- 5 weeks ago
Tv, Mind Your Language - S02 - E04 - Many Happy Returns
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00:00Do-do-do-do-do
00:30Do-do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:33Do-do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:35Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
00:39Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
00:41There you are, love. Thank you. Sugar's on the table.
00:48Here's a cup of tea, Brad.
00:50Sure. One of these days, Sid, you'll actually buy one.
00:54And I'll drop down dead with shock.
00:56Buy one?
00:57Yes.
00:57Tea is free. It's one of the perks that goes with his job.
01:01How are you off for a bit of a touch?
01:03I beg your pardon?
01:05I'm talking about money. I'm brassic lin.
01:08You're always skinned, Sid. I'm sorry. No.
01:15Hello, lad.
01:16Hello, Sid.
01:17How are you, my old Japan?
01:21Japan?
01:22My old Japan, your rhyming slang meaning friend.
01:25No, not Japan. You mean China.
01:28The old China plate, me mate.
01:30Jelly goods.
01:31I don't suppose any of you boys could?
01:33No, Sid.
01:35It's only till payday.
01:38No, I understand.
01:39Sorry, please.
01:41Sorry.
01:43Gladys.
01:44Give us a pack of cars from under the counter, will you?
01:47I've got to get some money somehow.
01:48Well, what are you going to do?
01:50I'm going to play a little game of find a lady.
01:52Oh.
01:54Nobody might want to play.
01:55Oh, they'll have to play when I give them the old come on.
01:58Come on what?
01:59Yeah, well, you know I've only got a quid till payday.
02:01Yeah.
02:01Well, if I let somebody win that, they can't stop.
02:04It never fails.
02:05Now, all I've got to do now is find a mug.
02:08Coffee, please.
02:09Hello, mug.
02:10Uh, uh, Max.
02:12Max, uh, would you, uh...
02:13No, Sid.
02:15No, no, I'm not trying to trap you.
02:16I thought perhaps you might like a game of cards.
02:19I don't like to gamble.
02:20Oh, don't be silly.
02:21It's only for a bit of fun.
02:22Come on, sit down and enjoy yourself.
02:25This is called find the lady, you see.
02:28Now, the lady is a queen.
02:30Now, there's the queen, and there's the other two cards.
02:33Now, what I do is I shuffle them about,
02:36and the object is to see if my eyes could deceive your eyes.
02:40The quickness of my hand deceives your eyes.
02:42Eric, where is it?
02:44There.
02:47Oh, you're right.
02:48You're very good.
02:49You haven't got sharp eyes, haven't you?
02:51Sure I have.
02:52You want to have another go?
02:55Yes?
02:56Here.
02:56Where is it?
02:58This one.
03:00Oh, twice on the turn.
03:01Hey, you are very, very good, aren't you?
03:04Pretty smart, eh?
03:05Nobody's ever beat me twice.
03:07Tell you what, if you'd have been playing for money,
03:09you'd have won two quid now.
03:11Two quid?
03:12Yeah.
03:13Do you want to go again?
03:15Hockey.
03:16Right.
03:17Only this time, I bet a pound.
03:20I thought you said you don't bet.
03:22My father, he teach me two rules of gambling.
03:25Huh?
03:25First rule, always bet on a certainty.
03:28You want this pound?
03:29Oh, yes, I'll have a little game of that.
03:31Yes, why not?
03:33Now then, here's the queen, there's the card.
03:35Hop out.
03:36Where is it?
03:37This is the lady.
03:39Oh, three times on the trot.
03:40That's fantastic.
03:42Hey, I like this game, Sid.
03:43Do you like it?
03:44Yes.
03:44Oh, double of quid?
03:46Quid.
03:49I don't want to play anymore.
03:51But you can't do that.
03:53The second rule, my father, tell me,
03:55always quit when you're winning.
04:03Good evening, please.
04:04Ah, Ranjit, you're late.
04:06I thought you weren't coming.
04:07You've missed the first half of the session.
04:08A thousand apologies,
04:10but I'm falling asleep on the underground tube.
04:13I'm going right past my getting off stop
04:15and not waking up until cocky fosters.
04:18Cocky fosters.
04:20Perhaps you're working too hard.
04:22I am working three times too hard.
04:25What do you mean?
04:26Well, my proper job is working on the underground railway tube
04:30and I'm working the early morning shaft.
04:33You mean shift.
04:34That is correct.
04:35That is correct.
04:36I am working from six o'clock morning time
04:38until two o'clock afternoon time.
04:41Then I'm doing other job for garage,
04:43pumping the petrol,
04:44until six o'clock evening time.
04:46Well, even for the time you spend here,
04:48you could still have eight hours sleep.
04:50Oh, no.
04:51When I'm leaving here,
04:52I'm working in public house
04:54until after the midnight.
04:56I think you're overdoing it, Ranjit.
04:58All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
05:01This Jack,
05:02is he having three jobs also?
05:04No, it's just a saying.
05:06Look, why are you working so hard?
05:07I'm saving up for the aeroplane.
05:09Ah, you want to buy an aeroplane?
05:11No, no.
05:12Just a ticket to Punjab.
05:13Ah, are you thinking of leaving us, Ranjit?
05:16Only for one week.
05:17My mother is being 60 years old this week.
05:20So, I'm giving her the big surprise of myself.
05:24I am now having the money for the aeroplane ticket.
05:28Two hundred and thirty English pounds.
05:31That's a lot of money to carry around, Ranjit.
05:33You could be mugged on your way home.
05:35You are speaking absolute wisdom.
05:38Here, you keep for me.
05:39Me?
05:40Most certainly.
05:41Then if I am being mugged,
05:43the mugger man will not find money.
05:45Oh, it's too big a responsibility.
05:48Please, you keep for me until tomorrow.
05:50Then I buy ticket.
05:52Oh, very well.
05:52A thousand, thank you.
05:55Right, come along, everyone.
05:57We've got a lot of work to get through.
05:58Good, quickly now.
06:00Come on, if you are.
06:02Right, now, for the rest of this evening,
06:04we are going to have a debate.
06:06Now, can anybody tell me what the word debate means?
06:09And I don't want to hear anyone say,
06:10debate is what you put on the fishing line.
06:14Anybody tell me what a debate is?
06:16Come along.
06:17Sue Lee, what is Parliament noted for?
06:19Collaborate politicians who make roles to a place working classes.
06:23Agreed.
06:24Well, that's what we call debating.
06:26Quite simply, it means to discuss or dispute a given subject,
06:28and that's what we are going to do, all right?
06:30Do you understand what we're talking about, Zoltan?
06:32What are you not?
06:33We're going to have a debate, an argument.
06:35Ah, a fight.
06:36No, no, no.
06:38Not with fists.
06:39With mouth.
06:40Ah.
06:41Grease.
06:42What?
06:45Grease?
06:45With words.
06:46Look, just do your best to follow us, all right?
06:49Right, now, the first thing we need to do
06:50is find somebody to chair the debate.
06:53I'm good at that.
06:54Have you done it before?
06:55Sure.
06:56Every Saturday, I go to chair my football team.
06:59I'm talking about chair, not cheer.
07:02Excuse me.
07:03Right, well, I shall be the chairman.
07:04Now, what subject would you like to debate?
07:07Girls.
07:10Girls is not a subject.
07:11Subjects for debates are usually in the form of questions.
07:14For example, should men and women have equal pay for equal work?
07:17Should capital punishment be brought back?
07:20Should Enoch Powell be deported?
07:23Yes, that's the general idea.
07:25Right, now, for our debate,
07:26I think we'll take the subject of television.
07:28Is television a good or bad influence on the community?
07:33All right?
07:33Now, we need two proposers and two opposers.
07:37In other words, two people to speak for good and two for bad.
07:41Juan, how about you?
07:42Por favor.
07:45Good or bad?
07:46Eh, sometimes I am good.
07:51Sometimes I am bad.
07:52But, uh, not talking about you personally, Juan,
07:56do you think television is good?
07:57Eh, sometimes good, sometimes fine.
08:02Make your mind up, Juan.
08:04In a debate, you can't sit on the fence.
08:06I'm not sitting up.
08:10I'm not sitting up.
08:12Look, forget I asked you.
08:15Hey, what'd you ask me?
08:16Forget it.
08:18How can I forget it if I don't remember?
08:21Never mind.
08:23It's all right.
08:24Right.
08:24Taro, you can be the first proposer.
08:27Asshole.
08:28now we need a lady uh jamila you can be the second proposer now to opposers uh ali how about you
08:39yes please and uh danielle am i good or bad bad oh i like being bad because when i'm bad i'm really
08:48good and we'll just remember we are talking about television right now pay attention everyone tarot
08:55will speak first with the proposition that television is good for the community go ahead tarot
09:00awesome
09:01television is very good for everyone more people watch more people buy and oh japan make best
09:16television japan make best everything castle cameras radios
09:24thank you tarot just remember you are speaking about television not doing a commercial for japan
09:29awesome
09:31television is good for teaching i learn many english words from television
09:43like uh what a gayer day don't forget oh fruto ganso mama thank you tarot right uh danielle would you uh
10:00present your case against television yeah oui i think television is very bad because it make people
10:10stay up at night instead of going to bed to make love everybody wants to go to bed to make love
10:19why not that's right sometimes it's much better to make a love outside
10:23in sweden we make love everywhere
10:29well i think we are getting getting off the subject now come along make love much better proposition
10:42than television come on stick to the point please danielle i think television is very bad for the eyes
10:52yes and also for the legs
10:54legs
10:57my brother miguel he had bad legs from his television
11:02how can your brother possibly have bad legs from his television
11:06he dropped it on his foot
11:08the mask
11:14carry on danielle i cannot think of any more to say after this
11:18ah right well uh jamila would you like to present your case for the good of television
11:25i am like very much the television the television made people most happy with good
11:31good good program like carnation street coronation street huh and last week i am watch this week
11:41watching this week last week this week is the name of a program ranjeet thousand apologies
11:49and also television is be free you have to buy the license word license
11:54haven't you got a television license no no need license i'm sorry jamila but you do no look it's
12:04an offense not to have one if the detector van comes around you could be heavily fined no
12:09look don't argue jamila it's the law not for me why not for you no have television set
12:15watch next door they have myself thank you jamila right ali your turn uh jelly good
12:30i am thinking television is very bad because it is showing too much of the violence good point thank you
12:38of sky dancing somebody been drowned then shut and then had their heads chopped off what was that
12:47the professionals or starsky and hutch tom and jerry excuse me mr brown can you spare a moment uh
12:55just a moment miss courtney we're right in the middle of a very interesting debate could you
12:58wait just a minute certainly not oh very well right giovanni out here certainly professor
13:05right would you take the chair sure
13:11i mean will you chair the debate excuse me right let ali finish and then uh throw it open give
13:17everybody a say then take a vote and if i'm still not back by then you can dismiss the class and go home
13:20okay okay you heard what professor he say alice to finish we have the talk
13:34we have the vote and then we go home okay you finish ali no i haven't i was you finish
13:43anybody want to talk okay we take the vote everybody think tv's okay put up at the hands
13:51everybody think tv's not okay put up at the hands
13:53uh we call it a drawer class dismiss
14:01you going somewhere
14:06would you care to go for a drink oh no thank you mr brown i want to get to the post office in
14:10time to catch the last post oh i wonder would you post a letter for me yes certainly yeah that's
14:15the one right good night then mr brown good night well that's another day over said yeah worse luck
14:23yeah oh i'm always glad to get home you wouldn't say that you was living with my missus
14:29what's the matter here here it's full of bees and honey
14:34i don't know who's it is i know who's it is now don't you think you ought to take it into the
14:40the police station don't be piccadilly grannis fine as it's keepers oh sad
14:57oh
15:04enter ah mr brown don't you hush me miss courtney i'm in terrible trouble you certainly are you're
15:1210 minutes late no no no worse than that i've lost 230 pounds that ranjeet gave me to look after
15:18and how on earth did you manage to do that i've no idea it must have fallen out of my pocket i've
15:22looked everywhere i went to the police station to ask if anyone had handed it in and they just laughed
15:26and what am i going to tell ranjeet the truth mr brown you had better do it in private you can use
15:32my office i will send him to you i suppose the direct approach will be best ranjeet i have lost
15:42your money no no i can't do that it's too harsh better soften the blow a bit ranjeet come in
15:49uh have a seat would you like a cup of tea no no no ranjeet i have something to tell you are you
15:57sitting comfortably oh no i'm sorry oh ranjeet come here sit down have a cup of tea there isn't any
16:06tea ah well i'll get you miss courtney said you have something to tell me yes ranjeet i am human
16:11and you are human and human beings are fallible i mean i'm fallible and you're fallible no i'm
16:17panjali no no no what i'm trying to say ranjeet is well i have lost your money
16:27did you hear me the money you saved up to go and visit your mother with it but i've lost it
16:31ranjeet
16:45i'm sorry ranjeet
16:54good evening hello sid what's the matter you look as if you lost under pound and found 10p
16:59as many a true words spoken in jest oh come on cheer it up have a cigar no thanks can't be as bad
17:05as all that it's worse well look at me yesterday i didn't have apony today i can have a tenner on
17:10horse and take no notice you couldn't lend me 230 pounds could you no chance oh that's all there was
17:16in the envelope
17:20what envelope the envelope i found outside of school
17:23do you see that was ranjeet's money have you still got it yeah
17:31why didn't you hand it in hey wait what are you doing
17:34and jeet we found your money oh oh praise me to the one
17:43i'm never to be seen my mother oh she'll be so happy to be seeing me
17:51there's only 130 pounds in here that's right oh where's the other hundred oh here it is here
17:57what is that that's a betting slip i've had under pound on rainbow's end in the
18:01rainbow's end in the 615 at the night race at windsor
18:05615 we can still make that come on everybody quickly
18:14mr brown what is going on
18:15uh we're just taking an early tea break um in the betting shop
18:21the 615 at windford the horses are lining up for the stars
18:28and they're off come on rainbow's end
18:30and right away it's ernie's boy in the lead followed by death's delight golden wonder and
18:34skylock then comes southern peacock and slimline where's the rainbow's end and bringing up the
18:39rear is rainbow's end and that's the order at the bend the depth delight closing a little and
18:45skylock now overtaking golden wonder southern peacock is dropping back and who is this coming
18:50through on the inside
18:53and with four furlongs to go it's ernie's boy depth delight and rainbow's end now in third place
19:06ernie's boy is pulling away slightly but rainbow's end has overtaken
19:10challenging strongly two furlongs to go and rainbow's end is gaining on
19:13and that's the finish it's rainbow's end
19:22five to two that's 250 quid that's hundred pound for you and the rest for me
19:26eh yeah come on let's go draw it for one moment there's a stewart inquiry
19:33the red flag's gone up oh blimey it is a russian horse
19:37this restriction has been today rainbow's end's been disqualified for bumping and place last
19:44we are losing and i won't be able to be visiting my mother
19:50oh poor hanjeet he was so much looking forward to seeing his mother he will see his mother but master
19:58g he was going to be catch plane on saturday how will he we get 100 pound before then we'll get it
20:03for it even if we have to beg borrow or steal it
20:10please please oh thank you thank you you're one photograph very cheap three for one bundle
20:20five pretty flowers for your pretty wife
20:23you want to go to love a pretty wife oh no thanks
20:25okay
20:36come on
20:40have your fortunes told by madame jamila come on young man would you like to your fortune too
20:43now sit around there madame jamila feel this young man's fortune
20:46please please to cross my pound with 50p
20:55here we go here we go where's the navy
21:04head up on there that is not the lady i'm telling me sorry sir that's the lady there
21:09i'll do much more for you to show you that you couldn't be wrong you can't be wrong all the time
21:13i don't know if you want to be wrong you can't be wrong you can't be wrong you can't be wrong
21:19there's one for you ah mr brown please hold
21:23oh good evening mr brown i hear you managed to raise the money for mr sing's fair yes you'll
21:43be at the airport now how is he going by plane or balloon oh you heard about that yes yes if that
21:51caretaker hadn't been on the roof to catch my legs heaven knows where i'd be now where you usually
21:56are mr brown with your head in the clouds
22:07well firstly may i say thank you for all your efforts yesterday to help raise the fair for ranjeet
22:12no no it was a remarkable effort which is more than i can say for your homework
22:17i am not happy with your answers
22:19and we are also not happy with the curtains
22:24i've got an idea you're not happy we're not happy so if you not give us any homework we both be
22:31happy okay silence look in future you will be given extra homework and i hope that i see some
22:37improvement some of you are just simply not trying for example max the opposite of anti-meridian is not
22:44uncle meridian but post meridian okay you know what you're laughing about giovanni your answer to
22:51the question write a sentence using a metaphor was unbelievable but i did write a sentence using a
22:57metaphor oh yes last night i phoned my girlfriend and a metaphor a drink
23:06ali for your information a polygon is a term used to describe a figure with angles and sides and have
23:12nothing whatsoever to do with the disappearing parrot
23:17mr brown this lady wants to have a word with you oh a mute pupil would you like to sit over there
23:22no sit look for ranjeet oh well i'm afraid he's not here he's gone over this weekend to visit his
23:26mother as a surprise for her birthday hi raba that is terrible why what's the matter i am his mother
23:31i am having a moment for my birthday to surprise ranjeet
23:36oh
23:51oh
23:59oh
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