- 2 days ago
First broadcast 30th September 2005.
Stephen Fry
Alan Davies
Arthur Smith
Andy Hamilton
Doon Mackichan
Stephen Fry
Alan Davies
Arthur Smith
Andy Hamilton
Doon Mackichan
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Well, good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening, and welcome to QI for a very special operatic
00:06edition featuring the vocal talents of Arthur Smith, Andy Hamilton, Dune McEachan, and Alan Davis, better known as three tenors
00:25and a fiver.
00:27Now, in front of each of you is an ordinary wine glass. At the end of the programme, there's a
00:3450-point bonus for anyone who can break it using the power of the voice alone.
00:40In the meantime, let's hear your buzzer noises. Dune goes...
00:49And Arthur goes...
00:55And he goes...
01:00That's very good. And Alan goes...
01:12Now, gentlemen, which one of you would like to smother Dune McEachan in goose fat?
01:19What, again?
01:23Well, I know...
01:25You've swam miles in the sea, haven't you?
01:27Yeah, you swam the channel.
01:29I swam from Shakespeare Beach in Dover to Cap Grenet in France.
01:33This woman has swam the channel, ladies and gentlemen.
01:36That's a bit good, isn't it?
01:41That's a bit good, isn't it?
01:43And were you smothered in goose fat?
01:46Yeah, it wasn't actually goose fat. It was just normal...
01:49Vaseline?
01:51Jam? No, it wasn't jam.
01:53No, that's in your head.
01:55Yes.
01:56And we'd like it to stay there.
01:59In 1998, is that right?
02:01That is right.
02:01Captain Webb was the first man to swim across the channel in 18-something.
02:06You probably know.
02:061875, August the 24th.
02:08Well, I've always known that, because that's my birthday.
02:10But, ah...
02:11Well, he had goose fat, but in the channel in those days,
02:13it wasn't full of condoms and regurgitated beer and turds,
02:17which is what I was swimming through.
02:18It was all phosphorescence and dolphins and...
02:21He took 21 hours, I think. How long did you take?
02:23Well, we swam with some paratroopers, so it wasn't a solo...
02:26Oh, this was a sexual adventure, it wasn't a...
02:31Do you know what happened to Captain Webb?
02:32He died?
02:33Yes, I do.
02:33He drowned attempting to swim across the bottom of Niagara Falls.
02:37Congratulations, I give you points for that.
02:38Absolutely right.
02:39Well done.
02:41Yep.
02:44He was addicted to fame.
02:45He became addicted to having to do more and more daring swimming feet.
02:50And there's a statue of him, isn't there, somewhere?
02:52Presumably on the south coast, I don't know.
02:53Under the water.
02:54Under the water.
02:56It's at Idiot's Bend at Niagara.
03:00Did you ever read that book about the history of swimming,
03:03called The Haunt of the Black Masseurs?
03:05It's a very interesting book,
03:06because no one swam, really, before the Romantics.
03:10No, Byron famously swam the Hellas Park.
03:12Exactly.
03:13He said it was the best thing he ever did.
03:14Yes, he did it with a man called Lieutenant Eakinhead.
03:17Oh, all right, you win.
03:18No, no, no.
03:20That's not how this works.
03:22We share.
03:23Yes, I'm sorry.
03:23We share information.
03:24Why is it every fact I give you've got a slightly more impressive one?
03:27No.
03:29So, Alan, let's turn to you anyway.
03:33Alan, who or what is coming tonight?
03:41Oh, I don't know.
03:43Tonight is young, too.
03:45Really?
03:46Let me just say that coming tonight is one word.
03:50Ah.
03:51Coming tonight.
03:51Oh, maybe it's a website.
03:54No.
03:56Oh, dear.
03:57I'm sorry if we looked it up.
04:00Is it a small village?
04:03Yes.
04:04Is it coming tonight as in like kryptonite?
04:06Yes.
04:06Like some sort of a metallic thing.
04:08It's a mineral.
04:09Well done.
04:10I'll give you a couple of points tonight.
04:11Coming tonight.
04:12It is coming tonight.
04:20There's a small town in Massachusetts called Cummington, and they discover the rock there,
04:25which is known as coming tonight.
04:27Other comedy compounds have been named after the diagrams of their molecular structure.
04:32So, what do you suppose this one is called?
04:34Oh, well, you don't have to.
04:38It's the only question I will get right.
04:41It's penguinoni.
04:42Well done.
04:43Brilliant.
04:48That's why penguinoni pasta is that shape as well, isn't it?
04:52And that's why our art and special effects department are reaching for their cards.
04:59They're going to try another one, though, and this time they're going to see if they can hide the answer.
05:02So, what about this one?
05:06Ooh.
05:07It looks like the front of an ant, doesn't it?
05:10Now you're thinking head on.
05:11I'm with you.
05:12Yeah.
05:12Quite frightening, actually.
05:16Well, let's test our art department and see if they can put up the answer for you.
05:19There you are.
05:22There you are.
05:27That is a cyclical compound of arsenic.
05:29It's called arsehole.
05:32There's a thing called moronic acid.
05:34Do you know about that?
05:35To whom will you give moronic acid?
05:38Is it a scientific name for Nuki Brown?
05:40Is that what it is?
05:43Oh, God.
05:45It's from the herb Roost Jovanica and it's given to people with herpes.
05:48Now, Dune, a cuisine question for you.
05:52Have you ever had a deep-fried Mars bar?
05:56I have had a deep-fried curly-whirly.
05:59Have you really?
06:00Yes.
06:01Did you batter it?
06:02It was battered.
06:03In my local chip shop in Fife, you could have the chocolate bar of your choice.
06:08Wow.
06:09You could hold it in the paper and it's, yeah.
06:12I mean, was the batter, did the batter cover it completely or were there still little holes?
06:15No, sadly not.
06:16The pierced effect.
06:16Sadly not the lattice work of beauty.
06:18No.
06:19Just a lump of greasy fat.
06:24Heart attack.
06:25You can stop doing that.
06:26Sadly, really.
06:32But you can get deep-fried salad.
06:36Oh, no.
06:37It's crispy seaweed, otherwise known as.
06:40Oh, good point.
06:41That is deep-fried.
06:41But yes, no, in Scotland you seem to be able to get anything deep-fried.
06:44But there is some evidence that they've been taking on board the government's advice about
06:48health and the Mediterranean diet.
06:50You can get deep-fried pizza as well, can't you?
06:52Yep.
06:53Extraordinary, isn't it?
06:54Have you ever had it?
06:54Well, you've been here many times.
06:55I haven't.
06:56You know, I've heard tell of this strange beast.
06:59Yeah.
07:00And many comedians would do jokes about deep-fried Mars bars, but I never had the courage to
07:05have them.
07:05They're always odd to me, Scottish chip shops generally, you know.
07:08Cadillute.
07:09What?
07:09Well, you know, they say, can I have a fish supper?
07:12Yeah.
07:13And I'm like, well, supper means and chips.
07:18That's right.
07:19So, I kind of thought I'd go in and, you know, ask for a supper supper.
07:25You know, two lots of chips.
07:28But you could also buy individual cigarettes there, so to add insult to injury.
07:32You could also, to add to your heart attack, then buy a single number six and quickly have
07:37it.
07:38Deep-fried.
07:39Deep-fried.
07:40Deep-fried Benson and Hedges are really good.
07:43Everything in there was deep-fried.
07:45Yeah.
07:45You came out, you were deep-fried yourself.
07:48And that is Scottish cuisine.
07:50Yeah.
07:51Is that not a myth, a deep-fried Mars?
07:53Well, no, it isn't a myth.
07:55And that's really why we ask, because some people think it is a myth.
07:57It absolutely isn't a myth at all.
07:58No.
07:58It really, really, really does exist.
08:00I've seen it.
08:00There's one.
08:01All right, let me talk about herpes again.
08:06These are the kind of things you were swimming into when you were...
08:09Deep-fried.
08:10Pretty horrific.
08:12Deep-fried turd.
08:13Yeah, there was a Mark Petty crew of the MRC Social and Public Health Sciences Unit who
08:16surveyed 300 shops.
08:1822% of them sold deep-fried Mars bars.
08:21But they also came across deep-fried cream eggs, ice-cream bananas and Rolos.
08:26And to that we add...
08:28Curly-whirly.
08:29Curly-whirly.
08:30What do they look like again?
08:31I'm not...
08:32There you go, Jim.
08:35In Glasgow, perhaps the least healthy food ever sold is the deep-fried pork sausage kebab.
08:43You take a pork sausage, you wrap it in doughnut kebab meat, coat it in batter and deep-fried.
08:50Oh, stop, I can't wait.
08:51It's 1,000 of your best calories in 46 grams of fat.
08:57Oh.
08:59You know, but if you called it, you know, saucisson en croûte avec un coulis superbe, you
09:08could charge 25 quid for it.
09:09You could.
09:10But instead in Glasgow they call it a stoner.
09:13Do you know what stoner?
09:16Do you know what it means?
09:26Stoner.
09:27I loved...
09:27You know, there's a mother's story about Maggie Smith when she was going to play Miss Jean Brodie
09:32and she was going, oh, God, I can't do a bloody Scottish accent.
09:35And a friend of hers said, well, I've got an aunt who lives in Morningside, which is just
09:38the right area for Jean Brodie, that very refined Scottish accent.
09:42He said, call her up and, you know, offer to take her out to tea.
09:45And so Maggie Smith called up and said, oh, mine's Maggie Smith.
09:48I don't know if you know the novel, The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie.
09:50He said, but I'm playing that character and I'd love to...
09:53Apparently you have a very, very charming Morningside accent.
09:56And I'd like to take you to tea and maybe with a tape recorder.
09:58And there was a very frigid pause.
10:00He said, my dear, I have been told I have no accent, whatever.
10:07Completely insulted.
10:08And there are Scots, I remember talking to one Scot who spoke a form of Scottish
10:13where he was convinced that everyone thought he sounded English.
10:18There is absolutely nothing I am saying which ought to lead you to believe that I am Scottish.
10:23Absolutely every vowel is pure English, and yet it sounded more Scottish
10:27than the worst Glaswegian drunk in a Soho doorway.
10:32There you are.
10:33And you were doing so well.
10:35Yes.
10:36I knew you, eh.
10:38They heard that voice that would cause...
10:41Really, I've got to say, Stephen, it's been a bewildering array of Scottish accent.
10:48Anyway, we moved from Scotland to something quite unconnected, and that's the world of crime.
10:53Now...
10:55Fine, please, let me, oh no.
10:58Anyway, now, although it has been illegal for many, many years,
11:01some tribal authorities in Nigeria still cling to ordeal by bean.
11:08I want to know what that is.
11:11Well, I've certainly had that.
11:13You know when you're stuck on an aeroplane?
11:15Yeah.
11:16And you're forced to watch seven episodes of Mr. Bean.
11:20Ooh!
11:26I'm going to fall back on my usual theory, which is it's going to be inserted about your purse in
11:31some way.
11:32Ooh, it's a nice thought, isn't it, to have a bean popped in, but it's not that.
11:38Is it to find out if ladies are witches, do they force-feed them beans,
11:43and then if they fart, they are witches, and then they die anyway, and that's...
11:47You're absolutely along the right lines. It's that kind of an ordeal.
11:50It's a bean that is so poisonous that one of its seeds is a lethal dose,
11:56and it's a Nigerian tribal custom which is outlawed but still apparently carries on.
12:01If you deep-fried it, would it be all right then?
12:04Would you deep-fry it into submission?
12:07Well, the key of your plan is to eat it very, very quickly.
12:09Do you have deep-fried baked beans? Do they do that?
12:11Ooh.
12:11How do you do them individually?
12:13Well, they've spotted them.
12:15They put them in a polystyrene cup, and then put back around that one.
12:18No, just in the tin.
12:20Just in the tin, they do the whole tin.
12:24I heard that 95% of the baked beans in the world are eaten in Britain.
12:29No-one else eats baked beans apart from the fins or something.
12:3320 fins like a can.
12:37Why can't other bean manufacturers make their beans taste like Heinz beans?
12:42All the other ones you get, if they haven't got Heinz in,
12:45they don't taste what's going on there.
12:47Can't they just get the sauce and do a bit of analysis,
12:50make the same thing?
12:51Are you just after a big shipment of Heinz baked beans?
12:54Is that what...?
12:55It's like pretty brazen that you just product.
12:58As advertisements go,
12:59there are no beans like Heinz, says Alan Davis.
13:08There's no champagne like Krug, that's what I wear.
13:16There's a calabar bean, or a series of them.
13:18So you eat one of them, and you'll die?
13:20Yes, though if you're innocent, apparently the idea is if you eat them very, very, very, very quickly,
13:24really gulp them down, it hits a bit which makes you vomit them up very fast,
13:28whereas if you eat them slowly, they get right into your bloodstream if you chew them.
13:31So in theory, innocent people eat more quickly than guilty people.
13:34And the calabar bean has helped us with anti-tetanus,
13:37and it's an antidote to strychnine.
13:40If someone's dying of strychnine poison...
13:41You give them a lethal bean.
13:44They won't die of strychnine.
13:46Exactly.
13:48They die of calabar.
13:48Yeah, but they might be a witch, so it's good that they die.
13:51That's true.
13:53I knew a witch who was very nice.
13:55Maybe never put a spell on you though, eh?
13:57Or maybe she actually gave me a terrible time, put a spell on me to say what I'm saying now.
14:02Yes.
14:03And she was very nice.
14:05She's like...
14:08I'm not nice at all.
14:12Well, now, um, fourthly, um, as it were, Arthur, why did Big Beard Wang regularly shave his pussy?
14:23Well, I'm afraid I'm disappointed that we've, um, got a cheap laugh from the word pussy.
14:29I'm just like a wang, actually.
14:33I think it's a person, perhaps.
14:35You're right.
14:35Big Beard Wang, who one could assume he had a large beard.
14:41Uh...
14:42And he shaved his cat?
14:44Mmm.
14:45Well, he was a barber.
14:46He was a barber to a very famous man.
14:48Was he a Chinese barber?
14:49He was a Chinese.
14:50An emperor, was there?
14:51A kind of emperor, I suppose, though.
14:53He would certainly not call himself one.
14:55But...
14:55Chairman Mao?
14:55Chairman Mao, indeed.
14:58And Mao is the Chinese for...
15:01Cat.
15:02Cat, exactly.
15:03Meow.
15:04Meow, you would think.
15:05But no, it really is.
15:06Mao is cat.
15:07Is that cat on the end of Chairman Mao's?
15:12That's why I'm smiling.
15:15I don't remember that as one of those communist posters.
15:20It means cat, Mao, and it also means hat, oddly enough.
15:24So, Mao Zha Li Di Mao means the cat and the hat.
15:29The next question is purely a matter of choice for you now.
15:32How old would you like to be, Arthur?
15:35I should like to be six.
15:39Sixty-two?
15:40Sixty-two, I think.
15:41Sixty-two.
15:42No, I'd like to be six because it's marvellous to be six because you're not aware of your own mortality.
15:47You think you're the centre of the universe, days last a hundred years.
15:53It's always summer, you can put your head in some custard and no one cares.
16:01You're arguing a very persuasive case for being six.
16:03You do get a lot of custard when you're six.
16:05You do get a lot of custard.
16:05I haven't had nearly as much custard since I was a child.
16:08No.
16:09I think I probably had most, about 90% of my life's custard I think I had in the first
16:13ten years.
16:15Alan Davis, the custard years.
16:19And the fish finger years as well.
16:21Yeah.
16:22And the baked bean years.
16:26No, I'd like to be 26.
16:28Twenty-six?
16:29Yeah, but that's just because of Denise Batchelor.
16:33She's Denise Batchelor.
16:34Denise Batchelor is somebody I knew when I was 26.
16:37She's marvellous.
16:40Can Batchelor make beans?
16:41That would be even more confusing.
16:42Yeah, but they're not as good as Heinz.
16:43Why aren't they?
16:46Why doesn't someone else go into making beans?
16:48He's not that Heinz, he's Heinz.
16:50Gordon Ramsay, he could do beans.
16:52Gordon Ramsay beans.
16:54Yeah, f***ing beans.
16:55Yeah, f***ing beans.
16:58It's a brilliant idea of a whole new range of Gordon f***ing foods, isn't it?
17:02Fantastic.
17:04And the instructions, they say put them in a f***ing saucepan, you know.
17:13I'm going to drag you back to our question, because I like six.
17:21Andy, what age would you like to be?
17:23I'd like to be 90.
17:25Ninety?
17:25Yeah.
17:26I'd like people to think I was 90, because then you can get away with murder.
17:32Of course, coming with 90, it is essential to say you're 90 all the time.
17:35Yeah, I'm 90.
17:36I'm 90, you know.
17:37I'm 90.
17:39My gran used to add a year, she'd say I'm 75 next year.
17:42You're 74 then, aren't you?
17:4635 was a good year.
17:48I went out with this marvellous woman called Denise Batchelor.
18:00I'd like to be a minute old.
18:05After the smack.
18:08Absolutely newborn baby.
18:10You're straight on the tip, you've got entertainment, you've got sleep, and you can cry all the time
18:17without anyone thinking you're weird.
18:21You lie on a sheepskin, and everyone just goes, you are just beautiful.
18:27And they do that thing onto you, don't they?
18:30Yeah, on your tummy.
18:31Well, you can do that to people again when you're 90.
18:33Yeah.
18:33That's true.
18:36Spend your time on the tit.
18:40Do you know what, according to market researchers data monitor, who interviewed lots and lots
18:45of people, children and adults alike, what the perfect age turned out to be?
18:4925.
18:4924, I was going to say.
18:51Uh, 31.
18:52Uh, 6.
18:55Surprisingly, the answer is 17.
18:58Oh.
18:58Oh, that was a terrible age.
19:0317's terrible age.
19:04Yeah, oh, it was for me.
19:06I had like awful hair, spots, glasses.
19:09Yeah, you were terrible, aren't you?
19:12Awful.
19:13I was in prison.
19:13A complete aroma of the...
19:16That's what happens.
19:18But, um...
19:19And rightly so.
19:20And rightly so, absolutely.
19:22Here's the interesting thing to try and work out.
19:24From a man's point of view, the perfect age for a woman is said to be half his own age,
19:28plus seven.
19:30Right?
19:30So if you're 40 or 27 year old...
19:33So...
19:34Denise Bachelor was 33.
19:35If you're 20, if...
19:37So, you're from me.
19:38That is the perfect age.
19:40Come on.
19:41Well, if you're 20, that means that the girl would be 17, yes? Half your age plus seven.
19:46If you're 13, you'd be 13.
19:50So, ah.
19:51Half your age, well, 13 and a half, wouldn't it?
19:56Yes.
19:57Well, I just haven't heard it.
19:59Oh, try them all together. What do they all sound like together?
20:03One, two, three.
20:08Hmm, maybe not.
20:11Let us move on to a round of general ignorance, fingers on the buzzers.
20:16Show me roughly how big is a platypus.
20:22How about that number?
20:24Whoa!
20:34Well, we're being very technical here.
20:36There's only one thing that's actually technically called the platypus,
20:39and that is actually a beetle.
20:41That's the real platypus.
20:42It was a sort of nickname given to the duck-billed platypus that we still use.
20:46What do you know about the duck-billed kind?
20:47Only found in Australia, lives in the water, got a flat bill on the front like that.
20:52I've seen them in a zoo. There you are, yeah.
20:53They're gorgeous.
20:54They swim about. They're quite frisky. They're very cute, actually.
20:56Well, the first time a stuffed one appeared in Europe. People thought it was just a hoax done by an
21:00Asian taxidermist.
21:01They absolutely refused to believe that it was a real animal. There was a beaver's tail and a duck.
21:05Do you know they used to have a thing in Horniman's Museum?
21:08Oh, that's right.
21:08And they used to have a seal, and it had underneath brackets, badly stuffed.
21:14Sweet.
21:15But they lay eggs, of course.
21:18They're mammals, but they lay eggs.
21:20Are they poisonous?
21:20Are they poisonous?
21:21Now, that's fair. I'm going to give you five points for that, because it's the only mammal on Earth that
21:24has venom,
21:25you know, that is a poison spur. You're quite right.
21:27But which other mammal lays eggs? There's only one other kind. Do you know what?
21:30Crocodile?
21:31No, a mammal.
21:32Okay.
21:35A very, very strange dog.
21:40No, it's a spiny anteater, an echidna.
21:43It's a chicken, not a mammal.
21:46No, it's a bird.
21:51Do you know what?
21:52Mammals are mammals as in mammaries.
21:54Mammals are animals that suckle their young. The point about it is it suckles, it gives off milk.
21:59But unlike most mammals, it doesn't have nipples, a platypus. It sweats milk.
22:06I mean, in a sense, these nipples are kind of like overgrown sebaceous, you know, little sweat glands.
22:11And that's what happened, milk was, and then it just became specialised.
22:15Can you stop doing that?
22:16Sorry.
22:18Anyway, yeah, they're extraordinary creatures either.
22:21Have you ever seen one in the wild?
22:22Never have, I'd love to.
22:23Have you ever been on a safari, Stephen?
22:25Yeah, I've been to see Gorilla and...
22:28To wake up in the jungle is one of the most joyous experiences you can ever have.
22:31I don't know what it is about. The night is horrific. The noise is unspeakable.
22:35I mean, the things that are said, you're just falling off to sleep and someone goes, you know,
22:39Have a nut!
22:40Like that.
22:40And it's an animal of some kind.
22:43And then another one, another one says, My grandmother's dead!
22:47Like this.
22:48Like that.
22:49Like that.
22:49And then, whoop, whoop!
22:51Like this.
22:52And it's all happening this close to you.
22:54And it just goes like this.
22:56That was a great party.
22:58Yeah.
23:00Yeah, you'd better sit on the sofa.
23:03You'd turn a light on and, and, and, and of course, it just, the things fly at you.
23:07Like this hideous, leathery things fly at you.
23:10And it's just unspeakably noisy and horrific.
23:13And you're quivering and you're sweating.
23:15But when you wake up in it, it's amazing.
23:18Everything, I saw all the noises and little liquid warbles.
23:21Exactly.
23:22Exactly.
23:27Anyway, good.
23:27Well done on platypuses.
23:29How many people, next question, fingers on buzzers.
23:31How many people can take part in a dialogue?
23:37Go on.
23:43Two.
23:44Oh!
23:46Is that a duologue?
23:48That's a duologue.
23:49Absolutely.
23:50I mean, of course, two people could be in dialogue.
23:52But, uh, could be one person, could be a hundred.
23:54Dyer is Greek for across or through, not two.
23:58What are the contents of the Queen's handbag?
24:02Oh!
24:04I don't think I've ever seen the Queen get anything out of her handbag.
24:09She's certainly never done that thing that women do, you know, where they go, it's in here somewhere, I know.
24:17So, my suspicion is that she probably has nothing in her handbag.
24:24I think it's probably a kind of social defence.
24:28It means she doesn't have to hold Prince Philip's hand, look.
24:33The Little Book of Calm.
24:37And mace spray.
24:40Because there's a lot of people around her who get too close.
24:43Eat it, hoodie.
24:43There's many big hats.
24:44It's like, you know, back off, back off!
24:49Apparently the Queen does carry money, but a lot of people think she doesn't.
24:52But apparently she, for Sundays, she always has money, an unspecified denomination folded in her handbag there.
24:58And also she has a comb, apparently.
25:01A handkerchief, a small girl compact, and a tube of lipstick.
25:06Maybe she gets upset if she carries a fiver, saying,
25:08God, I used to be so pretty.
25:15She's got a deep-fried curly-wurly in there.
25:17She's got to have some pleasure.
25:19Oh, yes.
25:20She sits in the looch and just eats it.
25:22Oh, yes, like that.
25:23Quietly in the throat.
25:26She crams it all in when no one's looking.
25:30I'm all right.
25:33Now, at the final bell, we wish you to make a glass break.
25:39I think first, in case you manage to do it, you're going to have to put on safety equipment.
25:45Unbelievable.
25:47Oh, no, they're going to have to put on safety equipment.
25:52Oh, no, they're going to have to put on safety equipment.
25:52Oh, they suit you, Dean.
25:54They make you look sort of more academic.
25:57Oh, thank you.
25:58I think you look more like a welder.
26:14Oh, no, no, no, no.
26:18Yes, Alan, I'm afraid, did cheat, because it's almost impossible to do.
26:21This is actually a sugar glass.
26:23Oh.
26:24Oh.
26:25Oh, no, it's a real one.
26:28Yours is real.
26:30What do you do?
26:32I'm lucky to be alive.
26:36I'll be hearing from your solicitor.
26:39If it has caused even a second's misery to the health and safety of people, I'm very pleased.
26:45So, there we are.
26:49The scores, ladies and gentlemen.
26:51In last place, but just, with minus six, is Arthur Smith, ladies and gentlemen.
26:58In third place, with minus four, Alan Davis.
27:04In second place, with minus two, June McKeegan.
27:08And in first place, with five whole points, is Andy Hamilton, ladies and gentlemen.
27:25Well, that is about it from Andy, Arthur, Dune, Alan and me.
27:28I leave you with the wise words of the great Woody Allen.
27:31Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable,
27:35with the possible exception of a moose singing the embraceable you in spats.
27:39Thank you so much.
27:39And if you're watching the events, of course, show me.
27:40I'm good.
27:40Hello.
27:41What do you like?
27:41What is it?
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