00:25I cannot wait to eat the Superman's face!
00:29I want to eat his legs up!
00:33Hey, don't hogs at all, yo!
00:34All I want is the share that is the bear!
00:37I'm not a bear!
00:41Titans! There's only one way to be sure we all receive the same amount of cake!
00:50Fight to the death?
00:51Destroy the world for the creamy icing?
00:54No need to fight or destroy the world when you use...
00:57a ruler!
01:00Ha! What can that dinky little stick of wood do?
01:03Ah! My duodenum!
01:05The one-foot ruler is often taken for granted.
01:08I've seen them, just never used one.
01:10Nor have I!
01:11Question, is this one-foot smelly?
01:14No! It's not an actual foot!
01:16The one-foot ruler is divided into twelve equal sections called inches!
01:20Ooh, so the ruler is boring in twelve different ways. Got it!
01:24Hey! Check it out! It's exactly one inch from the tip of my thumb to the first knuckle!
01:29Cool! We all got built-in rulers, yo!
01:31The thumb knuckles are the way more fun than the ruler!
01:35We will not use thumb knuckles to measure!
01:37Did the founding fathers use thumb knuckles to build America?
01:43Did the Egyptians use thumb knuckles to build the pyramids?
01:48Without the ruler, there would be no civilization!
01:51What are these other lines on the bottom?
01:53Those are metric centimeters, and they are an abomination! Ignore them!
01:57This is all very interesting, but how exactly does this put cake in our faces?
02:02Observe!
02:08Whoa!
02:10Here you go! Five identical six inch by four inch slices!
02:27That was the incredible...
02:29Use a wizard, yo!
02:31Maybe there's something to all this ruler stuff after all!
02:34I'd be happy to teach you! It's easy once you understand...
02:37The basic mathematics!
02:40The first step in learning to use a ruler is getting to know your inch marks.
02:46To continue...
02:48There are four types of inch marks, or lines, on the ruler.
02:51Inches are denoted by these long lines.
02:53Whoa! I hate long lines!
02:55We waited five hours to get onto that new yakkin' krakin' roller coaster!
02:58Uh, still yakkin', yo!
03:11Pay attention!
03:13Half inches are denoted by these medium lines.
03:15Ooh, I knew a medium. Her name was Blanche.
03:18She conjured up my dead goldfish.
03:19Who's a little cutie?
03:24These tiny lines denote a quarter inch, also known as a fourth.
03:27Happy fourth, everybody! Happy fourth!
03:30And the love is here!
03:35Titans, focus!
03:37These eight marks make up one inch on the standard ruler.
03:40They're so tiny and cute, yo! I just wanna kiss them all!
03:43Mwah!
03:45Well, your lips measure six of these little marks, or six eighths of an inch, which reduces down to three
03:50fourths.
03:51This is called a fraction.
03:53Huh, you know, I think this is beginning to make sense.
03:55Man, I'm doing nothing.
03:57Science and math and in math and besides.
03:59Great! But how well do you perform under pressure?
04:02Quickly, Star! Use the ruler to determine Darkseid's height!
04:05It will be the pleasure!
04:07Surrender, Starfire! No one can accurately measure Darkseid!
04:11Lord of Apocalypse!
04:12Well, if I could just...
04:14Quickly, Starfire! The fate of the multiverse depends on a precise answer!
04:18Just give me the minutes!
04:19Measure, Starfire, or face your doom!
04:22Mwah!
04:23I would if...
04:25Starfire, time is running out!
04:27Oh! I just need...
04:28It's too late!
04:29Mwah!
04:31Mwah!
04:34Mwah!
04:35Darkseid is seven and one half inches in length.
04:39Oh, great job!
04:42The yay!
04:43Let's measure some more stuff, y'all!
04:45Yeah!
04:45Yeah!
04:46This papaya is four and seven eighths inches long.
04:49Booyah!
04:50Ooh, Sticky Joe's hat is exactly eight and three quarter inches wide!
04:54Hey!
04:55The scoop, friend, is the five and the one half inches!
05:03Ooh, my chest hair's a quarter inch long, y'all!
05:06You're doing it! You're using rulers!
05:10RULERS RUAL!
05:12RULERS!
05:14Ooh, ooh!
05:16How big that salmon on that roll?
05:17You gotta measure it!
05:19How big that dookie and that bone?
05:20You gotta measure it!
05:22How big that nose up on that trone?
05:24You gotta measure it!
05:25Stop a ruler rolling and boom!
05:26You gotta measure it!
05:28Four and three quarters in the half!
05:29Seven and a turn?
05:30Don't make me laugh!
05:31Ruler don't play no games!
05:32No time!
05:32Measure twice!
05:34How big that beak up on that crone?
05:35You gotta measure it!
05:37How long that hair up in your nose?
05:39You gotta measure it!
05:40How wide that hair up in your clothes?
05:41You gotta measure it!
05:43Stop a ruler rolling and boom!
05:45You gotta measurement!
05:45You gotta make a fit of your hands!
05:48Uh...
05:49rulers are the best!
05:51Yeah...
05:52I love measuring things...
05:56Uh...
05:56Something's wrong!
05:57The couch is longer than my ruler!
05:59Aaaaah!
06:00I too have run out of the inch marks!
06:02Can't this ruler stretch any longer?
06:05We've got to take measuring to the next level, yo!
06:08I don't know if you're ready.
06:10But we've come so far and learned this so much!
06:13There's a whole world out there that's bigger than a foot!
06:16And we want to measure it!
06:19Very well.
06:20Prepare yourselves for the tip measure!
06:26Love those lines!
06:31The couch is exactly 9 feet 3 inches!
06:34Super ruler!
06:36It is super, but the name is tip measure!
06:40Whoa! The TV is 75 inches!
06:44It's 26 inches from my head to my butt, yo!
06:48Friend Robin is exactly 2 feet away from me!
06:52Robin is now appropriately 6 feet and 2 inches away from me!
06:56Yay!
06:58Guys!
06:58Guys!
06:59You ain't gonna believe this!
07:00It's 72 feet, 11 and 7-8 inches from the kitchen to the TV!
07:05Ooh!
07:07Careful, Cyborg!
07:08You're pushing your tape measure to the limit!
07:10Better press the retraction button.
07:12But do it slowly and gently.
07:14Like this?
07:15No!
07:26The tape measure is not a toy!
07:28It can be deadly if used incorrectly!
07:30You must respect its power!
07:32I respect you!
07:33I got mad respect for you!
07:35I love the new and amazing things that measuring has shown us!
07:39Crime alert!
07:41It's a giant meteor!
07:43And it's heading straight for Jump City!
07:45Based on its apparent size and velocity, it'll make contact in 2 minutes!
07:49Jump City is the doomed!
07:52Not necessarily!
07:53If we move the city exactly 17 feet, the meteor will land in the ocean!
07:58But it has to be exact!
07:59Too far and the city will end up in the splash zone!
08:02We can do it!
08:03This is what we've been training for!
08:05Titans, go!
08:16Remember Titans!
08:17Measure twice!
08:18Move the city once!
08:23Whoops!
08:24Way too far!
08:25Better hit my retraction button!
08:26No!
08:27Not the retraction button!
08:36Ah!
08:39Ah!
08:41Ah!
08:42Our tape measures!
08:44Nooo!
08:48What are we gonna do?
08:50There's still time to measure 17 feet!
08:53How?
08:54We don't have our tape measures!
08:56But we do have our thumb knuckles!
09:00That's right, Yo!
09:01Yo, that's built-in rulers!
09:03No thumb knuckles!
09:04But it's the only way, bro!
09:05Yes, and by my calculations, 17 feet is the 204 thumb knuckles.
09:12Then what are we waiting for?
09:14Fine. Titans, measure!
09:17One thumb knuckle.
09:18Two thumb knuckles.
09:20Three thumb knuckles, yo!
09:35Two hundred three thumb knuckles, two hundred four thumb knuckles, move the city!
09:51We did it! Jump City is safe!
09:53And it is all thanks to the power of the thumb knuckle!
09:57All right!
09:58Now we just watch as the meteor passes over us and plunges harmlessly into the sea.
10:11What happened, yo?
10:13I'll tell you what happened. We tried to measure without a ruler.
10:16Nah, bro. We messed it up because you used your incredibly tiny baby thumb to measure.
10:23I do not have a baby thumb!
10:25Friend Robin's thumb is just half the thumb knuckle.
10:30There is no...
10:32For a ruler!
10:39I do not have a baby thumb knuckle.
10:40I do not have a baby thumb knuckle.
10:41I do not have a baby thumb knuckle.
10:44I do not have a baby thumb knuckle.
10:46I do not have a baby thumb knuckle.
10:50I do not have a baby thumb knuckle.
10:50I do not have a baby thumb knuckle.
10:50I do not have a baby thumb knuckle.
10:51I do not have a baby thumb knuckle.
10:51I do not have a baby thumb knuckle.
10:52I do not have a baby thumb knuckle.
10:52I do not have a baby thumb knuckle.
10:53You
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