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Tv, Mind Your Language - S01 - E09 - Ki Or Cure
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00:00Do-do-do-do-do
00:30Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-wa
01:00One, two, seven, one, four, five.
01:13Yes?
01:18How dare you, you dirty old mouth!
01:22Hello? Hello?
01:24Oh, blast!
01:30Hello?
01:34Hello.
01:36Whoever you are, you ought to be ashamed of yourself.
01:39It's me, Jeremy Brown.
01:41What are you doing making obscene phone calls?
01:44I'm in bed with Flo.
01:46In bed with whom?
01:48Flo!
01:49Well, this is most inconvenient. Typical of the weaker sex.
01:53I shall expect you to be better by Monday.
01:56In the meantime, I suppose I shall have to take your class.
02:00I have to go outside.
02:01I have to go outside and go outside.
02:02I have to go outside.
02:03I have to go outside.
02:22Now, what is the meaning of this?
02:24Now what is the meaning of this is to improve our English we learn all the English dances
02:29We are learning to be twisters to trot like foxes and to mash the potatoes
02:35Also, we learn English phrases like do you come here often and who is taking you home tonight?
02:42There are more useful English phrases to learn than those now will you kindly tidy up this mess and sit down at once all of you
02:54I have to tell you that mr. Brown will not be with us tonight
03:02Appears that he has a virus. Oh, is that his girlfriend?
03:06He has the flu he has laid up in bed
03:09Excuse, please. How can he be laid up in bed?
03:15He's laid down the term to be laid up means the same as being struck down
03:24Language there is nothing wrong with the English language. It is the most widely spoken language in the world
03:29Does anyone know the origin of the English language?
03:32But come along where did English come from England?
03:37Not quite the early Britons were Celtic
03:41I was not referring to football. I was talking about the race. No, no, no, it's not a race. It's a football
03:54I see them playing for Milano in the cup. I don't contradict me
03:58And if I have any more of your stupid remarks, I shall send you out of the class
04:02The Celts were a race of people
04:04Then came the Gauls. You see, I was a right. You have a the Gauls in football
04:11All right, mr. Capello, I did warn you kindly leave the class
04:16Where do I go to? Well, I suggest that you go home and study your books
04:20You were standing there and you are still standing there
04:36Silence! Now take heed because I shall not tell you again
04:41Anyone who persists in uttering idiotic nonsense will be sent home
04:45Now the Romans invaded Britain in 43 A.D. Can anyone tell me what A.D. means?
04:53After dark
04:56Right, mr. Nadine come along off you go. What am I going for? Don't argue just go
05:07Please please
05:09To continue
05:11A.D. means Anno Domini
05:14Which refers to time since the birth of our Lord
05:17The time before his birth we refer to as B.C. Does anyone know what B.C. means?
05:23Before Christmas
05:28Okay, I go
05:29The Romans were supplanted by the Angles Saxons and Dukes who brought with them a new language
05:40Please please
05:41I thought I told you to go
05:43Yes, I go, but I come back
05:45You are wanting on the telephone. Mr. Brown is wishing to speak with you
05:48Oh, very well
05:49A squeeze please
05:50No
05:52Anna
05:52Yeah
05:53You will take charge of the class in my absence
05:55I shall not belong
05:57And don't stand for any nonsense
05:59Do not worry
05:59I shall be standing for nothing
06:01I shall be sitting down
06:06Hello
06:07Oh, hello, Mr. Courtney
06:09I just wanted to tell you that I've got all the students homework here
06:11Perhaps if you could send someone round to collect it
06:14We do not have a messenger service, Mr. Brown
06:17Are you sure you're too ill to come in?
06:19Well, yes, I still feel pretty groggy
06:20I mean, besides, I wouldn't like you to catch my cold
06:23I never catch cold
06:25I expect the germs freeze to death instantly in your room
06:30What with that?
06:31Oh, nothing
06:32No, look, I'd better hang up
06:34If you want the homework, it's here
06:46And where is everybody?
06:48They are giving me stupid answers
06:50So I sense them all home
06:51I'll go away
06:55Oh, go away
06:59Oh, go away
07:03I'll go away I not hear nothing me too maybe he's sleeping why don't we try
07:24around the back door. ah back door more better. hello anybody there? yes please. oh shoot yes it is me. you rang the bell a minute ago? no I'm only just arriving. somebody rang the bell. there's nobody here.
07:48his bed's still warm. why the door open? oh no good. you're right Jamila. somebody can come in and steal something.
07:57how was that? that is what? there was a noise. there's somebody in there. he's locked the door. oh blimey. I think you are getting a broken house.
08:11burglars. yes please. I think they are hanging on your belt to see if you are inside. and now they are breaking in. do you know you could be right?
08:20what's the matter? I hear something. good lord.
08:30I think I am being housebroken. that was a very evil eye I saw. it's a big evil eye. move out the way. I open the door. stand behind me. I'm going to break the door down.
08:45come. ah. come on. come on with Mr. Brown. what?
08:47come on. you? listen to me.
09:00come on. that's Mr. Brown.
09:01how are you doing?
09:03that's Mr. Brown.
09:04you?
09:05i.
09:06hi.
09:08oh.
09:09hi.
09:10hi.
09:11oh.
09:12ah.
09:13Mr. Brian, are you all right?
09:15Yes, it's fine, apart from a touch of concussion and raging fever.
09:18I'm terrific.
09:19Thank goodness.
09:20We thought you had flu.
09:23What are you all doing here?
09:24Why aren't you at school?
09:25Well, we've finished early, so we thought we'd come and give you a visit.
09:28Oh, that's very kind of you.
09:29And we bring you a big bunch of grapes.
09:31Oh, thank you.
09:35We eat one or two on the way.
09:38Oh, well, it's the thought that counts.
09:40You must get in bed immediately.
09:42Yes, I am starting to feel cold again.
09:44Master T, I have knit a small gift for you.
09:48Oh, thank you, Jamila.
09:50You try.
09:51Very kind of you.
09:52Yes.
09:57A little big.
09:58Yes.
09:59Well, keep me warm.
10:02Oh, blimey.
10:03It will not be needing to wear any gloves.
10:07Well, perhaps it'll shrink.
10:10Come, Mr. Brian, I must have you in bed.
10:12Pardon?
10:14Oh, that's what you mean.
10:20Let me tuck you in.
10:25It's so, it's like, yeah.
10:28Is that better?
10:29Yes, I'm starting to feel warm all over now.
10:33Jamila and I will make you some hot milk.
10:36Huh, hot milk, most good for worms.
10:40Worms?
10:40I haven't got worms.
10:41No, worms.
10:43Oh, worms.
10:44Achoo.
10:45Do you mean colds?
10:46Oh, colds.
10:48Huh.
10:50Well, I must say, it's very good of you all to come and visit me.
10:53Take a chair each.
10:55Jelly good.
10:55Where do you wish us to take chair?
11:04I don't want you to take them anywhere.
11:06Just sit down on them over here.
11:08Mr. Brown, I have something here to make you feel much better.
11:16Yeah, well, it's very good of you, Ali, but I don't want any more medicine.
11:20But it is jolly good for your chest.
11:22Are you sure?
11:23Oh, blimey, yes.
11:26Oh, let's have a look, then.
11:29Oh, it smells awful.
11:31I'm telling you, it is guaranteed to kill or cure.
11:36I'm not sure I like the first alternative.
11:38Well, here it goes.
11:40It's foul.
11:43Oh, dearie me, I'm thinking you should not have been drinking that medicine.
11:47You said it would cure my chest.
11:49Yes, but you're supposed to be rubbing it on.
11:54You poison me!
11:56I ring the doctor.
11:58It's more important we ring the priest.
12:00Priest?
12:00What for?
12:01Last sacrament.
12:02You may be dead before the doctor comes.
12:04Oh, great.
12:05You may as well go all the way and send for the undertaker.
12:08Okay, what's his address?
12:11Excuse, please.
12:12He's not being poisoned.
12:14This medicine also very good for your stomach.
12:16It makes you get up and go.
12:20Just like priest.
12:22That's all I need.
12:24Oh, sacre bleu.
12:25Now, this que j'ai fait, c'est incroyable.
12:28Monsieur Brown, I have spilt all the milk all over my dress.
12:31Now it will be ruined.
12:32You haven't spilt the whole pint, have you?
12:33That was for day and tomorrow.
12:36Thank you very much.
12:37Well, you better go and sponge it off in the bathroom.
12:40Are you all right?
12:41You have got a funny colour.
12:43I think it was something I just drank.
12:44Shall I give you the kiss of life?
12:47Yes.
12:47No, no, no, no.
12:49Catch my coat.
12:50You can give me the kiss of life, please.
12:53Me too.
12:55So, do you like the kissing, yes?
12:57Oh, yes.
12:58Yes, please.
12:59Oh, good.
13:00I shall give both of you the most beautiful French kiss.
13:04Oh, I wonder who's going to be first.
13:09Close your eyes.
13:11There.
13:22Excuse me, Mr. Brown.
13:23Is there anything else you are wishing us to do?
13:25Yes, just go home.
13:27You don't want us to stay?
13:29No, no, no, I appreciate your calling,
13:30but it's just that I would recover much quicker
13:32if I were left alone.
13:34Okay.
13:34We got to the pub.
13:36We hope you much better soon, Mr. Brown.
13:38Come on, Ali.
13:39Good evening.
13:45Good night.
13:48Master G?
13:49Oh.
13:50Hello.
13:51Hot bottles.
13:52Oh, thank you, Jimilla.
13:53Oh, see who that is, would you?
13:58What are you doing here?
14:00I warm bed for Master G.
14:02I...
14:03Oh, God, come on.
14:05It's all right, Miss Courtney.
14:06She means she was just warming a hot water bottle for me.
14:09Mr. Brown, it is highly improper
14:11for this young lady to be here alone with a man.
14:13Oh, well, I can assure you, Miss Courtney,
14:15that nothing improper is taking place.
14:16Oh.
14:17Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
14:47Good night, Mr. Brown, sir.
15:04Good evening, Ranjit.
15:06What do you want?
15:07I am coming here to be making you over the weather.
15:10Over the weather?
15:11Yes, because I'm hearing you under the weather.
15:14I'm going to come in and sit down.
15:18Are you going to be sitting down together?
15:20No, I still don't feel too well.
15:22I think bed's the best place.
15:23Whatever you say.
15:31I didn't mean the two of us.
15:34I want an apology.
15:36Oh, see who that is, Ranjit.
15:37Oh, I'm not here to be.
15:45Ah, do you want me to come in?
15:46I come to see how Mr. Brown is.
15:50You OK?
15:51Terrible.
15:52Never mind.
15:53I come to cheer you up.
15:55Oh, good.
15:55I can do with cheering up.
15:57I think you not look very well.
16:00I think he look very white.
16:05He is white.
16:10But he looks more white than before.
16:14I think you have what we call in Sevilla the three-day gripper.
16:21I don't like the sound of that.
16:22Only last three days.
16:25On the first day, fever like you have.
16:28On the second day, white as you are.
16:32And on the third day...
16:33You get better?
16:34You die.
16:37Firito, Firito.
16:38Oh, thanks for coming to cheer me up.
16:42All right.
16:43I'll bring you something.
16:44Don't tell me it's some Spanish medicine recommended for rubbing on chests.
16:48No, medicina.
16:51Fundador.
16:51Fundador?
16:53Si.
16:54Spanish brandy.
16:55Un momento.
17:00It's a good taste.
17:06It's strong.
17:07Kill all germs.
17:10Not household germs.
17:12Any germs.
17:13I must say it's warming me up already.
17:16Can I have some more?
17:18Sure, sure.
17:20I go.
17:21Ah, time.
17:29Ah, so.
17:32Go in, sit down, have a drink.
17:34Ranjit.
17:35Yes, please, Mr. Brown.
17:36I need some glasses.
17:38Are your eyes mad as well?
17:39I'm in glasses to drink them.
17:43How's the apologies?
17:45Well, there's some on the sideboard.
17:46Bring three.
17:48Ah.
17:48No, I understand.
17:49One for that.
18:00One for red jeans.
18:01You're most kind.
18:02You're most kind.
18:02I'm one for one.
18:12Bottoms up.
18:14What is bottoms up?
18:16Oh, it's an English phrase used when having a drink.
18:20Oh, I am thinking it is not institute drinking it bottom up.
18:28It refers to the glass, the bottom of the glass, tip it up.
18:34Ah, si.
18:35As you say, up the hatch.
18:39Down.
18:40Si, down the hatch.
18:41Si, oh.
18:42Now I am understanding.
18:43I am also knowing another saying, round the teeth and through the gums.
18:49Look out, tummy.
18:50Here it comes.
18:53Very good.
18:55Do you mind if I have another?
18:57Yeah, claro, claro.
18:57Oh, look, you've finished the bottle.
18:59I was just beginning to enjoy myself.
19:01I have a brat, genuine Japanese.
19:07Saki.
19:08Oh, sake.
19:09Yes, I've heard of that.
19:10It's what those geisha girls give you, isn't it?
19:14Geisha girls give you much more.
19:21Yes, I understand.
19:22Hey, Paulo, is it true that the geisha girls, they give you the bath on the nothingness, eh?
19:29Yes!
19:30Yes, sir.
19:33In Japan, man has cold on.
19:37He go, see, geisha.
19:40Well, what happens?
19:42Geisha prepare hot bath, then wash men all over.
19:51I do think that would send your temperature up.
19:53After men, right on bed, geisha, rob him with perfumed oil, sir.
20:05And does that cure a cold?
20:10No, no, it makes it much nicer.
20:16Please, please.
20:18Leave the cat on the lock so that if anybody comes, they can walk straight in.
20:26Good evening, Mr. Blowne.
20:31Oh, Suley and Anna.
20:33We bring you some things to make you well.
20:35Oh, well, that's very kind of you, but actually I'm feeling a lot better.
20:38These will clear your head instant.
20:39Take.
20:40Oh, well.
20:42I've tried everything else.
20:43I'm sure a couple more pills won't make any difference.
20:46Now, we need some hot water.
20:48No, it's all right.
20:48I'll take it with the sake.
20:49Have fun for you to do that.
20:54Oh, you said they'd clear my head.
20:55You are supposed to put some in the hot water and breathe in the fumes.
21:01Oh, don't you help.
21:04What about you, Suley?
21:11Have you brought some Chinese medicine for me?
21:13Oh, this is not medicine.
21:15This is very ancient Chinese treatment.
21:17Is it anything like the geisha girls?
21:19Oh, much better.
21:21Oh, well.
21:23Isn't that nice?
21:25First, you must slip.
21:26Yeah?
21:27Oh, right.
21:29Only two ways.
21:31Oh.
21:32Hang on, baby.
21:35Now, ride out on stomach.
21:37Like this?
21:39Uh, yes.
21:41I'm ready.
21:43Very good.
21:44Oh, flammie.
21:50What's the matter?
21:50Nothing, nothing, nothing whatsoever.
21:54Oh, that's lovely.
21:56Can you do the other side as well?
21:57Hey!
21:57Oh!
21:58I've heard of kill or cure, but that's ridiculous.
22:02What are you doing?
22:03Accupancher.
22:04Very old Chinese custom.
22:06I got it from honorable ancestors.
22:08Well, honorable ancestors can totally well have it back.
22:11Come back!
22:12We are all, each of us, bringing something to cheer you up.
22:19Jamaica Ram.
22:21French wine.
22:23Greek Ouzo.
22:24French Italian grappa.
22:26Hey, you tasted that.
22:27You say it was an accident.
22:32Ha, ha.
22:33Accident.
22:34Daniel spilled milk on her dress.
22:37Oh, I see.
22:38It appears that for once I have misjudged, Mr. Brown.
22:42Well, I suppose I had better call in and apologize on my way home.
22:48Come on, should I have a drink?
22:50Hey!
22:51Hey!
22:52Come on.
22:54Oh!
22:54Oh!
22:55Oh!
22:55Hey, everybody!
22:59Mr. Conga!
23:01Yay!
23:02You did it, men!
23:03Oh, no!
23:04Yay!
23:06Oh!
23:07Oh!
23:07Oh!
23:08Oh!
23:09Oh!
23:11Oh!
23:11Oh!
23:13Oh!
23:13Oh!
23:14Oh!
23:17Come on, folks!
23:18All right, folks!
23:21Oh!
23:24Oh!
23:24Mr Brown?
23:31Hello, Miss Courtney.
23:36This is disgraceful.
23:39No, please. This is Congo.
23:42Silence. I suggest you all leave immediately.
23:48I suggest you all leave immediately.
24:11As for you, Mr Brown, words failed.
24:14Oh, come on, Miss Courtney. They're only coming here to cheer me up a bit.
24:17I warn you, Mr Brown, that if this sort of thing ever occurs again in the future, you are out.
24:22Miss Courtney!
24:23Mr Brown!
24:47Miss Courtney!
24:48Miss Courtney!
24:49Miss Courtney!
24:50Miss Courtney!
24:52Miss Courtney!
24:53Miss Courtney!
24:54Miss Courtney!
24:55Miss Courtney!
24:56Miss Courtney!
24:57Miss Courtney!
24:58Miss Courtney!
24:59Miss Courtney!
25:00Miss Courtney!
25:01Miss Courtney!
25:02Miss Courtney!
25:03Miss Courtney!
25:04Miss Courtney!
25:05Miss Courtney!
25:06Miss Courtney!
25:07Miss Courtney!
25:08Miss Courtney!
25:09Miss Courtney!
25:10Miss Courtney!
25:11Miss Courtney!
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