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00:00So, Paul, we're on a steam train.
00:09What does that mean?
00:10I think it means it's Christmas.
00:13It's the Christmas show, yeah.
00:15Yeah.
00:15But it's not very Christmassy out there, Bob.
00:17Yeah, well, it isn't, but it's the Christmas show.
00:20Right.
00:23Do you know where we're heading?
00:25I'll tell you where we're heading.
00:26We're heading to the centre of Christmas this year.
00:30All right, and who decides where it's centred?
00:32Me, of course.
00:34Silly of you.
00:35Of course it's you, isn't it?
00:37Do you know where it might be?
00:38Give us a clue.
00:39Ted's got a little hint.
00:41All right, OK.
00:44It's a Cornish pasty.
00:46We're going to Cornwall.
00:48Wow, nice.
00:51We're going to actually, on our way to Cornwall,
00:54we'll fish on a beautiful river called the River Lid in Devon.
00:57Then we'll be fishing in Cornwall.
00:59Really?
00:59Yeah.
00:59We've got the award ceremony, special Christmas dinner,
01:03some beautiful accommodation for our Cornish Christmas adventure.
01:09Oh, lovely.
01:10This carriage is called a Pullman carriage, fancy.
01:13It was the personal carriage of Winston Churchill.
01:16And it was in this carriage that he had a meeting with General Eisenhower
01:20to discuss the D-Day landings.
01:22We might be in their seats.
01:24We might be in their seats.
01:25You're actually facing from forward.
01:27I've got to, haven't I, you silly egg?
01:29Did you call me a silly egg?
01:30No, no, no, no, no, no.
01:31No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
02:01Come, Ted.
02:02Good boy.
02:03I said, what a cunt of Devon.
02:05You told me we was going to Cornwall.
02:07We're on our way to Cornwall, Ted.
02:09Drag me down some muggy old river.
02:11What's the matter with you, Long River?
02:13Any other one, I forgot his name, to be honest.
02:17So this is it, Paul? Yeah.
02:19The River Laird? Yeah, beautiful, isn't it, Bob?
02:22I'll start down there, you get in there, yeah?
02:25Righty-o. What are we fishing for, though?
02:27Well, trout and sea trout as well.
02:30Look, we've got one of those views, Paul, through there.
02:32Oh, we have. It's a portal, isn't it?
02:34It's a portal to the Magic Kingdom. Who knows what? Yeah.
02:38Right. Let's do it.
03:00Do you have roast potatoes and mashed potatoes with your Christmas dinner, Paul?
03:09I would, if I was offered it.
03:11You know, in Cornwall, they like to have a bit of fish.
03:15Really? What are they? French?
03:17Turbot or halibut, that sort of thing.
03:19Oh, yeah, nice.
03:29Ah! Are you caught again?
03:32Oh, thank God.
03:33You get it? Yeah.
03:35Yeah.
03:39Would you describe me as fat?
03:42No.
03:44I'm overweight, but you say there's a fat bloke over there.
03:47Well, not really, Bob.
03:49You've got a sort of big round head, haven't you?
03:52But you're not fat, no.
03:54Oh.
03:55Oh, he's in.
03:56Oh.
03:57Oh.
03:58Oh.
03:59Oh.
04:00Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
04:03Oh.
04:04Oh, Bob, you all right, mate?
04:06I'm absolutely fine, Bob.
04:07Are you?
04:08I'm wet.
04:09It was a bit cold as well, wasn't it?
04:11Fat and wet.
04:13Lucky you had that layer of blubber there for buoyancy.
04:16Bloody hell, Bob, you all right?
04:18Yeah, no, I'm fine.
04:20Go on, go and suck yourself out.
04:24Did you hurt yourself, Guy, any?
04:28I took a bit of a bang on the...
04:30On the rump.
04:33On the rump?
04:34On the rump.
04:35I've got one rump and one butter.
04:36Have you?
04:37Unusual, isn't it?
04:38It is very unusual.
04:39Oh, man.
04:44I'll tell you what, with Christmas this year, Bob,
04:46here's a little thing for you.
04:47Oh, yeah, go on.
04:49I don't think my Christmases will ever be the same.
04:51Yeah.
04:52Last Christmas, on Christmas Day, Grandad,
04:58me father-in-law, was in hospital.
05:00Yeah.
05:01And so on Christmas Day, me and my son took him his present.
05:04It was a nice little steam train calendar.
05:06Oh, yeah.
05:07But when we got there, he was fast asleep.
05:09Ah, right.
05:10And couldn't be roused, so we just said Happy Christmas to him.
05:12And took the present back.
05:13No, we gave him the present for when he woke up and that.
05:16Yeah.
05:17And then when we got home, there was a phone call from the ward,
05:22and he died by the time we got home.
05:25We sort of thought to ourselves, me and Tom, my son,
05:30that maybe, just maybe, he heard us say Happy Christmas.
05:35Yeah.
05:36And then say goodbye.
05:37Yeah.
05:38And he thought, all right, I'll turn off now then.
05:39That was nice.
05:40Well, it's possible, isn't it?
05:41It's possible.
05:42Mm.
05:43You know, maybe.
05:44On Christmas Day.
05:45On Christmas Day.
05:49He liked steam engines and he liked beer.
05:52There's plenty of them about, isn't there?
05:54That's a man, isn't it?
05:55Yeah.
05:56Rod Stewart, he likes steam engines and beer, doesn't he?
05:58Yeah.
05:59Apparently.
06:00It's a type, isn't it?
06:01It is a type.
06:14That's too close in, I think.
06:32I'm in, Bob.
06:33You're in?
06:34You're in?
06:35Yep.
06:36What were you thinking, little trout?
06:37No.
06:38It's not so little, and I don't know what it is yet.
06:41Well done, man.
06:42First Christmas catch.
06:43I think it's a grayling.
06:47Yes!
06:48It's a good grayling.
06:49I think it's a grayling, yeah.
06:50It is a grayling.
06:51It's a nice one, isn't it?
06:52Oh, Bob, look at him.
06:54Go on.
06:55Get him.
06:56Yes!
06:57Oh, Paul, it's a whopper.
06:59That is the biggest one we've ever caught.
07:01It is, isn't it?
07:02Look at that.
07:03See this fin?
07:04That's so beautiful, isn't it?
07:06Right.
07:07Let's get him back.
07:08Beautiful creature.
07:10Beautiful creature.
07:12There you go.
07:13And away.
07:15Well done, Paul.
07:16God, it's cold, that water, isn't it?
07:18Lovely.
07:19Are we having a cup of tea, darling?
07:20Yes, I'd love a cup of tea.
07:21I've got some special treats.
07:23Come on then.
07:24Christmas treats for you.
07:25Oh, nice.
07:26So this is my Christmas spread.
07:29Wow, look at that.
07:30Yule log.
07:31Gingerbread man.
07:32That one's me.
07:33That one's you.
07:34Okay.
07:35Obviously.
07:36Yeah.
07:37Look what I've got here, Paul.
07:38Ooh.
07:39Mince pies heating by the camping stove.
07:41Ooh.
07:42Come on, Teddy.
07:43It's nothing to do with you, Ted.
07:44Yeah, but it is.
07:45Yeah, but it is.
07:46No, it's nothing to do with you.
07:47Yeah, but it is.
07:48Yeah, but it is.
07:49Nicely judged.
07:50Mr. Mince pie, as they call you.
07:51It's really heated for a while, isn't it?
07:52There you go, Teddy.
07:53I have got some cream.
07:54Top.
07:55Whoa.
07:56Ted, do you want a bit of squirty cream?
07:57I wonder if he squirted it into his mouth.
07:58He'd just keep going.
07:59And he'd grow up.
08:00And then.
08:01And then.
08:02Ted, what?
08:03Exactly.
08:04Exactly.
08:05Yeah.
08:06Yeah, but it is.
08:07Yeah, but it is.
08:08Yeah, but it is.
08:09No, it's nothing to do with you.
08:10Yeah, but it is.
08:11Yeah, but it is.
08:12Nicely judged.
08:13Mr. Mince pie, as they call you.
08:14It's really heated for a while, isn't it?
08:15There you go, Teddy.
08:16I have got some cream.
08:17Top.
08:18Whoa.
08:19Ted, do you want a bit of squirty cream?
08:20Ted, what?
08:22Exactly.
08:31I'll have a go, yeah.
08:32You've got a fish with a nymph, right?
08:33Well, there's one grayling.
08:34There's more.
08:35There's more.
08:36Yeah.
08:37Just mind those berries, right?
08:39Whoa, that's beautiful, you lucky sod.
08:41Right, that's it.
08:42Keep that line off the water.
08:44Track it down.
08:47Give that little line a mend.
08:49That's it, like that.
08:50That's good.
08:54Another calf.
08:55Oh, boom, boom.
08:56I'm in.
08:57Oh, nice.
08:58That's a good fish, Bob.
08:59It's a good fish.
09:00I know it's a good fish.
09:01I can see it is.
09:02I think you might have a seat right there or a big grayling.
09:05It's a good fish.
09:06Go on, then.
09:07Try and get it on the reel, but mainly keep contact.
09:10Okay, so now don't wind.
09:11That's a good fish, Bob.
09:12I'm on the reel.
09:14Oh.
09:15Oh.
09:16Oh.
09:17He he he.
09:18Right, you can wind a little bit.
09:20Go on.
09:21Have you got the net?
09:22Yeah.
09:23Oh.
09:24I haven't even seen it yet, Bob, have you?
09:27No.
09:28It's too big to see.
09:29It's a massive trout.
09:30All right.
09:31Come on.
09:32Oh, please don't go.
09:33Come on.
09:34No, come on, come on.
09:35We've got to get this fish.
09:36Come on.
09:37Come on.
09:38Oh, yes.
09:39Oh, boom.
09:40Whoa.
09:41Look at the stars on him.
09:42Wow.
09:43That's a lovely sea trout, Bob.
09:44Look at it.
09:45You can.
09:46I think we're talking records here, Paul.
09:48I'm going to get onto the mare.
09:49Oh, we'll get him to the mare.
09:50Oh, we'll get him to the mare.
09:51Oh, we'll get him to the mare.
09:52Oh, we'll get him to the mare.
09:53Oh, we'll get him to the mare.
09:54Oh, we'll get him to the mare.
09:56Oh, we'll get him to the mare.
09:57Oh, we'll get him to the mare.
09:58Oh, we'll get him back.
09:59Yeah.
10:00What a magnificent fish.
10:01Wow.
10:02Well done, Bob.
10:03Hold him till he's ready.
10:05I think he'll be gone soon, but...
10:07And away!
10:10Not going to get better than that, Paul.
10:12No, it ain't, Bob.
10:13Let's go to the accommodation.
10:14Okay.
10:15Our first Christmas accommodation.
10:16Fair play.
10:17Thank you for that, sir.
10:18Well done, mate.
10:19I don't know if I can move, really, but...
10:20Oh, there's a big lump here.
10:21And I don't mean me.
10:22Hey!
10:23All right.
10:24Oh, that sea trout, Paul.
10:25Yeah.
10:26That's going to haunt you for years.
10:27He tugged you, didn't he, eh?
10:28Lying there.
10:29You're never going to let it lie, are you?
10:30Never.
10:31No.
10:32I thought for Christmas I'd bring you somewhere so special it would rip your heart out of
10:53your body.
10:54Cleanse it and return it fully functioning.
10:56Let's hope so.
10:57It needs a bit of an upgrade, Bob, really.
10:59Because this place is gorgeous.
11:01Whoa!
11:02Is that the sea?
11:03And...
11:04Wow.
11:05To your right here, Camel Quarry House.
11:08Oh, look at that.
11:10Well, thank you, Bob.
11:12Our best yet.
11:13It's a beauty!
11:14Could be.
11:15Cornish beauty, come on.
11:17Whoa!
11:18Tally tick.
11:19Come on.
11:20See the bedrooms.
11:21Go on then.
11:22Up you go, you sprightly old fella.
11:23I'm going to take a chance on a left.
11:24Oh, this one is very me, Paul.
11:25I've chosen, but I'll join you on your quest.
11:26Come on.
11:27Yes.
11:28Oh, I've made a terrible mistake, Paul.
11:29You have, Bob.
11:30Feel free to enjoy the view for about eight seconds.
11:34Eight seconds is not enough.
11:35Come on, Bob, you've seen enough.
11:37Come on, you've jangan, come on.
11:38Up.
11:39Up, upstairs.
11:40Okay.
11:41Ooh.
11:42Ooh.
11:43Whoa!
11:44Whoa!
11:45Whoa!
11:46Ooh-å˜!
11:46Whoa!
11:47Whoa!
11:48Whoa!
11:49Whoa!
11:51Boom!
11:51Boom, bang, a bang, boom.
11:52Come on, Bob, you've seen enough.
11:56You've got the best room.
11:57Come on, out.
11:58Upstairs.
11:59OK.
12:00Ooh.
12:01Whoa.
12:02Whoa!
12:04Boom?
12:05Yeah, boom, bang-a-bang, boom.
12:08Isn't that something?
12:10Wow.
12:10I feel like we've arrived, because that is Cornwall.
12:15That's the Camel Estuary, Bob.
12:16Yeah, and it's most beautiful.
12:17It's writ large, isn't it?
12:20Got a special guest coming soon.
12:22Any minute now, in fact.
12:24So behave yourself.
12:25Can you get rid of your windy pops now?
12:41Do you like the look of this, Paul?
12:42Char-coot-tree is what they call it.
12:46Char-coot-tree.
12:47Char-coot-tree.
12:48That's Ted's dog biscuits and a bit of cheese.
12:50Oh, right.
12:51Did he do that?
12:52Yeah, absolutely, yeah.
12:53The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
12:59He maketh me to lie down in the...
13:03Ching, ching, ching, ching, ching, ching.
13:05Who can it be?
13:06Ching, ching, ching.
13:08It's Christmas.
13:10Oh, thank you for coming.
13:11It's a bloody holder.
13:13Hello.
13:15Hello, love.
13:16Hi, there.
13:16How are you?
13:17Yeah, I'm all right, darling.
13:18Come on that side, actually, at the same time.
13:19Why do you want the...
13:20I just want to be in a sort of sandwich.
13:22Oh, that's lovely.
13:24A couple of chunks, you are.
13:26Hunky chunks?
13:26What have you brought with?
13:27Do you want to see what this is?
13:28Go on, then.
13:29My husband has made you this.
13:31It's a cake.
13:31Yes.
13:32It's a fruit, it's sultana and cherries.
13:34Lovely.
13:35With icing on the top.
13:36Because what he knows about you two.
13:40Oh, that's nice.
13:40I mean, he likes you, but I like you more.
13:43Right.
13:43He knows that both of you are on my I'm allowed to list.
13:48No.
13:48You are kidding.
13:49Yeah.
13:49Let's get to it.
13:50Come on.
13:52But it is only if he's conked.
13:54Oh, right, OK.
13:55And if you were both single, which you're not.
13:57Yeah, so it's not going to happen, obviously.
13:59No, it's not, is it?
14:00No.
14:00But, you know.
14:01So we've got a cake in lieu, have we?
14:03Yeah, you have.
14:04OK.
14:04I'll bring this over.
14:05Right, come on.
14:06You come in turns.
14:07So this is Cornwall, this is your parish, isn't it?
14:14Yeah, well, it's a tricky one for me, this,
14:17because half of my family are from Devon.
14:20Boo!
14:21Oh.
14:21And half are from Cornwall, so...
14:23Boo!
14:24Oh, no, sorry.
14:24Hooray!
14:25Hooray!
14:26So I'm sort of dual heritage.
14:28It's a bit War of the Roses, kind of.
14:31You're quite synonymous with Christmas.
14:33Well, I suppose so.
14:35The free Christmas dinners.
14:36Yeah?
14:37Yeah?
14:37Go on.
14:37Did you actually really eat free Christmas dinners?
14:40Well, you know how they make telly.
14:41I ate one Brussels sprout.
14:43You're joking, mate.
14:44In that whole thing.
14:45Oh, you've broken his heart.
14:47Oh, well, I will.
14:49Don, will you ever do another Dibley, do you think?
14:52No?
14:52There's only one person left, but...
14:54Mm.
14:55There's only James left out of the whole cast.
14:58Imagine that.
14:58Wow.
14:58That's what happens when you start a sitcom with older people.
15:01Yeah.
15:02Bob gone fishing on his own.
15:04Yeah.
15:05Laughing at my demise.
15:06Not necessarily on your own, Bob.
15:08I'm here.
15:08Yeah.
15:10I'm not great at Christmas, you know.
15:12It's not that I don't like it.
15:13I think as I've got older, and I've lost people in my family, I find Christmas, when you're
15:18supposed to be jolly, too much.
15:20Yeah.
15:21So I get a bit melancholy just before Christmas, but then I, every single Christmas, there is
15:27a proper Christmas miracle, where, and it might just be that I, you know, get myself
15:32out of a grump because it's not fair on everybody else.
15:35But I actually do cheer up by Christmas Day.
15:37By Christmas Day.
15:37Oh, that's good.
15:37But the week before, I have a bit of a slump.
15:40I think the weird thing for me is that Christmas takes you back to childhood, and so I miss
15:45my mum and dad at Christmas.
15:47Yeah.
15:47Can I offer you anything from the charcoot tree?
15:52Yeah, you can.
15:53I'll have a bit of salami.
15:55Do you know what?
15:55I'll move it over, Dawn, and then you're not...
15:57Ted?
15:58Ted?
15:59Here, look.
16:00Look what I've got.
16:00So, try this, Ted, look.
16:04There we go.
16:06Oh, the enderbite's working hard on that.
16:08Yeah.
16:08Cornwall, the most beautiful county, Dawn.
16:18Oh, yes.
16:19No question.
16:20And can I just say, jam first, always, no exceptions.
16:25Just leave it at that.
16:26Well, I do agree.
16:27I don't think you can consider cream or butter.
16:30Correct, Bob.
16:31I'm not getting drawn in on this.
16:33Cream is the crown.
16:34Do you fancy staying for a game of mousetrap, Dawn?
16:38Um, no.
16:39Come on, Dawn.
16:40It's going to be great.
16:41No.
16:42Do you fancy coming in a hot tub with us?
16:43Um, I'd rather put my eyes out, if that's all right with you.
16:48Fair enough.
16:49I sense where you're coming from.
16:51I mean that nicely.
16:52Oh, why not?
16:53I said don't ask, Bob, didn't I?
16:56And you were right.
16:57You were right.
16:58Yeah.
17:08Did you have a nice sleep?
17:15Not bad, yeah.
17:17We've got to get going.
17:18I know, we haven't got fish.
17:19Oh, I forgot, Paul.
17:20What I should say is, I didn't forget, but I've got the last three windows of my advent calendar
17:25to open.
17:26Do you want to do one?
17:27You do today, I'll do tomorrow.
17:29That's nice, isn't it, Bob?
17:30I like that.
17:31It's a good one, isn't it?
17:32Yeah.
17:32Good things, isn't it?
17:34Great things.
17:34Mainly chocolates.
17:36Right.
17:36But little bits of fun jewellery.
17:38Oh, trinkets.
17:39Trinkets.
17:40Okay.
17:40Um, what'd you get?
17:44A little bit of breadstick.
17:46Oh, that's a bit unlucky, isn't it?
17:48This is a trick, isn't it?
17:49No, it's not.
17:50You've enjoyed it, haven't you, little breadstick, boy?
17:52I do, I do like breadstick, yeah.
17:54We've got to get going.
17:55That is the estuary of the river we're fishing today, the river camel.
17:59Yeah, we're fishing upstream.
18:00Mm.
18:01I'll be able to go all day after this breadstick, won't I?
18:04Breadstick, yeah.
18:04Now do you.
18:05Don't worry, I've got some stuff to take.
18:07Howie, lad.
18:10It was a treat seeing Dawn last night, wasn't it?
18:15It was lovely.
18:16She's a very positive presence, isn't she?
18:17Yes, yes, she is, yeah.
18:20Big, big day, though, Paul, innit?
18:22Awards ceremony.
18:23Oh.
18:23Big, big day.
18:26Who's hosting this year?
18:27Do you know?
18:27I think I'll host it this year.
18:29Oh, what a surprise.
18:32It means we couldn't get anyone, did it?
18:34LAUGHTER
18:35Here we are.
18:42Lovely, innit?
18:43This is the Camel Valley, Bob, the river camel.
18:45Right.
18:46In Tresarap we are.
18:47And on the menu today...
18:49Yeah.
18:50Trout.
18:51Trout.
18:51Seatrout.
18:52Yeah.
18:53Seatrout as well?
18:53Yeah, possibly salmon.
18:55Lovely.
18:55It's coming on Christmas
19:05They're cutting down trees
19:08They're putting up reindeer
19:10Singing songs of joy and peace
19:13I wish I had a river
19:15I could skate away on
19:21But it don't snow here
19:26It just stays pretty green
19:28I'm gonna make a lot of money
19:30Then I'm gonna
19:31Oh, did you miss one?
19:32Yep.
19:33Oh.
19:33Oh.
19:33I wish I had a river
19:36I could skate away on
19:41I wish I had a river so long
19:46Oh, I've got Mr.
19:48Oh, man.
19:49Teach my feet to flow
19:53Yes.
19:59Hey, well done, Bob.
20:02Little brownie.
20:03I could skate away on
20:04Very nice.
20:07And away.
20:09Hey.
20:10Oh, it was an incredible bit of fishing, Paul.
20:12Yeah, I'm sure it was, Bob.
20:14If you did it, I'm sure it was superlative.
20:17Good stuff.
20:19I would say, Paul, that was maybe my most enjoyable bit of fishing I've ever done.
20:36Really?
20:36It was fantastic, yeah.
20:38Oh, brilliant.
20:39I don't know, just somewhat about the flow of the river and the light.
20:43The light is incredible here, isn't it?
20:49You look so sexy in those glasses, Paul.
20:53Honestly, you look nothing like Ant-Man or some sort of insect.
20:56I do look like a wasp or something, don't I?
20:58Yeah, you're a very waspy character, actually.
21:02Oh, blimey, Ted.
21:03What are we going to do with him?
21:05Ted isn't in great length.
21:06No, all right, Bob.
21:07He's in here shortly.
21:09Mind you, he's quite deaf now.
21:11Yeah.
21:11But he doesn't look very well, does he?
21:13But he does seem happy.
21:16He does, actually, doesn't he?
21:17He does seem happy.
21:17Well, I'd say content.
21:19Content.
21:23When my son went to see Grandad in hospital,
21:27afterwards, he said to me he was glad he had,
21:29because he said,
21:30I've got to get used to loss, you know?
21:34Oh, wow.
21:35When he was a really young boy,
21:37suddenly, one day, I walked up the stairs
21:40and there was a window there,
21:41and he'd put, he'd put, stuck little letters up,
21:44saying, Tina, see you, see you in the future.
21:48And it was our little cat, Tina, had died.
21:50Oh, wow.
21:50And I know he was really affected by it.
21:53Right.
21:53And it's tough when you, it's tough when a pet dies.
21:56It's really tough.
21:58Mm-hmm.
21:58Because as your friendships come and go,
22:01you know, or you've got to,
22:02you've failed to maintain them, or you do,
22:03Yeah.
22:04You know, but your friendship with your pet is so pure,
22:07do you know what I mean?
22:07Oh, no, that's a very valid point.
22:10It's the devotion that they show.
22:12So you don't get from any other living creature, really, do you?
22:16Heartbreaking.
22:17Mm.
22:23It is brilliant to have a friend like you, you know, Paul.
22:26Don't have a go at me for saying it.
22:28It's amazing.
22:29Ant-man, wasp-face, wizened little walnut.
22:33Yeah, but...
22:34Yeah?
22:35That's because you like me, that you allow me to do it.
22:38I can take it, Bob.
22:39Really, I really can take it.
22:41Don't worry, mate. Imagine a world without friendship,
22:43because a lot of people live in that world, Paul.
22:45Oh, yeah, that's true, Bobby.
22:47I'm just hanging on to it with you.
22:48You are fingernails, innit?
22:50But, well, thanks for that, Bob, and I feel the same.
22:52You know that, don't you?
22:54You do know that, don't you, Bob?
22:55I do. We only come out to see each other, I know it really.
22:58Yeah.
22:58Hey, Teddy.
23:16Dr. Anand's coming today.
23:18Oh, right, he's here, is he?
23:19Yeah.
23:19Oh, OK.
23:20Don't you tell Anand I've been having salami.
23:25Oh, he won't like that, will he?
23:27Well, I've just had a chocolate biscuit.
23:28That's probably not much good, either.
23:30You're going to mention it, aren't you?
23:31No, I'm not.
23:32We'll see.
23:33Let's see how it all plays out, Bob.
23:35I know what you're like, so...
23:36You think the first thing I'm going to say to Anand is,
23:38Paul's just had a chocolate biscuit?
23:39Paul's just had a chocolate biscuit.
23:40And it's not.
23:41The first thing I'll say is,
23:43you know what Paul's done?
23:47He's only got an added chocolate biscuit, have he?
23:51Anandos, and I should say,
23:52oh, that's fine.
23:53Anandos?
23:58Chicken and prescriptions.
23:59I really haven't had Anandos, Anand.
24:02Chickens and prescriptions.
24:08Anand!
24:09There he is.
24:10I'm following Ted in.
24:11Look, Ted's leading the way.
24:12It's all easy.
24:13I know, easy.
24:14I've got trainers on.
24:15Oh, done fishing, Doctor.
24:17How lovely to see you.
24:17Lovely to be seen.
24:18I don't want to trip over, Ted.
24:19I don't want to trip over, Ted.
24:24You look like one of the prettiest gnomes I've ever seen.
24:27Don't you think, Bob?
24:28A little wood nymph.
24:31I'll take that in whatever spirit he meant to you.
24:33All day long, yeah.
24:34So, Anand, the first thing I wanted to ask genuinely is,
24:37is just earlier today,
24:39Paul had two chocolate biscuits and some cake.
24:45He said, right, first of all, it was one chocolate biscuit.
24:48Was it?
24:49Sure.
24:49And I just had a little cherry out of the cake.
24:52That's all I nibbled, right?
24:53He had cake and salami.
24:56I'm not here to police you.
24:58Well, we wish you would.
25:01People don't like being nagged.
25:02Yeah.
25:02So, what I'm here to do is I'm here to steer you, hopefully,
25:05in a direction.
25:06And if you want to take my advice, take my advice.
25:07If you don't win, that's absolutely fine.
25:09But equally, you know, we've all got to make our choices
25:11and deal with the consequences.
25:13It is a bit of compromise, isn't it?
25:14I was always told, if 80% of your diet is good,
25:17you're allowed 20% to do, you know,
25:19indulge yourself.
25:20See, I tell myself 70-30,
25:22so I give myself a little bit more leeway.
25:23I'll hand it over to your wife.
25:26Just some general things that have interested me recently,
25:29Alan, was a lot of people around me
25:31are taking vitamin supplements.
25:33Yes.
25:33All sorts of supplements.
25:35Somehow, I don't believe that that pill or liquid
25:37is the same as a leaf of spinach.
25:39I don't think it is.
25:40I don't think it is, Bob.
25:42So, you're absolutely right.
25:43Supplements are brilliant if you've got a deficient diet.
25:46The supplements you need need to be tailored to your age range
25:49and they need to be tailored to whatever disease is going on.
25:52Or your diet, for example.
25:54If you're vegetarian or vegan, you might lack protein.
25:57You might lack calcium if you don't eat dairy.
26:00So, it's kind of like, well, what do we need?
26:01And if you're a 70-kilo, 65-year-old,
26:03you need to be taking 70 to 80 grams of protein per day.
26:07You should be getting some of that if you eat meat,
26:09from meat and a bit of oily fish,
26:11from lentils, pulses, eggs, cheese.
26:14You know, all those sources are good sources of protein.
26:16And why particularly for older people?
26:18So, as you get older, your ability to hold on to muscle gets less.
26:22So, you get something, what's called sarcopenia,
26:24where literally your muscles start to dissolve away as you get older.
26:27And having poorer muscle strength, which we're going to test in a bit,
26:30is linked to living longer.
26:32So, actually, if your muscle strength is poorer,
26:34you actually become frail.
26:36And frailty is basically a condition where any small change to your health
26:39could knock you over into losing independent living.
26:41And that could be like, you know, you can't live in your own home anymore.
26:44You can't do stairs.
26:45So, I've got a little testing thing here.
26:47We're just going to use your grip strength.
26:49And they did a study of 150,000 people.
26:52And they found that your grip strength is a better marker
26:55of your long-term health than your blood pressure.
26:57Really?
26:57So, that's why I brought it today, just to see...
26:59Because it's such an easy thing to do.
27:01Yeah, yeah.
27:01You can get these online so easily.
27:03I'm excited.
27:04Do you want to have a go?
27:04Yeah.
27:05Do you want it?
27:05Marvellous.
27:05OK.
27:06The idea is that you hold it like that, at right angles.
27:09Right.
27:09OK, and what you're doing is squeezing as hard as you can when I say now.
27:13So, ready?
27:14And on three.
27:15One, two, three, go.
27:17Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.
27:20Good man.
27:2228.2.
27:23Yeah, that's the bad one.
27:25Obviously, this is not necessarily the perfect test if you've got hand arthritis.
27:28Yeah, yeah.
27:29But 28.2, what that means is that you have a level of sort of hand strength and fitness
27:34that is above the minimum level, which is really important.
27:37The minimum level for men is kind of about 25 kilograms, and it's 18 for women.
27:42Right.
27:43If yours is below that, you're actually really at high risk of having low muscle mass.
27:47You're more likely to fall over, more likely to break your hip, more likely to lose your
27:50mobility, and more likely to end up in a home.
27:53So, it's really important.
27:54I'm worried now.
27:54You're going to smash me at a bases on this.
27:57Right.
27:57So, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze,
28:00squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.
28:01Done.
28:0243.
28:0343!
28:03Jeez, I'll never hear the end of it.
28:06Can I just say, can I just say, that is the sign of a healthy level of muscle at your
28:11age.
28:11That's fantastic.
28:12Oh, please.
28:1343.9.
28:15That's amazing.
28:1615 seconds ago, I thought I'm heading to a care home.
28:19No, mate, no.
28:20Now I'm striding past it saying, hello, Paul.
28:22Yeah.
28:25Hey, Lan, wouldn't you have a bit of mulled wine?
28:27I'd love a bit of mulled wine.
28:29I made this myself on my farm.
28:32No, you didn't.
28:32Correct.
28:37Well, thank you so much for coming.
28:39Merry Christmas.
28:39For our backside consultations.
28:41They're a joy.
28:43Look how pleased you are.
28:47Yeah.
28:47There's a kind of musty smell around.
29:04I can only imagine it's you, Bob.
29:07Be slightly more, what do you mean?
29:09Is it biscuity?
29:10Is it biscuit?
29:12Oxo-cubin old man.
29:14Yeah, well, I had an oxo-cubin with biscuits, and I'm an old man.
29:17And you're an old man.
29:18Well, there we are.
29:18Got it spot on, then.
29:22Let's have a smell of you.
29:23Go on, then.
29:26What do you reckon?
29:27Don't know.
29:27Have you been eating eggs?
29:29Oh, no.
29:30That's probably trapped wind in me waders, isn't it?
29:33Oh, great.
29:33Yeah.
29:36I'm going to have to go off and get the awards ceremony ready.
29:40Oh, OK.
29:41Be smart, though, Paul.
29:42Yeah?
29:43What, for the awards?
29:44Yeah, and be respectful of the occasion.
29:46I've arranged transport for you.
29:48Don't you worry.
29:49Well, will the occasion respect me?
29:51Of course it will.
29:53Ish.
29:53Yeah.
29:55See you at the awards, Paul.
29:57I cannot wait.
29:59We should have an award for wrist strength.
30:01The hopes we had were much too high.
30:07We're out of reach, but we have to try.
30:13The game will never be over.
30:18Because we're keeping the dream alive.
30:22How are you there?
30:27Hey, mate.
30:27How are you?
30:28Lovely to see you.
30:28You're OK.
30:29Lovely to see you.
30:30Welcome.
30:31Thanks for having us, Paul.
30:32I was actually looking for Rick Steyer's place.
30:34Yeah.
30:34Just down there.
30:37But listen, I am absolutely honoured that you've chosen us for these prestigious awards.
30:42And aren't they?
30:43Yeah.
30:44They are.
30:44So come on in.
30:53A Cornish Christmas dinner.
30:55That's what we're looking for.
30:56Yeah.
30:57Well, this is a Cornish Christmas dinner.
30:58Right.
30:59With a difference.
31:00Because we're going to replace what people would ordinarily probably have in turkey, hams, beef.
31:05We're going to do a whole baked turbot, but with all the trimmings.
31:10Yeah.
31:10And a lovely sort of turbot chicken gravy.
31:12Wow.
31:13Which you're going to help me to do.
31:14Yes, please.
31:19I mean, I've got five BAFTAs.
31:21Five.
31:22But nothing beats a gone fishing lifetime achievement.
31:27Just like to thank my family, but most of all, Ted, for being such a stalwart companion.
31:35Grab that, will ya?
31:36With cooking, it always starts at the beginning, building up those layers of flavour.
31:41Yeah.
31:41So in here, we've got some rosemary and thyme.
31:43All right.
31:44So what we do is, we just take some of that rosemary and thyme.
31:46Yep.
31:47Then rub it between our hands.
31:48Because what, all herbs, they contain essential oils.
31:52So if you just have a smell of that now.
31:53Lovely.
31:54All right?
31:54Just get that into our garlic, our shallots.
31:56Beginning to smell like Christmas.
31:58How much does a kitchen like this cost?
32:01Half a million pounds.
32:02Ooh!
32:04Yeah.
32:05Oops.
32:06Sell some food then.
32:07Yeah.
32:08Yeah.
32:08Come on, Ted.
32:09Come on, I can hardly contain myself.
32:15I don't know about you.
32:16I've come in my own time, son.
32:20Afternoon, sir.
32:22Can I come aboard?
32:23Whoa, look at that fella.
32:31It's a beauty.
32:32Yes, it is.
32:34So that's what a turbot looks like.
32:35Yeah, that's a turbot.
32:36We regard this as king of the sea.
32:38Right.
32:38It's just superior in flavour.
32:41With it being Christmas, I've got a lovely Cornish sparkling wine in with the onions.
32:45All right?
32:46Lay the turbot on top and bake in the oven.
32:49Right.
32:50Let's do this.
33:00That lovely, Ted.
33:01Look, there's Padstow over there.
33:02That's where we're going.
33:03Apparently, that's where the big ceremony is.
33:07Ah!
33:08Hey!
33:10Good foot.
33:12Good boy.
33:14You know I'm up for the next James Bond, don't you?
33:16Oh, do me a favour.
33:26Cut a dash, don't I, mate, eh?
33:29You said you're deaf as opposed, didn't you?
33:31Pardon?
33:36Right, let's get these cabbages on.
33:37So we're just going to brush them with a little bit of butter.
33:40Right.
33:40And then I want you to put them that side down on the barbecue.
33:44Perfect.
33:44And we've just lightly steamed these cabbages.
33:47Right.
33:48So that they're nice and cooked and we just get flavour from the barbecue.
33:52That's beautiful.
33:53Yes, now we're cooking.
33:56Come, Ted.
33:58Come on.
33:58Walk.
33:59There he is.
34:00This is the place, little old man.
34:02I'll tell you what, you know, dogs aren't normally allowed in here.
34:04Come on.
34:05I'm allowed anywhere I want, mate.
34:07I'll go anywhere I like.
34:08South London, East London, South of France, Choraiso, Venezuela.
34:12All right.
34:13All right.
34:13All right.
34:25Sorry.
34:26Lady Bird.
34:27Good evening, sir.
34:29Hello.
34:29What do you want?
34:31Well, could I look at the menu or see the wine list?
34:34Would you like to see the wine list?
34:35Yeah, I would.
34:36There you go.
34:38Actually, we don't serve wine to the over 80s.
34:42It can put them into shock.
34:46Are you a halfwit or something?
34:47Some people say so.
34:49I'm not surprised.
34:50Will you be requiring the entertainment tonight, sir?
34:55Oh, well, yeah.
34:56I see you've got a hound with you.
34:57No hounds.
34:58Yeah, no, he's got a special dispensation.
35:01He's not any old hound.
35:02Who is he then?
35:03He's Ted.
35:04Ted the dog?
35:05Yeah.
35:05He's actually a sort of guest of Bob Mortimer's.
35:12Who did you say?
35:14You're so easy, aren't you?
35:15Bob Mortimer.
35:16It's you, isn't it?
35:17It's you.
35:18Yeah.
35:18Ah.
35:19You can see a wine list.
35:21Yeah.
35:21Thank you, sir.
35:22There you go.
35:23Thank you very much.
35:24I've been preparing, going to call it a Cornish Christmas dinner.
35:28Not what you might expect.
35:30Really?
35:30Have you been helping in the kitchen?
35:32I've been helping, yeah.
35:32Have you?
35:33Because I heard the fire alarm go off.
35:35Yeah.
35:35What did you do?
35:36I was burning cabbage.
35:38Oh, it really?
35:39Yeah.
35:39Oh, that will do it then.
35:44What do I need?
35:44Looking forward to this.
35:45Oh, this way.
35:46It looks amazing.
35:49Cheers.
35:50Oh, it didn't clink.
35:52That's fancy glasses.
35:53Isn't it?
35:54Wow.
35:57Oh, look at that.
35:59Oh, thank you so much.
36:00Roast turbot.
36:01With all the trimmings.
36:02Roast turbot.
36:03And there you have it.
36:06Enjoy.
36:07And thank you for your help, Bob.
36:08No worries.
36:09Thank you, Paul.
36:10Mom going in.
36:11Come on.
36:11Oh.
36:12Mm.
36:13Tire of that is amazing.
36:15You really do spoil me, Bob.
36:17Well, work stews come along once a year.
36:20We might as well make the most of it, Paul.
36:23How many categories are there this year?
36:25Two.
36:26So, that'd be quick, yeah?
36:33There will be laughter and prizes galore.
36:37Who's going to miss and who's going to score?
36:41It's the gunfishing annual awards.
36:49Who loves you, baby?
36:52First up, Paul.
36:54Employee of the year.
36:55This is the trophy you won last year.
36:58So, it has to be returned, I'm afraid.
37:01Oh, no.
37:02I don't really want to give it back, Bob.
37:03It's become such a part of my life, but...
37:05Here we go.
37:07Nominations are...
37:08Let's see.
37:10Woo, woo, woo!
37:11Yeah!
37:11Let's fish.
37:13Ah!
37:13Ah!
37:14Yeah, you got me.
37:15First cast, you got me, Bob.
37:16Well, why were you still there?
37:17Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob.
37:18Yes, I know.
37:19There you go.
37:20You're in, then, without knowing.
37:21That's angling, Paul.
37:22Do you like watching me fish sort of?
37:24Yeah, you can learn, can't you?
37:26Yeah.
37:28Yes, he's in!
37:29Yes!
37:30Do not wind.
37:31Do not wind, Bob.
37:33I'm not winding, I'm just tidying up the reel.
37:37There's my dancing, that's specialist stuff there.
37:39Wallow heads!
37:41Wow, he's fresh.
37:42Look at the colours of that.
37:43Whoa!
37:45Ted's arriving in style, isn't he?
37:46Yeah, well, he's at...
37:47No, it's going to be Ted, isn't it?
37:48Of course it's going to be Ted.
37:49I'm only on time, all right?
37:51You look so heroic.
37:53Oh, look at that guy.
37:54Oh, jeez!
37:55Oh, hey!
37:57Oh, f***!
37:58Oh, there's a fault.
37:59Oh, there's another.
38:01What's that salmon, is it?
38:02Not for you, Ted.
38:03Yeah, but it is.
38:05I'm pleased yourselves.
38:07Cool, haven't we had some laughs?
38:09Haven't we had some laughs?
38:10Oh, this is the moment.
38:14Yeah?
38:15Go on.
38:18And the winner is...
38:21Bob Mortimer.
38:23Oh!
38:24Yes, please!
38:26Wow!
38:27It's a revelation.
38:29Oh, come on, Paul.
38:30It's well-deserved.
38:31I'm so pleased for you, Bob.
38:32And there's a trophy as well.
38:33Oh, for God.
38:34It's actually a crown.
38:40Oh, that feels good.
38:41Hey, there we are.
38:42Did one of the jewels just fall off?
38:44Yeah, it did.
38:44Heavy is the head that wears a crown in your case, isn't it?
38:48The size of it.
38:49The size of the...
38:49Your head, I mean.
38:51Well, there we are.
38:52There's one category down.
38:53Let's not prolong the agony.
38:55Let's crack on.
38:55I'll take this off out of respect for the award, OK?
38:58OK, thank you.
38:59Because the next award is...
39:01That's...
39:02This is a biggie.
39:03Lifetime achievement.
39:04If you've given it to yourself,
39:06I'm walking out of this restaurant.
39:08I'm never looking back.
39:09Don't walk out, Paul.
39:10I'm going to, Bob.
39:11If you've given it to yourself...
39:13Let's have a look.
39:13Oh, let's have a look at this.
39:14Let's have a look.
39:16Ted.
39:17Cute little Billy.
39:18Billy, I thought that name is a guy.
39:22You coming fishing with us, Ted?
39:24Teddy.
39:24Mind the rod.
39:26Well, this is worse than me, isn't he?
39:28Can you shift over a bit, Ted?
39:30What's he actually achieved?
39:32Well, he's had a lifetime, hasn't he?
39:33Oh, yeah, I suppose.
39:35Teddy, fetch.
39:36Go on.
39:37Nah.
39:37Is Ted a dog?
39:40He's a species all of his own, aren't you, Ted?
39:42You all right, Ted?
39:45It's like we've super-glued him there, isn't it?
39:47Look, you can move, Ted.
39:49Yeah, it's Ted, isn't it?
39:50Well, yes, I think it's Ted.
39:51You're not going to come sort of...
39:53...blindside and win, are you?
39:55Well, I don't think so.
39:56I haven't opened the envelope yet.
39:57Look at the state of him.
40:00And that's when he went insane.
40:01Remember, you have always got us two.
40:06That's right, Ted.
40:07Yeah.
40:08Well, let's just confirm it, Paul.
40:10The winner is Ted.
40:12Well deserved, Ted.
40:14Well done, Ted.
40:14Absolutely.
40:15If ever there was a winner there was,
40:17then Ted's the winner there was.
40:18There was.
40:19Yeah.
40:19Teddy, you've got a crown.
40:20Wow.
40:23Let's present ourselves to the camera, Ted.
40:25The kings of the show.
40:29There is someone else on the show, isn't there, Ted?
40:33Yeah, I don't know.
40:35He's just sort of a shadow.
40:39Oh, don't go, Paul.
40:41You might win next year.
40:47He's off.
40:47We are the champions.
40:51No time for losing.
40:55Come on, Ted.
41:04That's one of Paul's.
41:05Leave it alone.
41:06Come on.
41:06Breakfast, Paul.
41:30I'll put a little bit of holly on yours to cheer you up after last night.
41:36You're not bitter, are you, Paul?
41:37I've forgotten all that.
41:38I'm an adult, Bob, so no, I'm not bitter.
41:40It just reflects badly on you, you know.
41:43We've got a long drive today.
41:44We're going west, west, west, west, west.
41:46Where are we going?
41:47Mousehole.
41:48But do you know what they call it, the Cornish people?
41:51It'll be muzzle or something like that, is it?
41:52Not far off, actually.
41:53Mousel.
41:54Mousel.
41:55Mousel.
41:55But for you and me, it will forever be...
41:58Mousehole.
41:59Mousel.
42:00Oh, you pet.
42:01Right.
42:02Come on.
42:11If I had a deep voice, I would sing a ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-boo.
42:18All day long I'd sing a ling-a-ling, if I had a very deep voice.
42:25If I had a high voice, I would yodel, loodle, loodle, loodle, loodle, loodle, loodle.
42:35We're going to pass by a place called St. Michael's Mount.
42:38You know, one of them islands off the sea?
42:41Shall we stop and give Ted a walk?
42:43I mean, I'm seizing up here, aren't you?
42:45I wouldn't mind a leg stretch, Bob.
42:55Come on, Ted, you got it.
42:57Come on, let's go.
42:58Come on, Ted.
43:01Come on, Ted.
43:07Bah, humbug, well, that's too strong, because it is my favorite holiday.
43:11But all this year's been a busy blur, don't think I have the energy.
43:15Brad, am I already mad rush, just because it's the season.
43:19The perfect gift for me would be completions and connections left from last year.
43:25There's your first little look at Mousel.
43:28Oh, look.
43:30Quintessentially Cornish.
43:34Car, it wasn't designed for the car, was it, Bob?
43:37Getting on everyone's nerves.
43:39We're trying to enjoy this peaceful town.
43:42I know.
43:43Oh, look at those boats as well, aren't they lovely?
43:45I love a painted boat, don't you, Bob?
43:46Yeah, sweet.
43:47See that light blue? That's a nice one.
43:49You know, in...
43:50Oh, that's a nice one. Look, the black and yellow.
43:53Yeah.
43:55Don't like that one.
43:56Taking me out on the boat, aren't you?
43:58I am.
43:58Last chance to catch a fish.
44:02Come on, Teddy.
44:04Wow.
44:05What a morning, Oval.
44:06What a morning.
44:07Now, the guy we're going out with today on the boat, Neil,
44:10he's got a very special relationship with Mousel.
44:12He's a Mousel boy.
44:14Yeah.
44:14His dad was on the boat that went out in 1991, Penley disaster,
44:20where all the lifeboatmen were lost at sea.
44:23I mean, I have heard of that, yeah.
44:25And the boat they went to rescue as well went down.
44:27So, proper tragedy.
44:29He'll have a tell-to-tell then.
44:30He certainly will, mate.
44:31Neil!
44:39Hello, Neil.
44:40Morning, gentlemen.
44:41Thank you so much, Neil, for having us on board.
44:43Hey, Neil.
44:44Happy to meet you.
44:44Paul.
44:45I can't remember his name.
44:48What's our chances today, Neil?
44:50It's fishing, guys.
44:51You know that.
44:52Yeah.
44:52It's not called catch, it's fishing.
44:53But we've got a good chance of catching a mack or two,
44:55and maybe a paddock or two.
44:56We'll see what we can do.
44:58You've got an involvement with the Penley disaster, haven't you?
45:01Yeah, my father was lost on the Penley lifeboat,
45:03and I was turned away that night.
45:05I was a lifeboatman when I was only 17.
45:08But like everyone, every man, when I was 17, I knew everything.
45:11Yeah.
45:11You've got to remember, I've been playing rain in boats
45:13since I was four or five years old.
45:14That's all I've ever done.
45:15Trevely in the coxswain refused to take me.
45:18He refused to take two from one family, so I was turned away.
45:21Wow.
45:21And your dad was lost?
45:22My dad was lost, yeah.
45:23I mean, never forget them.
45:24I'm fiercely proud of what they did that night.
45:25Oh, yeah, of course, yeah.
45:27The weather conditions was the worst in living memory.
45:29I've never seen weather like that.
45:30How old was your dad, Neil?
45:31My dad was 42.
45:33Ah, I think.
45:34Oh, my God.
45:35Of course, all of them, they're all family, friends, all...
45:37Yeah, of course, it's such a small community,
45:38and tight, obviously, it has to be, doesn't it?
45:40It completely changed Mousel forever.
45:43Mousel never recovered from that.
45:44Oh.
45:46Do you do anything to sort of celebrate the memory of those people?
45:49On the 19th, we have the famous Christmas lights,
45:51and they're dimmed, and we have our own memories,
45:53and all you have your own, like, little, you know.
45:55Yeah.
45:55Let's fish today in memory of your dad.
45:57Yeah, we'll do that.
45:58See if we can get something for it.
45:59Over there, Bob, look.
46:20You see that cross, and I think that's a...
46:22Oh, yeah.
46:22That's a memorial light to the Penley victims.
46:25Oh, right.
46:25What we're doing, we're trying for a pallet,
46:39and we've got some silver shrimp on.
46:42I've hit the bottom, so I'll put that over now.
46:44Yeah, put that over there.
46:44Just wind up a little bit.
46:47And the idea is to wind up nice and slowly
46:49to keep that lure moving all the time.
46:51I keep winding all the way.
46:52Yeah.
46:57Couldn't have picked a better day for it.
46:59Oh, we're lucky, aren't we?
47:00We're lucky, lads.
47:03Ted's loving it.
47:04He, mate, loving this.
47:06He's having a good time, isn't he?
47:07I'm searching for the bottom, Paul.
47:31Oh, I'm hitting the bottom there.
47:32And I'm going to fish down there for a bit.
47:34Yeah.
47:43It will be funny, Christmas this year,
47:45without Grandad there.
47:46Yeah, yeah.
47:47It's strange.
47:48You know, you hear that some older people
47:51who kind of know they're on their last legs
47:53want to get a last Christmas in.
47:54Well, that's exactly, yeah, I'm pretty sure
47:57that's what happened with my parents.
47:58They both died.
47:59Yeah.
48:00On the same date.
48:01I mean, years apart.
48:03But January the 5th.
48:05Yeah.
48:06I mean, I don't know how sentient my mum was about
48:09or conscious of Christmas,
48:11but it's an extraordinary coincidence that...
48:17Because that's supposed to be, isn't it,
48:18that time of year is...
48:20Yeah.
48:20And I wonder if people have just managed to hold on.
48:23Hold on.
48:23Have Christmas.
48:25See the familiar faces one last time.
48:28Yeah.
48:29Well, we'll never know, really, probably.
48:33My dear old dad always said to me,
48:35and I've always tried to live my life like it,
48:36just be nice, that's all you've got to do.
48:38Yeah.
48:39Treat people as you want to be treated.
48:40You can't go far wrong, I don't think.
48:41Yeah.
48:42True, mate.
48:44Paul treats me pretty bad.
48:45Does he?
48:46Yeah.
48:46I've seen that, yeah.
48:47He's for his own good, though, Neil.
48:52Keep him on his toes.
48:54Yeah.
48:59Come on, you're not fishing very well.
49:01Sort yourself out.
49:02Come on, Bob.
49:04The people of Mousel depend on you.
49:06This could be our last chance, you know.
49:08I know.
49:10Neil wants to get to the bookies.
49:14Is there a bookies in Mousel?
49:16No.
49:18We had three grocery shops, a shoe shop,
49:21two butchers when I grew up.
49:23There's none anymore.
49:24No shoes?
49:25They're all gone.
49:26Should we do a pit launch and a pail?
49:28Send shoes to Mousel?
49:29Yeah.
49:41Oh!
49:42Oh.
49:43He's in.
49:44That might be the bottom, actually.
49:45Come on.
49:49I don't know what it is.
49:50Shall I wind in or keep going?
49:52Couple of mackerel here, look.
49:54Have you got mackerel?
49:54Yeah.
49:55Well done, Paul.
49:56All right, let's get that hand twisted.
49:58Look!
49:58Woo-hoo!
49:59Mackerel!
50:00Two mackerel!
50:01Look at that!
50:02Fresh as pain.
50:03Look at them.
50:04Oh, you mind your fingers.
50:05Wow!
50:06It's a very pretty fish, you know, Paul.
50:08It really is.
50:09Let me take the rod for you.
50:09Yeah, you grab that.
50:10Wow, look at it.
50:12Electric fish, isn't it?
50:14What a creature.
50:16Amazing.
50:17Wow!
50:17That's what we've come for, and that is our first ever mackerel.
50:21Wow!
50:22Look at the sheen on it.
50:24It took us seven or eight years.
50:29It's been brilliant now.
50:30It's been lovely.
50:31What a glorious day.
50:32But we've got our Christmas night to compile.
50:34Oh-ho-ho!
50:35What have you got lined up for me, Bob?
50:37You'll have to wait and see.
50:39Oh, well, well, well.
50:41Excited.
50:41Maybe this Christmas will mean something more
50:46Maybe this year
50:49Love will appear
50:51Deeper than ever before
50:55And maybe forget
50:58Wind yourself down here, Paul.
51:02Halt.
51:03Because we are staying here.
51:06Lovely.
51:07Do you know what it is?
51:08No.
51:08Quaint.
51:09Quaint's a good description.
51:10Yeah, it is, isn't it?
51:11Quaint works.
51:12Come on in.
51:14Maybe this Christmas...
51:15Woo!
51:16Whoa!
51:19Christmas is here, Bob.
51:22Oh, how lovely.
51:23That is just what I ordered.
51:25Christmas vibe.
51:26Hello, Christmas.
51:28Lovely.
51:30Ooh.
51:30You manage those stairs, old-timer.
51:32Yeah, not too bad.
51:34Oh, this is lovely.
51:36Look at this.
51:36Oh, a little living room.
51:38Nice.
51:39Twin beds.
51:39Have you brought your twins?
51:41Here, this is a nice one.
51:43Harbour view.
51:45Bob, look at this.
51:47All the way up.
51:48Oh, yeah.
51:50Wow.
51:51I look after you.
51:52I really look after you.
51:53Don't you?
51:53Don't you, mate?
51:54Happy Christmas.
51:56Where's my briefcase?
51:57I'll give you a clue, Ted.
51:59It's right here.
52:00Ha, ha, ha, ha.
52:01Here we go.
52:03Holdy.
52:07It's Laurel and Holdy, isn't it?
52:09Ha, ha, ha.
52:10Watch your ears, Ted.
52:22Nice.
52:23A few more leaves.
52:27Come on, old-timer.
52:29Oh, look at this.
52:29Cool.
52:30Who have you had in?
52:31Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen?
52:32No.
52:33It's amazing.
52:34Look at that.
52:35Cheers for a lovely Christmas trip.
52:36Yeah.
52:37Is this Cornish Champagne?
52:48Mm.
52:49I've got your present, Paul.
52:51Have you?
52:51Yeah.
52:52Is that okay?
52:53I think it is, because I've got one for you.
52:55Would you like it?
52:58Yes, please.
52:59Do you think you deserve it?
52:59Yes, I do.
53:00Even after all your gloating with your crowns
53:03and your self-aggrandisation,
53:04you still think you deserve a present?
53:06If you don't want to give it to us, don't.
53:08Of course I do, Bob,
53:08because I am give, give, give.
53:12Ooh.
53:13Ooh.
53:15Go on, then.
53:17Yep.
53:19There it is.
53:20Oh, it's a clonker.
53:21It is, hasn't it?
53:22It suits me.
53:23It's gentleman-y.
53:24And if you get annoyed with me,
53:26you can just go...
53:27like that.
53:29And if I've made a mistake in the bath,
53:30we can just quickly move it.
53:32Go better.
53:34Thank you very much.
53:35I can tell this is actually rather beautiful, Bob.
53:37It is a cracker, isn't it?
53:38Walnut?
53:39Yeah.
53:39No, do you want one?
53:40Oh!
53:42It's just there on the plate.
53:44Thank you very much.
53:45Oh, no, it's a beauty, isn't it?
53:46That makes me so happy.
53:48I mean, it is lovely,
53:49but mine's a better present.
53:51Happy Christmas to you.
53:52Competitive, Bob.
53:52Thank you, Bob.
53:54I wonder what this is.
53:55You like it.
53:55Hope you like it.
53:56Is it a picture of Bob in a crown?
53:58It's a gunfishing calendar.
53:59It's nice.
54:05Do you see?
54:05I thought I'd make you look nice.
54:07I see.
54:08Well, I look pretty good like that.
54:09Don't I?
54:09I look like Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen, don't I?
54:11Yeah.
54:11Just relaxing in front of some books.
54:13There's a nice one of you, isn't it?
54:18Isn't that nice, you and Ted?
54:24Oh, you look quite short there, don't you?
54:26A little tiny head.
54:30Oh!
54:31Look at that.
54:32Boom!
54:35That was a bit rude boy mode there, wasn't it?
54:37Yeah, I thought you'd like that one.
54:39I tell you what, Bob,
54:41it's not far off, is it?
54:43Well, thank you.
54:45What a treat.
54:47I should probably go and get our little meal.
54:49Go on, then.
54:50We're going to have turkey and some cake.
54:53Oh.
54:54It's a beauty, isn't it?
54:55My favourite meal of the Christmas period.
55:01Oh!
55:02Go on, slice me off some breast.
55:05Beautiful.
55:05Nicely cooked.
55:06Oh, it is, isn't it?
55:07Look at that.
55:08Lovely, yeah.
55:11Ah!
55:11Ah, you cheeky fella.
55:14It's actually a turkey cake.
55:15It's a turkey cake.
55:16It's a turkey cake.
55:18Oh, lovely.
55:19Isn't that sensational?
55:20I'm going in.
55:21Well done, Bob, a lovely bit of trickery there.
55:23Christmas trickery.
55:24Lovely, mate.
55:25Because you know Christmas is a time when you can be a little bit naughty.
55:29Ten for a week.
55:31Do you want a carrot?
55:32Go on.
55:34Hold on a minute.
55:35Hold on.
55:36Wait a minute.
55:38Wait a minute, you two tricksters.
55:41What are you doing to me?
55:42Well, bloody hell, that's the nicest carrot I've ever had.
55:44LAUGHTER
55:45LAUGHTER
55:45LAUGHTER
55:46MUSIC
55:47PRETTY BY THE END
55:47PRETTY BY THE END
55:51PRETTY BY THE END
55:55Of our Cornish Christmas trip, Bob.
55:57It is.
55:58How are you feeling about going home?
55:59Because it's going to be your first Christmas?
56:02Without your granddad?
56:03It will be different.
56:04And we'll all miss him.
56:05Yeah.
56:06And it will never be the same again.
56:08No.
56:08But we'll pull a cracker.
56:10Yeah.
56:10On his anniversary.
56:11He liked a cracker.
56:13Well, it's actually good to have very fond, positive memories of people, you know.
56:18I do with my parents.
56:20Those...my parents, your granddad, they had a long life, so...
56:24Did have a long life.
56:25Yeah.
56:25And here's a nice thing, is round our Christmas table when the boys were young and granddad was sat there,
56:32the little boys and granddad would always wear their paper hat.
56:36Right.
56:37We were all too vain and full of ourselves.
56:40Yeah.
56:40But all granddad and the kids.
56:42And the boys.
56:43That's what granddad's for, really.
56:44Granddads are for wearing paper hats.
56:45Sit there, be quiet, put the hat on, granddad.
56:47LAUGHTER
56:48And carry them home, home, home from the sea.
56:55Angel of mercy, answer our plea.
56:58Can you hear that?
57:00I can, yeah.
57:01Yeah.
57:02Some singing.
57:03Yeah.
57:03What have you done?
57:05Come with me to the window.
57:06We're a final Christmas spectacular.
57:10Come on, mate.
57:13Joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, joy to the world.
57:21The Mousehole Male Voice Choir.
57:26Oh, I love a male voice.
57:32I know you do.
57:33I know you do.
57:34Let the heart prepare him room.
57:38Joy to the world, the Saviour reigns.
57:44Let all their songs implore.
57:49Happy Christmas, Paul.
57:50Merry Christmas, Paul, mate.
57:51Merry Christmas.
57:51Thanks, mate.
57:52What an amazing truth.
57:53Joy, joy, joy, joy, joy.
57:59Joy.
58:06And Merry Christmas to you all.
58:09Thank you very much.
58:10And the way.
58:11Cheers and go on.
58:12Cheers and go on.
58:14There's no more little secrets
58:18We haven't yet disclosed
58:21We bother living daylights
58:24I bet it one too close
58:27And all our cards of Christmas
58:30Are written to us both
58:33Count them out
58:36Who's got the most?
58:40Said we'd be close
58:42Said we'd work perfectly
58:45Said that we'd be close
58:47Celebrities in a spin for Michael McIntyre's Christmas Wheel
58:50Christmas Day at a quarter to seven
58:52A chill in the air next on BBC Two Wales
58:55New from Mark Gatiss
58:57Who else?
58:58A ghost story for Christmas
59:00To the child that she'll smother
59:03It's too close for a lover
59:06It's too close for a lover
59:09We are each other
59:12New from Mark Gatiss
59:17The
59:20The
59:21The
59:32The
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