- 2 days ago
First broadcast 11th November 2005.
Stephen Fry
Alan Davies
Bill Bailey
Phill Jupitus
David Mitchell
Stephen Fry
Alan Davies
Bill Bailey
Phill Jupitus
David Mitchell
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Well, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, and welcome to QI, or Dja Mun Hao, as they say in
00:08Chinese, because tonight's menu has a very distinctive Chinese flavor, so let me introduce our four mandarins of mirth.
00:17Phil Jupitus, David Mitchell, Bill Bailey, and Alan Davis. So, let's hear your gongs, gentlemen, please. Phil goes...
00:39Oh, twice. There he goes.
00:44It's lovely.
00:45Bill goes...
00:51And Alan goes...
00:56Well, of course he does. Well, dear me.
01:01Actually, I've been doing a little research on Chinese, and I have your Chinese names, as it were. Alan Davis,
01:07for instance, is Alan Davis.
01:10Yeah, which means lazy great slave child.
01:16Or, rather bizarrely, two dozen blue combs.
01:21I, interestingly, Sifan Fly, um, mean, stiff, fragrant husband cum.
01:30Literally true.
01:32Or, private, sweet, bend-over pipe.
01:36Bill?
01:37Shabby plum shellfish texture.
01:41Low hedge, sad hedge.
01:44Billy Bailey.
01:46Of course, Billy Bailey.
01:47Billy Bailey.
01:47Billy.
01:48Phil Jupitus is fully Jupiter.
01:50Vulgar dwarf skin couch.
01:52Nice.
01:54You've also got the hedge, because of the lee, of course, so you're a bend-over hedge master ruffian fetus.
02:00Not bad.
02:01And David Mitchell is slack-slave rotten dynasty.
02:07Or Fry borrows narrow spoon.
02:10Now, the Chinese are amongst the most inventive people on Earth.
02:14The first to make silk, paper, brandy, matches, bells, gunpowder, wheelbarrows, kites, compasses, calendars, crossbows, and, of course, China.
02:23So, name something, beginning with C, that was invented in Corby.
02:28Chow mein.
02:31No, nice thought, though.
02:34The ranked organisation.
02:36Hey!
02:39Steel.
02:39Was it something of steel?
02:41Lot of steel, yes.
02:42There are lots and lots of Scotsmen.
02:45Very true.
02:46Do you know why?
02:47Because they all came and moved there to get jobs.
02:50Yeah.
02:51About 40% of the people are Scottish.
02:53There's a Celtic supporters club and a Rangers supporters club.
02:56It's the second largest Rangers supporters club in the world.
02:58And there's also the Rockingham Raceway racetrack.
03:03These are the things I know of Corby.
03:05These are good!
03:05You see, could this be anything to do at all with the Sainted Trouser Press?
03:10Ah!
03:11You're awful.
03:11Ah!
03:14Ah!
03:14Ah!
03:15We were hoping someone would say, no, the Sainted, as you say, Trouser Press was invented
03:19by a man called Corby and has nothing to do with the great town of Corby.
03:23John Corby in Windsor invented it in 1930.
03:26Can I just say, it does work absolutely beautifully if you need to keep food warm in a hotel room.
03:34Flat foods, mainly.
03:36Yeah.
03:37No, a Panini.
03:37Hell, for hours.
03:39Oh, yes.
03:41The new ones have got a little flip-out ironing board and a mini iron.
03:45The Executive?
03:46The Executive, yes.
03:47The Hotchkiss, 4,000.
03:48No!
03:50Something beginning with C was invented in Corby.
03:53No, we can't find anything.
03:54We were hoping you would say Corby Trouser Press.
03:57CDs.
03:58Crisps.
03:58As far as you say crisps, I mean they weren't invented there.
04:00They were eaten there though, weren't they?
04:02Yeah.
04:04In 1980, they closed the steelworks and 11,000 Corbyites were thrown out of work.
04:09But within little over a year, 15,000 new jobs were created, including at Golden Wonder.
04:16Its main claim to fame, of course, is that it's the largest town in Europe not to have a railway
04:21station.
04:23Gasps.
04:24Did they ever have one?
04:25Well, they did.
04:26It was closed in 1963 and they claim it'll open again in about 2010.
04:30Surely that'll mean Corby will lose its only claim to fame.
04:34True.
04:35It's not the steel anymore, it's just crisps and the nose station.
04:401963 when it closed.
04:4263.
04:42You remember getting off the train there in 64.
04:46We re-open and the first thing is, we apologise for the later on.
04:52They do have another claim to fame though.
04:54What's the connection between Corby and an enormous amount of porridge found on Mars?
05:01Well, that would be definite evidence of life on Mars if they found a bowl of porridge.
05:07Yeah.
05:09And then three bears.
05:10Yeah.
05:13And then the probe would be able to determine whether it was too hot, or indeed just raw.
05:21Just, just raw.
05:22Is it the Scottish space programme?
05:24We'll send them porridge to Mars.
05:28Cast your mind back to June-ish 1969.
05:31Right.
05:31Okay.
05:32What happened then, big famous thing?
05:34The old moon landing?
05:34The moon landing.
05:35Now, in the 230 odd thousand miles from Earth to the moon, there's a lot of boring time in which
05:42the three sitting in their podule are chatting to mission control.
05:46Houston said, and in Corby, England, an Irishman John Coyle has won the world's porridge eating championship by consuming 23
05:54bowls of instant oatmeal in a 10 minute time limit.
05:57Over.
06:00That's an actual transcript.
06:01And Apollo 11 said, I'd like to enter Aldrin in an oatmeal eating contest next time.
06:08He's on the 19th bowl.
06:10Roger.
06:12Which deathless conversation led to NASA getting rather obsessed with Corby and porridge.
06:19And so it named a crater on Mars, Corby.
06:23If there is any life on Mars, aren't they going to be angry that everywhere's been named according to some
06:29NASA-based in-joke system?
06:32The rules that govern the naming of craters on Mars, they have to be named after towns in the world
06:40with a population below 100,000.
06:42The ones beginning with C include Cadiz, Cairns.
06:45Cadiz.
06:46Cadiz, thank you.
06:47Cadiz.
06:53Cadiz.
06:55Cadiz.
06:55Cadiz.
06:55Cadiz.
06:56Cadiz.
06:57Cadiz.
06:58Cadiz.
06:59Cadiz.
06:59Cadiz.
07:00Cadiz.
07:01Cadiz.
07:02Cadiz.
07:02Cadiz.
07:02Cadiz.
07:03Cadiz.
07:04Cadiz.
07:04Cadiz.
07:06Cadiz.
07:07Cadiz.
07:08Cadiz.
07:14Cadiz.
07:17Is there a sign that says twinned with a crater on Mars?
07:22Is that photo taken from the moon, or is that taken from Mars?
07:26Because the Earth's probably too big, isn't it?
07:28Well, it could be a graphic image, and if it is a graphic image,
07:31whenever you see on the news graphic representations of Mars,
07:35it usually says, courtesy NASA JPL, Jet Propulsion Lab,
07:40but by a weird coincidence, that only happens in the land of QI,
07:44the name of the senior graphic programmer at NASA is, is Corby Waste.
07:54We're all going to live on Mars in the end.
07:57Oh, yeah.
08:00You saw about that.
08:02Yeah.
08:03Yeah?
08:04That 1950s boys' adventure book isn't necessary.
08:08It's true.
08:09I didn't get it from there.
08:10I got it from Channel 5.
08:13Open your desk.
08:14They said the sun.
08:15Wait a minute.
08:15You can get Channel 5.
08:17That is you.
08:18What's me?
08:19That's an Alan potato head.
08:23I don't know.
08:26I watched this documentary, and they said eventually,
08:29the sun will explode or implode or something,
08:31and everything will be gone.
08:33That won't help Mars, will it?
08:34Including Earth.
08:35On the way out, we have to stop at Mars.
08:38Oh, I thought it meant there was a services there.
08:41There'll be someone trying to get you to join the RAC in the car park.
08:48Humans will leave this planet, Stephen.
08:50They will.
08:51The wise one has spoken, ladies and gentlemen.
08:54There we were in space, near Mars, on the crater Corby.
08:59Now, porridge was invented, in fact, in China.
09:02The city of Chinan, spelt Qunan, but pronounced Chinan in China.
09:08It's about the same size as Corby.
09:10You can see it behind us.
09:11And is also, by coincidence, the site of one of the country's largest steelworks.
09:15But what quite interesting material do they make their houses from?
09:23Yeah.
09:25I tell you, is it dinosaur eggs?
09:33I'm almost inclined to tear up the real arms and say yes, but...
09:37No, because I've got one.
09:39A Chinese dinosaur egg.
09:41Yes, it was a birthday present from my wife.
09:44Every evening, Bill, four hours on the egg, just in case.
09:50I'm thinking about taking it abroad, you know.
09:52Taking it to the airport, you know, see if I can get it scanned for free.
09:56You know, just put it...
09:59Oh, so he goes, my God, what the...
10:01You know, I thought I was doing that when the tortoise was ill,
10:04getting it saved on me.
10:08It's stone, it's fossil, obviously.
10:09It's stone, ways...
10:11I thought it was a skull at first when I opened it.
10:13And I thought, that's a bit of a weird present, but I'll go along with it.
10:16Yeah, great.
10:18And they're huge, and they make very good building blocks.
10:21So they...
10:21Well, it wasn't as gibberingly, drivelingly stupid an answer as it first sounded.
10:27No, it's not that.
10:28It is a very famous Chinese thing, that these houses...
10:31Bamboo.
10:34Oh, dear.
10:35Not bamboo.
10:36No.
10:37Oh, oh, oh!
10:38Oh, oh, sir, sir.
10:39What?
10:39Bootleg Coldplay CDs.
10:48Bits of the Great Wall.
10:49Yes is the right answer.
10:51I hope this is up to ten points.
10:52Absolutely right.
10:53Oh, wow.
10:54Oh, wow.
10:58Yeah, it's a rather sad thing, this Great Wall of China.
11:00It is disappearing.
11:01There's only 20% of it left.
11:03Where has it gone?
11:04Well, people just cart bits off to build pigsties and walled barns and farmers just take bits
11:10because it's handy material.
11:11The Gobi Desert is encroaching upon the Great Wall.
11:14Is it?
11:15Yeah, unfortunately.
11:16How rude.
11:19How does the desert encroach?
11:21Sort of like, you sort of look away and then, you know, you know, you can't tell your grandmother's
11:28footsteps.
11:30I'm sure it was.
11:31It's the same way you get the armrest on the train.
11:40They should convert it into flats or something, you know, something useful.
11:43Wouldn't that be brilliant.
11:44They converted it into flats.
11:46Look, it's thick enough for flats.
11:47You just need to knock a few windows on either side.
11:49And then you could probably have, you know, four or five hundred thousand flats all the
11:53way along it.
11:53And then people would look after their own bit with, you know, window boxes and everything.
11:57Or a retail opportunity, the Great Wall of China would do it.
12:02But, you know what?
12:06Points all round to everybody who deserves them and none to those who don't.
12:10Now, what do we have Thomas Crapper to thank for?
12:15Yay.
12:16Yay.
12:18You're so wary these days.
12:19You're so wary.
12:20Come on, you're a new boy, David.
12:22He invented the flush lavatory.
12:24Ow!
12:27My mother and family, thank you for saying lavatory, not toilet.
12:30But it's not true.
12:32The Chinese did, of course.
12:33Who else?
12:34But he did invent the ball cock.
12:36Ball cock.
12:43Sorry, I don't know why that's funny.
12:46Sorry, but it's funny to say ball cock.
12:52Yes, I learned at the University of Rowan-Atkinson, me.
12:55But anyway, yes, 206 BC, it was a flush lavatory from the Hand dynasty.
13:02Then it wasn't any good.
13:03I bet we're talking about a bucket on a shelf that you poked with a stick, aren't we?
13:07It falls on you.
13:08He had a seat and armrests and a system of pipes for flushing.
13:11But the weird thing is, the verb to crap was used as early as 1846, and crapper was born in
13:191836.
13:21So, it's a kind of coincidence.
13:23Or maybe it's something called nominative determinism, which is where, if you're called Mr. Bun, it increases your chances of
13:31becoming a baker.
13:32That's why you run that calf.
13:34That's why I run a piece of chips for all of the side.
13:40Well, the flush toilet, invented in China.
13:46The Chinese also invented blue paper.
13:49Now, name three more Chinese inventions.
13:52Pot noodle.
13:57Whispers.
14:03Very good.
14:06Chess.
14:07Chess is good.
14:08I'll give you one for chess.
14:09Acupuncture.
14:10Acupuncture is obviously very much.
14:12Fireworks.
14:12Fireworks.
14:13Good one, absolutely.
14:14Little tinfoil cartons with a cardboard lid.
14:19But things they didn't invent are quite interesting.
14:21They didn't invent the rickshaw, which was an American invented the rickshaw.
14:24Chop Suey is an American invention.
14:27Was the rickshaw invented by a bloke called rickshaw?
14:29No, that would be true.
14:30Right, because you grow up to do what your name is, you know.
14:33His name is Jonathan Scobie.
14:35Oh, I'd much rather be pulled around on a scoby.
14:40Fortune cookies are also American.
14:42I wish they'd be a bit more honest.
14:43You know, snap, with the amount of MSG you've just had.
14:46A massive coronary is moments away.
14:50Do you know why MSG was developed?
14:52Why it was...
14:53Why it was...
14:53Why it was...
14:54Yeah.
14:55Do you know about umami?
14:57Umami?
14:57Oh, it's the other flavor.
14:59It's the other flavor.
15:00There's salt, sour, bitter and sweet, and umami.
15:04Umami?
15:04Yes, umami.
15:05Yes, not umami.
15:06Is that the noise you make when you eat it?
15:08Umami!
15:13They say you have it in the Parmesan cheese.
15:16It has umami.
15:17A kind of meaty savouriness called umami.
15:20What would a Scotch egg have at umami?
15:22In that gas that it releases when you bite through, you know.
15:26We don't know what it is.
15:27It doesn't occur naturally in the atmosphere.
15:29It's the gas between egg and sausage in a Scotch egg.
15:33It's a horrible thing, yeah.
15:34It's a bit like the dry roast peanut gas, isn't it?
15:37They have a man at Gold Wonder Fox in a bag for you.
15:44Real Chinese inventions include the abacus, chess,
15:47the decimal system, drilling for oil, fireworks, the fishing reel,
15:50the flamethrower, the helicopter, the horse collar, the iron plow, lacquer,
15:55the mechanical clock, hot air balloons, negative numbers,
15:57the parachute printmaking, relief maps, rudders, cyborg,
16:00stirrups, the suspension bridge, the umbrella, the water pump,
16:02and whiskey.
16:04Now, what was the name of the Dalmatian
16:08that discovered China?
16:10Is it Marco Polo?
16:12Yes, Marco Polo.
16:13I thought that might be no...
16:14Yeah, very good.
16:15Well done.
16:20He came from Dalmatia,
16:22who was born probably Marco Pilich,
16:24Marco Pili, which means chicken,
16:26Mark Chicken, my name.
16:28A lot of people thought he was Dalmatian.
16:30He was actually Irish.
16:30He was Marco Polo.
16:32Ha-ha!
16:33Polo!
16:34I was in a pub quiz team once,
16:36very much making up the numbers.
16:38No, no!
16:40My friends in this team,
16:41they were in a pub in Kennington,
16:42and they were coming from Croydon.
16:44Anyway, they got lost,
16:45and they were late.
16:46And one of them said,
16:47I can't feel like Marco Polo coming up here.
16:49And I said,
16:50who's that then?
16:53They all looked at me,
16:54they were joking,
16:55I know who it is,
16:55I just thought it'd be funny,
16:57as a pub quiz team,
16:58it'd be funny to say...
17:00Who's Marco?
17:00Who's that then?
17:01No, they...
17:02They're not serious, though.
17:03They're definitely hush.
17:05I bet they're in despair watching this show.
17:07Yes.
17:11Well, it'd be great.
17:12And what, we know a pub with him, though,
17:13with Fry.
17:14Oh, Joe.
17:14Your team.
17:15Joe.
17:15Yeah, and this is Barry from down the road.
17:17Yeah, he does look like him.
17:21Fry will be there having to fake his way in the pub.
17:23Oh, blimey.
17:29Give it away by swearing in Latin.
17:34Oh.
17:37Maximum.
17:38Maximum.
17:39So, anyway,
17:41hastening on,
17:42Marco Polo,
17:42otherwise known as Marco Pilic,
17:44was born in Kursula in Dalmatia in 1254,
17:48then a protectorate of Venice,
17:49which, of course,
17:50sticking like porridge to our sea theme,
17:52made him a Croatian.
17:54Now, a group of Croatian mercenaries
17:56invented something
17:57which no successful Chinese businessman
17:59or any other kind of businessman
18:00would want to be without.
18:02What is it?
18:03The attaché case.
18:04The attaché case.
18:05Did you know,
18:06I mean,
18:07you're a million miles away.
18:08The minibar.
18:12Well, that's a little further away.
18:14Five minutes preview on your hotel porn.
18:17That would be enough to admit.
18:19Not these.
18:19Trouser press.
18:20Well, if you...
18:21Do you have one of these?
18:23Trouser press.
18:24Did you say,
18:24Oh, dear.
18:25He said he would do food like that.
18:27No businessman would want to be without it.
18:31The tie.
18:31A tie?
18:32Yes.
18:32Is it?
18:33Yes.
18:34The Croatians invented a tie.
18:36Fantastic.
18:40Yep.
18:41The Croatian for Croatia is hrava.
18:44Hang on a minute.
18:47That's not a businessman.
18:51Well, the Croatian for Croatia is hrava.
18:54Hrava?
18:54From which the word hrava comes from.
18:58Hrava is croat, in fact.
19:00And yes,
19:01in the court of Louis XIII of France,
19:03there were Croatian mercenaries
19:04who wore this neck gear,
19:06which the French courtes thought was rather,
19:08Oh, I will wear this also.
19:10Did they not speak in their own language?
19:12No.
19:14They spoke in a crazy French accent.
19:19What kind of mercenary?
19:21Where's the cravat?
19:26Give me your money,
19:27I'll fight your war.
19:31How many ways do you think there are
19:33to tie a tie?
19:34How many different knots?
19:36Well, I know from the Cub Scouts,
19:37there's at least 24.
19:39There's some 283 ones.
19:41No, it was only 85 different knots.
19:43The four well-known ones.
19:45The standard one,
19:45the Windsor,
19:46the half-Windsor,
19:47and the footballer.
19:48The footballer, yes.
19:50They're somehow wider than their head.
19:57So, um,
19:58ties.
19:59Now we know, of course,
20:00that Croatia really means
20:01Thailand.
20:03Oh, do you see?
20:05Another prerequisite,
20:06of course,
20:07aside from ties,
20:08for modern commerce,
20:09is a regular dosage of caffeine.
20:11Can you tell me,
20:12what are coffee tights?
20:15Hmm.
20:16Coffee tights.
20:17Coffee tights.
20:18Coffee tights.
20:18Maybe a prudish person
20:20might place them over the legs
20:21of a coffee table.
20:26Coffee tights,
20:27it's, um,
20:28it's women's,
20:30it's some sort of
20:31ludicrous treatment,
20:32isn't it?
20:33It's absolutely right.
20:33For their fat cellulite treatment.
20:35Yeah, absolutely right.
20:37Of tights,
20:38made of coffee,
20:40as it were,
20:40at least,
20:41with caffeine in them.
20:43Are there going to be other
20:43items of clothing
20:44made out of liquid?
20:45Like custard socks,
20:47or a nice vodka hat.
20:51Now you've said custard socks,
20:53I want them now.
20:55But you can't have
20:56any custard socks
20:56that you've put on
20:57your gravy cardi.
21:00Body heat releases
21:02caffeine microcapsules
21:03into the skin,
21:04much as a nicotine patch
21:06releases nicotine
21:07into the skin.
21:07It apparently increases
21:08the metabolism of the legs,
21:10supposedly,
21:10so that you lose,
21:11as you say,
21:12cellulite,
21:13that orange peel look.
21:14Yeah, decaf coffee tights.
21:15This is tights.
21:16You don't get them that?
21:22It does seem unlikely
21:23that slipping on a pair of tights
21:24is going to dissolve
21:25a fat ass.
21:26Anyway.
21:28You can stop your leg
21:29going to sleep.
21:32Very good.
21:34Excellent.
21:36Let's burn off
21:37some of those
21:38unsightly points now
21:39by slipping
21:40into some thermal
21:41forfeits, Joe.
21:42In Chinese,
21:43QI is pronounced
21:45Chi.
21:46And you probably
21:47know the word.
21:48It means the life force.
21:50The QI, the Chi.
21:51The Korean for that
21:52is GI,
21:53which of course
21:53stands happily
21:54for general ignorance,
21:55which is
21:56where we're going now,
21:57so fingers on buzzers,
21:58please.
21:59Who is this?
22:01Eroth.
22:06Well, thank you for falling
22:08into our little
22:08heffa-lump trap there.
22:10It's actually
22:11the angel
22:12of Christian charity.
22:14Eros.
22:16Eros was the Greek
22:17god of love.
22:18This is the angel
22:19of Christian charity.
22:20Why is it called
22:21Eros, then?
22:23Because people
22:24mistakenly thought
22:24it was Eros
22:25because it had a bow and arrow.
22:26Eros is the Greek
22:27for Cupid
22:27and they thought
22:28it was like Cupid's dart.
22:29Originally the arrow
22:30pointed up
22:31a particular avenue
22:32and the idea
22:33was the...
22:33Shaft.
22:34Shaft.
22:34It was burying
22:35its shaft
22:35up Shaftsbury Avenue,
22:37which was named
22:37after Lord Shaftsbury,
22:39Ashley Cooper,
22:40the great...
22:40I know who he was.
22:42Tell me that.
22:42He was the bloke
22:43that passed
22:43all those acts
22:44in the 19th century
22:45to stop children
22:46having to work
22:4795 hours a week.
22:48Exactly right.
22:50It was a first,
22:51that particular statue.
22:52Do you know why?
22:52The first one
22:54on one leg.
22:56No, not that.
22:57Material we're after.
22:59Oh.
22:59Bronze, copper,
23:00metal, steel, wood.
23:01Metal, certainly.
23:02Not wood.
23:03It wouldn't be
23:04the first wooden
23:04or metal statue,
23:05would it?
23:07Aluminium.
23:08Aluminium,
23:08there you are.
23:09Take five points,
23:09young David Mitchell.
23:10I know something
23:11about statues
23:13of military personnel.
23:15Yes?
23:16On horseback.
23:17If they're up
23:18on their hind legs,
23:19like that,
23:19it means they died
23:20in battle.
23:22And if they got
23:23one leg up,
23:24it means they died
23:25on service,
23:26but not in a battle.
23:27And if they got
23:28all four down,
23:29it means they just
23:29died after years later.
23:31It's not really true.
23:32It sounds true.
23:33It's really true.
23:34I should have
23:34the little elves,
23:35the QILs.
23:36Oh, they're flashing me now.
23:38This is an urban myth
23:38and not true,
23:39it says.
23:42Very quick.
23:47It feels like
23:48everything that I know
23:49is wrong.
23:50Oh, I'm so sorry.
23:51Is that something too?
23:52Should I say that
23:53or I don't know?
23:55That's what comes
23:56when you acquire
23:57your knowledge
23:57by overhearing
23:58blokes in pubs.
24:00It is a general rule
24:01that if any fact
24:02given you
24:02starts with the word
24:03apparently,
24:04it is always untrue.
24:06Apparently, right.
24:07The CIA
24:08control gravity.
24:12While on the subject
24:13of the CIA,
24:13where does
24:14does the name
24:15America come from?
24:18Watch me
24:19crash and burn
24:20with a
24:20Merego Vespucci.
24:22Ah, thank you.
24:23Yes,
24:24many, many
24:25have believed
24:26this is true,
24:27but current research
24:27shows
24:28it's actually
24:28named after
24:30a Welshman,
24:31in fact,
24:32called...
24:33Die America.
24:40Richard Americk,
24:41probably meaning
24:42son of
24:43Maurice
24:43Ap-Merick.
24:45Not everyone
24:45believes this theory,
24:46but it is quite convincing.
24:48One of the reasons
24:48it's not convincing
24:49that it was
24:50America Vespucci
24:50is that countries
24:51were never named
24:52after somebody's
24:53Christian name,
24:54unless they were royal,
24:55like Prince Edward Island
24:56or Victoria or something.
24:57But otherwise,
24:58it's Cook Islands
24:59and it's
24:59all those
25:00Magellan Straits.
25:01It's always the surname.
25:02Abel Tasman?
25:02Exactly,
25:03and Demon's Land.
25:04So,
25:05it should be Vespucci
25:06if it were
25:07to be named after him.
25:08John Cabot,
25:09who was the first
25:09European to set foot
25:10on what we now
25:11consider mainland
25:12United States,
25:14was commissioned
25:15by this man,
25:15Americk,
25:16who probably
25:16had his name
25:17on the map
25:17and it would have
25:18been known
25:18as Americk's Land
25:19and then America.
25:20Ah, so it's
25:21a Welsh name.
25:22Everyone's the country.
25:25Talking of which,
25:26who was the first
25:26president of America?
25:29Another two?
25:33No, surprisingly not.
25:35No, he was
25:35probably the 15th.
25:37He was the first
25:38president of an
25:39independent
25:39United States of America,
25:41but there had been
25:41many presidents
25:42of the United States
25:43in Congress assembled,
25:45presidents of the
25:46Continental Congress
25:47of America.
25:48And the first one
25:49was called Randolph,
25:51Peyton Randolph.
25:52The second one
25:53was called John Hancock.
25:54Oh, Hancock.
25:55And what does
25:55John Hancock mean?
25:56Fingers on buzzers quickly,
25:57if you're an American.
25:59Oh, you've got that, dude.
26:00It means signature.
26:02Yes.
26:02I was just very
26:03alarmed when I first
26:04went to America
26:04and was told to put
26:05I just heard you
26:06read your John Hancock
26:07on the...
26:07I thought.
26:10Mind what, boy?
26:12Just put your
26:12John Hancock down
26:13in the world.
26:14That's what it means.
26:15They use it all the time.
26:16Well, it's the reason
26:16being is that
26:17on the Declaration
26:18of Independence
26:18as they all signed
26:19and everyone went
26:20sort of,
26:21and that's me.
26:23Hancock came along.
26:24John!
26:25Hancock!
26:26Hancock!
26:27It is.
26:27You can actually
26:28see it from space.
26:30But you're right.
26:32His is the big signature
26:33on the Declaration of Independence.
26:35So there you are.
26:36There were 13 others
26:37after Peyton
26:37and then on 30th of April
26:401789
26:41George Washington
26:42was sworn in
26:42as the first president
26:43of the independent
26:44United States.
26:46It's time
26:46for scores.
26:48In first place
26:50with a very impressive
26:52nought
26:52it's David Mitchell
26:54ladies and gentlemen.
26:59In second place
27:01with minus eight
27:01Bill Bailey.
27:06And in third place
27:07with minus nine
27:08is Phil Jupiters.
27:13And in fourth place
27:14with minus 40
27:15Alan Davis.
27:16Congratulations.
27:25Well, that is
27:26one un
27:26from another edition
27:28of Chi.
27:28So my thanks
27:29to Phil,
27:30David,
27:31Bill,
27:31Alan,
27:31and to the people
27:32and naturally
27:33the trousers
27:33of Corby.
27:34Finally,
27:35to another city
27:36with cosmic connections.
27:37A man recently
27:38went into one
27:39of the largest
27:39bookshops in Manchester
27:41and strode up
27:42to the counter
27:42in the cartographic
27:43department.
27:43Do you have any
27:44globes?
27:45He said.
27:46Over there
27:47on the shelf,
27:48sir,
27:48the assistant replied.
27:49No,
27:50he said.
27:50These are all
27:51of the world.
27:52I want a globe
27:53of Salford.
27:56Zaijian.
27:57Goodbye.
27:57Bye.
27:57Bye.
27:57Bye.
27:57Bye.
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