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Gutfeld!2/6/26 Greg Gutfeld FULL END SHOW | ᗷᖇEᗩKIᑎG ᑎEᗯS Tᖇᑌᗰᑭ February 6, 2026
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00:00finally something i can agree with it's friday so you know what that means it's time to welcome
00:27tonight's guest well he's been canceled more times than chris christie's gym membership comedian
00:33rob schneider he always reminds crowds to tip the wait staff because he's one of them
00:42comedians rod small
00:44this man keeps fit by jogging an ankle monitor former gop congressman george santo
00:57and she went from duran duran to old guys who eat bran host of the kennedy saves the world podcast
01:03kennedy
01:03before we get to some news stories let's do this
01:10all right it's leftovers where i read the jokes we didn't use this week and as always it's my
01:20first time reading them so if they suck we'll send joe mackie to clean the glory holes at a
01:26biker bar
01:27george you know what that is
01:31we're on fire tonight
01:38all right i haven't even said let's end the show now
01:40friday baby
01:42yes so a new report claims that los angeles mayor karen bass watered down the palisade's fire report
01:50yeah that's ridiculous where'd she find the water
01:53you know because it burned down new reports show that jeffrey epstein was seeking info on how to
02:01lengthen his micro penis although the last woman to see him disputes this saying he was extremely well
02:09hung
02:10wow
02:13that was nice
02:15it's friday people
02:17nasa's mission to circle the moon has been delayed for the seventh time technicians
02:23explained that they just can't escape the gravitational pull
02:27of jb pritzker
02:29while people are excited for this sunday's super bowl others look forward to the puppy bowl
02:37which in rfk jr's house is an actual bowl of puppies
02:45because he eats them
02:48high protein
02:50high protein
02:52turning point has announced kid rock will headline its counter-programming halftime show
02:57uh
02:58uh to prepare for the show he showered last year
03:04at this year's winter olympics opening in uh ceremony in italy two giant cauldrons were lit
03:13simultaneously fun fact it's the same technology they use to make fondue over at the view
03:19that was a long way
03:22yeah
03:23by the way this year's olympics will feature women's team curling
03:28this is all part of an effort to show that some women still know how to use a broom
03:33yeah
03:36wow
03:39this weekend only fans model bonnie blue plans to set a record by sleeping with more than a thousand
03:45and fifty seven men in 24 hours
03:49shattering the record previously held by this man
03:53did she really need the 57
03:57soon disneyland fans will be able to get married on the steps of the haunted mansion
04:05now that's a fairy tale
04:07that they'll ever get married
04:10wow
04:14yes
04:16thank you
04:17and a wisconsin neighborhood postal workers were terrorized and chased by wild turkeys
04:22did someone say wild turkey
04:24asked one woman
04:26you laugh at that one but not at the one before it
04:31earlier this week g.i. joe turned 62
04:36wow i'll never forget my first g.i. joe
04:40i met him in fort lauderdale
04:41stole my heart and my wallet
04:48singer sabrina carpenter is coming out with her own perfume
04:52meanwhile lizzo is releasing a fragrance of her own
04:56after she eats at taco bell
04:58wow
05:02thank you
05:05southwest airlines is hiking fares for plus size passengers
05:09which is the first time a plus size passenger has ever heard of hiking
05:13yeah
05:18i know
05:22solid
05:23i know
05:23bill belichick's girlfriend is planning a huge party
05:26on the same day as the hall of fame induction
05:29it's called her prom
05:31in a recent interview
05:35actress sydney sweeney said she's looking for a man who is athletic
05:39outgoing
05:40and funny
05:43message received
05:48in a medical first scientists have attached an ear onto a foot
05:53next up removing a man's ass from an airline toilet seat
06:01and finally researchers unveiled the world's first biometric ai robot
06:07and they say it boasts a ninety two percent human-like walking accuracy
06:12but don't worry
06:13you can still
06:17you
06:18hey
06:19you
06:20say
06:20you
06:22say
06:24oh my god
06:27i'll get a phone call on that one
06:30did you really have to use the f-word
06:32all right
06:33so as always we ask why are miserable leftist always named joy
06:40it's weird
06:41it's weird it's like a guy who's never made a woman wet but his name is waters
06:45yes
06:48so here's another joy flynn at a recent meeting the school board vice president got upset following a colleague's report on student achievement because he used the word homeless that's when she fired back with this drivel
06:56i have a lot to say and i will speak plainly
07:01and you may not like it
07:03i am personally offended by what was presented
07:07i have a lot to say and i will speak plainly
07:14and you may not like it
07:17i am personally offended by what was presented
07:22on so many different levels
07:26oh
07:27oh
07:28oh
07:29oh
07:30one thing i would like to see updated is the word
07:33homeless
07:34oh god
07:35to unhoused
07:37yeah
07:41i'm not i'm not done
07:46so many different levels just try one
07:51what is with the dramatic pause that's a school board meeting not shakespeare in the frickin park
07:57but at least the long pause gave everyone in the audience the chance to go on zillow and find a home in florida
08:04anyway that's when another school board member noted that the term homeless is used in official context in california
08:12that's the way our state of california
08:15that's the language that they use and that's there
08:18that doesn't mean that's the language we have to use
08:20i'm i'm i'm those are their title statement
08:24and i just want to make sure that he's just because that's the way that everybody else does it doesn't mean that's the way we need to do it
08:31yeah
08:32she's right
08:33it's a respectful term to speak about our community
08:38okay lady i'll play i won't refer to you as a moron
08:43i'll go with unbrained
08:46i'm evolving
08:53thank you
08:55i've changed
08:56she's persuaded me
08:58but this is the mo of the woke and the useless
09:01getting upset over a word
09:03so you don't have to deal with the real problem
09:05it's not failing schools
09:07it's a colleague who uses the word homeless
09:09and of course she's offended on behalf of people she knows nothing about
09:13because you know who isn't worried about the word homeless
09:17homeless people
09:19they're more concerned about ringworm
09:22or having to share their refrigerator box with losers
09:26they're not sitting around saying i wish they'd call me by a better name
09:32no they're sitting around trying to avoid hungry bobcats encroaching their encampments
09:38but this isn't about helping the homeless at all
09:41it's about helping that woman's status
09:43she wants to appear important without doing anything important
09:47forget solutions
09:48she just wants credit
09:50by the way how is unhoused different than homeless
09:54why not settle the problem just call them people who really love to camp
09:59it's funny though how liberals often soften language when defending bad stuff
10:04they say undocumented immigrants instead of illegal aliens
10:09they say justice involved person instead of violent felon
10:12and how did gender affirming care become the acceptable phrase for castrating kids
10:18i guess a genital relocation was too complicated
10:23and we can't say retarded anymore
10:26now we just have to show a picture of mark ruffalo
10:29so you could blame creeps like this broad but you gotta wonder
10:37how in the hell did someone so brain dead end up on a california school board
10:42she probably gave randy weingarten a hand job
10:45here he is
10:49all right
10:50yes
10:52first of all rob i want to congratulate you on getting the role as the tin man in the musical version of the wiz
10:58thank you for noticing
11:02you have so many things going on on your body
11:05it's like uh... you're like a casino exploded
11:09now this i got this uh... at uh... neiman marcus uh... at the gay bullfighting section
11:15you're like a monopoly piece
11:19how did i get that section though i never saw the section
11:26no i i i think unhoused is also not very nice
11:29yeah i don't think it's nice either
11:30yeah i've i've i prefer like people experiencing involuntary stargazing
11:36mmm that's great that's a very good
11:40yeah it's nicer
11:41it is nice positive
11:42yeah they're actually putting too much uh... emphasis on the house in fact why are we so interested in trying to get them a house
11:49yes i think new york has it down as soon you know as soon as they freeze to death you don't have to call them homeless you just call them frozen dead people
11:56yes homesickles homesickles
12:00homesickles
12:01i think you're right homesickles
12:03corp-sickle
12:04what?
12:05corp-sickle
12:06corp-sickle
12:07corp-sickle
12:08you know sherrod does it bother you when they call you unhoused
12:11yes it does
12:13because i refer to myself as roof deprived
12:17i'm good old roof deprived
12:20i'm good old roof deprived
12:21you have roofies but no roof
12:23no roof
12:24it's a roll of the dice
12:27it really is a roll of the dice
12:29it's a roll of the dice
12:30are you tired of this all these the language policing
12:34yeah you know they overdo it but first i thought that clip i thought that was a clip from like abbott elementary
12:38i thought this show was funnier
12:41but no matter what you call it we just gotta solve the problem
12:45yes
12:46you know some people need to you know we need to look out for some of our more unfortunate citizens
12:50yes
12:51and we got the loot to do it so let's just do it
12:52yeah but they like they go after the words they don't want to help them because help requires a little bit of discipline
12:57i know
12:58gotta get them off the streets
12:59gotta get them off the street gotta get them in the houses because i'll have more houses to break into
13:02yeah
13:03no
13:04they're throwing up my business
13:06in california homeless homeless people are atm machines for the democratic party
13:10yeah
13:11and um
13:12they don't they don't want that to stop anytime soon
13:14yeah it's a lot of programs that they skim from they get millions and the money disappears
13:19you know george do you prefer to be called when you were in jail freedom inhibited
13:24absolutely not
13:25you actually you pride yourself on saying you were a felon
13:29absolutely i'm a dangerous felon don't with me
13:32you know
13:34greg you got two felons on the show tonight
13:36yes
13:37but somehow i'm less scared of him than you
13:41yeah
13:42is it because you're black
13:44it's not not because
13:46no
13:47it's not not because
13:48the tin man agrees with the convicted liar
13:51there you go
13:52so i have so i have i have a theory i'm i'm watching this and now i've become inspired to go start the the
14:01houseless people center in california and i'll take those nine billion in uh subsidies for it
14:06you only need like you only need a p.o box
14:09i mean a p.o box and i need great um you know hooked on phonics people that can spell my nice signage properly
14:15yes
14:16it's just like i mean
14:17you don't even need stationary anymore
14:19no no it's all the way you just look what they're here the homeless people are here
14:23don't come film this is not the time they're here
14:26what are they here it's none of your business
14:28get out of here
14:29where are the homeless people
14:30yeah it's none of your business
14:31now they're away
14:32they're always on that long walk
14:34yeah kennedy's gonna be my partner in the venture
14:36mmm what do you say kennedy
14:38i think rob is absolutely right
14:39what they're doing in california it's what they always do
14:41you change the wording slightly
14:43because it means you know you can go out for more fundraising
14:46because if you have uneducated voters who you know want to do well and want to help people
14:51they'll be like oh the unhoused
14:53well i didn't realize that was an entire group of people
14:55we've already given so much to the homeless
14:57let's give even more to the unhoused
15:00i wish they talked like that
15:02well i do too because they would use they would bring back the word hobo
15:05yes
15:06which i loved hobo was such a great word
15:08because it was like men riding the rails with a can of chili and a bindle
15:12a bindle
15:13yes
15:14and a gay hobo was a hobosexual
15:17that's right
15:18absolutely right
15:19no hobo
15:20yeah
15:22no hobo
15:24they loved riding the train
15:25the caboose
15:26no hobo
15:27you always find them the caboose of the train
15:29please a man
15:30way only a man knows how to please another man
15:32yeah
15:33yeah i like this
15:34very macho
15:36any unhoused person just broke into my car to
15:38steal nickels out of my coffee cup
15:41it's a tough world out there
15:43there's a recession allegedly
15:45yes
15:46well anyway that was fun
15:47Up next, women and killers.
15:54Story in five words.
15:59Chicks, more intolerant and assassinate-y.
16:03So, Kennedy, I go to you first because you're the only woman on the panel.
16:05That's you know one.
16:06Yes.
16:07What?
16:08What's that supposed to mean?
16:10We'll find out later, George.
16:12So, a recent survey found that female students are way less tolerant of their own political
16:18allies, the people that they agree with, than men are of their ideological adversaries.
16:25In fact, guys who are three and a half times more likely to be tolerant of opposing views
16:29than women, you have one minute to explain.
16:32I don't know how you can explain this.
16:34It's very interesting because guys always get such a bad rap and you just assume when
16:38you go to a college campus and you run into a group of conservative guys that they're
16:43going to be a bunch of bullying thugs.
16:46But it actually turns out, according to this research out of Rutgers, and they interviewed
16:50like over a thousand people.
16:51It's like a thousand fifty five people.
16:53So, it was a big sample size.
16:55But conservative guys and libertarian guys were the most tolerant.
16:59Yes.
16:59Even when they vehemently disagreed with someone.
17:01And then the women, by contrast, especially liberal women, were the ones to say that murder
17:07of a political, either a politician or a political operative they disagree with, was, you could
17:14justify murdering that person.
17:16Like, not just talk about, and there's a big difference between, you know, rhetoric and
17:21action.
17:22And the women were on the side of action, like, yeah, now he's gross.
17:25And I don't know if somehow social media has allowed people to dissociate en masse, and
17:32everything is disposable, and nothing is real.
17:35I think we've also romanticized stridentcy.
17:38We've made, like, people who can't control their emotions seem heroic.
17:41I want to run some tape for you, George.
17:46It's at a yoga studio.
17:48You're familiar with yoga?
17:49Oh, absolutely.
17:50So, these yoga chicks in Minneapolis just showed up, okay, this is what, this is a perfect
17:55example, because this is like, people go to yoga to be peaceful, be not bothered, but
18:00Put their foot behind their head.
18:01Yeah, exactly.
18:02You know that.
18:06These women showed up and started yelling at the people who work there for not having
18:10a sign up that protests ICE.
18:12Run this.
18:12What?
18:13Yeah.
18:13You're going to put the ICE up sign back on the front door?
18:15We don't want to chat.
18:17We want action.
18:17Do we chat f***ing along in the States?
18:20The fact that you guys are staying silent, that is complicit.
18:22That is not okay.
18:23People are being murdered and abducted and attacked here, and it is heinous.
18:27I am a nurse.
18:28It kills me to see people getting f***ing hurt in our communities.
18:31This is our community, and this is f***ing.
18:34So, George, I have a question for you.
18:36Is this why you're gay?
18:38Yes.
18:39Yes.
18:40You know what?
18:41I married my first wife, and I quit.
18:43I was like, absolutely no.
18:45Were you actually married?
18:46I was.
18:46You were married to a woman?
18:48I was at 22, and I quit because of f*** like this.
18:51How stupid was she?
18:52That poor woman.
18:55How dare you put that woman through that?
18:57No, seriously.
18:58I mean, look, people do all these research.
19:01It's like, oh, men are going gay.
19:03Men are going soft.
19:04No, women are becoming insufferable.
19:05And men are just like, okay, I can't do this anymore.
19:07And no offense to women, but it's this young generation.
19:11What the hell was the point of that?
19:12Yeah, sure, let's go to the place we go to be zen.
19:14Zen.
19:14And meditate.
19:16Yeah.
19:16And let's stir a f*** storm in there, because that's what we do in here.
19:20Wow.
19:20And you guarantee, Sherrod, those are the women that would tell you to shh if you break wind
19:28while doing Pilates.
19:29Yep.
19:30Listen.
19:30Shh, this is my time.
19:32People who do yoga, bad.
19:34Yoga pants, good.
19:39I like what I like.
19:40I like what I like.
19:42But it's a weird place to, you know, to debate it.
19:45It's like going to Burger King and having a No Kings rally.
19:50Like, pick a better battlefield.
19:52Paper crown.
19:52You know, you're single, right?
19:55Yes.
19:55Yes.
19:56Do you have a preference between liberal and conservative women, or do you just go with
20:01whatever?
20:02I just like to look for nice and quiet.
20:06No, I mean, they can have any opinion they want as long as the body's banging.
20:12I'll change guards for a hot girl.
20:15Let alone politics.
20:17Remember when he wore the little star of David for a while?
20:20Yes.
20:20So sweet.
20:21That's right.
20:22Shalom.
20:23Shalom.
20:25Rob.
20:25No, no, Shabbat, though.
20:26It's Friday.
20:27Yes, Greg.
20:28What is your theory?
20:31Because George had a theory.
20:32Go for it.
20:32Well, first of all, I don't think Sherrod's his real name.
20:34It's something like Brian or Kevin.
20:36But anyway, that's usually how it goes, or Ace.
20:39You're right.
20:40That's a change of report.
20:42No, women obviously have a higher capacity for empathy than men.
20:46But that empathy can be manipulated into giving empathy for people who don't deserve it.
20:51And that's a problem.
20:52And they can be manipulated into doing things that are not in their best interest.
20:56And that's why, Greg, I want our audience to consider amending the 19th Amendment.
21:00Really?
21:01Now, I'm not saying, I'm not saying, wait a minute, I'm not saying I don't want you
21:04to vote.
21:05I'm just saying, not for the important stuff.
21:07Yeah.
21:08No, but let me hear now.
21:10No, no, no.
21:10You can still vote.
21:11No, no, no.
21:12There's plenty of, ladies, there's plenty of things for you to still vote for.
21:15America's got talent, dancing with the stars, the school board, employee of the month at
21:23Whole Foods.
21:24There's plenty for you to still get excited about and vote.
21:27I'm just saying, for the big stuff, leave it to the less suicidal, empathetic humans,
21:32men.
21:33Sorry.
21:34That's it.
21:35I like it.
21:37Holy Susan B. Anthony, huh?
21:38This is when I say, I have nothing to do with it, but then off camera, I go, right on.
21:47Oh, man.
21:49All right, we got to move on.
21:50Up next, the Epstein Walk of Shame.
21:54The heftiest eel nips.
21:58Tiniest pea shelf.
22:00Oh, the Epstein files.
22:08So much to go through.
22:11It's so exciting.
22:12George, you're familiar with scandals.
22:14Oh, I'm going to go to you first.
22:15All right.
22:16So there's this huge law firm called Paul Weiss.
22:20It's like the white shoe law firm.
22:22The head of it, Brad Karp, had to resign.
22:26After it was revealed, he exchanged emails with Epstein years after Epstein's conviction,
22:32including a thanks for a memorable evening.
22:34But the other thing that was funny was he had requested a contact for Karp's son to get
22:43a job from Woody Allen, and it would be like an unpaying job, like an internship, and then
22:49he had to resign over this.
22:52Is that right?
22:53I mean, did he cross the line?
22:56You know, everybody.
22:58This has got to be a great thing for you being gay.
23:01You had no interest in going to Epstein's Island.
23:03Zero.
23:03Yeah.
23:04Zero.
23:04So I sit here and I watch.
23:06Everybody's being nuked into the Epstein files, and I keep looking like, still Mark's safe.
23:10I'm not there.
23:11Yeah.
23:11But look, I think nothing's off the table when it comes to Epstein.
23:16Like, if you're going to diddle little kids on an island, just throw them all in freaking
23:20hell.
23:21Look, Gitmo has plenty of space.
23:22The real estate's cheap.
23:24Q-Bo is totally in for it.
23:26And guys like this, yeah, step down.
23:29Yes, go walk the shame, the walk of shame, because they're trying to do it to President Trump.
23:33Every single day.
23:35So what's good for the goose is good for the gander, and I love watching it.
23:39I don't know.
23:39It's by Super Bowl.
23:40Well, it came out that Epstein and his associates only wanted white girls.
23:45I told you that.
23:46Finally, something in common with you.
23:47That's why it's a crime.
23:48Is it racism?
23:57Thailand's laughing at us.
23:58Oh, man.
23:59I hate you.
24:02What is your take on this?
24:03Like, some of this stuff is so absurd.
24:05I'll be honest with you, Greg.
24:06I went down to the island.
24:08But luckily, I was on the staff.
24:13I've never been happier about discrimination.
24:17I was a bartender.
24:18I'm like, here's your rum and coke.
24:19Enjoy prison.
24:24What about this?
24:25I worry, you know, that, like, the real stuff gets lost with the crazy stuff.
24:31What do you think, Rob?
24:33You've been on this story for a while.
24:34Well, I will tell you that I'm just glad my movies didn't make enough money to get invited to the island.
24:40Right?
24:41I think there was a cusp.
24:43You can do it!
24:48You can do it!
24:50Don't use my own movies against me.
24:53No, I think Hillary Clinton has the best form of punishment for what she's doing to Bill.
25:00Yeah.
25:00Stay married to him until his very last breath.
25:03Yes.
25:05That's the way.
25:06And the last whisper she hears, like, say hi to Epstein for me.
25:11They're going to have to testify.
25:12They agreed to testify.
25:14Why do you think they're doing it?
25:15In public?
25:16Yes.
25:16So that way they can only get five minutes in, you know, of questioning, and then the Democrats get their...
25:21Yeah.
25:22You know, that's why she did that.
25:23We all know that Epstein's still alive on a beach in Haifa.
25:26Yeah.
25:28Where's Haifa?
25:29In Israel.
25:30Oh.
25:30You don't travel by now.
25:31Are you blaming the Jews now?
25:33No, that's just...
25:34That's what my rabbi told me.
25:37Yeah, Schmoli told me that.
25:39He gets 70...
25:40His wife, Bill Gates, Melinda, she gets 76 billion.
25:42She's still not happy.
25:44Come on!
25:45I mean, I'm still obsessed with the Russian hookers.
25:49That's just such an unbelievable story.
25:51And, of course, you know, this was an email that Epstein wrote to himself and never sent, according to Bill Gates.
25:58You know, it's like, Jeffrey Epstein, the remarkable author of such lovely prose fiction.
26:06It's like, yeah, he's just making stuff up left and right.
26:09Like, there's no kernel of truth to it anywhere.
26:12But, yeah, I agree.
26:15Like, this trickle that comes out is, it's very interesting, but it's incredibly dangerous because Ghislaine Maxwell is the only one who's in prison.
26:25Yeah.
26:25Like, the stuff that happened was so bad, and there's so much evidence and so much testimony, and there are so many people like Larry Summers and George Mitchell who've been implicated in worse ways, or people who are just seeking funding for a health care project.
26:41I just...
26:42My issue is, like, the really...
26:44And he had a grape.
26:46A grape?
26:47Grape or grape?
26:48Grape.
26:49Grape.
26:50Grape.
26:50Garrett, cashew.
26:51Oh, like...
26:52Tiny, Epstein...
26:53The grape...
26:53You say they had a grape...
26:55I did not say it.
26:55I thought you said grape.
26:56I did not say it.
26:57I thought you said grape.
26:58That would not be a grape.
27:00We all need those hearing aids they advertise on Fox.
27:05We had a grape.
27:06This is the Rolls Royce of hearing aids.
27:10I can hear my grandma.
27:13She passed.
27:15Seven years ago.
27:15No, no, no, I just got to finish up here and say that there's so much gratuitous weird stuff in those emails that it...
27:23Maybe it was intentional so that the real stuff gets lost.
27:27Like three million pages.
27:29Yeah.
27:29No, I just...
27:30I just...
27:31The term micropenis makes me feel huge.
27:35Now, when you catch a STD from a Russian hooker, is the next time half price?
27:41Ask him for a print.
27:42You know, we can't have...
27:47We can't have adult things on this show.
27:49Here, Melinda.
27:50Take the supplement, Melinda.
27:53I swear.
27:54It never...
27:55Okay.
27:55It'll get rid of the wrinkles.
27:56I have to say, to save my career...
27:58I love you.
27:59It never happened.
28:01Coming up, could your next boss be AI?
28:09Hmm.
28:10Should we be concerned?
28:16Tonight's on Should We Be Concerned?
28:18The Rise of AI Bosses.
28:21All right, Sherrod.
28:22Rent a Human AI.
28:24Sounds a bit like slavery.
28:26Oh.
28:26It's a new...
28:27They keep taking our jobs.
28:29Wait.
28:30No, but get this.
28:31It's a new platform.
28:34Sherrod, it's a new platform that lets AI agents hire humans for physical world tasks so that
28:41they can, like, obviously an AI doesn't have a body, so they create profiles with their
28:46skills, and then they hire the human to run errands, shopping, and holding sex.
28:53Ah, there ain't gonna be no shopping.
28:54Yeah.
28:55Somebody's gonna be having sex with those humans.
28:57When you get your body back, it's gonna be...
28:58You have to clean it like it's a flashlight.
29:02Should've got more.
29:04You know, our audience doesn't know what you're talking about, but I understand it.
29:07They're with their wives, though, so they're gonna...
29:09I get it, fellas.
29:11Is it better than a human boss?
29:14A human boss?
29:15Yeah.
29:15Like a robot boss?
29:16Yeah.
29:17Maybe it is.
29:18Let's give it a try.
29:19Yeah.
29:20I mean, I have some real awful bosses in my life.
29:23I have some nice ones, too.
29:24Yeah.
29:25But maybe AI's gonna do it a different way.
29:26Give you the day off.
29:27Maybe respect Black History Month.
29:32You want the whole month off.
29:34AI never called me out my name.
29:36Rob, is this the first step of buying humans off to do their bidding?
29:43Well, first, I have to go back to our last segment and say that I've never been in a room
29:47where a woman said great before.
29:50I still...
29:51I have to go back to that.
29:55It was a magical moment for me.
29:56Yes.
29:57Now, I mean, I'm sorry there were other guys present, but...
30:00No, I'm...
30:01He was talking to me, Rob.
30:02No, as someone...
30:04As someone...
30:09She meant circumcised.
30:10As someone...
30:11All right.
30:12As someone who's...
30:15I'm recently divorced, as I like to refer to it as a recently demoneyed.
30:19Yeah.
30:21No, I think it's a...
30:23I think it's timely.
30:25Mm-hmm.
30:25And I'm willing...
30:27Yeah.
30:28...to be hired by any AI site that's...
30:31That is open to hiring guys under 5'5".
30:35Yeah.
30:36Okay.
30:36That are...
30:37You have to remember, I'm gonna walk a little bit slower than the average guy.
30:40Mm-hmm.
30:40So, it's gonna take me a little while to get all the errands done.
30:43Yeah.
30:43But...
30:44Some little legs.
30:45But, you know, if you want 100%, I would just tell the AI machine, look, I'm gonna get
30:4980% of what you want, but if you want 100%, do it yourself.
30:52Yeah.
30:54Do you know, we're basically moist robots now.
30:58That's what humans are.
30:59We're moist robots.
31:00I hate that word.
31:02That was moist.
31:04Oh.
31:05I can't wait for the moist robots.
31:08Think about it.
31:09I mean, isn't that what we are now?
31:11Like, AI is...
31:12Not yet.
31:13Well, that's what...
31:13No, we still forget things.
31:15Yeah.
31:15We still get bruises from bumping into things.
31:17Like, we're not there.
31:18We're not part of the singularity yet.
31:20I look forward to it.
31:21I think this is great.
31:22It just goes to show that human beings are resourceful.
31:26And even if some opportunities are diminishing, there's always going to be some form of prostitution.
31:33We will live.
31:34Yes.
31:35Yes.
31:36George, this is good news for you.
31:37You know one thing about moist robots?
31:39What?
31:39No STDs.
31:41You, yes.
31:43Out of way.
31:43At first.
31:44Yes.
31:45At first.
31:45There will be viruses.
31:46George, this has got to be good news for you because you...
31:49Are you working?
31:50I'm working and I'm so excited, though.
31:53I would totally get hired by every AI and just sub it out.
31:56Yeah?
31:57You just sub it out.
31:58Sub it out to other AI?
31:59No, sub it out to other people.
32:00Yes.
32:01You know, you take a half...
32:02You take half the cut for yourself and you sub it out to other people and, you know, you
32:06manage people for the AI.
32:08You would be the middle man.
32:09Yeah.
32:10Which is what you're good at.
32:13I saw that video.
32:14You got that.
32:15Hey, shut up.
32:16I saw that video.
32:18What a filthy...
32:19Allegedly.
32:20It was an iMac.
32:22Allegedly.
32:23Terrible.
32:24All right.
32:24Coming up, viewer mail.
32:31Yep.
32:32You're watching Mailing It In.
32:37This is a pretty interesting question from Fweezy.
32:40We'll go around the horn here.
32:42What is one job where you have to trust people even though you really don't want to?
32:50Divorce lawyers.
32:50Roofers.
32:53Well, you want to...
32:54You trust people?
32:56Oh, my goodness.
32:59Roofers.
33:00Roofers?
33:00Yeah, because I'm not going to climb up there and say, yeah, we're done, Mr. Schneider.
33:04We're all good.
33:04A hundred percent.
33:05You're not going to have a leak until it rains at least three times.
33:10That's like...
33:11That's almost like you can't...
33:13You have to trust a surgeon that they got the thing out.
33:15Yeah.
33:15And you don't know if they got the thing out or they put the thing in.
33:18Sherrod, how about you?
33:22Easy.
33:22Dentist.
33:23Yeah?
33:24Because, yeah, they might put you under.
33:25You wake up.
33:26Your mouth is open the whole time.
33:27Yeah.
33:28You wake up.
33:28The assistant's getting dressed.
33:29He's smiling.
33:33Yeah.
33:34Yeah.
33:34I'm like, that ain't toothpaste.
33:38Yeah.
33:39I rinse a lot.
33:39I rinse when I'm in there.
33:40That is very smart.
33:41What about you, Kennedy?
33:42I mean, the entire staff when you're getting a colonoscopy.
33:47That's right.
33:49I mean, it's like...
33:49You know they're saying stuff.
33:51I like...
33:52The mouth, it's like...
33:53You assume, like, that is a sacred threshold that they're not going to cross with their genitals.
33:58I know.
33:58But this is your...
33:59This is your underlaying butthole.
34:00And you're completely under.
34:02Yeah.
34:03That's...
34:03How do these segments get worse?
34:05So now we're talking...
34:08Enough, Kennedy.
34:10I mean, I could say, oh, the guy who does my taxes.
34:12Meh.
34:13Yeah.
34:13But...
34:13Oh, but that, yeah.
34:15That's why...
34:15That's why I have a little tattoo of Whoopi Goldberg right above it.
34:18Yeah.
34:20They can focus on that.
34:22Get their eyes higher.
34:23Get their eyes higher.
34:24Focus.
34:25Look at Eddie.
34:26Focus.
34:26I was thinking, would it be a prison guard?
34:29No.
34:29Criminal defense lawyers.
34:30Really?
34:31Yeah.
34:31Yeah.
34:31Because you still end up in jail no matter how much you pay them.
34:33You've got to trust them.
34:35That might have been the blackest thing you've said all show.
34:40Good for you.
34:41Good for you, George.
34:42My dad would be very proud.
34:45I'm going to go with Hitman.
34:47Ooh.
34:47Oh.
34:48Because whenever you pay somebody to commit a crime for you, they have it over you that
34:54they now know that you committed a crime.
34:56Yeah.
34:57So I always hire a Hitman for the Hitman.
35:00Oh.
35:01And then a Hitman for the Hitman's Hitman?
35:02For the Hitman.
35:02It goes on forever.
35:04So how many Hitmans are in your bill?
35:05Ain't that a Ryan Reynolds movie?
35:06700.
35:07All right.
35:07We've got time for one more question.
35:10What daily habit do you do that you never knew you had until someone pointed it out,
35:15Kennedy?
35:17Ah!
35:18That sound!
35:21I don't know.
35:22I guess meditation.
35:23Wait, you know when you meditate.
35:25I don't understand the question.
35:28It's like, what kind of thing do you do that you never know you did until somebody said,
35:31hey, would you stop doing that?
35:33Oh.
35:34Oh, probably going...
35:35There's some guy in America right now who's recording this and is going to be used for
35:47later.
35:49I'm that guy, Greg.
35:50You're that guy, George?
35:52I grind my teeth involuntarily.
35:53It's so bad.
35:54I've chipped like two, three veneers in like the last year doing that.
35:57Yeah.
35:57So bad.
35:58What about you, Sherrod?
35:59I pickpocket.
36:03I don't want to, but I see a crowd, I'm like, come on, hands.
36:07I don't know.
36:09It's the AI doing it.
36:11It ain't me.
36:12Rob?
36:13You know, a weird thing made me think about it.
36:15I stretch for no reason sometimes.
36:17I'll just be...
36:18I'll just start to do that.
36:20And I'll get that going.
36:21You know, I do that and like...
36:23And then people think I'm having like a...
36:25Correct.
36:26A seizure.
36:27Yeah.
36:27I was going to say that.
36:28Like I used to...
36:29When I'm in a meeting, sometimes I'll do this.
36:31And I don't know I'm doing it.
36:33You do it on TV, too.
36:34I've got news for you.
36:34Yeah, I do a lot of weird things on TV.
36:36Do you do the fake hug thing and turn around and hug somebody hugging you?
36:40Greg is just lonely.
36:43That was unnecessary.
36:46Probably.
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