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Taskmaster.Champion.of.Champions.2025
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00:00I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:30It's not what I'm doing.
01:00Hello! Hello!
01:12Thank you, welcome, I'm Greg Davis.
01:16Imagine, if you will, a world where the greatest from any era
01:20could be pitted against one another.
01:22Peak Muhammad Ali clashing with the raging youth of Tyson.
01:26Borg trading rally upon rally with Federer.
01:29Simone Biles and Olga Corbett throwing impossible shapes
01:32on the same bars.
01:34Ooh, it's a tantalising prospect, isn't it?
01:37Now, forget all that and let's see some comedians
01:40doing stupid stuff.
01:42Welcome to the Taskmaster, champion of champions!
01:46APPLAUSE
01:48Please welcome back the winners from series 16 to 20,
01:52Andy Zaltzman!
01:54CHEERING
01:56John Robin!
01:58Maisie Anna!
02:01Matthew Baker!
02:03And Sam Campbell!
02:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:08And next to me, a man who tells me that,
02:10unlike the vast majority of the United Kingdom,
02:13he found the felling of the sycamore gap tree
02:16absolutely hilarious.
02:18LAUGHTER
02:19It's...
02:21He-he-he!
02:22Little Alex Hart!
02:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:27Hello, Greg, hello everyone.
02:29It's the champion of champions.
02:31It must be a tough, tough prize category, am I right?
02:34Oh, he's always right, although he dresses to the left.
02:37LAUGHTER
02:38And the prize category is the biggest betrayal.
02:42Ooh!
02:43Yes!
02:44The audience were right to ooh, enough respect.
02:46Greg will give five points for the biggest betrayal
02:49in what is probably the only time ever that celebrities
02:52being duplicitous on television are rewarded and celebrated.
02:54LAUGHTER
02:56Right!
02:57Let us begin.
02:58Hello, Andy.
02:59Hello, Greg.
03:00What betrayal have you brought in for this,
03:02most auspicious of occasions?
03:03Well, I brought in the official Taskmaster book.
03:07OK, well, this is the book.
03:08Oh!
03:09So there you go.
03:10Definitive truth.
03:11Definitive truth.
03:12The real story by the real star.
03:15LAUGHTER
03:17But the real betrayal is...
03:19I'm going to have to take you to the index, Greg.
03:21Look at that.
03:22Oh.
03:23Not a single mention, mate.
03:24But this...
03:25LAUGHTER
03:27LAUGHTER
03:28Not...
03:31It hurts big time.
03:32It's a big betrayal.
03:33It's a big betrayal.
03:34It's a big betrayal.
03:35It's a strong opener.
03:36Can you beat that, John,
03:37a book because it doesn't even mention me?
03:39Would it not impress you more
03:41to betray the only person on Earth
03:43you want to be betrayed?
03:45Alex, two months ago you received an email from me.
03:48Here it is.
03:49Sorry to ask,
03:50but my pal is running a charity auction
03:51and he's a big Horn Section fan.
03:53As if...
03:54LAUGHTER
03:56We sought out a few signed posters.
03:58Cheers, mate.
03:59And I think I did provide the posters.
04:00Yes, you did.
04:01So what there was,
04:02was a Horn Section show
04:04in the Aylesbury Waterside Theatre.
04:07Yeah, we're doing quite well.
04:08Yeah.
04:10So I added Alex's signed posters
04:12for the audience to see
04:14as they walked into the show,
04:15but I did annotate them somewhat
04:17with my own messages.
04:19First off,
04:20a career low.
04:21LAUGHTER
04:23Alesbury is a syphilis hotspot.
04:27LAUGHTER
04:28Only here to escape our Harrodon wives.
04:33LAUGHTER
04:34Exemplary.
04:35APPLAUSE
04:36Exemplary.
04:37Strong.
04:38This is strong.
04:39Who's next?
04:40Maisie.
04:41Well, I've not betrayed either of you.
04:43I have betrayed my fellow competitors.
04:47Ooh.
04:48Oh!
04:49Yes.
04:50So there's a lot of chat forums
04:51where people want to know behind-the-scenes goss
04:54about comedians,
04:56specifically some of you guys.
04:59And the day I came home from winning my series,
05:03I set up a fake account on this chat forum
05:06to contribute scathing rumours about these lovely men.
05:10LAUGHTER
05:12LAUGHTER
05:13All right.
05:14APPLAUSE
05:15So...
05:18Somebody was basically wanting some tea
05:20on the UK comedy scene,
05:21so I came straight in with, well, before a gig,
05:23Andy Zaltzman kept asking if tampons were a myth.
05:26LAUGHTER
05:27And then I thought I'd add in, with my good friend Matt Bainton here,
05:31that I also worked with Matt Bainton,
05:32and when I said I liked football,
05:34he made me list the starting 11 of the past five FA Cup winners.
05:37LAUGHTER
05:38Luckily for you, I didn't discuss you on the chat forum.
05:43I discussed you in the very big WhatsApp group
05:46that is for female comedians.
05:48LAUGHTER
05:51Here we go.
05:53LAUGHTER
05:55I mean, I said, first of all,
05:56Sam Campbell referred to me as that lady comic
05:58throughout the entire time of working together.
06:00Oh, my God.
06:01LAUGHTER
06:02That's Lou Sanders.
06:03Lou Sanders is my landlord.
06:05LAUGHTER
06:07Disappointing but not surprising.
06:10LAUGHTER
06:11And John Robbins starts all of his sentences around women
06:14with the phrase,
06:15as one of the few good men left in comedy.
06:17LAUGHTER
06:19Is this Kath...
06:20That's Katherine Ryan, yeah.
06:22Saying gross.
06:24Saying gross.
06:25LAUGHTER
06:26And you didn't tell them it was a wind-up,
06:27you just put the comment?
06:28No.
06:29It's...
06:30LAUGHTER
06:31This is lovely.
06:32Matthew.
06:33Well, I felt the biggest possible betrayal here
06:36would be to betray this show.
06:39Oh.
06:40On a very big public scale,
06:42so this is what I did.
06:44LAUGHTER
06:46LAUGHTER
06:47I wonder if you could possibly have heard that way.
06:52LAUGHTER
06:54LAUGHTER
06:55APPLAUSE
06:56Yeah.
06:57APPLAUSE
06:58That is nice.
07:01And, I would say, expensive?
07:03Yeah.
07:04750 pounds.
07:05Ooh!
07:06LAUGHTER
07:07The scale of it is lovely.
07:09Yeah.
07:10Sam.
07:11Well, yeah.
07:12I think it is a betrayal
07:13that there is only one female comedian
07:14on this entire dais.
07:15Yeah.
07:16So you listen here,
07:17Mr. Alex Horne,
07:19and you listen here,
07:20Mr. Greg Walters...
07:22G... Davis?
07:23LAUGHTER
07:26Because I think it's about time someone taught you
07:29the alphabet.
07:30A to Z.
07:32LAUGHTER
07:37I go on a shopping spree
07:38with Aisling B
07:39and Bridget Christie makes my eyes misty.
07:42Oh, Catherine Boha,
07:43you are just so smart.
07:44Dame Edna
07:45should have been played by a woman.
07:47Oh, the colour make you giddy
07:48like that Emacidi.
07:49Fatia Elgory has best Instagram stories.
07:51You can't hold a candle to our Grace Campbell.
07:54I'm crying in my silence
07:58on female videos.
08:04Harriet Kemsley,
08:05hope you're getting your REM sleep
08:06while joking on putty
08:08from sweet Izzy Sadi.
08:09Put your hands on the air
08:10for Jenny Eclair.
08:11There should be a monument
08:12to Gary Goleman.
08:13Lucy Beaumont,
08:14this is your moment.
08:16Forget Aladdin,
08:17wish to see Meziadam.
08:18Natasha Dimitri,
08:19every TV show should feature you.
08:21Female comedians,
08:22I want you to hold me accountable.
08:23Sketch Cozo Golda,
08:24because I'm Olivia Colman.
08:26Patty Harrison,
08:27there is no comparison.
08:28Queen Latifah,
08:29is in some comedy movies.
08:31Rosie Jones,
08:32I wanna make clothes.
08:33Sarah Millican,
08:34make another from silicon.
08:35Tati McLeod,
08:37is cloning allowed?
08:38Can I get a multi-pack
08:39of a rouge ash rack?
08:41And what about the female comedians
08:42from other planets?
08:43Vorg,
08:44is talking the talk.
08:45She's got a new podcast,
08:46sharing her thoughts.
08:48Watch into Koala,
08:49you're a comedy master.
08:50I like to pick your brains
08:51over a tikka masala.
08:52Sontorial Zork,
08:54I heard your podcast with Vorg.
08:55Man, you guys,
08:56have such a nice talk.
08:57Yip, it's a new.
08:59Your last special is you.
09:00I heard you,
09:01instead of laughing,
09:02you goop.
09:03Zoe Lyons,
09:04broader sky horizons.
09:05I'm breaking my silence.
09:19Okay.
09:20Who are you portraying?
09:24Oh, I brought in a special,
09:29a special glove.
09:31Yeah, this is what Sam
09:32has actually brought in.
09:37Okay.
09:38Okay.
09:39Can I go back to my original question?
09:44Who are you portraying?
09:46No, no, I'm saying that we feel betrayed by you and your nasty little boys club.
09:55And a lot of them have been on Taskmaster.
09:58That is a good point.
10:01Well, here are my scores.
10:03You ready?
10:04Cool.
10:05Sam, one point,
10:06because I don't think you know who you've betrayed.
10:09Andy Zaltzman,
10:10two points,
10:11seems fair.
10:12John, three points.
10:14Matthew Bainton,
10:15four points,
10:16because I like the scale of it.
10:17And who else can I give five points to but Maisie Adam?
10:20Well done, Maisie Adam.
10:21She wins the title!
10:22Yes!
10:26All right, let's let this firmest battle begin!
10:29Oh, yes.
10:30And first up,
10:31it's Verses,
10:32followed by Curses.
10:34Ooh!
10:35Hello.
10:36Hi, Maisie.
10:37John Robbins.
10:38Alex Horne.
10:39Ta-da!
10:40There he is.
10:41Come around it.
10:42Hello.
10:43Hi, Sam.
10:44Hello.
10:45Hi, Sam.
10:46How have you been since the victory?
10:48Yeah, good.
10:49I haven't had any acting work.
10:50Would you say that's a coincidence, or...?
10:52I've got to ask,
10:53how's your back?
10:55Yeah, well, sorry,
11:10the fact that you've been only a while,
11:11is it great
11:11to say!
11:13I allHostell.
11:14So now you have no feedback for me?
11:15back yeah all right okay i did wrestling i wasn't dressed as a nun when i did that but i landed on
11:21me back so that's happened great i'm a drugged up nun with a guitar essentially
11:28write memorize and perform the most powerful poem about being a champion you must perform
11:34the entirety of your poem sat on the special chair you have 15 minutes to write and memorize
11:38your poem then a maximum of five minutes to perform it most powerful champion poem performance
11:44wins your time starts now can't be that difficult shakespeare churned him out didn't he there's a
11:52whiff of shakespeare about you thank you i used to write a lot of poetry back in the day i would
11:57write lots of pretty moving poems about girls who didn't fancy me oh did that change no lady repellent
12:04this is how i'll remember it i think they're called acrostic poems i'll definitely remember it because
12:09i've just got to remember what it is i'm spelling which is going to be champion okay so now it's just
12:15learning time i need more time i need more time
12:30i see it's not a chair a chair is something you sit on that's the chair that is not a definition
12:40of a chair it's a special chair it's not a chair
12:49well well well seeing them all come in one by one it really did make me crushing my judgments over the
12:54series sister bad back and the four troubles let's have a look first to all right and gyrate yes in
13:03those shorts it's matthew bainton i'm going to swing on this way for obvious reasons
13:10okay the champion wins a champion wins a champion defeats a champion destroys a champion never cheats
13:32after the battle after the fight what keeps a champion up at night the champion's burden the champion's
13:42the champion's burden the champion's curse when all is done there can be only one
14:02pretty powerful stuff because it's not just about what it takes to be a champion it's about what it
14:07costs to be a champion and what it costs is your acting career yes despite the ghoulies it was a strong
14:14poem okay one part of our final is done and it's so good to have our old friends back yes it is in
14:20fact i put together a little highlight reel and i thought we could watch that before the break if
14:24you'd like to see it great oh yeah that's a good idea why don't you just marry them here's some adverts
14:32that's a good idea why don't you think it's a good idea why don't you think it's a good idea
14:36that's a good idea why don't you think it's a good idea why don't you think it's a good idea
14:40hello welcome back to this tremendous tussle of the tusk titans
14:45yes and it's nice to see sam campbell again too isn't it so
14:49before the break they were performing the most powerful poem about being a champion whilst riding a
14:54bucking bronco now back on the ball we go with randy's altzman
15:05you wearing a box yes i am the world where once the penguin feared to tread
15:12now bestrode by this titan of taskmerian fate who wields the sacred willow and on his head that helmet
15:21showing the world that's where we go to so showing the world uh it's never too late to grasp from
15:34the chasm of eternal gloom a sprig of hope or thus the champion of series 18 who sprang in
15:39triumph from human womb proof of all the victory can be seen even in a hero who's over 50. ah
15:45ah i'm fucking oh shit
15:55i'm still holding on to it you're fine you're fine victory can be seen even in a hero who's
16:00over 50 balding quite out of shape and locks and alex horns darkened task-filled harrowing room the end
16:09finish you're finished mate thank you for the poem andy you're an evil fucking bastard
16:21well it was supposed to be um a poet doing a powerful performance honestly what i've written
16:27down is it was a bit like watching an old man fail a medical well potato potato
16:33you know he's next next up it's the turn of john robbins to recite his poem whilst having his nipples
16:41tossed all over the place
16:42you can't just need to make one adjustment there we go pemberton blessed dweeb of cryptic
16:55willan and mohammed crowd-pleasing thick-o-diptic mcnally
17:04prosecco smile and monroe nose our champion in freddie pose
17:09hi-ya our champion with record score robbins they cry let it rain once more
17:25okay you got to level one with that one on that one but on other ones i got to the max didn't i
17:31i got to level one with that one with that one with that one with that one with that one with that one
17:38you were writing about your fellow contestants as well yes when you first got on you said you had to
17:43make an adjustment yes and i wrote down i thought that maybe you were putting part of you inside of you
17:49no i was very much just ensuring that the robin's lineage of champions can continue
18:00good who's next it is the time of sam campbell and maizey
18:07oh what are you joking that's the magic chair it's a special chair special chair
18:15i've told you i've got a back injury and you thought yeah bubber on there you look like you're gonna give birth
18:24oh far out oh my god life is insane some people say it's a game of snakes and ladders champion of champions
18:34how did we get here ah so many blood sweat and tears a ladder and something happens not nice
18:42many have failed but not i pushing through tusk after tusk with my eyes oh on the prize
18:52and the real champions are nurses and people who designed hospitals and people who held trouble
18:57teeth in pursuit of big daddy greg's approval and of course roger federer and carlos alcares
19:05oh i'm here to stay ain't no removal and i'm gonna pass over to ala khan
19:16everyone's talking about this guy they're not all playing good things
19:20blue horizons beckon victory again you reckon would you like me to stop the magic carpet yes
19:28and that's the life of a champion
19:32amazing thank you for your powerful performance you're a lawsuit waiting to happen just so you know
19:44that's honestly one of the saddest things i've ever seen you look like you're microwaving me
19:50i remember it being quicker and thinking this'll look cool it did not
20:03sam the poem was rubbish yes it's also not the poem he wrote in the room in the room he wrote
20:08everyone is a champion roger federer i feel 100 my life has been amazing lonely at the top
20:13it's time to score greg well i sort of felt the same about andy and sam's really i could only
20:26give them two points because of the criteria of the poem right two points so i'm going to give them
20:30two points each to sam and andy that's correct now i do think you know you're a physical disadvantage
20:35because you had a terrible wrestling injury yeah but i just don't think we can no i get what you're
20:39saying you're saying three points and get back in the kitchen i hear you and then i think matt you
20:46couldn't hold on long enough to give your poem the audience it deserved whereas john held on
20:51he slagged off his fellow contestants and he did it in a very powerful way four points and five points
20:57and that's it all right there we go i'd like to see a champion scoreboard please three of the champions
21:05cannot be wrought apart matt maizey and john all have eight points
21:11also andy and sam are there four and three
21:15then let us see the champions task some more okay we've had poetic meters and now for two more meters
21:22in a race against time
21:41hey matt
21:42hold alex hello oh how are you you look a little bit stiff there's your task right by the start line
21:56oh what have you got in store for me oh don't do this to me no oh you're cruel oh wow
22:04you all right win the two meter race
22:18first to break the tape wins you must start the race after the starters bang and behind the starting
22:25line if any part of your body moves beyond the starting line or you break the tape before the
22:31starters bang you are disqualified finally every time the bike wheel stops spinning your final time
22:41will be doubled and throughout the task you must big yourself up like give myself compliments yeah
22:47and make myself feel nice you don't want that wheel to stop i know dude
22:52did anyone understand this task no no no it really did cause confusion yes it's a two
23:05meter sprint that's all you need to do should we start the race let's start the race okay first
23:09up it's series 17 versus series 19 that's right it's matthew on your marks luke and john
23:16what are you doing taking the bike off so i can ride the bike do you want a tool i don't need a tool
23:25i am a tool so there's no other course no this is the course it's a two meter running track
23:33i'm the best i've got this where's the starter i just don't know he works independently from me or she
23:46why is there someone in there
23:51okay i got eight minutes and 19 seconds before the bang right but i don't know what i'm supposed
23:56to be doing with my time picking yourself up john do i need to big myself up any bigger
24:04so waiting a minute yeah but i'm good at waiting
24:07that's now safe it's secure six five four three
24:20a specific
24:27you've completed the course after the bank yeah
24:33don't keep that bit in
24:37well i think both men made the mistake of thinking that this task was cleverer than it
24:43is basically you were even looking for another course at one point weren't you yeah it was the
24:46amount of time i've thought about it so much since i was sure that i would come here tonight and watch
24:52it and find out there was a whole other aspect waiting hiding somewhere there wasn't it was just
24:58really there wasn't you're not going to tell us times now i wouldn't think let's see some more then
25:04okay two more men now sorry maisie but they're not particularly manly men because it's sam and andy
25:11you're better than me so you don't want that wheel i'm one of the best ever right
25:16oh he's flying right can i can i move this you do whatever you want you've been talking about me
25:22behind my back i'll tell you why you're behind my back because you are in my shadow and you are
25:27nothing to me and and you know yeah i mean this has been one of the most impressive displays of
25:33moving alex horn on a bicycle yeah i'll move the tape
25:40no not moving the tape so you're just going to do that and wait for the bank yeah are you familiar
25:45with voodoo dolls you piss me off sometimes i don't know what's love talking to you well the tape's
25:51gone now yeah you've got to stay this side of the starters line the starters line oh shit
25:58my arm is getting sore dude hmm is it can i just ask yeah so oh the bang will happen i spin it then i
26:06run no the wheel's got to spin the whole time every time you stop it your final time has doubled
26:15so i need to find the starter now do you think baiton's doing this oh baiton's just perfect oh
26:23baiton oh did you see baiton oh baiton's just great
26:29what can you press that
26:39oh i just saw baiton in the play it was scrumptious
26:45okay thank you okay
27:01Andy i think you went off to have sex with an effigy of answers
27:05but if not we just watched the cricket together
27:10sam you spent a lot of the time sarcastically reviewing matthew baiton's
27:15yeah um i think that's like jealousy and um green doesn't look good on me and i apologize and it's
27:22just yeah jealousy i honestly think you're the thinking woman's crumpet and seriously
27:28we're halfway through this champion of champions showdown and already it's incredibly absolutely
27:35incredible that any of them ever won a series and now alex is going to do an impression of one of the
27:43the beatles hello ringo yes it was ringo here's the man man
27:59welcome back to the third part of this riveting competition there is one race left her body
28:05might not have been match fit but what about her brain let's find out it is maizey adam
28:13we'll just move this closer won't we do you need a hand because of your terrible back injuries
28:17yeah come on that's it that's it here no keep going right just bob it there bob it here yeah
28:24maybe i could tie something to it and then the moment i hear the bang break it could you go and
28:34get me some string string string string great well done am i looking at the starter now no the starter's
28:48not one of these people are you are you sorry oh you've got the button yeah right three two one
29:13you've broken the finish line after the bang very fast see ya thanks lazy
29:26well you broke the tape must be the well i think you've done really well
29:31fuck off surely she can't be beaten let's find out well we can see all five running at the same time
29:39yes please it's time for this year's two-meter race three two one
29:53yes sam your wheels stopped 21 times
30:12so we have to double 6.11 seconds 21 times which works out as 213 500 minutes
30:19which is 21 weeks
30:24sorry not 0.01 yeah my time yeah i i i'm so like honestly put that on my gravestone
30:33in uh top level athletics if you go within 0.1 second of the gun going off
30:40it's considered to be a false start because that's beyond the scope of human
30:43reactions shut the fuck up so gregor are you happy with all the performances i'm happy with all the
30:50performances and nothing zoltzman can say can change my mind on that in which case sam gets one point
30:54andy two john three matt four but maizey allen get five points
30:57bang bang bang bang bang bang bang okay lovely do we have one more tough task for our champs to tackle
31:07oh yes we do and just like you greg it's bold it's big and it's really very simple
31:24oh wow hello sam oh who's that it is i matthew bainton what the what's going on in here
31:37hello maizey hello hello okay
31:44oh that is good
31:45oh right on be brilliant for a minute most brilliant minute wins you have a total of 20
32:01minutes your time starts now i mean it just would be tiresome if i got a guitar out again wouldn't it
32:09what if it's all of history in the minute oh yeah we've got primordial obviously gave people bronze
32:16age huns attila the hun yes attila the hun this is good i've got an idea oh i want to play a game
32:26i mean they say stick to what you know but mostly what i know is cricket stats
32:30yeah i'm going to go and have a think oh right okay don't look at him
32:39it's just too much i think i'm just going to do a till of the hun the life will kill the hun
32:45in a minute yeah
32:51however brilliant what we're about to see is for me nothing's going to be as brilliant as
32:56matthew blinding himself and then smashing into this morning okay well two brilliant champions first
33:03of all andy and maizey
33:09andy i'm down here maizey maizey maizey
33:30you got some
33:58You've got three seconds.
34:05Right.
34:06There we go.
34:08Ah.
34:09None in a bush.
34:10None in a bush.
34:11None in a bush.
34:12You were in there.
34:13Yep, being brilliant at hiding.
34:15OK, thanks, Major.
34:25This is a bit of wordplay by you, isn't it?
34:27Minute.
34:28Well, you just never know on this show what the hidden meanings are.
34:31Yeah.
34:32Most brilliant minute or most brilliant minute with?
34:34Yes.
34:35Oh, yeah.
34:36A bit clever.
34:37I love that little Andy, by the way.
34:39I love little Andy as well, he did lots of brilliant things.
34:44Maisie, how did you think it went?
34:50Genuinely, on the day, I thought, smash this.
34:53Yeah.
34:54I mean, I couldn't find her, I didn't know what she was doing.
34:56She left and I couldn't find her.
34:57Yeah, she...
34:58And isn't that brilliant?
34:59You'd think you'd spotted none in a bush.
35:02No, she's fully inside the bush.
35:04I mean, they could be both.
35:09Family show, Greg.
35:11She was fully inside the bush.
35:15OK, who's next?
35:16Now for a man who could do with some even more brilliant pants,
35:19it's Matt Bainton.
35:20SHE SCREAMS
35:25I love you, then.
35:26I love you, then.
35:28It's Matt Bainton.
35:29I love you, then.
35:30I love you, then.
35:31It's Matt Bainton.
35:32Oh, my God.
36:02I don't know, I'd be brilliant.
36:18The sun is the most brilliant thing in our solar system.
36:23It is.
36:2435.7 octillion lumens.
36:27The projector at IMAX is only 4,000, so that's great.
36:31Stop it, stop it.
36:32There wasn't the facts about the sun.
36:34No, there was the sun.
36:35You adapted your face to look like something, which is also what I did.
36:39And that was critically panned.
36:42But I didn't realise it.
36:43Critically fat.
36:47Matthew, I thought it was powerful.
36:48Oh, you would.
36:50There is just one part left for our champions.
36:54Who will win and take my headless body and attach my head to it, which they already own?
36:59And then, what will they do with me?
37:02Oh, ho, ho.
37:03LAUGHTER
37:04APPLAUSE
37:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
37:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
37:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
37:13Welcome back.
37:15Here we are then.
37:16Mere moments from a former champion rising head and shoulders above the rest to become the ultra champ.
37:22But first, let's finish this brilliant task.
37:24We simply must.
37:25And it's time for the final two guys to be brilliant for a minute.
37:28It's Sam and John.
37:30MUSIC
37:36Welcome to the 60-second game show, where the crew of Taskmaster are going to compete to get money to their chosen charities.
37:43We've got a minute on the clock. Alex is going to blow his whistle.
37:46Our crew are going to shout out their charities and throw the ducks into the buckets, which have...
37:51Didn't... didn't see that, didn't agree to that, and that's fine.
37:55Alex, are you ready to be brilliant for a minute?
37:57Yes, please.
37:58OK, let's do some bloody good.
37:59And we're off.
38:01The Hospice of St Francis.
38:02Oh, well, that went in the hundreds.
38:04Did it?
38:05Yeah, it did.
38:06Markinsons.
38:07Markinsons, that was in.
38:08And, as we know, they come out.
38:10That counts.
38:11Straight forward in the streets.
38:12Chelsea UK.
38:13Mind mental health?
38:16Well, that was basically...
38:18LAUGHTER
38:20Let's get a coffee, please.
38:26Welcome to Attila's, the cafe where we think Attila the Han is just so much fun.
38:31We love Attila the Han!
38:33Kids Against Hunger.
38:35Dream's late.
38:36Or two!
38:37And you helped that one in, and I'm glad.
38:39There you go.
38:40You.
38:41That'll be $3.50.
38:42All right.
38:43Card?
38:44Card's great.
38:45Great Ormond Street.
38:46Lovely.
38:47Ten seconds left.
38:48And that's counting.
38:49It's nice if someone goes for one of these little red ones.
38:51Not bad.
38:52Lovely.
38:53And that's going in...
38:54150.
38:55And that's 150.
38:56Very generous, John.
38:57Thanks.
38:58It's close to a grand.
39:00It's close to a grand.
39:02And...
39:03Charity matters.
39:05Thanks, John.
39:06There you go.
39:07Thank you so much.
39:08Great.
39:10Actually, I'm so sorry, but I don't want a receipt.
39:12Welcome to Attila's!
39:13Welcome to Attila's!
39:14Welcome to Attila's!
39:15Welcome to Attila's!
39:16Welcome to Attila's!
39:17The cafe where we think Attila's...
39:19Attila's is just so much fun.
39:34It's just so much fun.
39:37We have to support local businesses and locals more like the cafes stick of the change
39:56I think it's really you raise that money. I do. I don't think the game show is brilliant. Okay, sorry. I raised so much money for charity
40:07The 60-second game show. I just think why go with that title when you had chuck it, duck it, book it right there
40:14Can I just say I can't stop thinking about little Andy
40:17I would have seen him having like a regular sized meal like imagine like the pizza that we would have
40:22But it's um little Andy having that and like where does he live and like what does he get up to?
40:26All I'm saying is I'm pretty much addicted to little Andy. Yeah
40:30Right the tale of the hundred was a fairly awful murderous the scourge of god. Yeah
40:37I thought this might come up
40:43I think he used to like boil his enemies alive. I think you've got to separate the barista from the boiling
40:52Okay, I'm ready. I'm obviously amazing
40:54You know, I mean I enjoyed seeing a painter face green and hiding a bush dresses a nun
40:59But it wasn't brilliant to one point. Okay, I think it's brilliant that John raised money for charity
41:03Right, but I thought his game show was terrible
41:06I'm giving him two points two points to John. Okay, I'm gonna give Andy three points. Okay, Matthew
41:11I'm going to give four points, and I don't know why I'm doing it. I'm giving Sam Campbell five points
41:17All right, here we go then please head to the stage for your final final task
41:35Hello, baby boy
41:37Hello
41:39Who will be reading the task series 18's champion?
41:43zoltzman zoltzman and
41:45Using only tape turn yourself into a famous person from the previous millennium who you'd like to see on taskmaster
41:55Best all-round new taskmaster contestant wins
41:59You have three minutes three minutes. Yes. Oh, that's gonna be riveting television. Yeah
42:04Yeah, yeah, yeah, ready Greg ready
42:17Quite disturbing
42:19Alex yes, John the tape doesn't stick on your face. Yes, it does
42:23I
42:29Has it tried to ask, but how are you doing Sam very well? Thank you. It's anyone's game
42:37You'll be happy to know green is not enrolled
42:44There we go
42:46There we go
42:53Contestants, please stand on your spots
43:05Oh my god
43:10Oh god, I think I'm gonna hit myself
43:16I can only presume Andy has become the son
43:21No, no, Joan of Arc
43:30Why do you think that Joan of Arc would be good on taskmaster I suppose is the question
43:34Well, she heard voices in her head
43:38And that's very much like what doing this show is like
43:41Yeah, and of course if taskmaster was set during the time of Joan we would perhaps burn people
43:48We can't rule it out
43:49I may as well say it because if anyone's feeling uncomfortable with that idea
43:53Strap yourself in for John
43:55So next to Joan of Arc, who do we have Greg?
44:03It's the Fuhrer I presume
44:05Charlie Chaplin
44:06Ah
44:07Oh, thank you for that
44:10It's a great booking
44:13What a release
44:14Yes
44:15And why do you think Chaplin would be good on taskmaster chance?
44:18Well, one of the great physical comedians of the last millennium
44:22Who I'd like to hear talk a bit more than I did
44:27So, our middle contestant and who do we have?
44:30Well, I'll tell you who we've got we've got David Bowie surely
44:32Oh
44:33Yeah
44:33Yeah
44:34And why do you think the slim white duke would have been a good contestant?
44:43Well, from what I've seen, white men really do get booked
44:46So
44:52Next to Bowie, Greg
44:53Now, who is this?
44:55Is it Liza Minnelli?
44:57No
44:58Oh
44:59This is Dawn French
45:05Can I say for the record, we agree that Dawn, you'd be great on taskmas
45:09Maybe after she sees this
45:11Oh, yeah, she'll look at this and go, that's a show that respects me
45:17And finally, at the end of the line
45:20Are you a person?
45:22Yes, technically, yes
45:23I feel it might be a Power Ranger
45:26No
45:26Are you from a movie, Sam?
45:28Yeah
45:29Are you a smurf?
45:30No
45:31Is it Avatar?
45:32Yeah
45:33You're a character from Avatar
45:34Jake Sully
45:35Jake Sully
45:36Yeah
45:36Greg, there is a technicality, Avatar is set in 2154 and it was made in the early 2000s
45:40It was definitely this millennium, not the last millennium
45:43So
45:44I'm a smurf
45:44No, I'm not
45:51Okay, so we have no choice, unfortunately
45:54One point to Sam Campbell
45:55I'm giving Andy Zaltzman two points
45:57Okay
45:58I think
45:59I'm going to put Dawn French above Chaplin on this occasion
46:02And I recognized the great songwriter immediately
46:06It's five points to Maisie
46:07There we go, five points
46:08To Barry
46:11Please come down, we'll have that to your final score
46:14This has truly been a tale of Maisie and men
46:25But now four of them must walk away with their golden tails between their golden legs
46:30Whereas one will walk out of here waving their tail around like a flippin' lunatic
46:36So, let's ask the man with the calculator
46:38Oh, Mr. Calculator
46:41Who has come out on top?
46:43Very close
46:45Very close
46:46The champion of champions
46:48One point in it at the end
46:50Oh
46:51The winner with 20 points
46:53It's Matt Bainton
46:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:58Matt Bainton is the new champion of champions
47:01Please pop off your Taskmaster trophy
47:04Thank you
47:05Hallelujah
47:05Yeah
47:26Thank you
47:27Now
47:27Here you go
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