Big.
45:58I tried to talk sense into him, Mr. Griffiths, but he's just being stupid.
46:02How do you mean, stupid?
46:04Well, he says...
46:05No, I tried.
46:06Believe me, I tried.
46:07He says?
46:09He says he'll only give the money back to Mickey.
46:11That's where it came from, he says.
46:13That's who it's got to go back to.
46:15I told him.
46:16I said you're out of your mind.
46:17You can't muck about with Mr. Griffiths.
46:19He's number one.
46:22Who are you, Till?
46:24Pardon?
46:26Where is he, Burke?
46:28I don't know.
46:29He phoned.
46:30Said he'd phone again later.
46:32It's out of his mind, I tell you.
46:33He's trying to play it big.
46:35Okay.
46:36So far, d'accord.
46:38You arrange it.
46:39What?
46:39You mean, arrange a meet?
46:41Vous, tell moi the time.
46:43I'll see that St. Michael here attendee.
46:48I mean, the last thing I wanted was any aggravation.
46:51You know that, don't you, Mr. Griffiths?
46:52Course I know that, mon ami.
46:54I mean, I'll tell you straight, I ain't got the stomach for this kind of thing anymore.
46:57Dignity, son.
46:58Where's your dignity?
46:59Down the pan with his bottle.
47:04Telephone AEC.
47:04But maintenant, allez-vous-en.
47:08Piss off.
47:18015 calling all units.
47:20Target just entering garage now.
47:35The most beautiful sun.
47:56Come on, out.
47:58You've not had to interfere with a man's matrimonial aspirations, Joey.
48:02Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you keep safe.
48:56Good evening. I'm looking for my fiancé.
48:59Okay.
49:17I don't have to count it, do I?
49:19It's all there, I swear.
49:22Yeah, well, take him over to mummy.
49:23Now, keep your mouth shut.
49:27It's just a matter of you.
49:29You're the bastard that took my ingrate.
49:36Sorry.
49:51It's awful, I can't remember a thing.
49:54I must have got drunk, somebody must have got me drunk.
49:56Oh, you can feel very pleased with yourself, Mr. Galbraith.
49:59You've been of great assistance to us.
50:02It won't be in the papers, will it?
50:04Oh, no, that's the last thing we want.
50:05In fact, from now on, I shall deny your very existence.
50:11They call it oil in the wheels of justice.
50:14You'll, uh, keep me out of it too, won't you, Chucky?
50:18I'll try.
50:19Oh, well, must be off.
50:21What you do, Chucky, Mr. Galbraith here has a bit of a problem.
50:26Oh, yeah.
50:27What's that?
50:28Well, all this running around he's been doing for you seems to have lost his wallet.
50:32I told him you'd help him find it.
50:34Why can't you help it?
50:36Not my line, I'm afraid.
50:39Have a drink.
50:40And a wee chat about it.
50:42I don't drink.
50:42Neither do I, but if it's just a question of being social...
50:47Be in touch.
50:49Hey.
50:58Luggy old chock.
51:00After all, you can't beat a sociable Scotchman.
51:04Know what I mean, brother?
51:07You were born one morning
51:10Walk out where the ceiling fell
51:15Born one morning
51:17Walk out where the ceiling fell
51:22You learned everything you know
51:25In six days
51:26On the seventh day
51:27You knew it very well
51:30You trusted pretty women
51:33A pretty woman
51:34Had you tied and bound
51:37You trusted in the bottle
51:40But in the end
51:42The bottle
51:43Got you down
51:45You've tried everything that's going
51:48But leave it all to faith
51:51This time around
51:53You've been down so long
51:55It looks like her
51:59Ain't that a shame
52:01Down so long
52:03If it looks like her
52:05Ain't that a shame
52:08You know your life might change tomorrow
52:11And then again
52:13It might stay just about the same
52:18Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
52:35I doubt it
52:45I hope so
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