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Greg Gutfeld Show 11/1/25 FULL END SHOW | ᖴO᙭ ᗷᖇEᗩKIᑎG ᑎEᗯS November 1, 2025
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00:00Thank you. Thank you. Welcome. Welcome to this city that never sleeps except during Fox and
00:27Friends. Good evening, everyone. So during his tour of Asia, President Trump was given a massive gold
00:34crown by the South Korean president, which was a much more tasteful gift than what they gave
00:40Joe Biden. I mean, it's gold, but really? This year's Rockefeller Center Christmas tree is from
00:48a suburban Albany farm and weighs 11 tons, and it'll be transported to Manhattan on a flatbed
00:54truck lifted into place by an enormous crane, which is the exact same way some New Yorkers
01:00get to work. A long way. Yeah. Tuesday night, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle attended game
01:09four of the World Series. Harry caught a foul ball and gave it to his wife, which means
01:18now he's given her three balls. A new report found that most voters think Democrats over-prioritize
01:27issues like the rights of LGBTQ Americans and climate change. But to win them back,
01:33the party is offering voters a carbon neutral butt plug.
01:36It makes no sense, but I just like saying carbon neutral butt plug. So shut up. Microsoft said
01:46its AI bots will not offer sexually explicit chats. Disappointing a New Jersey man who just
01:52bought his first computer. A truck containing lab animals overturned in Missouri, freeing a monkey
02:02with COVID, hepatitis C, and herpes. Wow. Thank God I wore a condom.
02:12Generally. A pile of 1300 year old human feces was found in a Mexican cave, and it reveals eight
02:20pathogens that we still battle today. Scientists have traced the feces back to its original source.
02:27That's a gimme. So the Democratic Party is as popular as Miss Piggy at Ramadan,
02:37and a left-wing group is trying to discover why. The conclusion? Woke ideas have wrecked the brand.
02:44Great. What are you going to tell us next? That Bud Light drinkers prefer Sidney Sweeney over
02:49Dylan Mulvaney's weenie. Yet the group commissioned a 70-page playbook after polling hundreds of
03:00thousands of voters, and they found that 70 percent of Americans think the Democratic Party is out of
03:05touch. Meanwhile, the other 30 percent are temporarily out of crack. So why is this? Well,
03:12maybe it's because Democrats shoved woke crap down your throat like a drag queen demonstrating how he
03:17eats a cucumber. True. According to the report, Democrats over-prioritize issues like LGBTQ rights,
03:24climate change, race, and abortion. You know, all the things your college-age daughter loves to bring
03:29up to ruin Thanksgiving dinner. The report notes in the last dozen years mentions of environmental
03:36justice in party platforms rose 333 percent. Gay rights mentions rose 1,000 percent, while mentions of
03:45responsibility. Men and fathers shrank like someone's brain who watches the view. Meanwhile, the Dems
03:54abandon issues like crime, immigration, security, cost of living. Translation, Democrats want normal
04:00people with normal concerns to suck it, and it could mean anything. The report even admits that the Dems
04:07should nominate more candidates who would vote with Republicans on immigration and crime. Instead of
04:12writing cringey songs, they can warble at a No Kings rally. But wait, if you're voting with Republicans,
04:19doesn't that make you a Republican? Well, come on in. The water's fine. Unless Mitch McConnell had to pee.
04:27But so much for progressivism. Because to those 70 percent, the party is like the creepy guy who pulls up in a van
04:33and tries to talk you into going for a ride. But it's impossible to hear the conclusions and not want
04:39to scream, you idiots. We've been telling you this forever on this show. It's nice to know that I can
04:45fix their brand with my eyes closed. So go ahead, keep watching Kimmel and Colbert while the answers
04:50you need are right here on Fox every night at 10 p.m. You know, the report also admits, hold your applause.
04:56I don't need it. I don't need it. The report also admits that the party elites are the ones to blame.
05:05True, if you complained to Pelosi about the price of eggs, she'd think you meant caviar or Fabergé.
05:12They'd call out the over-influence of highly educated and affluent voters as men flee the party like me
05:18when Travis Kelsey happens to come home early.
05:21But even here, they just can't quit the virtue bat signaling, saying Dems have much to learn from
05:31Bernie, AOC, and Zoran. So in other words, stay woke Dems just turned race into class. It's still
05:39oppression politics, but they switched targets, replacing equity with affordability. But they
05:45never say for whom or from whom. So it's not just progressive rhetoric that wrecks your brand.
05:51It's the punitive nature of the ideology itself. So how do they change? If the politics of envy made
05:58them reject things that work, what is their off-ramp? How do you euthanize the Frankenstein
06:03monster you created with your ever-present oppression filter? Well, the answer lies not in a rebrand of
06:10your ideas. They suck. It's to rebrand the opponent's ideas so your followers don't have
06:16to admit that they agree with them. Democrats want law and order, but Republicans own that turf.
06:22So what if the Dems rebranded law and order as security with compassion? And if you can't compete
06:29with Republicans on free markets, why not rebrand capitalism as the opportunity of profit?
06:35Maybe it's time to embrace borders, but as inclusive boundaries. I mean, you could probably sell this
06:43stuff without looking like you've turned MAGA. And yeah, we Republicans, we're smart enough. We'll
06:47see right through it. But we'd much rather have the Democrat Party save face if it means saving our
06:53country from Democrats.
07:01He dresses like a personal investment money planner. Or pimp. The host of Making Money
07:08on Fox, Mrs. Charles Payne.
07:11She caused many men to fall in love with earplugs. Co-host of our number, Emily Campagno.
07:25This Jesus better walk on water because he probably can't swim. Host of Hotep Jesus Live. Hotep Jesus.
07:33In high school, she was voted most likely to bring back the gold standard. New York Times bestselling
07:41author and birthday girl, Kat Tim.
07:49Wow, two racist introductions and we're only two minutes in. So, Charles, are you surprised by these
07:56findings? Did they need to pay for this stuff?
07:59No, of course not. I mean, but here's what's crazy, okay? Because I'm looking at the list, right?
08:04And 2012 to 2014, their platform started using the term white, black, and Latino. It went up 1100%.
08:13Yeah.
08:13It's just nuts. Climate, 150%. Guns, 720%. LGBT, 1,000%. What went down? Jobs, 47%. Economy, 47%.
08:23I mean, it's just nuts. But when I read, when I hear it, and I read the story, and I looked at the
08:28thing, and I'm looking at the leaders now, you ever see the far side when a guy's sitting in the
08:33airplane, and he's sitting next to a real weirdo, and his thought bubbles over his head, like, oh,
08:37I'm always sitting next to the weirdos. And there's some guy coming, like, three times weirder than
08:40that, ready to sit in the empty seat. They got tampon Timmy on deck. They've got all these other
08:45people like, what the hell is going on? They're going to get worse. They're not going to get better.
08:49They're actually going to get worse. And that's what's crazy about this report.
08:52I'm scared to see what the next iteration is, because wokeism was an iteration of the
08:57politically correct. What will this be? My guess is it's going to go to class, Emily. And the word
09:03affordability, which seems to be working, is going to be their equity. Because when you say affordability,
09:08you don't know who it's for, and you don't know from whom. It's, again, taking punitive action
09:14against the rich and wealthy like you.
09:16I don't know. I don't know if I do that. But yes, we saw also during the prior administration,
09:23where they mentioned the middle class, the working class, but they never defined it, right? That was
09:27something that a trigger word for them all day, every day. I think interestingly, what we're going
09:31to see, though, is a doubling down of who runs. Because the issue is not whether the party actually
09:37takes this advice. It's whether people are running. The usual is a buffet of socialism. And look here in
09:42this city. I mean, Zoran Mamdani is likely going to be the next mayor of Gotham City. And it is a
09:48frightening concept. This is someone whose brand was predicated on being anti-Semitic, on being
09:54divisive, on in no way saying, oh, you know what? Let's take the fringe issue and not talk about it.
09:59It's actually about real common sense. He's tackling affordability in a way that is so fringe. But that's
10:06the option. I mean, now, otherwise, it's Cuomo. But I think, too, do you remember when Jasmine Crockett,
10:11and we weren't sure if this was true or not at the time, but she talked about how she was passed
10:15over in terms of campaigning for Kamala Harris when she said, send me to the rural areas. I said,
10:20no, no, no, no, no. Just stay in the big cities. And the point was that it wasn't just strategy or
10:26an oversight. It was an actual blind spot the Democrat Party had with people who are rural,
10:31with people who have normal values instead of picketing in the streets on Sundays about putting
10:36boys into girls sports. So my point is that they're going to keep missing that entire swath
10:43of America that just wants the government to work again, and that just wants their girls to play
10:47sports. But they're not going to move forward unless people run on that platform.
10:52Hotep, you're a man. Did climate change and identity politics turn you off?
10:57Absolutely. I can't stand the Democrat Party. Yeah. I mean, I've looked at these people,
11:03and I've assessed this, and as a professional psychologist, I know exactly what the problem is.
11:08Yes. These people fall into three different buckets. Yeah. Men who can't get women,
11:14women who can't get men, and men who keep their wallet in their women's purse.
11:19And all three of these groups got something in common. They can't get laid. Yes.
11:28So what we're dealing with here is the sexual revolution, right? They were talking about
11:33sexual revolution. And I figured out, I'm like, oh, okay, I get it. You can't get sex. That's why
11:38you're having a sexual revolution. And there it is. That's the issue. So whenever you see these people,
11:44just understand, you're looking at somebody who is under-sexed. So you would expect them to just
11:50make really bad decisions in life. And you say you're a professional psychologist. I am, sir.
11:56Yes, yes. Where did you practice? University of Hard Knock Life.
12:05Can I pick plans for your birthday, huh? Going out, painting the town red or black or?
12:09I'm going to binge eat. Good for you. I'm excited for that. Good for you. I'm so happy for you.
12:15Is this, do you, are you kind of like pissed off that we've been saying this now for a couple of
12:21years and the Democrats paid these guys probably a couple of million, 10 million bucks for a report
12:26that they could have got for us for free? Yeah. Or just paying attention. Because do you remember
12:31for a while how insufferable it was? Like it's, people feel like it's an exaggeration for people to
12:37have said you can't say anything. Yeah. But do you remember when you used to be like,
12:41I like this food. Mm-hmm. And that would, there'd be a problem with that. You'd be like,
12:45well, do you even know where this food even comes from? Yeah.
12:48You know nothing about the history of this food. And you'd be like, you're okay. Yeah.
12:53Like, I don't like, but it's good. They're like, how dare you say that? You know? And you just got to
12:58a point where you're like, should I, like, what do you, do you want me to kill myself? Like,
13:02what, like, what do you want from me exactly? And I think they just took it way too far where it's
13:08like, okay, I'm just going to go and talk to the people I can actually speak without feeling like I
13:13have to just kill myself, which I feel like that should have been clear. I feel like, but a lot of
13:18people said it, but maybe they weren't paying attention or maybe they were too worried about
13:22themselves being like, oh, how could you really say something like we can't say that anymore?
13:26I think probably the easiest thing explanation is if it was on Fox, they can't agree with it.
13:31And if it's from a Republican, they can't agree with it. And when Trump
13:35took that whole, uh, lane of common sense, they can't agree with common sense. So they're out on
13:42the, they're like on the outside and they, they, they're punishing their party by disagreeing with
13:47just basic, you know, that's my theory. And I expect applause for it.
13:52I kid, I don't need your applause. Up next, Bill Gates backtracks.
14:01If you'll be in the New York area and would like tickets to see Gutfeld,
14:04go to foxnews.com slash Gutfeld and click on the link to join our studio audience.
14:09A story in five words.
14:16Now you tell us, Bill. Emily, this is amazing. After years of saying the planet was doomed because
14:21of climate change, Bill Gates has changed his mind writing, although climate change will have
14:26serious consequences, it will not lead to humanity's demise. People will be able to live and thrive in
14:31most places on earth for the foreseeable future. Actually, he, I'm pretty sure he even said that
14:36warm climates are good. So this was after he convinced everybody to, to, and, and our tax money
14:43in the trillions to go to a cause that was completely fabricated.
14:46Yeah. And not only did he do that, but then scientists who dared to speak up and say,
14:52actually, the science doesn't support the fact that the world is ending in nine years,
14:55as John Kerry said in 2021, they were vilified. They were canceled and shunned from the profession.
15:02And we talk about in the earlier block about the, you know, the language poppy and like a 2000%
15:07increase in certain words. I mean, because of what he said and the movement he led, while by the way,
15:12having invested in fossil fuel companies to the tune of over $15 billion, that was amplified around
15:19the world a million times over. Jobs were lost. Scientists were put to shame. People are out on
15:25the streets every weekend. Gen Z has anxiety.
15:28Throwing paint.
15:28Throwing paint at the masters.
15:30At Van Gogh.
15:31At Van Gogh's, exactly.
15:32But the thing that-
15:32He was alive, he cut off his other ear.
15:34That's right. And the thing that sucks to me too, is that his position now, again,
15:38dovetails with our first point, which is, it's just common sense. He's saying,
15:41if you sound the alarm, people feel hopeless and they're not going to do anything. But if you
15:46actually say, guys, this is manageable, here's how, let's invest in this, let's be innovative,
15:50then of course people are like, great, we're on board, let's have a lemonade stand.
15:55The alarmism emanating from the Democrat Party, that's their sinking ship. Everything is death
16:00imminently. So of course people are going to flee. But welcome to the right side of the world,
16:04Bill Gates.
16:05Yeah, I guess we should be grateful, Hotep. But do you think, here's a theory I posited earlier on
16:09The Five. I don't know if you saw it. It was really one of my-
16:12I watched The Five every day.
16:13Yeah, it was one of my finer moments. Could it be this, he changed his mind because he got
16:17divorced? Like when he was married, he just assumed his life was doomed.
16:22Damn.
16:22And then he got divorced. He's like, oh my God, I have a new life. I have a new life. We could,
16:28I was completely wrong. I mean, that happens.
16:32I agree. Have you seen the way he's shaped? He's shaped like a pear. If I was his wife,
16:37I would have left him too.
16:38Yeah.
16:39Yeah. For a guy to be so rich, I don't understand what's wrong with him.
16:43But I've been here about this climate change situation since like seventh grade.
16:48Yeah.
16:48I'm in seventh grade. I'm in science class. They're handing out worksheets that I'm never
16:51going to do. And they're like, oh, it's climate change. And it's the ozone layer. And there's
16:57a hole in the sky. And the alien's going to shove a big through it and the world. And it's
17:01just like, wait a second, lady. Like, don't quote me on that, by the way. You know, but how
17:09am I supposed to listen to Bill Gates? He can't even keep my computer up long enough for me
17:13to log in the X and flirt with Lauren Boebert. Like, what are we doing here?
17:19You know, I can't trust him.
17:20No, you can't trust him. You know, Kat, though, we always say, you know, if someone finally
17:24agrees with you, you should accept it. And he is now pro-nuclear. He's like, he's sounding
17:30more and more like a, but it's like, do we just ignore all the damage that's done?
17:35You know, I don't feel like he really cares what I, what I think.
17:38I don't know. And I also kind of don't really care what he thinks either.
17:43Yeah.
17:44It's like, all right, we get it already. Like, I don't know. I think the funny, but people
17:49have taken this so seriously, but I also can't tell if they really have the whole, there's
17:54a lot of people in my generation and the younger generation who say they're not having children
17:58because of the environment.
17:59Right.
17:59Which I always think is ****.
18:02Yeah. It's an excuse.
18:03Yes, because it's hard.
18:05Yeah.
18:05Because having kids is hard. You have to wake up early.
18:07Mm-hmm.
18:08You have, forever.
18:12You don't have to wake up early, but that you would be a bad mom if you didn't.
18:16I think being bare minimum as a mom means that you're awake when the child's awake.
18:21Yes.
18:22I don't think that makes you a good mom. I feel like that's bare minimum mom.
18:26Yeah.
18:26I don't walk around bragging like, you know, when my baby's awake, so am I.
18:32Hot mom tip for everyone. When they're screaming in the crib, don't just leave them there all
18:36day by themselves.
18:37I don't think you get any trophies for that. I think that's just how you get, like, not
18:41arrested.
18:41Hey, yes.
18:43But in it, like, you know, it's like, people, I'm sick of people trying to brand their selfishness.
18:48If you're selfish, I don't care. That's fine. Just be like, I'm selfish.
18:52Mm-hmm.
18:52I don't want to have kids because I don't want to wake up early or I don't think that
18:55works for me or I have other passions in my life or whatever. I waited a really long
18:58time, obviously. We were all shocked when that, when I finally had it, not least of
19:02all me.
19:03Yeah.
19:03But, I mean, the whole making it about the climate so that you have to, like, talk down
19:07to people who did the thing, it's like, it's just kind of like, ugh, just stop with that.
19:11Yeah.
19:11You know, I do really think, I don't know.
19:13Yeah. You know, Charles, you are the business guy here. What do you think the opportunity
19:19costs for all of this, like, the last 30 to 40 years? I don't think you can tabulate the
19:26opportunity costs. Trillions of dollars that could have, you probably could have solved
19:30poverty in every third world country.
19:33Yeah. And think about even right now, this AI race, the data center race. In New Jersey,
19:38they're talking about electricity costs. Well, the Democrat comes in and shuts down five
19:42plants right away, including a nuclear power plant. You go to war with fossil fuels. What
19:46the hell? How are you going to get to work? It's just, none of it ever made any sense. And
19:50I'm just, my theory is that at one point it was the richest person in the world and he
19:54was bored. He's like, how can I just figure, you know, he had nothing to do, but he left
19:58the carnage that's out there. Think about all the pressure. I will say, cows, you know,
20:04they wanted to stop cows from farming.
20:05Yes.
20:07Right now, there's some cows out there like, oh, it's been since 2019. You know, don't walk
20:11past the pastor any time in the next week. Let me listen to that right now. Give me some
20:16cows on their farts for, what's that, since 2019. I really feel bad, though, for Greta.
20:22Yes.
20:23Greta. Because Bill, he's a billionaire. She's broke. She's like, you know, activist
20:28for hire. Give me a cause. Gaza's gone now. The climate's gone. What is Greta going to
20:33be upset about?
20:34That is true. Like, she can't hate the Jews anymore. She should, like, blame the Jews for
20:38climate change. And she kills two birds with one stone. You know the funny thing about
20:42the cattle thing? Do you know that it got so crazy that they were doing surgeries on cattle
20:47and putting their stomachs outside so they would fart into giant bags? Did you know this?
20:53I did not know that. I'm not making it. What a burger? What's it with? I might have dreamt
20:58this. Yeah. I've never heard this. No, it did. Everybody at home right now is Googling it and
21:04going, did they pull the cow's stomachs out so they would fart outside into bags? I'm not. I'm making
21:11this up. Why don't I try it back to their ass? So, I mean, maybe? No? I don't know. Maybe I did
21:18dreamt it. I think it's just Joy Behar's surgery. You know what it is? This is what happens. Climate
21:22change hysteria. Screwed my brain. We need national deprogramming to get our kids back to thinking
21:28like kids. Yes. Because we totally f*** them up. All right. Up next, Gruesome Newsome. I really
21:35believe I...
21:35Boney. Boney. I'm totally weird. Galen's hands. It's time for Galen's hands.
21:55Newsome lies about his son to get ready for a presidential run. Tonight in Gavin's hands,
22:00we expose Newsome's gross hypocrisy on Charlie Kirk. Here he was just a few months ago,
22:04fangirling to Charlie about his son's obsession with him.
22:09Literally last night, trying to put my son to bed. He's like, no, dad. I just... What time? What
22:14time's Charlie going to be here? What time? And I'm like, dude, you're in school tomorrow. He's 13.
22:18He's like, no, no. This morning, wakes up at six up. Then he's like, I'm coming. The point,
22:23which is you are making a damn dent. Thank you. But on Tuesday, CNN played him that clip and
22:30used him, talked in circles. Is that your son? So that's your son, obviously a fan of Charlie
22:37Kirk. What was the conversation like between you and your son after Charlie Kirk was assassinated?
22:43He called me. I don't know how he got a phone, but he called me from school that day. Really
22:47alarmed. He wasn't a fan of him as much as he was familiar with him. That was a true story. I didn't
22:53know what he was staying or stand for. He didn't even have his strong position himself. But you know
22:57what? He felt like Charlie was talking to him. So wait, is your son a fan or not? Or are you
23:03distancing yourself from Charlie for your White House run? Or are you distancing yourself from
23:07your son for your White House run? That was Joe's strategy with Hunter. He also took a swing
23:13at Rogan who won't have Gavin on his show. I wonder, has Joe been attacking me? He's been attacking
23:20me and it's one way and he won't have me on. He's consistently not having me on. By the way, I'm
23:23moving on. I have no interest. You're done with him? Joe Rogan's the Facebook of podcasts.
23:27Podcasting. Facebook of podcasting. What the hell does that even mean? Facebook has
23:34three billion users. Does that mean Joe Rogan still has a pretty big audience? Joe Rogan's
23:40got a pretty big audience still. You know what? But with all due respect, if he has a big
23:45audience but he doesn't have big enough confidence, I didn't go there, to have me on. These guys,
23:52they all have something in common. It's one way. They attack, they belittle, they demean,
23:56they take things out of context. If I can go on Sean Ryan and Sean Hannity, what are you worried
24:00about? Joe, you're going to cook me or I'm going to cook myself.
24:04Oh no, you just cooked California, jackass. All right.
24:09Cat, he says he's moving on. What do you make of that? I'd move on too. Do you think he has any
24:16idea that there's like people who remembers the stuff he says?
24:20Yeah, that is, you know, really that blows my mind, right? Because you don't have to remember
24:25the stuff he says because he said it publicly and it was recorded. So you don't have to remember it.
24:31Why do people do that? When you were like politicians do it, media do it with their kids,
24:36just be caught. Like their kids say stuff that you need the kids to say. Yes. Right. So like one day
24:42the kid says this and one day the kid says it's like, okay, but like, what did the kid actually
24:46say? Because these things don't make sense anymore. You have to wonder how he feels because this kid
24:50is a person who actually does have opinions and he's like, okay, dad, today I think this and today
24:55I think that. That's so like, why do they do that? It's not like Katie Porter did it when she's like
25:01saying like, my daughter was so concerned about having an abortion someday. And it's like, no,
25:05she's not. Yeah. Like when she's like 12 or something. I'm like, no, this stuff is made up.
25:09Yeah, I know. I know. I was just talking to my daughter about climate change. Right. Yeah,
25:13exactly. I said, I get, I said, aren't you worried about climate change? And she looked up and she
25:19went, and I, I was so touched by the eloquence of her concerned hotep. She was speechless.
25:34Can we walk through this slowly? I just want to recap what happened. Yes. Yeah. So
25:39Charlie Kirk was scheduled to go on Gavin do some show. His son is, can't go to sleep. Yeah.
25:46And dad, when is Charlie getting here? What is, then he calls him from school. Yeah. And we're
25:53supposed to believe he's not a fan of Charlie. Yeah. This is, this is the classic gaslighting
26:00that Democrats do. It's like some sort of voodoo magic wand stuff. MIB flashy thingy where we're
26:07supposed to just believe whatever they say. It is the weirdest thing ever. And it's like,
26:13it's just, it's just blatant lying. And that's what just makes me disgusted. Like
26:17every time I take a s**t, I think of Gavin Newsom. You know what I'm saying? It's, it's terrible.
26:27Can't stand it. I met him once. I met Gavin Newsom once. Yeah. At the garbage dump.
26:35Sorry. I'm sorry. I can do this all day. I can do this all day. I can't stand him. Charlie,
26:40do you think he talks about this, especially the Rogan stuff, because it focuses less on the
26:45mess he's created in California? Like a feud just can gobble. I think he's learning from Trump
26:50that a feud can gobble up all the oxygen that would be reserved for asking him pointed questions.
26:57Authentic feuds. Yeah. It's like, he's making s**t up, Rogan's like, I don't know what this,
27:02you know, it's, but he's just a, he, he is a, when you, I, it's unfortunate when you say someone's a
27:07great politician, we mean that they're a great liar. Yeah. I mean, that's what this day and age is.
27:11I mean, this guy is just, he just never stops. He has crushed California. He has destroyed the
27:16golden state and he's made it the worst state income inequality, the worst state to start a
27:21business, the worst state to raise a family, unless you're ultra, ultra rich. And you never even see
27:26the crap in the streets in San Francisco because your office is in a, in a, in a space carved out
27:31in the woods, you know, but only other rich people work and he's destroyed that. And the idea that
27:36he thinks, or he rates really high, it's crazy. It really, really is. But I think Americans are
27:41waking up certain pockets. I don't think, you know, listen, for whatever reason, California,
27:45you get what you vote for, but this guy, I just, if he ever won, I just, I'm not sure who I would
27:51want over him or tampon Timmy, honestly, but it would be, it'd be tough. It'd be real tough.
27:55Don't ever posit that choice. Emily though, it is kind of interesting that, I mean, California can
28:02almost be run on autopilot because it's so beautiful. It's got such amazing weather that
28:07basically an invalid could run, Joe Biden could run it. That's why he's getting away. That's
28:12why he's getting away with it because, you know, people will stay in California no matter how bad
28:17it is. Yeah, sort of, because I think it's been gutted throughout the middle. It's like those puffs
28:22that are, that are hollow. The reality is the only people that have stayed there are the ultra rich
28:27that can afford it and that pay to maintain that lifestyle to not notice that everything is falling
28:31to. And then also those that can't afford to leave that are drowning in their own feces on
28:37the sidewalk. I've been subjected to this person ever since he was mayor of San Francisco. You know,
28:41I, I, and it kills me to your point that the smarmyness, the weaseliness, the lies from that
28:47he was growing up on the streets and it was hand to mouth when he was launching a wine label with the
28:52Gettys. He was sleeping with his campaign manager's wife while homeless were dying on the streets.
28:57And then he's the nerve to now deny that his son was a fan of Charlie Kirk, which by the way,
29:02if he was astute, he could say, you know, there's a generational pull to Charlie Kirk and let's talk
29:07about why let's talk about the void in our children. And here's why I aim to, to propose policies that
29:13will help. Like he missed that opportunity just because he's a jerk. He's not actually out in it for
29:18the betterment of California or anyone in the Joe Rogan thing. I mean, if he listened to him,
29:23he would know that Joe Rogan only asks questions. Like that's a subscription to curiosity. Joe Rogan
29:27isn't there prattling off certain policies that he's into. By the way, I think if he does get to
29:32the presidential debate, you have to be the moderator. You have to ask the question, Charles.
29:37Get it down to economy.
29:40I feel bad.
29:40And if he won't answer the questions, I'm calling Holtep in. Wait a minute.
29:44I'm out.
29:44I'm right there.
29:45I'm right there.
29:46I feel bad because if, if his kid was a fan of Charlie Kirk, that means he watches this
29:52show. I feel bad that we're hitting his dad while he's watching.
29:56Oh, I feel like, how do you think dad feels like, is he allowed to lie?
30:00Like, you know what I mean? Like his dad can never be like, is that true? He'd be like,
30:05and what do you have to say about it if it's not?
30:07Yeah, it's true. All right. I feel better now. Coming up, King Trump's gold crown.
30:16Who could frown seeing Trump in a crown or video of the day comes from South Korea,
30:34where President Trump received a massive gold crown replica from the ancient Silla Kingdom.
30:41South Korea's president also awarded Trump the nation's highest honor for his North Korea
30:44diplomacy and declared a new golden age for the U.S.-South Korea alliance.
30:51It's pretty funny when you think about it. Remember, eight years ago, the Dems tried to destroy him
30:56with lies about a golden shower. Now all they hear about is a golden age.
31:03I'll just end it there, Hotep. It's pretty funny, huh?
31:15This is hilarious. I feel like, because everybody in the world watches American politics.
31:21Like, we are the pop culture, right?
31:23So the South Korean president was sitting there watching his TV last weekend like,
31:27no kings? Ha, ha, ha. I know what I'm doing next week.
31:32So he's like, hey, cook up one of those crowns when Trump gets here next week.
31:36Yeah, exactly. They are like the guy that helps you troll somebody else.
31:42Yeah.
31:43You know, I said it on The Five yesterday.
31:45The guy, he's like the guy that gets on his fours behind the other guy that you push over.
31:50That's what North Korea just did to South Korea just did to the Democrats.
31:53Yeah, it was, I thought that was absolutely brilliant.
31:57But I'm here to say that I'm here for Trump to be king.
32:00I'm here for a third term.
32:06And for one reason and one reason only, my portfolio needs it.
32:12My stock portfolio needs, I just need four more years after 2028 and I will be good.
32:19Yes. Charles, should he wear the crown?
32:23Hell yeah, he should wear it at the State of the Union address.
32:26Oh my God. Oh.
32:30He is a, Mr. Speaker?
32:34And my man comes out with a pimp walk like, what's up, baby?
32:36He's got to have a big turkey leg.
32:38He's got to be eating a big turkey leg like at a banquet.
32:41Let me tell you right now, if he wears that at the State of the Union, he's, the black vote for the Republicans in the bag.
32:48Brother's going to be getting the crown necklace everywhere.
32:51I'm telling you, if he wears that at the State of the Union, that's it.
32:54The Dems are done.
32:55They're done.
32:56I'm telling you right now.
32:58He watches, so wear the crown.
33:01Wear the crown, baby.
33:01Emily, what do you think about the future, the next four years?
33:07Do you think, there are two amendments, the 12th and 22nd, I don't know what they are.
33:12He can't be vice president, but he could be something else.
33:16Yeah.
33:16That idea that you had where he should be installed as, like, the secretary of state or something awesome, I love that idea.
33:21But I also sort of want him to be, like, you know, our colleague here.
33:24How awesome would that be, him just walking around?
33:26You mean hang him out and just have his own show?
33:28Totally.
33:28Yeah.
33:29But I think what's fascinating about this, you guys, is that remember when Obama was given the Nobel Peace Prize?
33:35And one of the reasons stated there was two, it was for the promise of a new era of diplomacy.
33:40But this is the reality of what diplomacy looks like, because this crown symbolizes a $325 billion investment by South Korea and America.
33:49Like, we are watching the real deal right now, and that's what that crown symbolizes.
33:55But, of course, the media is focusing on...
33:56Was South Korea trolling, or were they pandering?
34:06Yeah, I don't think they were trolling, really.
34:09I mean, I would just...
34:09Trolling the Democrat, they never try, they go, or, but they weren't, I don't know, maybe they're just having fun.
34:15Maybe that's what they do, like, when they're like, hey, here you go, here's a crown, you know?
34:18Like, sometimes, you know how, like, if you go to a birthday party, they'll give you, like, a little gift basket.
34:22Yes, everybody has to wear the funny hat.
34:24Maybe they'll do something like this, right?
34:26Where they get a crown.
34:27But I feel like you're just jealous because you can never wear that.
34:30What?
34:31How come?
34:31The weight of it would crush you.
34:33Aww.
34:35Unnecessary.
34:36Don't egg her on.
34:37Just because it's her birthday doesn't mean she can be, doesn't mean she can be cruel.
34:42She was just cruel for cruelty's sake.
34:44And egging that on makes you an accomplice, much like South Korea.
34:49Up next, vicious monkeys on the prowl.
34:52We planned well for retirement.
35:01No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
35:31Where the walls fall down in the last february
35:36Our tears will sink to the sun
35:41Where the wind is there, where the wind is with you
35:45In the morning, I lost my mind for you
35:50If you love all the birds and trees, all the fishes in the seas
35:55If you think videos of pets is as good as it gets
36:00This segment is for you, we hope your furry dreams come true
36:03It's time to celebrate Greg's Animal Friends
36:07Celebrate Greg's Animal Friends!
36:12Tonight in Greg's Animal Friends, three aggressive lab monkeys are on the loose after the truck they were riding
36:17A crash in Mississippi, initial sheriff reports warned
36:20The creatures were infected with COVID, herpes, and hepatitis C
36:24Fun!
36:27But Tulane University, where they came from, disputes that saying they're not infectious
36:32Kat, are they health-smearing these poor...
36:36I feel bad for them, because they didn't think they'd get infected from the lab
36:41No, that might even not be true
36:43They might have been infected from the driver!
36:45Yeah, I don't...
36:46I just would feel bad if they...
36:49I would feel bad if they got all these viruses, they didn't even get to get them the fun way
36:53I know!
36:53This is why if...
36:55I have a rule that if animals escape from the lab, they're allowed to be free
36:59Imagine how... what their lives are like, Hotep
37:03Monkeys living in a lab...
37:05There'd be a lot of pandemics under your leadership
37:07Yes, that's true
37:10I know, I know...
37:11Get away from Fauci!
37:13I know exactly what happened when I saw this story
37:16Uh-huh
37:17The monkeys carjacked them
37:19They carjacked them, they crashed them, they said, we free, we free!
37:25And they escaped, that's what happened
37:27No racist jokes, Greg, don't you try it, Fauci
37:29Don't you try it
37:31There goes the whole thing I was about to say, let me get rid of that
37:34Let me go through the non-racist commentary
37:37Emily, uh, they were rhesus monkeys, which seems fitting for Halloween
37:42Because, well, you know what I'm getting at
37:45Doesn't this bother you? It makes you feel kind of bad
37:48I feel bad for them that they were in cages
37:50I love that they escaped, they're adorable
37:52I hope that the neighbors pick them up and make pets out of them
37:54I love them so much
37:55But you guys, we have to be careful
37:56Because if you say someone has an STD, that's defamation per se
38:00It means that they don't have to prove damages
38:02So I feel like we should be nicer to the truck driver
38:04But also, I was like, isn't this just a bar in Midtown
38:07Where everyone is riddled with STDs?
38:09I like how she does that
38:11You can't, like, go after one guy
38:13But you can smear a whole bunch of people
38:15The whole financial district
38:17I think the truck driver made a joke
38:20He might have made a joke, I don't know
38:22And then the cop just wrote it into the police report
38:25Yeah, I don't know, I just don't know
38:26And you can't ask the monkeys
38:28Because they're not going to tell you
38:29They're too embarrassed
38:30Clearly, they're out there trying to kill these monkeys
38:33And I'm just saying, golly
38:34Oh, gosh
38:35You know, if they implement this rule with people in New York
38:39This is going to be like the OK Corral
38:40Like, every time he's dodging bullets to get to work
38:43Machine guns and everything
38:45So, it's kind of cold-blooded
38:48By the way, these Reese's monkeys are New World monkeys
38:50They're considered inferior to, like, chimpanzees and things like that
38:54So, in a way, that's kind of messed up
38:56Going back to the Democratic platform there, you know
38:58It's like inequality, you know
39:01Why don't they put the chimps in there?
39:02They always do the little bitty Reese's monkeys
39:04Yeah, that's not fair
39:06Try to come full circle
39:07And you failed, Charles
39:10Cat, you always rescue infected animals
39:15If you had come across
39:17What would you do if you came across an infected Reese's monkey?
39:20Jeans has herpes
39:21We've been over this
39:22He also had worms and some other kind of virus
39:25When I rescued him
39:26And he's still alive, by the way
39:28Fifteen and a half years old
39:29Yes, thank you
39:31I do deserve applause for that
39:33Because it hasn't been easy
39:35No, it hasn't
39:35Yeah, he's on several medications a day
39:38Yeah, it's pretty amazing to be your age
39:41And have a fifteen-year-old at home
39:42Yeah, exactly
39:43I had him very young
39:47And he's still alive
39:47Yes
39:48Good for you
39:49We'll be right back
39:51Thank you
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