- 2 days ago
First broadcast 11th October 1970.
It's career day at Fenn Street School and Mr Hedges gives a demonstration on how to behave in an interview.
John Alderton - Bernard Hedges
Deryck Guyler - Norman Potter
Noel Howlett - Mr. Cromwell
Joan Sanderson - Doris Ewell
Richard Davies - Mr. Price
Erik Chitty - Mr. Smith
Liz Gebhardt - Maureen Bullock
Penny Spencer - Sharon Eversleigh
Peter Cleall - Eric Duffy
Malcolm McFee - Peter Craven
Peter Denyer - Dennis Dunstable
David Barry - Frankie Abbott
Campbell Singer - Recruiting Sgt. 'Banger' King
Lindsay Campbell - Mr. Sibley
Suzanne Heath - The Secretary
Michael Burroughs - Alan - Man waiting for interview
George Georghiou - Pupil in black jacket
Kristin Hatfield - Pupil in red top
Aziz Resham - Pupil in blue top
Gregory Scott - Mr. Wyatt
Suzanne Togni - Pupil in pink top
It's career day at Fenn Street School and Mr Hedges gives a demonstration on how to behave in an interview.
John Alderton - Bernard Hedges
Deryck Guyler - Norman Potter
Noel Howlett - Mr. Cromwell
Joan Sanderson - Doris Ewell
Richard Davies - Mr. Price
Erik Chitty - Mr. Smith
Liz Gebhardt - Maureen Bullock
Penny Spencer - Sharon Eversleigh
Peter Cleall - Eric Duffy
Malcolm McFee - Peter Craven
Peter Denyer - Dennis Dunstable
David Barry - Frankie Abbott
Campbell Singer - Recruiting Sgt. 'Banger' King
Lindsay Campbell - Mr. Sibley
Suzanne Heath - The Secretary
Michael Burroughs - Alan - Man waiting for interview
George Georghiou - Pupil in black jacket
Kristin Hatfield - Pupil in red top
Aziz Resham - Pupil in blue top
Gregory Scott - Mr. Wyatt
Suzanne Togni - Pupil in pink top
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:20The Lone Ranger
00:36Right, 5C. Have you all got that written down?
00:38Yes, sir.
00:40All right, now, we're going to divide that sentence into components.
00:44Abbott, read that out, would you, please?
00:45Natch.
00:47The...
00:48The...
00:50Something...
00:50I can't read me writing.
00:53You've only just written it down, Abbott. Have you got them easier as well?
00:56Yeah, I expect I have.
00:57Oh, let me read it, sir.
00:59Good boy, Dennis. Good boy. All right.
01:01The little brown mouse jumps quickly, squeak, squeak.
01:10Well, without the squeak, Dennis.
01:14So, in fact, it is the definite article, little adjective.
01:20Yeah, that's my book.
01:22Teacher's perk, Shannon.
01:23Brown adjective.
01:25Mouse.
01:26Noun.
01:27Jumps.
01:27Verb.
01:28Quickly.
01:29Adverb.
01:31Right, have you all got the idea?
01:35Well, er, let's try another one, then.
01:38Um, write this down, would you?
01:41The blackboard is hanging off the wall.
01:45And Porter should have bloody well fixed it for now.
01:50All right, Duffy.
01:52Let's try a blackboard, shall we, Duffy?
01:53Let's try a backboard.
01:54Black adjective.
01:56Bold noun.
01:57No.
01:58It is.
01:59It isn't.
01:59Look, I'm telling you, aren't I?
02:01Black ball.
02:02It's all one word.
02:03Not the way over, isn't it?
02:04Well, me.
02:05You're right, Eric.
02:06He's not right.
02:07I'm right.
02:07But, does Anthony ruin this page?
02:09Oh, just shut up, Sharon.
02:10I've got it, ain't I?
02:11What have you got?
02:12The little brown house jumps quickly.
02:17Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
02:20That's probably how that blackboard got broken, you know.
02:23Well, at least I'm keeping you in work, aren't I?
02:25Yeah.
02:25All right, Pinesy.
02:27I've decided.
02:30This is my timetable.
02:31Now, I want you all to watch what I'm going to do.
02:37Oh, gross.
02:38Oh, well done.
02:40All right.
02:44I can make pennies come out of people's ears, you know.
02:47It's a pity you can't fix blackboards, isn't it?
02:50Now, I shall not be needing this timetable anymore
02:53because I will not be taking you for any more lessons as such.
02:57You're not handing this over to old mother you.
02:59Miss Ewell, and no, I'm not.
03:01I said lessons as such.
03:03Now, in a few short weeks,
03:05you will all be leaving Fen Street for good.
03:08Now, it seems to me that I can't possibly teach you enough
03:11academically to make a heap of difference.
03:12What I can do
03:14is to help prepare you
03:15for the big, cruel world outside
03:17in terms of your careers.
03:19I approve.
03:20Well, that makes it all right, doesn't it?
03:22Yes, because a career in the army is second to none, you know.
03:25And I am the lad, well, who can pull strings.
03:28I'll get on to that straight away.
03:29I didn't say anything about armies.
03:30You did, you know.
03:31You said careers.
03:32He's not getting me in khaki, Andes.
03:36Then he said a career, didn't he,
03:38with Clark Eder Ragman.
03:39Hey, foul rumba!
03:41That's right, only you put the skids under it.
03:44I used to like shouting that.
03:45All right, all right, Dennis,
03:46but I am talking about the future.
04:00Careers?
04:03And how many of you have actually thought about that?
04:06For instance, Sharon,
04:08what would you like to do when you leave school?
04:10Well, I might work down Woolworths for a while.
04:13Not for long.
04:14I'm thinking of getting married.
04:16You're a bit previous, aren't you?
04:18All right, all right, all right.
04:20Craven, what about you?
04:22I want to be a masseur.
04:24A masseur?
04:25Good.
04:26Well, I don't know much about masseurs, Craven,
04:28but I can find out for you
04:31in a ladies' sauna bath.
04:36Put me down for a private detective
04:38and don't cross it out
04:39or you'll get a boist from the Luger.
04:41Oh, you've got some pea shooter.
04:42Poison peas, ain't I?
04:44Abbott.
04:45Yeah?
04:46Oh, holy strife!
04:47Maureen.
04:49Maureen, what about you?
04:50It's come to me in the last few days
04:52what I want to be, sir.
04:54A bride of Christ.
05:07My word.
05:09A nun.
05:10Well, again, I don't find myself
05:12knowing very much about that sort of thing,
05:14but it's a wonderful profession, isn't it?
05:16Calling?
05:17Calling, yes, calling, calling, calling.
05:19Yes, of course, they don't get paid, do they?
05:28That's kind of like off the rebound
05:30you getting engaged, that is.
05:33Well, well.
05:34Sister Maureen, eh?
05:36I've decided what I want to be.
05:38Yes, what's that, Sharon?
05:39A stripper.
05:40Yeah.
05:42Look, look, Sharon,
05:43don't you think a dancer is more respectable?
05:46I used to hear it echo
05:47right down Ethnal Street sometimes.
05:49What's that, Dennis?
05:50Hey, bow, run, bow!
05:54Dennis, don't you think
05:55you could think of something else
05:57that you'd rather be?
05:58Oh, I have.
05:59Oh, good.
06:00What?
06:01A horse.
06:06Where are you going to, my pretty maid?
06:08I'm going milking, sir, she said.
06:10You said that very prettily, Doris.
06:12And how are things going on the career officer's front?
06:15Mr Sibley is coming along this afternoon,
06:17a most charming man, charming.
06:19Good man, Doris.
06:20Well, you won't need me,
06:21so I'll melt away into the background of my study.
06:23Oh, I'm afraid you can't.
06:25I've assigned your study to Mr Sibley.
06:26Oh, have you?
06:27He won't touch my rubber plant, will he?
06:29Oh, I'm sure he won't.
06:30Well, in that case,
06:31I'll gather my impedimenta
06:32and fade into the staff room.
06:34Oh, you couldn't fade anywhere, Morris.
06:36You're such a very solid edifice.
06:39But remember, Doris,
06:41an edifice needs a solid foundation.
06:43Massive, like you.
06:49So that's the permissive society, is it?
06:53Poor Doris.
06:54You know, if for a feminine equivalent of Achilles,
06:57Cromwell would be her heel.
06:58Well, she should go to a chiropodist
07:00and have him cut off.
07:05You know, she's so sensible about everything else
07:08that he does.
07:09What happens above?
07:10Oh, bloody hell.
07:13I've locked you sideways, am I, eh?
07:15This is my bonfield.
07:17This is supposed to be a staff room,
07:19not an army recruiting centre.
07:20What are we going to have next?
07:21The mass band of the Brigade of Guards
07:23counter-marching in the hall?
07:25Well, they're at Earl's Court this week, aren't they?
07:27But I'm doing something, you know.
07:28I'm not like certain teachers.
07:29No names, no packed room.
07:31Oh, don't be so stupid.
07:32We've got a careers officer coming.
07:33And anyway, Hedges is doing whatever Hedges does
07:35on occasions like this.
07:36And Smithy has unearthed
07:38the original fencing careers department.
07:40A very comprehensive little system, this.
07:42Ah, how would you like to join London Transport, young man?
07:45A tram driver can now earn up to
07:47£4.10 a week.
07:50I think Monty and I have proved our point.
07:53Then perhaps the two of you
07:54would kindly remove this cardboard cattery.
07:57Oh, Dale.
07:58Well, when you insult the army, you know,
08:00you insult me.
08:01And you wouldn't be standing where you are now
08:02if it wasn't for me.
08:04I went.
08:05And I and my whole generation went, Potter.
08:09To a little skirmish you may have heard
08:10are called the Great War.
08:13Oh, yes.
08:13Well, I mean, you and I were on the same side,
08:15weren't we?
08:15I mean, you know how wonderful it was.
08:17Wonderful?
08:18Don't look a damn fool.
08:19There was nothing wonderful
08:21about the trenches of the barbed wire.
08:23Your experiences were probably gained
08:25almost entirely in the bordellos of Cairo.
08:30And I was in the auxiliary fire service.
08:35I got bitten by a camel in Cairo, you know.
08:39So, whether, in fact, you want to be a nun,
08:43a prime minister,
08:44or a glass eye manufacturer,
08:47it's more than likely...
08:48Winnie, Winnie.
08:49Or a horse, Dennis.
08:50Or a horse.
08:52It's more than likely that your first step
08:54in this direction
08:55would be an interview.
08:56Right?
08:57Right.
08:58OK.
08:58Craven, bring your chair out here, will you?
09:00What are you going to do?
09:01Just bring it out.
09:02I'm going to show you
09:03how to behave at your first interview.
09:05Right?
09:06Now, now, Craven,
09:08you will be the interviewer,
09:09and I shall be the interviewee.
09:14Right.
09:14So, I have arrived for the interview
09:17with my Macintosh neatly folded over my arm,
09:20my hair properly parted,
09:21and I knock at the door.
09:24Ready, Craven?
09:25Yeah.
09:27Wait.
09:31Now, if the interviewer
09:33should ask you to wait,
09:35of course, you wait in the corridor,
09:36quietly,
09:37not getting flustered,
09:39confidently,
09:39and very patiently.
09:47All right, tell me to come in,
09:48will you, Craven?
09:49Hi.
09:54Good afternoon.
09:56My name is Hedges.
09:57You're late.
09:57I'm not late!
09:58You mustn't shout at him.
10:00He's your governor.
10:03Good afternoon.
10:04My name is Hedges,
10:05and good gracious me,
10:06I'm right on time.
10:07Hang on,
10:08are you coming as a dancer
10:09or as a glass eye manufacturer?
10:11Oh, the glass eye manufacturer.
10:13Typical.
10:14Yeah.
10:15It's a man's world,
10:16isn't it, Sharp?
10:16Mm.
10:17Why can't you come as a dancer?
10:18Yeah, good.
10:21All right.
10:22All right.
10:23I'll come as the dancer.
10:25Right.
10:26Which means, Craven,
10:27of course,
10:27that you will be the,
10:28a theatrical producer.
10:29Hey!
10:30I want you to take this
10:31very seriously, Craven,
10:32because this is very important.
10:34Uh, all right.
10:35Now, the, uh,
10:36the same thing applies.
10:38It doesn't, sir.
10:39The average woman
10:39doesn't carry a Macintosh
10:40over her arm.
10:41Oh.
10:42Nah.
10:42For what, then?
10:43Handbag?
10:44Yeah!
10:45You've got my handbag?
10:46Yeah!
10:47You've got your little
10:48right, can't you, sir?
10:49Right.
10:49All right.
10:50Handbag.
10:52Right.
10:55Come in.
10:59Good afternoon.
11:00My name is Bernadette Hedges.
11:06Now, I, I sit down,
11:09uninvited, because I'm a girl.
11:11Oi!
11:11You're flashing your pins,
11:13Bernadette.
11:14Oi!
11:15Oh.
11:19Knees together,
11:20handbag resting on the knees,
11:21and I say directly and to the point,
11:23Mr Craven,
11:24I have come in answer
11:26to your advertisement
11:26in the stage.
11:27Well now, Bernadette,
11:29what was your last job?
11:30I was in a ballet.
11:32Oh, no, no,
11:33that's fair.
11:34That's fair.
11:35And, uh,
11:36what part did you dance, Bernadette?
11:38Good question.
11:39Good question.
11:39Uh,
11:40I danced, uh,
11:42the Sugar Plum Fairy, yes?
11:44I ask,
11:44because we aren't thinking
11:45of including a ballet sequence
11:47in the show
11:47we're putting together.
11:48Excellent.
11:49You see,
11:49we are getting somewhere.
11:50Right.
11:52What was the question?
11:53Your, uh,
11:54costume as the Sugar Plum Fairy?
11:56Yes.
11:57Uh, yes,
11:57I wore a rather nice,
11:59uh,
12:00light blue,
12:00tight-fitting sort of bodice
12:02with a sort of, uh,
12:03frilly,
12:04sort of short,
12:04um,
12:05now what would that be,
12:06Sharon?
12:07A frou-frou?
12:07Yes.
12:08Yes, uh,
12:09with a frou-frou.
12:10I see.
12:10Have you done any
12:12modern ballet at all?
12:13Ah, yes, indeed.
12:14Yes,
12:14I have danced Mishka
12:16in Slaughter
12:16on the 13th Avenue.
12:18Oh!
12:18No, no,
12:19that's fair.
12:20Um,
12:21now,
12:21would you be opposed
12:22to wearing
12:23a painted body stocking?
12:29Well,
12:29if,
12:30if the part
12:31called for it
12:32and it wasn't too,
12:33um,
12:34no.
12:35Good,
12:35because
12:36I can see you
12:37as the serpent
12:38in our Garden of Eden
12:39sequence.
12:40No,
12:41I'm sure
12:42if you gave me the chance
12:42I wouldn't let you down.
12:44Good girl,
12:45Bernadette.
12:47There's, uh,
12:48just one more thing.
12:49Yes?
12:49Get him off
12:50and do a bit.
12:50Let's see what you're made of.
12:53Check that.
12:54Hi.
12:58I
12:58will interview Abbott.
13:00Right.
13:01I ain't carrying me,
13:03Mac.
13:03I'm wearing it
13:04with that collar
13:05churned up.
13:06I'll come out,
13:08I'll turn round,
13:09I'll knock
13:09on the door.
13:11Come in.
13:11Hang about.
13:15All right,
13:15come in,
13:16Abbott,
13:16will you?
13:20Okay,
13:21Mr. Big,
13:22what's with the
13:23noise-a-roo
13:23and the paper?
13:28Duffy.
13:29Duffy,
13:30would you please
13:30come and give me a hand?
13:31Sorry,
13:31Chief,
13:32I'd like to help you.
13:32I've got to shoot off there.
13:34Shoot off?
13:34Where to?
13:34Got an interview,
13:35haven't I?
13:36Hey,
13:36don't you know
13:36we're doing interviews now?
13:37Nah,
13:38this is a real one.
13:38I wrote off
13:39for this job
13:40the other day.
13:41I had in the Guardian,
13:42it was.
13:43Oh,
13:43good.
13:43Good,
13:44what for?
13:44Area manager
13:45for a market
13:46research company.
13:47Miles.
13:48Oh,
13:48neat,
13:48Eric,
13:48that and half
13:49a posh place.
13:50And,
13:51er,
13:52I'll,
13:53er,
13:53bear in mind
13:54what you said
13:55about the handbag,
13:55Chief.
14:28send in the next.
14:35Mr.
14:36Mr.
14:36Overton,
14:36please.
14:43Don't tell me,
14:44229.
14:45What?
14:46What do you mean?
14:47First free of your phone number,
14:49Bayswater.
14:50You look as though you could hold down
14:51being Bayswater to me.
14:52Well,
14:52I'm not.
14:54I'm far for two,
14:55actually,
14:55Liberty.
14:56What did you say
14:57the last four numbers was?
14:58You've got a nerve.
15:01227-0,
15:01if you must know.
15:04Give you a tinkle,
15:05won't I,
15:05eh?
15:10Whoa.
15:11Now,
15:12I scored there.
15:13What?
15:14Er.
15:15Oh,
15:16well done.
15:17Snare?
15:18Oh,
15:19thanks,
15:19I've been going like a chimney.
15:25Looks a bit fierce in there.
15:27Bit of a bastard,
15:29is he,
15:29eh?
15:29Sounds it.
15:30Good.
15:30The chap before last
15:31had six A-levels.
15:33Didn't last 30 seconds.
15:35A-levels?
15:37You got any?
15:38Only four.
15:39You?
15:41I've got a certificate
15:42for swimming a width.
15:46Next one.
15:47Mr. Duffy.
15:49Good luck.
15:50Sure.
16:00Fancy coming out
16:01with a turned-down
16:01area manager?
16:12Ah,
16:13pothead.
16:14Do you think
16:15there'll know I'm in here
16:16now you've put the sign up?
16:17Oh,
16:18bar to a banger,
16:18me old son,
16:19and I've advertised you,
16:20you know,
16:20all over the law corridor.
16:22Oh,
16:22have you?
16:23You know,
16:23I had hoped
16:24that the headmaster
16:25haven't agreed to me
16:26coming here.
16:27I would have a pucker office,
16:29not a manky little cupboard.
16:30Yes,
16:31well,
16:31you know what you used
16:32to say,
16:32banger,
16:33you know,
16:33if need be,
16:34a desert rat
16:34can feel upon
16:35a Muppet Jerry's
16:36gun battle.
16:37Oh,
16:38I don't remember
16:39ever having said that.
16:40Oh.
16:41Well,
16:41I'll tell you
16:41what I did say,
16:42though.
16:43Fall in the nappy girls,
16:45I'm on the knock.
16:47Oh,
16:47yes.
16:50Who are you talking about?
16:54Well,
16:54I blew up
16:55char.
16:56Oh,
16:56yes,
16:57on the double.
16:57Yes.
16:58Old Pull Through Rogers
16:58used to say that,
16:59didn't he?
17:00Oh,
17:00no,
17:01he never.
17:02That was A.W.O.L.
17:03Wallace.
17:04Oh,
17:05yeah,
17:05well,
17:05I'll make the tea.
17:09I told you I'd open by.
17:20Hello,
17:21lad.
17:23Well,
17:24it's a grand life
17:25in the army.
17:26There,
17:26just me.
17:28Now then,
17:31big lad
17:31for your age,
17:32ain't you,
17:32eh?
17:35Pity about the windows,
17:36though,
17:36I might have put you
17:37down for the guards.
17:38Well,
17:38now,
17:39what about the sappers?
17:40How about that?
17:40Do you fancy the sappers,
17:41do you?
17:42No,
17:42it would have to be
17:43the guards or nothing.
17:44Oh,
17:44no,
17:44no,
17:44no,
17:45you can't,
17:45because you wear glasses.
17:46Well,
17:47catering call,
17:47any good?
17:48Couldn't I wear a bear skin?
17:49That's the guards.
17:50Guards,
17:50yes,
17:51join the guards.
17:51You can't wear glasses
17:53in the guards.
17:54The only way you can wear glasses
17:56in the guards
17:56is if you're a bandsman.
17:58Oh.
17:58Here,
17:59do you play an instrument?
18:00Oh,
18:01yes,
18:01yes,
18:01I do.
18:01Ah,
18:02good.
18:02What?
18:02A grand piano.
18:05Now,
18:06you've started me eye twitching.
18:08I should get a pair of glasses
18:09if I was you.
18:19Potter has absolutely pitied
18:21this wall with the drawing pins.
18:23Looks like a piece
18:23of grilled cheese.
18:25And that musical joke
18:26of a sergeant
18:27he set up in the broom cupboards,
18:28the bloody idiot.
18:29He referred to the Welsh guards
18:30as foreign mercenaries.
18:32Oh,
18:32now,
18:33rich chaps,
18:33Dolce,
18:34Dolce.
18:34Potter's taken a lot of trouble
18:35and I thought it only fair
18:36to back him.
18:37Oh,
18:37I'll bark him
18:38over beachy head.
18:40Pricey,
18:41you're a compendium
18:42of Celtic comic cuts.
18:43Really,
18:43you are.
18:44I've installed
18:45Mr Sibley
18:46in your study,
18:47headmaster.
18:47Uh-huh.
18:48Now,
18:49quickly,
18:49he wants some scrap paper.
18:51Oh,
18:51that's mine.
18:52There's plenty more
18:53in the store cupboard.
18:56I see.
18:57So,
18:58Mr Sibley
18:59warrants
18:59face powder,
19:00does he?
19:00What?
19:01Nothing.
19:03Nice chap,
19:04is he,
19:04Monsieur?
19:05Charming.
19:06Who?
19:07Mr Sibley,
19:08what's it feel like
19:09working in harness
19:10with someone from outside?
19:11Very refreshing.
19:13Oh,
19:13I wonder if he'd like
19:14a biscuit with his tea.
19:15Oh,
19:15I'll go.
19:16I'll ask him.
19:17Aye,
19:18aye,
19:18the woodland rapture's out,
19:19heavy artillery running.
19:21Trained on Mr Sibley,
19:23one assumes.
19:24As far as I'm concerned,
19:25it's only just a nasty pill.
19:28Yes,
19:295C,
19:29is that you go along
19:30to see Mr Sibley
19:31in groups of three.
19:32All right,
19:32first three,
19:33lead off.
19:36Well,
19:36how would you like to go then?
19:37Alphabetically then,
19:38Abbott?
19:41Well,
19:42is there a sort of question
19:42you'd like to ask me
19:44before you go?
19:45Yeah.
19:46What's the point?
19:47Good gracious,
19:48Craven,
19:48we've been through this
19:49many times before.
19:50Mr Sibley is a professional
19:51careers officer.
19:52He can be very helpful to you.
19:54Well,
19:54I bet he couldn't turn me
19:56into a horse.
19:58Dennis,
20:00now,
20:00I can understand you
20:01wanting to be a horse.
20:02I mean,
20:03that's a very nice thing
20:03to want to be,
20:04but it's not a career,
20:06is it?
20:06I know that.
20:09I'm not silly.
20:12I'd just like to be one.
20:14Look,
20:15sir,
20:15I'll go if you like,
20:17but Mr Sibley's
20:18hardly like this
20:18to have any leaflets
20:19on none,
20:20is he?
20:20Well,
20:21you never can tell,
20:22Maureen.
20:22Look,
20:22Chief,
20:23you're flogging a dead horse.
20:24We don't need
20:24a careers officer.
20:25We can manage
20:26perfectly well
20:27on our tod.
20:28That's utterly true.
20:29You're saying utterly
20:29again, Sharon.
20:30Well,
20:31look at Eric.
20:31He's gone off
20:32and got himself
20:32a job all by himself.
20:34Utterly easy.
20:37Hooray!
20:47Make them toe the line,
20:48did you, Eric?
20:49What they give you,
20:50then?
20:50Size nine
20:51up the behind.
20:52Did you get it out?
20:52Of course he did.
20:53I didn't,
20:54Dean.
20:55I'm sorry,
20:56Duffy.
20:57What was the trouble?
20:58Bleeding A-levels
20:59flying about
21:00all over the place
21:01like a swarm of bees.
21:02Why,
21:02didn't you hit someone?
21:03That weren't
21:04the qualifications
21:05I was looking for,
21:06prune.
21:07Now,
21:08look,
21:08Duffy,
21:08there's a Mr Sibley
21:09in the headmaster's study,
21:11a professional careers officer.
21:12Now,
21:12why don't you go
21:13and have a chat with him?
21:14I'm sure he could be
21:15of some help.
21:15You really believe that?
21:18Yes,
21:18I do.
21:20Wouldn't do no harm,
21:28I suppose.
21:29Yay!
21:35Four and nine boats.
21:38And then,
21:39you see,
21:39since mother's illness,
21:40I haven't been near
21:42the festival hall.
21:43Oh,
21:44I could leave her,
21:45of course.
21:45I'm not tied to the house,
21:47but...
21:47I do understand.
21:49It's always a very difficult
21:50situation,
21:51that one.
21:52You know,
21:52this is an absolute
21:53departure for me.
21:55I never talk to anyone
21:56like this.
21:56Then we must have
21:57an empathy.
21:58Whatever it is,
21:59Miss Ewell,
22:00I've enjoyed
22:01talking to you.
22:04My word,
22:05look at the time.
22:06I really must...
22:07I'm sorry
22:08there haven't been
22:08more people,
22:10customers,
22:10children.
22:12My word.
22:13Monsieur.
22:14Yes?
22:16Have dinner with me
22:17this evening.
22:18Me?
22:18Why?
22:19You mustn't say why,
22:20as though you're
22:21the last person
22:22on earth
22:22of anyone
22:22you should ever
22:23want to ask.
22:24I'm sorry.
22:25I've forgotten
22:26how to respond
22:26to invitations
22:27like that.
22:28As I said,
22:29this mother,
22:30oh,
22:30I know she doesn't
22:31really need...
22:33I'd like to come.
22:35Very much indeed.
22:36Fine.
22:37Mr. Sip.
22:38Oh,
22:38sorry,
22:39Miss Ewell.
22:40No,
22:40no,
22:40come in.
22:42Good boy,
22:42Eric.
22:43That's a fine
22:43example.
22:44Good boy.
22:45Good boy.
22:47Well,
22:47young man,
22:49I keep telling you,
22:51once you've been
22:51trained,
22:52you'll be a member
22:52of a crew.
22:53Oh,
22:53on a one-man tank.
22:55We haven't got none.
22:56What,
22:56how about an atomic
22:57raft with a death ray gun?
22:59This is the British
23:00Army,
23:00not the American.
23:01I saw it in an
23:02English comic.
23:04Yeah,
23:05what's wrong
23:05with your face?
23:07Nothing.
23:09Oh,
23:09blimey,
23:10the other one's
23:10started now.
23:12Albert,
23:12out.
23:14Sergeant Major,
23:15you don't want him.
23:15He's too young.
23:17Anyway,
23:17he'd never pass the medical,
23:18he's mad.
23:19Hasn't signed anything,
23:20has he?
23:21Ha-ha,
23:22you're joking.
23:23We may be shorter men
23:24in the Army,
23:25but we're not that desperate.
23:26I wouldn't mind,
23:27I mean,
23:27I wouldn't mind
23:27if he joined the
23:27Foreign Legion,
23:28it's just that I'd have
23:29to explain things
23:30to his mother.
23:30Oh,
23:30of course,
23:31you're a teacher,
23:31Angel,
23:32yes.
23:32I should have realised that.
23:33I'm sorry I tried
23:34to get you in the sappers.
23:35That's all right.
23:36No,
23:36no,
23:36no,
23:36no,
23:36very silly of me.
23:37That'd be no good anyway.
23:38Haven't the strength,
23:39the sap?
23:41No,
23:41of course not.
23:42Yeah.
23:43Now,
23:43what about the Education Corps?
23:44That's right up your alley.
23:45Well done.
23:46Now,
23:46look,
23:46it wouldn't matter
23:47about the glasses,
23:48they may be an advantage.
23:49Glasses make the bloke
23:50look clever.
23:50No,
23:51no.
23:51Now,
23:51look,
23:52lad,
23:52don't be asked,
23:52you was on about
23:53the guards,
23:54wasn't you?
23:54Well,
23:55look here,
23:55we might be able
23:56to get your
23:56contact lenses.
23:58APPLAUSE
24:49Thank you very much.
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