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Tv, Mind Your Language - S02 - E08 - After Three
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00:00Satsang with Mooji
00:30Do-do-do-do-do-do-wa!
00:32Do-do-do-do-do-do-wa!
00:34Ha-ha-ha!
00:36Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
00:38Ha-ha-ha-ha!
00:40Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
00:42Ha-ha-ha-ha!
00:48Enter?
00:52Enter?
00:54Did you say enter?
00:56Did you ever think of getting a hearing aid, Sidney?
00:58getting a hearing aid to Sydney. big pun? oh never mind. I brought the stockroom key back.
01:03thank you. don't forget it's the school concert this week. pun? the school concert. oh I'll get
01:10the hall ready. good. I wonder what mr. Brown's class is going to do. has he mentioned anything
01:15to you? oh not a dicky bird. no no. as a matter I don't think anyone want to do anything. oh that's
01:20nonsense. every class is expected to put on some sort of show. better tell mr. Brown to come and
01:24see me at tea break. pardon? tea break. oh is it? oh I can do with a papa. see you later. right now pay attention everyone. as you may recall when last we met I gave you each for your homework a different task to do over the weekend. I hope you've all done them.
01:40good. well I want you each in turn to stand up and give me a report on your various activities. all right? now who'd like to begin?
01:48there we go. and we'll start at the back shall we? with you Jamila. your homework was a visit to the cinema.
01:55would you like to tell us about the film you saw? it was be about most beautiful top-class Indian girl who is
02:03fennel in love with boy from bottom class. lower class? huh. but girl's father is say no bigot married so they run away.
02:12but father is catch them and chop off boys leggies. later father is be die.
02:22one day girl is see beggar man in street. oh it is her sweetheart. oh she cry. no leggies no matter. you be marry me.
02:33marry me. okay he say. i be go and be make myself look nice. what with no leggies. huh. so he go. wait she cry.
02:42and run after him. and then big motor car hit her and kill her. it was most miserable film. and I'm enjoyed very much.
02:54good. good. well done Jamila. very good. taro. your homework was a visit to london zoo. tell us about it.
03:07arrive at london zoo. no no taro. no london zoo. start again. arrive at london zoo. london zoo. there are no o's.
03:23oh yes please. there are two o's in london and two o's in zoo. yes absolutely correct ali. but i'm referring to the ends of the words. all right. now carry on taro. but do try and get out of the habit of ending every other word in o.
03:38i try. good. went first to see buffle.
03:45buffle. like a big bull. oh buffalo. taro. confused o. words that end in o like buffalo or radio or vertigo. you pronounce the o. but where there is no o. you don't add one. understand.
04:06yes sir. i give up. all right taro. thank you. right now ali. yes please.
04:13i asked you to read one of shakespeare's plays. were you able to do that? most definitely. i'm reading about sherlock. you mean shylock? yes please. the merchant of venice.
04:25oh good. carry on. first of all there is a lady porter. her name was portia. yes please. now a man called bassanio is fancying this lady porter. er. portia. but he is broken.
04:40broken what? stony broken and no money.
04:46oh you mean broke. yes. carry on. so he is going to see his friend antonio. and saying oh please be lending me three thousand buckets.
04:55ducats. sorry please. but antonio was also broken. so he is going to shylock the money lending man. and asking him to lend him the money. shylock is agreeing. but on one condition. if in three months time he is not paying him back the money. then shylock could cut off. a pound of antonio's fleshy.
05:14why is he wanting a pound of human flesh? my bee is one of them cannonballs.
05:21cannonballs. oh no. he is doing this because he is not liking antonio. anyway antonio is in a bigger trouble. he wrecked all his chips.
05:33ships. ships. and he is not being able to pay back the money. now shylock is wanting his pound of flesh.
05:42but lady portia is pretending to be a lawyer man. and she is saying agreement was for one pound of flesh. and no drop is of blood. shylock has had it.
05:53how can he have had it. when he is not getting it.
05:57you damn fool. you are not understanding the queen's english. i know the queen is english. you think i am stupid. most definitely.
06:09thank you. right. thank you ali. very well done. right. now su lee. your task was. a visit to petticoat lane.
06:17petticoat rain. fairly disappointing. why was that? not see one petticoat.
06:24petticoat lane is just the name of the place. look. don't you find marketplaces interesting?
06:29marketplaces full of capitalistic players. selling inferior merchandise to ignorant working classes. and in freighted places.
06:35chairman mao. he always.
06:37you never mind what chairman mao says. thank you su lee. well done. right. ranjeet. your task was a visit to highgate cemetery.
06:44and. i am finding it very interesting. good. well tell us all about it. firstly. i am seeing the burying place of karl marx.
06:53ah yes. the father of communism. but. i am not understanding. which one he was. i am sorry. i don't understand.
07:00was he chico. harpo. or groucho.
07:07karl marx was not one of the marx brothers.
07:10thousand apologies. what else did you see? i am seeing many beautiful gravestones.
07:17gravestones. that is correct. and some of them have written on them beautiful words. i am writing one down.
07:27you are gone. my dearest wife. still. i feel no pain. for i know. at heaven's gate. we will meet again.
07:41what's the matter giovanni? i can't help it professor. he is so sad. that poor husband. he must have loved his wife very much.
07:49please don't be upsetting yourself. the husband is being very happy. how do you know?
07:55he is dying the year after. oh thank you. i am so happy for him.
08:01and they are both being football fans. oh how on earth do you know that?
08:05he is having put on his stone united forever.
08:11that is maranjeet. refers to him being reunited with his wife in heaven.
08:17thousand other thousand apologies. yes well thank you. well done. good.
08:21right uh giovanni have you recovered sufficiently to uh tell us about your visit to speaker's corner?
08:27okey cokey. first i take the tube to heidi park. then for an hour nothing.
08:37what do you mean nothing? nobody was there. what at ten o'clock on a sunday morning? that's right.
08:42well that's strange. there's always people at speaker's corner every weekend.
08:46i ask her to a policeman. why is there nobody here? and i find out why there is nobody there.
08:53well why was there nobody there? i was at the wrong corner.
08:57i uh scariology about it. excuse me mr brown. oh yes miss cokey.
09:03what have you done about the concert? pardon? is everybody in this school going deaf?
09:08i want to know what you have done about the school concert. concert?
09:11there has been a notice on the board for the past two weeks. you haven't read it.
09:14um well i... mr brown has read it. he was discussing it with us before you came in.
09:20yes yes i was. good. then what are you going to do?
09:25well i expect we'll all be there. i should jolly well hope you will all be there.
09:29but what i want to know is what your students contribution will be.
09:34contribution? yes. what little party piece are they going to perform?
09:38well... pardon senora. it's going to be a surprise.
09:45yes yes it's going to be a surprise.
09:47well i don't like surprises. i want to be quite sure that what they're going to do will be acceptable.
09:52so i suggest that after tea break you and your class can give me a preview of their intended performance.
09:59hey we help you out pretty good eh?
10:06yes but not for very long.
10:08por favor.
10:09we still have to think of something to do for this concert in less than half an hour.
10:13yes all right. with your brain. and our talent. no problem.
10:20yes all right.
10:37yes all right.
10:41pardon.
10:42to me.
10:43to me.
10:44to me.
10:45no over here.
10:46not you me.
10:47oh to you.
10:48right.
10:49oh make it.
10:50i bought you a nice cup of tea mr brown.
10:52oh thank you glennison.
10:54there.
10:55thank you.
10:56here what are you all going to do for the concert tonight?
10:58i started to think they're outside practicing now.
11:00oh would you like me to do a bit?
11:02a bit of what?
11:03well singing i was in the choir.
11:06jerusalem jerusalem jerusalem
11:10lift up your voice and sing.
11:15turn it up laddies you curdle the milk.
11:18oh don't you be such a thing.
11:21you like my voice mr brown?
11:23i think it's remarkable.
11:24thank you.
11:25i could do your turn if you like.
11:26what you sid?
11:27yeah.
11:28you.
11:29watch this.
11:30in the old dying.
11:31in the old dying.
11:32in the old dying.
11:33in the old dying.
11:34he all looks sweet.
11:35talk about the sweet.
11:36you all look damp and thinning up into your feet.
11:38just in style.
11:39brand new tile.
11:40father's old green tile.
11:41i will get you tubbers for the old двигokay.
11:43old Diane.
11:44old Diane.
11:45here.
11:46give it out.
11:47that now.
11:48that now.
11:49that now.
11:50come on.
11:53All right, come on. Hurry up for me, sir, will you?
11:56Oh, get him in. All right, Mr Brown.
11:58All right, finish rehearsing. You're running inside.
12:01All right, come along, everybody. Good, good.
12:04Well, what are you doing now? Yes.
12:06Ah, fine.
12:07Senor Brown, este programa para el concierto.
12:11Oh, for the concert? Ah, good, yes. Good, good.
12:14Right, come along, everybody. Miss Courtney will be here any minute now.
12:16I'm here now, Mr Brown.
12:18Oh, good. Um, would you like to sit there, Miss Courtney?
12:20Thank you. I do hope I am going to enjoy this.
12:23So do I.
12:24I wouldn't like to be embarrassed in front of our distinguished guests.
12:27Oh, no. What distinguished guests?
12:29Quite a few members of the Education Authority always come to see our concerts.
12:33I don't want a repetition of what happened last year.
12:35What happened?
12:36Mr Jarvis's woodwork students were quite awful.
12:39They sang bawdy rugby songs out of tune.
12:42Mr Jarvis still hasn't found another job.
12:45How comforting. Right, would you all come out here when I introduce you?
12:51I act as a kind of compare.
12:53Well, I shall stop you if there's anything I don't like.
12:55Right. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
12:57Stop.
12:58Is something the matter?
12:59This concert takes place in the afternoon.
13:01Ah. Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. I hope you're all sitting comfortably.
13:04Stop.
13:05Now, what was wrong with that?
13:07Mr Brown, by the time you and your class come on, the audience will have been sitting on those hard chairs for one and a half hours.
13:13I wouldn't mention anything about comfort if I were you.
13:16Ah, very right.
13:18Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
13:20The English as a foreign language class is ploughed to present a potpourri of music and laughter.
13:25And to start us off, we have from Hungary, Zoltan Szabo.
13:35Good evening, everybody.
13:37Good afternoon.
13:38Ah, good afternoon.
13:39Hungarian magic.
13:40Hungarian paper.
13:41I'm died in the head of the web.
13:42Hungarian magic.
13:43Hungarian paper.
13:44Hungarian paper.
13:46Ungarian paper.
13:52Hullámzó Balaton tetején.
13:53Ha, pfff.
13:55Hungarian paper.
13:56Hullámzó Balaton tetején.
13:57Sónak házig egy, ha lesz legény.
14:07You don't want second Hungarian magic?
14:09I don't think I even want first Hungarian magic.
14:12What, Charlotte?
14:13Oh, well, never mind, Zoltan. That's very good. Sit down. Yes, right.
14:16And now, from Italy, the irrepressible Giovanni Coupello.
14:23Grazie, grazie.
14:25For you, I'm going to do some impersonations.
14:29Okey-cokey, here we go.
14:34Hey, you want a nice piece of salami?
14:36I've got a lovely piece for you.
14:38And who is that supposed to be?
14:40That's my butcher, Antonio.
14:45We have never heard of your butcher.
14:48Maybe not, but if you add, he's very much like him.
14:52Don't you do any impressions of any well-known people?
14:55Sure I can.
14:57Jimmy Cagney.
14:58In a scene from the film Disaster on the Fifth Avenue.
15:06You dirty rat!
15:15Oh, you dirty, dirty rat!
15:17Oh, dirty, dirty!
15:20I was going to fix you!
15:21Oh, dirty rat!
15:22I haven't finished yet!
15:24Well, Mr. Cagney sounds remarkably like your butcher.
15:28Well known to you, darling.
15:30And now, from France, the delightful Daniel.
15:40La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
15:45Off!
15:46La, la, la, la, la, la, la.
15:49Off!
15:50La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
15:54La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
15:57Off!
15:59Do you know any of the words, Daniel?
16:01I do not sing the words, I just dance to the music.
16:04And what is all this off business?
16:08That is when I'm taking off my clothes.
16:11We can't have that sort of thing going on.
16:14It is not going on, it is coming off.
16:18Not in my school.
16:20Yeah, well, thank you, Danielle. Well done. Jolly girl.
16:24And now, from the mysterious East, we have to sing for you Taro Nagazumi.
16:34I sing for you a traditional Japanese song called A Warrior's Lemento.
16:44Oh.
16:46Oh.
16:48Oh.
16:50Eee.
16:52Oh.
16:54Oh.
16:56Oh.
16:58Long dong, dee dong dong.
17:00Me.
17:02Eee.
17:03Eee.
17:04Eee.
17:05Eee.
17:06Eee.
17:07Eee.
17:08Eee.
17:09Eee.
17:10Eee.
17:11Eee.
17:12Eee.
17:13Stop.
17:14Why you tell me stop.
17:18Because it was awful.
17:21Oh, I thought it had a certain style.
17:23Yeah, sickening.
17:25Sorry.
17:27You will not like her.
17:29My son.
17:36And now, from Germany, will you welcome with her animal impressions, Anna Schmidt.
17:41Eee.
17:42Eee.
17:43Eee.
17:44Eee.
17:45Eee.
17:46Eee.
17:47Eee.
17:48Eee.
17:49Eee.
17:50Eee.
17:51Eee.
17:52Eee.
17:53Eee.
17:54Eee.
17:55Eee.
17:56Eee.
17:57Eee.
17:58Eee.
17:59Eee.
18:00Eee.
18:01Eee.
18:02Eee.
18:03Eee.
18:04Eee.
18:05Eee.
18:06Eee.
18:07Eee.
18:08Eee.
18:09Eee.
18:10Eee.
18:11Eee.
18:12Eee.
18:13Eee.
18:14to make the actual sounds like
18:17or
18:19or
18:20I can't do that, hurts my throat.
18:22Oh, thank you for trying anyway.
18:24Jolly good, well done.
18:26Right, and now
18:28from China with something peculiarly Chinese
18:32will you welcome Miss Chung Su Li.
18:42Chairman Mao, he say.
18:44In the conditions prevailing in China today
18:46the contradictions among the people complies
18:48the contradictions among the working classes
18:49the contradictions among the peasantry
18:50the contradictions among the...
18:52This is supposed to be a school concert
18:53not a party political broadcast.
18:56Can't you sing or anything?
18:58I can sing song of revolution.
18:59Oh, no.
19:03Right, and now it's time for a little comedy
19:05from Ali Nadim and Ranjit Singh.
19:11There's a little yellow idol
19:13to the north of Kadamundu.
19:14I am saying, I am saying, I am saying.
19:17Yes, please.
19:19Why is there a dinosaur as being like an elephant?
19:21Why is there a dinosaur as being like an elephant?
19:24Because neither of them can ride a bicycle.
19:27I'm not waiting to know that.
19:29Please be leaving the stage.
19:31There's a little yellow idol
19:33to the north of Kadamundu.
19:34I am saying, I am saying, I am saying.
19:36Stop!
19:36You are not liking us?
19:39No.
19:40Oh, what did you expect?
19:42Morecom and Wise?
19:43If you're wanting, we can be doing Morecom and Wise.
19:46I could be the fat, short one with the hairy legs.
19:48And I'd be being the one with the glasses.
19:50And so we'll discuss it later.
19:58Very, very, very, very good.
20:00Right.
20:00Our next student to entertain you with a little culture
20:04is Jamila Ranja.
20:15Ladies and gentlemen, I am telling you beautiful English
20:19poetry by Thomas Gray.
20:24Elijah written in country churchyard.
20:27Elegy.
20:28Sorry, Master G.
20:29The curfew tolls the knell of parting day.
20:37The loving herd winds slowly over the lee.
20:44The ploughman homeward plod his dear relay
20:50and leaves the world to darkness and to me.
21:00That's incredible.
21:03Yeah, I'll work on her pronunciation.
21:04Thank you, Jamila.
21:06And now from Spain to entertain you comes Juan Cervantes.
21:13All right, all right, all right.
21:15Mr. Brown, he tell you I am from Spain.
21:19That surprise you, eh?
21:20When I speak, I have no accent at all.
21:23In Spain, one time, I was going to be the bullfighter.
21:29So, one Sunday afternoon, I go to the bullfighter
21:34and they put me in the bullring.
21:40The bull comes out.
21:42I look at the bull, and the bull, he look at me.
21:46The bull, he look at me, and I look at the bull.
21:51And you know one thing?
21:54The bull was better looking than me.
22:00Why you not laugh?
22:03Sorry.
22:03So, I not become the bullfighter because I don't kill pretty bulls.
22:12Good, eh?
22:16You never saw me dance the flamenco.
22:18I do it very good.
22:18Oh, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la...
22:30Right.
22:31And finally, to...
22:33To complete our contribution,
22:36Greece and Sweden combine
22:38Maximillian Papandrius and Ingrid Spencer.
22:40Okay, and now my beautiful assistant and I are going to do some jiggling, juggling.
22:58Okay.
22:59You ready, huh?
23:01High ready hand.
23:01Okay.
23:03Whee!
23:03Whee!
23:08Whee!
23:08Whee!
23:09Whee!
23:10Oh!
23:11Whee!
23:12Whee!
23:13Whee!
23:16Whee!
23:17Whee!
23:18Whee!
23:19Whee!
23:20Whee!
23:21Whee!
23:22Whee!
23:23Whee!
23:24Whee!
23:25Whee!
23:26Whee!
23:27Whee!
23:28Whee!
23:29Well done.
23:30Sit down, both of you.
23:31Good.
23:32I will, Mr. Brown, I think...
23:34Come on.
23:35I think we can write your class off.
23:37Oh, please, Miss Courtney, the students will be so disappointed.
23:42I mean, we still have three days. Just give us a chance.
23:44Oh, well, very well. But remember this, Mr. Brown.
23:47Good jobs are hard to find.
24:07Thank you, the Weight Watchers.
24:14I'm not watching them myself.
24:16Now, ladies and gentlemen, for your entertainment,
24:18here is Jeremy Brown and his United Nations.
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