- 5 weeks ago
Tv, Mind Your Language - S02 - E01 - All Present If Not Correct
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đź“ş
TVTranscript
00:00Do-do-do-do-do
00:30Do-do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:32Do-do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:34Do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:35Do-do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:37Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:38Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:40Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:42Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:44Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:46Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:48Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:50Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:52Good evening, Miss Courtney. Just giving your door a bit of a touch-up.
00:55Did you have a nice holiday?
00:56I had seven days in sunny Spain.
00:58Pardon?
01:00Sunny Spain.
01:01Oh, that's nice.
01:02It rained.
01:03Oh, I still, I suppose you enjoyed those exotic Spanish dishes.
01:07I got food poisoning.
01:08Oh, sorry. Did it rain every day?
01:11Oh, no. When I got food poisoning, the sun came out.
01:15When I got better, it went back in.
01:18Apart from the day before we left, that was absolutely glorious.
01:22Well, at least you had one good day.
01:23I got sunburned.
01:24Oh, what a pity.
01:33Oh, hello, sir.
01:34Ah, Mr. Brown, welcome back.
01:36Oh, Ty, is she in?
01:38Oh, yes, I've cleaned out your bin.
01:39Hmm?
01:41No, no, no, is she in?
01:43Oh, oh, yes.
01:45She's in a shocking temper.
01:46Oh, well, I'll see you later, then.
01:47Are you glad to be back?
01:48Oh, yes, I shall miss my old class,
01:50but I'm looking forward to the challenge of starting again with fresh minds.
01:53I wonder how many different nationalities I'll have to do with this term.
02:00Ah.
02:02Good evening.
02:08Pleased to meet you.
02:09Ah, well, thank you.
02:11Do you speak any English?
02:12Hungry.
02:13Hungry?
02:14Again.
02:14Would you want something to eat?
02:17Len.
02:19Hungry.
02:19Oh, Hungarian.
02:21Igen, Budapest, eh?
02:22All right.
02:23I'll put you in my register.
02:24Bocsánat.
02:25What is your name?
02:27Bocsánat.
02:28Your name.
02:34Name, what is your name?
02:36Ah, mi a nevem?
02:37Angolul.
02:38Zoltán Szabó.
02:40Zoltán Szabó.
02:41Igen.
02:42Yes.
02:43Bocsánat.
02:46This is yes, and this is no.
02:50Ah, yes, no.
02:53Right.
02:54I am Mr. Brown, your teacher.
03:03Ah, tanár úr!
03:05Nagyon örülök, hogy találkoztuk.
03:07Nekem nagyon fogos, hogy megtön a tanár úr.
03:09Meg az összágon másként nem tudok érvényesülni, és maga olyan intelligensnek néz ki, hogy biztos vagyok benne, hogy gyorsan meg fog tanulni.
03:16Well, I hope that was complimentary.
03:18Bocsánat.
03:19Never mind.
03:20Bocsánat.
03:20Look, do you know any English?
03:31Ah, beszélek-e angolul.
03:32Igen.
03:33Yes.
03:34Eh, good shave the queue in.
03:40Good shave the queue in.
03:42God save the queen.
03:44Yes.
03:44More.
03:47More?
03:48Some more English?
03:49Please, thank you.
03:51Good.
03:51Stones.
03:52Stones.
03:53Igen.
03:54Igen.
03:55Igen.
03:56Igen.
03:57Igen.
03:58Igen.
03:59Igen.
04:00Rolling Stones.
04:00Yes.
04:01Good.
04:01Well done.
04:03Good náven, Herr Brown.
04:06Igen.
04:07Most happy to be seeing you again.
04:10Ah, no.
04:10Ranjit, what are you doing here?
04:12We failed our exam, but we're coming back for more lessons.
04:15That is correct.
04:16Like Robertty Bruce said, if at first you're not succeeding, try, try.
04:22Again.
04:25If at first you're not succeeding, never mind.
04:29Are you not expecting us?
04:31No, the authorities don't notify the individual teachers of the results.
04:34And as usual, Miss Courtney has kept me in the dark.
04:37She switched the lights out.
04:38Yes.
04:39No, she never told me.
04:41This is Zoltan.
04:43Ranjit.
04:45Delighted to be making you acquaintance.
04:48Ah, what a nice man.
04:50He's given me a present.
04:52No, no, he wants you to read out something from his phrase book.
04:55Thousand apologies.
04:57Waiter, my soup is cold.
05:01On this page, Ranjit.
05:03Ah.
05:05Pleased to meet you.
05:09Good.
05:10And this is Amma.
05:10How do you do?
05:12Yes.
05:15Would you both like to sit down?
05:17Yeah.
05:17This time I sit at the front.
05:19Then I shall be learning quicker.
05:20Good.
05:21I will be sitting in my custom place.
05:23Good.
05:23Yes.
05:25Well, I was hoping for a hundred percent pass record.
05:28But still, two failures out of ten is not bad.
05:33What's happening, Masterji?
05:35Kumbawa.
05:36Four failures out of ten.
05:39Jamila, you failed.
05:41Sorry, Masterji.
05:42But maybe next time, I am winning, huh?
05:45I'm sure you mean winning.
05:47Ah.
05:47Ah.
05:48And you, Taro?
05:49Asshole.
05:50Loss of face.
05:52Not good for Japanese.
05:54First, consider Harry Currier.
05:58Then decide to come back for more lessons.
06:01If not pass next time, add me.
06:04Just make sure you don't do it on the classroom floor.
06:09Well, as you can see, you are not alone.
06:11This is Zoltan.
06:13Jamila and Taro.
06:14Plea to meet you.
06:16Good happening.
06:20Jamila, you want your place back, y'all?
06:22No, no.
06:23I sit at backside with Taro.
06:26No, Jamila, you will sit at the back.
06:29Backside is what you sit on.
06:32No, Masterji.
06:33What I sit on is chair.
06:38I can see why you failed.
06:42Buenas noches at once.
06:46Juan, don't tell me you failed.
06:48Sorry, I don't tell you.
06:50You don't need to tell me, I know.
06:53Ah, you plenty smart.
06:56It's more than I can say for you.
06:57Por favor.
06:58Never mind.
07:00Oh, this is Zoltan.
07:01This is Juan.
07:02How you do?
07:04For me, eh?
07:05He's just trying to say that he's pleased to meet you.
07:08He doesn't speak any English.
07:09Ah, sorry.
07:10I taste this.
07:13That would be like the blind leading the blind.
07:15Blind?
07:17You don't see?
07:19You feel, you feel.
07:20No.
07:21He's not blind.
07:21He's not blind.
07:25I was just using a...
07:26Oh, never mind.
07:27Sit down.
07:27Okay.
07:28Okay.
07:29I sit here.
07:30Good afternoon.
07:34Good evening.
07:35I here come to English learn.
07:38I come here to learn English.
07:41We together sit.
07:41No, we can't do that.
07:44What is the matter?
07:45There's wrong something with me?
07:46No, there's wrong nothing with you.
07:49I'm very much like you.
07:51Yeah, well, I am your teacher.
07:52Oh, teacher?
07:54You're too young to be teacher.
07:55Oh, thank you.
07:56Is that your name?
07:58Ja.
07:59Ingrid Svensson.
08:01Oh, Ingrid Svensson.
08:03I take it you're Swedish?
08:05Ja.
08:06Where from?
08:08Stockholm.
08:08Stockholm.
08:10And what is your job?
08:11Au pair.
08:12Which pair?
08:12Oh, no.
08:15Well, where shall we sit you?
08:17Let's sit here with me.
08:19There is also a place here beside me.
08:22Here, please.
08:23Here, my...
08:24Yeah, well, I think we'll sit you at the front for the time being.
08:26Here, I'll take it.
08:27Yeah.
08:30Very nice.
08:33Yeah, well, you're sitting next to Juan,
08:35and behind you is Ranjit.
08:37At the back are Taro and Jamila.
08:39She is Anna, and he is Zoltan.
08:41And I am Ali.
08:44Ali, not you as well.
08:46As well as what, please?
08:47You failed.
08:48Oh, yes.
08:49But I'm getting 20 out of 100.
08:52Well, it's nothing to be proud of.
08:53Well, you should get at least 50 marks to pass 20.
08:55It's disgraceful.
08:56Oh, no.
08:57Last year, I'm not getting anything at all.
09:00So, now I'm getting more and more better.
09:02I sit here.
09:05Squeeze, please.
09:07Please to get up.
09:09What for?
09:10That is my seat.
09:12I not see name in seat.
09:14Get your big Spanish bottom out of my chair.
09:16Hey, you talk to me like that.
09:20I punch you.
09:20Now, well, that's enough.
09:21Seats are not reservable.
09:23Sit somewhere else, Ali.
09:24Okay.
09:25I sit at the back.
09:27You big Spanish bull.
09:28Come.
09:29Come on.
09:30I will just wait a few more moments
09:32in case there are any more new students.
09:34Buona sera!
09:36Hey, Sarah!
09:38Buona sera, Monsieur Hans.
09:39Hey, it's just like whole times.
09:41Hey, it's a big surprise, eh, professore?
09:43Well, let's say it's more of a disappointment.
09:45Oh, but I'm not disappointed to be back.
09:48Who's that?
09:49This is Ingrid.
09:51She is Swedish.
09:52She's also sitting in my seat.
09:54You will move, yes?
09:55I will move, no.
09:57You can come and sit next to me.
09:59No, you sit next to me.
10:01That's right.
10:01You sit next to Giovanni and Max
10:03because I want to sit here.
10:05I'm sorry, Danielle,
10:06but I think it's important
10:07that new students should sit at the front.
10:09I don't like you.
10:11I'm so very.
10:13You can come and sit next to me.
10:15Hey, sit between us.
10:16Okay.
10:22Well, I must say
10:23that I am extremely disappointed in you all.
10:26It's not your fault, professore.
10:28We're not past because we're stupid.
10:32And what does that make me?
10:35I'm more stupid.
10:38Exactly.
10:39Out of ten students,
10:40I have nine failures.
10:42Very sorry, I'm great.
10:44Congratulations.
10:45You're getting ten out of ten.
10:56Well, I really don't know what to say.
11:06Oh, blimey.
11:07If you're not knowing what to say,
11:11how are you going to be tedious?
11:13I'll ignore that stupid remark.
11:17Jolly good.
11:20Because you have all failed,
11:22I have failed.
11:23No, that's not true.
11:25It's perfectly true.
11:26Now, this term,
11:27I want much more effort from all of you.
11:28You must all pull your socks up.
11:30Sorry.
11:30All right.
11:34Don't run.
11:35I was speaking figuratively.
11:36Por favor.
11:37Oh, never mind.
11:39We must all concentrate much harder this term.
11:42Now, we shall start at the beginning again.
11:44Only this term,
11:45I shall be giving you twice as much homework as last.
11:48And I want a hundred percent effort from all of you.
11:52Right.
11:53Now, tonight,
11:54I thought we'd start by you each telling me
11:56what you've been doing during the holidays.
11:58Please.
11:59Yes, Sultan.
12:02I do not understand what you are saying.
12:05Oh, never mind.
12:06Just keep quiet and listen.
12:08Bochanot.
12:09Never mind.
12:10Bochanot.
12:10Eh, un momentito, un momentito.
12:13I speak.
12:14Bochanot.
12:15No, bochanot.
12:16No, speak.
12:17Thank you, Wanda.
12:21Sorry.
12:28Right.
12:30Right.
12:30Now, what have you been doing with yourself, Jamila?
12:33Master Ji, I am went on holidays to visit all my family.
12:44Ah, you went to Bombay?
12:46Bombay?
12:47No.
12:48Birmingham.
12:52Birmingham, the Mecca of the Midlands.
12:54And you, Taro?
12:57Ah, so.
13:01Well, what did you get up to?
13:02I went on a fishing holiday.
13:05Oh, good.
13:06Did you catch anything?
13:07Catch heavy cold.
13:12Did you enjoy your break, Ali?
13:13I'm not breaking anything.
13:18You're a holiday.
13:20Oh, jolly good.
13:21I'm learning how to be driving a motor car.
13:24Good.
13:24That's very useful.
13:25When do you take your test?
13:27Oh, blimey.
13:27I'm already failing my test.
13:29The examiner man was jumping out of the car.
13:33And I was going down a hilly.
13:36I expect you were going too fast.
13:38Oh, no.
13:39I was going backwards.
13:43Right.
13:43What did you do, Su Lee?
13:46Spent time lighting.
13:48Lighting what?
13:49Lighting book.
13:50Oh, a book.
13:52What sort of book are you writing?
13:54It's called The Democratic Way of Life.
13:57All about brawliest, freedom-loving Chinese.
14:00I see.
14:01A work of fiction.
14:04Tell us what you did with yourself, Ranjit.
14:07I have been looking after my cousin
14:09while her husband has been away.
14:11Oh, that's very commendable.
14:13He is being discharged this week.
14:15Discharged?
14:16Has he been in hospital?
14:17No.
14:17Prison.
14:19Oh, I see.
14:21And he's been sent to prison
14:22for something he didn't do.
14:24Really?
14:24What didn't he do?
14:25He didn't do that fast enough.
14:28I know.
14:30Tell us what you did, Giovanni.
14:33I went to Marsgate.
14:37Marsgate.
14:38Now, scuse me.
14:39I met this fantastic girl.
14:42She had the biggest...
14:43Yeah, yeah, yeah.
14:47So we all get your meaning.
14:49Every day, we used to go on the sands for a bit.
14:54For a while.
14:56Scuse me.
14:57To go on the sands for a while.
14:59To say that you went on the sands for a bit
15:01could imply that you were doing, um,
15:02well, something naughty.
15:04That's right.
15:04We were very naughty on the sands.
15:07Hello.
15:07Mr Brown.
15:08Mr Brown.
15:10Miss Courtney wants you straight away.
15:12Oh, thank you, Sid.
15:13Well, I suggest you all take an early tea break
15:15and we continue with this later.
15:16All right.
15:21Mr Brown.
15:27Please.
15:28Yes, Sultan.
15:29Look, no, you really must start to speak.
15:32Speak.
15:32Speak.
15:34You.
15:42Girl.
15:43Yes, please.
15:44You're not a girl.
15:46You.
15:54Ah, if you have a girlfriend.
15:56Girl.
15:57I understand.
15:57English.
15:57An English girlfriend.
15:59You.
16:01Me, right.
16:02Oh, you want me to write a letter to your girlfriend?
16:05Please.
16:06Ah, what do you want me to write?
16:09Bocsánat.
16:10Yes.
16:12What I write?
16:16Ah, hogy mit Ărjon a nĹ‘nek?
16:17Az, hogy ilyen gyönyörű nővel még életemben nem találkoztak,
16:21és szeretném megcsókolni.
16:23És elvinni egy vendéglőbe,
16:26ahol van egy kis cigányzene,
16:28Ă©s jĂł magyar bor,
16:29és megmutatnám neki,
16:30hogy milyen az igazi magyar férfi.
16:34I think I get the general idea.
16:41Sidney.
16:48Yes, Miss Courtney.
16:49Did you tell Mr Brown that I wish to see him?
16:51Oh, yes, definitely.
16:56I think this should be all right.
16:58Dear Miss,
16:59I'm writing to tell you of my feelings for you.
17:01I think you are beautiful.
17:04I want to hold you in my arms
17:06and kiss you.
17:08Please say you feel the same about me.
17:11All my love.
17:12Yeah.
17:14What is going on in here?
17:21Oh, nothing.
17:22Well, it certainly doesn't look like nothing.
17:24Ah, well, I was just writing a letter for Zoltan to his girlfriend
17:27and he was showing me his appreciation in Hungarian.
17:31Kindly leave us.
17:32Boca not.
17:33Go.
17:33I said go.
17:37Go.
17:41Now, Mr Brown.
17:43I understand that none of your previous students
17:45passed their lower Cambridge certificate.
17:47Ah, well, I think there were a few near misses.
17:48That is not good enough.
17:50Obviously, Mr Brown, you are sadly lacking in the necessary qualities
17:53required to teach English.
17:54Ah, just a moment.
17:55Don't interrupt.
17:57I shall be keeping a very close eye on you this term, Mr Brown,
17:59and unless I see a marked improvement, out you go.
18:02Well, it's not necessary.
18:03I have no wish to listen to your feeble excuses.
18:07Pompous old cow.
18:11What was that?
18:12Oh, I said, I'm just going now.
18:21Hey, you not speak nothing?
18:23He is not knowing the English as well as what we are knowing.
18:28I speak with him.
18:30Oh, blimey.
18:31He speak Hungarian.
18:34Sure, I speak it on Aryan.
18:38Football.
18:39Again, football.
18:41Puskas.
18:41Pelle.
18:42Kempis.
18:43Beckenbauer.
18:44Bobbily Charlton.
18:45Bobbily Moore.
18:46Hey!
18:48You see, I told you I speak the language.
18:53Hey, you like England, no?
18:55Yeah, I also very much like it, yeah?
18:58You not make the eyes at Mr Brown.
19:01If I want, I will.
19:03Mr Brown does not like the blonde ladies.
19:06Swedish girls are the beautifulest.
19:09Trouble with Swedish girls, they are too big in the bosom.
19:12French girls are too big in the mouth.
19:13In China, rules are not important.
19:18It is Blaine's and Interac that matter.
19:20Absolument.
19:21Yeah, Su Li is right.
19:22Vivimins are not symbols for sex.
19:25You agree, Jamila?
19:26I know understanding.
19:28Vivimins are not here to give the men the pleasure.
19:32I like give men pleasure.
19:34I'm trying to find a few winners.
19:38I know, Mr Brown.
19:39I'm just trying to find out if I can afford to leave the wife.
19:42Pardon?
19:42Premium bonds.
19:44ÂŁ100,000.
19:45I could be lucky.
19:46Somebody's got to win it.
19:47How many bonds have you got?
19:48One.
19:50You're as bad as me.
19:51I've only got one.
19:521-double-F-2-3-2-3-2.
19:54You've got a good memory, haven't you?
19:55Oh, it's not a difficult one.
19:561-double-F-2-3-2-3-2.
19:58That's right.
20:00Hey, that's it.
20:02That's what?
20:021-double-F-2-3-2-3-2.
20:05I don't believe it.
20:06Here, you sure you've got the right cucumber?
20:08Cucumber?
20:09The number!
20:10Yes, I've got my bond here.
20:11I'm positive.
20:11Look.
20:121-double-F-2-3-2-3-2.
20:14That's right.
20:15ÂŁ100,000.
20:16What are you going to do with it?
20:17What am I going to do?
20:18Celebrate, of course.
20:19Gladys.
20:20Yes, Mr Brown?
20:21Coffee's all round.
20:28Right.
20:29Quiet, everybody.
20:30Listen.
20:30I want to read you all my letter of resignation.
20:32Oh, no.
20:34Are you not going to resign?
20:35No, no.
20:35I am definitely resigning.
20:36With ÂŁ100,000, I no longer need to teach English.
20:39That's true.
20:40Oh.
20:41Right.
20:42Dear Dracula.
20:43Oh.
20:45This is to inform you that I think you are a rude, obnoxious, and self-opinionated old dragon.
20:51Oh.
20:51And if ever I see you again, it'll be too soon.
20:54Oh.
20:55Oh.
20:55Yours disrespectfully, Jeremy Brown.
20:57Oh.
20:58Oh.
20:58Right.
20:59Ali.
20:59Yes, please.
21:00Do me a favour and see that Miss Courtney gets this straight away.
21:04Jelly good.
21:05Jelly good.
21:09Please.
21:10Oh, yes.
21:10Zoltan, your letter.
21:12There we are.
21:17Yes, sir.
21:19Right, Gladys.
21:20Where's Sid's paper?
21:21Oh.
21:22He went with it.
21:24Took it with him.
21:24Took it with him?
21:25I got a paper, Mr Brown.
21:27Oh, great, Max.
21:28There we are.
21:29Ernie's lucky winner.
21:31ÂŁ100,000.
21:33And today's number is 1EF2323.
21:37Wait a minute.
21:38That's not right.
21:381EF.
21:39It was 1FF in the other one.
21:40Oh, no.
21:41We apologise for the misprint in our earlier edition.
21:46We haven't won anything.
21:47Oh.
21:47So you will not be resignating after all.
21:52Resigning.
21:53Oh.
21:54That letter to Miss...
21:56Hello, please.
21:59Ernie, that letter to Miss Courtney.
22:01She's not in the office.
22:02Oh, thank God.
22:03Oh, Mr Brown, Mr Nadine, did you wish to see me?
22:05No.
22:06Oh, yes, please.
22:07This is for you.
22:08Thank you very much.
22:09I want another word with you, Mr Brown.
22:11Come into the office.
22:15Close the door.
22:17Oh, just see what this letter is first.
22:20Oh, I shouldn't bother if I were you.
22:22You never know where it's been.
22:22It could be full of jokes.
22:23Oh, don't be so ridiculous.
22:26You know, I seem to recognise this writing.
22:29It looks remarkably like yours, Mr Brown.
22:31Oh, it's nothing like mine.
22:32It just looks like mine.
22:33Oh, well, I better admit.
22:34Er, I think I'll go.
22:36I haven't finished with you yet.
22:37You will have when you've read that letter.
22:39I beg your pardon.
22:40Nothing.
22:40Nothing.
22:40But, Harold.
22:49Miss Courtney.
22:50I have never read anything like this in my life.
22:53I can explain.
22:54Just listen to this.
22:55I'd rather not.
22:57Dear Miss, I am writing to tell you of my feelings for you.
23:00You see, I thought I'd want to...
23:02I want to hold you in my arms and kiss you.
23:06You did write this letter, Mr Brown.
23:10Oh, yeah, well, not to you.
23:11Well, you think the letter you were writing for that Hungarian student?
23:15Yes, you see, what must have happened...
23:16You don't need to go on.
23:18I mean, it's obvious he's been spitten by my charm.
23:21It feels like...
23:21Pardon?
23:24I have told you before, Mr Brown,
23:26that I do have this strange fascination for the opposite sex.
23:30Oh, yes.
23:31Very strange.
23:34You may not believe this, Mr Brown.
23:36But when I was a young girl,
23:38I was very plain.
23:48Cup of tea, please, Paris.
23:50Everything hot tea, Mr Brown?
23:52Yes, I must have put Zoltan's letter to his girlfriend
23:54in my envelope to Miss Courtney.
23:56Hey, he's not going to be very happy.
23:59Why not?
24:00He's just gone to give the letter you write to Miss Courtney
24:02to his girlfriend.
24:03Oh!
24:05Hello!
24:05Hello!
24:07Did you get more happy about this?
24:09Watch out!
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