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Greg Gutfeld! (Full Show) | October 31, 2025
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00:00.
00:15Yes!
00:22Happy Grego-ween.
00:25It's Friday, so you know what that means.
00:27Let's welcome tonight's guest
00:28for the show.
00:30His favorite Halloween candy is
00:32Payday, Shark Tank star Kevin O'Leary.
00:37This Halloween, she's bringing you
00:39eye candy, Fox Business Correspondent
00:41Madison Hallward.
00:45For Halloween, he always goes as
00:47Lieutenant Dan, Fox's contributor
00:49Johnny Joey Jones.
00:53And finally, Needles look for her
00:56in a haystack.
00:57New York Times best-selling author and
00:59Fox News contributor, Cat Jim.
01:02All right.
01:04Before we get to some news stories,
01:06let's do this.
01:08Greg's Leftovers.
01:12Mmm.
01:13It's Leftovers where I read the jokes
01:15we didn't use this week, and as always,
01:17it's my first time reading them.
01:18So if they suck, we'll make Joe Mackey
01:20dress up as Shirley Temple and go
01:22trick-or-treating on Epstein Island.
01:27Yeah.
01:32Kamala Harris declared that Joe Biden was competent to serve another four years.
01:41Her husband was so shocked, he fell off his nanny.
01:47And Florida, a couple was arrested for leaving their infant alone on a beach.
01:53Yeah, apparently only first ladies can do that.
01:56According to a new study, having morning sex increases your levels of job productivity and overall satisfaction.
02:08But one man adds, just wait till the wife leaves the house.
02:18Actress Sydney Sweeney showed up to the Variety Women's event.
02:24And she looks so hot, you can even see Jamie Lee Curtis' boner.
02:30Terrible.
02:33You shouldn't have written that, Kat.
02:35Come on.
02:37Florida put to death their 15th inmate this year, setting another state record.
02:42They chalk up their success to a brand-new executioner.
02:46Maine Democrat hopeful in Nazi tattoo owner, Graham Plattner is under fire for questioning why black people don't tip.
02:58He apologized, saying if they struggle with the math, they should ask some Asians.
03:03I know.
03:05He's terrible.
03:06He's terrible.
03:08Kamala Harris wanted to be on Travis Kelsey's podcast, but he told her we do sports, not politics.
03:15And she responded that she's ranked number one in beer pong.
03:21CNN's Abby Phillip admitted her network is probably like center left.
03:26To be clear, it's more like audience left.
03:32Oh, thank you.
03:34Play on words.
03:37According to scientists, Neanderthals could be brought back to life within 20 years.
03:42Way ahead of you, said Fox News.
03:48Eh, he's off today.
03:50Russia tested a nuclear missile they're calling Tiny Chernobyl.
03:53Turns out it's just a hamper full of Jerry Nadler's underpants.
03:57Yeah, it's a big payload.
04:04The House Oversight Committee claimed Biden's, Biden's, Biden's, Biden's inner circle controlled his cabinet meetings, who he talked to and where to walk.
04:17Here's his inner circle.
04:22New York Times reported that while running for high school vice president, Zoran Mamdani promised students freshly squeezed juice.
04:30A squirrel named Chunkasaurus Rex won the top spot in the Texas fat squirrel week competition.
04:53The prize is a week-long stay on top of Maxine Waters' head.
05:02Wow.
05:03Don't have to try.
05:05Eric Swalwell demanded all 2028 Democratic candidates promise to take a wrecking ball to the Trump ballroom.
05:12But claims it's a coincidence that the wrecking ball would muffle the sounds of his uncontrollable farting.
05:2225% of young adults across the U.S. are functionally illiterate.
05:27Yet more than half earned a high school diploma.
05:31Worse, some even write books.
05:34Don Lemon's being widely criticized for insulting Megyn Kelly by saying she looks trans.
05:43Oh, God, I hate it when women fight.
05:46And finally, in the U.K., the cover, what's wrong with me?
05:59The cover of Glamour magazine's Women of the Year issues features all trans women, i.e. men.
06:07It comes with a poster that both folds out and pops up.
06:15I got there.
06:19What's with my mouth?
06:20All right.
06:21So today is Halloween, or as some call it, the Day of the Dead.
06:29But I love it.
06:30I love it when the kids come by my house.
06:32It's the only time I can get rid of those little packets of soy sauce.
06:36But while it's just one night where everyone wears costumes that are meant to scare,
06:46for the Dems, it's a daily thing.
06:48The same ghouls and goblins scaring voters with ghost stories.
06:52And the media is along for the ride, taking the fear and spreading it like monkey pox at a Hunter Biden pool party.
06:59But while the Dems sell fear, Republicans are fighting real ones.
07:03Immigration, criminals, fentanyl.
07:05Trump knows what's at stake because he listens to voters.
07:08He knows what really scares them.
07:10And it's men in their daughter's locker rooms, not our clouds racist.
07:15But the Dems don't see reality.
07:17They forge nightmares.
07:19The most recent one, the impending White House ballroom.
07:23I mean, are you effing kidding me?
07:25Are you f***ing kidding me?
07:27This guy wants to create a ballroom for his rich friends
07:31while completely turning a blind eye to the fact that babies are going to starve when the SNAP benefits end in just hours from now?
07:40Come on.
07:41So I'm not going to be distracted by, oh, does the guy have a big f***ing hammer?
07:46It's not just the desecration of the White House.
07:49It shows that Donald Trump is not focused on fixing health care, but rather on vanity projects.
07:55The People's House is basically being sold to the higher spitter.
08:00Yeah.
08:01It is corruption at its core.
08:03You want to talk about corruption at its core?
08:06Look up Arctic Frost.
08:08It's not just Bill's nickname for Hillary's vagina.
08:11Multiple presidents have done renovations.
08:22Hell, how soon we forget that Bill Clinton once installed a sex swing in the humidor.
08:28Then there's the no kings fear.
08:32President Trump, we don't want you or any other king to rule us.
08:40We will never surrender.
08:42So Donald Trump, stay the hell out of Chicago.
08:45Donald Trump is not a king.
08:48Donald Trump is a bully.
08:51Trump does think that he's a king.
08:53And he thinks that he can act more corruptly when the government is shut down.
08:57Sorry, clowns.
09:00If Trump was king, how come he can't reopen the government?
09:04In what land is a king held hostage by an unpopular party?
09:08If Trump was king, he could have ended the shutdown by royal decree
09:11and then do the right thing and banish all women who are less than a seven.
09:16Now, who put that picture in?
09:22Then there's the third term fear.
09:25If he files to run for presidency and attempts to run for elections
09:31and then circumvents and ignores the rules,
09:35he's a violation of the Constitution of the United States that he should be arrested.
09:37Are they going to let this happen?
09:40Are y'all going to let it happen?
09:43But he iterates. He throws things out.
09:46And he plays with it. And he sees how people react.
09:49And it manifests.
09:50Meaning, once a mind is stretched, it never goes back to its original form.
09:55And that's my concern.
09:57What's with all those hand movements?
10:00Why not just fully transition into a mime?
10:06At least, then you'd shut up.
10:09Look, Trump can't run constitutionally. He's even admitted it.
10:13He's pulling your chain like Joe Biden does when he needs the nurse to come empty the bedpan.
10:18It's a fun recreational belief and it works.
10:22It keeps countries from believing they can wait Trump out.
10:25And it sends the view deeper and deeper into therapy.
10:28And recreational beliefs, unlike the Democrats' destructive ones, don't lead to mutilated kids,
10:34gangs taking over apartment complexes, or men pretending to be women to enter safe spaces.
10:40But enough about Jennifer Welch.
10:45The Dems' fears could be dangerous.
10:48And the only fear we should have is what fake fear they choose next.
10:52Fear the fear.
10:54Because Dems never learn from mistakes.
10:56They just find a new costume for them.
10:58What will their next fake crisis be to scare people into giving them power?
11:02Methane is going to warm the planet?
11:05Well, stop feeding Joy Behar tacos.
11:08But for them, Halloween never ends.
11:15They just pick new masks and new get-ups.
11:18One day it's defund the police and climate hysteria.
11:21The next it's ISIS the Gestapo and Sidney Sweeney's a Nazi.
11:25Their ideas are worse than Fox wanting me to do a fully clothed calendar.
11:33No one's going to buy that.
11:35Which is why the Dems can't run on ideas.
11:38And instead of matching Trump's good moves, they counter them with hysteria.
11:42And remember, these are the same people who gaslit you over real fears.
11:46An open border, rampant crime, and a brain-dead president
11:50while pushing imaginary panics.
11:52But they only work when you believe them, and we don't.
11:55They're the party that cried wolf so many times they should be tested for rabies.
12:00Here he is!
12:07Kevin, you, uh, you look magnificent today.
12:11Thank you. I was born in 1601 in Vienna, and I had my first waltz with Barbara Cochran then.
12:16Oh, nice!
12:18Does she watch this show?
12:19Well, I guess she does now.
12:20Yeah!
12:21Is it true that vampires dress up as you for Halloween?
12:24Well, the truth is, this year the community's coming to New York.
12:28Last year was Paris, previous year was Zurich.
12:30And we all flap over here, and the specialty on dinner tonight?
12:34New York, Central Park, Chihuahua.
12:38Mmm!
12:39So if you've got a Chihuahua, and you're in New York, don't walk the dog tonight.
12:42No!
12:43You know, this is the story about we eat rats.
12:45We eat Chihuahua.
12:46They're much better.
12:47What do you think?
12:48What do you think about fear as a persuasion tool?
12:53We know that it works, but doesn't it have to be tethered to something?
12:57Fear of fear itself is the very best.
13:00I really work with it quite often.
13:01Yeah.
13:02It's fantastic.
13:03I mean, if the fear of the unknown, that's what people are scared about.
13:06That's it.
13:07Fear of the unknown in politics, fear of the unknown in your life, dating, marriage.
13:11The unknown.
13:12Everybody fears it.
13:13Wow.
13:14You're like a philosopher with a really big collar.
13:17You know, do people, when they try to pitch a product on Shark Tank, does fear help?
13:23Like, a lot of products based on a fear of something bad happening?
13:27You know what happens?
13:28They practice.
13:29This is true.
13:30They practice for months.
13:31They get their big day.
13:32They're gonna come in.
13:33And, you know, they've practiced, but they've never been in front of all the cameras,
13:3526 of them, a billion dollars in front of them.
13:38And every once in a while, I'm doing this for 17 years, okay?
13:42And that's a very short time in vampire lives, by the way.
13:44Yeah, that's true.
13:45So, they're standing so tall and so stiff, they pass out.
13:50Wow.
13:51Right onto the cement.
13:54That's fear, buddy.
13:55Yeah.
13:56Another victim for you, Kevin.
13:58Madison, happy Halloween.
14:00Happy Halloween.
14:01What are you coming as?
14:03Snow White.
14:04Oh, that's beautiful.
14:05Fox version.
14:06Yes.
14:08What do you make of, what do you make of this, that Democrats relying so much on fear as
14:14opposed to, like, policy?
14:15I mean, like you said, fear sells.
14:18It's a really great mobilizing force.
14:21If you can align people with a fear, you can control them.
14:25Yeah.
14:26So, that is tried and true.
14:28I think the fear of the running again for a third term, you put it perfectly.
14:33Trump knows what to say to get people riled up.
14:36I think it sends a good warning.
14:37Mm-hmm.
14:38But it's just so silly.
14:39The fact that The View is looking out and saying, what are you going to do?
14:42What are they going to do about it?
14:43Nothing.
14:44Yeah.
14:45And just as a baseline, it's absurd.
14:47Trump at the end of this term, I think, is going to be 82.
14:49Yes.
14:50If he ran a third term, which he can't, he would be 86.
14:53I think we've learned that at a certain age, we need to retire.
14:56Yes.
14:57So, what are we even talking about?
14:58But what we're talking about is fear.
15:00And they know if you can get people afraid, you can get them to do what you want.
15:03And you're right.
15:04And if Trump, what did you say, is 81 at the end, right?
15:0882.
15:0982.
15:10The thing he should be doing is coming to Fox and selling Relaxium.
15:15Right?
15:16Joey, is there anything you're scared of?
15:21I'm not afraid of anything besides, like, brisk walks and, you know, random things on
15:26the ground that I don't see.
15:28Outside of those two things, no, not really.
15:31I mean, there is the dark and snakes and spiders.
15:33A few little things.
15:35You know, I hate that you went with the Lieutenant Dan joke because I tried to dress up as somebody
15:38with legs today.
15:39That's why I wear my pants.
15:41You know, it's a funny thing.
15:42I almost met Kevin one time.
15:44They told me I was going on Shark Tank and I didn't listen.
15:46It was I was going in Shark Tank.
15:48And here we are, you know, just a couple of years later.
15:52There you go.
15:53Best one I got, man.
15:54That's good.
15:55Soak it in.
15:56What do you make of this strategy?
16:03Is it going to pay off?
16:05People always buy into fear.
16:08Yeah, you know, I mean, I'm trying to think of a good example of when everyone just did
16:12what we told them to because of fear.
16:14Climate change.
16:15Climate change.
16:16Maybe COVID.
16:17We recycle.
16:18Maybe COVID.
16:19COVID, yes.
16:20I mean, you know, six feet, mask and all kind of other dumb .
16:22I mean, I really wanted you to ask me about Kamala because I wanted to say, like, Trump
16:26should definitely dress up as the big hammer, right?
16:29Like, like, that would, could you imagine what the White House social media team can do
16:35with that?
16:36Yes, yes.
16:37I mean, that was my, what, MSN chat, you know, screen name back in the day, but that's
16:41all I got to ask.
16:42She's got, she's getting tired.
16:44She's even getting tired of herself.
16:46You know, they probably don't let her drink during these things anymore.
16:49Start swearing.
16:50I know what it's like when I'm, you know, when I'd have to do book signings and they
16:54wouldn't let me drink.
16:55I'd start swearing a lot.
16:56Kat.
16:57Kat.
16:58You guys all think he's kidding.
17:00Is there anything you were afraid of politically?
17:05Well, it's such a huge part of the political game is motivating people to be afraid, right?
17:11Right.
17:12And so I usually like to ask myself, okay, who's trying to make me afraid and why?
17:16Mm-hmm.
17:17And what do they gain if they succeed in making me afraid?
17:20Mm-hmm.
17:21And a lot of times it's a vote.
17:22A lot of times it's supporting something that is going to be diminishing your own rights.
17:26It's, it's a tool that they use over and over and over again.
17:29Mm-hmm.
17:30So it's, it's good to be wise to it because I think that, you know, people respond very
17:35well to fear, but you should get to know the unknown and then you'll find it less scary.
17:39Mm-hmm.
17:40You know what I mean?
17:41I will say though also, when Kamala said, are you kidding me?
17:45That's the most likable she's ever been to me.
17:47Yeah.
17:48I think.
17:49When she said, because, because I felt like I was seeing the real her.
17:53Yeah.
17:54I feel, it's just like, I, nobody, doesn't she have like a super high turnover rate in
17:57her stat?
17:58Mm-hmm.
17:59I don't believe that you are a happy, like you act, like you're really behaving like
18:03you're on laughing gas all the time.
18:05I don't believe that.
18:06That.
18:07That was her.
18:08Yeah, that was her.
18:09Are you kidding me?
18:10That's her at the, you know, at the, uh, car rental counter.
18:14Yes.
18:15Finding out that there are only convertible Sebring.
18:17Yeah.
18:18It's always a convertible Sebring.
18:21You can't, you open them up, you can't close them.
18:24That's the way it works.
18:26Up next, Kamala's nonsense.
18:28In five words.
18:38Kamala shocked Stewart with lies.
18:42Madison, this week Kamala Harris told Jon Stewart Biden was fully competent to serve another
18:47term.
18:48Watch how he responds.
18:49I believe he was fully competent to serve.
18:52Do you really?
18:53Yeah, I do.
18:55That, that surprises me, actually.
18:57No, I do.
18:58I, but he, but there's a distinction to be made between running for president and being
19:03president.
19:04What's the distinction?
19:05Well, being a candidate for president United States is about being in a marathon at a sprinter's
19:13pace, having tomatoes thrown at you every step you take.
19:17That sounds lovely.
19:18Yeah.
19:19What?
19:20It's more than a notion.
19:21And to be the seated president, the sitting president, while doing that, it's a lot.
19:26It's a lot.
19:27It's a lot.
19:28Kat, you're about to explode.
19:30Yeah, sure.
19:31Maybe it's a lot, but like, almost all of them have done it just fine.
19:36Yeah.
19:37That would have been a good place for an are you kidding me?
19:39Yeah.
19:40That, that would have been, like, why is she still doing this?
19:44What, why, why is she still doing this?
19:47Like, for her to, I don't believe it.
19:49I don't believe that she actually believes that he was okay.
19:52I don't believe she's that stupid, and that's not like a huge compliment to her.
19:56It's just that I don't think, I don't think anyone is that stupid.
20:00Yeah.
20:01Like, it's, it's, just watch, watch any clip of the, of the guy.
20:04Yeah.
20:05Like, just look at it, like, and you were hanging out with him when the cameras weren't on.
20:09I cannot imagine what that was like.
20:11Yes.
20:12Especially when he kept asking her, like, you know, for more, uh, you know, more drugs,
20:17because he thought she was the nerds.
20:19I just, I just, but what, like, why is she still doing it?
20:21I, this is a good question.
20:23It's a good, Madison, why do you think she's still doing it?
20:26I mean, I think if you've drank the Kool-Aid so much, you have to, you have to keep believing the narrative.
20:33And it's almost like she's drank it so much that she's forgotten that she's written this book
20:37where she's come out and said, he totally screwed my odds of winning for president.
20:41And the distinction that she makes, I like, Jon Stewart gave her a chance.
20:45He was like, really?
20:46Do you want, you, you said that he's fine, and she, like, doubles down.
20:50And then her clarification is, well, he was fit to run, but not to lead.
20:55And then she describes that running is more difficult because he was both president and running.
20:59Yes.
21:00It doesn't make sense at all.
21:04At all.
21:05And I think it's, it's gotta be that on the left, they, Democrats are struggling.
21:10They don't have a leader.
21:11So the last leader they had was Biden.
21:13So maybe she is just holding on to that to say, I can't do bad by my old boss, despite where he let me and in my book.
21:20It's, it's a difficult balance, and I don't think she's striking it.
21:23Jon Stewart should have been like, let's call him up right now and see how he's doing.
21:25Yes.
21:26By the way.
21:27That's not an option.
21:28I don't know why she's being so nice to him.
21:31She did call him a racist in a debate.
21:33I mean, now she's all of a sudden showing him respect.
21:36Joey, isn't, isn't, um, uh, Jon Stewart a couple of years too late on this incredulousness, on this surprise?
21:43Yeah, they all, they all, you know, it's like, oh, it's safe to come out now.
21:47Yes.
21:48That's what it is.
21:49They're all, they, you either, we were talking about this before the show started.
21:50You either get on board or you're gone.
21:52Like there's no credibility left.
21:53There's no, there's no demographic there.
21:56Jon Stewart can't be funny enough and he is witty and he is funny.
21:59He can't be funny enough to overcome that fact.
22:01And the same thing for Bill Maher and the rest of them.
22:04I mean, Stephen A. Smith, you know, we have to cover him way more than I would like to, uh,
22:08because he gets on and says these salacious things that are salacious to people telling the Democrat line.
22:13But, you know, they're saying things that get them likes and views, not things that are better for the country.
22:18It just happens to be it's better for the country that we acknowledge that Joe Biden was a walking course.
22:22I mean, she says, basically what she said was he, he, he would, he would be okay if he just got to stay president,
22:28but running for president, that was too much for it.
22:30Yeah.
22:31And it's like politicians are like to the very least they're good .
22:35They may not be good decision makers, but to the very least they're good .
22:38And what she's saying is he lost that ability too.
22:40Yeah.
22:41You know, Kevin, you have to admit Joe Biden would have been a great president for Halloween.
22:52I would like to know who Kamala's book publisher is because they're very pissed off after that.
22:57Yeah.
22:58She's not pumping her book anymore.
23:00Everything she's saying is completely inconsistent with those chapters.
23:04Yeah.
23:05I don't get it.
23:06Yeah.
23:07Maybe she's like being respectful to her boss.
23:10Like she doesn't want to.
23:11No, I think all bets are off now.
23:12Neither of them are ever going to be president ever again.
23:14Yeah.
23:15Or vice president for that matter.
23:16And I think you, what you want to worry about at this point in your life is legacy.
23:20You're painting your legacy by these interviews.
23:22They stay in the ethosphere forever.
23:24I mean, you know, it's going to be up on the cloud this interview.
23:26Would historians look at it if they ever go back and look at it and say, what'd she say afterwards?
23:31She's been really inconsistent.
23:32I think the thing to focus on is, wow, did we get our asses kicked?
23:37Why?
23:38Yeah.
23:39Like that would have been good.
23:40That would have been good to explain to the next generation of what not to do in an election.
23:46Yeah.
23:47Useful information.
23:48You know, it just made me think what it would have been like if there were a podcast in the internet back like in the Lincoln era or Washington and see them on.
23:56Well, Lincoln wouldn't have worked out.
23:57But like other presidents, I'll just stop.
24:01Up next, the imposter ex-mayor.
24:09Five more words.
24:11Fake de Blasio causes real embarrassment.
24:20Madison.
24:21So the Times of New London published an interview with former New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio criticizing Zoran Mamdami's policies.
24:30But it turned out the reporter mistakenly emailed a Long Island wine importer named Bill de Blasio.
24:41And I love this man because he played along, this fake de Blasio, responding with chat GPT written criticisms of Zoran's tax plans.
24:52And the newspaper ran with it.
24:54You are a reporter, an accomplished reporter.
24:57What were they thinking?
25:00Why did they verify the source?
25:02I don't know.
25:03And also, you would think that you would know, recognize the voice.
25:07Yes, they both have accents.
25:09But and then there's got to be like this random reporter in London's like, yeah, I got the former mayor on the phone like that from an email.
25:17It's just really sloppy journalism.
25:19And like you said, the guy, the wine importer, he says, look, he never called me mayor or referred to me.
25:26He just kept calling me Bill.
25:27So that's my name.
25:28I responded like he was aware of what was going on.
25:32I like the idea better that it was intentional wine importer.
25:36Bill de Blasio was trying to call everyone.
25:38And finally, all the way in London, he was like, this is how I influence the election.
25:42I get this one.
25:43No, but it was just lazy journalism.
25:44Really disappointing.
25:46Kevin, the real.
25:48I think they're both the same guy, actually.
25:49Yeah.
25:50Yes.
25:51That's that's the big surprise.
25:53All the time he was running New York, he was drinking the wine.
25:56Yeah.
25:57Do you think New York's.
25:58Now, he has endorsed Mondavi.
26:00Uh, uh, are we screwed as New Yorkers?
26:04Yep.
26:05Pretty well.
26:06Pretty well.
26:07That's good.
26:08You know, the amazing thing is you got to hand it to him.
26:10Mondavi did a fantastic job of understanding social media.
26:13And to be honest, and to be fair, for 60 years, if you're running for mayor in New York,
26:18every one of them, red and blue, doesn't matter what side of the alley you're on, you always
26:22say, money for nothing, chicks for free, everything you want, you got.
26:26You want free food, you got it.
26:27You want a bus for free.
26:28Sure, you want free rent.
26:29Got it.
26:30Got it.
26:31Got it.
26:32Got it.
26:33Oh, that legislature up north.
26:36Oh, gee, they don't let me do any of this stuff.
26:38Don't worry about it.
26:39I'll figure it out in the next four years.
26:40That's exactly what's going to happen.
26:42Meanwhile, back at the farm, and this is the area I focus on with Mondavi, I wanted
26:46to meet with him, so do a lot of other investors in real estate, to ask him one simple question.
26:50If we can't make any money in building a low rent building, if we're not allowed to make
26:56any money because you won't let us raise rents against inflation, why would we put any money
27:02into it, why would we do that?
27:04Why don't we go somewhere else and do it?
27:06Mm-hmm.
27:07But he's not worried about that.
27:08No, he's not.
27:09He's just going to get in and just figure it out from there, and he's not going to figure
27:13it out.
27:14Well, the great thing about the Constitution is you don't have to invest here.
27:17You can go five miles somewhere else and do it and have a much better policy.
27:21I like the fact that, you know, states compete, and think about New York.
27:25It's its own country from an investor's point of view.
27:27This place is the capital of capital, and they just hired one strange dude.
27:32Yeah.
27:33Well, it's not over yet.
27:35Joe, you don't care.
27:38Because you don't live here, and I hate you for that.
27:41No.
27:42No, there's not enough money in this building or your buildings or anybody's buildings for
27:46me to live in New York.
27:47I was poor and happy for 18 years, and I'll do it again before I'll live here.
27:50I mean, I'm telling you, we were talking in the green room about eating saltine crackers
27:55with sour cream.
27:56Like, that's a treat where I come from.
27:57Yes.
27:58I don't need a lot.
27:59I mean, you know, like, I just love that a guy dressed as a vampire just said, he's
28:04one weird dude, and nobody thought, like, that's how weird this other guy is.
28:10You know, it's like, I don't know.
28:12I feel like if you're Mom Donnie, you really don't want a de Blasio endorsement to begin with.
28:16Yeah.
28:17So maybe your theory is working.
28:18I mean, I guess this guy did a counter-interview through his ring doorbell.
28:21Yeah.
28:22Through his ring doorbell.
28:23Uh, uh, from Florida.
28:26Yeah.
28:27So it's like, this story gets worse and worse.
28:29Like, did they even know that the guy on the ring doorbell is the real de Blasio?
28:33Yeah.
28:34Like, maybe there isn't a real Bill de Blasio.
28:35Like, maybe this journalist got fired from CNN and that's why they're doing this.
28:39You know, like, I don't know.
28:40I just, I'll tell you one thing.
28:41I don't ever call myself a journalist, because this is some dumb shit I would do.
28:44Like, oh, this is definitely the guy.
28:46Oh, yeah.
28:47Let's talk, man.
28:48You want to meet for some beer?
28:49Yeah.
28:50Yeah.
28:51You are a journalist.
28:52You did a lot of writing and reporting.
28:53Mm-hmm.
28:54Um, what, I, I, is this a forgivable?
28:55Forgivable.
28:56Forgivable.
28:57Forgivable.
28:58It's crazy, but I do kind of feel bad for the, for the journalist.
29:01Even though, like, this is obviously wrong and bad.
29:04But, like, maybe they were all excited.
29:06Like, hey, I got Bill de Blasio.
29:08Like, I hope they didn't, like, go out to dinner.
29:12You know what I mean?
29:13They're probably like, hey, babe, guess I had a great day at work today.
29:15And now everyone's probably so mad at them.
29:18Yeah.
29:19If they still even have a job.
29:20Yeah.
29:21Yeah.
29:22But I don't know how, I really don't, kind of don't know how you make that mistake.
29:24Because, you know, you, you know what it is?
29:26You have too much confidence in yourself.
29:27Yeah.
29:28That's how you make that mistake.
29:29You're like, why couldn't I just cold email the, you know, de Blasio and you'd get back
29:32to me?
29:33If you hate yourself a little, that could be really good for you.
29:35What do you think his email was?
29:36Yeah.
29:37Was it, like, bill.deblasio11978?
29:39Yeah.
29:40I don't, I don't know.
29:41It's like, just like a thousand other Bill de Blasios.
29:44What a douche.
29:45All right.
29:46Coming up, DEI for birds.
29:51No way, hey, hey, it's video of the day.
30:06Should DEI apply to things that fly?
30:11Senator John Candy speak, Candy?
30:13What is with Kennedy?
30:16I'm having a stroke.
30:19Senator John Kennedy is speaking out against the Biden era plan to protect declining spotted
30:26owls from killing about 453,000 barred owls.
30:31Watch.
30:32The Department of Interior is mad at the barred owl because the barred owl is a better hunter.
30:39The barred owl is just a better hunter.
30:41That's just the way it is.
30:43You know?
30:44So the Department of Interior, in its infinite wisdom, has come up with DEI for owls.
30:53They come up with quotas for owls.
30:56The barred owl, because nature, God, whatever you believe in, made them better hunters, now
31:03has to give up its rights, has to give up its life.
31:08Because the spotted owl is not as good of a hunter.
31:18Of course, when they told Joe Biden about this anti-owl policy, he replied,
31:23Yeah, it was that bad of a joke, I put it on you.
31:30I wasn't going to do it.
31:33Joey, you are the hunter here.
31:36It feels like this is like they're trying to put off natural selection.
31:42Do you want a smart answer or like a redneck answer?
31:46I got both, just so you know.
31:48Give me both.
31:49Okay, so the smart answer is Kennedy's wrong.
31:51So the barred owl is a bigger animal.
31:54It's a wider range of things.
31:56It's not like it's hunting the same things and it's better at it.
31:59It's hunting other things that the spotted owl doesn't hunt.
32:02So you're introducing a predator into an area that's going to take out animals that serve other purposes.
32:07Everything is a delicate balance, and we are the ultimate thing that screws it all up.
32:11Like if you look at Colorado and all the idiot hippies that brought wolves back in, and what are they doing?
32:17They're not going after the animals they hunted hundreds of years ago.
32:20They're going after the cattle that people are raising because they're an easier prey.
32:23So it's turning everything upside down.
32:25It's the same thing when you bring a predator in.
32:27Owls are tremendous predators.
32:29On the bird food chain, like bald eagles are eating the scraps of what owls are doing.
32:34Now what's the redneck answer?
32:35The redneck answer is they want to kill almost 500,000 of them?
32:38Give me a hunting license.
32:39Like, let's do it, man.
32:40I'll go out and kill as many.
32:41I don't know what owl tastes like, but I'm willing to find out.
32:45Pat, he obviously supports owl genocide.
32:49Do you?
32:50Okay.
32:51I'm sorry.
32:52Um, isn't the government supposed to be shut down?
32:56It is, right?
32:57Yeah.
32:58It's still shut down.
32:59Okay.
33:00Because I thought that I was having a stroke for a second.
33:06But this is what's happening right now?
33:09Like, they're sitting around debating owls?
33:13They're debating.
33:14I don't think he started this.
33:15Yeah.
33:16Like, but they have all the time in the world for owl business.
33:21But he's so entertaining.
33:22Sure.
33:23He's also, they're all getting paid.
33:26Yeah.
33:27They're all still getting paid arguing about owls.
33:31I don't claim to speak for all Americans.
33:33Mm-hmm.
33:34However, for me, not my biggest concern right now.
33:37Yeah.
33:38Yeah.
33:39Well, you know what?
33:40Kevin, is there a private sector opportunity for killing all these owls?
33:49Well, let me disclose some facts.
33:51This policy is from the vampire lobby.
33:53Yes.
33:54Let me explain why.
33:56What do you think they love to chow down in Central Park?
33:58Chihuahuas.
33:59Yes.
34:00I don't want them eating my food.
34:02And so, these owls are gonna be gone.
34:04That's good for me.
34:05More chihuahuas for the vampire community.
34:06I'm all for it.
34:07Let's nuke them all.
34:08Let's go.
34:09Wow.
34:10Full circle.
34:11Madison, uh, this, this strategy is gonna cost 1.35 billion dollars to kill a half a
34:20million.
34:21I'm sorry, but that, I'm sorry.
34:22That is what's wrong.
34:23I would pay to kill those owls.
34:25I would buy a license to go kill those owls and hunt them.
34:29Madison, let me take it from an unemotional point.
34:36They're so cute.
34:37Little owls are cute.
34:38They can turn their little heads around.
34:40They're, they're great on clocks.
34:42I agree.
34:43They're super cute.
34:44Yeah.
34:45It's also contrary to popular belief about owls because they're often thought to be a
34:49symbol of wisdom.
34:50They're actually really dumb.
34:52Owls are really dumb animals.
34:54So, the spotted owl is just struggling a little bit right now, but he'll figure it out.
34:58And if he can't, that's evolution.
35:00I feel like nature heals, nature figures it out.
35:03When we get in the mix, we tend to screw things up.
35:06And when government gets in the mix, there's definitely unintended consequences.
35:10So, I feel like let the owls be owls, Kevin will find other food, and we don't have to
35:14spend that money.
35:15Yes.
35:16Well said.
35:17Let the dumb animals die.
35:20That's from Madison.
35:21Up next, fewer males.
35:27The FBI calls it house stealing, the latest scam or a site.
35:36No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
35:43You don't forget, we're lost in the sky
35:48That's what you have to do, my life
35:52But don't forget, until the sky stays with my days
35:57Until there's still strength in the sky
36:02The walls fall down in the last February
36:07You're watching Mailing It In.
36:29A question for this evening from Cheap Chick.
36:32What was your favorite Halloween costume and candy as a kid, Kevin?
36:39Oh, my goodness.
36:41You know, this is not a costume.
36:43This is actually what I wear.
36:45Yeah.
36:46And I just like blood.
36:48That's it.
36:49You grew up in Canada?
36:51I started there, then I went to Champaign-Urbana, Illinois,
36:54as you don't even know where that is.
36:56Then Cambodia, Tunisia, Ethiopia, Cyprus.
36:59My dad worked for the United Nations every two years.
37:01I thought everybody lived that way.
37:02Yeah.
37:03And one of these places, I got bitten, and look what happened.
37:06So you probably didn't do much Halloween, then.
37:09Listen, I was the Halloween.
37:11All right.
37:12I'm not getting a straight answer from him.
37:14Madison, we're different generations, so I don't know.
37:17What was your Halloween candy and costume?
37:21My favorite candy was Nerds, which I still love.
37:24The gummy clusters are so good.
37:25Mm-hmm.
37:26And my favorite costume, I'm Indian.
37:28My mom is 100% Indian, so I'm only half.
37:31And I loved our Indian outfits, so I would dress up as an Indian princess.
37:35So I don't know if that's cultural appropriation, if it's my own culture.
37:39But for, like, seven years in a row, I just was me, but in a...
37:44Sorry.
37:45You know who also did that?
37:46Liz Warren.
37:48Different Indians.
37:49Different Indians.
37:50Different Indians.
37:52Joey, what were you, and what was your...
37:55I was one 16th Indian, but I lost that part.
37:58My favorite costume, so my mom was one of those, what you call a holy roller, she didn't allow me to dress up.
38:08Really?
38:09But my dad liked to just drive around in the evenings anyway, so he kept a werewolf mask in the toolbox of his truck.
38:14So I've been a farmer werewolf, I've been an internal werewolf.
38:18She caught on one year to what we were doing and made me dress up as a shepherd boy, so I was a shepherd boy werewolf.
38:24My favorite candy, we go to this grocery store and it was just a little hole-in-the-wall store around this dude named James Jones,
38:30and he would give me a Coke in a bottle and some peanuts, and that was my favorite Halloween treat,
38:35until I was old enough to know that there was candy out there.
38:39Wow.
38:40That's a sad story.
38:42That's a great story.
38:43That is a...no, that's a sad story.
38:46How dare you applaud?
38:48What about you, Kat?
38:49Your mom was very religious.
38:51Did you celebrate Halloween?
38:52Yeah, Halloween was okay.
38:53Yeah.
38:54I guess my favorite was when I was Pippi Longstocking, so we did the little pipe cleaners in my hair, so my little braids stuck out, and I was adorable.
39:02Yeah.
39:03And then, I don't know, candy, I used to love to eat anything with peanut butter in it, because my brother was deathly allergic to it.
39:10So it was a little more of a thrill.
39:13What was that stuff that was, like, white taffy, but had peanut butter in it?
39:17No, but, like, Reese's Butterfinger, like, I'd have to, like, wash my hands, and I'd have to, like, eat it, like, in a steep area, and, like, make sure, like...
39:23Because it felt like I was doing something real bad, you know what I mean?
39:26Yeah.
39:27And that made it more exciting, as we all know.
39:29Yes.
39:30I liked, I liked, uh, you know, charms, suckers.
39:33Yep.
39:34I liked Necco wafers.
39:36Nobody liked them.
39:37Yeah.
39:38Are you a serial killer?
39:39Yeah, Necco wafers were great.
39:41You're not being serious.
39:42I'm kidding.
39:43Yeah.
39:44No, I was, uh, I was a Heath Barr guy.
39:46But you know what's sad?
39:47My favorite costume was a hobo.
39:49Oh.
39:50You know?
39:51When you were a kid, it was so you, you put pillows in your, like, get, my sisters would dress me, and you put, like, the black, uh, stuff like ash on your face and get a fake cigar and you'd be a hobo.
40:01You can't do that now.
40:02Hobo with a shotgun.
40:04Yeah, it's a great movie.
40:05It was great.
40:06But, you know, here's the thing, you can't go as the, you can't go as today's homeless person.
40:12You just go to the party yourself?
40:15Yeah, you'd have to, like, you'd have to bend over.
40:19You'd have to drool.
40:21It's like, our homeless, when we were kids, our, our hobos were great.
40:26Now they're, now they're not.
40:28They are dangerous.
40:39Who's ready to break down math? Scientific notation is a way to show...
40:43What is that?
40:44I'm just going to make sure that I started posting math lessons...
40:46...
40:47...
40:49...
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