09:48Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
10:18Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
10:48Well, the thing is that...
10:49No! No more violence!
10:51I'll go get your money.
10:53That'll do, Hulk.
10:56Wow, 30 bucks.
10:57I can't wait to buy a low-quality jacket 15 years ago.
11:01That trick was kind of stupid and reckless,
11:04but also really amazing.
11:06Well, that's what plays here.
11:07You can keep it.
11:09I know you.
11:09You're juror number eight.
11:11Oh, lawyer guy!
11:12Sorry, I was awake for very little of that trial.
11:15Neat.
11:16I'm Lincoln Gum.
11:18Sheila Flambe.
11:20Magician.
11:21And three-year all-county sex champion.
11:24Look, I was sure I had that case wrapped up, but I lost.
11:28How about I buy you a drink and tell me where I went wrong?
11:30Well, I won't say no to a free drink,
11:33but I warn you, I'm not a very critical person.
11:36And not only is your voice annoying when you're trying to sound smart,
11:39you are boring as hell.
11:40The whole trial, I felt like I was at a funeral for saltine crackers.
11:44Hey, I bet a lot of people would be sad if saltine crackers died.
11:49Peanut butter, for one.
11:50You don't get it, Lincoln.
11:52You're not a New York lawyer, or even an Orlando lawyer.
11:55You're a Vegas lawyer, but you think you're better than Vegas.
11:59I am better than Vegas.
12:00I mean, look at that guy.
12:02Hey, I have feelings.
12:05You know, you're even ruder than all those bus drivers I murdered.
12:08Let me show you what Vegas is all about.
12:11You know what?
12:12Who cares?
12:13No matter what I do, Mom's still gonna be on the volcano toilet.
12:17Volcano toilet?
12:19Barkeep, two shots of your sweetest, cheapest, most neon-colored liquor.
12:26What is this?
12:27And why was there a picture of the Unabomber on the bottle?
12:30You're already asking the wrong questions.
12:33And now to hit the jukebox with some music that screams
12:36while not out in Los Bates.
12:42Egbert!
12:43What?
12:44It's a fun song from a show everyone can enjoy.
12:47Whatever.
12:48Let's drink!
12:50Let's drink!
12:51It's such a crude attitude
12:53It's back where it belongs
12:56All the little chicks with their crimson lips go
13:01Cleveland rocks, Cleveland rocks
13:04Living in sin with a safe defense go
13:07Cleveland rocks, Cleveland rocks, Cleveland rocks
13:12Cleveland rocks, Cleveland rocks
13:17Cleveland rocks, Cleveland rocks
13:21Cleveland rocks
13:22Cleveland rocks, Cleveland rocks
13:25All the little kids going on
13:29Cleveland rocks, Cleveland rocks
13:34Hey, are those pills kicking in?
13:41Uh, I think so
13:44Uh, I think so
14:01I get it!
14:02I get it!
14:07Cleveland rocks, Cleveland rocks
14:09Best night ever, baby
14:11Come on, I just got the perfect idea for an ad for you
14:15Cleveland rocks, Cleveland rocks
14:18Sheila, about this ad?
14:22It kicks ass!
14:30Look, I'm pumped you brought me here to end the night
14:32But why are we eating breakfast at this male strip club?
14:35And not the male strip club two blocks away with the good eggs
14:37Because this is probably my last case
14:40What do you mean, Lincoln?
14:43Lincoln, my mom made me that
14:45After the tallest, best lawyer of all time
14:48I've always tried to live up to the name
14:50Um, I guess it's the name gum I'm having more trouble living up to
14:54Gum, gum
14:55Oh my god, your mom's the, um, um
14:58Nickels and gum
14:59Two things in your pocket
15:01Ha ha!
15:01I lost my virginity to that song
15:03I used to get made fun of for it
15:05And I wanted to be more than a jingle and a funny billboard
15:08Well, I was an assistant for every magic act in town
15:11Greggs and Roberts, Gustav and Clint
15:13Johnny Mutant, the Hell Genius
15:14Even Lunch Me
15:16When I tried to do my own act
15:17Those mystical dickhead magicians blackballed me from their boys' club
15:20Now I'm out in the streets scrapping and zapping
15:23Scrapping and zapping is a thing we say
15:25Wait, that's stupid
15:27I saw your act
15:28You were incredible
15:29You had them eating out of the palm of your, your, uh
15:33What? Ass?
15:34Were you gonna say I had them eating out of the palm of my ass?
15:36Why would you say that?
15:38I've got my mom's lawyer smart
15:41You've got her razzle-matazzle
15:43Together, we could come together to be my mom
15:47Wait a minute, how was yours grosser than mine?
15:50Join my firm as my, I don't know, creative director
15:53Let's team up
15:54Finally, dude!
15:56Yes, obviously!
15:57I need a job that pays more than $30 a day
15:59Also, you seem okay or whatever
16:02Partners?
16:03Partners
16:04Ah!
16:06The old exploding handshake
16:08I've been waiting all night to do that
16:10Very amusing
16:11Now, let's get down to...
16:14So, what's this big case?
16:15One sec, let me get the team here
16:17We have a team?
16:18Are any of them broad-shouldered young Danishmen?
16:21Fresh off the tree farm
16:23Naive to our American ways
16:24Perhaps in need of a firm...
16:26Irene, Clem, meet Sheila Flambe
16:28She's a magician I got drunk with
16:31And now she's gonna join our law firm
16:32Yeah, that makes sense
16:33And here's what we're dealing with
16:36Their car keys?
16:37Do people like that?
16:38Yeah, baby!
16:40Oh, hey, Sheila
16:41Hey, Lunchmeat
16:42Okay, so here's my plan
16:43When the courthouse opens
16:44I'm gonna march right up to the judge
16:47And ask for more time to prepare a case
16:50Lincoln, it's almost like you learned nothing
16:53From getting blackout drunk
16:54And dressing like a giant baby
16:55These jurors
16:56They walk by two burning pirate ships
16:58Ten dancing fountains
16:59And a dead clown on their morning commutes
17:01They're not gonna be oppressed
17:03By some hundred-year-old laws
17:04In a moldy old book
17:05Wait, spectacle?
17:07Hundred-year-old laws?
17:08I think I know how we're gonna win
17:10How?
17:11I'm going shopping
17:19Mr. Gum, we've been waiting for you
17:25And I would be really mad
17:27If you didn't look so awesome!
17:30Hi, Your Honor, thank you
17:32Hello, Lincoln
17:33Where have you been?
17:34Your dead mom's grave?
17:36Cause she's dead
17:36Uh, eat piss, buttwad
17:39Yeah, eat piss
17:41Piss?
17:42Buttwad?
17:43I'm bored!
17:44Opening arguments
17:45Who wants to go first?
17:46How about you?
17:47Happy to
17:48Ladies and gentlemen
17:49And maybe a few not-so-ladies and gentlemen
17:52Of the jury
17:53My opponent is going to try to cloud your brains
17:56With a bunch of boring old laws
17:58And woke mind documents
18:00But he can't change one thing
18:03You know me
18:04From the TV
18:07And you know that after 30 years
18:09I would never steer you wrong
18:11We're the good guys
18:12They're the bad guys
18:13End of story
18:14Get used to it
18:15Yeah!
18:17Born loser
18:22My fellow Vegasians
18:25Vegasians?
18:26Vegasians
18:27We have a saying where I'm from
18:29The law is a lot like the Unabomber
18:32Misunderstood
18:33Probably a little too harsh in its methods
18:35But at the end of the day
18:37It makes a damn fine neon purple ultragid
18:40Oh, I like this guy, too
18:43How many keys were you forced to eat last Friday?
18:47A stripper's dozen
18:48And how many is that?
18:5034
18:51It is 34 keys
18:53Thank you
18:54You brave man
18:55And can you read from section 3, line 42 of your contract?
19:00You've got to eat the keys, my guy
19:03You've simply got to do it
19:05But this is...
19:06No further questions
19:07Stop dodging the question, doctor
19:09Should people eat car keys?
19:12No, no, damn it
19:13They should not
19:14And do you specialize in nutrition?
19:17In problems of the stomach?
19:19No
19:19I'm just a simple brain surgeon
19:23Yes, sir
19:23Kids in my school keep getting sick
19:25We don't know any better
19:27We're all eating keys
19:28Trying to be sophisticated
19:29Like the fancy dancing men
19:30One girl died
19:32She was blonde and everything
19:34Order!
19:35Order!
19:35Order!
19:36Well, this certainly has been a legal battle for the ages
19:40Let's see those closing arguments
19:42But first, how about a round of applause for these boys, huh?
19:46Do you have it?
19:47Yep, here's the gun you had me smuggle into the courtroom
19:50And the book's almost ready
19:51Just remember to cue me
19:53Also, I'm going to tell you now so you can't yell at me
19:56Me and Irene collected all the money we're owed
19:59But then we spent it on these cool gold watches
20:02Let's go!
20:03I've got to see how this ends
20:04Lincoln, you've got him eating out of the palm of your ass
20:07Go kill the king
20:08Yeah, Lincoln
20:10Go
20:10Kill the king
20:12Steve, I don't know what your problem is with me or my mom
20:15But I do know this
20:17Shut up!
20:23Cowboys and cowgirls of the jury
20:25I want to tell y'all a tale of our little city here
20:28Picture a bunch of vaqueros sat around a campfire under a starry sky
20:33What do you think, compadres?
20:36This parcel of land looks suitable like for a town
20:39I reckon it do, Peppy
20:42A wonderful town
20:43Where a feller can get all the sins out of his body
20:47So's that God won't kill him with lightning
20:52I'm dying, hoss
20:56Take my six-shooter
20:58And remember why we founded this town
21:03Remember the spirit of Las Vegas
21:12The spirit of Las Vegas
21:16A place where any old gunslingin' buckaroo with a few coins
21:20Can do any old thing
21:21Well, anything, except
21:30Ma'am, would you mind reading the unbreakable bulletproof law
21:34That stopped my incredible shot?
21:36Furthermore, under protection of strip law
21:38No man may ever be compelled to perform any act
21:41That brings pleasure to a woman in any way!
21:43Ladies and gentlemen, I rest my rootin' tootin' kicks
21:48Holy crap, that kicked ass
21:53We don't even need to hear from the other guy
21:56Cowboy wins!
21:57What?
21:58The jury agrees?
21:59No!
22:00I hereby award the plaintiff
22:03One million dollars
22:06Now release the confetti we saved for special occasions
22:11And that was the scene earlier at the dramatic conclusion
22:14Of the stripper eat keys even though don't want to gate trial
22:17Strip clubs all over the city are checking their contracts
22:20For similar abusive language
22:21Bettering working conditions for all our city's heroic dancers
22:24Some bystanders complained about the trial
22:26Asking questions like
22:28When was the jury chosen
22:29If the lawyers didn't even know about the case until the day before?
22:32Why didn't Lincoln have to enter anything into evidence?
22:34And wasn't this all a bit much?
22:36You can't fire a gun in a courtroom
22:37But they were quickly labeled uptight nerds
22:39And told to sit their candy asses down
22:41In other news
22:42There's a new commercial!
22:44For too long
22:45Vegas has been a graveyard
22:47Where truth goes to die
22:50But now
22:51Ever since he beat the evil Steve Nichols
22:53To save our innocent dancers from key poisoning
22:56Lincoln Gum has been helping the poor and desperate of Las Vegas
23:06I'm Lincoln Gum and I will fight for you
23:10My son is a good lawyer
23:13So I can go to heaven now
23:15The kids of justice will chew you up
23:18Call Lincoln Gum and you'll get out of the works
23:49I'm Meghan
23:50We'll do it
23:50We'll be getting beyond debate
23:51Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
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