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مسلسل Fleishman Is in Trouble مترجم - Episode 1
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00:28Transcription by CastingWords
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01:14Transcription by CastingWords
01:15Or their underboob
01:16Or their just plain regular boob
01:19It was more than a newly divorced man could take after 15 years of marriage
01:25All this after a youth full of romantic rejection
01:28All this after placing a lifetime bet on one woman
01:32Who could have predicted this?
01:34Who could have predicted that there was such life in him yet?
01:38But these women were not objects to Toby
01:40They were his mentors
01:41No, they were his heroes
01:44They were teaching him how to live
01:46Now that he was suddenly, somehow
01:48No longer living with Rachel
01:51Each morning he would wake up with an overwhelming sense of panic
01:54In that new apartment of his
01:57Where was he?
01:58Where was she?
01:59Where was his home?
02:01Something is wrong, he'd think
02:03I am in trouble
02:04For Rachel was no longer in bed with him
02:10She was no longer in the kitchen
02:11Griping about her day
02:13I'm going to have to spend the whole day
02:14Cleaning up that mess of a lunch
02:15I don't even have time for
02:18She was no longer just coming home from the gym
02:21In a less black mood than usual
02:23It was a disaster
02:23It was a complete disaster
02:27Maybe he'll be fine
02:28I don't know
02:30Oh, I'll be home late
02:31So only that prescription picked up
02:33She was no longer applying a thick layer
02:35Of black liquid eyeliner
02:37To her upper eyelid
02:38With the precision of an arthroscopy robot
02:40The kid's ready already?
02:44But on this particular morning
02:46She was also not in the much nicer home
02:48That was just hers now
02:51A spot opened up at that yoga thing
02:52I was trying to get into
02:53Upstate Everglade
02:54So, uh, the kids are with you, FYI
02:59What?
03:06FYI, FYI
03:06I dropped the kids off a day early
03:08What the hell were you thinking?
03:09I said a spot opened up
03:10Yeah, well, they're not groceries
03:11Okay, they're not children
03:12What if I hadn't checked my phone?
03:14What if I hadn't called into the hospital
03:15In the middle of the night?
03:17Well, that didn't happen, right?
03:19Good news
03:19Well, I have plans tonight, right?
03:20I'm not supposed to have them until tomorrow
03:22It's just one night
03:23Call Mona
03:24Hey, I want to be with them when I have them, all right?
03:26I don't want to just leave them with a sitter
03:28That's you
03:30Wow
03:31I didn't think you could say anything shittier than you said last night
03:33You should have been this aggressive in your career
03:35Okay, that's very nice
03:36Very mature
03:37They went back and forth like that for a while
03:39All the while, Toby tried to remember exactly what he'd said last night that was so bad
03:46But he couldn't remember
03:47I just can't believe you would do that to the kids
03:49Like, waking them up like that
03:51I have to secure my oxygen mask, you know, before theirs
03:54Of course, your oxygen
03:55I forgot
03:56Listen, it's been a hard month
03:57I just need some me time
03:59I, I...
03:59All of your time is you time, Rachel
04:01These days, he only ever said her name at the end of sentences
04:04All right, I gotta go, okay?
04:06I'm running late now
04:06Which was just as well, because his boner was gone
04:15All right, come on, guys
04:16Let's go
04:21Oh, I'm so tired
04:23Well, I am excited, because I get you a full day early
04:26And here, I think your mother left some clothes for you here
04:29There you go
04:30These are for the Hamptons
04:31These aren't for Cam
04:32The subtext of everything Hannah said these days was
04:35You fucking idiot
04:36I wanted corn checks, not flakes
04:38You fucking idiot
04:39Okay
04:43Hannah, these corn checks are amazing
04:45You have to try them
04:48Okay
04:50All right
04:52Thank you, buddy
04:58No, we gotta go
05:04We gotta go
05:05Come on, come on
05:05Of all the ways Toby so far resented Rachel's mismanagement of that morning
05:11The biggest was an unplanned visit to that den of dread
05:14That locus of late capitalist society
05:17The 92nd Street Y
05:19Forget what you know about Ys in general
05:21This place, with its ridiculous parent population
05:25And a nursery school you had to put your kids on the waiting list for at conception
05:29Was as infected by the upper east side as anything else that came into contact with you
05:33Okay, hi, Hannah
05:35Toby, hey, fancy seeing you here
05:37Hey
05:38Where's Rachel?
05:39Working as always
05:40Yeah
05:41Agency won't run itself, I guess
05:43Hey, that's her line
05:44Rachel was a theater agent
05:46Best known as the person who discovered Alejandro Lopez
05:49The creator of Presidentrix
05:50And was so brilliant that it set the New York theater going world on fire
05:54And reinvented Broadway
05:57Presidentrix was everywhere
05:58There were parodies
06:00You're just the wife
06:01I'm just the
06:03I'm just the something
06:04All right, look, hold your paws
06:06And oh boy, was there some merch
06:09Hey, Gary
06:10Thanks
06:10Yeah
06:13She had a swear on her shirt
06:14Yeah, ignore it
06:16Okay, I'll see you later, Solly
06:17You're picking us up?
06:20Not Mona?
06:21Yeah, it's all me
06:22Toby
06:24I keep meaning to reach out to you
06:26How are you doing?
06:27How are the kids doing?
06:29Uh, well, we're okay
06:30I mean, it's a change, for sure
06:32I've been waiting to run into you
06:33To tell you myself
06:34What I hope you already know
06:35But we're not leaving your life
06:37We're not going anywhere, Toby
06:39We are your friends, too
06:41It never didn't shock him
06:42That this was who Rachel cared about
06:45As a measure of self-protection
06:47Toby thought about a physical therapist
06:49That he had slept with a few nights before
06:50He couldn't quite remember her name
06:52Jamie
06:54Jasmine
06:55Jill
06:56Had things been hard long?
06:58Um, yes, I mean, no
07:01I mean, it wasn't like a
07:02Like a spur-of-the-moment decision
07:03Or anything, if that's what you're asking
07:05But Cindy wanted information
07:07These days, everyone did
07:09Well, did you have a date night?
07:10Were you fighting at that parent-teacher conference?
07:13But you looked so happy at the spring gala
07:15Questions were never really about the Fleischmans
07:18But about the person's own marriage
07:19Do we argue too much?
07:21Were our fights too vicious?
07:23Do we have enough sex?
07:24Are we too miserable?
07:26How miserable is too miserable?
07:28Jenny!
07:29The physical therapist's name was Jenny
07:31Well, obviously the girls are still thick as thieves
07:34So you can count on us
07:36To make sure nothing changes that
07:38Sorry
07:40We're here for you
07:43Hoping we're still on for tonight
07:44Sorry, this is work
07:46I have a biopsy
07:48You're still at the hospital
07:49Well, you know, people are still getting sick
07:51So supply and demand
07:52Yeah
07:53Anyway, it's great to see you
07:54Really, really, really
07:55We've got to do dinner sometime with the kids
07:57Because we had so much fun last time
07:59But had they?
08:00It's 40 years old
08:01It's made by these Roman monks
08:03They only make eight cases a year
08:04Mmm
08:04I taste that
08:06I want in
08:07I have a hookup
08:08Can't say who
08:09Come on
08:10It was the same crowd every time
08:12Rachel's schoolmom friends
08:14Whose husbands were a chronic condition
08:16That Toby had to manage
08:17There was Todd Leffer
08:18Who was a portfolio manager
08:20At a distressed debt fund
08:21And who didn't not have a photo of himself
08:23Next to a dead giraffe
08:25And a live Trump son
08:26There was Rich Hertz
08:27Whose name was literally rich
08:29And whose father had made his fortune in the 80s
08:32By buying up life insurance policies
08:34On people who had AIDS
08:36And then there was the alpha homecoming king
08:39Sam Rothberg
08:40A vice president at a pharmaceutical company
08:43Who rose to prominence
08:44Pushing Vicodin on every housewife in the country
08:46Except for his own wife
08:48Who was already besotted with Xanax
08:50So, um
08:52How's the liver business, my man?
08:54Well, you know, people still get sick, so
08:55You know, let me ask you something, Toby
08:57If your kids said that they wanted to get into medicine
09:01What would you say?
09:07No, no, no
09:08You don't get it, okay?
09:09It was an insult
09:09He was insulting me, all right?
09:11This is a guy who made his money
09:12By buying up underwater mortgages
09:14In states with expedited eviction laws
09:15So they could kick out the tenants
09:16And go condo
09:17And he thinks he could ask me
09:18If I would ever lead my poor children
09:20Into my shameful life
09:23Well, what do you?
09:27Mrs. Fields, hi
09:28This is Dr. Fleischman
09:29Is now a good time?
09:30By the time he was done with his residency
09:32Medicine had undergone such upheaval
09:34That suddenly even being a specialist
09:36At a top hospital in Manhattan
09:38Wouldn't earn enough to offer Rachel
09:40The lifestyle to which she so badly
09:42Wanted to become accustomed
09:47She never understood that his job
09:49Was its own reward and its own comfort
09:51Particularly in those first delicate weeks
09:54Following his divorce
09:56And Clay, what is the most common
09:58In vascular mass?
10:00Uh, hepatocellular carcinoma
10:02That would be correct
10:02If a hepatocellular carcinoma
10:04Were either vascular
10:05Or the most common anything
10:06It's a mangioma
10:11I'm sorry, Clay
10:12I, I, um
10:15Listen, guys
10:15I don't know if this is, like
10:16An appropriate thing
10:17But I'm gonna say it anyway
10:19I'm getting a divorce
10:21Uh, I don't mean to be an asshole
10:23And if I am, forgive me
10:24Are you okay?
10:25Yeah, I'm, I'm okay
10:26So, uh, what are you doing now?
10:28Uh, we saw a psychologist
10:29To figure out how to make sure
10:31The kids are okay with everything
10:32I, I moved into a new place recently
10:35Great, but are you, are you on the apps yet?
10:39What?
10:41Okay, this is gonna be fun
10:42I had a J-Date account
10:44And people had, do people have J-Date account?
10:46This is totally different
10:47It's not that different
10:48It's still scary
10:49Will you still do it?
10:51Yes, I do
10:54Okay, so, there's a couple
10:56Yeah, okay, and what is this?
10:58Sorry, what am I looking at?
10:58So, that's her lighthouse
11:02Her lighthouse?
11:02Mm-hmm, you know, uh
11:03It's to indicate a person's readiness
11:07Her, her readiness
11:08Like if she's available
11:10Okay
11:11And horny
11:12Okay, wait, sorry
11:13You do this too?
11:14You see what I mean?
11:14Okay, thank you
11:15I'm gonna, we'll table this
11:16Uh, we have patients to get to
11:18But, right
11:19Those lives will not save themselves, right?
11:20Give me to the OR stand
11:21I mean, you are playing God
11:23Uh, no one's dying tonight
11:24Not on my watch
11:27He watched the apps passively
11:29For a week or two
11:30Not engaging at all
11:32Until one weekend
11:35Rachel had taken the kids out
11:37To the Hamptons
11:37It was his first ever weekend
11:39Without them
11:39And he missed them so much
11:41He thought he might die
12:03The app asked him
12:05What is your fave movie?
12:07The Graduate
12:08It was Twister
12:10The app asked him
12:11How do you like to spend
12:12A rainy Saturday?
12:13Doing a crossword puzzle
12:14Watching porn
12:15And masturbating
12:16Fave food?
12:18Caesar salad
12:19With shrimp
12:20It was steamed chicken
12:22And vegetables
12:22No sauce
12:23No oil
12:23What is your sun, moon
12:25And ascendant?
12:26What is an ascendant?
12:29Maybe he'd tried
12:30To pump himself up
12:31In some answers
12:31But he'd been honest
12:32About the important stuff
12:34And then it asked
12:35How single are you?
12:37I'm divorced
12:39That was true
12:41The app needed a pick
12:54The app needed a pick
13:19Hey, you.
13:20Hi.
13:21Hi.
13:22How are you?
13:23Tomoji.
13:23You're cute.
13:24You're a doctor.
13:25Good for you.
13:25Vampire emoji.
13:26Where do you live?
13:27Where do you live?
13:27I live in Brooklyn.
13:28I have a place in Queens.
13:29Like a doctor in the hospital or a doctor of English?
13:32I have a place in Queens.
13:32Remind me where the liver is.
13:33If you're an asshole.
13:34Please know I've been down that road before.
13:36No, thank you.
13:36I grew up in LA too.
13:38Well, friends, you lost a full Saturday right there.
13:41Yeah, hello.
13:41I'm so into the social work and I miss it all the time.
13:43I may have had too much to drink.
13:45Fingers crossed emoji.
13:46And then the whole weekend.
13:47I'm in with a glass of blood.
13:48I'm into older guys.
13:49You just mind me of some.
13:51Grandpa emoji.
13:52You're hot.
13:53Angry with possible smoke coming from sides of the mouth emoji.
13:55You have to understand that Toby was not exactly a desired property in his youth.
14:00You're so handsome.
14:01Where have you been all my life?
14:03Possible samba and evening gown emoji.
14:05Glass of milk emoji.
14:06Enough about me.
14:07What about you?
14:08My dad was a doctor too.
14:09Purple devil emoji.
14:10I used to sing jazz.
14:11By late Sunday, his cheeks hurt from expressing joy and wonder.
14:15His wrist and hand were sore from repetitive stress.
14:18So am I going to get to see that cute face soon?
14:20But then, he suddenly realized.
14:24This was real.
14:26Very little on earth stands still.
14:28That forward momentum is always available to pluck you from your sadness
14:31and invite you to rejoin the living.
14:45So, am I seeing you, question mark, question mark?
14:49Don't leave me hanging, cutie.
14:51Don't leave me.
14:51Don't leave me.
14:51Yes.
14:52Looking forward to it.
14:55Oh, shit.
14:56Yeah, Joni.
14:57Hi.
14:59Yeah, I am on my way up.
15:01Look at that.
15:03Look at that.
15:04It's good as new.
15:05Hmm.
15:05No scarring.
15:06It's like nothing ever happened.
15:09Huh.
15:11You have to love the liver.
15:13I mean, seriously, show me a more life-affirming organ.
15:16I mean, look at it.
15:17Look what it can recover from.
15:19We should all be more like the liver.
15:20Livers behave in some erratic ways.
15:22I mean, all the organs do.
15:23But the liver is unique in the way that it heals.
15:24It's full of forgiveness.
15:26You know, it understands that you need a few chances before you get your life right.
15:30And it doesn't just forgive you.
15:31You know, it practically forgets.
15:37On the darkest days of his marriage, Toby attended to his hospital business.
15:41And out of the corner of his eyes was always the liver, whispering to him that one day there
15:46would not be much sign of all of this damage, that he would regenerate too.
15:50Toby, we have a new patient up from the ER.
15:53Oh, that's great.
15:55Yeah, let's go.
15:56I'm a liver specialist.
15:57I was called in because your wife is jaundiced.
15:59Right.
16:00Okay.
16:01Do you, uh, you want to tell us what happened?
16:03She was slurring, uh, a little and not making sense.
16:07She was clumsier than usual.
16:09Um, finally I said we should go to see a doctor.
16:11And then we got in the car and on the way she, uh, she passed out.
16:15Maybe she's asleep?
16:16Uh, well, well, we're gonna figure that out.
16:18She's in good hands now.
16:19Nurse Ortiz is gonna show you to our family lounge.
16:21And we are going to examine your wife and figure out what's going on here.
16:29So, what's going on here?
16:31Yeah, that's alcoholic cirrhosis.
16:33She went on a bender.
16:34Probably been a secret drinker for years.
16:37Okay, you seem pretty sure about that.
16:39Joanie?
16:40He said she was slurring.
16:42Okay.
16:43Uh, what did he actually say?
16:45Uh, he said she was clumsy and slurring.
16:47She was a drunk.
16:48Phillip, I'm sorry?
16:50Alcoholic.
16:51A person with alcoholism.
16:53An alcoholic American.
16:55Yeah, okay.
16:56Listen, the husband, he said that she was clumsier than usual.
16:59So, whatever this is, it's been going on longer than just the last week.
17:02Uh, what else?
17:04Uh, is she on an antidepressant?
17:06She's on Zoloft as of a month ago.
17:09How'd you know that?
17:10Get her internist on the phone.
17:12Okay.
17:13But you saw her a month ago and you prescribed Zoloft.
17:15Well, she said she was feeling down.
17:17Her AST, ALT wasn't elevated?
17:18I didn't check LFT.
17:19You didn't check?
17:20Okay, well, she has an AST of 145 and an ALT of 103 and a Billy of 14.
17:24She is in encephalopathic and coagulopathic.
17:27Her total cholesterol is 98.
17:28She's in liver failure.
17:29She's as yellow as a highlighter.
17:30Listen, my whole practice is these women in their 40s who suddenly become depressed
17:34and start drinking more than they should at lunch.
17:36Really?
17:36Okay, well, good for you.
17:37I gotta go treat your patient now.
17:39Sorry, you shouldn't do that.
17:41All right, here's the thing.
17:41This woman's doctor could have helped her if he'd actually taken her seriously.
17:44You know, she wouldn't be having neurological symptoms
17:46and she probably wouldn't have a failing liver.
17:48Guys, insurance is not going to pay for more than 15 minutes.
17:51You still have to listen, okay?
17:53You have to take that time as a loss.
17:55You have to ask questions and give a shit.
17:58All right.
18:01What did our friend Dr. Osler say?
18:03You remember?
18:04Listen to the patient.
18:05She is telling you her diagnosis.
18:07Okay, so go ahead.
18:08Look harder.
18:18Oh, my God.
18:20The patient has a ring of copper around her iris.
18:23It's Wilson's.
18:24Yeah.
18:25Yeah, I've only seen it once before.
18:28Did you see that?
18:30God, it's...
18:32It's so beautiful.
18:33Yeah.
18:34As life-threatening diseases go,
18:37it is a pretty one.
18:39It means her body doesn't process copper,
18:41so usually it presents as what you called clumsiness,
18:44and then all it takes is one big night of drinking
18:46for something like this to happen.
18:47She went to Vegas with friends last weekend
18:50for, like, a bachelorette thing.
18:51Okay, so that's actually really good to know,
18:53and Dr. Clifton here will take a more detailed history, okay?
18:57And what do I do?
18:58Well, you call your job and tell them you need a few days off,
19:00and then you call your family and friends
19:01and tell them what's going on
19:02so they can help with your kids.
19:03Now, we will tell you when we know something, all right?
19:06All right, take care.
19:08Thanks.
19:09Yeah.
19:15So never...
19:15I'm a middle-aged housewife now.
19:18I've been domesticated.
19:19You're a legend.
19:20Not...
19:20Not pot...
19:21Not even cigarettes?
19:22Cigarettes?
19:23Are you crazy?
19:24What would the other mothers even say about me?
19:27I'd be a pariah.
19:27Do you realize that the only thing
19:29our Libby here ever inhales into her lungs anymore
19:31is the New Jersey pollution?
19:32Yes, she grew up.
19:33As a doctor, I endorse this.
19:34I knew this guy who lived literally beneath a cave.
19:37Not in it, beneath it in Argentina,
19:39and he grew this one strain of pot
19:41that he combined with this extract.
19:43So you're high, but you don't know you're high.
19:46Sorry, what does that even mean?
19:47I think I want to know if I'm high.
19:49Am I high right now?
19:50Am I high right now?
19:51No, I'd be hungrier if I were high.
19:53You're hungry?
19:54No tail sign.
19:55You ready?
19:55Wait a minute, I am hungry.
19:57Tuna sandwich, please.
19:58Yeah, thanks.
19:59Wait, yeah, excuse me.
20:00Sorry, I don't know if you realize this,
20:01but the American Medical Association
20:02now recommends eating tuna fish
20:03like once a month, if that.
20:05Got it.
20:05Well, those people are animals.
20:06So a tuna sandwich would be amazing.
20:09I'm going to have the lumberjack,
20:10and can I have a grilled cheese on the side?
20:13Wow, child.
20:15I will have the spinach and egg white omelet,
20:18no butter and very little oil.
20:20French fries are home for us.
20:23No, no, neither.
20:24And no bread, please.
20:26I'll have it.
20:27Okay?
20:29The three of us had been getting together regularly
20:31for the first time in years,
20:33ever since Toby called to tell us
20:35that he was getting a divorce.
20:36So it's crazy because when you're in space,
20:38no matter where you are,
20:39you feel like you're in the center.
20:43Have you considered that maybe
20:46you shouldn't have been a lawyer?
20:48Only every day.
20:50How was your day?
20:52Fine.
20:53It's nothing.
21:04Toby Fleischman?
21:05Elizabeth Slater.
21:06Toby Fleischman.
21:07God.
21:08It's Epstein now, but...
21:10Yeah, hi.
21:12Hi?
21:13Hello.
21:14I am calling to tell you
21:15that I am getting a divorce.
21:16I am doing this on the advice of a therapist
21:18who thinks it would be healing for me
21:20to reach out to the people
21:21who I haven't seen
21:22since my marriage was falling apart.
21:23I was stunned.
21:25I'm stunned.
21:26I just moved out.
21:27I have the kids every other weekend
21:29and on weekdays when she's working late.
21:32It was hard for a long time.
21:34We actually went to a couples therapist
21:35who said that we have three of the four horsemen
21:38of the marital apocalypse.
21:39Whoa, what are those?
21:41Contempt, I think, was the first one.
21:43Defensiveness and shutting down.
21:45You know what?
21:46I can't even remember the fourth one.
21:47Was it being a total fucking bitch?
21:50Whoa.
21:51Elizabeth, uh, maybe.
21:53I hated her.
21:54I mean, I...
21:56Can I...
21:57Can I say that?
21:58I know I just said that,
22:00but, like, can I say that?
22:01Yeah, I know.
22:03I know.
22:03It's been a while, Elizabeth.
22:05What, like, 10 years or 12?
22:07It's been since you didn't bother
22:09showing up to my wedding,
22:10so 12 years.
22:12I'm so sorry.
22:13It was so hard.
22:15Yeah, I mean, you should have called me, you know?
22:18It was a nightmare.
22:20We would fight in public.
22:22I'm so sorry.
22:24I couldn't.
22:26You still should have called me.
22:30We made arrangements to see each other immediately,
22:33and I took a brief shore leave
22:34for my life as a housewife in New Jersey
22:36to come into the big city.
22:39Hi.
22:40Hi.
22:41Hello.
22:42Hi.
22:43Okay, come on.
22:44Yeah, let's hug, let's hug.
22:46Should we get something to eat?
22:47Uh, no, no, I'm good.
22:48I ate on Tuesday.
22:49Ah.
22:51Are you doing okay?
22:53Yes, I am okay.
22:54Okay.
22:55I don't know.
22:56I worry about the kids.
22:58I hate weekends when I don't have them.
23:01I freak out when I wake up in my new apartment,
23:03which, by the way,
23:04is like a hovel compared to the palace
23:05I just moved out of.
23:06Sure.
23:07Seriously.
23:09But I think I'm past the hard part,
23:12and, um, yeah,
23:13I think I'm, like,
23:14actually up to the interesting part.
23:19Look at this.
23:21What is that?
23:22It's like a bevy of interested sexual partners
23:27that comprises the underlayer of this city, apparently.
23:30I don't know.
23:30It might have been here forever.
23:31Don't be Fleishberg.
23:34Hot damn.
23:35Can you imagine all those years
23:36I couldn't even get return eye contact?
23:38I cannot believe that this is where life has deposited you.
23:42Listen, I know it feels like we haven't been in touch,
23:44but I get the magazine,
23:46and I look, like, every month for your name,
23:49and I read the stories,
23:50and, Liv, it is like your voice in my ears.
23:54I'm proud of you, you know?
23:56Yeah, I'm not at the magazine anymore.
24:00I'm not anywhere anymore.
24:02This is...
24:03Yeah.
24:05A friend Seth had fewer questions.
24:07Dude, the world is your oyster now.
24:10Lick it off.
24:10I'm trying, you know.
24:12Hey, I have a great idea.
24:13Yeah?
24:13Go to your apartment, put on shorts.
24:15Why?
24:15We're gonna go to yoga.
24:16It's Saturday night.
24:17It's Saturday afternoon.
24:19Trust me.
24:20What?
24:20I can't.
24:21I just had a drink.
24:21The place I go to is owned by a guy
24:23who trained under Bikram.
24:24He started a splinter group
24:25that nearly brought the Indian political system
24:27to its knees.
24:28Really?
24:29Yes.
24:29Do you know who goes to yoga?
24:33Girls.
24:34Yeah.
24:35Go to yoga is shorthand
24:36for showing a woman how evolved you are
24:37and how not set you are
24:38in maintaining the patriarchy
24:40she so loathes and fears.
24:41No, I can't.
24:42I gotta get home to the kids,
24:43and aren't you dating someone anyway?
24:44I'm doing this for you, not me.
24:46Oh.
24:46How high is your closing rate?
24:48It's like 60%.
24:49It's 30%.
24:50I don't know.
24:50I can't keep track of it.
24:50You should be at 100%.
24:52You should only be closing right now.
24:54You are prime time now.
24:55You're golden.
24:56Are you being too picky?
24:57No, I put my penis in a he-donkey right now.
24:59I'm so picky I'm being.
25:01So what's the problem?
25:02The problem?
25:03I don't know.
25:03I'm getting out of a 15-year marriage
25:04to a woman who wouldn't let me pee standing up.
25:06I have some healing to do.
25:12I really missed you, man.
25:16You put those shorts on.
25:19Then Toby invited us to his new place
25:21when his kids were with Rachel one weekend.
25:23The three of us together for the first time in 15 years.
25:26You didn't want to move downtown?
25:27You know, my kids are up here,
25:28and I work across the park,
25:30so I'm kind of like a prisoner of the Upper East Side
25:32until the Hague mandates that I can leave.
25:34You need new shades.
25:36Yes, I know.
25:36I also need a new toaster.
25:37You know who has a good toaster?
25:38Rachel.
25:38Well, I pronounce this place completely delightful.
25:41I love this apartment.
25:43It reminds me of the first place Adam and I had together.
25:46Yeah?
25:47Mm-hmm.
25:48It reminds me of our dorm room in Israel.
25:50Very mean.
25:51I mean, I love it.
25:52I mean, I hated the place that Rachel put us in.
25:54It had these high ceilings,
25:55and they made the doormen dress like they were in the military.
26:00Divorce is like that old Othello game, you know?
26:02You start your marriage with all the discs white, right?
26:05And then there's some black discs here and there along the way.
26:07You know, you fight, but ultimately, you laugh,
26:09and it's fine because the board is still mostly white, right?
26:12But then something happens, and the marriage falls apart,
26:15and suddenly the entire board is black.
26:18Is that how you play Othello?
26:19They should probably change the name Othello, you know?
26:22Yeah, so now even the good memories are, like, tinged with darkness.
26:25You know, they're tainted, like they were rotten from the start.
26:28Not all of them.
26:29Yes, man, all of them, okay?
26:30Now you look back at all those memories,
26:32like the fight you had on the honeymoon,
26:34the way you couldn't agree on, like, a name for your child,
26:35and suddenly they're no longer innocuous fights anymore.
26:38Now they're foreshadowing.
26:39I think when we get married, we really have no way to fully understand
26:42what forever means, you know?
26:45That's what I'm always saying.
26:47Marriage is for suckers.
26:49How are you going to know, how are you going to feel
26:51in three times the amount of years you've been alive for?
26:53You were how old when you got married?
26:5526.
26:5630.
26:5730? I mean, has your brain even stopped growing at 30?
26:59Does your brain grow?
27:00Seriously, I was ridiculous in my 20s.
27:03Who would I have married?
27:03What kind of decision or choice would I have made?
27:06You grow up, you change.
27:08It's like the show Friends.
27:09I used to like Friends when it first came out.
27:11Now I hear that opening music.
27:13It makes me want to kill myself.
27:14You definitely should not watch Friends.
27:16What I'm saying is I keep seeing people outgrow the people
27:19that they were with, and now all the guys at work,
27:21my work, are these, like, miserable, desperate creatures
27:26who get way too wasted at other people's bachelor parties
27:29because they're dreading going home.
27:30But you know what?
27:31I was at their weddings.
27:32I saw them.
27:33They were in love.
27:35They were happy that day.
27:36You and Rachel were happy that day.
27:38Yeah, we were.
27:38Yeah, you really were.
27:39So how could an intelligent observer of this
27:42ever decide to choose it?
27:43Hmm.
27:45Are you still going to therapy?
27:47No.
27:47The apps are like my therapy.
27:48It's like group therapy, except at the end of the session
27:50you get to put your penis in the therapist's mouth.
27:53My therapist does that.
27:55So we met, and we laughed.
27:57And in our laughter, I heard something dangerous,
28:00which was the sound of our youth.
28:03Which landed us here, on the day that Rachel dropped the kids off
28:07at Toby's apartment a full day earlier than expected.
28:10She just does whatever the hell she wants.
28:11Like, seriously, I shouldn't have even been surprised
28:13to see our kids, like, sleep-marched over to the apartment
28:15at four in the morning.
28:16Four in the morning.
28:17Sorry, I'm angry all over again.
28:18I don't know, I thought she would at least be a good, like,
28:20divorce partner.
28:21Why would you ever think that?
28:22She was a terrible wife.
28:24No, I know.
28:24I thought we had some kind of, like, gentleman's agreement
28:26where we'd put each other through enough, thank you,
28:28and, you know, we could at least be normal to each other.
28:29No.
28:30Thanks.
28:30You know, but what I remember is that I'm normal,
28:32and she's crazy, and that's why this could never work out.
28:35Oh, sorry.
28:36You know, actually, I had a date tonight.
28:37Let me see.
28:39Okay.
28:39Here we go.
28:41All right.
28:42What do you think of her?
28:43Oh, nice.
28:45How old is she?
28:46Let me see.
28:46Uh, I don't know.
28:47She said she's 39.
28:48No.
28:48She is not 39.
28:49A weird fact about dating is no one is actually 39 or 29.
28:53There's 40 or 30.
28:54They shouldn't even, like, use those ages
28:56because they don't even exist.
28:57Uh, how did it go with the zoologist?
28:59It was actually really freaky.
29:01She wanted me to choke her.
29:01What?
29:02Oh, yeah, yeah.
29:03That happens all the time.
29:04Women have been let loose.
29:06They are emancipated.
29:07That is the opposite of emancipation.
29:10They're just doing that because they saw it in porn.
29:11What did you do?
29:12I told her I couldn't do it.
29:13I told her I took an oath.
29:14I mean, I'm serious.
29:15A person could die like that.
29:16I told her that.
29:18What does your oath say about her being a naughty girl
29:21who needs some very light spanking?
29:23Come on.
29:24Come on.
29:25No, no, no.
29:27What were we talking about?
29:28Ages.
29:29Oh, yeah, right.
29:30When I was on the apps, you know,
29:31I'd put my search interest from 21 to 28.
29:34That way, the oldest woman I would get is 35.
29:36That's how you beat the system.
29:37Stop it.
29:38Drupal, I don't really like the younger women.
29:40You don't?
29:40No.
29:41I mean, hey, come on.
29:42You know, we're not that old, you know?
29:43I don't think women our age are old.
29:44I just think the younger ones hate us last year.
29:46Have you thought that all the way through?
29:49Am I wrong?
29:51I don't know.
29:52I'm just, you know, it makes a girl start to wonder
29:55how she might deal on the produce market.
29:58Oh, you don't have to worry about it.
29:59You're married.
30:00He was married.
30:01I actually did go out on a couple dates
30:03with a 25-year-old until I changed my search parameters
30:05to 39 to 47.
30:06You know, because I'm not going to marry these women
30:07and if they want to have kids,
30:09I don't want to waste their time.
30:10But also, you know, also, I can't be with someone right now
30:14who doesn't understand the nature of consequences.
30:16You know, how the world will have its way with you
30:18despite your careful planning and good behavior.
30:20Yikes, dude.
30:21I know, I'm sorry.
30:22I'm just so angry at Rachel right now,
30:23who is old enough to understand the nature of consequences.
30:25And yet, and yet...
30:28Uh...
30:30May the townsfolk know of her promiscuity
30:34and start her in the square.
30:37No, that is not nice.
30:38May the next man who visits her undercarriage
30:42have a big sneeze...
30:44Oh, no, please, please, please, no.
30:45...and the sneeze travels up her vagina
30:48and causes an embolism.
30:49That's not a embolism.
30:50I'm pretty sure that's how embolism works.
30:53Thank you for taking my side.
30:54Anytime.
30:57Okay, I should go.
30:58I should go.
30:58You guys can split that.
31:00Yeah.
31:00Thank you so much.
31:02All right.
31:03Love you.
31:04Okay.
31:04Bye.
31:05Bye-bye.
31:06Bye-bye.
31:10Hey!
31:11Was today good?
31:12Hmm.
31:13Hello to you.
31:14There's a STEM contest to the Y.
31:15Mm-hmm.
31:16Can we enter it?
31:17If you win, you're gonna be in a science fair in September.
31:19Yeah, I think we can arrange that.
31:21I have what Mom calls the competitive edge
31:23because I have a science dad.
31:24Okay, okay.
31:25Oh, here comes the bus.
31:26Hey, what's going on?
31:28I'm not going on the bus.
31:30Hannah, come on.
31:31No.
31:32You're so embarrassing.
31:35Okay, this is nonsense.
31:36Hannah, come with us right now or you're not going to Lexi's tomorrow.
31:38Can we just take a cab?
31:51Look, you have to be able to like live among people without wanting or needing to be like
31:54them.
31:55All right?
31:55You have to know our values.
31:56I'm not wanting to be seen on a bus.
31:58That's not a good value, Hannah.
31:59I'm not wanting to take a bus.
32:00It's not a good value for like a million reasons.
32:03Hey, Dad?
32:04Yeah?
32:05Can I get golf lessons?
32:07You want golf?
32:08Yeah.
32:09Yeah, sure.
32:10I'll look into it, buddy.
32:13For the 10th time that day, Toby was forced to ask the question that occurred to him nearly
32:18every few minutes since his separation.
32:20How did I get here?
32:21How did I become a divorced guy?
32:23How could my kids be so much like these people when they also so resembled me?
32:28How did he get here?
32:30Hey, Dad?
32:31Yes?
32:32I think I found our project.
32:33Can we do quantum superposition?
32:36Ah, it's like Schrodinger's cat.
32:37Yeah, maybe.
32:38I just don't want to be killing any living things.
32:40Do you?
32:40There's no way to do it without a dead cat?
32:42No, no.
32:42Listen, we'll figure something out, okay?
32:43Hey, Dad?
32:44Yeah?
32:44Can we get a dog?
32:45Oh, God.
32:46You serious?
32:47I don't know.
32:47Check with your mother.
32:48I gotta get changed.
32:50Where are you going?
32:51He's going on a date.
32:52Thank you, Hannah.
32:53What?
32:53Don't you want to open our project, though?
32:55Yeah, I do.
32:55You know how, like, you have play dates with your friends?
32:57Adults have those, too.
32:59And it's healthy.
33:00It's, like, normal.
33:01Yeah.
33:02Mona!
33:02Mona!
33:03Thank you so much for coming.
33:05Hi.
33:05I really do appreciate it.
33:08Hi, Mona.
33:09Hey, baby.
33:10Nice to see you.
33:11Oh, Mona, you're a lifesaver.
33:13Halloween?
33:14You can have a costume brought the other day other than Halloween.
33:17Yes, I should be, Mona.
33:19Oh, that could be alright.
33:20Whoa!
33:21Hey, is this really the best thing to watch right now?
33:23No.
33:23You ruin everything.
33:26Okay.
33:28He had emerged that summer like a newborn baby seal with his eyes clamped shut.
33:33But now, they were open.
33:35And he was a student again.
33:37And in this short time, he had learned a million new things.
33:40Among them was the fact that if you skew your vision just right, you could see the world
33:45as his dating app presented it.
33:47With New York as a city full of people with only one imperative.
33:51To fuck or lick or suck or finger or apply hot breath to a warm body with a compatible schedule.
33:59As he tried to get his bearings these last few months, he enjoyed the simplicity of that.
34:15And he learned that he wasn't alone in his search for someone to talk to or kiss and ignite,
34:21even if it was just for a night.
34:23He was meeting a woman named Tess that he'd been exchanging dirty messages with for a week.
34:28He tried to remember what she looked like, but she'd sent too many pictures of body parts
34:33in the meantime, and he realized he'd lost the plot on her face.
34:36Bicep emoji shrug with what are you gonna do, arms emoji.
34:40Hi.
34:41Hi.
34:48He turned 50 and got depressed, so I set him on a survival skills weekend with a famous life coach.
34:55It cost $10,000 for a weekend.
34:58Oh my god.
34:59She's a Sharma now.
35:00I would hope so.
35:01Well, he comes back and says he wants to start having threesomes.
35:05I'm surprised, but I also think, look at this beautiful life he's given me, so I say,
35:10sure, we'll need some rules, but why not?
35:14I'm not dead yet.
35:15Well, that is very generous of you.
35:17Well, turns out he wants to have threesomes with other women.
35:21Two other women.
35:22None of them me.
35:23No, no, that is insane.
35:25Wait, so the life coach told him to do this?
35:27He told him to live his truth, or whatever.
35:29His truth?
35:31I swear, you think you know someone, and then they go and do something you could not have
35:34predicted in your wildest dreams.
35:36Boy, is that the truth?
35:38That's my truth.
35:40So, um, how did you guys meet?
35:43You know, it's funny.
35:44In a threesome.
35:48But what Toby really learned before Summer was that he was wanted again.
35:51Toby!
35:52Oh!
35:53Oh, yeah!
35:54Oh!
35:55He was wanted on top.
35:59He was wanted on bottom.
36:02Get down!
36:03They wanted him on all fours, which was new for him.
36:06Yes, ma'am.
36:10Ow!
36:11They wanted him to go slower.
36:15They wanted him to go faster.
36:17They wanted to know if he was gonna come hard.
36:20They wanted him to come to mama.
36:23They wanted to call him daddy.
36:24Oh!
36:24Oh!
36:27Oh!
36:28Oh!
36:34Oh!
36:35Oh!
36:36Oh!
36:38Oh!
36:39Oh!
36:40He was madly in love with each of them.
36:44On these nights, he didn't wonder why this had happened to him.
36:47Albert!
36:48My man.
36:49On these nights, he was grateful life was long.
36:52He got to experience all of these new things.
36:55He had been so lost, and each night, he became just a little more found.
37:00He got the way to prove their children.
37:04He got the way to prove their children.
37:10I know.
37:11We can do relativity.
37:13Yeah.
37:14Yeah, it's actually not a bad idea.
37:16Oh!
37:17That might be for me.
37:19Good morning, Doctor.
37:22Who...
37:23Who's...
37:23Who's Tess?
37:25Tess...
37:25Oh, she's a resident.
37:26She's a fellow.
37:27She's a...
37:27Um, she's a new patient.
37:28She's a good patient.
37:30That was fun last night.
37:31I just bought a piece of filthy lingerie that I think he'll enjoy removing.
37:34Cat with heart eyes emoji, poison skull emoji, robot arm emoji.
37:37In front of the corner!
37:38Yeah, I'll be right there.
37:39How's tomorrow night?
37:40Dad!
37:40My kids will be here.
37:41Your place?
37:42Cute pieces are connected!
37:43I got it, buddy.
37:43Thumbs up emoji.
37:44Say, six o'clock?
37:46See if I can find another one?
37:47Yeah, just hold on to it, kiddo.
37:48866 East 91st Street.
37:50Anytime after five.
37:51Laughing and crying emoji.
37:54What if I need to call you?
37:55I'm sure the Leffers have a landline, or you could use Cindy's phone.
37:57Also, you've never called me from a sleepover, ever.
37:59Can't you just get me a phone?
38:01I will get you a phone on your 12th birthday.
38:03That's in four months.
38:04Well, then you get to be my baby for four more months.
38:06Ugh.
38:09On their way to the sleepover at the Leffers, Toby felt the same anxiety he always felt
38:13leaving his daughter on the front lines of a social war zone.
38:16But he was momentarily distracted as they passed a brownstone doorway that he'd ended up getting
38:20a hand job in a week ago from a writer he'd been out with.
38:24Is it too late to switch my bat mitzvah venue?
38:27Oh, um, you know, I think we already printed up the invitations and there's a deposit.
38:31I still don't have a dress.
38:33Hey, it's not till November.
38:34And you know you're half Torah.
38:35That's the most important thing.
38:36Sure, Dad.
38:51Fleishmans, hello!
38:52Hi, Mrs. Leffers.
38:53Hi, honey.
38:54Lexi!
38:56Hannah, you have to see this.
38:58Hello, Dr. Fleishman.
38:59Hi, Lexi.
39:00Hey, Hannah, if you need me, you just...
39:02Honey, just...
39:02Yeah, okay.
39:04So, big plans for you boys tonight?
39:06We're going to bookshop.
39:07Nice.
39:09How's the good doctor?
39:10Oh, Toby, we were gonna have you and the kids to the club next weekend, but Todd says
39:15you don't play tennis or golf?
39:17Yeah, I play basketball.
39:18No kidding.
39:20Fuck you, Todd.
39:22Good for you.
39:23You ever get an outdoor hand job, Todd?
39:25Well, okay.
39:26I think Rachel will be picking up the girls tomorrow to take them to the show at about 4.
39:29You're just the wife.
39:32Curtain's at 7 and Rachel has reservations at Joe Allen.
39:35Isn't she the nicest?
39:36Well, you call Hannah if you need anything, okay?
39:38Actually, she doesn't have a phone yet.
39:40Toby.
39:41Yeah?
39:41Get that girl a phone.
39:43You boys have a good night, okay?
39:46Bye, guys.
39:47Bye, Sally.
39:52Leffers expecting you at 4 for Joe Allen and Cho.
39:57Hey, what do you got?
39:58Let's see.
39:594,000 facts about the universe.
40:00This is good.
40:01And this for relative...
40:02No, this one's more for grown-ups.
40:04They don't have so many relativity books for kids.
40:07Well, yeah.
40:08That makes sense.
40:09Okay, go with those.
40:12All right.
40:13Let's do it.
40:14All right.
40:14Is that gonna be it for you?
40:16Yeah.
40:17You've reached Rachel Fleischman.
40:19If this is urgent, you can call my assistant, Simone, at...
40:30So the same thing happens at the same time.
40:32Mm-hmm.
40:34But if someone else observes it at a different angle...
40:36Yeah, yeah.
40:36It means it's also true, though.
40:38Here.
40:39You know what?
40:40Put out your thumb like this.
40:42Yeah, good.
40:43Now, uh...
40:44Now close your right eye.
40:46Yeah, good.
40:46Now close your left.
40:48It's weird, right?
40:50It's like a different perspective, but they're both reality.
40:54Suddenly, it occurred to Toby that he hadn't heard a thing from Rachel since their phone
40:58conversation on Friday morning.
41:00Question mark.
41:01Question mark.
41:06Where are you, Rachel?
41:08It's Sunday.
41:11I am so sick of this shit.
41:17Hey, Toby.
41:18It's 4.30.
41:20And I haven't heard from Rachel.
41:21And Todd and I have to head out for a golf tournament.
41:23We gotta go.
41:24Come on.
41:24We gotta go.
41:29Look, your dad's here now.
41:31Hey.
41:32Where's Mom?
41:33Yeah, Mom's running late.
41:34I think her yoga retreat ran over.
41:35I don't know.
41:35Maybe they...
41:36Hi.
41:36Yeah, maybe they all fell asleep.
41:38That's not funny.
41:39Yeah.
41:39I don't know.
41:40Listen, she would not miss this.
41:41It's her work.
41:42Why don't you girls come back to my place and she can pick you up from there?
41:44No, no.
41:45I am not taking Lexi to your apartment.
41:48Hey, how about you're not going anywhere if you keep this up?
41:53Oh, God.
41:58It was right then that Toby started to wonder whether it was weird that he hadn't heard
42:01from her since their conversation on Friday morning.
42:04No dismissive eye rolling, no middle finger emoji, no three dots.
42:10She wouldn't just blow him off.
42:12She wouldn't reserve seats for a show that she helped put up and leave the box office hanging.
42:17She wouldn't even let the maitre d' at Joe Allen down.
42:19Toby, yes.
42:21The Joe Allen maitre d', no.
42:23What?
42:25Hi.
42:27This is where your dad lives?
42:29Oh, it's just temporary.
42:31It's not temporary.
42:31I can't really talk right now.
42:33Okay.
42:34Okay, bye.
42:44Hi.
42:46How was your day in the actual world?
42:49You didn't miss anything.
42:51The real world is highly overrated.
42:54How was everything here in paradise, huh?
42:56Lately, I couldn't stop thinking about Toby.
42:58On his dates.
42:59Coming home alone.
43:00Coming home with someone.
43:02I didn't have a thing for him, and I didn't want to be divorced.
43:05It's that Toby's life was no longer predictable.
43:08He had somehow had the sense of possibility returned to him.
43:12I'd been feeling so old.
43:14Here was Toby, exact same age, just realizing how young he was.
43:19I couldn't believe that it was possible for two people to be the same age and feel so different.
43:23Which one of us was right?
43:26Which is a way of saying that I was going through something too right then, but I couldn't name it
43:31yet.
43:32Are you Elizabeth Slater?
43:33I was.
43:36Sign us, please.
43:36Yeah.
43:42Thanks.
44:02But this isn't about me.
44:04Okay, I don't know what you think you're doing, but I have two kids dressed for the theater at my
44:08apartment for a 7 o'clock curtain, and it is 5.55.
44:11Yeah, what?
44:12What?
44:14Yeah.
44:14We already missed our reservation. We're never going to get there in time.
44:17Yeah, I don't know where she is, okay?
44:18If I had a boat, you'd just pick up. She hates you.
44:20Hannah, enough!
44:21Oh, thank God!
44:25Mom!
44:27Oh, no, no!
44:27Oh, shit!
44:28Oh, shit!
44:28Stop it!
44:28No, no, that's- I'm so sorry. I've had a change of plan.
44:31Who kids are those?
44:31They're mine. Well, one of them's a friend of my daughter's, the tall one, like the blonde one.
44:34It doesn't matter.
44:34I'm not here to be humiliated!
44:36Yes, I'm not trying to humiliate you, Tess. I am so sorry.
44:38Fuck off!
44:41Dad, where is Mom?
44:42Yeah, that woman had the wrong apartment.
44:44Hey, are you okay, buddy?
44:45She knew your name.
44:48I know the one I'm crying.
44:49Oh, God.
44:50I hate you! Where is Mom?
44:52I don't know, Hannah!
44:53Where is Mom?
44:56Where are you?
44:59Where was she?
45:01This is so embarrassing, I think.
45:37This is so embarrassing, I think.
46:23This is so embarrassing, I think.
46:53This is so embarrassing, I think.
46:58This is so embarrassing.
46:59This is so embarrassing.
46:59This is so embarrassing.
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