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Greg Gutfeld Show 9_29_25 FULL END SHOW _ ᗷᖇEᗩKIᑎG ᑎEᗯS Tᖇᑌᗰᑭ September 29, 2025
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00:00happy monday everyone i am tom shillou in for greg gutfeld let's do some headlines eric
00:15adams has dropped out of the race for mayor of new york city andrew cuomo was so excited
00:21about the news he spent the afternoon sexually harassing himself according to sources the u.s.
00:30is preparing options for military strikes on drug targets inside venezuela this of course
00:36despite fierce protests from one democrat
00:39over the weekend charlie sheen's ex-girlfriend stood by charlie's claim that bill clinton hit on
00:49her in the 80s bill denies this and said he only hits on girls in their 20s
00:54over the weekend president trump announced he's sending troops to portland oregon
01:01to protect ice facilities under attack by antifa they've already begun dispersing the crowds by
01:07holding up job applications
01:09jd vance told gavin newsom to go straight to hell
01:18in newsom's defense he already lives in california
01:22over the weekend one million dollars worth of rare whiskey was stolen from a washington distillery
01:34police are on the hunt for one main suspect
01:37like the sash there speaking of kamala harris
01:44uh she claims she had a friend at fox news who was leaking her information on election night
01:51wow even she gets her information from fox news
01:55right and royal caribbean is canceling scheduled visits to haiti due to kidnapping crime terrorist
02:04activity and civil unrest but travel experts say if you're looking for all that just book a cruise
02:10on carnival
02:15now to my searing monologue we used to have a left right and center in this country conservatives and
02:21liberals each with a strong base and a healthy group of voters that could swing either way like a
02:27seesaw with jb pritzker and a hippo but nowadays how could anyone be a swing voter when the choice
02:34between the two sides couldn't be any clearer let's take a look at portland preferably from
02:39a distance because of the smell on one side we have trump who's sending troops to the
02:44quote war ravaged blue city to protect ice from antifa attacks and after what happened
02:50last week in dallas he's taking no chances but the other side they're trying to stop him
02:56oregon sued trump for his decision claiming it's incompatible with liberty and democracy
03:01and oregon democrat senator ron wyden posted a video of peaceful portlanders going about their
03:07day essentially saying look we don't have any crime here right because gangbangers and domestic
03:14terrorists love posing for the camera then there's chicago after cleaning up dc trump's cracking down
03:22on crime in the windy city they call it the windy city from the bullets whizzing past your ears
03:27but for the dems preventing violence is fascist and lawlessness is rewarded the chicago teachers
03:35union mourned the death of convicted cop killer assada shakur in an ex post with this caption rest in
03:42power well it's a good thing their students can't read in new york the story is the same as trump arrests
03:52violent illegals communism's new hope zoran mamdani is pledging 100 million dollars to give migrants
03:59facing deportation free lawyers talk about radical even aoc is like take it down a notch comrade
04:11that's on top of the 54 million new york city already billed to fight trump's immigration agenda
04:17all coming out of the taxpayers pocket but here's the thing this wasn't always the democrats brand
04:23before they screamed nazi denied violent crime and allowed men and women's locker rooms they used to
04:29sound like this we are a nation of immigrants but we are also a nation of laws it is wrong and ultimately
04:38self-defeating for a nation of immigrants to permit the kind of abuse of our immigration laws we have seen
04:44in recent years and we must do more to stop it people who enter the united states without our
04:51permission are illegal aliens and illegal aliens should not be treated the same as people who
04:56entered the u.s legally as to illegal aliens we agree with you that um we do not think the
05:03comprehensive health care benefits should be extended to those who are undocumented workers and
05:08illegal aliens get them their mega hats
05:20didn't they sound like trump supporters but somewhere along the way they sprinted to the extreme left
05:25bending the knee to their radical ideology but despite what the left says about trump he never moved
05:31far right he moved toward you the people secure borders no inflation safe streets things we all once
05:39agreed upon suddenly became evil they branded him authoritarian smeared his base and tried to throw him in jail
05:46to hide the truth that the maga movement is the new center maga has one guiding principle common sense
05:54so swing voters used to have a tough choice but now it's never been this obvious it's like choosing between
06:00sydney sweeney or julia sweeney
06:07seems like an easy choice to me
06:12let's welcome tonight's guest his act inspires people to take up jogging usually after the first joke
06:20comedian joe mackey
06:24she's as tough as nails even when she's off the rails fox news anchor julie banderas
06:30his head was the inspiration for the jellybean comedian jim norton
06:37and she's too embarrassed to tell her son she works for greg new york times best-selling author
06:46and fox news contributor catch him
06:48all right all right joe mackey i could you swing either way at any time you know what i'm saying is
06:59did you he's asking if you have sex with men no no i'm saying i mean was there a time in your career
07:09you know showbiz people are very far left do you remember we used to have a vibrant center in this country
07:13we used to the only uh way i could just swing both ways now is when i'm playing softball so
07:18do whatever you want with that one
07:22but it hasn't still it's not really left versus right anymore it's academia uh versus reality in a
07:28sense because only people with college advanced degrees could possibly think that letting someone
07:34out of jail for 12 violent felonies would would make things better as if they're going to say oh that
07:41was so nice that they keep letting me out i'm not going to stab this person in the abdomen anymore
07:46it just it just doesn't work like that and what what happened on the left is that uh if you disagree
07:52with them they kick you out so the left keep moving further and further left so what used to be the
07:58liberal position now seems right wing so you ask someone how many genders there are and they're like
08:0564 they're like no 64 was last year you're out and you're out it's made people so crazy and isolated
08:14and lonely that uh reality's become completely inverted take take new york city for it for instance uh
08:20mom dami's plan is to spend 100 million dollars to bring in lawyers to make things better he's trying
08:27to bring in lawyers to make things better and he's winning it's so true uh julie we do have a lot of
08:38people in this country who call themselves swing voters they call themselves the independents are always
08:43growing in size but trump has done a lot with the mega movement to kind of neutralize that bringing in
08:49people like rfk uh tulsi gabbard right i want to get back to his softball metaphor yeah like so you
08:56swing both ways like ball or bat i well you bet from both i'm just i i don't like to not understand
09:04things so i wanted to get to the bottom yeah you swing yeah i'm assuming the bat right you swing the
09:08bat switch hitter if the okay so he swings both ways that's fine but but but ultimately he's going
09:16to pick one or the other that's the whole point and i guess you're going female female yes you don't
09:21identify okay fine so let me get back to your question um so swinging both ways is something
09:27that typically you are going to find some sort of side either left or right and right now i think
09:31independent the middle doesn't really make any sense because the the left is so off whack that if you're
09:36going to actually support somebody like zoran mamdani who wants to spend a hundred million dollars
09:40in new york taxpayers money on lawyers i can i can speak from from experience lawyers are expensive
09:47they cost a lot of money especially you know when you pay them for years on end this is going to
09:52take forever they're talking about 400 000 new york city residents who they're going to spend uh this
09:58money on for legal free legal i want free legal i'm going to deport myself and come back and get a free
10:06it might work uh okay jim you've been here in new york you remember what happened it seemed ungovernable
10:12at one time and then they did the unthinkable they elected a republican for mayor giuliani and he along
10:19with the police they changed the attitude in new york but now we're going back completely the other
10:23way do new yorkers not remember where we were well i mean i guess we do and i you're saying giuliani
10:30closed all the great places i used to go to meet friends it was like a social club you'd watch a movie
10:39together you'd talk through the hole in the wall shake hands but yeah it's look i i look at swing
10:50stuff like as far as like i i think any state that isn't a swing state is stupid like i believe that
10:57whether it's new york whether it's texas whether it's louisiana or california any state that always
11:02is predictable in how they vote is stupid because it means that nobody has to earn your vote uh like i
11:09think the swing states are the only ones with any balls in our country whatsoever they're the only
11:12anybody who's not decided until you prove yourself worthy is a thinking person uh because the whole
11:18country is like a couple going through a contentious divorce like it the facts don't mean anything they
11:24only mean something according to how they affect my line of thinking like if someone is in trouble for
11:29saying something if i agree with them they're being punished for free speech but if i don't agree with
11:34them uh well that's consequences so does you understand there's no like ultimate moral right
11:38and wrong it's just people kind of agreeing or disagreeing according to their belief system
11:42so i think if you're not a swing voter uh you're stupid this is amazing you know jim he kind of acted
11:47like he was agreeing with me but i think he was saying the opposite of what i'm saying cat i like the red
11:54states i like them as red as i can get them that's what i would say well i what do you think cap because
12:03you're someone who's often you know come from a background of third party yeah but i think that with
12:08tulsi gabbard with rfk jr uh trump has he he has kind of he's he's pushed aside that third party thinking
12:17and he's he's embraced such a large swath of what used to be the swing voter because i think he is
12:23taking centrist policies what do you think of that my central thesis of my monologue well i'm i am
12:28independent i'm a registered independent yes uh i i think that you know but when it comes to the
12:34topics that you brought up in your monologue i do agree that crime is bad um i do agree that violent
12:40criminals should be in jail uh unfortunately i do think mom donnie is going to win and i and i i i'm
12:46scared for what it's going to do to new york i do what you disagree you think sliwa's got this come
12:50on i mean i wouldn't mind i'm willing to hit the trail with curtis sliwa i want to put on my beret
12:56and go stop crime on the subway all right well but you might have to exactly by yourself it's going to
13:04be me and curtis out there but the uh why is it why the backsliding i mean people young people even
13:13they remember when the city was governable and i i listen you gotta i saw a lady taking a dump on
13:18the street on friday and it was still light outside okay so it's a i i get it but i i think
13:24you know also i think that there's just people some people you will talk to them and they'll say the
13:30exact opposite they'll be like i don't know how you possibly could support trump or i don't know you
13:34could support anybody but trump and it can feel like we're living in two different countries but there are
13:39some people who are independent still but they don't go viral as often because it's it's not as
13:45interesting but at this point because of what's happening now trump has defined it in such a way
13:51that you have democrats now are coming out they're pro-crime they don't want to support the border so
13:56well i will say i think mackey what mackey said has a lot to do with it whereas i will get criticism
14:01from people on the right wing often for not being right wing or this opinion isn't right wing enough
14:05but there are people on the left who won't even speak to me because i'm not left wing enough or
14:10because i work here so i feel like the right is at least all more willing to have a conversation by
14:14far than that's what the right that's their slogan we don't like you but we'll talk to you yeah
14:19up next an ice buzz you'll never believe
14:22a man in charge of the schools took the community for fools ice arrested andre roberts
14:38for being an illegal alien from guyana and get this he's been the superintendent of iowa's largest
14:43school district since 2023 and that despite the fact that he had received a deportation order from
14:49an immigration judge in 2024 had no work authorization and had a prior weapons charge
14:56for 2020 when they hired him after fleeing his car roberts was arrested holding three grand in cash
15:03and a fixed blade knife and a loaded handgun was found in his vehicle add a bottle of baby oil and
15:11a mustache and that's just like greg's go bag anyway roberts has since been placed on unpaid leave and
15:21his superintendent's license has been revoked meanwhile this weekend in massachusetts an anti-ice
15:27protester got out of her car to yell at ice agents and forgot to put her car in park
15:33look what happened look at this lucy their car got lost hey it's massachusetts i bet they're just
15:50relieved there wasn't a kennedy involved
15:52julie uh is this woman this ice protester not putting her car in park isn't that the perfect
16:04it really is metaphor the perfect karma no it's perfect karma and i do believe in karma i'm waiting
16:09for mine someday but i do believe in karma and like positive karma i should add but uh this is perfect i
16:15mean this is amazing and she's probably going to accuse somebody else of being you know responsible for
16:20her car being driven into a lake because of course these idiots don't ever take responsibility for
16:24their own actions and they love to blame everyone so that's just how our country is why didn't they
16:29stop her from these are officers they should have helped her out before the car went into the water
16:34right yeah maybe she should stop screaming at ice and this is a perfect example of what this country
16:38is all about is that they all they do is complain complain complain they don't even know what
16:42they're complaining about and then this is karma right there so good for her maybe she uh good i wish
16:49her good luck mackey it may be what they're learning in schools i mean what do you think of this iowa
16:58school board should they take the blame for hiring this guy as the superintendent crazy well sure they
17:03said they had a third party do the background check but i think the third party was a ditty party because
17:11i don't understand how anyone in iowa is defending this what are they thinking like
17:16what is this going to show the children that they can't be someone who fraudulently
17:20obtains work authorization and has a loaded gun can't be around children right now there's a 45 year
17:26old pedophile who snuck into the border illegally who's now saying i won't be able to run the boy scouts
17:35that's exactly cat what does this say about the vetting process you know these teachers they hired
17:41this guy they wanted to be so politically correct they were so proud they had this guy from guyana
17:45as their superintendent and they never even checked his background well i still think what he's doing
17:49now is extremely impressive uh he's he is what he's doing now i it's very difficult to do which he is
17:56getting liberals to argue in favor of gun rights
18:02you're right yeah yeah they're like they this was a uh you know they're on his side yeah and this is a
18:10guy who took his gun to school every second amendment for this guy
18:15only for this guy but he yeah but for him and his whole bio is it was like commitment to diversity
18:21or whatever which he does he is a big diversity there there is an underrepresentation of people
18:27with weapons charges and yeah in roles where you work closely with children yeah they check that box
18:36right yeah i mean i'm trying to look on the bright side of the success then
18:43jim uh which story did you like better the superintendent or the woman who let her car
18:48go into the water i mean if we can't come together as a country and enjoy watching a morbidly obese woman
18:56chase her vehicle into a lake i mean it's my favorite thing probably that i've ever seen
19:02was this wildebeest getting out of her car with her fat calves showing and uh i guarantee you that's
19:10how she approaches a food truck she probably doesn't even she doesn't even stop the car she just jumps
19:15out while it's still rolling and runs over and orders a giro uh so yeah i was very happy to see this and uh
19:23she deserved it and she's an annoying person and by the way that guy that they probably don't check
19:27certain things when it is a diversity higher or they feel like it's yeah they're afraid if they
19:32check certain things it will cancel out somebody that they think fills checks all the boxes that
19:36they've checked so they're probably purposefully they don't want a guy who's got drugs and gun
19:40charges but they don't want to know it's almost like i just don't want to know well yeah and it said
19:44julie what i saw the headline from the local newspaper they said uh the community is rallying around
19:50their superintendent what in the world like what are these parents smoking crack i mean honestly like yes we
19:56want our school superintendent to carry weapons into a school as if we don't already have a problem
20:01with guns in schools but it's it's okay for this guy to do it and i love kat's example because this
20:06is exactly what the left is not going to do is they're not going to come out on this guy and say
20:10that he had no right to carry that gun even though he illegally obtained the gun but you know second
20:15amendment all the way if you're an illegal immigrant but if you're an actual american citizen who gets a gun
20:20legally and actually conducts a background check and doesn't work at a job where you have a rap sheet
20:25then you're good yeah not okay he's going to have to go he's going to have to go right wing this
20:29guy try to get the nra to support him yeah he's got to find then he actually might have a shot
20:35up next trump's golden palace
20:46trump won't settle for decor without precious metal tonight and we don't deserve him the prez
21:01posted this video of the gold touches he's installed in the oval office
21:06he wrote quote some of the highest quality 24 karat gold used in the oval office and cabinet cabinet
21:13room of the white house foreign leaders and everyone else freak out when they see the quality
21:19and beauty best oval office ever in terms of success and look what a change from the biden
21:28over to oval office when the only concern was whose bag of coke is this
21:35jim uh between this the 24 karat gold and him renovating the uh the rose garden he's really
21:42classing up the joint isn't he i'm a little concerned though that people are going to misread
21:46this and think that the president likes to brag you think so
21:54you know and this is why trump is very funny like because this whole this whole thing is a response
21:59to people criticizing there was a criticism of one of the things hanging in the oval office
22:04where they said oh it looks it was from best buy like they were trying to match it
22:07to some like cheap store saying it wasn't real gold yeah and i think that he probably saw that
22:12and it annoyed him and he wanted to clarify uh no no this is indeed uh real gold but i can't i mean
22:19i can't say i'm psyched about it i mean i don't have i can't get health insurance through sag i'm not
22:23really thrilled that there's real gold in the oval office it's great news woof well julie i mean this
22:30is the kind of thing i think this is why so many people so many of the elites hate trump they don't
22:34like his taste they didn't like him from the very beginning they don't like trump tower they didn't
22:39like his casinos in atlantic city it's like it his his kind of braggadocio they don't like it right
22:46yeah but i love it because it's his money it's not like he's going in and dipping into taxpayers money
22:51like every other former democratic president has he's actually spending his own money i personally
22:55would have preferred white gold or platinum but i'm not going to criticize him because i know he likes
22:59yellow gold you know and i you know but i mean i think it's an interesting touch i don't i do i'm
23:04not a fan of this look i have to say like all the gold on the trump buildings i don't like it i think
23:09it's tacky you think it's tacky but you don't hold it against him this is the thing no it's his style
23:14i don't care if you want a gold you know toilet bowl to take a crap in go for it he has gold toilet
23:21bowls in his home yes yes and i think and he doesn't he have i mean don't we all we all would
23:26like to we all aspire that way i think that trump has there's a lot of people who if they had the
23:32money that trump had they would want this kind of stuff too am i right mackie i can't relate to that
23:37tom because uh when i invite a lover back to my home i yeah i want her focused on the gold that's inside
23:44that's right i see my personality you know uh also it's it's just uh you're just making more work
23:57for yourself you're just gonna have to search zelinski every time he leaves to make sure he's
24:01having to win exactly yeah you got to keep watch on this stuff uh in the white house uh cat this is
24:09what i love about trump you know he he loves he loves putting on a show he loves gold and
24:14you know people love him for it okay clark trump's attack on harvard is just the beginning trump and
24:23his allies don't just want to reshape our political system they want to corrupt and
24:28seize control of our institutions in 1941 president franklin roosevelt warned americans to be aware of
24:36that small group of selfish men who would clip the wings of american eagle in order to feather their own
24:42nests it was a warning that reflected what he saw playing out across the atlantic the fascists of
24:50europe disempowering their people and corrupting their national institutions in order to enrich and
24:55empower themselves nearly a century after the rise of hitler mussolini and franco donald trump is using
25:03their same tried and true tactics to corrupt america's institution and silent dissonance since returning to
25:11office he has claimed the right to evaluate university's viewpoint diversity demanding that private
25:17institutions subject students and faculty to government audits of their personal beliefs
25:25we can't treat this rising authoritarianism as a personal quirk or just another feature of our politics
25:32our republic the very idea that we should live in a democracy is facing a grave grave threat
25:38harvard's president has rightly refused making clear that the university will not surrender its independence or
25:46relinquish its constitutional rights that insistence on academic freedom has been met with swift government
25:55retaliation trump withheld congressionally approved research funding his administration openly threatened harvard
26:04student visas and he directed the irs to revoke harvard's tax exempt status these attacks will disrupt a major economic
26:14engine not just for massachusetts but for the entire country harvard is not an unrivalled leader in life-saving
26:22medical research our public investments in those breakthroughs have fueled america's innovation economy allowing us to lead
26:29the world in the world in the bringing academic research to the marketplace this retaliation will cost
26:35lives a world our competitive advantage and prompt a disastrous brain drain a self-inflicted injury on
26:42which our rivals are more than happy to capitalize on none of that matters to trump obviously it's collateral
26:51damage in his larger wall to centralize power enrich himself and cultivate his ideas as fact under law
26:58that's his first goal centralizing power is nothing new for trump he has long sought to expand his power
27:06and the expense of our political institutions attacking his legitimacy of our elections and politicizing our
27:12courts the second self enrichment oh sorry let's read you i moved my foot
27:17the second self enrichment has defiled his first 100 days in office whether he's hawking cars at the white
27:28house selling scammy crypto coins or openly manipulating the stock market he's enriching himself his family and his
27:35wealthy donors all this while the american people and small business face skyrocketing costs due to trump's
27:43tariffs but the third goal using government's authority to enforce his vision of the truth that's what
27:50these attacks on harvards are about that's what should scare any american who believes in the objective
27:56truth freedom of speech and the rule of law trump and his allies don't just want to reshape our political
28:03system they don't just want to pocket some cash and quality a day they want to corrupt and seize
28:08control of our institutions in order to dictate how americans learn what we think and how we think
28:16look at how trump has altered american society since january if universities want to remain
28:23tax exempt they need to serve in academic arms of the ruling political party if a news network wants to
28:31keep its broadcast license it needs to report stories in the way the government wants them reported
28:38if museums libraries and theaters want to stay open they need to toss out material that may offend the white
28:45house if law firms want to represent clients with businesses before the federal government they need
28:53to bribe the president if colleges want to avoid being disappeared to foreign prisoners they need to keep
29:02their political views to themselves these actions will not stop at the gates of the elite institutions your
29:09personal freedoms of speech and liberty of force are just as much as a threat to trump's power and he knows
29:16it we can't treat this rising authoritarianism as a personal quirk or just another feature of our
29:23politics our republic the very idea that we should live in a democracy is facing a grave grave threat
29:31for the vast majority of americans who believe our national identity is tied to the government of the
29:37people this moment must serve as a call of unprecedented action we
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