- 10 minutes ago
First broadcast 26th November 2004.
Stephen Fry
Alan Davies
John Sessions
Rich Hall
Josie Lawrence
Stephen Fry
Alan Davies
John Sessions
Rich Hall
Josie Lawrence
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Well, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, and welcome to another glamour-filled QI Night of a Thousand
00:07Stars.
00:08Spread-eagled on my casting couch are Josie Lawrence, the stunning Johnny Sessions, the gorgeous, pouting Rich Hall, and Aaron
00:22Davis.
00:27Well, let's see you toy with your globes, girls. See if anyone rings my bell. Rich.
00:35And Johnny. And Josie. And Aaron.
00:41Well, hello. Ding, dong.
00:44Oh, there we are. Fair enough.
00:48And so to question one, what eat clothes? Ding, dong.
00:55I don't know, I just wanted to do that.
00:58What eats clothes? Moths eat clothes.
01:01Moths?
01:01Yes.
01:05Oh, no, they don't.
01:07They make holes in them, though, don't they?
01:08Not moths, no, they're larva. They're little caterpillars do, but not the moths.
01:13You see?
01:14You see?
01:16Lava.
01:19So by the time you see a moth, it's too late.
01:22And you very rarely do. They're only a quarter of inch long, the actual moths.
01:26Supposedly, there are fewer of them due to synthetic materials, which they don't eat, and dry cleaning.
01:30If you dry clean something, it works as well as a moth ball.
01:33Really?
01:33That campfer naphthalene smell.
01:35I don't think I've ever smelt one.
01:37It's horrible. It's like a dead body.
01:39So I've got a moth ball in this hand and a moth ball in that hand. What have I got?
01:42Two moth balls.
01:44A rather excited moth.
01:46Oh, right.
01:49Sorry, I thought you were literally asking.
01:51No, it's all right.
01:53I've never smelt a dead body, either.
01:55No, I've never seen a dead body.
01:57They say policeman things. Once you've smelt death, it's just...
02:00It's idiot.
02:00It never gets out of your nostrils.
02:01But I'll tell you something quite interesting.
02:03Yeah.
02:03It's that leopards eat rotting flesh. They don't mind it. Cheetahs will only eat fresh.
02:12Really?
02:13They eat when they've killed, there and then. And they eat as quickly as they can, because otherwise a lion
02:18will come over and have it off them.
02:20But the leopard will drag something up into the tree and leave it there, days on end, go back, have
02:25a bit more. Even if it's green and maggot-y.
02:29There's a new theory.
02:30But Tyrannosaurus Rex being a scavenger, not in fact going and attacking big, hairy-arsed monsters, but waiting until they
02:37were dead and rotting like an old stilton, and then eating them.
02:39Yeah.
02:40In Jurassic Park 2, a Tyrannosaurus Rex eats a man who's sitting on the loo.
02:47That's right.
02:48Do you think that's inaccurate, then?
02:52But he's an accountant.
02:54He's an accountant.
02:56Well, there you are. Yes, moths don't eat clothes. Their larvae do. Their caterpillars.
02:59Anyway, next question is, why butterflies?
03:03Wow, that's a short question.
03:04Isn't it? Two words.
03:06What do you mean, why are they called that?
03:08It doesn't actually mean that. No, it means, why do they exist?
03:11Why are they?
03:13Yeah.
03:13I think it's evil to put a food in front of any bug, to name it like a butterfly, because
03:20I would eat butterflies when I was a kid, because I thought they had butter in them.
03:24And honeybees.
03:25There are two-thirds as to why.
03:28And a hamster.
03:36Because, you know, you're four years old, you don't know better.
03:39And we were poor.
03:43There are two things as to why they're called butterflies.
03:46One is that it's from a Dutch word, which means excretes butter.
03:50There was this theory that they actually shat butter.
03:54And the other is that it's from Anglo-Saxons, that the most common butterflies in England, when the Anglo-Saxons
03:59invaded Britain, were yellow and were butter-colored.
04:01It's as boring as that.
04:03But no, the reason they exist, they're quite a late addition, as it were, to the family of creatures, compared
04:08to their closest relations.
04:09Something like that. When do they start, then, the butterfly? They were around when I was a kid.
04:15For 100 million years before butterflies evolved, moths had been around, and it's generally believed that butterflies were kind of
04:23an evolution from moths, because moths have one big disadvantage.
04:26What is it about moths that's different from butterflies at the most obvious?
04:29They go around at night.
04:29Go around at night.
04:42At night.
04:43Yeah. There's a bat.
04:45Seen a moth there.
04:46Yeah. Well, not seeing, but hearing.
04:48It's heard a moth. It's sensed a moth.
04:50Sensed a moth, exactly.
04:53The precision of their echolocation is remarkable.
04:56But if you put cotton wool in their ears, they're useless. I mean, aren't they?
04:59No, you're absolutely right.
05:00They burnt off the wall like Canadian swathfuls.
05:02This is how it was discovered. It was actually in the 18th century, a French scientist put cotton wool in
05:06the ears of bats.
05:07And so he posited the idea that they had this extra sense. And then it was poo-pooed. And for
05:14150 years, it wasn't reconsidered. And we now know he was absolutely right.
05:17But they send out these signals that bounce back, exactly like sonar, and it's much more effective than sonar.
05:23Well, that's why they never bump into you as well at night.
05:25That's right.
05:25People get so scared of bats, and they go like that. But they would never, ever bump into you. They'd
05:29always move on.
05:29I saw David Attenbury being interviewed, and she said he once did a piece to camera for life on earth
05:33or something about bats, saying,
05:34one thing that's never true about bats is you never get them caught in your hair. It's never true. They
05:39have such accurate bats.
05:42Stephen, can I tell you something about David Attenbury?
05:45Because he is my god. Ages ago, they're doing a column in one of the papers, who would you most
05:50like to be like?
05:52And so I said, David Attenbury. I love the career he's had. I love his wisdom. I love his sense
05:57of adventure.
05:58And a couple of weeks later, the article came out. It was actually, who would you most like to look
06:03like?
06:05Because there's a lovely picture of me next to David, and they're like, Toya Wilcox next to Audrey Hepburn.
06:11Oh, that's so sweet.
06:14A little few months to go from David Attenbury to Richard Attenbury, and when he was directing the great Ben
06:19Kingsley in Gandhi,
06:20you should probably know that I think there were maybe a million, possibly even two million extras during Gandhi's funeral,
06:25and the first assistant, the very famous and doubtable David Tomlin, was told by Sir Dickie Attenbury to instruct the
06:31crowd as to how they may react.
06:32And he said to David Tomlin, he said, I want you to convey to them, David, that Gandhi's died,
06:38and it's an extraordinary event, darling, an extraordinary event in the whole history of India, darling,
06:46that Gandhi is gone, that their god, their national hero is gone.
06:50So David Tomlin turned to the crowd and he said, Roy, listen up.
06:54What? Gandhi's dead and you're all f***ing insane.
07:01Excellent.
07:04Very good.
07:05Hey, I don't have an anecdote, but I have a joke.
07:07Go on.
07:09We're open to jokes, too.
07:10These two vampire bats in a cave, flying around, and, you know, they like blood.
07:15Haven't had any in a while.
07:16One of them goes out on a recon, comes back, face just covered in blood.
07:20The other bat's beside himself.
07:21He says, wow, what happened?
07:23And he points to this village, the bat, well, he flaps to it.
07:25He says, see that village over there?
07:27And the other bat says, yeah.
07:28See that steeple?
07:29Yeah.
07:29I didn't.
07:34No, so moths had to devise strategies to beat the bat.
07:37And some of them evolved to hear the bat's echolocation screeching,
07:40which humans can't hear, as you know, it's very high.
07:42And other ones decided to live during the day, and they became butterflies.
07:45Now, moths are all right at night.
07:47They like, in being in the dark, they like living in clothes in cupboards.
07:52Yeah.
07:53So what is this thing they have about candles and...
07:57Isn't it mad?
07:58I agree with you.
07:58The light in the port.
08:00There you are.
08:00You're a nocturnal animal, and you're attracted to light.
08:03Well, then get up in the morning.
08:05I have lots of it.
08:07Another question.
08:08Compared to bats, do owls ring any bells?
08:14All right.
08:14Josie's ringing a bell.
08:15Yes.
08:16Well, it's like what we've just been talking about, I think.
08:19It's something to do with sonar.
08:21You're absolutely right.
08:21Why not have a point?
08:23Oh, thank you.
08:24When it was first...
08:24They first tried to experiment with how bats could see so well in the dark,
08:29they put owls and bats in a very, very dark room with some bells hung from ropes.
08:35And if it was slightly low light, the owls could see well enough to avoid the ropes.
08:40But if it was pitch black, they would fly into the ropes because they couldn't see them.
08:43Whereas the bats, if it was pitch black, just flew around and didn't ring any bells.
08:47And so that's how it was first seen, that bats could completely manoeuvre in the dark without bumping into anything.
08:54So the flatter an owl's face, the bigger a bell it's run into.
08:56Yeah.
08:57Yeah, it's probably exactly.
08:59It's quite called an owl.
09:00They are...
09:01Ow!
09:03I have an aga.
09:05Yes, I know, I should be shocked, but I do.
09:07And it kept going out.
09:09Oh, I got the aga person to come and look at it.
09:10What, down the shops or...?
09:13Yeah.
09:15It kept...
09:16You're out shopping and you see your aga.
09:19You rush over and just as you get there, it's not there and you keep losing it.
09:23So the aga man kept coming and he kept saying it's perfectly fine and it kept going out again.
09:28So eventually he said, I've got to stay overnight, he said.
09:30This wasn't...
09:31Come on.
09:32I'm just saying.
09:33Because he would come during the day, light it, it was perfect.
09:36In the morning I'd ring him up and say it's gone out overnight and he couldn't work it out.
09:40And what it turned out was it was an owl would roost on the top of the cowling of the
09:44flute
09:44because it would light the warm air up it or whatever.
09:47And it would cover itself over it and it would block it out and stop it.
09:51So it's a safety device if you block the chicken.
09:54The chicken?
09:54If you block it.
09:56The chimney.
09:57The chimney of an aga goes out.
09:59Anyway, that's my owl aga story.
10:01It wasn't worth telling.
10:02I'm pissed.
10:03Never mind.
10:10So there we are.
10:11Ringing the bells.
10:12Next question.
10:12What is batology?
10:15Batology.
10:16There's the word on your screen.
10:17What is it?
10:17It is not the study of bats.
10:20Correct.
10:21You've saved yourself a big forfeit.
10:24Well done.
10:27There you are.
10:29Would you give us a clue or is that not a word?
10:31It's a fruit.
10:32It's a fruit.
10:32It's a fruit.
10:33It's a study of a particular fruit.
10:35A fruit that has two words for it in English, both of which begin with bean.
10:38Banana.
10:39It's a native to Britain.
10:41And you can either call it a buh or a buh.
10:45Apple.
10:45Anyone in the audience?
10:48Bramble or blackberry.
10:50The audience is well up.
10:51Blackberry.
10:51The study of blackberry is very good.
10:53Well done.
10:54You may say it's not worth studying, but there are over a thousand different species of bramble.
10:57No, there aren't.
11:01The study of bats is actually curoptology.
11:04Alan, there's a plot for you here, mate, in your Jonathan Creek.
11:07You know, an old lady coming, she's been picking blackberries, someone's been killed in the village, stabbed, and you go,
11:14she might be a batologist.
11:15Just a thought.
11:18So, now, what is batophobia?
11:21Fear of blackberries.
11:28Oh, dear.
11:31I'm sorry.
11:32You ought to be right.
11:34You ought to be.
11:34Surely, no one's ever had fear of blackberries.
11:37Exactly.
11:38So it is not.
11:39Now, batophobia is actually a fear of being close to tall buildings.
11:43Panic attacks, irregular heartbeat, sweating, nausea, and an overall feeling of dread.
11:49I've got it.
11:50Yeah.
11:51Other phobies like that are bathophobia, the fear of depth.
11:54Alan.
11:55Alan.
11:58The fear of profundity of any kind.
12:01No.
12:02What is batology?
12:04Batology is spelled thusly.
12:06Batteries.
12:06The study of batteries.
12:08No, it's not that.
12:09Nice thought.
12:10It is.
12:12There's no other word in English with B-A-W-T at the beginning.
12:16Battle?
12:16Battle is the other one.
12:19Battle?
12:21Battle.
12:24It reminds me of...
12:26Batten down the hatches is another one.
12:28Apart from those three.
12:30It reminds me of the story of someone who was saying that sugar is the only English word that begins
12:33with S-U, but where the S is pronounced Sh-U.
12:35And someone called out, are you sure?
12:39Mattology means pointlessly repeating the same thing over and over again.
12:44Oh, my God.
12:44Mattology means pointlessly repeating the same thing over and over again.
12:48Some people do that, don't they?
12:49I've got a friend who always repeats himself.
12:52His name's Dave, and we call him Dave JaVu.
12:55Oh, very good.
12:56Very good.
12:58Is Dave aware he does it?
12:59Yeah, because people said to him, you say everything twice, that's why we call you Dave JaVu.
13:06I see everything twice.
13:07I see everything twice.
13:10My brother has...
13:11Dave JaVu, they call me Dave JaVu.
13:15We're moving on to births, but first Swedish girls.
13:18What happened to every eight-year-old Swedish girl in the year 1994?
13:25Young Rich.
13:26From what I understand, there were no eight-year-old girls in 1994.
13:31Because in 1986, every child born in Sweden was a boy.
13:37Just purely by...
13:40The pure of all of that was good.
13:42It's a very ideological freak.
13:43No, no, let me give you the answer, which is that they had their ninth birthdays.
13:48If we believe the official statistics, all right, there were exactly 112,521 eight-year-old girls in Sweden on
13:56the 1st of January 1994.
13:57And there was exactly the same number of nine-year-olds on the 1st of January 1995.
14:01And this is unique in statistics, because none died, none emigrated, precisely the same number, survive a whole year.
14:10But in Britain in 1994, you might be interested to know, there are an astonishing range of accidents reported by
14:15the Trade and Industry's Consumer Safety Units Home Accidents Surveillance System report.
14:22Eight people in the UK in 1994 were injured by placemats, 13 sustained cruet injuries, 5 were wounded by dustpans,
14:338 suffered as a result of a breadbin accident, 5 were hurt by sieves, 14 fell foul of a serving
14:41trolley, 17 were treated for injuries caused by a draft excluder, 476 people were injured while on the lavatory.
14:50How many of you are? Underwear hurt 11 people.
14:54How many of those people were drunk?
14:57Well, exactly, that's a very good point. Or how many of them were sexually experimentative, as it were?
15:03I'm just sitting down in the nude and this cruet happened to get stoned.
15:08That's why in the hospital they use acronyms for, you know, like GOMER, which is get out of my emergency
15:15room.
15:16Oh, really?
15:16Or SARA, which is Sexual Activity Related Accident. It's called a SARA.
15:20There's an acronym they have in my part of the world, which doctors apparently put on patient notes, which is
15:25NFN, which stands for Normal for Norfolk.
15:29Yes.
15:30It's sad.
15:33On the positive side, 1994, tea cosy damage was down from three in 93 to nil. So we cleared up
15:42the minutes of tea cosy damage. Who knows? Who knows?
15:46People don't use them very often, do they nowadays?
15:48No, because they're so dangerous.
15:49It's lethal.
15:50It's lethal.
15:52Now, what was the biggest tourist attraction in Canada between 1934 and 1943?
15:59Ding dong.
16:00Ah, you're beaten to the buzzer.
16:02By Leslie Davis.
16:04Niagara Falls.
16:05Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
16:11Canada's a relatively young country, and I'm not sure how much of it there was at that time. Was it
16:15finished by the 30s?
16:18As it were, I think, more or less, yes.
16:20Cos Alberta's only about 80 years old.
16:22I know, I know, I know the story, I know it.
16:24Yes.
16:27Yes?
16:27It's a really sad story, actually, and didn't they have sextuplets or octuplets?
16:33Quintiplets, in fact.
16:34Quintiplets.
16:35Quintiplets.
16:36Yeah, absolutely right.
16:36And everyone came to Silverado, and they were taken away from their parents and wanted to live in a house
16:42across the road.
16:42Exactly right, exactly right. It was the Dions, they were known as. There were these five girls who were born
16:48from a single egg to a rather poor family,
16:50and the father started talking about exhibiting them himself because they were very famous in those days before all kinds
16:56of fertility treatments.
16:57It was much rarer to have these kind of multiple births.
16:59So the government took over and put them in a hospital, and then slowly the hospital started to admit people,
17:04and it became the single biggest attraction in Canada.
17:07But after nine years, the parents successfully got their girls back, but at the age of 18, they all left.
17:14Two is still alive, but in 98, Mike Harris, who was the Prime Minister, travelled to apologise to the two
17:19remaining ones,
17:20and give them four million dollars as compensation, and apologise on behalf of Canada.
17:23Four million Canadian dollars.
17:25Canadian dollars.
17:26Not the US dollars are exactly worth singing about these things.
17:30Throw on my bone.
17:32Alan, question for you. Name all the events at the first recorded Olympic Games in the year 776 BC.
17:41Viscous.
17:46Have a lot of go.
17:48Japlin.
17:50No.
17:51No.
17:52Try harder.
17:54Hammer.
17:55Oh, dear.
17:56Oh, dear.
17:57No.
17:58No.
17:59I think that way madness lies.
18:00Well, running.
18:02Yes, but running is the answer.
18:03Running is running.
18:04Just one race.
18:04Just one race.
18:06And if you get the distance, I will be astonished.
18:08200 metres.
18:10That's damn close.
18:12It's unfair.
18:13It's very unfair.
18:15I think you've taken enough forfeits because there was just one event and it was 192 metres.
18:20Which is the modern equivalent.
18:22It's a stadium, which is the length of the stadium.
18:24And that was the only race in the first Olympic Games.
18:26That was the Olympic Games?
18:27The first recorded one.
18:29Yeah.
18:29Which was when?
18:30It was later developed and indeed included discus and javelin and all wrestling and boxing
18:34and all the things you've mentioned.
18:35But unfortunately, the first recorded one was just one.
18:37When was the first recorded one?
18:38776 BC.
18:40Now, the next question, which is a subsidiary to this first recorded Olympics, is what was
18:45the naked chef doing there?
18:47Ding dong.
18:49Yes.
18:49Was that a response to the buttocks or...?
18:52Yeah, the lime pear.
18:53For war.
18:55Naked cooking for the athletes.
18:57No, not quite.
18:59Preparing meals for the judges.
19:01Selling food to the audience.
19:04Won the race.
19:05Yes, quite right.
19:08The winner was a cook.
19:13His name was Coroibus of Elis and he was a cook and like all the contestants was naked.
19:18They all ran in the nude.
19:19All ran in the nude.
19:20How wonderful.
19:22Even the trainers.
19:23I would like to have seen the triple jump.
19:26What about the pole vault?
19:30He was, of course, won by a short head.
19:32No.
19:33After his final spurt.
19:35No!
19:36Shut up!
19:38Now, why is a marathon 26 miles and 385 yards long?
19:43I feel a trap coming.
19:46There's an utterly preposterous myth that it is the distance run from the battle of Marathon back to Athens.
19:57The myth is that it was a man called Pheidippides who actually conducted the run to convey the news of
20:04the battle.
20:05Yes.
20:05And in fact it was the battle of Snickers, not Marathon.
20:07Exactly.
20:14No, that's right.
20:15There is a fairly well-known story that a man called Pheidippides apparently ran from Marathon where there had been
20:20a battle against the invading Persians.
20:21According to Herodotus, who was born six years after the battle, and whose account is the nearest we have to
20:26contemporary one, Pheidippides ran from Marathon to Sparta, which is actually about 145 miles.
20:30No way!
20:32Yeah.
20:33145 miles?
20:34And then he ran all the way back again because the Spartans were having a holy day.
20:38But he died under the same...
20:39Well, he didn't die according to Herodotus, he didn't die.
20:41I thought he did die.
20:41There's no record of him dying at all, no.
20:42It was 500 years later in Plutarch and various other sources, this myth grew up.
20:46Right.
20:47But the reason why the Marathon is 26 miles, 385 yards is the British Royal Family.
20:51Is it the distance from Windsor to St James?
20:56Not Windsor to St James, but you're absolutely on the right lines.
20:58In 1908, there was Olympic Games held in London, and the Marathon started outside a window in Windsor Castle, and
21:05half the Royal Family sat at the window going,
21:06Oh, well done, go on, man, what fun, and there started.
21:09And the finish line was at the newly built White City Stadium, and it was exactly 26 miles, 385 yards.
21:14And for every Olympics afterwards, that was the settled length.
21:17Now, we pay our traditional visit, ladies and gentlemen, to the exam hall where all the candidates are writing with
21:21the wrong end of the pencil.
21:23It's the school of general ignorance.
21:24So fingers on buzzers, turn over your papers, and let's begin.
21:27Where were the first modern Olympics held?
21:32Still on Olympics.
21:34Yes.
21:351896 was the first year, and I believe it was Athens.
21:41No!
21:42It's not correct, I'm afraid.
21:44No.
21:45Was it in Greece, then?
21:46No, it wasn't in Greece.
21:50I'm sorry about that.
21:52No?
21:53Was it London?
21:54No, you're in the right country, though.
21:56Damn.
21:56If you got the place, I'd be very surprised.
21:57Johnny might, if I were to say A.E. Houseman, you might get the place.
22:00Salisbury?
22:01No.
22:02Shropshire.
22:03Shropshire is the right answer.
22:04Shropshire.
22:04Much Wenlock.
22:05As in on Wenlock Edge.
22:06Wenlock Edge.
22:07The town of Much Wenlock from the year 1850 held Olympic Games.
22:10It's an extraordinary man called Dr. W.P.
22:13Brooks.
22:141896 was the first Olympic Games.
22:15So people suggest, but Baron Coubertin, who was the founder, supposedly, of the modern Olympic
22:20movement, and he wrote about W.P.
22:22Brooks.
22:23And much Wenlock is a town in Shropshire, a county on the borders of Wales.
22:26And if the Olympic Games that modern Greece has not yet been able to revive, he wrote this
22:31in 1890, Coubertin, still survive today, it is due not to a Greek, but to W.P.
22:36Brooks.
22:36It is he who inaugurated them 40 years ago.
22:39And it is he, now 82 years of age, still alert and vigorous, who continues to organise and
22:44inspire them.
22:45So Coubertin came to Wenlock Edge, and he being a baron, having influence and political connections,
22:49was able to do what this little country parson was not able to do, which was to get the rest
22:54of the country, the rest of the world.
22:55But King George I of Greece, of the Hellenes, sent a silver medal to be a prize at the Wenlock
22:59Olympics.
23:00So for 46 years before the first Athens Olympiad, as it is counted, there were Olympic Games
23:06that were recognised by the very man who was known as the Father of the Olympic Movement.
23:09Gosh.
23:10So let's hear it from W.P.
23:11Brooks.
23:11But he died just a year before the Athens Olympics.
23:162012 Hackney.
23:17Yeah.
23:18Could be, couldn't it?
23:19Could be Hackney.
23:20Nothing wrong with Hackney.
23:21What a shithole.
23:24Kayaking down the Lee River.
23:25I used to live in that area.
23:26You can develop film in the Lee River, but you can't kayak down there.
23:32Now, here's a question.
23:33Why was King Charles the 14th of Sweden ashamed of his tattoo?
23:38It's Dudley Moore, isn't it?
23:41Charles the 14th of Sweden.
23:44Well, because Bernadotte, one of Napoleon's generals, went to become King of Sweden.
23:49He did.
23:49And the tat, and was, did Charles the 14th, was that Bernadotte?
23:53It was.
23:54And he had a tattoo, I love Napoleon, on his last.
23:57No.
23:57No.
23:58No.
23:59He wasn't appointed by Napoleon.
24:00He was actually appointed by the ailing Charles the 13th.
24:02Napoleon regarded as a joke.
24:04But Bernadotte had been a young revolutionary, a Jacobin.
24:06And he had a tattoo that said, Death to Kings, as a young man.
24:10Wow.
24:11Then he was adopted by the old King of Sweden, Charles the 13th.
24:14Became Charles the 14th.
24:16Yes.
24:16And was incredibly successful.
24:18And completely backed away from France.
24:20Had an alliance with England.
24:22The Great Coalition.
24:23Yeah.
24:23Invaded Norway, became King of Norway as well.
24:25Mm-hm.
24:26And the Bernadotte family still rules Sweden.
24:28They are still the kings.
24:29This is very confusing.
24:30Isn't that weird?
24:30Because, I mean, Napoleon had Irish generals.
24:33He even had a Scottish general.
24:35Yeah.
24:35You know, just because you came from somewhere, you didn't have to fight for their army.
24:39No, indeed.
24:40Here's a question.
24:41Which Scandinavian king might you have in your mobile phone?
24:45BELL RINGS
24:46Johnny.
24:46Gustavus Adolphus?
24:47No.
24:48No.
24:50No.
24:51King Erickson.
24:53No, yes, I mean...
24:54King Motorola.
24:55No, actually, in it.
24:57Not as a make-off.
24:57King Sim.
24:59No.
25:02There was a King Harold who had a nickname.
25:04Bluetooth.
25:06Bluetooth is the answer.
25:08Hurt me neck when I was so excited to get that right.
25:12United.
25:12United, Finland and Sweden and Norway.
25:14And when Erickson and Nokia and all the others you mentioned
25:17were thinking of a unified approach to wireless connection between mobile phones,
25:21they called it Bluetooth in his honour.
25:24Oh, really?
25:24Yeah.
25:25Because of him?
25:25Oh, yes, Harold Bluetooth.
25:27Yeah.
25:28We have the last question.
25:29What do St Bernard's carry in barrels around their necks?
25:33Brandy.
25:34Johnny, Johnny, Woo!
25:36No, never have.
25:38Armagnac.
25:39It's a myth.
25:40Armagnac is a kind of brandy.
25:41Oh.
25:42It's just not a cognac.
25:43They never use casks in rescue work.
25:45Brandy, after all, would kill someone with hypothermia.
25:47Yes.
25:48They just do it for tourists.
25:49It's because of a painting in 1831 by Lancia.
25:53That's not the painting, incidentally.
25:55Very, very, very good life.
25:57It's just for tourism.
25:58The dog painted by Lancia was called Barry and he was very handsome and he'd rescued
26:0140 people and was something of a hero.
26:03Unfortunately, he was killed by the 41st person who thought he was a wolf.
26:07Oh, that's terrible.
26:08But in his honour, the handsomest St Bernard is always called Barry at the St Bernard Hospice.
26:17So why was Barry painted with a barrel round his neck then?
26:20Occasionally they would carry milk and things like that, but certainly not brandy.
26:23Was St Bernard a patron saint of skiers who needs some brandy?
26:29Well, it's a pass, isn't it?
26:31It's a pass between Italy and Switzerland.
26:32I tell you what is a really good patron saint, and it works, is St Anthony, the patron saint
26:38of lost things.
26:39If you lose something in the house and you just say, please, St Anthony, will you help me
26:43find this?
26:43I guarantee, because it's happened with me with keys and everything, in about half an hour
26:48to an hour you'll find whatever it is.
26:49Bullshit!
26:52Anyway, it's not...
26:53I'm sorry.
26:57Something tells me it is so much arse.
27:01Anyway, let's hear it, ladies and gentlemen.
27:03It's time for the bittersweet business of the scores.
27:05And here we are.
27:06I will have to go, I fear, in order of first to last.
27:11And tied in first place are Josie and Rich with four points.
27:15How about that?
27:21In third place, despite some magnificent knowledge, he did plunge into our traps a few times.
27:27With minus 14, it's Johnny Sessions.
27:32But limping somewhat a few laps behind, with I think a record-breaking minus 72 is Alan Davis.
27:49That's all, that's all from Rich, Johnny, Josie, Alan and myself.
27:52I'll leave you with this quite interesting thought.
27:57Good night.
27:58Thank you, guys.
27:58Thank you, guys.
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