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  • 28 minutes ago
Would I Lie To You S19E04

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😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00MUSIC
00:24Good evening and welcome to Would I Light You,
00:27a show with unvarnished truths and highly polished lies.
00:30On Lee Mack's team tonight,
00:32from this morning to this evening,
00:34is Josie Gibson.
00:39And the queen of comedy herself,
00:41Jo Brand.
00:46And on David Mitchell's team tonight,
00:48children's author and stand-up comic,
00:50it's Alastair Beckett King.
00:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:55And singer, actress and West End star,
00:58Beverly Knight.
00:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:04We begin with round one, Home Truths,
01:06where our panellists read out a statement from the card in front of them.
01:09To make things harder, they've never seen the card before,
01:12they have no idea what they'll be faced with.
01:15It's up to the opposing team to sort the fact from the fiction.
01:19And Josie, your first up.
01:21Right, OK.
01:22I once rode my horse to the post office,
01:25but when I came out, he'd been given a parking ticket.
01:28LAUGHTER
01:29David's team.
01:30Where did this happen?
01:31This happened in my local village, in Aranacton,
01:34and I was actually in a horse and cart.
01:36And when was this?
01:38This was about...
01:391874!
01:40LAUGHTER
01:41This was 2009.
01:46Have you traded the horse in, now you're on TV?
01:49It's a bit...
01:50It's a bit sensitive, cos he died.
01:52Oh!
01:53Oh, Alastair.
01:54That's...
01:55That's your fault, Alastair.
01:56I know.
01:57LAUGHTER
01:58And how far was the post office from home?
02:01About a 25-minute drive.
02:03It's not too far, it's only a few miles.
02:05You can't go too far on a cart.
02:06Mm-hm.
02:07It would only be, like, five minutes in a car,
02:09but on a cart...
02:10Sorry?
02:11It's about 25 minutes.
02:12Can I just ask you, only five minutes in a car,
02:15but on a car, it's...
02:17LAUGHTER
02:18It would only be a five-minute drive in a car.
02:20Yes.
02:21Right.
02:22On a cart.
02:23Cart?
02:24A cart.
02:25Please try and stress the T just a little bit more.
02:26Oh, sorry.
02:27On a horse and cart...
02:28Yes.
02:29Er, it took a little bit longer.
02:32So you had a cart...
02:34LAUGHTER
02:37What part of the horse was the ticket on?
02:41It...
02:42It wasn't, um, on the horse as such,
02:44it was actually on the cart.
02:46LAUGHTER
02:47And it's a big industry these days, Horton Cart's training.
02:50Horton Cart is hard to say.
02:52Horton...
02:53Yes, sir.
02:54Is Horton...
02:55Is horse...
02:56LAUGHTER
02:57Just so you know, she was told to pronounce the T,
03:00you might want to drop them when they don't exist.
03:02LAUGHTER
03:03Right.
03:04Previously, you've never got a ticket?
03:06Never, no.
03:07No.
03:08I will just say, normally, I do put the horse in the car park,
03:11but...
03:12LAUGHTER
03:13Sorry, what's his registration number for the business?
03:15LAUGHTER
03:16J-E-T, Jet, his name was.
03:18Yeah, but this time, I parked him on the double yellow lines
03:21outside the post office.
03:23So what did you do with the ticket?
03:24Did you appeal?
03:25I basically just ignored it.
03:27Oh!
03:28Yeah.
03:29And what happened?
03:30Nothing happened.
03:31Well, of course, nothing happened.
03:32Nothing happened.
03:33But how could it?
03:34Because don't...
03:35Usually, they've got the car register.
03:37Well, they're going to write some cart.
03:39LAUGHTER
03:40It's untraceable.
03:41No, you've got to put a registration number
03:43on the back of a horse and cart.
03:45Oh, do you?
03:46Yeah.
03:47Paint a picture of Jet the horse.
03:49The dead horse.
03:50So, Jet...
03:51Oh!
03:52Sorry, what?
03:53Wow.
03:54I'm glad you didn't say you went to the post office with your mother.
03:57He'd have been just as harmless.
03:58LAUGHTER
04:00But Jet was a very special horse.
04:03He was obviously Jet Black.
04:04He did like a mare.
04:06He did like a mare, so you had to be careful.
04:08When you went past the mares field, you had to be really, really careful.
04:11That is very awkward if you're in a horse and cart on the retic.
04:14LAUGHTER
04:15She's here.
04:17LAUGHTER
04:18You're like a free rocket horse, wouldn't they?
04:20It'd be great.
04:21LAUGHTER
04:22What do you think?
04:23Is she telling the truth?
04:24I think she has knowledge of horses.
04:26Yeah.
04:27I think she may have had a horse in her life
04:29who has subsequently passed away.
04:30I believe that.
04:31Must you keep banging on?
04:33LAUGHTER
04:35When you're getting the number plate for a cart,
04:38what's it say?
04:39Does it just say horse?
04:41LAUGHTER
04:42You know when you buy, like, a personalised licence plate?
04:45Mm-hm.
04:46You can do that for a cart.
04:47So ours was Jet 2.
04:49LAUGHTER
04:50Oh, my God.
04:51Was there another one that died as well?
04:53LAUGHTER
04:54We called him Jet 2 after the airline.
04:57LAUGHTER
04:58Oh.
04:59Oh, I see.
05:00Should have called him Virgin for when he's going past the mares.
05:03LAUGHTER
05:04Right.
05:05What do you think?
05:06Time to decide.
05:08I think there's a whole bunch of truth,
05:11but the central thing I don't think is true.
05:14What do you think?
05:15I think it's true.
05:16You think so?
05:17You think it's true?
05:18Oh, you say, I completely believed it,
05:19until the thing about the number plate.
05:21LAUGHTER
05:22It's on you.
05:23I think it's a lie.
05:25OK.
05:26They think it's a lie.
05:27Josie, was it a lie or were you telling the truth?
05:30I can confirm that it was a...
05:34..lie.
05:36Oh!
05:37APPLAUSE
05:39Yes, it's a lie.
05:41Josie's horse didn't get a parking ticket.
05:44APPLAUSE
05:45Alistair, you're next.
05:47For several years, I regularly wore a wizard's hat.
05:52LAUGHTER
05:53Please do.
05:54LAUGHTER
05:55Shall we just kick off with why?
05:58Oh, I was going to say, is that a euphemism?
06:01LAUGHTER
06:02For what?
06:03LAUGHTER
06:04What for?
06:05LAUGHTER
06:07LAUGHTER
06:09LAUGHTER
06:11LAUGHTER
06:12I'm joking!
06:15No, it isn't.
06:16LAUGHTER
06:19I know, but she believed me, so go with it.
06:21LAUGHTER
06:23You wore a wizard's hat?
06:25I wore a wizard's hat for several years.
06:26The start, age and the end age.
06:2818, 19.
06:29Oh.
06:30I was a teenager.
06:31Awkward old...
06:32Oh, I thought you were going to say five.
06:3318.
06:3418, 19 into my early 20s.
06:36Did you make it?
06:37I made it, yes.
06:38From what?
06:39Fabric.
06:40What kind of fabric?
06:41LAUGHTER
06:42Fabric.
06:43It didn't mean many things.
06:44Cotton.
06:45Well, I would say rubber or plastic, if you're wearing it in the rain.
06:49I suppose the practicalities of making it, if you're sewing up rubber.
06:53I had to repair my girlfriend the other day.
06:55LAUGHTER
06:56Nailing it through the...
06:59Were you one of these re-enactors?
07:03No.
07:04No, fiercely no.
07:05I can't walk past re-enactors without them trying to lure me over
07:08because of my general appearance.
07:10And I'm not interested in actual history at all.
07:12I'm interested in wizards.
07:14To be fair, to be a re-enactor in a wizard's hat,
07:17there would have to be a historical event that had involved wizards.
07:20LAUGHTER
07:21You'd be amazed there aren't that many.
07:23No.
07:24Battle of Hastings, number of wizards present?
07:26Zero.
07:27Zero.
07:28How would people react to you when they saw you in the street, Alistair?
07:32Largely negatively.
07:33White van driving men were not enthusiasts for the...
07:37LAUGHTER
07:38They would say, um, things like,
07:41Oh, the circus is in town.
07:43Which is...
07:44I know.
07:45Cos there's no wizards in the circus.
07:46I know.
07:47It doesn't make sense, but by the time I've said that,
07:49they've gone.
07:50They're away.
07:51A white van driver would not go,
07:54Oh, there's a circus in town.
07:56LAUGHTER
07:57They would use one word only.
07:59LAUGHTER
08:00And we're all thinking it.
08:02LAUGHTER
08:03I'm paraphrasing.
08:04Now, Alistair, while all this was going on,
08:06what did your girlfriend make of it?
08:08She, uh, hated the wizard's hat.
08:11Well, that was my polite way of inquiring whether you had a partner
08:14and you've surprised me.
08:16LAUGHTER
08:21She wasn't enthusiastic about the head wear.
08:23And you were adamant that you were going to stick with it, though?
08:25I stuck with it until it became, I would say, morally untenable
08:29to wear the hat.
08:30Morally?
08:31Morally.
08:32Why morally?
08:33Towards the end of the hat era, I had, uh, a neighbour
08:37who was, uh, a short guy, not a tall guy.
08:40And I'm, uh, I'm pretty tall.
08:42The image we created together...
08:45LAUGHTER
08:46..in the streets, it had, uh, a Middle-earthian vibe.
08:51LAUGHTER
08:52Like he was looking for a ring.
08:55LAUGHTER
08:57Did, um, did the hat give you any powers?
09:01LAUGHTER
09:04I think we know the answer to that, don't we?
09:07LAUGHTER
09:08Do you think he's telling the truth?
09:09I think he's, um...
09:10Oh, you look...
09:11You look like a lizard...
09:12A wizard.
09:13LAUGHTER
09:14APPLAUSE
09:16Sorry, sorry, yes.
09:19I am going to cry myself to sleep underneath a lightbulb tonight.
09:23I'm so sorry!
09:25LAUGHTER
09:26Joe, what do you reckon?
09:27I think none of it is convincing, which is why I think it's true.
09:31LAUGHTER
09:32Ah!
09:33Interesting.
09:34OK, I'll say it's true.
09:35OK, they're saying true, Alistair.
09:37Was it true, or was it a lie?
09:39It was...the truth.
09:41APPLAUSE
09:42Yes, it's true.
09:46It's true, Alistair used to wear a wizard's hat.
09:49APPLAUSE
09:50Er, Beverly, you're next.
09:52For my 40th birthday, David Bowie gave me 40 boxes of tea bags.
09:59LAUGHTER
10:00You look about 56.
10:01Rude!
10:02You don't look 40.
10:03No.
10:04So, what did David Bowie give you?
10:0540 boxes of tea bags.
10:06Were you good friends with David Bowie?
10:07Not a good friend, but we talked a lot.
10:21Would he just ring you up out of the blue and go, are you drinking the tea?
10:24LAUGHTER
10:26I'm drinking the tea.
10:29That's all you ever do.
10:32Did he wrap the tea up like it was a birthday present?
10:35Did she just got the boxes?
10:37Was there a note?
10:39A card or a note? What did the card say?
10:42I think you'd like these Uncle Dee.
10:45Sounds a bit sinister.
10:48LAUGHTER
10:51Did you have a meeting, Jo?
10:53Yeah.
10:54Which circumstances?
10:56Sleeping with him.
10:57LAUGHTER
10:59Moving on.
11:00I think you'll like this Uncle Dee.
11:03LAUGHTER
11:05What were the flavours, if you don't mind me asking?
11:08So, English breakfast, straight up.
11:10Classic.
11:11Earl Grey.
11:12Yuck.
11:13Green.
11:14What?
11:15It was Earl Grey that made me go, yeah.
11:17Oh, really?
11:18I don't like Earl Grey.
11:19Some people like it, but I don't.
11:21You know, it's not the normal kind, is it?
11:23LAUGHTER
11:26What are you thinking, Jo?
11:27Could it be true?
11:28Erm, yeah, I think it is true.
11:30Josie, what do you think?
11:32I think, because you know so much detail about David,
11:35I think you are definitely telling the truth.
11:37Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
11:38I don't think there was that much detail about him,
11:40other than David knows that she likes tea,
11:42which she could be making up.
11:44In fact, is, if she's lying.
11:46Oh, God.
11:48LAUGHTER
11:49Oh, now I'm thinking.
11:52LAUGHTER
11:54It's good that you've started.
11:56LAUGHTER
11:58What's your team going to say, Lee?
12:01If you two think it's true, we'll go with true.
12:03Do you think it's true, Josie?
12:05I do, yeah.
12:06Well, then we'll say true.
12:07OK, they're saying it's true.
12:08Beverly, was it true?
12:10Or was it a lie?
12:12I can confirm...
12:14It was a lie!
12:16Oh, my God, she's brilliant!
12:18Oh, sorry!
12:20Yes, it's a lie.
12:22Beverly wasn't gifted tea bags by David Bowie.
12:26Our next round is called This Is My,
12:28where we bring on a mystery guest
12:30who has a close connection to one of our panellists.
12:32This week, each of Lee's team will claim it's them
12:34that has the genuine connection to the guest.
12:36It's up to David's team to spot who's telling the truth.
12:39So, please welcome this week's special guest, Tamsin.
12:42APPLAUSE
12:49So, Jo, what is Tamsin to you?
12:53Well, this is Tamsin, and when she got married,
12:56I mistook her husband for her dad.
12:59LAUGHTER
13:00Right, Josie, how do you know Tamsin?
13:03Um, this is Tamsin, and because of me,
13:06she never got to go to an Oscars party.
13:08LAUGHTER
13:09And finally, Lee, your relationship with Tamsin.
13:13This is Tamsin.
13:14She's the GP who caught me using her stethoscope
13:18to listen through the walls of her surgery.
13:22LAUGHTER
13:24So, there we have it.
13:25David's team, where will you begin?
13:27All right, Jo.
13:28David, why were you at this wedding?
13:30I wasn't attending the wedding.
13:32I was staying in the hotel where the wedding was.
13:36Oh, right.
13:37And so, I was asked by someone at the wedding
13:41if I could have my picture taken with the bride and groom.
13:47Yeah.
13:48Where are we, Jo?
13:49In kind of North Kent-ish.
13:52And what were you doing there?
13:53Were you having a little break?
13:55I was having a break and an affair.
13:58LAUGHTER
14:00So, how aged was the husband that you thought,
14:03no, he can't be the groom, he must be the father?
14:06Like, 20 years older, 30 years older to me.
14:11So, I... I said to him,
14:13is this, like, your first daughter to get married
14:17or just something to...?
14:18Oh!
14:19I know, just to sort of get the conversation going.
14:22LAUGHTER
14:23And there was kind of, like, quite an embarrassed silence.
14:27LAUGHTER
14:28And then...
14:29And then someone said to me,
14:31I saw a husband out of the side of their mouth.
14:33How did Tamsin respond?
14:35He looked embarrassed, she looked slightly angry,
14:39if I'm honest.
14:40LAUGHTER
14:41Describe the scene of this photograph.
14:43People sitting round, drinking...
14:46But this is after the meal and the speeches,
14:48and not in the room where the tables have been.
14:50David, I didn't get a rundown of the order of their wedding.
14:54I'm sorry to press you.
14:56I'm only doing it just in case you're lying.
14:59LAUGHTER
15:01If you were just telling me this story under other circumstances,
15:04I wouldn't be pushing for this detail.
15:06Do you know what, David?
15:07I think you would.
15:08LAUGHTER
15:09I've seen you round my house having a cup of tea
15:11and this kind of chat.
15:13LAUGHTER
15:14I mowed the lawn yesterday.
15:15Ah, OK.
15:16Prove it.
15:17LAUGHTER
15:19Did you make it up?
15:21Did you leave on good terms?
15:23Well, I apologised, yes.
15:25Um, but...
15:26Did you offer tickets to one of your shows?
15:28No, cos I always view that as more of a punishment for young people.
15:32LAUGHTER
15:33How long ago was this?
15:35Three or four years ago.
15:37And would you say you've stayed in touch with Tamsin since then?
15:40What do you think?
15:42LAUGHTER
15:43I just think she would be very hard to track down for this programme.
15:45Wow.
15:46All you'd need is the date you were at the hotel,
15:48and just ring the hotel, there was a wedding on, remember?
15:50No, that's pretty impressive, yeah, I'm sorry.
15:53LAUGHTER
15:54How do you do it?
15:56APPLAUSE
15:57Well, I think, from what Lee says,
16:00the story about the GP and the stethoscope's looking less like it.
16:03LAUGHTER
16:05Right, who are you going to quiz next?
16:07OK, we'll go to Josie, shall we, next?
16:10Remind us, Josie.
16:11Uh, because of me, Tamsin never got to go to an Oscars party.
16:16What Oscars party would she otherwise have gone to?
16:19It was Elton John's Oscars party.
16:21That's quite a big Oscars party.
16:23Oh, it was a big deal.
16:24It was a big deal.
16:25Basically, the only reason Tamsin took that job was to go.
16:30What was that job?
16:31I was working for This Morning.
16:33Right.
16:34And I had to go to LA.
16:35Mm-hm.
16:36And the last day was Elton John's party.
16:39Yeah.
16:40And, um...
16:44I got chucked out.
16:46So what happened?
16:47We were working the red carpet.
16:49Yeah.
16:50And then, um, Elton John's right-hand woman...
16:53Yeah.
16:54..said, oh, we're big fans of This Morning.
16:56Here you go.
16:57Here are three wristbands, so a cameraman was there.
16:59And I went, oh, thank you very much.
17:01So where does Tamsin come into it?
17:03Tamsin's my producer.
17:04Right.
17:05So then Tamsin said to me...
17:07Yeah.
17:08..hold these wristbands.
17:10I'm just going to go and put the camera equipment in the car.
17:13So I started twiddling with the wristbands.
17:15Uh-oh.
17:16And I was twiddling with the wristbands.
17:17And as I was twiddling with the wristbands, they were getting smaller
17:19and smaller and smaller.
17:20And then I was like, oh, God, this is not going to fit on my wrist.
17:23So instead of doing anything about it, I put that one in my pocket
17:26and then started twiddling with the other one.
17:28So I twiddled and twiddled and twiddled and it got really small.
17:31So I put that one in my pocket as well.
17:33And I thought, oh, no, they're not going to fit on anyone's wrist, sir.
17:36Is this the plot of Alice in Wonderland?
17:39LAUGHTER
17:41So then Tamsin comes back.
17:43So Tamsin and our cameraman did take a long time to put everything
17:47in the car.
17:48Right.
17:49So then they came back...
17:50Could have probably done with an extra pair of hands.
17:52LAUGHTER
17:55They told me to wait there.
17:56Just saying.
17:57You know, I'm a game player.
17:58I'm one of the crew.
17:59And then...
18:00I think you mean a team player.
18:02Team player.
18:03Yeah.
18:04LAUGHTER
18:05Yeah, a game player is something else.
18:08You really don't want that in your team.
18:10She's a bit of a game player, that, Josie.
18:13LAUGHTER
18:14So the team comes back.
18:16Yeah, the team comes back.
18:17I said, oh, Tams, you never guessed what I've done.
18:20I've made the wristbands so small that they cannot fit on our arms.
18:24So we had to go to the front and I said to them,
18:27Excuse me.
18:28I said, we've made our wristbands too small to put on our arms.
18:31Could we have...
18:32We've made our wristbands too small.
18:34LAUGHTER
18:35Well, she's a team player.
18:36LAUGHTER
18:37So, could we possibly have three more wristbands
18:41so they can fit on our arms and everybody knows
18:43that we're allowed in Elton John's party?
18:46And, er...
18:47And the woman went, what's your name?
18:49And I went, it's Josie Gibson.
18:52And she went...
18:54Your name's not on the list.
18:56LAUGHTER
18:57Get out!
18:58LAUGHTER
18:59Like that?
19:00Like that.
19:01Oh, there's a big dip in plausibility there.
19:03Yeah.
19:04Yeah.
19:05So Tamsin must have been furious with you.
19:07Oh, my God.
19:08Tamsin was so furious.
19:11It was unreal.
19:12So where did you go back to?
19:14We went back to the hotel.
19:15Really nice hotel.
19:16Lovely.
19:17Oh, which one?
19:18Erm...
19:19It was lovely.
19:21LAUGHTER
19:22And that...
19:23It was called the Hollywood something.
19:25Ah, right.
19:26LAUGHTER
19:27I'll be honest, Tamsin went right with me for about two years.
19:32Two years?
19:33Yeah.
19:34Right.
19:35And then what made her get over it?
19:38Probably bringing her air.
19:40LAUGHTER
19:41So this experience has eclipsed her hopes for Elton John's.
19:46I hope him.
19:47Josie, just so you know, there's drinks in the green room afterwards.
19:50Stop!
19:51Yeah, but she's not invited.
19:53LAUGHTER
19:54Now, what about Lee?
19:56Er...
19:57Something to do with a stethoscope.
19:58A stethoscope.
19:59This is Tamsin.
20:00She's the GP who caught me using her stethoscope
20:03to listen through the walls of her surgery.
20:05Ah.
20:06Well, what was this sequence of events, Lee?
20:08Yeah.
20:09I wasn't feeling very well.
20:10Oh, right.
20:11I went to my local GP and I'm very fortunate
20:13that my local GP could fit me in that day.
20:15Because it would have been a cancellation.
20:17Ah, I see.
20:18And we know what that means.
20:19A death.
20:20LAUGHTER
20:21LAUGHTER
20:26So I went to see my GP.
20:28Yeah.
20:29Who is Tamsin.
20:30Er, yes.
20:31Yeah.
20:32It's a bit weird the way your eyes didn't dart over towards her
20:34when you said, my GP.
20:35They didn't dart, did they?
20:36They didn't dart over.
20:37Good point.
20:38Anyway, as I was saying, I was going to say about my inability to dart my eyes.
20:43LAUGHTER
20:44I'm so sorry.
20:45She couldn't fix it.
20:46Isn't that right, Tamsin?
20:47LAUGHTER
20:48Well, let's, let's together invent the next bit.
20:49LAUGHTER
20:50David, you go first.
20:51OK, so you walk into the consulting room.
20:53Yes.
20:54But Tamsin isn't there.
20:55She's hopped out of the window.
20:56No.
20:57OK, sorry.
20:58She jumped out the window.
20:59OK.
21:00Er, no, so I went in.
21:01She said, I'll give you a quick, a quick check-up.
21:02And she, er, got her stethoscope out and she checked my heart.
21:03Mm-hm.
21:04Er, I said it's the other side, but, you know, she's new.
21:05And, er...
21:06The bit I've missed out, the very important bit I missed out is that
21:08none of this happened.
21:10No, the bit where I, the bit where I missed out was that in the waiting room,
21:21I saw a man look at me.
21:22And it's very important.
21:24Right, yes.
21:25And, er, I missed out.
21:26Is that none of this happened.
21:27No, the big, the big way I missed out is that in the waiting room,
21:33I saw a man look at me, and...
21:35yeah i saw a man look at me and he he gave you must have been looking at him then to be fair
21:41well i couldn't look at him because he was over there i couldn't die my eyes
21:47and he looked at me in a way that made me think ah is he is he sort of giving me the nod of you're
21:52the guy off the telly or is he giving me the nod of you're the dad from the playground how did that
21:58mild social anxiety translate into theft and eavesdropping right it wasn't theft because i
22:06didn't take it from the building and as you know you can't get done for shoplifting if by putting
22:10it in your pocket you have to walk out the door and trust me i know you can stuff as many sweets in
22:17your pocket they can't do anything about it you have to exit the building i don't think you're
22:20allowed to eat them going round admittedly but even though they're in molecular terms still in the
22:26building correct if you've stayed there long enough that you've digested them injected them
22:35and left that in a corner they can't touch you they can't they can't and in fact they don't want to
22:41touch you i find what prompted you to pick up this stethoscope yeah we have the consultation i i hear
22:49a knock on the door there's a chat about something uh and she needs to go next door and as the door is
22:53open they call out a name and it's your man all three of them go into the room right and i'm sure
23:01that i heard the word lee so i thought i'll have a proper listen right and i saw the stethoscope in
23:09wall listen but it was too muffled to hear it properly and of course i'm doing all that moving
23:15around the room a bit like that i moved a bit too far around i went next door and examined the patient
23:21and back in again uh oh no i think this horse has gone and then i i just sort of and then she came in
23:30she's back in isn't she what happens says what she said uh what you're doing and i said
23:36what sorry i i just i was panicking i had to think on my feet i just said um i've got some terrible news
23:47i think your wall's dead all right we need an answer so is tamsin joe's bemused bride josie's
23:59frustrated friend or lee's dismayed doctor i think whenever we describe tamsin's aged repulsively
24:07elderly husband there is a reaction in her face that says i i live with this man he is my husband
24:17but remember joe said she was annoyed i think that's someone who would have been amused
24:22if joe had mistaken her yeah the groom for her father but we can only imagine how elderly he is
24:29we don't know but you're supposed to be here tonight but we haven't got a ramp
24:38right lee's story i don't i think it's less embarrassing to not recognize someone than it is
24:44to borrow a piece of medical equipment i must say i've there's a lot of plausibility to josie's story
24:50for me you would describe the sort of wristband that you could as it were put beyond use just
24:55by fidgeting with it that is a thing well i'm deeply lost but i think you two think it's joe
25:01yes yeah yeah well let's say it's joe then okay they're saying that it's joe and here we go the
25:06wedding tamsin would you please reveal your true identity i'm tamsin and because of josie i missed an
25:16oscars party oh my god yes tamsin is josie's frustrating friend thank you very much tamsin
25:29oh you forgive me now you forgive me which brings us to our final round quickfire lives and we start with
25:37it's david age seven if i'd been a good boy every sunday i was allowed to sit at the head of the
25:47table and drink my milk from a wine glass if this isn't true i'm starting to think they might be
25:55stereotyping us were you particularly delighted to be able to drink your milk from a wine glass
26:03particularly delighted pretty much nails it yeah what would constitute good behavior or perhaps
26:10more interestingly with you what would constitute bad behavior to be honest i was pretty pretty
26:17conventional you know i didn't didn't break rules but sometimes i was if you can imagine this
26:23you know not very good company i moan and i say oh do i have to and that sort of thing so you were a bad
26:32boy if you said i'm not i'm quite enjoying saying you're a bad boy you're a bad boy naughty naughty
26:42and would you be served like the matrice he would say would you like to have a look at the i'd look
26:47at the milk list no i wouldn't be served but i would just you're allowed to drink from the wine glass
26:54because that's what they did the grown-ups yes and you've got siblings of course i didn't at that
26:59point ah okay he's eight years younger than me so at that point he was minus one oh so there was
27:06that's sort of around about the conception time you don't want to be thinking about that well
27:12and yeah that was it they used to pour you the milk like that and say you enjoy your milk
27:17the milk i would sip the milk and then i'd wake up four hours later
27:24with my face on the table and my parents were coming to the room smiling
27:31i can imagine him with a little baby sham glass like with a little pinky out like that drinking as
27:35with his what out with his little pinky oh right because he was he was very much in danger then of
27:42being a bad boy wasn't he he'll have that uh glass of milk batter don't you david okay time to decide
27:51you're not having it no i'm not having it and you are having it oh yeah well i don't know about that but
27:56yeah but you believe him yeah i will go with josie and say it's true okay they're saying it's true
28:04david was it true or was it a lie it was a lie oh yeah you're right
28:14it's a lie david didn't drink milk from a wine glass that noise signals time is up it's the end of the
28:21show and i can reveal that david's team has won by three points to two
28:28thanks for watching we'll see you next time good night
28:34a whodunit mystery for students turn detective and solve the story with bbc bite size go online now
28:40and heavy is the head that wears the cloak now their fate has been left to chance don't go anywhere
28:45the traitor's final is next
28:51you
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