- 27 minutes ago
Taskmaster (2015) Season 21 Episode 2
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:02Don't look away
00:16I might just do this all day
00:33Hello, thank you, welcome to Taskmaster, a herd of comedy wildebeest being whittled down by the natural selection of their
00:41own incompetence
00:42What lies in wait for them at the watering hole today?
00:45Huh, let's get in the Jeep Jeep and go and find out. I hope it's not a comedy crocodile
00:51Please welcome
00:53Amy Gledhill
00:56Armando Iannucci
00:58Joanna Page
01:01Joel Domest
01:02And Kamal Nanjani
01:07And next to me, a man whose favourite films, he tells me, are the Carry On films
01:12Because it reminds him of a golden time in mainstream culture
01:15When women could be openly objectified
01:17And it was okay to acknowledge that some foreign accents are just hilarious
01:23Little Alatog
01:26Little Alatog
01:28It wouldn't
01:29Are you paraphrasing?
01:31Let's get going
01:32C, Senor Davies
01:34And the prize task category this week is the most unquestionable thing of beauty
01:39Yes, it's clear-cut
01:40It's unquestionable
01:42And yet he will question them and judge them and give maximum points for the most unquestionable one
01:47Such is his right
01:48And that was a reading from Corinthians chapter 9 verse 18
01:52Let's do this
01:53Who should we have first?
01:54Joanna Page
01:54My thing of unquestionable beauty is unquestionable evidence of the fact that I was voted Wales' sexiest woman in 2009
02:10This is what she's brought in to represent unquestionable beauty
02:13Oh
02:15You might think this is shallow, right?
02:18But this isn't mine
02:19This is taken from my mother's scrapbook
02:21And this is going on like 20 years old
02:24And she still has this
02:25And she has this because she's proud of me
02:28Yes
02:28And if this doesn't say about the unquestionable beauty of a mother's love for her daughter
02:34Then I don't know what does
02:36And it gets me here
02:38Right
02:42I think that is a very strong star
02:45Thank you
02:46Right, we're off
02:46Come out
02:47I brought in something that I find to be very beautiful
02:49And I cannot believe my friend found it in the trash
02:52Oh, what?
02:53Look at this, Greg
02:55It's a painting that is absolutely gorgeous
02:59It just looks like this ghostly child's being held captive
03:02It's grotesque
03:04Thank you
03:05Can we look at the back of it, please?
03:07Yeah, the back looks like this
03:09It says T-Pain
03:11Why does it say the name of the King of Artertune on the back?
03:14Because it's art, Greg
03:16And I think the painting's haunted
03:18I've been trying to get rid of it for years
03:21I didn't even ship it here
03:22It was just in my hotel room when I checked in
03:25I really hope I lose this episode
03:28Well, you're off to a great start
03:33I don't know
03:34I don't know
03:34I don't know
03:34It's my wife took it
03:35She's normally a very good photographer
03:36She said it was an accident
03:37Yeah, this is a photo of Amanda
03:39So
03:39LAUGHTER
03:42I think it's a happy accident
03:44Because it actually shows just the
03:46How unquestionably beautiful
03:47The whole of planet Earth is
03:49The nature
03:50The sky
03:52And how unbelievably insignificant we are as part of it
03:56I don't know
03:57I don't know how insignificant the haunting Egg Island is
04:02Two left, Greg
04:03Amy
04:03I have brought a painting of Yorkshire
04:07Because I think Yorkshire's beautiful
04:08And I've made a very special frame
04:11Which I'd like to show you
04:12Which I think makes it even more beautiful
04:15Well, take a look at this
04:16LAUGHTER
04:22APPLAUSE
04:22Good
04:24Who did the painting?
04:25My friend Poppy Hillstead
04:26From Yorkshire?
04:27Yeah
04:28Hey, oh!
04:30I like it very much
04:32Joel, what have you brought us?
04:34I've also gone for a painting, Amy
04:37Take a look at this, Greg
04:39LAUGHTER
04:41APPLAUSE
04:46I know what you've done
04:48You know what I've done?
04:49If you've not guessed
04:50And it's your head
04:51And that's your body
04:53Oh, my
04:54Oh, is it your body?
04:55It's your body
04:56And it's Greg's head
04:57And that's little Alex Horne on the pants
04:59Yeah, I see that
05:01You and I make a great hybrid
05:03LAUGHTER
05:04Oh, it's sort of so sad
05:06Because I'll never get to see that in real life
05:08Really, it's just that head on top of a bag of suet
05:12LAUGHTER
05:14Right, do you want to score these beautiful things?
05:17Yeah, it's tough
05:18Mm
05:18Because I was quite touched by all but one
05:22LAUGHTER
05:23There's one to come out
05:24And you'll thank me for that
05:25I think there's got to be a gap between creepy child and the others
05:29I'm going to give muscly me three points
05:31Muscly me
05:32OK, so three points to Joel
05:33I'm going to give Armando's Head Island four points
05:37Thank you
05:37The general populace would love the bond between mother and daughter
05:42And the people of Yorkshire would love to be celebrated
05:45By a picture surrounded by Yorkshire puddings
05:48And thus, five points each to the two ladies
05:50There we go
05:51Five points to Amy, five points to Joanna
05:53APPLAUSE
05:55Let us task
05:56Yes, and we begin with something you and I struggle with before every recording, Greg
06:00Kissing?
06:01No, it's what to wear
06:02What to wear
06:17Hello
06:17Big deep breath, in you go
06:22OK
06:22Ooh, echo
06:25Do you like the acoustics?
06:27Yeah, whoa
06:27Whoa
06:28Yeah, it makes my skull vibrate
06:31Is it warm in there?
06:33It's warm and loud
06:34I feel like I should be grabbing money at the end of the crystal maze
06:37What's that?
06:38Oh, it's another shot
06:39No
06:40It was popular before this one was
06:42I want to keep the seals, I'm going to keep all these seals
06:45For eBay
06:48It's lovely and sunny
06:49Oh my god
06:50Choose how much of Alex's bowling outfit to wear throughout part two
06:57If you choose Alex's bowling overalls, your final time will be reduced by two minutes
07:02If you choose Alex's bowling gloves, your final time will be reduced by three minutes
07:08If you choose Alex's bowling glasses, your time will be reduced by four minutes
07:14If you choose Alex's bowling shoes, your final time will be reduced by five minutes
07:20If you choose to wear Alex's whole bowling outfit, your final time will be reduced by 20 minutes
07:29You have one minute
07:31Your time starts now
07:33The more I choose, my final time will be reduced by 20 minutes, so that's good
07:38I want to reduce my time
07:40Who knows
07:41There may be a hindrance
07:42There may be
07:43I'm going to go for bowling overalls
07:45Bowling overalls
07:47I'm going to put your bowling glasses on
07:49Okay
07:50So I will wear the shoes and the gloves
07:55Your time will be reduced by eight minutes
07:57I want to go the whole outfit then, am I?
08:00Overalls, gloves, glasses and shoes
08:02Yeah
08:03I choose to wear your whole outfit
08:05Good stuff, I'll bring it to you now
08:10Oh god
08:17Who are the two people that chose to hold outfits? What's your thinking with that?
08:20This is quite interesting about this show
08:22You know, it makes you realise who you are as a person
08:25Yeah
08:25You know, and I've realised I'm really excited
08:29Yeah
08:29And fucking stupid
08:30Yeah
08:32Let's see what the skittle outfits did, shall we?
08:34Yes, well, decisions have been made
08:36Will they regret those decisions?
08:37Of course they will
08:48Oh
08:49Oh, hi Joanna
08:49Hello
08:50You're wearing my bowling glasses
08:51I am
08:52They're very nice
08:54Yeah, they help
08:56I did say
08:57There's something Guantanamo about this whole process, didn't I?
09:02Yeah, I strongly disagree with that
09:04I think I've got my technique down
09:06Yeah
09:07And I've never worn these
09:09You look good
09:10You look?
09:12Yeah
09:12You wouldn't lie to me now
09:13I know
09:14Well, yeah, please be careful
09:17Find and open the task
09:18And give it a good read
09:21LAUGHTER
09:23LAUGHTER
09:32There we go, well done
09:34Get the bowling ball in the bucket
09:38You must stay on stage at all times
09:41There is a two-minute time penalty
09:45But any skittle touched
09:48And all skittles must be standing when the bowling ball enters the bucket
09:53Fastest wins
09:54Your time started when you stepped on the stage
09:56Where's the bowling ball?
09:57Oh!
09:58All right
09:59Oh, no
10:06The thing I already love about this group of contestants is that
10:10None of them might
10:11Like
10:12When you find out it's some awful outfit that's going to make things so much worse
10:16You're like
10:16Ha-ha-ha!
10:18Joanna was just
10:19Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho
10:20It's like
10:21I'm really excited
10:22I know
10:22Because they were really good fun to put on
10:25Yeah
10:26OK, let's bowl
10:27Well, up first it is Amy G and Joe P
10:31Get the bowling ball in the bucket
10:37On the stage
10:38It's quite near the skittles
10:40It's right near the skittles
10:41Oh, I can see
10:43I can see it
10:45Oh, right, OK
10:48Get the bowling ball in the bandit
10:52Oh, shoot
10:53Oh, shoot
10:53Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho
10:54Oh, my God, no
10:56No
10:57No
10:58No
10:59Oh, my God
11:01Oh, my God
11:03Oh, no
11:04The good news is you've only touched one skittle
11:06Oh, my God
11:07Do I have to put all of these back up for when it goes in
11:09I think so
11:10OK
11:10Oh, my God
11:12This isn't how I expected this to go all right, all right
11:18Standing them up one at a time
11:30I
11:39Reckon I'm on for losing this task
11:42No, see dogs
11:48Three left two left
12:04It was probably yeah, but they all had to be standing up when the ball went in the bucket they
12:08did badly
12:10Amy took 32 minutes
12:13But you saved 20 minutes while wearing
12:17Every single skittle that's 54 skittles two minute penalty per skittles, so that's a punishment of a hundred and eight
12:23minutes
12:25You took exactly two hours
12:28Wow
12:29Joanna you actually only took five minutes 59 to get really wow and also touched every single skittle
12:34So your total time was 109 minutes and 59 seconds. You're about 10 minutes quicker. You're in the lead
12:39Yes now in a sad reflection of the state of our society. We must pause for some gambling adverts
12:45I don't think it's advert time
12:47Do you want to bet?
12:48Yes
12:49LAUGHTER
12:58APPLAUSE
13:02Hello! We're back and it's part two and there's a ball that badly needs to be banged into a bucket
13:08Who's next? That's right, kids, it's Joel and Amanda.
13:12I don't regret my decision.
13:14I bet you're all thinking that I regret it.
13:16You guys can absolutely do one.
13:19Ooh!
13:21Restrict the number of skittles to I touch.
13:25Do be careful.
13:27Two minutes each.
13:29See you later.
13:31One. One?
13:34Well, I might do two.
13:36Don't regret it.
13:41This will be very heavy.
13:44Ooh!
13:46Where is it?
13:48God, Jesus.
13:50Argh!
13:57Where were they standing when the ball went in the bucket?
14:01You have it on record. You filmed that, didn't you?
14:04Argh!
14:04Argh!
14:05Argh!
14:07You're putting your hopes on the freeze frame with that ball going in the bucket.
14:10They're still on their feet, these skittles.
14:12Yeah. Task complete.
14:16Nearly!
14:22Two, four.
14:24No!
14:24Oh!
14:24Oh, fuck off!
14:26It's off!
14:28It's off!
14:29It's off!
14:29It's off!
14:35It's off!
14:38It's off!
14:44No way.
14:51Don't regret it
14:59I don't
15:26APPLAUSE
15:35What a shit.
15:37LAUGHTER
15:38Oh, he is, he is a little shit. Oh, God, yes.
15:40Well, I put it there to make it easier. You didn't have to...
15:43Yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:45LAUGHTER
15:47Who'd have thought that your fingers
15:49scrambling around trying to get into
15:51a bowling ball would be so tense?
15:53I kind of enjoyed the drama of it, watching it back.
15:55Oh, Christ, I was on the edge of my seat.
15:56You were very close to nailing the task. You were quick.
15:593 minutes 20, you put the ball in. Yeah, and you did offer me
16:01the option of then saying
16:03you've got time to pick them all up, and
16:04I thought that was funny, I want to just stop at the funny.
16:07And also, I couldn't be bothered.
16:09LAUGHTER
16:11Do you regret not regretting it with the wisdom of hindsight?
16:13I think it was absolutely fine.
16:15You know, it was an adventure, and hopefully
16:17that adventure didn't cost me too much time.
16:19You were almost exactly the same as Amy,
16:21because you touched every single skittle,
16:23you were wearing all the outfits, so it was minus 20,
16:25but plus 108. And you took
16:2728 minutes and 46 seconds, so you were
16:29ever so slightly quicker than Amy.
16:31I don't regret it.
16:33Who's next? Yes, well, there's only one person
16:35left to see.
16:36LAUGHTER
16:37According to his resume, he's agile,
16:40he's strong, he's sexy, he's smart,
16:42and he's made for exactly this sort of task.
16:44Yes, he's Kamel Nanjani.
16:47BUZZER
16:48BUZZER
16:51BUZZER
16:52BUZZER
16:54BUZZER
16:55I've touched two skittles. Yes.
16:58BUZZER
16:59BUZZER
17:03BUZZER
17:03OK, if you've not touched that one.
17:05BUZZER
17:07Clever.
17:09BUZZER
17:12Well, right, I'm learning.
17:14BUZZER
17:14OK.
17:25This feels like a big moment.
17:28BUZZER
17:28BUZZER
17:44This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me.
17:56Oh.
18:04Can I get some water?
18:06I'm getting a cramp.
18:07Hold on.
18:17Can you get me a banana?
18:18Yeah, I can get a banana.
18:20I'm just going now.
18:22Oh.
18:23Oh.
18:24Oh.
18:26Oh.
18:30Oh.
18:50Oh.
18:51Oh.
18:5285 seconds?
18:53OK.
18:54Yeah?
18:55Sure.
18:56OK.
18:59Oh.
19:08Oh.
19:12Oh.
19:12Oh.
19:13Oh.
19:20It did go in the bucket.
19:22It's not in the bucket.
19:23It was in the bucket for a moment.
19:33Do it gingerly this time.
19:37I've stopped the clock, Camille.
19:40Well done.
19:45I had conflicting emotions watching you.
19:48Like, there were very clever things.
19:49Like, you came up with the not touching the Skittles system.
19:52And I thought, oh, that's clever.
19:53And then very quickly after it, I thought, oh, I'm not going to have to watch him move all of
19:57them.
19:59I decided that no matter how long it took, I was going to get them done and I was only
20:05going to touch two Skittles.
20:06You did touch four in the end and you took nearly 40 minutes to do it.
20:10But because of my bargaining, the maths means that the 85 second penalty per Skittles that I touch, you actually
20:16got it in 55 minutes and 13 seconds.
20:18You actually were the fastest out of the five of them.
20:20I won that.
20:21We won this task.
20:22We won this task.
20:24What?
20:27Let's get some points out, Yves.
20:29OK, well, Armando did not really finish the task.
20:32Couldn't care less.
20:34I don't regret it.
20:36OK.
20:37So, zero to Armando.
20:38We jump up, then Amy, two hours, two points somehow.
20:41Joel, nearly two hours, three points.
20:43Joanna, also nearly two hours, four points.
20:46But the winner of the task, five points, it's Kamala Gurley!
20:50Do you think you can see a scoreboard, please?
20:53I do.
20:53Armando, you won't be surprised to hear, you're currently in last place with four points.
20:57And at the top, she won the first episode, she's winning this one.
21:00Joanna Page has nine points.
21:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
21:04Next one, please.
21:06OK, but let's just slow down a moment and take some time to reflect.
21:20Hello?
21:22Oh!
21:25Hello?
21:28Oh!
21:34Hello?
21:38Ah!
21:42Shout out to the art department.
21:45Absolutely fantastic.
21:46Oh!
21:46Whoa!
21:48This is incredible.
21:50Right, OK.
21:51Oh, there you...
21:52Oh, hello.
21:53Right, yes.
21:55Ah, yes.
21:56Yes.
21:59Hey, Alex, come out.
22:04Ooh.
22:06Oh, no, didn't think so. Shall I?
22:09Yes, please.
22:12OK. That was great, man.
22:15Like, exhilarating.
22:17Exhilarating. Yep.
22:18Do exactly what your reflection does.
22:20You must decide what Alex does, then mirror him most ambitious...
22:25..but also accurate mirroring wins.
22:27You have a maximum of 20 minutes.
22:30Your time starts now. OK.
22:33So I've got 20 minutes to decide what my...
22:36..me do for...
22:38OK.
22:40So I decide what you do, and then I do it with you.
22:45Mm-hm. Ideally something I'm good at.
22:48I just need to think about ambitious, er...
22:51..yes. I'll leave you to it. Yeah.
22:53Can you do a handstand?
22:55No. Can you?
22:56Yeah.
22:57Ah.
22:58You can teach me.
23:00Like, I feel like we should learn a dance.
23:0220 minutes, I think, like, we could, like, get it down.
23:04Scoop. Scoop.
23:05I'm gonna scoop that way. Scoop. Scoop.
23:08Let's get a couple easels, and then we'll paint.
23:11And what are we gonna paint?
23:13That's up to you.
23:14You know what?
23:15I think you paint whatever you want to paint.
23:17All you've got to do...
23:18I don't even know if I can genuinely do a handstand now.
23:20I'm 48 and I've had four children.
23:23Oh.
23:23I'm gonna try and see if it's possible.
23:24Are you ready?
23:25OK.
23:27Ah!
23:27It's not possible!
23:29LAUGHTER
23:32Oh, God!
23:39Unbelievable!
23:41Oh, my God!
23:43I can't think we're ever gonna see anything less ambitious
23:47than the time between you announcing you can do a handstand
23:51and the reality.
23:52Oh, my God, I really thought I could still do them.
23:55When was the last time you did one?
23:57Probably when I was about 12!
24:00So, ambition.
24:01It's ambition and accuracy, Greg.
24:03Mmm.
24:03Got to factor in the answer.
24:04Oh, I'll factor that in, don't you worry.
24:06Well, let's go with Amy, who went to some pretty extreme lengths
24:08to make me appear just like her.
24:15SHE'S SMART
24:16warto
24:16tch
24:17llegar
24:40tch
24:41con
24:41MUSIC CONTINUES
24:58The accuracy was high, I thought. Thank you. Very good.
25:02I am somewhat confused by you dressing as Barry Gibb.
25:08LAUGHTER
25:10The shoot dance was good. There was lots going on.
25:12There was lots of accuracy. It's a hell of a start.
25:14Next, it's Joel. And if you're wondering if he took his top off...
25:18LAUGHTER
25:19..there are no... There are no spoilers here.
25:22LAUGHTER
25:37MUSIC CONTINUES
25:38LAUGHTER
25:39MUSIC CONTINUES
25:54LAUGHTER
25:54LAUGHTER
25:58APPLAUSE
26:01That was sad.
26:03Nice homoerotic thing.
26:05LAUGHTER
26:06I've seen all week.
26:08We were facing away from each other, so that's really difficult.
26:11The level of difficulty is absolutely incredible.
26:14And we took our tops off. That's fun, right?
26:16Yeah, yeah.
26:17Yeah, I was probably more drawn in by you taking your tops off and kissing.
26:21LAUGHTER
26:22Time for an advert break, I think.
26:25We'll see you in a minute.
26:26LAUGHTER
26:26MUSIC CONTINUES
26:34APPLAUSE
26:35Hello!
26:36Yes!
26:37Don't you worry, we're still here.
26:39The current task has seen our art department excel
26:42with a mirror illusion in a lab.
26:44And now it's Kamel looking in the mirror, as per bloody usual.
26:48LAUGHTER
26:52MUSIC CONTINUES
26:53MUSIC CONTINUES
26:56MUSIC CONTINUES
26:57MUSIC CONTINUES
27:02MUSIC CONTINUES
27:06MUSIC CONTINUES
27:08MUSIC CONTINUES
27:08MUSIC CONTINUES
27:11MUSIC CONTINUES
27:13MUSIC PLAYS
27:37How did you feel that went?
27:38I can't paint, so I don't know why I chose to do that.
27:43But isn't that ambitious, ironically?
27:46That's why I did it.
27:48You know the thing that vexed me the most about it?
27:50Yes.
27:50You missed one of the rabbit's giant ears off.
27:53I didn't, I put both ears on the same side.
27:56On the same side?
27:57I did.
27:58What's next?
27:59Will it be a handstand performance next?
28:02Definitely not, because it's Joanna Payne.
28:17AAAAAAAAAAA
28:18MUSIC CONTINUES
28:18MUSIC CONTINUES
28:44What I'm interested in is the narrative of your dance.
28:48I don't think I was even, like, human.
28:49We were sort of just emotional and it was, like, exhilarating and sort of finding this freedom together on an
28:57emotional plane.
28:59Ah.
28:59And then, after going round like that, that was a huge release.
29:03This is making me look at steps in a whole different way.
29:07And then, from what emerged from that was, I can birth and bring life in...
29:12It's the love of a mother and a daughter.
29:15Exactly.
29:16Exactly.
29:18Wow.
29:18Wow.
29:19Wow.
29:21Wow.
29:22I enjoyed the analogy.
29:24I suspect it was all horse shit.
29:28Is there any one left to see?
29:29Let's go.
29:29It is Armando's attempt now.
29:31Unfortunately, he wasn't actually available on the day, so instead, he sent Ben Kingsley in to do it for him.
29:38Let's have a look at Ben Kingsley.
29:59I think it wasè·¯.
30:19ORCHESTRAL MUSIC
30:27APPLAUSE
30:31Oh, my God. I enjoyed that.
30:33I mean, speaking as a man of a similar vintage to you,
30:37just throwing yourself on the floor was ambitious.
30:39Yeah? Bit of slapstick.
30:40Why did you decide to cast yourself as Ben Kingsley?
30:42No, I was just trying to look like him.
30:44We were trying to meet in the middle, I think, was the idea.
30:46Well, I went that way.
30:47Yeah, thank you.
30:48Was Ben Kingsley known for diving?
30:50That's why I was watching you, like, is there a reference?
30:52Let's just forget Ben Kingsley.
30:55It was me. It was just trying to look like him.
30:57That was you?
31:01I mean, that's how good it was.
31:04Apart from Camels, obviously, I loved them all.
31:09One point.
31:10OK.
31:11One point to Camel.
31:12They were all pretty powerful from this point onwards.
31:14So let's look at accuracy.
31:17Probably Joel's was slightly less accurate than the others.
31:19Yeah, I can understand that.
31:20And I'm going to give you two points, but I think it's harsh.
31:22I'll tell you that.
31:23That's all right.
31:23Now, how accurate was the universe?
31:28Slightly less accurate than the shoop-shoop, I think.
31:31So whilst it was a powerful statement about life,
31:34I can only give you three points.
31:36I'll take that.
31:37I'm going to give Amy four points because it was incredibly accurate.
31:40That is harsh.
31:41The one that moved me the most and was also accurate,
31:44and I think it will open up new doors for him.
31:46LAUGHTER
31:47Finally.
31:48That was Armando Iannucci text file.
31:50Yay.
31:51High points for our memory.
31:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
31:55What is next?
31:56Well, it is My Idea of Heaven.
31:58Lots of instructions, a secret code and a really big balloon.
32:15Hello?
32:17Everything all right in there?
32:19I think so.
32:20Present.
32:22Present or present?
32:24Great question.
32:26This is your sort of thing.
32:27This is my sort of thing?
32:29I think so.
32:29Do you reckon?
32:30What is my sort of thing?
32:31Fun?
32:32Fun.
32:34Right.
32:35Achieve the most things on this list.
32:38Before the balloon pops.
32:40If you do the special thing,
32:42the balloon will stop inflating for ten seconds.
32:46Ten seconds?
32:47If you do the special thing?
32:53I feel like I haven't been looking around for alternate solutions.
32:57You must not touch the balloon mechanism.
32:59Your time starts when the balloon starts inflating.
33:04The special...
33:05Oh, my God.
33:06Oh!
33:07Oh, gosh!
33:07Right.
33:09OK.
33:10Right.
33:12Right.
33:12What's the special thing?
33:13Stop inflating!
33:15APPLAUSE
33:18You thought the special thing might be to say stop inflating, did you?
33:21I thought it was worth a shot.
33:24Well, this is all pretty self-explanatory, I think.
33:27I don't want to dwell.
33:28I just want to crack on and have a look.
33:29Fair enough.
33:29They were under pressure.
33:30They had to achieve a lot of different things.
33:31And we're going to begin with three of the five,
33:33and that is Joanna, Joel and Amy.
33:36One.
33:37Thread a needle.
33:40Yes.
33:41I told you it was your sort of thing.
33:42I love this.
33:45This is ridiculous.
33:46What's the special thing?
33:48I love you.
33:50OK, I found the end of the sticky tape.
33:52One.
33:52That's one.
33:53Put on the galoshes.
33:55Oh, dear.
33:56This is a mistake.
33:57Ah!
33:59Ah!
34:01Get it, get it, get it!
34:03Be whispered to by a man on the phone.
34:05Right.
34:06My husband never answers the phone.
34:07We're actually in the middle of an argument
34:08because he doesn't answer the phone.
34:10Hello?
34:11Chris?
34:12I need you to whisper to me on the phone.
34:14Yes, I can whisper to you.
34:16Two.
34:16OK, bye!
34:18Whisper, er, what you had for breakfast.
34:20All right, thanks very much.
34:23Go, go, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.
34:24I'll put my number...
34:25Fine.
34:25...into yours.
34:29What do you want me to whisper?
34:31Hello, I'm a big fan...
34:33...of you.
34:34I'm a big fan of you.
34:37Done.
34:38Put on the galoshes.
34:40Put on the galoshes.
34:41We're shouted out by a woman on the phone.
34:42Where's my mother?
34:43Come on, Mum.
34:45Oh, yeah, Mum!
34:46Can you just very quickly just shout out what you had for breakfast?
34:49Shout at me down the phone!
34:50I'll shout at you.
34:52One more second.
34:52Mum, you don't have to wait just shout out!
34:55What's it is you doing, for goodness sake?
34:59Thank you!
35:00Just a scrambled egg!
35:02Grambled egg!
35:03Thanks, Mum!
35:04Thank you very much!
35:05Find the end of the sticky tape.
35:07Right.
35:07Oh, yeah, yeah.
35:08No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
35:10I'm good at this.
35:11Oh, you are good at that, yep.
35:12I'm just soaking a pouch.
35:13What do you think a pouch is?
35:15That's a pouch.
35:15OK, fair enough.
35:16So up the pouch.
35:17Right, I'm going to put the galoshes on first,
35:21because that's something.
35:23They're on.
35:24They're on.
35:25I'm going to do the present first.
35:27Did it say neatly?
35:28Yeah.
35:29Yeah.
35:33Could you read to me what else is on the list?
35:36Say every number between 1 and 50,
35:37except for the numbers divisible by 7, 4 and 3.
35:40Howl for 30 seconds.
35:41Ooh!
35:43Ooh!
35:46Ooh!
35:46Ah, ah, ah!
35:47OK.
35:47I hate maths.
35:48You've done that?
35:49And to be honest, yeah, I've done it,
35:50and I've got to sew up my pouch.
35:52Where does a galosh start and a wader end?
35:56Where do you think the pouch is?
35:57Oh, fuck!
35:59Is it in there?
36:00Ah!
36:01Have you shouted out by a woman on the phone?
36:03My wife just rang.
36:04It was perfect timing, actually.
36:06I've sewn up that.
36:07Yeah, that counts.
36:09Sew up the pouch once you put a sock in it.
36:12Oh, my God!
36:13Oh, I didn't know anything then I told her!
36:16You're so clever!
36:19Ah!
36:21Oh!
36:26Welcome to the Eid.
36:27My wife just hung up a bit.
36:29Ah!
36:29Ah!
36:30Ah!
36:31Ah!
36:31Ah!
36:32Ah!
36:39Not bad.
36:40The first time I've seen you on this show so far,
36:44not looking like you're having the time of your life.
36:45Yeah.
36:46The threading of the needle seems to have broken you.
36:48I used the whole thing as sort of something,
36:50as some sort of way to get Alex Horne's number.
36:54I loved your mum needed a beat
36:58before she would shout at you straight away.
37:00She was in the middle of Swansea town centre.
37:03Yeah.
37:03And I was going,
37:05Mum, will you just shout down the phone?
37:06And she had to get herself together.
37:08I think it's a Welsh thing,
37:10because my relatives are Welsh as well,
37:11and I don't think there's a lot of shouting in Wales.
37:14Because the response to most situations is,
37:16well, there we are.
37:17Happens.
37:18My mum took no persuading.
37:21That's huge.
37:22Scrambled eggs!
37:23She was straight in, didn't even need to know why.
37:27Well, look, Amy did pretty well.
37:28Amy got seven out of the ten things done.
37:30Oh, all right.
37:31Which is a lot better than Joel,
37:32who got four or five if you count the neatly wrapped presents.
37:35Oh, yes, I do count it.
37:37Oh.
37:37Because he has to be rewarded for spending three hours threading an egg.
37:41OK, well, you've got half of things done,
37:43but this pales next to Joanna,
37:45who got nine out of ten.
37:46Oh!
37:47Oh!
37:47I'm late, I'm on my maths today.
37:49Wow!
37:50OK, time for the last ad break of the show.
37:53We're just moments away from one of the contestants
37:55winning a portrait of my head on an Asian man's body.
37:59Has this been signed off by Channel 4, Alex?
38:01Yes.
38:04We're safe!
38:05See you after the break.
38:10APPLAUSE
38:14Hello!
38:15Hello and welcome to part four of Taskmaster
38:18and some very speedy tasking.
38:20Oh, they're quick, they're slick, and I've done a little sick.
38:22Now, the final two attempts.
38:25First, they worked on Veep together.
38:26Now it's the next step on the entertainment career ladder.
38:29Trying to find the end of some sticky tape,
38:31howling and putting on galoshes.
38:32Yes, it's Armando and Camille.
38:34Oh!
38:35Oh, God, howl for 30 seconds.
38:37Ooh!
38:38Ooh!
38:40Ooh!
38:42Ooh!
38:4330 seconds, 30 seconds.
38:45Thank you, Camille.
38:46Lovely howling.
38:47Right, here we go.
38:48Wrap.
38:49Find the end of the sticky tape.
38:51Well, I'll make an end, and then I'll find it.
38:55That was cool.
38:56See, every number between one foot except for the numbers that
38:59have been for seven, four, or three.
39:00So, one, two, five, ten.
39:05I can't count and wrap.
39:07Hello, baby.
39:08Hey, Emily.
39:09I'm on camera.
39:09Can you just yell at me?
39:10I can't believe how much I love you!
39:13Yeah, I love you to buy it.
39:15Present wrap.
39:16Well done.
39:16Yeah, here we are.
39:17Um, galoshes.
39:19You've done the special thing, by the way.
39:21Have I done the special thing?
39:22Yeah, stop for 10 seconds.
39:23Well, right, I'm gonna do that towards the end, I think.
39:26How do I find out what the special thing is?
39:28I guess trial and error.
39:30I've threaded the needle.
39:31Tremendous work.
39:33I neatly wrapped the present.
39:36You've just done the special thing to see you know.
39:41Neatly wrapped the present.
39:43Neatly wrapped the present.
39:46What did I do?
39:47What did I do?
39:49What did I do?
39:49What was the special thing that I did?
39:5141.
39:5243.
39:5346.
39:5547.
39:5649.
39:58How would I be whispered to by a man on the phone?
40:01Is there a number to ring?
40:02There were quite a lot of numbers you could ring.
40:05Hey, man.
40:05Hey, can you whisper to me?
40:08You suck at the ass, master.
40:10You're gonna fail.
40:11Okay, wow, it really does sound like the inside of my own head.
40:13Thank you so much.
40:14Goodbye.
40:15Sock in a pouch.
40:16Pouch.
40:16Pouch.
40:17Pouch.
40:18Pouch.
40:19Where do you think the pouch might be?
40:21Oh, it's not...
40:24Can I have your sock?
40:27What are you looking for?
40:28I did something over here and the thing stopped.
40:30Oh, I see.
40:31Are you trying to do the special thing?
40:32Do that, didn't I do?
40:34Right, there we go.
40:35Well, this might make life easier.
40:50You just did the special thing again.
40:51Is it death?
40:52Yeah.
40:53Touching your head.
40:54Yeah.
40:56Hello?
40:57Hey, could you shout at me?
40:58Just shout at me.
40:59Why the hell did you forget the bits this morning?
41:02You're not shouting.
41:03You've got to shout.
41:08Well, too late.
41:11Goodbye.
41:13I forgot to do that.
41:19So you worked at the special thing, didn't you?
41:22I got engaged.
41:22I just got stuck in an argument with my wife.
41:27Who just told me I hadn't put the bins out.
41:30And had you not put the bins out?
41:31I hadn't.
41:33Interesting, your partner's declaration of love for you.
41:36Not very British, that.
41:37My wife is not here with me, and when I heard her voice,
41:40I got teary-eyed.
41:41I really did.
41:42Oh, my God.
41:43It's sickening.
41:46And presumably you've got someone who does the bins for you.
41:49No.
41:50She does the bins.
41:52Oh, she does.
41:53So, in the end, Joel, you were last.
41:55You got five out of ten, so one point.
41:57Then Armando got six out of ten, two points.
41:59Kamel and Amy both got seven out of ten, so they share four points each.
42:03The winner of the task, five points, nine things completed
42:05with Joanna Page.
42:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:08Well done, Joanna.
42:09OK, everyone, please, make you wait to the stage for the final task of the show!
42:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:19Alex, who will read the task?
42:22Kamel Nanjian is going to read the task.
42:24Here we go.
42:25Work out what word the piper is piping.
42:29You may have one guess and may only guess if you are the first to raise both your hands.
42:34First to two correct guesses wins.
42:37This is the piper.
42:38He's called Johnny Pipes.
42:39He'll pipe a word.
42:40You've got to try to work out what the word is.
42:41You have glockenspiels in front of you.
42:43You can try to recognise the notes that he's playing by playing your own glockenspiel.
42:46LAUGHTER
42:47I am genuinely medically tone deaf.
42:49Medically?
42:50LAUGHTER
42:51When you think you've got it right, raise both your hands and then you can say your guess when I
42:55point at you.
42:56But if you're wrong, you can't guess any more for that word.
42:58OK.
42:59Just to warn you, he's got to start with a letter E to get the pipes going.
43:04So when he's ready to spell his word, he will have his leg up and he will put it down
43:07to start the word.
43:09Joel, happy?
43:09Ah, I'm just going to warn you, I don't understand what's going on.
43:13LAUGHTER
43:13Let's go, Johnny.
43:14Yeah.
43:23You've spelt the first word.
43:28It was low.
43:33Johnny can spell it again if you want it.
43:35Yes, please.
43:35Please, Johnny.
43:35Let's have the word again.
43:46MUSIC PLAYS
43:47BUZZER
43:48BUZZER
43:49BUZZER
43:49BUZZER
43:50BUZZER
43:53BUZZER
43:53BUZZER
43:54Can I just say, I loved your face when Armando got a word, but your face went,
44:03It works!
44:04Yeah.
44:06LAUGHTER
44:09Yeah, OK.
44:10One to Armando, nothing to anyone else yet.
44:13OK.
44:13Ready for the next word?
44:15Leg up, Johnny.
44:19BUZZER
44:24BUZZER
44:24Straight in there.
44:25Amy?
44:26Egg!
44:26It is egg!
44:29It is egg!
44:30How are you feeling, John?
44:32I feel...
44:33It's just lovely to listen to music.
44:37One to Amy, one to Armando.
44:38Mm?
44:39The words are now going to get longer.
44:41Oh, God, right.
44:42Leg up, Johnny.
44:44BUZZER
44:55BUZZER
44:55BUZZER
44:55BUZZER
44:55BUZZER
44:56BUZZER
44:56BUZZER
44:57BUZZER
44:57BUZZER
44:57Maybe get a bit closer to the instrument, John.
45:01BUZZER
45:02BUZZER
45:03BUZZER
45:04BUZZER
45:05BUZZER
45:05Does anyone know any of the letters of this one?
45:07I feel I'm close, but it doesn't make a word.occupier
45:11BUZZER
45:11BUZZER
45:13BUZZER
45:13No. That
45:17clarifies
45:17that, though. Yeah, no.
45:18So, you have
45:18to have your hand on your hips, you're out of this word, Amanda. Can we
45:21have it
45:21once more, please? acknowledged
45:23Leg up, Jodie.
45:34If Joel gets this, I'm going to explode.
45:40Badge!
45:40Yeah!
45:49Let's go, Johnny.
45:50Leg up, Johnny.
46:05What's the word, Amy?
46:06Bagged.
46:07It is bagged!
46:11OK, well, I'll bring you down and we'll add that to the final scores.
46:17But first, a big round of applause for Johnny.
46:21Come down and join me.
46:26APPLAUSE
46:26So, Greg, Joanna and Kamel didn't get any right,
46:30but they came joint fourths, so they get two points.
46:32Amanda and Joel four points each for getting one right,
46:34but the winner of the task, five points,
46:36for her two correct answers is Amy Glethill!
46:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:53Thank you to your unquestionable beauty!
46:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:00Here's your winner tonight, Amy Glethill!
47:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:25iorts.
47:27Round two!
47:33Hit her that guy.
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