- 2 days ago
First broadcast 4th November 2005.
Stephen Fry
Alan Davies
Rich Hall
Sean Lock
Jeremy Clarkson
Stephen Fry
Alan Davies
Rich Hall
Sean Lock
Jeremy Clarkson
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening, and welcome to QI for another thoughtful rummage through the
00:06great laundry basket of life.
00:08Who knows what mismatched and shrunken oddities we will happen upon tonight.
00:13Delving alongside me this evening are Alan Davis.
00:19Rich Hall.
00:23Sean Locke.
00:26And Jeremy Clarkson.
00:32Now, tonight's questions are completely barking, so we have buzzers to match.
00:36Sean goes.
00:39And Jeremy goes.
00:43Rich goes.
00:46And Alan goes.
00:54And we start tonight with Alan's favourite subject, actually, which is the ancient Greeks.
00:59Well, the Greeks joined up the dots of the night sky into vast imaginary figures, rather like this.
01:06In tonight's constellation competition panel.
01:10That is, no, at no point does it resemble the scales in any way.
01:17So there we have a famous constellation, Libra, one of the zodiac constellations, as I'm sure you know.
01:22Your challenge, team, is to make a constellation.
01:28And you have to join them together, using your skill and judgment, throughout the joyous half hour that lies before
01:35us, like a desert stretching into infinity.
01:37You have a silver pen.
01:40My pen's run out.
01:44My goodness, me, the nation's going to be on tenterholes.
01:47Well, so, Jeremy, how long would it take you to drive to outer space?
01:55Outer space?
01:56Yes, outer space.
01:57What is officially outer space?
01:59That's, uh, 23 minutes.
02:06Is outer space outer, as in from Earth, or is it from the sun?
02:10No, from it.
02:11It's just from us, and it's just above where I am.
02:14If you're tall, I'm nearly at the edge.
02:16No, no.
02:17Well, it's 600 miles.
02:19It's actually...
02:20To the top of the ionosphere.
02:24And that's widely considered to be the start of space, but whether that's considered to be outer space, I don't
02:29know.
02:29Are you counting that as outer space?
02:30No, outer space begins according to the Federation International des Spaces, or something.
02:35Who are French?
02:36Yes, it's right.
02:37It's actually only 62 miles to outer space.
02:40No, it isn't.
02:40Straight up.
02:41No, it isn't.
02:42Oh, okay.
02:45You want to depend on the traffic.
02:4962 miles is what you're saying is outer space.
02:52Did you know there was a man called Joe Kittinger who once jumped out of a hot air balloon at
02:56that height?
02:571961?
02:58Oh, dead Joe Kittinger.
02:59No, he's not.
03:02Very bad.
03:03Dead.
03:04Wow.
03:07Just flag up one small thing.
03:09Go on.
03:10There isn't actually any sort of road system.
03:15Well, I've often wondered, why could you not, if it's only 62 miles to what people call space, why can't
03:22you just build a ladder?
03:23I mean, it can't be beyond the width of man to build a ladder that just goes straight, and then
03:27you could walk up it, save a lot of bother.
03:29Yes.
03:30An oxygen pack necessary, but...
03:32Yeah, yes.
03:32Well, you've got an oxygen pack, maybe a lift.
03:34Oh, lift would be good.
03:36Once you get up there, there's nothing really there, is there?
03:38Not much.
03:39It's a bit like Norfolk, isn't it?
03:41No.
03:42You just be careful.
03:45I'll guarantee you, though, if someone in Britain asked for directions to outer space, it wouldn't be any different than
03:50asking directions to, like, the M1.
03:52You'd only listen to the first thing you say.
03:54Yes.
03:55You know, you'd say, how do I get to the M1, and you could say, uh, go over that, uh,
03:59that, uh, roundabout, and then, uh, a wizard will meet you.
04:04And first you'd go, do I go over the roundabout, or...?
04:09There's a rule with asking directions, though, which men tend not to do, I think, as much as women, but
04:14if the person you ask says, um, drive on...
04:18No, drive parked on their foot.
04:23Or if they say, or if they say, do you want the easy way to get there?
04:29I don't want to be tortured and left for dead on the side of the road.
04:35I was in Canada once, and then I'm asking directions, I was trying to find this friend's farm, and I
04:40saw this farmer, and he says, uh, you go down the road, about three miles, and then you'll see a
04:45big dead possum in the middle of the road.
04:48You go left there.
04:50Well, how do you know the dead possum will be there?
04:53And he says, would you pick up a dead possum?
04:56I was getting directions once on the phone, and I was actually writing them down, and I realised, after about
05:01a minute, I'd stopped listening and started drawing.
05:04I'd break a big elephant, big bollocks on it, and I just realised, and someone said, we were actually driving
05:11on, and I said, where is it?
05:11I said, well, you go down the left, ooh, the left.
05:15If you ask a lady for directions, she'll ask you a question, but, so if you say, do you know
05:20where the post office is, she'll say, do you want to buy a stamp?
05:25That's sweet.
05:26And you'll find you're having a nice chat, and everyone's friends.
05:29Yeah.
05:30But you have no idea where the post office is.
05:33So there you are.
05:34If you could drive straight upwards, and it would take under an hour if you were going at about 60
05:39-odd miles an hour,
05:39out of space is defined as anywhere outside a planet's atmosphere, according to the Fédération Aeronautique Internationale.
05:47This is 62 miles above the surface of the Earth.
05:49You'll be afraid just how thin the atmosphere is.
05:52Have a look at this.
05:53On the left, what you see is all the water on Earth squeezed into a ball,
05:59and on the right, a slightly larger ball, is all the atmosphere squeezed in.
06:03It shows how thin it all is.
06:05I like that.
06:05I quite like that.
06:06Yeah.
06:06There's something very pleasing about it.
06:08It was done by a man called Adam Niemann.
06:11It won the concept section of the 2003 Visions of Space competition.
06:16Is that the water squashed up a bit?
06:18It's all the seas and all the lakes?
06:20Yeah.
06:21That's right.
06:221.41 billion cubic kilometers.
06:24Anyway, there you are, Alan.
06:25One of the constellations in the sky, which I'm sure you've heard, is Canis Major,
06:29Latin for the bigger dog.
06:31The biggest can.
06:32The biggest dog of the dog.
06:34What is, on the other hand, the smallest dog in the world?
06:39There's one that's been lost near where I live.
06:46It says, on the ramp post, it was lost at Tesco's.
06:51It said, it's quite small, Yorkshire Terrier, and it looks like a puppy, but it's old,
06:55and his tongue's always sticking out.
06:58Well, you certainly get two points, because probably Yorkshire Terrier is the right answer.
07:02We'd hoped you might say Chihuahua.
07:04Certainly the smallest dog ever recorded was a Yorkshire Terrier.
07:07A tiny little dog.
07:09Tiny thing.
07:10Oh, look at that.
07:11Don't say that's how small they are.
07:12This one was a Yorkshire Terrier which died in 1945, and it was two and a half inches high,
07:19and three and three quarter inches long, weighed four ounces, and would fit in this box.
07:28All between two pieces of bread.
07:31Did you just say all between two pieces of bread?
07:33Yeah.
07:42Now, from Chihuahuas, which we didn't mention, really, because you avoided that trap, to cheese.
07:46Cheese can be made from the milk of cows, sheep, goats, horses, reindeer, llamas, yaks, water buffalo, camels, zebras.
07:54But, Sean, would you eat Chihuahua cheese?
07:59Yeah.
08:02And I'd fall off with some, you know, Spaniel pate.
08:05Lovely.
08:07Yeah, yeah, I would, yeah.
08:08Quite right, yes.
08:09It is a very popular Mexican cheese.
08:12From the province of Chihuahua, but not made from a Chihuahua dog.
08:16Is it a state or a province?
08:18It's a state.
08:19It's a state.
08:20The things are state.
08:21There it is.
08:22I should get a point for that.
08:23Come on.
08:23You should get a point.
08:24Definitely.
08:25How you can make a mistake like that?
08:27Oh, I'm ashamed of myself.
08:28Bittily, bitterly.
08:29You should be beating yourself tonight, aren't you?
08:31I will.
08:32Let me excuse you.
08:38It's, uh...
08:38Mellors, winch me up.
08:42I'm doing the full 24.
08:45Level 6.
08:47I wouldn't feel bad about that.
08:49No, I don't.
08:49I don't.
08:50I really don't.
08:51I couldn't give a toss, as a matter of fact.
08:53But, no, do you know what's an interesting place?
08:55It's where the patches used to live.
08:56Geronimo used to do raiding parties into the United States from there.
09:00I believe you do a Mexican accent.
09:03Si.
09:04Yep.
09:07Yes, it's very nice cheese, actually.
09:09It's from Mexico.
09:10It's made from the lactic secretions of the boss chaurus.
09:13Queso.
09:14Queso.
09:15Queso arrastado is what it's actually called.
09:17Roasting cheese.
09:19So, the old shark's tooth is very sharp, but I also have here some flint, which is even sharper.
09:25What, this is your question, what is flint made of?
09:29Shark's teeth.
09:30No.
09:31Fluff and lint.
09:35Compressed.
09:38Do you know, in a weird kind of way, it isn't that far off.
09:43Animal matter?
09:44Ultimately, it is.
09:45It's made of quartz, but quartz itself comes from the silicate that was laid down millions
09:50of years ago by which animals?
09:53They are animals, and they used to be thought of as plants.
09:56Coral.
09:57Crabs.
09:58Anenemies.
09:58Something you might find in your bathroom.
10:00Crabs.
10:03A sponge.
10:05A sponge.
10:05A sponge is what we're looking for.
10:07Millions and millions of sponges.
10:0920% of the earth's crust is quartz, and it's made from sponges.
10:12I have a sponge, in case you wanted to see what one looked like.
10:15Hello.
10:16It's not a living sponge.
10:18Have you been offered a drink or anything?
10:22Sponges really are quite interesting.
10:24If you sieve a sponge, and you separate it, even in itself like that,
10:27and it goes out, it's all disintegrated, it will reintegrate itself.
10:31But even more extraordinary.
10:32Like Terminator 2?
10:33You take five different sponges, different species of sponge,
10:38put them all in the same liquidiser, blitz them all up,
10:43pour the resulting smoothie that you get into salt water,
10:48and in time they will separate themselves out into their original species,
10:53and you will get the sponges back again.
10:55Miraculous things.
10:56Isn't that clever?
10:57It doesn't work with chihuahuas.
10:59I tried.
11:00Very unfortunate.
11:02Right, so, yes, flint, one of a range of rocks,
11:04which are collectively known as chert.
11:06The elders being agate, jasper, and chalcedony.
11:10Now, let's have another question.
11:12Who was the only survivor of the Crimean War?
11:16When did it affect the end, then?
11:18That's what you have to find out.
11:20Sebastopol and Balaclava and the Charge of the Light Brigade.
11:22It's that war, yes.
11:23And we got their cannons and made the VC out of them.
11:26It was around the time the cannon was being invented.
11:28It was around the 1850s, 1854.
11:31But in those days, when Britain went to war, because of a very peculiar law, there was one part of
11:39Britain that was exempt from being called either England or Scotland.
11:43Berwick.
11:43Berwick upon Tweed.
11:45Yes.
11:46Yeah, absolutely right.
11:47Berwick upon Tweed was given a special status as being of the United Kingdom, but not in it.
11:53So when the British went to war with Russia, it was Victoria, Queen of Britain, Ireland, Berwick upon Tweed, and
11:59the British dominions beyond the sea was in the phraseology of the declaration of war.
12:04But in 1856, they didn't mention Berwick upon Tweed in the peace treaty, so it was still technically at war
12:12until 1966 when the mayor of Berwick upon Tweed actually signed a treaty with Russia, saying, now at last, you
12:22can tell the Russian people that they may sleep easily in their beds.
12:27I thought Berwick still was separate, isn't it?
12:30They're in England, but they play in the Scottish League.
12:32Is that right?
12:33Excellent.
12:34So there we have it.
12:34There's a war that went from 1854 to 1966.
12:37A creature that had been on a ship at Sebastopol in the war was still alive when the war ended.
12:43It was the only thing that was alive.
12:44A tortoise is absolutely right.
12:46It was a naval tortoise called Timothy the tortoise.
12:50Isn't he just the one that just died?
12:52No, there he is.
12:53He's fine.
12:56He carried on living until 2004, survivor of the Crimean War.
13:00He was ship's mascot of the HMS Queen during the first bombardment of Sebastopol.
13:04Did he actually fight in the war?
13:06No.
13:08He could have survived the war, but was in it, involved in it, in major occasions.
13:13The fighting tortoise.
13:13He crawled back to your line, and then you chuck him again.
13:17Yeah.
13:23The glorious fighting tortoises in the British army.
13:26They didn't use him to send messages.
13:31That's right.
13:32The enemy is coming.
13:34Has he delivered the peace treaty yet?
13:36He's on his way.
13:38My nephew's got one, and it attacks you.
13:41It actually runs and throws itself at your feet.
13:44I'm sure that's not a rabbit in a helmet.
13:50It literally is down.
13:54Gentlemen, stand by to repel boredom, because it's general ignorance time.
13:59Alan, I believe you've got something inside your desk.
14:02Have I?
14:02Yeah, have you not looked?
14:04So not to school by that.
14:08So, what is that?
14:09It's a loofah.
14:10And where do loofahs come from?
14:12The bathroom.
14:14Originally?
14:15From the sea.
14:17Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.
14:21You knew that, did you, Sean?
14:23Yeah.
14:23Where are they from?
14:24You grow them.
14:24They're little seeds.
14:25That's right.
14:26I got the worst Christmas present ever.
14:28Ever in my life.
14:30My sister gave me a grow-your-own loofah kit.
14:34God bless her.
14:35It was a clay pot, a bag of earth, and five seeds.
14:39Well, I think the clay pot hit her hardest.
14:47Anyway, it's surprising most people, including myself this morning, until I saw this question,
14:51I have to say, believed that loofahs came from the sea.
14:53Did you think loofahs came from the sea?
14:54I would have said, yet not my vegetable garden.
14:57No.
14:58Well, they grow in Asia, in Africa, and they are quite prized.
15:01They can be sliced and diced and popped into curries and soups and things like that.
15:04No way.
15:05See, I don't think they've been rubbing a nana's back, though.
15:09Well, they're kind of good.
15:10Yeah.
15:11There they are.
15:12Look, hanging.
15:13And what do you do with it?
15:14You hit your twin on the head in the wacky races.
15:19But, if you're a nun...
15:21Oh, no, don't go there.
15:24I didn't say anything.
15:25Oh, please.
15:27There's obviously a reason that, in Victorian bathrooms, they had articles like that.
15:31It's a huge excuse for sexual jollities, isn't it?
15:34Oh, no, I use it for my back.
15:37Yeah.
15:38It would feel like...
15:39You know, like, sometimes, if you sit on your hand, and you feel like someone else is doing it?
15:43It would feel like someone with a stump, just playing with it.
15:46Mummy, make the nasty man go away.
15:52Very odd.
15:54No.
15:56Yeah.
15:56Give me that looper.
15:58It works, doesn't it?
16:00It's going...
16:01Now you want it.
16:02Yes.
16:03That's going into the art cupboard, and you're going into the naughty corner, if you want.
16:07It's going into your penis tin, isn't it?
16:11You are very bad children, indeed.
16:14Very poor.
16:15Right.
16:16Let's come up for air now.
16:19What colour was the Model T Ford?
16:23Don't say...
16:24Don't say...
16:25Don't say...
16:25Black.
16:26Oh.
16:30Bless you, my little puppy runs into the wall.
16:31You can have any colour, except as long as it's black.
16:35Oh, you said that even, even that frame.
16:40History is bunk, have you got that as well?
16:42Yeah, he did actually say that, I think.
16:44He said history is more or less bunk.
16:47He was a Nazi.
16:48He was a horrific anti-Semite.
16:50He was a grotesque man.
16:51There was nothing nice whatever to say about Henry Ford.
16:53No, nothing.
16:54Hitler only read two books, didn't he, when he was in prison?
16:57Yeah.
16:57One of them was Henry Ford.
16:58Yeah.
16:59Yeah, no, horrible, horrible man.
17:00Anyway, it wasn't black.
17:02No, the first year of the Model T Ford, you couldn't get a black one.
17:05You could get them in grey, red, or brewster green.
17:08Unless they were made in Manchester, in which case they were all blue.
17:12Is that right?
17:12Oh, I like that, it's good.
17:15I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
17:16Yeah, they're blue, the Manchester ones, I'm fairly certain, were blue ones.
17:19When did they start making them in Manchester, though?
17:20Quite a lot later.
17:211910, I think.
17:22Oh, really?
17:22That's good.
17:24Between 1908 and 1927, they made 15,485,000 Model T Fords.
17:30And during that time, the price fell from $825 to $260.
17:36Have you ever driven one?
17:37Never have.
17:38It's the hardest thing in the world.
17:40It's all pedals, isn't it?
17:40It's this business.
17:43It's just so hard.
17:45You have to put your foot on the clutch.
17:47Fast and no fast.
17:50It has two speeds, quite fast, or really very fast indeed.
17:54And there's nothing you can do to slow it down.
17:56No brake pedal.
17:57Other than hit a tree.
17:58And there were no roads in the mountain.
17:59There were only 190 miles of road when that thing came out.
18:01There we are, that's the Model T Ford.
18:03In fact, in the first year of production, black wasn't even an option.
18:06After 1913, they were all black.
18:08But there's no evidence that Ford actually ever said
18:11any color you like, so long as it's black.
18:14Now, listen.
18:15Have you ever been on board a plane full of SOBs?
18:19It is actually an acronym.
18:21It's all acronyms in our travel.
18:23Yeah, it is, isn't it?
18:24Do you know what SOB is?
18:24I would say seats on board, except that...
18:27Oh, very close.
18:28That would be wrong, because why would you say seats on board?
18:31Where else would the seats be?
18:32Well, quite.
18:33Exactly.
18:34I think it's seeks.
18:35What would you...
18:36Seeks on board.
18:36Seeks on board.
18:39In naval parlance, it's the phrase used to describe all people on board a ship,
18:44is the number of watts on board.
18:46Sailors.
18:47Souls.
18:47Souls.
18:48Souls on board.
18:49Souls on board is what it stands for.
18:50Did you know a veal has to have more space to be transported to the abattoir
18:56than a human being in the back of an aeroplane?
18:59Yeah, but to be fair, we have a holiday.
19:00They get killed.
19:04Have you got a vegetableist?
19:08Yeah.
19:09No, I'm a vegetableist.
19:10You're a vegetableist.
19:11I wouldn't eat a veal.
19:12I'd free it.
19:15I had a puffin last week.
19:16That's not delicious, but the point of eating it was because I'd never had one before.
19:22Have you tried one of my turds?
19:24In Southern...
19:26No.
19:27Did you just say what I thought you said?
19:30What?
19:30Get out.
19:32Out now.
19:34No, there's a man came.
19:35I had some whale.
19:36You don't want to listen to this.
19:37But I had some whale, and he said, would you like me to grate some puffin on that?
19:44How do you say no?
19:45You can't say, no, really.
19:48No, I said, yes, go for it.
19:50Grate some puffin on that.
19:52I was in Australia once, and there's a very common bird in Australia.
19:57It's the galah, and it's a pink kind of parrot looking thing.
20:00And then we met this boy, he says, you want to know how to cook a galah?
20:03I said, go on, then.
20:05He said, start a fire, chuck a couple of rocks in it, chuck a galah in.
20:11When the rocks go soft, you can eat the galah.
20:17Do you know what I had for my starter when I had the whale?
20:20With grated puffin.
20:21Grated puffin.
20:21It was a seal flipper.
20:24And it looked exactly like a marigold glove.
20:27It's all good wallpaper face.
20:29And it sat, and you thought, ooh.
20:32And it tasted exactly like licking a hot Turkish urinal.
20:39I'm very concerned that he's where it's at.
20:41It's all.
20:42It's all.
20:43It's all.
20:46It's all.
20:57It's my fantasy.
20:57But with a slightly irony texture to it.
21:00Have you ever been on Ready Steady Cup?
21:01No.
21:02You could have a really good carrier bag, couldn't you?
21:11It's a seal's hand.
21:15And some grasshoppers.
21:18And speaking of SOBs, why was the GATSO camera invented?
21:24Any thoughts?
21:25Does it see souls?
21:28No.
21:28Souls floating, like what people have been run over on the road, going, ooh, it's going too far.
21:33To provide the government with hundreds of millions of pounds.
21:37Oh.
21:39Can I do that?
21:41Yeah.
21:42No, that wasn't why it was invented.
21:43Maybe how it's used now.
21:45Do you know why it was invented?
21:47Gatzenard, Dutchman, rally driver.
21:49He was.
21:50And why did he invent it?
21:51It was something to do with rallying.
21:52It was.
21:53The actual purpose of it was, Maurice, his name was, was to find a way of getting cars to
21:59go faster around corners.
22:00So he needed to monitor the speeds he was going in order to work it out.
22:03So ironic, isn't it?
22:04There's a marvelous new club in Holland called the Tough Tough Club that goes around destroying
22:08them.
22:09Oh, really?
22:10And you get sort of awards and point, internet points and prizes, if you can think of the
22:13most imaginative way.
22:14And my favorite one was, there's a little tiny hole in the back of them.
22:17And if you put some of that builder's foam in, that insulating foam, and it just goes
22:23and it just bursts and then sets in a rather ugly Doctor Who special effect, which is quite
22:29good.
22:30You know what happened in France with clamps?
22:32They lasted about two weeks.
22:33The French would just went around putting superglue in the locks.
22:37Everyone.
22:37People, it wasn't their car.
22:38Just every Frenchman just decided as one man to say no to the clamp.
22:43If you could glue one person's mouth up, who would it be?
22:46I would do it to a ventriloquist.
22:51They really have to work, wouldn't they?
22:53You know how good they really were.
22:54You'd do it to his dummy and then he just goes.
22:59That's another question.
23:00What did Samuel Pepys bury in his garden to save it from the Great Fire of London?
23:05Blimey.
23:06Something flammable it must have been.
23:08Something papery, not his diaries.
23:14Oh dear, oh dear.
23:16I knew that was going to happen.
23:17No, it brings us sort of almost circularly around.
23:20It's, what's our letter of the series?
23:22C.
23:23So it's going to begin with C.
23:25Cardboard.
23:25Cock.
23:27Cock.
23:28Cock.
23:28Cock.
23:29Cock.
23:29Cock.
23:33Ignore his cockerel.
23:35Cheese.
23:35Cheese is the right answer.
23:36Well done.
23:37Take several points.
23:39Very good.
23:39He did.
23:40It was more dairy than dairy, you might say.
23:43He, he, he, he, it was a piece of.
23:51It was a piece of Parmesan, as a matter of fact.
23:55Why?
23:56Well, because it's very valuable, very expensive.
23:58Come all the way from Italy in those days.
24:00He didn't go and help anyone.
24:02No, well he wrote about.
24:03He didn't muck in, he went, the shit, the cheese.
24:07He wasn't supposed to be a great man.
24:10He was a great diarist.
24:11He never, he never claimed to be a more morally superior man than anyone else.
24:14He watched the fire, um, from across the river.
24:18He was the other side.
24:19Mr. Pete!
24:20Mr. Pete!
24:20No!
24:22There was nothing they could do.
24:26Scoot!
24:26Parmesan!
24:28Don't run back into that burny building.
24:30My grater's in there!
24:32Save the pesto!
24:37Poor PP.
24:39This brings us, I think, to our judge the constellation time.
24:43So, Rich, what have you got for us?
24:44I have, um, George Foreman delivering a powerful right hand to a parakeet.
24:52And the answer to the constellation was?
24:55Taurus the bull.
24:56Taurus the bull.
24:57Let's see what Sean's gone for.
25:00It's a sort of train.
25:01It's a train.
25:04Then he's connecting all the dots, is it?
25:06Well, there's a couple of dots there at the front.
25:08Oh, yeah.
25:08And all the other dots are the smoke.
25:12Suggest movements through space.
25:15I like it.
25:16Let's see what the ancients indeed did call that particular constellation.
25:21Oh, there he is.
25:21It's some sort of goat.
25:22It's a goat waiting to be s***ed.
25:25Provocative.
25:27It's the...
25:31Provocative goat?
25:32Quite clearly a Greek goat.
25:33Yes.
25:35The Greek, as we know.
25:36That is a goat looking under the sofa.
25:40With a remote control.
25:41Very good.
25:42So, that would be, um...
25:44Capricorn.
25:44Capricorn, I guess.
25:46Yes!
25:47In fact, it was Aries.
25:49Rambo.
25:49Shit!
25:53Jeremy.
25:55If you turn it like that...
25:57Oh, my God.
25:58It becomes like an old woman.
26:01I think Troy Wilcox did.
26:04That's the old woman.
26:06And the ancients called it Sagittarius.
26:09Yeah, they put on the head and the front legs.
26:12Just added in.
26:13It's not bad, though, really.
26:14You can see the bow.
26:15You can see the bow and arrow bits.
26:15Yeah.
26:17So, Alan.
26:18What have you done?
26:19It's a smiley face with eyebrows.
26:24Very lovely.
26:25Very nice.
26:27And the Greeks themselves came up with this.
26:28Or that particular one.
26:30There we are.
26:33Can I just ask one question?
26:34It's maybe in the Greek times, they did actually look like that.
26:37And over the years, pollution and everything.
26:39Right?
26:40They've disappeared.
26:41And it actually used to look like a big crab in the sky.
26:43But now, it's just a couple of little dots.
26:45You're a loss to the Royal Observatory of Greenwich, Sean.
26:48I know what I can say.
26:49That kind of gracing independent thinking is just what we need
26:52to drive us further into the 21st century.
26:54Okay.
26:55Time to look at the final scores.
26:57It's all pretty close, actually, in a kind of way.
26:59Our proud winner is Jeremy, with five points.
27:02Is that a winner?
27:02Yeah.
27:05I'm so proud.
27:06That's a very good QI score.
27:08In second place, with three points, Sean Locke.
27:15In third place, with two points, Rich Hall.
27:21Alan, Alan, Alan, Alan.
27:24I'm afraid in fourth place, but triumphant, with minus 18.
27:37Well, that is it from QI for another week.
27:40My thanks to Rich, Sean, Jeremy, and Alan.
27:43I'll leave you with the final words of the Mexican revolutionary Pancho Villa,
27:47who was gunned down in 1923.
27:49Don't let it end like this, he said, as he died.
27:53Tell them I said something.
27:55I know just how he felt.
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