- 8 hours ago
The Bad Guys The Series S02E04
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00:21I must have heard you wrong, Ma.
00:23Because it sounded like you said you were getting married.
00:27That's right. Tomorrow.
00:30Look, if this is some kind of trick to get me to rush over there, it's not gonna work.
00:34Oh, I don't have time for this. I've got a wedding to plan.
00:39We gotta get over there.
00:41Step on it, Piranha!
00:42Don't worry, Snake. I'll get you to your Mars in no time.
00:48She's worried. There's no way the maven of making it on her own is actually getting married.
00:54Ooh, I bet she's pulling a crime of passion. The most dramatic of all crimes.
00:58Not likely. That would involve emotions, which my ma doesn't have.
01:05Whatever's going on, Snake, we'll get to the bottom of it as a team.
01:21All right, Ma, what are you up to?
01:24You're not really getting married, are you?
01:25Of course I am. Is that so hard to believe?
01:29Yep, complete.
01:30Uh-huh. Yes. But only because no mere mortal could be worthy of you.
01:34Well, then, there's someone special I'd like you to meet.
01:42Whew! I'd let it air out for a few hours. Maybe a day to be safe.
01:47Mr. Wigglesworth?
01:48Eh, no way!
01:49Hey!
01:55Ha-ha!
01:56Aah!
01:57Aah!
02:00Oh, my God.
02:27I've gotten that no-good magician.
02:29Hey, I deserve first dibs.
02:31Better save some for me.
02:33Oh, guys.
02:37Uh, well, where'd he go?
02:40This is quite the spirited greeting
02:42from my former roomies and future family.
02:51What's gotten into you?
02:53You're not upset I'm getting married, are you?
02:57What do I care what you do with your miserable life?
03:00Well, that's just it.
03:01Since meeting Wigglesworth, I'm, well, I'm happy.
03:10My entire childhood, you told me emotions make a crook weak,
03:14and now you go and find happiness with him?
03:20He's the worst, Ma.
03:21He conned us out of money
03:23and sent us on a one-way ticket to prison.
03:26I'm only hearing good things.
03:33Snake, if you can't be happy for your dear mother,
03:39I'll have to ask you to leave.
03:44Not only can I not be happy for her,
03:47I'm gonna find a way to steal her happiness.
03:51I've been itching to pay Wigglesworth back
03:53for sticking up my room.
03:54Even moving layers didn't get the smell out.
03:56This could be a real two-birds-one-con situation.
03:59Guys, I feel a crime of passing coming home.
04:02Let's break up a wedding.
04:04It does hurt me to see a queen like Serpentina
04:06with a three of duds like Wigglesworth.
04:09Hey, it can't be a wedding if there's no Wigglesworth.
04:12Go on.
04:14You know how he tried to get us arrested?
04:16Maybe it's time to return the favor.
04:20Hey, I'm sorry for being so small and petty earlier.
04:25I'm glad you're joining the family.
04:28You are?
04:29Of course.
04:31You know, we need to pull a heist together
04:33if we're gonna do this shindig right.
04:35After all, it's a crime world tradition
04:38to throw the groom-to-be a burglaret party.
04:42Hey, that's right.
04:44Why don't we go down to Gemstone Row
04:45and cause some trouble?
04:47That's a stupendous idea.
04:49I happen to be in need of a ring.
04:51Oh.
04:54Whoa.
05:01We're stealing in broad daylight?
05:04Wigglesworth, relax.
05:06This place is closed for lunch
05:07and Webb's loaded up the guards' phones
05:09with coupons for extra big burritos.
05:12Don't you worry, Wiggles.
05:14We got this because we're family.
05:18Security systems disabled.
05:20Go, go, go.
05:24Oh, man.
05:26I can't fit.
05:27You have to go it alone.
05:29I've been in cabinets tighter than this.
05:32Vent team in position.
05:34All clear.
05:35Send them in.
05:44The magician has landed.
05:47Wigglesworth, take your time
05:48and find that perfect ring.
05:51We'll, uh, we'll keep lookout.
05:53Good thing, too.
05:55I'm tremendously slow and clumsy in my old age.
05:58I'm practically a sitting duck.
06:03Hit it.
06:06Hello?
06:07A no-good bandit is stealing on Gemstone Row.
06:10Uh-huh.
06:11Uh-huh.
06:12Send in your most hardcore players.
06:14And remember, show no mercy.
06:17Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
06:29Ma, I got bad news.
06:32On our heist, well, Mr. Wigglesworth...
06:39Wiggle-wazzam!
06:41How did you get...
06:42Ho-ho!
06:43An escape artist never reveals his tricks.
06:46My love, you should have seen us.
06:48We rolled, we waggled, we...
06:50Worked as a team, nay, as a family.
06:52Come here, you repugnant rascal.
07:04Say, you guys did a really bad job of keeping lookout.
07:08No warning whatsoever.
07:09It's like you were trying to get rid of me.
07:12Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
07:14Is it any surprise that Wolf came up with a terrible plan?
07:18Do the bad guys even pull heists anymore?
07:21From what I hear, you're too busy planning birthday parties and getting chummy with guards and competing not to do
07:28crimes.
07:30Sad, really.
07:31How do you know about all that?
07:32She does read my newsletters.
07:35Wigglypoo, tomorrow you're going to make me the happiest criminal goddess in history.
07:41Heistory!
07:42Missed it.
07:44Okay, this is going to be harder than we thought.
07:47We need a new plan.
07:49A plan which I am perfectly capable of making.
07:55Sorry, Serpentine had got my head.
07:57Well, we better think of something.
07:58My ma's the reason I'm this miserable, so no way I'm going to let her find happiness.
08:02Fear not!
08:04Well, I am the student of the crime of passion.
08:08There are five pillars.
08:10Extreme estrangement.
08:11Tantalizing temptation.
08:13Wrongful whispers.
08:15Star crossing.
08:16And if all else fails,
08:18scandal.
08:19We already tried the first one, so next up is temptation.
08:23So, snake and shark, you do that.
08:25Webs, you, you, uh, um...
08:28Shout poison Serpentina against Wigglesworth with the power of...
08:31Wrongful whispers.
08:33Got it.
08:34If I can't convince her that she deserves better than that weak old lasagna Wigglesworth,
08:38then I'll make sure she has the wedding she deserves.
08:41What?
08:41No!
08:42We're here to steal happiness, remember?
08:45Piranha, stay with webs.
08:46Don't let Serpentina get to her.
08:48You can count on me.
08:49I'm immune to mind games.
08:51Unless you're playing one right now?
08:54Get out of my head, bro!
08:55I'm gonna head to the lair to get some loot.
08:57Wigglesworth is a mooch.
08:59Maybe we can buy them off.
09:01Let's go destroy a happy couple.
09:06See that?
09:07Still got it.
09:08You're no match for me, the big man.
09:11Huh?
09:13Uh-oh.
09:15It's locked.
09:16Guys!
09:17Guys!
09:19No, no!
09:24Ma, I'm taking Wigglesworth out for, uh, father-son bonding time?
09:31Oh, yeah.
09:33That.
09:34Ha-ha!
09:40Oh, Serpentina.
09:42It's so admirable that you aren't marrying for looks,
09:44because, uh, Wigglesworth,
09:46dude looks like vomit smells.
09:48I know what you're trying to do.
09:50You want me to break up with Wigglypoo.
09:54Instead, maybe you two could be in my...
09:57wedding party.
09:59Yes!
10:00No one can honor you like I can!
10:02Webs!
10:03No!
10:03She's getting to you!
10:04This is exactly what Wolf said not to do!
10:06Me?
10:07Get in your brilliant brain?
10:10Oh, I could never.
10:11Wait, really?
10:12Wolf doesn't give you enough credit.
10:17That's right!
10:18I'm no pushover!
10:19Team Serpentina!
10:20So it's decided!
10:22Patricia, you'll be my ring-bearer.
10:24You can count on Patricia!
10:31Uh-oh.
10:33Be right back.
10:34You, needy crab.
10:36Plan my wedding on that electric typewriter of yours.
10:39Now, let's see.
10:39I'll have to have the wedding march for when I slither down the aisle.
10:44No doubt.
10:45Performed by the composer, of course.
10:48Um, Felix Mendelson died in 1847.
10:51Well, if you're not up to the job.
10:54Give me five minutes!
10:57Son, the most important piece of fatherly wisdom I can impart to you is this.
11:01The five-second rule is a lie created by Big Refrigerator.
11:05I keep all my food on the ground at room temperature.
11:08Floor, Sammy?
11:10Hard pass.
11:12I mean, thanks, Dad.
11:15Oh, help!
11:17Magician's emergency!
11:19I'm a magician!
11:20My heart medication is stuck in a vending machine, and I need a quarter right now!
11:25You mean like this?
11:27Wiggle-wazam!
11:29My good man, you've passed my test.
11:32For you see, I've walked a gumbo.
11:35Talent scout for the all-oceans and some seas magician's cruise line.
11:39And we would like to offer you the last spot on our roster.
11:45The A-O-S-S-M-C?
11:47Everything's coming up Wigglesworth lately!
11:50But we set sail tonight, and can only offer room and board for a single performer.
11:55No wives to be allowed.
11:58That's one tempting offer, huh?
12:02Look, you gotta pursue your magic career.
12:04I'm sure Ma will understand.
12:13I... I can't.
12:16Huh?
12:16I'm sorry, Mr. Gumbo.
12:18As tempting as it is, my beloved is more important than my career.
12:24Well, temptation may have failed, but Star Crossing is guaranteed to work.
12:29Meet me by the grocery store in 20 minutes.
12:31Except it won't be me, for I shall be in disguise.
12:47My phone's got no service.
12:49My comms don't work.
12:50And no matter how much I yell, no one can hear me!
12:57I...
12:58Maybe Serpentine is right.
13:00Maybe I've lost a step.
13:07Oh, this takes me back.
13:09DB, my mentor, he used to love these.
13:13If he saw me now, he'd tell me to stab my belly aching and get off the floor.
13:21Huh.
13:23Is he talking to a toy bird?
13:27Okay.
13:28I hacked a bioengineering lab to extract DNA from a stolen specimen of the late great...
13:33Is this story going somewhere?
13:35You're right.
13:36I don't need to bore you with the details,
13:38but rest assured that a fully reanimated Felix Mendelssohn will be performing at your wedding.
13:42Oh, that.
13:43On second thought, I want the focus to be on me.
13:47I shall slither to my beloved in total silence.
13:52Of course.
13:53Why didn't I think of that?
13:55Mendelssohn's clone can ruin someone else's wedding.
13:58Now, let's talk color scheme.
14:00I want everything to be the exact color of the sky on the day of my first steal.
14:08Look at me, loitering outside a grocery store for no reason with my son-to-be.
14:13And here I thought I'd never accomplish any of my goals in life.
14:16To get married and start a family, perform the tightrope tower escape.
14:20The what now?
14:21The tightrope tower escape is the holy grail for escape artists.
14:25A dangerous trick that no magician has ever successfully pulled off.
14:30You don't say.
14:32Hey, Dad.
14:33Dad, you've achieved two of your goals.
14:36You've got a goal for number three, hmm?
14:39It's too dangerous.
14:41I've got a family to think about now.
14:43Ooh, you there, Mr. Wigglesworth.
14:46How did you know my name?
14:48The spirits tell me everything, and they have a message for you.
14:54Is that a coffee pot?
14:55Wolf cut my prop budget.
14:57Remember, now, let's see into the bubbling beams of truth.
15:01Oh, I see a great love.
15:04Oh, a wedding.
15:05Oh, things will end in disaster.
15:08A tragedy.
15:10And oh, oh my, 100 years of doom for your beloved.
15:15No!
15:17Boy, talk about star-crossed lovers.
15:19Well, I guess you've got to call off the wedding.
15:27Please, please, please, please, please.
15:30It's working.
15:32Is that Wolf?
15:33Pick up.
15:34I need the advice of my bros.
15:36Snake!
15:37Thank goodness.
15:37Listen.
15:38What?
15:38Wolf, your reception's terrible.
15:40Help me.
15:40I'm stuck.
15:41Oh, me too.
15:42I'm stuck between the love of my life and the advice of a single origin psychic.
15:46What?
15:46No, no, no, no, no.
15:47We need a stronger cell connection.
15:49We need connection.
15:50You're right, Wolf.
15:52We do all need connection.
15:53And that's what I have with Serpentina.
15:55Forget what this psychic thinks.
15:57Wolf, you lousy bum.
15:59Snake, I'm stuck in the office.
16:01Snake, snake.
16:02No, no, no.
16:04Whoa!
16:05No, no, no, no!
16:08Wolf blew it.
16:09The mutt.
16:10There's only one crime of passion pillar left.
16:15Scandal.
16:16And I know just what to do.
16:25And then I want ghost orchids for the centerpieces.
16:28They're impossible to find.
16:30But not for you, I'm sure.
16:38What are you supposed to be?
16:41Ah, honestly, I don't even know anymore.
16:43I may have bitten off more than I could chew, which is a first.
16:45Say cheese.
16:48Two coffees for father and son.
16:55Oh, Mr. Mr. Wigglesworth.
17:00I'm Gene.
17:01Gene from our show, yes.
17:02Private Eye.
17:03I have scandalous news.
17:05Here.
17:08Serpentina.
17:09Being wowed by another magician's card tricks?
17:12But that was our thing.
17:14Yep, that's ma.
17:15She'll let anyone do tricks for her.
17:19Of course, weak old lasagna like me could never be worthy of her.
17:24I'll just have to show her that this old noodle's still capable of something spectacular.
17:28Huh?
17:29I know how much she needed this father-son bonding.
17:31But I have something I must do.
17:34What just happened?
17:35I needed that.
17:39Ah!
17:42Ah.
17:45Oh!
17:47Mr. Wigglesworth called and said the wedding is off because he's not worthy.
17:51He's going to do some kind of tower walk instead.
17:54Does he know how hard we've been working on this wedding?
17:59Yeah!
18:00Boy, ma, I am so...
18:03So sorry to hear that terrific, I mean terrible news, ma.
18:13Is that a tear?
18:15But you never cry.
18:17What possibly could have changed his mind to hurt me so?
18:21Oh!
18:23Come on, Ring.
18:24Where are you?
18:26I'm going to get out of this office.
18:27I'm going to prove Serpentina wrong.
18:30I'm the big bad wolf.
18:37What'd I miss?
18:38This is Tiffany Fluffet with breaking news.
18:41The magnificent Mr. Wigglesworth is about to attempt the tightrope tower escape.
18:46A one-of-a-kind trick that's never been successfully completed.
18:50I'm no other person, but I predict it's going to rain magicians any second now.
18:57I can't bear to look.
18:59My poor Wigglypoo.
19:01Ma, I'm going to fix this.
19:03We're going to fix this.
19:04Right, guys?
19:05Yeah!
19:05You bet.
19:06We got your back.
19:07We just need a way up there.
19:09Plungers!
19:09Get your plungers here.
19:11Extra section-y for those extra big messes.
19:27God, this guy's toast.
19:29Wow, look how high he is!
19:33Come on, guys, step on it.
19:35Punch it as fast as I can here.
19:37What's getting into you, man?
19:38Nothing.
19:39Seeing my mother cry hasn't rocked me to my core.
19:42At all.
19:49Ah-ha.
19:51Now, time to carefully osu- carefully...
20:01Wigglesworth, hold on!
20:02Son, is that you?
20:04It's Snake.
20:05And you don't have to do this stupid stunt.
20:07I set you up.
20:09It wasn't personal.
20:10Well, it was, because I don't like you.
20:12But my ma does.
20:13And as much as it pains me to say it,
20:15I want her to be...
20:17...ha-ha-happy.
20:19And that involves you being alive.
20:21A little late for that.
20:22Ah!
20:24Ah!
20:25Ah!
20:26Ah!
20:29Yeah!
20:30Son!
20:31You saved me!
20:35Yes, we should head back down now that Wigglesworth's trick failed.
20:38Wait a minute.
20:39Who says the trick wasn't a success?
20:48Wiggle-wazam!
20:50Whoa!
20:51Folks, it appears that the amazing Mr. Wigglesworth has just completed the first-ever tightrope tower escape,
20:58setting a new standard for unnecessary aerial tricks.
21:13Ha-ha!
21:14Ha-ha!
21:14Mr. Wigglesworth, I'm Walter Gumbo, international talent scout for the all-oceans and some-sees magician's cruise line.
21:21Let's talk turkey!
21:25What do you mean you need more time?
21:27I've kept these bozos out of the lair all day.
21:30Ma, who are you talking to?
21:33Was I on the phone?
21:34I'm so emotional, I forget!
21:38And just what do we have here?
21:40Eye drops!
21:41Ma never cries!
21:42I knew it!
21:43Of course I don't cry.
21:45You think a crook like myself would be caught dead with salty-weakness water spilling out my eye-holes?
21:53Wait, you were never getting married, were you?
21:55Webs, can you find out who she called?
21:57Way ahead of you, Wolfie.
21:58I've already back-traced the location of the caller to...
22:01Our lair?
22:02Ooh!
22:04You faked this whole engagement to get us out of the lair?
22:06Ma, I wanted to steal your happiness.
22:09But that's not possible, because you're a miserable, no-good backstabber.
22:12I'm only hearing good things.
22:15Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
22:19Ha, ha, ha, ha!
22:34DB.
22:35Is that you?
22:38Hey, hey.
22:39Kiddo.
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