- 8 hours ago
Raising Chelsea S01E02
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TVTranscript
00:02No, no, this is not...
00:04It feels really inappropriate and also just really bizarre.
00:07And that man over there on the bridge is looking.
00:09Where?
00:10Thinking, why is he talking to her vagina?
00:12I'm not. Just let me just do this. Ready?
00:13I'm so excited to see you and meet you.
00:16He kicked!
00:17No, he didn't.
00:18Come on, don't do stuff like that.
00:20That's not cool, all right?
00:22You're going to be loved so much, you have no idea.
00:25We cannot wait to meet you.
00:26You're the most special thing in the entire world.
00:28There you go. See?
00:31Be honest with me, would you prefer it to look like you?
00:33No, I would love a little boy to look like you.
00:35You were so cute.
00:37You were, like, the sweetest little boy ever.
00:38I would be more than over the moon
00:40if he comes out like a spitting image of a mini Jamie.
00:44Not a mix, though.
00:45It is going to be a mix.
00:46But what, my cheekbones on your face?
00:51Your nose on my face.
00:53Yeah.
00:54What's wrong with my nose?
01:14The biggest grown-up between us two?
01:15I would say level par.
01:17I would say me.
01:19I've just suddenly become a grown-up.
01:22Bullshit!
01:22Yeah.
01:23What's council tax?
01:25Obviously, you know what council tax, you idiots.
01:27What is it?
01:27The tax you pay to the council.
01:29OK.
01:30I am taking the bull by the horns.
01:33You need to learn to try.
01:35I am.
01:35Don't worry about that.
01:36I am already on the money with that one.
01:52I am waiting for my driving instructor to come
01:55to give me a driving lesson.
01:57I just want to caveat this.
01:58I can drive, but what happened was that I passed my driving test
02:02and then, I don't know, apparently if you get caught speeding,
02:08then you get points on your licence.
02:10And then if you do that twice in the first year,
02:12you then lose your licence totally.
02:15The pressure is on to pass my driving test.
02:17Otherwise, who's going to drive us to the hospital
02:19and who's going to drive my baby back?
02:21I am going to say, even if you pass,
02:23I'm still not allowing you to drive to the hospital.
02:24We are going in a taxi.
02:26We're not going in a taxi.
02:27I can drive really well.
02:28No, you cannot.
02:29You've never parallel parked.
02:30Every time you get to a parallel park, you park the car,
02:32you take it out, I swap, and I parallel park for you.
02:37How are you doing, Jamie?
02:38Nice. How are you, man?
02:39I'm good. How are you?
02:40Nice to see you.
02:40Nice to meet you too, yeah?
02:41Are you ready for this?
02:41Yeah, ready for this. Are you ready?
02:43That's in drive.
02:44Yeah, and bring it down.
02:45OK, and then we're going to slowly...
02:47Oh, God, shit. OK.
02:53OK, where are we going?
02:54We're going to turn right.
02:55We're going to turn right?
02:56Yes.
02:56Check the mirrors, check the right.
02:56Good, well done.
03:04What was that beeping?
03:06Speed.
03:06OK, yes.
03:09That's why I got caught last time.
03:13I only have one chance of getting a test booked in
03:16and doing it before the baby comes.
03:17So, basically, whatever test I have coming up,
03:19I need to pass it.
03:20Like, I literally have to.
03:21This is a matter of manhood.
03:23So, how are you getting around now?
03:25My wife drives me.
03:28How does that feel?
03:34You're a full-time passenger princess, then?
03:36A full-time passenger princess.
03:38Oh, my God, no.
03:40Are you kidding me?
03:42When's the baby due, then, Jamie?
03:44As it's due in December.
03:46OK.
03:47So, not long left.
03:48Not long left.
03:48Have you thought of any names or...?
03:50Yeah, we've got names.
03:51Nice.
03:51It was where the baby was conceived.
03:54Oh, OK.
03:55So, we're going to call it Swindon.
03:59No offence to Swindon!
04:02We're keeping the name under wraps
04:04because I'm superstitious
04:05and I just think you should do that anyway.
04:06But we can tell these guys.
04:07Do you want to hear the full name?
04:10Ziggy Luca Grant Lane.
04:15Reverse parking is the hard thing.
04:17OK, here we go.
04:18No-one behind.
04:19We're going to reverse.
04:21Now, how am I doing out of ten?
04:22Ten out of ten.
04:23Ten out of ten!
04:26What?
04:27Did I hit the curb?
04:28Damn it!
04:32That's teaching from you.
04:33That is not me.
04:34I'd love him to drive before the baby's here.
04:37He needs to do that for himself, but also for us.
04:40I mean, it's now more than ever that he does need to grow up.
04:45I've got a Peter Pan tattoo.
04:47Oh, no, that's a teddy bear.
04:49Sorry.
04:50It's the wrong arm.
04:51Peter Pan had it right.
04:52He was just like, let's stay young forever and be naive
04:55and have fun for the rest of our lives.
04:57That's what I wanted to do forever.
05:00Jay is very good at bringing out the silly side in people,
05:03but also sort of, you know, all about business,
05:05and he manages to tap into those two different people.
05:10I'm not sure how he does it, but it's definitely a mega skill of his.
05:16The childlike bit of Jamie's, he's always got another idea.
05:19This is your addition. If you're shit, you won't hear from us.
05:21If I see Jamie in his working capacity,
05:25I just think, God, wow, Jamie, he's really good at it.
05:29Because you can go funny on it, but I don't think funny would work in this.
05:32I think you have to hit emotional.
05:34He's found a space and an appetite that he can fill.
05:37He'd be hopeless working in an office in insurance.
05:51First family car, honey.
05:52First family car, honey.
05:54A Porsche. And you can't drive it.
05:57Everything's gonna be right.
05:58Oh, baby.
06:00Oh, baby.
06:01Oh, my God.
06:02Oh, my God.
06:03Car's dead.
06:05You know you can honk when you go around corners.
06:07Okay.
06:08Backseat driver when you can't drive.
06:10I'm in the front seat.
06:10It's not.
06:13My mum is going to be so excited to see you.
06:15As she comes out, she's going to do this.
06:16Ah!
06:18And you're going to go.
06:21Hello, doggies.
06:23Hello, doggies.
06:24Hello, doggies.
06:31Hello, doggies.
06:32Jamie's mum and Jonathan live in the Cotswolds,
06:34and it's very slow pace, it's very relaxing,
06:37and it's incredibly sheltered.
06:39It's like that.
06:40And...
06:42Is it boring?
06:44Hiya!
06:45Ah!
06:47Oh, my God.
06:49Hello, doggies.
06:50Hello, doggies.
06:52Ah!
06:53Hello, pregnant lady.
06:55Hiya.
06:56Hiya, how are you?
06:57Good, thank you.
06:58How are you?
06:58Hello.
06:59You all right?
07:00Yeah, really good.
07:01You look like you've just come from a party.
07:04We've just...
07:05Jonathan thinks I'm dressed in lingerie.
07:08This has been the longest, most discussed pregnancy.
07:12Oh, my God.
07:13People...
07:13People sit down in a rice field and just give birth.
07:17I want to see some baby photos of you.
07:19There is Jamie Lane.
07:20He's been born.
07:21He's in hospital.
07:21Oh, my gosh, you're the sweetest baby ever.
07:24He was six pounds because he was so early.
07:26How early were you?
07:27He was four weeks early.
07:29And now we're skiing.
07:31So where am I?
07:31Because I'm a newborn and you've gone skiing.
07:34No.
07:34Yeah, well, I wonder who's got you.
07:35Probably the nanny.
07:36Julie!
07:36So Julie was my nanny.
07:38This is my nanny.
07:39Oh, my gosh.
07:40That's who Jamie got left with and Jamie never left her arms.
07:45You could ring Julie up and say, Julie, we're in Miami.
07:48Could you just pick the kids up, get them on a plane and get them here?
07:50And she'd have gone, all right, and she'd have done it.
07:52You never went without your silky.
07:53Silky everywhere.
07:54It was attached to you.
07:56Look at him.
07:57That's absolutely what you're going to get.
08:00Gorgeous little angel.
08:05Jamie, as a baby, always wanted to be on the go.
08:10And Jamie ran at 11 months.
08:14The overriding memory of Jamie as a child is tantrums.
08:22Jamie threw unbelievable tantrums.
08:29So what have you cooked us?
08:31We've got chicken salad.
08:32Where do you want to put them on?
08:33I'm going to put it at the end there.
08:35That looks absolutely phenomenal.
08:37Have you seen I've launched my book?
08:39I loved your last book.
08:40It was all about me.
08:43This is a whole lot different.
08:44And the title?
08:45Boys Don't Cry.
08:47Oh, God, it's not about mental health, is it?
08:49My God.
08:49I can't bear it.
08:53Your generation has been told that you should talk about everything.
08:57No, that's not true.
08:58We don't wallow in anxiety, which the current generation do.
09:05It's about resilience, actually.
09:07Oh, that's a much better word.
09:08Yeah, it's about resilience.
09:10Are you going to read it?
09:12If it's about resilience, I might read it.
09:14If it's about mental health, John Pop, no.
09:18Penny is amazing and so is Jonathan.
09:20But, you know, they're from a different generation to us
09:22and their response to Jamie's book was everything I thought their response would be.
09:26You know, sort of, why would a man have emotions and why would they feel them?
09:29And for God's sake, if you do have them, don't talk about them.
09:32It's an A to Z of everything that we don't talk about.
09:35A to Z of what?
09:36Is it not the initial reaction to go, well done, you?
09:42It's going to help a lot of people, I promise you.
09:43It will do.
09:44Okay.
09:45Oh, magic.
09:46Well done, John Pop.
09:46Growing up, I never spoke about anything. Nothing.
09:49I never spoke about my anxiety.
09:51I never really am all...
09:52I've never really been honest about how I felt or what I went through.
09:56So I have a book coming out called Boys Don't Cry.
09:59I wrote the book to try and help people who are living in silence
10:03because I really think there's a real problem with men not talking about stuff.
10:09Do you know what I find so hilarious?
10:11It's how they react to my book.
10:13They kill me.
10:14Honestly, my parents are so...
10:15They're so funny.
10:17It's like they're stuck.
10:20Do you think that your mum will be shocked reading the book?
10:23Because it's very personal and she'll learn, like, a lot about you.
10:26She'll learn a lot of things she didn't know, maybe.
10:30Maybe.
10:31Do you think that you want to warn her about that?
10:33Yeah, I will warn her at some point.
10:35One thing that I'd never really spoken about in my life was,
10:39you know, I struggled with, like, my weight.
10:45I played a lot of sport growing up.
10:47Then I injured my knee so I couldn't play sport again.
10:49But I kept eating the same amount.
10:51I was just living this unhealthy lifestyle and I suddenly realised that I looked stocky.
10:56I looked overweight.
10:56The only thing I could control at certain times was that I would, like, I would then, you know, throw
11:04my food back up.
11:06The problem is I've never spoken to anyone about it.
11:09I reckon we've got enough blackberries.
11:13Come on, doggies!
11:14Let's go!
11:17Can I tell you something controversial?
11:19I don't actually like blackberries.
11:30Hi, Mum.
11:31I'm so happy to be back in London.
11:33I want to show you something.
11:35Will you meet me on Oxford Street?
11:40So, this is good, sorry.
11:42I know!
11:43I don't really know where it is.
11:45Let's have a look.
11:46Everyone used to see me as just Jamie Lang's girlfriend or wife.
11:49But we have, like, our own separate careers, more so now.
11:52And I think that also has really helped with, like, my own confidence.
11:59I model for campaigns and I've started partnering with some big brands.
12:04And I've just shot, like, a few campaigns this year, which is really exciting.
12:09There you are!
12:10Look at you!
12:12That's so cool!
12:13And I'm going to be the face of Max Fetcher and I'm so excited and grateful.
12:18Sophie has a great feel for, like, what works and doesn't work.
12:22You almost want to shoot it in Paris.
12:24Like, one of those OG adverts.
12:26Yeah.
12:26Like, sexy and romantic.
12:28She has her fingers on the pole.
12:29I like the concept of that.
12:31It tells more of a story.
12:32She's amazing.
12:34Yeah, when did you do this?
12:35So, I was, like, two weeks pregnant there.
12:38And now look at this.
12:39I know.
12:41I'm really so proud of you.
12:42Thanks, Mum.
12:42It's amazing.
12:44It is really good.
12:45Look at that.
12:45I mean, that's Mum looking at her daughter in the shops.
12:49Aw.
12:49So cool.
12:51As a mum seeing all the results that she's had from all her hard work,
12:56I couldn't be more proud.
12:58But I do find it still quite shocking.
13:00So, I will walk with her somewhere and people will stop her.
13:03And I'm going, oh, God.
13:04I went, oh, yeah, of course.
13:06I'm safe.
13:06Because, obviously, she's just still my little girl.
13:08I just see her as that.
13:13She's always been central attention.
13:15Always loved being on stage.
13:18And then I'll see her big picture of her again.
13:20Oh, my goodness.
13:21That's my daughter.
13:23So, I'm proud of where I am now in my career.
13:27And so, going on maternity leave, it is scary.
13:29Because I've worked hard to get here.
13:31And I've really loved doing what I do.
13:35But if I'm going on maternity leave,
13:36then someone else is going to do a podcast.
13:38Or someone else is going to host that job.
13:40Like, someone else is going to be the face of X, Y, and Z.
13:42Like, I think in this industry in particular,
13:45it's like, you're hot one minute and you're not the next.
13:47I know you get embarrassed, but honestly, it's a really cool thing.
13:50And now I'm going to buy it.
13:52OK, so you go buy it?
13:53Yeah.
13:53We're going to buy it.
14:02Right now, I wouldn't trust Jamie with the baby.
14:04You're kidding me!
14:05I love you so much!
14:06You're kidding me!
14:07Jamie, I'm sure the minute you called him,
14:1024 hours later, I would trust you.
14:12But right in this moment, no.
14:14I don't trust her with my baby.
14:16Tell the truth.
14:17I don't trust Sophie around babies.
14:24Oh, my God, what?
14:29What's up, Beastie?
14:30Oh, Beastie just playing daddy over here.
14:32What do you mean?
14:33OK, I've got a baby in my arms.
14:35Not a real baby, it's a fake baby,
14:36but apparently I've got to look after him.
14:38It's part of the podcast,
14:39and it's like crying every time I put it down.
14:41Hey, listen, just start singing.
14:44Just a nice light soft.
14:45I like your eyes and I like your toes.
14:49I like your fingers and I like your nose.
14:53You've got to...
14:54OK, buddy, stop you right there.
14:55That's why the baby's crying.
14:57I'm on the roof.
14:58Hey, no more singing.
15:00OK, I'll see you soon.
15:01Thanks again.
15:02Bye, buddy.
15:04Please.
15:10Come on.
15:13Come on in.
15:17Who's this?
15:18Get out of here.
15:19This is Swindon.
15:20Swindon?
15:20Pass Swindon over here.
15:21Here's Swindon.
15:22Come here.
15:22Gentle, gentle.
15:23Oh, what's the head?
15:25Hey, always got the head, bro.
15:27Do you know what your kids need to do?
15:28See that?
15:29No more cries.
15:30That's how it's done, bro.
15:32Oh, my God.
15:34See, look, the baby's good now.
15:36I think he's scared about the responsibility.
15:38He's been able to do what he wants whenever, you know?
15:41And just, like, be a Peter Pan.
15:44Be a lost boy.
15:45He's no longer either of those.
15:50The burping is key, guys.
15:51So then you...
15:52So here, and just a little bit of burping.
15:55Make sure you hold their neck.
15:56OK, and then you make them burp.
15:57How do you know when they burp?
15:58Because otherwise what happens is they start getting bad reflux.
16:01Oh, my God.
16:02It's endless.
16:03It's glorious right here.
16:05Here, buddy.
16:06Keep that feeling, guy.
16:09Let's go.
16:09Let's go.
16:10Hold the neck.
16:11Hold the neck like that.
16:13How do I hold the neck?
16:14Yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:14There are so many things that I had no clue about.
16:16We fed the baby.
16:18What have you not done now?
16:19The baby's...
16:19I checked.
16:20You can't sleep.
16:21The crying didn't stop.
16:23I think you've got to soothe the baby.
16:24I think the baby's overtired.
16:26Sleep, my boy.
16:27That's it.
16:28The bum taps.
16:30Hang on.
16:30I'm going to get some more milk.
16:31I need some more milk.
16:32Oh, whoa, he's doing the head.
16:34Shit.
16:34Don't ever do that.
16:35You've got to always support the neck.
16:39Yeah, there you go.
16:40Nice.
16:42How does it feel?
16:43It feels relentless.
16:47Should we go and get a drink?
16:48Dude, I think that's a great idea.
16:49It's hard to say what he's going to be like.
16:51And I'm pretty sure he's going to call me pretty much every other day
16:53being like, buddy, I'm so tired.
16:55He'll just be like, dude, how did you do this?
16:59There you go.
16:59I've got a lot to learn before becoming a dad.
17:02Demo could quite easily roll off.
17:04No, demo's totally chill.
17:05Are you cool with that?
17:06Mm-hmm.
17:09Okay.
17:15How are you feeling?
17:16Well, right this moment.
17:18Yes, right this moment.
17:19Hot and ready to give birth, I am.
17:22But we've still got so much to do.
17:24We haven't got a pram.
17:25We haven't got a nursery.
17:25We haven't got a col.
17:26Do you know the amount of stuff you have to get?
17:35So this is the three-in-one kind of high chair.
17:38Amazing.
17:38We need to get a sterilizer.
17:40I want to get the cat, the mobile.
17:42I want to buy this.
17:43Just the toy?
17:45Maybe I'll get some more baby clothes.
17:47Yeah?
17:48All right.
17:48We've got to get that.
17:49This is adorable.
17:50Oh, my God.
17:50And this.
17:52And that, surely.
17:53See what that's where I'll get that too.
17:56I need to get in one of those prams.
17:57I'm exhausted.
17:59Jamie has not organised any baby stuff.
18:02That is just not true.
18:04He bought him a teddy bear.
18:05No, I bought it.
18:06I paid for it.
18:07Out of our joint account.
18:09Well done.
18:10Honey, I'm just...
18:11OK.
18:12Just going to pack up the pram for you.
18:15Hang on a second.
18:16Just wait there.
18:18I reckon...
18:19Nope.
18:20Not that either.
18:21Just wait.
18:22Wait a second.
18:27Have you ever tried to put up a pram?
18:30It is impossible.
18:32It is impossible.
18:34Pull the lever and then you lift.
18:35OK, so...
18:36Oh, we're going to have lunch now, Soph.
18:38Perfect.
18:39Sorry.
18:39Watch out for the baby.
18:41I don't think he has a clue what anything is, how anything works.
18:44You're making me sound like a bad dad.
18:48Wow.
18:48Do not.
18:50When can...
18:50Wow.
18:51Some would say.
18:52Gunny!
18:52Don't say that.
18:55We've got so much stuff, it's crazy.
18:57Whenever you're ready, you can tap your card, please.
19:00Thank you so much.
19:01You're the best.
19:02Have a lovely day.
19:02You're incredible.
19:12Tally, I need your mum advice.
19:14Can you please come out for a coffee?
19:18I just feel really unprepared.
19:20I feel like we don't have anything.
19:22Do you want me to send you a list?
19:23I got sent one that had 40,000 things on it and I honestly almost vomited.
19:27A at, like, the expense and B at, like, where the fuck is all this shit gonna go?
19:32Tally is one of my great, great friends.
19:36She's, like, so charismatic.
19:38She's so funny.
19:40So confident.
19:42I would say, like, she's like an alpha female.
19:45So the thing is, you get pregnant, you're fucking tired, you vomit, you feel like shit,
19:51you're exhausted, your husband's pissing you off.
19:54It is a rollercoaster.
19:56It's overwhelming.
19:57No, it's really overwhelming.
19:58And, like, all the different brass pumps.
19:59If you've got, like, really lovely, like, little tits, you can get the Elvie one that you stick on.
20:05Honestly, I think it would have been, like, down here.
20:06Yeah, mine's quite like that.
20:08Down there.
20:08It's like, they're quite like, oh, you just pop it on under your bra and I was like, no chance.
20:12It's like, like the noise.
20:16It's so loud.
20:17My one piece of advice for Jamie would be that Mummy is always right.
20:22So, Sophie is always right.
20:25And you can't go wrong.
20:27Do you want to have a look at the nursery?
20:29How's it going?
20:30Is it nearly done?
20:30There's nothing.
20:31What?
20:32Oh, well, I saw it last time.
20:33Is it the same?
20:34It's got, like, um, no, we've done wallpaper.
20:39And that's all we've got so far.
20:41You can put the Moses basket in there.
20:43So, Moses basket is a really important thing, though.
20:47That's really important.
20:48So, the nursery is going to have blue and white gingham wallpaper.
20:52And then, like, a nice cot and a nice rug and some curtains.
20:57This probably goes down and then you take the side off and then you can get a little single bed
21:01in here.
21:03I'm so excited.
21:04It's, like, my most excited I've ever been to do a room in the house.
21:07And I'm investing money into it.
21:10But Jamie doesn't know what's happening.
21:14I think he's going to love it.
21:16And, like, you know, he's not really...
21:18I mean, I'm just taking control and, like, he won't even see an invoice.
21:23So, he's not really going to know how much it's got.
21:28Are you fucking kidding me?
21:30This is nuts!
21:31The cost that I've got through here for a nursery, £9,361.
21:38Why is the nursery so expensive?
21:41Four velour sail blinds.
21:43What the fuck is that?
21:45My kid got a four-post of bed.
21:48Like, what is going on?
21:50Is Sophie, like, saying yes to all these costs?
21:53Sophie's being sneaky.
21:55Sophie said, we've got this budget of £4,000 for the nursery.
21:58And I went, OK, sure.
22:00So then I articulated that to everyone.
22:03And now she wants to change it.
22:12I'm so angry.
22:15Jamie cancelled at my beautiful nursery.
22:18It's the lack of communication that I'm just really not OK with.
22:21Oof!
22:22I wouldn't want to come near me at the moment.
22:24I found out today that you have called the interior designers
22:29and taken out, like, all of our curtains.
22:31Basically, you've left it with a room with a cotton.
22:33Without telling me.
22:35I'm saving money. That's what I'm doing.
22:37But tell me.
22:38What do you think I am?
22:39I just put all my money in but don't have a say on what's going on.
22:42Call me up and say, Sophie, I'm going to save money.
22:45Like, can we not have the blinds?
22:47Like, I think those shutters are fine.
22:49I'd be like, probably still no, but we can talk about it.
22:54But you just go behind my back and do it.
22:56Like, that's so unacceptable.
22:58Like, that's what you do the whole time.
22:59I wouldn't be surprised if you did something like that.
23:00Sophie, I'm like a dog, right?
23:02You just tell me to do something, I do it.
23:03You told me to sort the nursery out, so I sorted the nursery out.
23:06I didn't tell you to sort the nursery out.
23:07You did.
23:07You said sort the nursery.
23:09No, I fucking didn't.
23:12I feel like it's, like, straight to blame.
23:14It's like...
23:14It's like as if I'm doing it on purpose.
23:17Well, you are.
23:17Of course I'm not doing it on purpose.
23:18I'm not communicating on purpose.
23:21Yeah, you are.
23:22You choose in that moment.
23:23You're not stupid.
23:24You choose in that moment to take the easier option out.
23:27The selfish option, which is like,
23:28I can't be bothered to fucking tell her,
23:30so I'm just not going to tell her.
23:31So, come on.
23:32Like, like, I'm not being selfish.
23:34I'm juggling everything.
23:36Like, everything.
23:37I'm stressed.
23:38I'm tired.
23:41Okay?
23:47He can't be bothered to communicate to me,
23:49because he's so exhausted that he...
23:52I'm not a priority.
23:53He's just like...
23:54Like, it'd be easier to just, like, not tell her,
23:57because it's one less conversation to have.
24:00Which is just not...
24:02It's fucking annoying, really.
24:07It just makes you feel, like, really little,
24:10like, really disrespected,
24:11because it feels like, again,
24:13everyone just listens to Jamie,
24:15and then my opinion doesn't matter.
24:23Why are you walking out like you're about to get into a boxing ring?
24:27Can I get into the bed?
24:28Mm-hmm.
24:29You can do that?
24:36Look, if I don't communicate, I'm sorry.
24:38All right?
24:40Yeah, but you just have to stop now,
24:41because it's really annoying,
24:43and then it makes me not trust you,
24:45and then if you don't trust...
24:46You can't, like, not trust me.
24:49Why not?
24:50Because that's, like, such a...
24:52Yeah, but I...
24:52The little things matter, like...
24:55All right.
24:55I would say 90% of our fights are about finding out something
25:00that he hasn't communicated to me.
25:03It's really hard, because Jamie speaks for a living,
25:06and he's so open and honest on these podcasts, on radio,
25:09or in the press, on an interview,
25:12and I feel like he doesn't do that with the people closest to him.
25:18When he can't talk, it's, like, a really weird place for me to be in,
25:22and I don't really know how to react,
25:23but I have to just sort of...
25:26try and make him feel like he can trust me
25:28and communicate and be vulnerable with me.
25:42There's something that's been weighing off your mind...
25:45Uh-oh.
25:46What?
25:47A little bit spat over here.
25:49Not the oil on the marble.
25:50Oh, my God.
25:50The one thing you went on to do.
25:52You're like Monica from Friends.
25:53I know.
25:54It's absolutely mad.
25:55Why did we get marble?
25:57Oh, my God.
25:58Yeah, I think I've also burned this. Whoopsie.
26:00I think that I'm not making...
26:02I don't know why I feel like I'm not making it easy for us at times.
26:06Well, no, but sometimes you don't,
26:08and that's what we need to talk about,
26:10because it makes me so frustrated.
26:12I'm like, why are you shutting me out?
26:13But actually, what I'm learning is, like,
26:14I actually don't think you're shutting me out.
26:16I generally just don't think you know how you're feeling.
26:17Yeah, I don't think I know how I'm feeling.
26:19So, what do you feel?
26:20Talk about it.
26:21OK, here we go.
26:22OK.
26:22I'm becoming a dad for the first time.
26:24Yeah.
26:24And I want to be the best dad in the entire world.
26:26I want to be the best husband I can possibly be.
26:29And I kind of think that I'm failing at that in the moment,
26:31if I'm really honest.
26:32What?
26:32Why would you be failing?
26:34You know, I just feel a sense of responsibility
26:36to make sure that our future is OK, and...
26:39But also, I think, like, work is a lot for you and everything.
26:43Work is a lot, yeah.
26:44I think I basically have just, like, my emotions are, like, up to here.
26:47The reason why I can't really talk about it
26:49is because I get this lump in my throat every single time I do.
26:51So, my...
26:51You should cry.
26:52Why don't you just cry with me?
26:54I cry all the time.
26:55Well, no, because I don't think it'll be a good thing.
26:57But what's your book called?
26:58Boys Don't Cry.
27:00So, who's preaching and not listening to what their own advice is?
27:04Like, you say that it's, like, strong to be...
27:07It's brave to be vulnerable.
27:09Do you feel lonely?
27:10Do you feel sad?
27:12Do you feel...
27:12A little bit lonely.
27:13No.
27:15Why do you feel lonely?
27:16I don't know.
27:16Oh, God.
27:17Oh, no, no.
27:18We've opened the floodgates.
27:20We're getting somewhere.
27:21This is great.
27:22Yeah, I think...
27:22I want to hug you, but I can't because this is going to spit
27:25and oil's going to go everywhere.
27:27Jamie, this is so good.
27:30Let those tears roll.
27:32Maybe a bit lonely, yeah.
27:34And why do you think you feel lonely?
27:38Um, well, I think, um...
27:44Probably, I don't know, a bit lonely because, um...
27:48I don't really talk to anyone about struggling with, like,
27:52the idea of parenthood because I just...
27:54So you feel a bit lonely in that sense, and then, you know,
27:58that's...
27:58So, yeah.
27:59Firstly, you are going to be such a good dad.
28:01Like, what are you even worried about?
28:04Like, you're going to be amazing.
28:05You're...
28:05You are, without a doubt, the most loving human being
28:09I've ever met in my whole entire life.
28:10I feel like I ruin all of our moments for us.
28:13You don't ruin anything!
28:15I do, I feel that way.
28:16I'm leaving the state.
28:16I just don't want you to look back and regret everything.
28:18I never regret anything.
28:20Okay, great.
28:20Well, that's fine, then.
28:21Okay, good.
28:22But you keep crying because it's good for you.
28:28Love you.
28:29I love you so much.
28:32It makes me feel so proud, but I feel so sad
28:35because I see, like, a little boy that's never been able
28:38to show their emotions, and he's like...
28:40It's so hard for him to cry.
28:42Like, I cry all day, every day.
28:44You clearly are still struggling with them opening up your emotions.
28:49And you've written this book, which I've read, and it is so raw.
28:53Why don't you talk to your mum?
28:57I didn't realise I was covering up so much.
29:00I didn't realise I wasn't talking so much.
29:01And so that's what I've learnt, is this to be honest.
29:05Good, bad, ugly, it doesn't matter.
29:06Just be honest about everything.
29:17He's 15 minutes late.
29:20He's always late.
29:22Where is he?
29:24I'm off to see my mum, Henny, to go and play golf,
29:28which we do quite a lot together.
29:30But also, I have my book coming out,
29:32and there's lots of things in the book
29:33that I haven't spoken to her about, particularly one chapter.
29:38I wanted to speak to my mum about the W chapter,
29:41which is about weight.
29:42And I'm feeling pretty nervous about the whole thing
29:44because it's...
29:46Yeah, there's a little shame around it for whatever reason.
29:53All right, I'm going to tee off, Mumsy, are you ready?
29:55It's going to go completely straight.
29:57Ha-ha-ha!
30:03Bye-bye ball!
30:05OK, here we go, ready?
30:08Oh, good shot!
30:11Right, you watching, Jamie?
30:12I'm watching.
30:15Oh, no, it's gone right.
30:17Where am I?
30:19Where'd it go?
30:20It went straight into the bush.
30:22Don't be silly.
30:23God, how embarrassing.
30:24OK, well, I'll put one down.
30:28Oh, God, we're bad.
30:35I've also got my book coming out.
30:36I know, that comes out next week, doesn't it?
30:38Yeah, but I'm quite nervous about it.
30:40Why are you nervous?
30:42Well, I'm nervous because it's part of me
30:44which thinks perhaps I go too personal on it.
30:48In the book?
30:49Yeah.
30:49Jamie, the thing about you, your superpower is your honesty and your openness and your friendliness.
30:57Yeah.
30:57Yeah, OK.
30:58Oh, my God.
30:59That's going to work really, really well.
31:00That might go in.
31:00Oh, look at that!
31:01I don't know.
31:02It just maybe there's...
31:03Well, it's very personal, so you're exposing things.
31:05That's exactly what it is, Mama.
31:08And...
31:08But you do a lot of that anyway.
31:10Yeah, but some things I don't...
31:12I mean, you talk about things that I would never talk about.
31:15Yeah.
31:16It's easier to write stuff or talk about stuff to strangers because I don't mind as much about
31:23strangers' opinions.
31:24But when you're trying to say things to your loved ones, friends, family, it's much harder
31:30because I fear their judgment.
31:35There's a chapter in the book, right?
31:37Yeah.
31:38Which I write about weight.
31:40Weight?
31:41Weight.
31:42As in body image.
31:43You know, I struggled with weight issues.
31:46And I had an eating disorder.
31:49You went very thin at one point, but I thought it was drugs.
31:52Not with drugs.
31:55I think it's fair.
31:57I've been anxious about weight my whole bloody life, and I'm 70.
32:01Yeah, but for some reason there's like...
32:03I don't know why there's like shame around it.
32:05I think that's a good thing to bring up.
32:07People shouldn't be ashamed.
32:08Really?
32:09Yeah, yeah, yeah.
32:10Many guys will say, thank God you've highlighted it.
32:13Jamie has a really vulnerable side.
32:16So he needs to know he's loved unconditionally, regardless of how he is.
32:21And that I will never, ever not be there or let him down.
32:27I don't think it's anything that you should have any form of shame about.
32:31Really?
32:31I think your worry about the weight chapter says more about you than anyone.
32:37I really do.
32:38I mean, maybe it's something you're embarrassed of, admitting to.
32:42Yeah, yeah, yeah.
32:43My mum is quite a hard exterior, but to see her be a bit more understanding
32:47and open and caring reminds you how much your parents do care.
33:04So Jamie's about to do his test.
33:06I'm crossing my fingers.
33:08So have you been doing all the driving?
33:10Yeah, for the last six years.
33:12He was really nervous.
33:14I just don't know.
33:16Mirror.
33:16Mirror, signal, manoeuvre.
33:19I have no idea.
33:20I probably should retake my test because I can't remember.
33:22It was so long ago.
33:24Do I think Jamie's going to pass this test?
33:26I don't know.
33:27Are you?
33:28Look, truthfully, I'm 50-50.
33:30Why?
33:31Jamie, you drive at 20 miles per hour or 50 miles per hour.
33:34It's a safety hazard how slow you drive.
33:40How are you, brother?
33:41How are you, Jamie?
33:42It's the day.
33:43Good to see you again.
33:44You too, buddy.
33:45Let's do this, man.
33:48Thank you for driving me there.
33:50You got this, Jamie.
33:51Thanks, buddy.
33:52You got this, yeah.
33:52I believe in you.
33:54I'm really pretty nervous now.
33:57Imagine if I failed.
33:59It would be really bad if Jamie fails.
34:01Like, Sophie would be furious.
34:03I don't want to be there.
34:05It's vital Jamie passes his driving test.
34:08Well, he did pass and then lost his licence.
34:10That's typical Jamie, isn't it?
34:12Yeah, I think he's just...
34:13He's leaving everything last minute, which is kind of classic.
34:16I mean, why has he left that so late?
34:18He's 37.
34:19Learn to bloody drive.
34:21Good afternoon.
34:23Hey, how are you?
34:23Hiya, James Lang?
34:24Yes, it is.
34:25Hi, nice to meet you.
34:26I'm Amanda.
34:26Hello, Amanda.
34:28Can I ask you a question?
34:29Yes?
34:30Am I the oldest person you've ever tested?
34:31No, I'm afraid not.
34:32OK.
34:33The pressure is very on for me to pass my test.
34:35The most awkward thing in the world would be is if a baby is about to come, water breaks,
34:40and I'm like, oh, my God, and I have to hail a cab.
34:42So I have to pass it.
34:43If I don't pass it, then I'm not driving, which would just not feel great.
34:47Shall we see if he's on by my friends?
34:49Where is the test in?
34:50I don't know.
34:52Miles away.
34:54All right?
34:55Yes.
34:55OK.
34:56Ready?
34:56I'm ready.
34:57OK.
35:01Oh, look, he's on the move.
35:03He's just leaving the test centre now.
35:06I'm like the psycho wife.
35:08He watches his whole test on Find My Friends.
35:13He's crawling along.
35:15I don't know if he's walking or driving.
35:18I think he can definitely fail for driving too slow.
35:22OK.
35:30OK.
35:30OK, Jamie.
35:31That's the end of your test.
35:32OK, that's the end of the test.
35:34I'm pleased to say you've passed.
35:36Let's go!
35:38Let's go!
35:40Let's go!
35:40Yeah, let's go!
35:41Yeah!
35:42Thank you so much!
35:45Here he is.
35:48I've passed, baby!
35:49Yeah!
35:50Yeah!
35:51Yeah!
35:53Yay!
35:54Oh, my God!
35:54I think you're going to come and fail!
35:57Naz, let's go!
35:58We passed, baby!
35:59I told you you could do it!
36:00We passed!
36:00Let's frickin' go!
36:02Let's...
36:02We did it!
36:03I know!
36:04I told you!
36:04We did it!
36:05I told you you could do it!
36:07That's good.
36:08Still not going to let him drive us in the hospital, but it's good.
36:13Got it.
36:14Got it, baby!
36:15I'm so happy because there was a voice in my head thinking, like,
36:18he might put this off forever.
36:20And I feared that you would never grow up.
36:23And I'm very proud of you for where you are now.
36:26I have grown up.
36:27You're the man that I always wanted you to be.
36:44I don't understand why you need such a big bag to go to Paris with.
36:48For, like, literally a day.
36:50Because I'm pregnant and nothing looks good on me.
36:54We're going to go to Paris for baby moon.
36:56I'm really excited.
36:59The whale is on the moon.
37:02There's a whale sighting on the Eurostar.
37:04What?
37:10Is this as cute as anything?
37:12Do you want a little sweetie for the road?
37:14I'm really hoping I'm going to get lucky in Paris.
37:17You don't want to get lucky when you called me a unit the other day.
37:20Oh, God.
37:21Jamie.
37:22I don't think that's a lift.
37:23You're joking.
37:24No.
37:25With a fourth floor.
37:27A baby moon is like a honeymoon.
37:29You go away somewhere on a trip to relax, hug, chill, maybe have a little smoochy time with each other.
37:35There's no way you think you are.
37:39You're a strong, independent man.
37:42I believe in you.
37:43I don't think we need this bag anymore.
37:46I don't want to go to have smoochy time, but I would like to go to have some pastries, chips,
37:53frites.
37:54I know I really want to have the quality time together.
37:57Off the phone.
37:59We made it.
38:00There's a lift.
38:08You're a jerk.
38:10This is lovely.
38:12It's all I have to do.
38:13I'm not even joking.
38:17That is sexy.
38:18Do you know what I do?
38:20Oh, well, of course, I've been bound for that.
38:23A little bit harder than I thought.
38:26Most romantic anniversary, without a doubt.
38:29100%.
38:30I know.
38:31It's sad.
38:32He is the most romantic, but I'm romantic in so many other ways.
38:35Like what?
38:36Well, I made you a chicken pie for your birthday.
38:39Look at the tower.
38:40The Eiffel Tower.
38:41Look at this fridge.
38:43Hey, Zig, sir.
38:44We're looking at the Eiffel Tower right now, my boy.
38:48I've got to do these emails.
38:49Why are you on your phone?
38:50We're on the bloody set.
38:51All right.
38:52Well, then, there we go.
38:53See ya.
39:03I'm kind of regretting it now.
39:05Got all our tickets on it.
39:09And all my credit cards.
39:13No way.
39:14Yeah, I did.
39:15You're more important than some mobile phone.
39:22We've been together for six years, and we get on so well.
39:26We laugh every day.
39:27Like we're just like best friends.
39:29But Jamie, Jamie needs a lot of affection.
39:32He's like a needy little person.
39:36And it's taken me probably six years to realise that.
39:40I have a present for you.
39:43I've got something gritting for you.
39:45OK, really.
39:46To my love.
39:46I want to thank you for everything you've done for me.
39:50You refilled my Stanley cup and have learnt how to make my tea.
39:54The way you've read up on pregnancy is just so sweet.
39:58You'd do anything for me, and you haven't missed a beat.
40:00You have the most love to give out of anyone on this earth.
40:05I know you'll love our son fiercely every moment proper.
40:12I know you'll embrace this next chapter side by side.
40:15Doing life with you just makes me buzz with pride.
40:19How lucky I am that you fill our life with laughter.
40:23And then I get to have you as my happily ever after.
40:27I thought a poem would be really nice
40:29because he has been amazing throughout my pregnancy.
40:33And he is going to be the best dad, and he worries about that.
40:37And I wanted to give him something to be like,
40:39you are great and I really appreciate you.
40:41Because it's been a lot about me the last nine months.
40:45Oh, my God, that really got me.
40:47You could have done it at the hotel room.
40:49Wow, that really brought out some water.
40:52Out of nowhere.
40:54I love you so much.
40:55It surprised me so much how much the poem hit me.
40:58So thoughtful.
41:00Embarrassing because it was like Noah's Ark.
41:02I was crying so much.
41:03But it was just so beautiful and so amazing and so thoughtful.
41:06And just, yeah, just that.
41:08I think that's my love language.
41:10I don't know what love language that is.
41:13You can't cry because you're Botox.
41:14It's weird when you cry.
41:17I don't have a Botox.
41:25Right, what I want to do is I want to eat my body weight in mints.
41:29Can I?
41:30Just to add to, like, the bunda.
41:33When I found out I was pregnant, I was so nervous because everything just felt so uncertain.
41:39It's such a change.
41:40Like, suddenly you're pregnant.
41:42Your body's gonna change.
41:42Your life's gonna change.
41:43You're gonna have a baby.
41:44And then career.
41:45And I just kept thinking, oh, everything's gonna go.
41:47And now, as I've just settled into it, the excitement of having this baby and just being a mum and
41:53the love I feel.
41:55I'm like, everything's gonna be okay.
42:03It's imminent.
42:04Oh!
42:05Team update, her waters are broken.
42:08This is not what we're ready for.
42:09And obviously, Sophie is very upset and nervous.
42:14Hear that sound?
42:18Oh, my baby's had a baby.
42:21Oh, my God.
42:23It's actually gone everywhere.
42:25Do you love him more than me?
42:27Yeah.
42:28Yeah.
42:30Yeah.
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