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Gutfeld! 12/24/25 Greg Gutfeld FULL END SHOW | ᗷᖇEᗩKIᑎG ᑎEᗯS Tᖇᑌᗰᑭ December 24, 2025
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00:00good evening everyone yes I am Tom Schiller in for Greg on this very special edition of
00:25Gutfeld okay let's do some jokes in the new Melania Trump documentary the first lady tells Donald
00:32he'll be remembered as the peacemaker however that's a little close to the nickname of our last
00:37president the pacemaker harvesters are reporting a global shortage of frankincense so if you're a
00:50wise man try to load up on the myrrh Disney and Hulu are celebrating the 35th anniversary of home
01:00alone by constructing the world's largest gingerbread house and you'll never guess who
01:05they're getting to play Kevin wow did we get him to do that over 200 Indian nationals have been
01:16recruited to fight for Russia against Ukraine Putin is calling it operation tech support
01:22Sunday was the shortest day of the year but to make it seem longer many people attended a Joe
01:34DeVito comedy show like the long shot Joe there I can tell over that one yeah I know we got to go
01:48with what we got though Kate Winslet Kate Winslet claims she was told to settle for quote fat girl
01:55parts for acting work meanwhile actual fat girls were told to settle for Joe DeVito I'm actually cool
02:06with that one that's right that's right I gave you one okay and finally a stolen statue of Bruce Lee
02:13was returned to its home in a Bosnian town square so once again when you think of Bruce Lee you think
02:21Bosnia all right now to my searing monologue do you remember that autopsy of the 2024 election that
02:29Democrats ordered a few months ago while the DNC is burying the report before anyone can read it
02:34that's like watching the Hindenburg blow up and then saying let's fill up the next one and see what
02:39happens and all this is after the DNC interviewed hundreds of Dems in all 50 states to create what they
02:46described as charting a path forward so why bury it well maybe because it wasn't an autopsy but a
02:52suicide note and they panicked which makes you realize if they had the capability to be honest
03:00with themselves they'd realize they didn't need the report to begin with all they had to do was admit
03:05voters didn't love being lectured to but the Dems killing this is kind of perfect because the party's
03:11favorite move after a loss is to bury the evidence and blame the voters but this time the autopsy
03:16apparently said the quiet part out loud it wasn't the voters it was them as the New York Times notes
03:22the unreleased report also said that the party had operated from a defensive posture on issues like
03:28public safety and immigration while ceding ground on the economy to Republicans translation they ignored
03:35problems facing everyday Americans and now they're ignoring their own mistakes now the sane thing to
03:41do would be to correct it sack the crazies and make sure this doesn't happen again but Dems haven't
03:46learned their lesson instead of giving their policies a facelift they're giving themselves a
03:51makeover yep axios reports the Democrats eyeing 2028 presidential runs are losing weight upgrading
03:58their wardrobes and changing their hairstyles to make them more appealing to voters which means our
04:05writers will have to write fat jokes about JB Pritzker in the past tense he was bad yeah he is slimmed down
04:17causing NASA to strip his planet status Pennsylvania governor Josh Shapiro is changing his dated outfits
04:26and opting for tailored more modern suits mayor Pete is growing facial hair and even Cory Booker's trying a beard
04:35but wow Americans aren't buying it as the end of 2025 approaches a Quinnipiac poll found that only 18% of voters give Democrats positive marks
04:48their party is headed for irrelevancy their party is headed for irrelevancy but like Stevie Wonder in math
04:54class Dem leaders can't see the writing on the wall clearly that's an outlier poll listen the most significant
05:01indicator of public sentiment is are you winning elections or are you losing elections and on that front Democrats have been
05:10winning elections since January these results aren't ambiguous they're not unclear they are unequivocal that the
05:19American people are rejecting Republican extremism and embracing our affordability agenda okay Hakeem says don't
05:28believe the polls he sees midterms victory as a parade but voters see it as a crime scene now why would Dems be this
05:36unpopular oh I don't know maybe it's because voters don't want their daughter sharing a
05:40bathroom with a 220-pound power lifter named Carl maybe voters agree illegals who stole taxpayer money and killed Americans should have to
05:49leave our country maybe voters think that if you're an international drug smuggler your drug boat should end up looking like
05:57this that's boom
06:04and here's the thing none of this is a mystery the autopsy didn't uncover some shocking new
06:09diagnosis it just confirmed what voters have been saying for years because if Dems admit their problem
06:14is elitism identity obsession open borders and calling half the country immoral the donations
06:20would start drying up and that's why they didn't want this report getting out because it might force
06:25Democrats to do the unthinkable tackle the issues regular Americans care about bottom line killing the
06:32autopsy doesn't stop the bleeding it's just
06:39there he is let's welcome tonight's guest his performances are a great place to play wordle
06:47comedian and writer Joe DeVito his voice is so rough it could strip furniture comedian Jim Blorentine
06:56she's made a bigger splash on social media than Chris Christie doing a cannonball
07:04political commentator Debra Lea
07:06and he can fill a hot air balloon with one breath former NWA world champion host of the planet tires podcast
07:14okay Joe DeVito I don't know
07:21I don't know who took it harder in the monologue the Democrats or Joe DeVito what do you think yeah that was that's hate speech I hated it
07:28but look hey listen your phone's gonna be ringing so as we enter the new year a bunch of fat chicks
07:36he said he said he's up for it hey it's winter time
07:43yeah maybe just take my advice buy a coat
07:48so do you think the Democrats need a makeover and are they're gonna get their makeover well if they need a makeover I hope they start with Rosa DeLauro because she looks like a comic book villain so they'd like to throw her name into the mix
08:02I I watch this I think I have mixed feelings about this mixed feelings because yeah okay they're making their move they're gonna replace the old school Pelosi and Schumer but who are they replacing them with
08:13they're replacing with Newsom Mondami AOC Jasmine Crockett the four jackasses of the apocalypse they're bringing in and that might sound like a good idea but here's my concern
08:25I hate to agree with Hakeem Jeffries but you don't need to be popular you just need to win elections yeah so there's a lot of times where you win just because you're the least worst option
08:35it's it's actually a line I've used in my dating life
08:38just to say I'm not as bad yeah so I hope the Republicans are paying attention because you know Trump is what brought them along on this but Trump is not going to be around forever
08:50and they just don't get cocky is what I'm saying because the Democrats yeah they're not popular but the Republicans are not super popular either
08:59and like he said it's votes are what matters so Republicans you better have a better alternative you can't just go up and say yeah they're terrible too
09:07it doesn't because Trump is now he's not the alternative he's the guy that's in office the Republicans are the ones that are in office
09:13yes and if they're not getting the job done people are going to say well what else do you have and we've seen what else is out there it's pretty bad
09:19yes Jim I I gotta agree that Joe makes sense there
09:22I thought I would just beat up on Democrats and would all have a good time laughing at them but he doesn't make a good point it doesn't matter
09:30you saw what happened recently in Virginia we were all laughing at that woman remember Abigail Spanberg when she couldn't talk at the debate
09:36she was standing staring straight ahead Abigail should men be in women's locker rooms
09:41she's just standing there trying to hide she won the election because it doesn't matter it matters who shows up right
09:47it matters who shows up and I don't know does a makeover really make a difference like what they look like
09:51the left's been making fun of Trump for eight years over his makeup and his hair he's won two elections so I don't think it matters
09:58yeah you know like even in 2016 I was gonna vote for Chris Christie before Trump came along
10:03you know and obviously I wasn't worried about appearance
10:06but imagine if he would have won like you know everyone's giving uh Trump crap because he's building
10:13the ballroom at the White House he would have built a food court there
10:15exactly exactly
10:19you remember he was but did you like him as governor remember when I did for like two weeks in New Jersey
10:26I'm from New Jersey yeah he was great for like two weeks and then he just yeah he was a flash in a pan
10:31he was like Jeremy Lin the basketball player yeah that had like six great games
10:35exactly I think that's why he hated Trump so much is that he became anti-Trump because he thought he
10:39could be Trump yeah because he was like a tough talker and then it never came through
10:43Debra welcome to the show first time here
10:46don't worry
10:50don't be intimidated it's easy with old Shalhou here okay so Debra
10:55what uh you know what do you think of of what
10:58don't look at Tyrus he's over there making fun of me
11:01don't worry about with old Shalhou
11:04I'm telling her
11:05she would don't you agree wait 60s airplane pilot don't
11:10don't you agree on a first show it's probably easier to
11:14yeah it's easier because old Shalhou
11:17he's keeping it Shalhoucy goosey
11:21yeah I guess listen I deserve I'm so sorry there Shalhou I thought I thought Tyrus gonna
11:31be easy on me that's why I went after DeVito twice
11:33Debra I'm just glad nobody's coming after me yet
11:36no you're good but what do you think of the Democrats is the makeover gonna work and who do
11:41you think you know is it is it Gavin who's the the standard bearer over there well I think this is the Sidney Sweeney effect that everybody's realizing that hotness actually matters and that's something that matters in the marketplace it can we saw American Eagle their stock went up and this is something that we've been saying on our side of the aisle for a long time take pride in your looks take pride in your femininity or your masculinity and left to said no there's no difference none of that matters and they've tried to make it work and it hasn't worked and that's weird that they're bringing up the trans issue again now and I think that's part of the reason they're killing the autopsy
12:11apparently according to them they don't want to release it because it's going to divide the party but nothing divides them like losing presidential elections apparently but as far as Hakeem Jeffries saying that oh you know it doesn't matter what happens because we're actually winning they're winning elections in Somalia in Minnesota and they're winning in places that they're local small special elections and they're just importing people in so I think that we're good we're in a good sense right now and I just hope that they run Kamala again honestly in 2028 that will be a great one for us there was a lot of good sound
12:41sound bites there falling out of the coconut tree situations like that you know a lot of laughs that we're not at anything or towards anyone just staring off the ha ha ha in the middle of her speeches but realistically they need they need to stop putting forward whoever's popular on TikTok there's nobody at the front so people like Jasmine Crockett Mom Donnie whoever can twerk the best on TikTok or make the best branded messaging is suddenly the forefront of the party and it's pretty sad pretty sad Tyrus go ahead give it up for her
13:11Tyrus you know they tried to hide this report I think hiding their positions might be their best course of action going forward they could hide if if I were ahead of the Democratic Party I don't want to give me any advice but I would say stop talking about the trans issue stop talking about stop defending the illegal immigration stop going after ICE and just you know tamp that down and then maybe they could get some middle of the road voters does that make sense yeah it does but then
13:41you just cut all their money they're not saying this because they like it half of them don't even believe it yeah they're saying it because that's where the funding comes from those people write the checks the special interest groups that's what the problem with the Democrat I get it I'm with them I would not do not show this autopsy nobody in this country doesn't know what happened we literally all were unburdened by what has been and we all know what that is now what has been is the Democratic Party
14:11why would you want to relive that would you want to relive that would you want to relive watching old wedding tapes of your wife who left you for your best man no no one wants to see that no one of the families like hey let's break out that Christmas when dad messed up and burnt down half the house and the camera's the only thing to say why do you want to relive a horrible moment we all know what happened here's the thing the reason they're putting the the TikTokers and the dumbasses and the DEIs up front
14:41the front line right now are are serious candidates Hakeem Jeffries on the other hand is a serious candidate why because he does work he passes laws and while we're all talking about this and fighting over whether Jasmine Crockett speaks hood or speaks dumb either way it's the same
14:56why we're doing that he's building policy he's doing this the Republican Party never knows how to play with a lead they they never do doesn't matter the only difference the only thing that saves the Republican Party was when President Trump went down the escalator when he stepped off he said he was a Republican if he said he was going to be a Democrat it would have been the same it would have been a completely different thing and would be like what's wrong with the Republicans politics around the whole bent they're controlled by money and they're told by the people who they when wrestling we have this term called
15:26lead from underneath which means the guy who looks like he's kicking ass is just being told what to do by the guy who is the ring general yeah what our politics is the real people the ones who make these decisions the one who make dumbasses walk out on a podium and take it take a stance against it's wrong to blow up drug dealers boats with drugs in it nobody with any common sense has ever said that but when you are in five or six mil to these special interest groups who are pushing
15:56that you're going to come out and say that you're going to come out and say that yeah there it is up next Trump makes a move on Greenland but first some familiar faces share their holiday memories
16:07last year was pretty hard to forget instead of attending the staff Christmas party himself Greg hired a guy who sort of looks like him to go in his place
16:25I can't think of a better gift
16:28Trump sets his eyes on a big green prize President Trump recently appointed Louisiana Governor Jeff Landry as a special envoy to Greenland with the goal of making the territory part of the United States
16:48I wonder do we need it for national protection we need it for national protection we need Greenland for national protection they have a very small population
16:58and I don't know they say Denmark but Denmark has spent no money they have no military protection they say that Denmark was there 300 years ago or something with a boat well we were there with boats too I'm sure we need Greenland for national security
17:12national security and if you take a look at Greenland you look up and down the coast you have Russian and Chinese ships all over the place we need it for national security we have to have it
17:23do we really have to have it it would risk war with Denmark though to be honest they've been asking for it since Hamlet
17:30okay Jim you know the Danish are getting upset about this but I like his point he said you know they say that you know Denmark but you know they went there with a boat we have boats too
17:44crazy
17:45come on you can't argue with that logic
17:49you can't I know
17:50well maybe we could trade Denmark we'll give them like Guam and they could give us Greenland
17:55yeah
17:55you know do a fair trade but why why do we want Greenland it's 80% ice
17:59can we pick a better country
18:01you know yeah let's say like Costa Rica that's a great place
18:05beautiful weather you know cool surfing
18:08prostitution's legal
18:09that's a win-win
18:12I hadn't thought about that so it's basically we want a country we just have to pick the one we want but look Greenland is right there
18:20I don't know why you know Denmark has it anyway I like the way he says Joe people say
18:26yeah
18:27he's not even making you think he read the full Wikipedia he just sort of glanced
18:32he's like I don't know maybe they were there with boats who's to say
18:36who's to say if Denmark is actually a country at this point I don't know people are talking about
18:42it in various sort of vague ways
18:44but could they stop us I mean if we decided that we want it I'm not saying you know I'm not talking about violence
18:49invasion whatever but if you know there a lot of people are treating it like oh this is just Trump being Trump but
18:54the thing is he it makes sense strategically yes he says we need it the resources Denmark's not using it I mean this is the way they used to get things done
19:03yeah well I have been to Greenland you have yes and people don't know Greenland is one of the original real estate scams
19:10because Eric the Red the Viking got kicked out of Iceland and he went to Greenland and he wanted to get people to settle there so he came back and he said
19:17yeah it's green it's you can do all kinds of farming and people went there like this has more ice in Iceland and he was like no no refunds
19:25that's that's how it's why it's called Greenland wow Eric the red the red scammed them so I went there
19:31to Trump the orange is taking it oh yeah yes it's um it's it's got a great location I mean it's almost up
19:39at the at the pole I went there to perform for the troops at the Air Force Base and our troops yeah
19:44no the Iranian troops I didn't know we had to say wait a minute so you know something I don't know so we got
19:49troops there why don't we just take it we should there's nobody to have yaks like who's going to
19:54stop us but here's the problem it is so it's the kind of cold there where it doesn't give you the
20:00flu it gives you Tourette's because you walk outside you're like son of a and and they told us when we
20:07got there it was this time of year it's it's pitch black because it's it's the time of year there's no
20:12sun there's no sun it was 20 below zero and they said we spotted fresh polar bear tracks so be careful
20:17when you're outside and I said what do you think I'm going to be doing outside I'm hiding in my
20:22room with the bed pushed up against the door so yeah I think um I think Greenland's an interesting
20:28idea but this is what I think we should do with it that we should not just take Greenland for the
20:31strategic military value but it's a good place to maybe put some migrants so let's let's take the
20:37Somalians because we keep hearing about how the Somalians are responsible for turning Minneapolis
20:42into a great state they seem to do okay in the cold give them Greenland let them work their
20:47magic there there we go well I've never been but Tyrus it sounds great there you know total don't know
20:58it's a polar bear tracks it's cold as hell it's you know I I like this from a bully standpoint he's
21:07basically saying he's making them an offer that they can't refuse yeah because if they refuse he's
21:12going to take it but otherwise he's going to start building their beautiful casinos air force bases
21:20and he's going to it's going to happen but they're doing it he's doing it like a gentleman he's not
21:26just rushing into Greenland and just strongholding her and tell her you're with me now he's romancing
21:31her he's taking her out to dinner he's getting to know her meeting her family and realizing that all
21:35he has to worry about is a bunch of blondes on bikes so there's not much like Denmark military's
21:42coming oh no oh here they come oh they one of them fell over on their bike well war's over we won
21:49like there's the he's doing this the right way because then Greenland's gonna have a little huddle
21:55and be like he's gonna take it all okay you can have the shoreline and the coast and you can put
22:00your bases and stuff there and he's gonna like thank you there it is thank you deborah never
22:05you've never negotiated old shaloo old shaloo knows how to negotiate all right deborah i i can't make
22:13sense of this we got our troops there i i don't think denmark's you know doing anything i think
22:17it's time to move in you know you know china is going to move on i don't even want to say it they're
22:22going to they're they're very aggressive you know what uh putin just did we invaded ukraine i mean
22:27can't we get a little bit aggressive well they don't take taiwan first and they're definitely
22:30going to go for it china but yeah at this point i think that the population is 60 now i think i
22:35know it's 60 000 that's smaller than chelsea manhattan like you said unless they've colonized
22:39the polar bears and figured out how to ride them into battle bears and figured out how to ride them
22:43into battle and it's very cold but it's the first time that the left is ever defending ice so i will
22:47take it from them boom there you go deborah got it before we go quick reminder i am doing live shows
22:57next year some live shows with greg some on my own go to tomshaloo.com to find out where i'll be
23:01and if you sign the mailing list i'll send you a special video up next the guy ucla doesn't have to pay
23:08he wouldn't change a grade and now he's not getting paid tonight the story of gordon klein the
23:21ucla professor who was suspended in 2020 after refusing a student's request to grade black
23:27students more leniently in the wake of george floyd's death he sued the school for 13 million
23:33dollars claiming the suspension damaged his consulting career well earlier this month a
23:37judge ruled against him on all claims finding ucla acted reasonably but so-called higher ed is a sham
23:46grades are meaningless if they're adjusted by how a racial group might feel what's next give white
23:52students a day off when pat boone dies
23:54and he's a good guy is that was that the right guy to pick maybe eminem yeah yeah i was thinking
24:05yeah yeah well it was either him or you deborah do you even know who pat boone is i'm gonna go to
24:11you first because you look like you are in middle school um just high school that's how they let me on
24:17the show no okay um i've never heard of him and i was trying to laugh along to be supportive but
24:22maybe i shouldn't be saying that to you all if he's important then i absolutely do know him no
24:26it's okay old shalou can have i wrote a report on him if he was important if not then not at all but
24:32i actually watched a documentary about this guy this is ridiculous that he was fired he wasn't
24:36accused of bias precisely the opposite he was fired because he was accused of being neutral and not
24:42saying a week after the george floyd riots or george floyd's death saying oh i'm gonna let black
24:48students get off easier it's based off of one paper your whole final grade he simply said no
24:53how do you know that a white student from that's it uh that region may not be more effective than a
24:58fellow black student in class i'm just going to be neutral and treat everybody equally and we've
25:02defeated racism so much so that now if you're neutral you're racist according to the left and
25:07it's really ridiculous i feel so bad for this guy and i had something similar in my college we had
25:11black only math classes at my university just a few years ago i was there so
25:16more recent than 2020 this was 2022 and they market it as it's not fair to make black students
25:23be around their white colonizer peers they need a safe environment wow and i was like isn't this
25:28racist but then they didn't let me into the student union building because it was indigenous people's
25:32only nights anyway so we've just gone full circle that we're excluding people based off of nothing
25:37depending on the week and i feel really bad for this guy maybe he can get a slot on fox news
25:42maybe maybe people have a thriving a media career jim the uh this i i sometimes i think this is
25:49getting better you know that we had turning point this week and it people were saying like now
25:54finally we've moved on we haven't really moved on well we still have to deal with stuff like this
25:57right yeah well i'm look it's in california you know liberal judge of course shoots it down so
26:02you know of course that's going to happen there uh but no i mean look i mean who knows
26:07this guy you know i don't know what's going to happen right 17 million he's not going to get so
26:12what do you think i mean i'm all for the white guy i don't know i love i love this i'm sorry you know
26:19i love this i love this you you scared bastards you're so scared because the white guy can't say
26:25i'm in favor of the white guy just say it you'll feel so much better like look because it is yeah my
26:31kid's going to college soon so you know i don't know maybe that'll help him get better grades
26:35his name is luke maybe if i change it to jamal he'll get better grades i think so try that on
26:40the application see they won't laugh oh see they're because they won't laugh i'm gonna say
26:43it's not on you wait wait maybe i'll send in a black face
26:48not this no but you know what say that is a reasonable thought when they're lowering the bar
26:56the worst part is is that the disturbance that this is doing to these black students is you are
27:03one perpetuating the racism that they're not equal in intelligence to white people so they have to
27:09have dumbed down classes so then they don't get the opportunity to meet their full potential and
27:14then you release them to the work world where they show up on the first day of the job and they can't
27:20compete because they don't have the necessary skills because you didn't challenge them when they were
27:26trying to learn so what you just did in your magnificent thing to protect the races is you
27:33us from having a living because you forced us to be stupid by teaching us dumb so in that case
27:40if i was to go to ucla right now my name would be old tom shalute
27:44i like it i like it uh devito i mean he taught he taught at ucla for years the man knows what he's
27:58doing obviously they tried to pressure him he didn't stand it so he can hold his head high right
28:02well this this whole conversation we're having is hard to believe i mean i don't want to hear about
28:06anything like black only math classes i don't want to hear about white only math classes uh asian only
28:13math classes i'm listening that's what the smart money is um this guy it's his own fault it's own
28:22fault and i'll tell you why because when the student emailed him he forgot he thought he actually works
28:27at a place of learning yeah he does not universities are now uh he's a glorified camp counselor at a money
28:33laundering operation okay so he replied honestly he's asking questions like what do i do with a
28:40student who's mixed race or all these things which are wonderful questions but that's not where he
28:43works what he should have passed the buck that would have been the smart move is to say like oh you
28:48know i hope you're not traumatized by this and let me pass you over to the counseling group here and get
28:54it out of his hands so he wouldn't have to pay the price like this but tyrus makes the point here i
28:59can't think of a better way to make people question the credentials of a person of color because now
29:05if if this is known everyone's going to be like i don't know if this doctor is really i don't know if
29:10this engineer or if this accountant is really able to do the job and they have no one to blame but
29:15they're themselves but that goes to show like universities are a scam so i don't know what you do with
29:20your kids if you send them to school send them to a trade school teach them how to actually do
29:25something that works in the real world yeah masonry all right up next bye bye plastic utensils but first
29:32this
29:32i'll never forget when one christmas greg sang oh holy night at the fox christmas party
29:46kidding of course no one would invite greg to the fox christmas party
29:50jersey could ban plastic utensils okay uh jim you're from jersey i don't know if you heard about
30:05this proposed law uh it's in new jersey it would ban restaurants from providing single-use
30:10plastic utensils and condiment packages in dine-in establishments this is what our lawmakers are
30:17spending their time on did you hear about this yeah i heard about it i mean it's not that big of
30:20a deal half the people that live in new jersey carry a knife on them anyway no but i live there i mean
30:26it's like you know we have the highest property tax in the nation right newark airport's the worst
30:32airport ranked and then you know 27 to go through a tunnel that come from new jersey into new york
30:38and they're worrying about a plastic fork that's what's on their mind i thought that this was tyrus
30:45i thought this was lawmakers who were kind of angry about those you know during covet they turned
30:50everything over to single-use items and plastic you know the utensils inside a plastic bag it wasn't
30:56that this was like environmentalists they this is a waste thing they don't want to waste the uh
31:02plastic just like the the straw bands and things like that that's what this is about
31:07why in the blue hell are we even talking about this this is i know it's a slow news week yeah damn
31:20listen new jersey if you want to fix something you really want to make people happy
31:25get rid of them stupid ass left-hand turns why do we have to make a left-hand turn go through a
31:30whole neighborhood run over children just to go it's ridiculous no lawmaker in new jersey should be
31:36allowed to make laws they should have it up and put the people to vote because they come up with
31:41the dumbest it makes no sense whatsoever the person that want to do this is the same thing
31:47we're going back to why joe's popular with the fact checks he always has forks and utensils in his
31:51pockets at all times people people are upset because they gain weight during the pandemic and
31:56they want to blame it on plastic forks go do some sit-ups run a lap and leave everybody alone
32:01leave the straws alone guess what sea turtles are going to be fine okay plastic in new jersey is
32:07the least of the problems okay clean up fix your left-hand turns and lower the taxes on going through
32:15a tunnel it's ridiculous it's a tunnel it's not even a magic tunnel it isn't even like a troll
32:19messing with you it's just a dirty ass tunnel 27 for that at least put a movie on the wall or
32:24something yeah give you some food and a plastic fork they got a car wash yeah it's also at sporting
32:32events too they're going to ban this so what do you think those drunks at you know metlife stadium
32:36are going to do with that metal knife yeah you think they're going to return it to the counter or
32:40stab the cowboy fan next door that's annoying it's true please the giants fans will be cutting their
32:46wrists right no no that's the jets deborah this is i mean it's actual legislation the lawmakers are
32:54trying to pass it uh but the business owners they say it's going to interfere with the way they do
32:59business let them make their decisions they know how to make money absolutely and i think this is just
33:03going to further raise the cost of food and we all know how expensive it is to go to a restaurant let
33:08alone get takeout or delivery i thought we already had this though in new york because on uber eats every
33:12single time it makes you request it and even when i request it they won't give me forks or chopsticks
33:16i just got to go mom donnie style with my food eating with my fingers and it's really annoying
33:21because sometimes i don't know food tastes better with the plastic stuff but like you said new jersey
33:26is full of trash this is really the least of their problems they need to clean up the trash that
33:30already exists there most of them are in newark new jersey sleeping on the sides of the street
33:33sorry we we should take over new jersey instead of greenland
33:38invade new jersey new york should just take it over and then combine you might have enough
33:45republicans to maybe get a normal governor into this state now but it just they're pinching us
33:50every single thing it seems like we're paying more and we're getting less and the people who's really
33:54going to suffer the small business owners new jersey is very heavily reliant on business restaurant
33:59owners to if their food costs go up they're not able to provide as good of an experience for their
34:03clients people are going to start cooking at home again even more than they already are now and it's
34:07just not fair it's not supporting these businesses and i would like to see a report on exactly how
34:11many sea turtles were saved from giving us those soggy disgusting cardboard straws that we now have
34:16across the country exactly i have to i have to disagree with one thing you cannot invade new jersey you
34:24just do you know how bad it's going to be with tank stuff on left-hand turns yeah it's going to be a
34:30complete nightmare a complete nightmare they'll never get it joe uh this is not just the sit-down
34:37establishments i thought it was this is they're saying that when you go to get takeout they're not
34:41supposed to put the plastic forks in your bag you have to especially ask for them yeah yeah they food
34:46trucks it includes food trucks that's that's who i want handing the reusable cutlery the guy who just
34:52changed his tire on a food truck but some excellent point for the people the rest of the country who
34:58don't know what tires to talk about new jersey they have these jug handles so that if you miss a left
35:02hand exit you'd have to drive to miami and start over again and the the stupid sea turtles they took away
35:09our beloved those those stupid paper straws it's it's as comfortable as wiping your ass with the
35:14cardboard roll instead of the paper just because a couple of sea turtles got all coked up that we
35:20couldn't use our plastic straws anymore so it's ridiculous i mean what's i i can imagine what the
35:25next step is that when you're born they just uh they give you a personalized spork and it has your
35:32social security number on it and you just have to use that for the rest of your life and if you lose it
35:36you starve to death and that's socialism that'll work coming up great news for blue-collar dudes
35:44in greg's romance corner
35:52tonight in greg's romance corner according to a new report there's a new trend of corporate women
36:00looking for quote hallmark hunks that's rugged blue-collar guys like farmers electricians straight
36:05out of a rom-com they're sick of office culture dating apps and they want to fall in love with a
36:10grounded small town man does this make sense why don't i go to the lady deborah do you want a
36:15hallmark hunk personally no not necessarily okay i was like holding for a reaction this is not
36:23straight out of hallmark this is straight out of lana del rey's life lana del rey if you don't know
36:26she's like a worldly famous incredible musician celebrity a-list and then she met this guy on an
36:33alligator tour pat boone yeah you're gonna have to let it go shalou just let it go i'm gonna get a
36:40picture next time but she met him literally he was leading alligator tours in the everglades and they
36:45fell in love and they got married and she just totally brought him into his life they have a
36:48beautiful relationship and now i think women are looking maybe after we hated on men for the last five
36:54years saying we don't need no man i'm an independent woman maybe it actually is the men who are masculine
36:58and will be there and provide and protect you that is the answer to this and i've been saying this for
37:02a long time this is not a hallmark this is just normal the finance bros who work 80 hours a week
37:07give you no attention all that stuff some women like that sure but overall people want meaningful
37:12relationships there's a loneliness epidemic that's happening and maybe these lumberjacks actually
37:16the time to get all cuddly and cozy with you by the fire wow so she agreed this is it's a true thing
37:22they want the blue collar guys i don't know i'm i'm sorry shalou but you literally have a lumberjack
37:27sitting right there i mean literally i thought yeah i mean yeah he's an expert yeah sorry that border
37:36means a lot more to me i would get that i was gonna get there you want to jump in here yeah sure i mean
37:41look it's not true i live in jersey i'm a blue collar guy from jersey you know i could chop my own wood
37:46same thing that guy could do they don't want it the only time a blue collar guy wants to come into
37:51new york city is to go to like a hockey game that's it they don't want to come into the date
37:55i went on a date with a girl like a month ago and i wore a flannel and she's like wow a flannel on the
37:59first date i'm like yeah she's like is that burberry i'm like no old navy gift card why
38:04and i haven't heard from her since so i think that was one of the clinches they don't want to live in
38:10the suburbs where it's quiet they can't get 24 hours a day they can't get whatever they want
38:14starbucks 11 o'clock on a saturday night the only thing open is domino's
38:18you know delivery that they don't like it is it true or no what we got opposing views joe what is
38:24it well i think this shows that women are deranged they are yeah because not even 10 years ago what
38:30was it that women wanted they wanted 50 shades of gray oh you had to be a billionaire smacking her
38:35ass with a belt that's what they wanted yeah that's now now that belt's got to have tools on it
38:42what do they what do they want from us they want flannel they want good good around the house that's
38:47lesbians that's what they want tyrus you've got to wrap it up tyrus what is it what's the answer
39:01run for your lives fellas run for your lives the bear trap don't go away we'll be right back
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