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Gutfeld! 12/5/25 Greg Gutfeld FULL END SHOW | ᗷᖇEᗩKIᑎG ᑎEᗯS Tᖇᑌᗰᑭ December 5, 2025
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00:00What do you think of this?
00:25Look at my impression of Jeffrey Epstein.
00:30Let's welcome tonight's guest.
00:33He used to carry a gun.
00:35Now he just bores people to death.
00:38Former CIA operative and host of the President's Daily Brief Podcast, Mike Baker.
00:45Anesthesiologist uses commentary to put people under.
00:50Fox and Friends first co-host Todd Pyro.
00:52She's already getting hand-me-downs from her baby.
00:59New York Times bestselling author, Fox News contributor, catch him.
01:05And like water aerobics, old ladies love to do him in groups.
01:09Former NWA world champion and host of the planet, Tyrus Podcast.
01:13Okay, before we get to some news stories, let's do this.
01:26You don't like my impression?
01:27I've been working on this for like months.
01:29It's leftovers where I read the jokes we didn't use this week.
01:38And as always, it's my first time reading them.
01:40So if they suck, we'll text Pete Hegseth and tell him Joe Mackey just went paddleboarding with a big bag of meth.
01:46The Biden administration is being accused of sitting on evidence in the D.C. pipe bomb case.
01:58Wow, sitting on a pipe bomb sounds like fun, said one man.
02:04Meanwhile, CNN's Jake Tapper is being roasted for calling the black suspect white.
02:10But this could explain why Jake once got Abby Phillip a Cracker Barrel gift certificate for her birthday.
02:21You like those, Todd?
02:23I do. I like those.
02:24Police recovered a stolen Faberge egg from a New Zealand man who swallowed it six days ago.
02:31Which means we now know what it takes.
02:33That it takes six days to poop out stolen jewelry.
02:37So, honey, your anniversary gift is going to be a day late.
02:44According to a new study, the average person farts 23 times a day.
02:49Would have been lower, but one man drove up the average.
02:54New details suggest Ilhan Omar may be related to some of the Somali fraudsters.
03:00She denies this, saying if she was related to them, she would have already married them.
03:07Democrat Rep. Jim Himes defended the narco-terrorists as shipwrecked sailors.
03:16Yeah, and he claims they were just going on a three-hour tour.
03:20In protest of transportation, Secretary Sean Duffy's request to dress better, travelers are now wearing pajamas to the airport.
03:31Well, if we're wearing what we wear to bed to the airport, this is going to be me on my flight to Reno.
03:36According to a new study, the shape of your ass could help predict your risk of diabetes.
03:51Yeah, although there's already a blood test for that.
03:56Doctors complain that it doesn't let them look at people's butts.
03:59Well, your response makes me feel like I read it wrong, but I think I read it correctly.
04:14You did.
04:15Yeah.
04:16An Idaho bar is offering free beer to customers who help ICE deport illegal immigrants.
04:21The promotion is so popular, they had to turn away at least one former boarder czar.
04:32The most popular plastic surgery among guys in the United States is now breast reductions,
04:38or as people in the industry call it, the stelter.
04:43According to a new study, some dogs can learn the names of hundreds of objects.
04:47Even more, they have 1,000 different ways to say, look out, it's Kristi Noem.
04:55A new survey says Las Vegas is America's most sinful city,
05:01thanks to gambling, strip clubs, and substance abuse.
05:05But hell, why to go to Vegas when you could just go to Kudlow's house
05:09and place bets on whether this stripper is on meth?
05:11Polite laughter on that one.
05:17A new study shows that chimps drink one to two alcoholic drinks per day from fermented fruit.
05:24So I guess it's time for me to fire my driver.
05:29He's so happy.
05:30And finally, Pantone, that's the company that defines colors,
05:35has announced a pale shade of white called Cloud Dancer as their color of the year.
05:41Narrowly beating out an even blander shade of white called the Todd Pyro.
05:46That was good.
05:48Saw that one.
05:51Saw that one.
05:53All right.
05:55So this week, the FBI finally arrested the Jan 6th pipe bomb suspect
06:00who left two bombs outside the DNC and RNC headquarters the day before.
06:05He's 30-year-old Brian Cole Jr. of Virginia.
06:09Let's go to Jake Tapper for the lowdown.
06:13Brian Cole Jr., a 30-year-old white man from the D.C. suburbs.
06:16We do have new photographs, as you saw during that presentation from Brian,
06:22new photographs of the suspect.
06:25Well, that's a shade of white I've never seen before.
06:29Maybe he borrowed some shoe polish from Jimmy Kimmel.
06:32Anyway, it took the Trump White House no time to get the guy.
06:38After four years of the Biden White House going nowhere.
06:42Well, nowhere except through Melania Trump's underwear drawer.
06:46So why so long?
06:47Well, here's FBI Director Cash Patel breaking it down
06:50for the second best-looking man at Fox, Trace Gallagher.
06:54The prior administration sat on the evidence for four years.
06:58There wasn't any production of new evidence from five years ago.
07:01We looked at three million lines of evidence.
07:03We went back and looked at the cell phone tower data dumps.
07:07We went back and looked at the providers and what information they provided
07:11pursuant to search warrants at the time and asked questions such as,
07:14why weren't all the phone numbers scrubbed and why weren't they connected
07:17and why wasn't there any geolocational data done?
07:19Now, that is either sheer incompetence or complete intentional negligence,
07:23and neither of which is acceptable for this FBI.
07:26Hmm.
07:27So that's the difference.
07:29Looking at data dumps instead of the dumps Biden left around the White House.
07:34So now they got the guy.
07:36The only mystery is why the Biden administration
07:39seemed less interested in this than Lindsey Graham is at Hooters.
07:43So why did Trump do the job that Biden did it?
07:50Don't say it's because Biden's brain dead.
07:52He proved that brain dead people can still investigate Catholics,
07:56parents from school board meetings,
07:57and spend months trying to track down and arrest grannies.
08:00And while cell phone tower data was part of how they busted coal,
08:05the Biden White House used similar data to track down hundreds of Jan 6 Trump supporters
08:10for other crimes.
08:11So it's more than just being brain dead.
08:14Although Democrat Senator Mark Warner,
08:16whose brain is so dead doctors keep trying to harvest his kidneys,
08:20he still blames the Trump White House.
08:23Looking at this crowd doing a victory lap
08:26when all the senior FBI officials across all key divisions
08:31have been fired for political purposes,
08:33it's a little rich that they're saying America is safe.
08:36How much earlier could we have caught this guy if resources hadn't been diverted?
08:42Resources hadn't been diverted, pal.
08:44They weren't the ones busy chasing down anyone
08:46who might have tried on a MAGA hat in the last 10 years.
08:49If this guy was any more of a douchebag,
08:51Tim Waltz would put him in a boy's bathroom.
08:55But Warren is just covering for his team.
08:57And why?
08:58Well, Cole's arrest would have destroyed the narrative
09:00that Jan 6 was a white supremacist movement.
09:03Remember, here's what Biden and his cronies in Congress
09:06had to say about that.
09:07And the violent, deadly insurrection on the Capitol nine months ago,
09:11it was about white supremacy in life.
09:14They started conducting an investigation
09:15that left one team to cover the Capitol complex.
09:20So in other words, if those pipe bombs were intended to be a diversion,
09:24plainly speaking, it worked.
09:25I know that the Department of Homeland Security
09:27had identified domestic violent extremism,
09:31violent white supremacy as the number one terror threat in the country,
09:35but were they just overwhelmed and stunned
09:38at the complexity and magnitude of the attack?
09:43Thank you, sir.
09:44I would venture to say yes.
09:46So imagine saying that, and it turns out the bomber's black.
09:50There goes your narrative, crumbling like the powder
09:52I put in Brigham's drink.
09:55Instead of this being a story of white supremacy,
09:58it's yet another story of a nutbag.
10:00And now the press claims that the motive could be
10:02that the bomber thought the 2020 election was rigged.
10:05Yet he started collecting supplies for the bombs a year prior.
10:10Cole also worked for his dad's bail bonds business,
10:13which specialized in freeing illegals from ICE.
10:16And they sued Trump's DHS over its deportation policies.
10:20Still under Biden, the case was collecting dust,
10:23much like Biden himself.
10:25But under Trump, the case is revived.
10:27The perp ID'd, and the FBI tracks him down.
10:30Sounds familiar.
10:32The left said we can't stop illegal immigration,
10:34and Trump fixed that in a weekend.
10:37Makes you wonder about all the other messes
10:39the Dems left behind when they were in charge?
10:43Well, I guess we don't have to wonder.
10:44We're watching the Trump crew do the cleanup
10:46right before our eyes.
10:48Thank you very much, Mike Baker.
10:58Wearing his comfortable sweater.
11:01Not a sweater.
11:02It's a shacket.
11:03It's a shacket.
11:04Shacket.
11:04Wow.
11:05I shack you not.
11:08Do you think they sat on the evidence?
11:10Was this incompetence?
11:11Did they have just no incentive to go after this guy?
11:14Speak of the Biden White House.
11:15Put on your little spy intelligence hat.
11:18I never take it off.
11:21Unless I have to change the tinfoil.
11:23Look, I think, besides being America's
11:27most beloved podcast host, I also run a company
11:30that does investigations.
11:32Yes.
11:33And we do a lot of these, and we have done over the years
11:35in very complex situations, where you gather a lot of data.
11:39Right.
11:40Now, that's labor intensive.
11:42It's hard to do.
11:43But as you correctly pointed out, they did it for hundreds
11:48of individuals who they then identified and then charged
11:51and later convicted on some cases for January 6th.
11:55So I have a hard time imagining that this was a case of just
12:01failure to understand how to sift through the evidence.
12:04The Bureau is good.
12:05They've taken an ass kicking over the years, obviously,
12:07for being politicized.
12:09But for an investigation, they know what they're doing.
12:12Right.
12:12Methodology doesn't really change and hasn't changed.
12:15So I would look at this and say, what I would do now,
12:19now that they've got the perpetrator,
12:21I would then direct their attention to investigating
12:24what the investigators did.
12:27You can do that.
12:28You have a case file.
12:29So if Kash Patel, Dan Bongino, and others wanted to know exactly
12:33how the FBI worked through this case,
12:36all they have to do is open up the case file and look.
12:40And it's either going to be thorough and be explained
12:42what they did step by step, or there's going to be parts missing.
12:45Or why they stopped.
12:47Or why they stopped.
12:48Yes.
12:48So they can get to the answer that you're asking.
12:51Was it negligence?
12:52Was it incompetence?
12:53Was it deliberately ignored?
12:55Just by looking at the evidence that's sitting in their building.
12:58This dude was making phone calls that night.
13:00So there had to be maybe other people.
13:03And what about this, Todd, this whole thing about him,
13:06it being like they're trying to link it to an election rigging narrative,
13:09but he was getting the supplies a year before the election.
13:12So do you think he could actually be bringing up that narrative
13:16to get a pardon?
13:17I mean, no, I don't think that this guy is that smart.
13:21Well, thank you, Todd.
13:21Have a great night, everybody.
13:22Moving on.
13:24I think you point out the key fallacy.
13:27This was planned because this guy doesn't apparently like government
13:33on both sides, apparently.
13:36And that's giving him the benefit of the doubt
13:38because, like you mentioned, 2019 is when he started gathering the materials.
13:42That shoots down the, oh, I didn't like how the election went narrative.
13:46And I think we are all glossing past the key fact here.
13:49He sued Trump.
13:51His family sued Trump.
13:53This guy does not like the Trump administration.
13:56And so all these other narratives that are being floated out there
13:59are complete red herrings.
14:01And to follow up on what Mike said, I do think.
14:04Yeah, you're Mike, right?
14:05You're Mike Baker?
14:05Yes.
14:06I commend you for listening to that.
14:08I know.
14:09No, I didn't.
14:11Go ahead.
14:12You're playing.
14:13By all means, go ahead.
14:14I think we need to ask the question.
14:16How far did they get in the investigation into this guy?
14:20So much so, did they narrow it down to, let's say, five suspects?
14:24See, maybe those suspects didn't fit the description to match the narrative
14:28that obviously you just played white supremacists and say, you know what?
14:33But, um, moms at school board meetings and Catholics, let's go after them now
14:38because we're not going to like where this leads.
14:40I'm not saying that's the case.
14:42Certainly something that needs to be looked into per Mike's discussion.
14:46Somebody's quoting me, Greg.
14:47Yeah, shut up.
14:50Cats, what say you?
14:52Interesting developments, don't you say?
14:55Yeah, but also at the same time, I don't think it's like, oh, this guy turned out to be black.
15:00Therefore, the narrative that this is white supremacy is ridiculous.
15:03It was always ridiculous.
15:05I never understood how he could go out there and make that claim.
15:09The people who were there were there because they believed the election was stolen.
15:12I mean, I feel like they were pretty clear about that.
15:15So, I mean, I don't think that this is like, oh, all of a sudden now this is ridiculous.
15:20It always was.
15:22Yes, it just exposes the fallacy even more nakedly to the American public.
15:28Tyrus, I said nakedly.
15:29Don't you like my Epstein impression?
15:34If I say yes, will you not do it anymore?
15:36Yes.
15:38Okay.
15:39Do you blame, what's his name again?
15:45CNN?
15:46Tapper.
15:46Tapper.
15:48Because he probably heard Brian Cole.
15:51He's like, in his head, he's like, there are no black people named Brian.
15:54What are you talking about?
15:55Brian Cole, Jr.?
15:57Yeah.
15:58You couldn't get any blacker of a last name than that.
16:02The only other ones blacker would be like Green, Washington, or Jefferson.
16:06Really?
16:07Yeah.
16:07Nat King, Cole, ring a bell?
16:08Like, there wasn't all...
16:09How many Morton Coles have you met?
16:12Wait, wait, wait.
16:12Is really Cole a black name?
16:15Yeah.
16:16I did not know that.
16:17You're saying Nat King Cole was black.
16:18Yes.
16:20Not to Jake Tapper.
16:22Not to Jake Cole.
16:23But it's...
16:23Natalie Cole.
16:25There you go.
16:25But they're related, so that's still one.
16:28You didn't even try on that one.
16:29Yeah.
16:30But this whole thing, it's not surprising that this guy slipped through the cracks or was...
16:37He was not the target.
16:38The target was always President Trump.
16:40The investigation.
16:42They hired a movie production company to get President Trump.
16:48So any lanes that didn't lead to Trumpville, they were not interested in.
16:53They weren't interested in truth.
16:54They weren't interested in getting to the bottom of it.
16:56They thought this was the perfect way to get rid of Trump.
17:00So that's what the investigation was going to.
17:02Then, when it started to go off and look like, oh, there was this one individual.
17:07Wait, brothers can't like President Trump or hate.
17:10It's irrelevant.
17:11But they weren't interested in investigation.
17:13The whole thing has always been, how do we get rid of Trump?
17:16And they thought, Pelosi and them, thought this was their best gift ever.
17:20Now, it makes sense why you didn't call the guards in.
17:22Why it makes sense you didn't...
17:24You wanted to get as much exposure.
17:26Oh, we've got him.
17:26We've got him.
17:27So that's why this was all pushed aside, because there was no...
17:30It only worked if it went to Trump.
17:32How soon...
17:33I know it's already happening, and I'm going to resist it.
17:36The conspiracy, is this the actual guy?
17:40Right.
17:40Is he just the stooge that is, you know, blah, blah, blah.
17:43It's like, just focus on what's in front of you, I always say.
17:48That's already started, though.
17:49The conspiracy you just talked about, I've already heard that.
17:51Yeah.
17:52I already created one.
17:53I'm saying you're behind the whole thing.
17:55Are you aware that your glasses are on your shoulder?
17:57Yes.
17:57Okay.
17:59That's where Jeffrey Epstein used to keep them.
18:01Remember the deposition?
18:02The deposition, he's like this.
18:03Just trying to help.
18:06And we're back here.
18:07Yeah.
18:07Yeah.
18:08All right.
18:09Up next, Madhouse Madness.
18:11You guys are right.
18:12It's like this the whole time.
18:13No way, hey, hey, it's video of the day.
18:24She just can't stop with her crackpot slop.
18:27Our video of the day comes from Rachel Maddow, who recently criticized U.S. military strikes
18:31on drug boats and made some wild predictions about Hegseth's future.
18:35Watch.
18:37It's a catastrophe.
18:38I think Pete Hegseth, it's impossible to imagine that he survives this as Secretary of Defense.
18:42I think he must resign, and I think Republicans will ask for that, ultimately, once they investigate
18:46this.
18:47But this is a disaster for this generation of people serving in the United States military.
18:52And that is a tragedy more than a farce.
18:55Wow.
18:56Some hyperbole.
18:57It's a tragedy more than a farce.
18:59No, you know what the farce is?
19:00That you're still giving any commentary on TV that isn't prefaced with a warning that says,
19:05hey, this lady's bat-*** crazy.
19:10That's all they need to do.
19:11Then she visited a dying talk show to rant about Putin and Trump.
19:21Russia is a podunk country run by a guy who's never going to leave until he dies.
19:25The idea that we work for him, that we work for them, is so humiliating and is such an
19:32abject failure on the part of Trump in terms of his weakness.
19:36I don't know what Putin has on him, but he works for Putin, and it's an embarrassment to
19:41this country.
19:42He works for Putin.
19:43It's like she's stuck in 2015 and can't get out.
19:46What is she going to warn us about next?
19:48The Y2K virus?
19:51She's going to tell us about a fun new show called Survivor?
19:55I'd say this chick needs a break, but she only works one day a week, and the rest of
19:59the time, she spends on MySpace.
20:03Isn't that cute?
20:05Isn't that cute?
20:06So, Todd, get this.
20:08You know, she works one day a week.
20:10She makes $25 million a year, not including other stuff.
20:15One day a week.
20:15That's got to drive you nuts.
20:17You're up every morning at, like, what, 1 a.m.?
20:19Yes.
20:19You drive here.
20:21Nobody watches your show.
20:24Incorrect.
20:25Let's take a poll of the audience.
20:27Who watches my show?
20:31That's reflective of the numbers.
20:33I'm so glad you brought your family here today.
20:35Thanks, Mom.
20:37Hi.
20:38What is going, like, okay, why is she still pushing this stuff?
20:43She must still believe it.
20:44I liken this to the following analogy.
20:49Okay.
20:50So, picture a dorky guy in high school.
20:53Okay.
20:54Okay.
20:54Todd Pira.
20:54Yeah.
20:55Got it.
20:55Literally could not have made that any easier for everybody here on set.
21:00Okay.
21:00Okay.
21:01Picture he has a crush on some really, really hot gal.
21:04Okay.
21:05Okay.
21:05Time passes.
21:06He is still dorky as he gets older.
21:09But that hot chick, still hot, married to a billionaire.
21:13It was a fantasy then.
21:16It's an even more ridiculous fantasy now because the facts are completely against you now.
21:23The facts that she has to go up against.
21:25Oh, I don't know.
21:26When it comes to Ukraine, here's a guy who has signed military pacts with Ukraine, whereby
21:33we are going to sell the Europeans the equipment that the Ukraines can use to arm themselves.
21:39He's gotten all those European countries to completely triple, quadruple the amount that
21:45they contribute in their defense budgets with regard to NATO.
21:49That is not somebody who is cowering and working for Putin.
21:53They're never going to.
21:54Yes.
21:55Tyrus, do you have a picture of somebody dorky in your mind right now from high school?
21:59I'm just, he went to get the girl, but I guess she's from Ukraine.
22:04They're still stuck on the analogy, Todd.
22:06But you're making a good point.
22:07I was following you.
22:10You're basically saying the guy is helping Ukraine fight Russia.
22:14Yes.
22:15So he's obviously not working for Russia.
22:16But the problem is, and you've talked about this in the past, when you look at the show
22:20that she's on, she went on Stephen Colbert, look at her own show.
22:23It is therapy for the left.
22:25They do not care about what is put out there, even though the facts completely shoot down
22:30their point.
22:31Kat, do you think this is like a sunk cost fallacy that she's put so much time in this belief?
22:37My analogy would be that this is her poop jokes.
22:41Oh.
22:43Like, you know how you can't stop?
22:45I can't stop with the poop jokes.
22:46And you're in so deep, and no matter how many people tell you it's disgusting.
22:50I can't stop.
22:51It almost makes you want to do it more.
22:52Yes, exactly.
22:53If only I could come up with a poop joke now.
22:57Yeah.
22:57So I do think it's a sunk cost fallacy.
23:00I also think because she's, maybe it's just me, but I do see a little cognitive dissonance
23:05between the clips here.
23:07Because, you know, everybody knows I'm someone who's not interventionist.
23:11I'm hesitant and believing the military-industrial complex.
23:14She's kind of trying to present herself this way while also doing the Putin thing, which
23:20is the exact thing that was not just used against Trump, but used to silence people like
23:25myself and like Trump who were critical or had questions about United States involvement
23:30in Ukraine and the level of involvement in Ukraine and the level of money in Ukraine
23:33and things we're hearing about Ukraine and so on and so forth.
23:35That was used to silence that anti-war school of thought.
23:39So it does kind of feel like she's playing both sides without even realizing it.
23:43So I don't think that she really even thinks about it anymore.
23:46I think that she is in so deep.
23:48Imagine what it would mean for her to let it go.
23:50Yeah, it's a lot.
23:51And by the way, Kat, I don't think she plays both sides.
23:56Tyrus.
24:00Tyrus, you know what kills me?
24:02Tyrus is the amount of hyperbole.
24:06Okay, so in both those segments, she uses so much hyperbole.
24:09This is the worst.
24:10This is a tragedy.
24:11I cannot imagine Hegseth not having to resign.
24:16Like, at a certain point, do you realize that using hyperbole works against you because
24:22you end up looking stupid?
24:23Using the word hyperbole is hyperbole.
24:26Let's just all call it what it is.
24:31Bulls**t.
24:31Yeah.
24:32You're a bulls**t artist.
24:34Like, you just bulls**t.
24:37Pete Hegseth is living his best life.
24:40He's on South Park.
24:42He couldn't...
24:43I cannot wait to get made fun of one day at South Park.
24:46What do I got to do, South Park, to piss you guys off?
24:49Yeah.
24:49Okay?
24:50Because he is doing the job that he has always wanted.
24:55He's doing it at a high level.
24:57And the hate is so deep.
25:00They have no choice.
25:02She has been in this relationship with evil Trump.
25:05She has to see it through.
25:08They have to see it through.
25:09They're so full of s**t.
25:11And they push so much bulls**t that that's all they know.
25:15Yeah.
25:15And here's the thing.
25:16You don't have to prepare.
25:18Yeah.
25:19You don't have to go on any show.
25:20It doesn't matter what it is.
25:22It's like me with poop jokes.
25:22It's the worst thing ever.
25:23Trump's going to do this.
25:24Trump's going to do that.
25:25Trump's going to do that.
25:26What worst thing has happened yet from Trump?
25:29Except I always was proud to pay $9.87 for my eggs.
25:35And then that son of a b**ch came in, took it away.
25:38Now I'm paying like $2.56 for my eggs.
25:41I am outraged.
25:42This marked my words.
25:44Trump is going to have to resign for this.
25:46He's going to have to step down for the way he's devalued America's backbone, the egg.
25:52The egg?
25:54Mikey.
25:55Yeah.
25:57What say you?
25:59I'll tell you what I say.
26:00I say two things.
26:01To Todd's point, because I was listening.
26:03Thanks, Mike.
26:04I'll touch your arm.
26:05Yeah, thank you.
26:07You guys need a commercial break?
26:08Don't ever do that again.
26:11You started.
26:12But to Todd's point about how all Maddow is doing is playing to the people who keep her employed, right?
26:20When you played that clip of her talking to Colbert, as soon as she said that, that, you know, Trump works for Putin and it's an embarrassment for the nation, you cut off the clip.
26:29But after that, the crowd erupted in applause and roaring approval, right?
26:34So she knows what she's doing, right?
26:36Yeah.
26:36And so then the other point is, the thing I find most disgusting is in her comments about Hegseth, her comments about the situation in the Caribbean and targeting these narco-traffickers, she said that, oh, my God, she says that the biggest tragedy is what it's doing to our military and to our troops and putting them in the line of fire.
26:57She doesn't give a f*** about the troops.
27:00No.
27:00And so to your point, it's bulls**t.
27:05Well, she does insofar as it helps her politically.
27:09That's true.
27:10Okay.
27:10Yes.
27:11That caveat.
27:12But anyway, that's what I think.
27:13All right.
27:14We must move on.
27:15What an exciting show, despite Mike Baker.
27:19Up next, the Peace Prez.
27:22Donald Trump.
27:24We don't deserve him.
27:26We don't deserve him.
27:30Trump takes over the lease on the Institute of Peace.
27:35After ending several wars, Trump has renamed the U.S. Institute of Peace after himself.
27:43It's now the Donald J. Trump Institute of Peace.
27:47In honor of the greatest dealmaker in our nation's history, it'll be the first nonprofit think tank to offer blackjack slots and live entertainment six nights a week.
27:57Like, Tyrus, it's kind of great because he was slashing the funding, which was pissing off the Dems.
28:05So then he names it after himself.
28:07Now they're going to want to close it down.
28:10He is living rent-free in their little heads.
28:13Yeah.
28:14This is a great move.
28:15This is a great man move.
28:17Like, I could not be prouder of this move, and I would have done the same thing.
28:21And I would have went a step further.
28:22I would have had likenesses of me throughout the building.
28:26It would have been statues of me, videos of me just saying, that's me, that's me.
28:32The ringtone would be me saying, good morning, everyone.
28:35Answer your phone.
28:36Like, I would, it would be completely trumped out.
28:38It would be tyrussed out.
28:40Their chairs would be little ones of me.
28:41Like, they would, they would really, I would really give them a reason to dislike me.
28:46Yeah.
28:46I think this was, this was great.
28:47They didn't want to cooperate.
28:48And, um, and since they can't, he can't get a Nobel Peace Prize, he can't, I don't know
28:53how many wars he's got to end, or, or do things to make things better.
28:57So, you know what?
28:58Just start naming s**t.
28:59Do it.
29:00Yes.
29:00You know what, this, Kat, here's an idea.
29:03Trump should come out against himself.
29:07He won't.
29:08That's, no, but if he comes out against himself, then all of his critics will have to come out
29:13against that.
29:15Yeah.
29:15I, I, no, but like, yeah, that, doesn't that make sense?
29:26I mean, not, I mean, what is he going to do?
29:28Get up, get up in front of the podium and be like, I hate myself.
29:31Yes.
29:33Half the room's head would explode.
29:34And that's it?
29:34And then he says, thank you, everyone.
29:35Good night.
29:38Um, uh, yeah, I, listen, I do wonder what's going to ha, what's going to happen.
29:42Cause he didn't cut all the funding and I feel like after you give something, it's
29:45name, you have to pay child support, right?
29:47Yeah.
29:49That is correct.
29:55Mike, is there anything that you want named after you?
30:00No.
30:01Is there nothing that I don't want named after me?
30:03Is there like a black site somewhere and.
30:05Yeah, you know, that's actually really good.
30:07Actually, I mean, Gitmo.
30:08Yeah.
30:09Um, if they would name that after me or one of our training facilities.
30:12Uh, yeah, I would, I would be delighted.
30:15Look, he was given, uh, today he was given the FIFA prize.
30:20Yes.
30:20Uh, which was a big, a big statue trophy type thing and a medal, which he actually wore
30:26during.
30:27So my theory is he doesn't work for Putin.
30:29I think he works for Matt and Trey over at South Park.
30:32Yeah.
30:32Right.
30:33Because if you've watched the season of, uh, there's nothing that he can't do at this
30:39point that won't please those two guys over at South Park because it is, he's writing the
30:44show for them.
30:45Yeah.
30:45And I, and I love it because he knows what he's doing.
30:48It's not like he's doing this, uh, you know, without being aware.
30:51Do you ever, do you watch anything else besides South Park?
30:55No.
30:55Because it seems to me.
30:56No, that's all we watch.
30:57You know more about South Park than you know about your actual area of expertise.
31:01No.
31:02Well, that, that, I have to admit, you have to know your limitations and you're right about
31:06that.
31:07Yeah.
31:08Yeah.
31:08Todd, uh, will anything ever be named after you?
31:12Maybe like, I don't know, like a rest stop in some kind of Jersey, Jersey, Jersey rest
31:18stops are named after Bon Jovi, Tony Soprano, James Gandolfini.
31:21It's big.
31:22I would be honored if they did that.
31:24I'm settling for something low.
31:26What I want the conference room where you are forced to prepare your show.
31:29Oh, the Todd Pyro center for early morning journalistic excellence.
31:34That's what I want.
31:35I would like it to have, you're missing one word, the memorial.
31:39Stop it.
31:41All right, that's well.
31:44You know what this show needs?
31:46He was so young and almost talented.
31:49Stop it.
31:50You know what?
31:50He was never the same after the Ukrainian girl left him.
31:54For that billionaire.
31:56I tell you what, Greg, talk to me.
31:58I can make that happen.
31:59You're taking my time here.
32:00You know what this show needs?
32:01What?
32:02Ready to see Greg get upset?
32:04Yeah.
32:04You guys hungry?
32:04Sean needs a little bit of red meat.
32:06Yeah, here we go.
32:07You ready?
32:08Oh, boy.
32:08Yeah.
32:09If you think, America, that the naming of this building is a big F you to the D.C. establishment
32:14class, there's a proposal out there to rename Dulles Airport Donald J. Trump Airport.
32:22Picture this.
32:22All those D.C. swamp creatures forced to fly into Donald Trump Airport just to do their
32:30job.
32:30Oh, wait, no.
32:31You're welcome, Gutfeld.
32:40I almost missed the chair.
32:43You're welcome, Gutfeld.
32:47Thank you, Todd.
32:48Don't you have any pride?
32:50No.
32:50You're my family.
32:52Coming up, America's most fun cities.
32:54Most fun cities in America, Kat.
33:04This is another stupid story from Wallet Hub.
33:08What is Wallet Hub?
33:09But anyway, they rank the American cities for the most fun.
33:13Fifth place, New Orleans.
33:14Fourth, Atlanta.
33:15Third, Miami.
33:15Second, Orlando.
33:17And get this.
33:17In first place, Las Vegas.
33:20What is it with Wallet Hub in Las Vegas?
33:22Last week, it was sinful cities.
33:24Las Vegas.
33:25What's with Wallet Hub?
33:27I don't know.
33:28I don't like them.
33:29Yeah.
33:29Las Vegas is not fun.
33:31No, it's not fun.
33:32It's like if a bathroom selfie were a city.
33:34Yes.
33:34You know, it's like very like, but it's not as good as it looks.
33:37No, there's something creepy about this whole thing.
33:40Mike, how many fun?
33:41You can do 20 hours there, and then you've got to leave.
33:43Yeah, you've got to leave.
33:44You know, I was just wondering, Mike, please, of those five cities, can you name the number
33:48of people you've killed in each one?
33:52Yeah, but we're two minutes heavy on the show.
33:54Yeah.
33:54So it's going to take a while.
33:56Look, it looks like they just threw out the most obvious names of cities, right?
34:01You could have come up with that without doing a survey.
34:03You could say, I wonder how I throw these cities.
34:05There's no surprises on there.
34:07I would argue that Boise, Idaho should be at least somewhere in the top five.
34:11You know, I'm going to be out there in May.
34:14In May.
34:14Yes, you will be.
34:15Lampa?
34:17Nampa.
34:17Nampa.
34:18Yeah, but you're staying at our house.
34:20I'm looking forward to it.
34:21I am not staying at your house.
34:22I've got matching shorty robes.
34:23Oh, geez.
34:24All right.
34:26You know, a shorty robe to me is just a regular robe.
34:29Todd.
34:30Yeah.
34:30Is there anything not on the list that should be there?
34:33I mean, look at the top five.
34:35They're all in warm weather.
34:36Picture yourself here today.
34:37There's a reason New York's not at the top of the list.
34:39It's cold today.
34:41Like, really, really cold.
34:42Also, with the exception of this audience, because you guys are the best, the people that
34:45come to New York City, oftentimes a lot of families.
34:49Not as fun.
34:49They want to visit the Empire State Building, maybe the M&M store.
34:52The folks going to Vegas are, you know, only fan models who are trying to break up your
34:57marriage.
34:58Like, and that was actually a line from the Bible.
35:01Thessalonians.
35:02Yeah, look it up.
35:02I had no idea.
35:04Tyrus, what do you make of this?
35:07Of him?
35:08Oh, yeah.
35:10I think you just said Thessalonians is a chapter in the Bible.
35:13Yeah, he's all over the place today.
35:16Bus stops and Bibles is a hero experience.
35:18It's the experience.
35:19Listen, fun.
35:20What is fun, first of all?
35:22Right.
35:23What is your fun?
35:25You know, if you, and it's funny that all the cities they named is also a great place
35:29to get robbed and mugged right now.
35:31Like, they don't, there's no, they're not fun.
35:33Fun for what?
35:35Standing in long lines, everyone being rude to you, pollution, you know, everyone around
35:41is getting, I mean, fun as you get older changes.
35:45Yes.
35:45Fun, to me, is quiet.
35:47Fun is staying home.
35:49Yeah.
35:49It's like, yeah, I live in a hotel.
35:51So when I'm at home, like, hey, let's go have fun.
35:53Let's go to an island that has a hotel on it.
35:57Yeah.
35:58I'm like, great.
36:00Yeah.
36:00Yeah, no, fun, we don't know what fun is.
36:02That's why these, these things are a joke.
36:04What is fun?
36:05Yeah.
36:05You know, you have to bring the fun wherever you go.
36:08So true.
36:09It really is.
36:10It is true.
36:10Shut up.
36:11Up next, viewer mail.
36:19Yep.
36:20You're watching Mailing It In.
36:25What TV game show would you be really good at, Mike?
36:31You know, I would have to go with Password.
36:37What?
36:37Is that still on?
36:38I don't know.
36:39I don't know.
36:39Why?
36:40Because you look like Alan Ludden?
36:41Yeah.
36:42See, you knew what I was talking about.
36:44I like the old timey game shows.
36:46Yeah.
36:46So I would be good at that.
36:47I like Joker's Wild.
36:48What about you?
36:51I could see you on a game show.
36:53Yeah.
36:53I couldn't see me as a contestant, but hosting, yeah.
36:56I honestly think I'd be an amazing host, literally, of any game show.
37:00Contestant, not so much.
37:01Really?
37:02Yeah.
37:02I'm just being honest.
37:02Like, that wasn't a funny answer.
37:04No.
37:04No.
37:05But, you know, why change?
37:06Why change?
37:10Just give me one of those skinny mics and let me go to town, brother.
37:15Yeah.
37:15You are much like Gene Rayburn.
37:17Tyrus?
37:18Oh, man.
37:19Game shows.
37:19I guess, man, I guess the classic.
37:21I'd probably want to do Wheel of Fortune.
37:22That'd be fun.
37:22Yeah.
37:23That's a good one.
37:24Solve the puzzle.
37:24Yeah.
37:25I don't like to, like, all you got to do is just basically look at people, remember names
37:28and stare at people.
37:30Yeah.
37:30Yeah.
37:30I just, I think I want the original host.
37:33Pat Sajak, I think.
37:35What about you, Kat?
37:36I would love to be on Dancing with the Stars because I'm such a bad dancer, like, so bad that
37:42I feel like America would watch and wonder if there was, like, something wrong.
37:44And then maybe that could take me to, like, the top seven.
37:49Yeah.
37:50Yeah.
37:50You know, I'm going to have to go with the classic Love Connection.
37:54Do you remember Love Connection?
37:54Oh, yeah.
37:55I know I could do this really well.
37:58Remember?
37:59Two and two?
37:59No.
38:00We'll be back in two minutes and two seconds.
38:02Don't look at me like I know what you're talking about.
38:04True story.
38:05I was asked to be on Love Connection, but I was with the outfit, so I couldn't do it.
38:09No.
38:10I do not.
38:11When did you and the outfit break up?
38:13So when you were asked to be on, did you know the chick who was going to be on?
38:17No.
38:18No, they don't tell you that.
38:19Oh, really?
38:19Yeah.
38:20Wow.
38:20That's a great story.
38:21Yeah.
38:23I'll be right back.
38:24I'll be right back.
38:54With this current shop.
38:55.
38:56But I think that I...
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