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00:17all right
00:22hydroponic sensor media yeah colossally concentrated amounts tcp
00:31so i'm nathan barley you're watching trash bat so what's new for my latest monkey animation click on other
00:41shit click on diary to see my new phone it's also a camera it's also mp3 decks it's been out
00:51for three
00:51weeks in japan where's yours click on pranks to watch me evil pingu's head with a lorry battery
01:02his trousers fall down there's like a piss stain on his pants check it out yeah it is well done
01:12um well this is nathan barley this is trash back keep feeling fascination yeah looking learning
01:20moving on peace and fucking believe
01:29all right pack sticks
01:32fun keep it living keep it dense yeah
01:39going dark hold that yeah
01:45check it out yeah trashback.com my website never too late yeah trashback.com
01:55check out the website yeah it's well fucking futile
02:01nice one my nigga keep it chopped out yeah
02:13textile street yeah
02:31The Rise of the Idiots by Dan Ashcroft
02:36Once the idiots were just the fools gawping in through the windows
02:40Now they've entered the building
02:42You can hear them everywhere
02:46They use the word cool
02:47It is their favourite word
02:50The Idiot doesn't think about what it is saying
02:53Thinking is rubbish
02:55And rubbish isn't cool
02:57Stuff and shit is cool
03:00Ashcroft, Ashcroft
03:03The Idiots are self-regarding consumer slaves
03:06Oblivious to the paradox of their uniform individuality
03:10They sculpt their hair to casual perfection
03:14They wear their waistbands below their balls
03:18They babble into handheld twit machines
03:20About that cool email of the woman being bombed by a wolf
03:24Their cool friend made it
03:26He's an idiot too
03:33Welcome to the age of stupidity
03:35Hail the rise of the idiots
03:40Jan Ashcroft
03:41The Rise of the Idiots
03:45Awesome fucking opinions, dude
03:47Yeah, well plastic
03:49Yeah
03:49Later
03:51Keep it foolish
04:01Hey, sis
04:02What do you think of my proposal?
04:05Yeah, very good
04:07Which bit should I start with?
04:08Uh, the best bit
04:10Which bit's that?
04:12Uh, the guy
04:14The guy?
04:16Yeah, him
04:18You didn't read it, did you?
04:20I did
04:20Well, what should I start my pitch with?
04:23The, um, guy
04:31Check it out, yeah
04:32Trashback.cock
04:34Thanks
04:36Our website
04:40Dotcock, yeah
04:41Registered in the Cook Islands
04:42Hey
04:43Hey
04:45You're Dan Ashcroft, yeah
04:47Yeah
04:48That piece on the Rise of the Idiots
04:50Awesome
04:50Yeah, thanks
04:51Totally sums up my credos
04:53Yeah
04:53Alright, my nigga
04:54Put these here, yeah
04:55Check it out
04:56There's some colossal bang with shit going down, yeah
05:00So, Dan Ashcroft
05:01Mm-hmm
05:01Fuck
05:02Hang on, can I, um, just
05:04Give us your hands a sec
05:05Mm-hmm
05:06Uh, it's from a website
05:07It's gonna be awesome
05:08Just do an I then
05:10That's it
05:10Oh, dear
05:11Don't
05:11Yeah
05:11Okay, hold them up
05:13Hold it, hold it
05:14Your hands
05:14Yeah
05:15Okay
05:15This is Nathan Barley for Trashback with Dan Ashcroft
05:18Peace and fucking believe
05:20Oh, scratch ending
05:22I do those all the time
05:23Have you seen these?
05:24Wasp T12
05:25It's got a massive number five
05:26Because it's the most common number
05:28What are you getting?
05:30Matches
05:30Nice one
05:33Douches
05:36Trashback
05:36Hey, Dan
05:37Keep fucking the idiots, yeah
05:39Yeah
05:40Hey
05:41Night
05:45So, what's your film about, exactly?
05:51The rejects of society
05:53The people we see every day
05:55But we ignore
05:55Because we're too busy
05:57Listening to our iPods
05:58And thinking about kitchens
06:00Some of them are helping themselves
06:02I mean, I've already filmed
06:03A choir of junkies
06:06They've beaten their addiction
06:07And written songs about it
06:09They've recorded this CD in Bootle
06:11That's good
06:13It's not really meant to be funny
06:17Uh-huh
06:27Just in our blinds
06:30Get you with a blind
06:35If green is jason that knows all the miles
06:39If blue is misty in the sky
06:42See if the love of your heart is required
06:46Where you begin to...
06:49Pingu! Coffee!
06:52Love of action
06:53Well, slide, it was empty
06:58What are you working on?
06:59It's the brain-loading page
07:07It's good, yeah?
07:08Thanks
07:09Well, my idea
07:10So, thanks
07:13Well facilitated
07:15But under the total guidance of
07:17So, thanks again
07:20Coffee?
07:21Coffee?
07:21Real one?
07:22Extra milk?
07:22Double shot?
07:23Yes, please
07:23Don't think you should, mate
07:24You're a bit jumpy
07:33So, how's the film going?
07:36I just told you
07:38You turned me down
07:41You couldn't even be arsed to read my proposal
07:45I did
07:46Yeah, right
07:49I'll get this
07:50Thanks
07:51Can I borrow a tenner?
07:55Can you read my piece about the idiots?
07:58Yeah, very good
07:59All right, spunk plate
08:01All right, you bum pilot
08:03Keep it dusty
08:04Don't look
08:06What?
08:07There's one over there
08:07Usual, please
08:11Dan!
08:12Dan!
08:14Twice in one day
08:15Well coincidental
08:17Yeah
08:17Yeah
08:18All right
08:21She's fit
08:24She is my sister
08:28Fit sisters are cool
08:32Claire Ashcroft
08:33Nathan Varley
08:34A.K.A. is Trashback
08:36Trashback?
08:36Dot cock
08:37It's an online urban culture dispatch
08:40So, what does Claire Ashcroft do?
08:42I'm a filmmaker
08:43So am I
08:43What kind of shit?
08:45Documentaries
08:45Not bad
08:47What music do you cut to?
08:49Well, I'm sort of more looking at the story
08:51Yeah, stories are often part of it
08:53What edit gear you got?
08:55Can't afford any
08:56You can use mine
08:57HQ's just round the corner
08:59What, have you got a facilities house?
09:00I'm a self-facilitating media node
09:04Fucking hell
09:05It's just I'm really hard off at the moment
09:07Probs and egg
09:08Mine's free
09:10Want to look round?
09:12Really?
09:14I've just got a zappuccino
09:17Latte, no sugar
09:18Yeah, thanks
09:20No
09:21Fuck
09:26When are you going to fuck him?
09:28I'm looking around his office, Dan
09:33Yeah
09:34You're going to fuck an idiot
09:36What is wrong with you?
09:38Coming, sister Claire
09:41Futures, my nigger
09:42What are you doing?
09:43That's his old videos
09:44Comedian, Freddie Star
09:46Sort of like the original Bill Hicks
10:06Who's this?
10:08Come on, chap
10:08It's Max Herbert
10:09And you should log my number
10:10Weekend on Sunday magazine
10:11Have just made me features editor
10:13Sell out
10:14Rise of the idiots, mate
10:16Genius
10:16The only problem is
10:18Your magazine's full of them
10:19Sell out
10:20Weekend on Sunday
10:21Is totally where you should be, dude
10:23So what are you working on?
10:25What's on Michael Portillo's iPod?
10:27Go away
10:29Well, look, the line's open
10:30No, it isn't
10:32You did
10:38Sugar Ape
10:39Dan Ashcroft
10:41Dan Ashcroft
10:57Morning, Dan
10:58Hmm?
10:59Morning
11:00Oh, yeah
11:01Mr Gibbard called from Gedge and Kurt
11:03About the video club debt
11:04Oh, that's nice
11:07That's Max Herbert from the Weekend on Sunday magazine
11:09He called again, twice
11:12That's not the new logo, is it?
11:14Mm-hmm
11:15Rape?
11:15No, it's still Sugar Ape
11:17But the S-U-G-A is inside the R
11:19Yeah, very clever
11:21His choice
11:24You know he had the question mark added by Deedpole
11:29Max Herbert doesn't have a punctuated surname
11:32No
11:34But he is a bit of a colon
11:36Ha-ha
11:42Trash Industries
11:44Believe
11:48Wow
11:49Claire, this is Pingu, our animator
11:51Pingu, shake hands but don't touch
11:54Shake all man's hand, mate
11:57He touched her
12:00How could I?
12:01So
12:02What we got here
12:04Renegade production node
12:06My desk, aka his main hub
12:09Chill out zone
12:10Kitchen
12:11Do you need a laptop?
12:13Yeah
12:13This one suit you
12:17Really?
12:18Yeah
12:18God, thanks
12:21Desk, desk
12:22Do you desk?
12:24Sorry?
12:25Edit station seems to be available
12:27What, I can use
12:28Sure
12:29If you pass the test
12:32What is the test?
12:34I don't know
12:40Daniel
12:44Rise of the idiots
12:48Oh yeah
12:49I rate that easily
12:50The best thing I ever read
12:52What's the second best thing you've ever read?
12:56Right, books and shit
12:58What books?
13:00Right, Heidi
13:02Is that a book?
13:04Yeah, I reckon
13:11The new logo
13:13Good reactions, etc
13:16I rate it
13:18Yeah, because it'll piss people off, yeah
13:20And they'll think they're getting pissed off by rape, yeah
13:23Except it's not even rape
13:24It's still ape
13:26So yeah, so they're getting pissed off
13:27By ape
13:32Ashcroft, you've been checking out Barley's website?
13:35No
13:36Oh yeah, yeah
13:37He invented this game
13:38Cock, Muff, Bumhole
13:39Yeah
13:39Nathan invented it on his website, yeah?
13:42Yeah, have you played it yet?
13:43No
13:44Watch this
13:45It's brilliant
13:46Watch this
13:46Watch this
13:47Oh!
13:49Muff's mother's cock
13:52Oh, your bumhole just farted at my muff
13:56It's cock, muff, bumhole
13:59Genius
14:01I've seen idiots playing this, yeah?
14:03Oh!
14:04That is funny, mate
14:05I don't realise it's not good because it's rude, yeah?
14:08Yeah
14:08It's good because it looks like it's good because it's rude
14:19Trashbat.com
14:20Everything made here spurts out through this pipe
14:26Hey, uh, shall we show Claire what I did to you yesterday?
14:31I'll do these jerks on him
14:33Oh, right
14:34Latest one's online
14:35I don't know
14:36His trousers fall down and there's pistone on his pants
14:39Please don't
14:40Oh, come on, mate
14:41It's hilarious
14:42He's a genius
14:42He's not stupid
15:07Oh, come on, mate
15:08Oh, it's a pistone on your pants
15:11Get it off
15:14That is well, Jackson
15:15This is Pingu with Nathan Barley for Trashbat
15:18Piece of fucking belief
15:21And he is going to get me back so badly one day
15:24Aren't you, mate?
15:26Yeah
15:44Hey, Dan
15:46Yeah, the blue one
15:47Yeah, it's got my fucking turn
15:49Do you want to see Dan's record?
15:51Ha, that's the fucking blue one
15:54Hey, Dan, yeah
15:55You've seen this one
15:56You've seen this on Barley's website
15:58It's a car-battery one
16:00Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
16:04ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
16:05ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
16:08ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
16:10ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
16:12ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
16:25Hey, Dan, put it around and cock my thumb hole. Come on, yeah?
16:30Nice craft.
16:33Max heard it.
16:37Um, yeah.
16:39Really?
16:41Yeah.
16:45Hi.
16:46Hey, chap, are we talking now?
16:47Yeah.
16:48Good. Listen, I just showed the editor you're idiots, Rad.
16:50He's laughing. I reckon he's pretty much going to sack someone to give you a job.
16:54You've got to come in.
16:56Why not? Yeah.
16:59You serious? Yeah.
17:01About, uh, two o'clock?
17:02Great.
17:04You are rocking the main stage, dudes.
17:07I'll see you then.
17:14Oh, mate. Eight times in a row, he just started up my muff.
17:18Quick round, yeah?
17:21Double-handed muff. No way, man.
17:23Yeah, that's not allowed.
17:24I'm going.
17:26See you later, man.
17:27No, I'm going, going.
17:29For the weekend on Sunday.
17:33Fuck off.
17:44I'll take you out on my expense account.
17:49That's a bit for the dark, isn't it?
17:53Bye, idiots.
17:59Textile Street, bottle row.
18:01Prime pissing posts of the trash bet.
18:04And why trash bet?
18:06Okay, here's the credos.
18:08Trash, as in what's all around us.
18:12And bat.
18:17Place?
18:18Most high-end creative made in Britain.
18:20Pretty much an extension of Trash Industries.
18:25Eight screening rooms, five recording studios, and a weekly juice market.
18:30All right, toe-job?
18:31All right.
18:32It's Claire Ashcroft.
18:34I'm flatmate Toby, chief hub strip place.
18:36Hi, Toby.
18:36Oh, hi.
18:37Is that Doug Rocket?
18:39Mr. Doug Rocket to me, yeah.
18:40He set up plays.
18:41Yeah, you know his stuff.
18:43Very follics.
18:44Ruddy genius.
18:45You know, they're the only band ever to knock themselves off the top of the charts with the same record.
18:49How?
18:50I don't know.
18:51It was in France.
18:53Any time you want to use any of the facilitators here, I can fix that.
19:00Wow.
19:03Future's come, Flannel.
19:05Yeah.
19:06Your pair of towels.
19:08Yeah.
19:09Yeah.
19:19Dan Ashcroft.
19:19Mate, at last.
19:21I mean, I've been calling you for, what, four years?
19:23What took you so long?
19:25Dunno.
19:26Ah, here's Geoff.
19:28Geoff.
19:29Moss, the editor.
19:30Man who's going to give you the job.
19:31Hey.
19:32Geoff, this is the man, the Danster.
19:36Dan Ashcroft, Geoff Moss.
19:37He's been singing your praises.
19:39Let's do it.
19:39Let's do it.
19:39It's not sell.
19:40So.
19:42Sugar rape.
19:45Obviously, our readers, they're a bit older.
19:47They're 30-something.
19:48They're aspirational.
19:49It's, you know, it's Sunday supplement kind of stuff.
19:51But, um.
19:51Yeah.
19:52That's what we are.
19:53Sure.
19:53Maybe you could help us get a bit cooler.
19:56Okay.
19:58So.
19:59Hit me.
20:00Hmm?
20:01A couple of features, ideas.
20:03Uh, ideas.
20:05Yeah.
20:05Yeah.
20:06Come on, whack us a mashcroft.
20:08I didn't bring any today.
20:13Didn't know we were going to have to do that.
20:17He's just come straight off the last job.
20:18Up all night.
20:19Real focus.
20:20Real focus, Amy.
20:21Real focus.
20:22Yeah.
20:23Real focus.
20:23Motoring.
20:24We're revamping that.
20:25Uh, got any ideas for that?
20:26Do you drive?
20:29Yeah, I don't drive, um, but I like cars.
20:34I like them.
20:35I think they're great.
20:37I like their wheels and some of those wheels they've got now.
20:41Taxi man.
20:41Modern.
20:43Urban living.
20:44Uh-huh.
20:45We go, you go out a lot.
20:46Yeah.
20:47This is Mr. Naila.
20:48This is Mr. Never Not Out.
20:49This is Dallas.
20:50Okay.
20:50Okay.
20:51Well, um, fantastic.
20:53You read out much?
20:53Yes.
20:54Okay.
20:54I do.
20:55Where was the last place you went?
20:57Um, just, um, to regime.
21:01You're kidding?
21:03Do you eat that?
21:04Yeah.
21:05All right.
21:07What did you think?
21:08Yeah.
21:08Yeah?
21:09It's all right.
21:10Uh-huh.
21:10Um, yeah, it wasn't as good as I thought it could have been, but it was all right.
21:14It was okay.
21:15Uh-huh.
21:15Yeah.
21:18The wine was good.
21:20Liked that.
21:21It's got an excellent cellar.
21:22Yeah.
21:23Yeah?
21:23Yeah, that was good.
21:24Mm.
21:24Yeah.
21:24Do you know about wine?
21:25Yes.
21:27Fantastic.
21:28You could...
21:28We've got a gap there, haven't we?
21:30Almost exactly as well.
21:31I've shaved off shape.
21:32So, you could write us a wine copy.
21:34All right.
21:35Okay.
21:35Yeah.
21:35Fantastic.
21:36All right.
21:37Mezzo Brown.
21:38Okay.
21:39Sounds good.
21:39Let's say your top five supermarket wines.
21:43Okay.
21:44Top five?
21:45Mm-hmm.
21:45Seven quid a bottle?
21:46All right.
21:47Mm-hmm.
21:47Yeah.
21:51Top five?
21:52Yeah.
21:53Top five.
21:54Mm-hmm.
21:55Mm-hmm.
21:57Italian.
21:57Mm-hmm.
21:58Spanish.
22:01Dutch.
22:02And, uh, French.
22:04Uh, Southern French.
22:08Um...
22:09French and...
22:10And Southern French.
22:11Yeah.
22:12Mm-hmm.
22:15Yeah, just the labels.
22:17Danish.
22:18The Chateau.
22:19Yeah.
22:20Yeah.
22:20Yeah, the coat.
22:23Ode, coat, the Chateauneuf, any of the paps.
22:27Mm-hmm.
22:2897 through...
22:29Mm-hmm.
22:30...2 and 81.
22:31Mm-hmm.
22:33Mm-hmm.
22:34Mm-hmm.
22:37Yeah.
22:37Mm-hmm.
22:45Because, um, is that...
22:47Is that all right?
22:50Mm-hmm.
22:53Mm-hmm.
22:55Mm-hmm.
22:56Mm-hmm.
22:56Mm-hmm.
22:57Mm-hmm.
22:57Mm-hmm.
22:58Mm-hmm.
23:00Mm-hmm.
23:06Mm-hmm.
23:07And, um, on little plastic tractors.
23:11So...
23:13Please.
23:27Sugar-eye, boozer!
23:32Dan Ashcroft.
23:34Dan Ashcroft?
23:51Hey, it's the Ashcroft.
23:54I thought you'd gone.
23:55To the weekend on Sunday?
23:58Did you go?
23:59Yeah.
24:01Not for a job?
24:04No.
24:04What? You mean, like, you went for a joke?
24:08Yeah.
24:09To take the piss?
24:10Mm-hmm.
24:11Are you going to write a article about it?
24:15They're going to be well livid.
24:16Hey! That squab's going to call the weekend on Sunday a bunch of fuckzips.
24:22Oh, yeah. Trojan measure, mate. Trojan measure.
24:25Bum scum, mate. Bum scum, yeah?
24:27Pub, etc.
24:33A nice glass of Dutch wine.
24:43A nice glass of Dutch wine.
25:05Hey, Dan, come around and call my bum off.
25:08Come on, yeah?
25:09Oh, my God.
25:10You're going to be well-proud of the plan.
25:20What are you doing, Ashcroft?
25:22You're going down.
25:24Oh!
25:25Let's go up the mark.
25:29Oh!
25:30Four-two.
25:31Oh!
25:32Oh!
25:34Yeah.
25:35Oh!
25:35Woo!
25:36Yes!
25:37Die!
25:37What are you doing?
25:40Playing, er, Cotten Off by Mow.
25:44Don't the idiots play them?
25:46Yep.
25:49Go, go, go, go, go, go.
25:52Go, go, go, go, go!
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