- 2 days ago
Jack sups at a chichi nightclub where heartthrob crooner Robert Goulet is dining. Will Goulet pilfer Jack's drop-dead gorgeous date or will the sex symbol comic pull women away from Goulet? Two versions are presented. Which one is true?
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00:00From Hollywood, the Jack Benny Program, with Jack's special guest, Robert Goulet.
00:30Thank you, thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the show.
00:49Now, first of all, I want to explain...
00:54Mr. Benny.
01:00This is so embarrassing.
01:09I'll tell you how that happened.
01:10You know, as a rule, I make my entrance from that side of the stage, you see, and then
01:15when I walk out, I turn to the right to address the audience.
01:20Well, this time, I happened to be standing on that side when they played my theme song.
01:24So, when I walked out, by force of habit, I turned the wrong way, you know.
01:32Of course, it could happen to anybody.
01:35It could be because I'm very nervous.
01:39I'm really very nervous tonight because I have as my guest star the most popular and most
01:45exciting personality in show business today.
01:50You'll be thrilled when you see him.
01:52But first of all, I must do something.
01:54Oh, Don, please.
02:04And now, ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure
02:07to present my guest star, Mr. Robert Goulet.
02:33There's a spot right there.
02:37Now, you have to shut it off.
02:45Now, uh, Robert, on the way home, you can drop that off at my house.
02:51Jack, drop it off yourself.
02:54And it's the last time I sign a contract without reading the fine prints.
03:00I mean, other shows get Emmys.
03:01This one gets the good housekeeping seal of approval.
03:04Robert, look, I hope you don't resent that entrance I gave you because, really, it was
03:11done for a laugh, just for a gag.
03:14Jack, if it was just for a gag, why did you have me rehearsing at your house all week?
03:23Every day, it was a different room.
03:24Robert, look, the important thing is that you're here, right?
03:32I mean, my view, they're not interested how I have my rugs done or who does them.
03:39They're interested in your career, and they'd like to know more about you, I'm sure.
03:43Now, Bob, tell me, you were born in Canada, weren't you?
03:46No, Jack, I was born in Lawrence, Massachusetts, but my family moved to Alberta, in Canada,
03:51when I was very young.
03:53Oh, then you were brought up in Canada?
03:55Yes.
03:55In a large city?
03:57No, actually, we were brought up on the, on the edge of the wilderness, Jack,
04:00and sometimes months would go by before we'd see another human being.
04:05That must have been lonesome.
04:06Yes, it was, it was rather lonesome, but I must tell you, one day,
04:09we looked outside the cabin, and we saw footprints in the snow.
04:13And we followed the footprints, it was so exciting, across the frozen lakes,
04:16and up and down the snow-bound hills, and across a big bend,
04:20and, and, and there he was, Jack, lying in the snow.
04:23Who?
04:24Nelson Eddy.
04:30Nelson Eddy.
04:32Yes.
04:33And I went over to help him, and I almost ruined a million-dollar movie.
04:38The director must have been pretty angry with me.
04:40Oh, he was angry.
04:41What he was yelling at me wasn't the Indian love call.
04:47Now, Bob, you've had a very colorful career, no question about it.
04:52And I thought you were wonderful in Camelot.
04:55Thank you very much.
04:56And I understand that since you left Broadway, you've been playing in nightclubs.
05:01Yes, I, I've played quite a bit in nightclubs, Jack, and I, I, I like them very much.
05:05You do?
05:06You know, I used to play nightclubs, but I stopped.
05:08I enjoyed them, too.
05:10But, I don't know, sometimes a drunk would get up, you know, right while I was entertaining,
05:16some drunk would get up and throw money on the stage.
05:19Well, Jack, Jack, Jack, they don't, they don't, they don't do that anymore.
05:24I know.
05:31But, those were the good old days, weren't they?
05:33Well, I think now, instead of just standing out here and talking, I think our viewers would love to hear you sing.
05:39So, how about it?
05:40Well, I, I, I'd love to.
05:41Okay.
05:42Excuse me.
05:43Yeah.
05:57He's wonderful on shag rugs.
06:00And now, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Robert Goulet will sing, This Is All I Asked.
06:06As I approach the prime of my life, I find I have the time of my life.
06:30Learning to enjoy, at my leisure, all the simple pleasures, and so I happily concede.
06:44This Is All I Asked, This Is All I Asked, This Is All I Need.
07:02Beautiful girls, walk a little slower, when you walk by me, lingering sunsets, stay a little longer,
07:22with the lonely sea children everywhere.
07:27Where, when you shoot at bad men, shoot at me, take me, to that strange, enchanted land.
07:43Grown-ups seldom understand, wandering rainbows, leave a bit of color,
07:53for my heart to own, stars in the sky, make my wish come true,
08:04before the night has flown, and let the music play.
08:12As long as there's a song for me to sing.
08:23As long as there's a song for me to sing.
08:25And I will stay younger than spring.
08:28And I will stay younger than spring.
08:38And I will stay younger than spring.
08:48You know, I was backstage just now, listening to Robert Goulet sing,
09:08and I predict that with his voice, and his acting ability,
09:14he will definitely be the biggest star in show business.
09:24You know, there's only one thing that I can't understand.
09:29You know, he, uh, you know, he's supposed to be a big hit with the women.
09:38You know, that all, every time you pick up a magazine,
09:40you read how all the girls fall in love with him.
09:44Well, I don't know, maybe it's true.
09:49But, um, let me tell you something that happened.
09:54I-I don't think I ought to tell you.
09:56Yes, I'm going to tell you something.
10:00Such a big lover.
10:01Let me tell you what happened.
10:02A few weeks ago, I happened to drop in
10:05to one of our more popular nightclubs here in Hollywood.
10:13While I was sitting there wondering what I should order,
10:16I happened to look across the room,
10:18and there was Robert Goulet with a very lovely girl.
10:21Ordinarily, I don't mix business with pleasure,
10:24but I had been thinking for a long time
10:26of asking Mr. Goulet to be on my show.
10:29And although this sort of thing is usually done through agents,
10:32I didn't see any harm in handling it as one star to another.
10:38Pardon.
10:39Oh, we'll have two more martinis, please.
10:43No, no, I'm not the waiter.
10:48Jack, Jack, I'm sorry.
10:51I didn't recognize you in the dim light.
10:53That's all right.
10:54Jack, I want to meet Miss Diane Scott.
10:55Diane, this is Mr. Jack Benny.
10:57How do you do?
10:58Hello.
11:03Uh, Bob, uh, I didn't mean to interfere with your, uh, uh, your privacy,
11:09but, uh, the reason I came over here is I wanted to ask you
11:13if you'd like to be a guest on one of my television shows.
11:16Oh, Jack, that I would love very much.
11:18Listen, why don't I check with my agent on my, uh, availability?
11:21Gee, I hope you can make it.
11:23So do I.
11:24That would be great, and we'll talk about it later.
11:25Okay.
11:26And, uh, forgive me again for this interruption.
11:29Listen, are you, uh, are you sitting by yourself?
11:36Yes.
11:37Yes, I am.
11:38Well, then, why don't you join us?
11:40Please.
11:41Well, I, uh, I wouldn't...
11:44Oh, no, no, it's quite all right.
11:47Join us.
11:52Well, uh...
11:54Please.
12:04Thank you very much.
12:05Jack, listen, about, about, about this show you're speaking of.
12:08Uh, do you have any, uh, any definite ideas in mind?
12:11Well, naturally, Bob, you being on the show,
12:14they would want you to sing, you know, a couple of songs.
12:17And then, for a change of pace,
12:19it would be good if we did a, kind of a comedy sketch.
12:23You know.
12:24I think that would be a, a good idea.
12:26Don't you, Miss Scott?
12:28Call me Diane.
12:30Uh, now, as I was saying, Diane, I mean, Robert.
12:43You see, you were such a big hit in Camelot,
12:48that maybe the sketch ought to be an English costume play.
12:53Now, that, that would be a good idea.
12:55Don't you think so, Diane?
13:04Oh, I'm sorry I wasn't listening.
13:06I was admiring your eyes.
13:15They're blue, aren't they?
13:19Yes.
13:20Yes, they are.
13:24Diane, uh, my eyes are blue, too.
13:27Oh, really?
13:28I hadn't noticed.
13:34Well, what were you saying, Mr. Denny?
13:37May I call you Jack?
13:42Well, certainly.
13:46Oh, Jack, would you like to, uh, order anything?
13:49No.
13:50No, thank you.
13:51Well, let's see what they...
13:52Okay.
13:53Um, uh, Bob, you know, I was just thinking about the show again.
13:58And instead of doing comedy, being that you're the guest,
14:02it might be even a better idea if we devoted the whole half hour to songs.
14:08Now, that would be a good idea, I think.
14:10Don't you?
14:11You're so cute.
14:21You're so cute.
14:28Diane, please.
14:32Gee, I...
14:33I just don't know what to order.
14:37Oh, I'm sorry.
14:38I dropped my fork.
14:40I'll get her.
14:55Where can I meet you later?
14:57Meet me?
14:59Don't fight it.
15:00Look, just give me a little time and I'll get rid of him.
15:09Mr. Willey, you'll want it on the phone.
15:22Oh, thank you.
15:23Uh, will you excuse me for a minute, please?
15:27Now, Miss Scott.
15:29Diane.
15:30All right.
15:31Wait a minute, Diane.
15:32This is getting to be embarrassing.
15:34I know, but I can't help myself.
15:37I...
15:38I can't understand it.
15:39I mean, Robert is a good-looking fellow, too.
15:45Comparing him to you is like comparing beer to champagne.
15:52Well, I...
15:54I admit, I...
15:55I do have a bubbling personality.
15:57Ha, ha, ha, ha.
16:00But...
16:01Gee, I...
16:02I never thought of myself as being handsome.
16:05You've never seen yourself through the eyes of a woman in love.
16:14No.
16:16No, I...
16:17I haven't.
16:19Oh, no.
16:20Now, please, stop.
16:21After all, now, Diane.
16:23After all, you came here with Rob.
16:24I know.
16:25But I want to leave with you.
16:28Well, let's...
16:29Let's not be hasty.
16:31Let's...
16:32At least wait until he pays the check.
16:38Anything you say.
16:47Uh, Diane, that...
16:48That call was not for me.
16:49It was for you.
16:50Oh.
16:51Excuse me.
16:54Now, Jack...
16:56That call was not for Diane.
16:57I just...
16:58Wanted to take this opportunity to let you know that I have noticed what's been going on at this table.
17:15And under it.
17:16Sorry, sorry, sorry.
17:17You wrote us?
17:18Yes, yes.
17:19Now, Jack, please do me a favor.
17:20Would you please leave her alone?
17:22I mean, to you, she's...
17:23She's just a toy.
17:24Just a plaything.
17:25To me, Jack, she is everything.
17:27Now, you can get other women.
17:29Please, Jack.
17:30Leave her alone.
17:31Please.
17:32They all beg.
17:33First, it was Valentino.
17:34And Richard Burton.
17:35Now, you.
17:36Don't sit there whining.
17:37If you want the girl, fight for her.
17:38Jack, Jack, I'm no match for you.
17:39I know when I'm licked.
17:40Pathetic.
17:41That call wasn't for me.
17:42What happened to him?
17:50The beer went flat.
17:52for it Jack Jack I'm no match for you I know when I'm licked that call wasn't
18:05for me what happened to him the beer went flat here's your rap Diane let's go
18:22well that's exactly what happened you know it's a shame that it had to happen to such a nice guy
18:38but you know either you've got it or you haven't now let's see there was something I wanted to oh
18:47Don Don come out here a minute would you please Don I asked you to remind me of something what was
18:54it oh oh yes uh you wanted to tell the audience about your proposed concert tour oh yes yes that's
19:00right thank you Jack forgive me for interrupting you but I must go now I just wanted to say that
19:06it was it was such a pleasure singing on your show well it was certainly wonderful having you on the
19:11show and thank you you know it's just amazing that the two of you could come out and work as well as
19:16you did after what happened in that restaurant oh did Jack tell you about the incident not only me
19:23he was telling the audience about it just a moment before you came out I was so embarrassed really I
19:28felt terrible about it if I had known it was going to work out the way that I I would never have gone
19:33over to Jack's table you went over to Jack's table what's the difference he went to my table I went to
19:42his table well thanks thanks again and in good life wait a minute Robert don't go I I'm interested in this
19:49oh Don let him go will you no no no no Robert you said you were in the restaurant and you walked over to
19:58Jack's table yes that's right Jack Jack was sitting at a table with his girl Jack was with
20:04his girl down leave him alone will he has to go now now look Robert you're sure now you were in the
20:13restaurant seated all alone yes I I was seated at a table and I happen to be reading a menu when the
20:20waiter came over and handed me a note it was from Jack asking if I would mind dropping over to his
20:29table gee Jack it certainly was swell of you to bring me here well I I like you uh-huh
20:39Jack Jack a robber I got your note well good good now uh the reason I asked you to come over oh
20:51first first I want you to meet miss uh where'd she go I went to get him a chair
20:58now Bob
21:04now Bob the reason I asked you to come over is because I wanted to talk to you about being a guest
21:20on one of my television shows well I think that sounds wonderful Jack it was my idea
21:24Scott Diane Scott you could call me Di uh now Robert I've got a wonderful idea I got the whole show in
21:38mind now naturally when I first introduce you uh before I do I'll do my usual monologue you'll
21:44that one's maybe two three minutes you see then when I introduce you we'll do talk a few minutes you
21:50and I you see then I I know they'll want you to sing so you sing a couple of songs and then being
21:57that you are such a big hit in Camelot you see we should do a a scene an English costume play or
22:03something like that yeah I I like that I haven't I haven't done too many uh uh comedy shows and I
22:08think it'd be a nice very nice change oh then I can count on sure I don't see why not uh-oh Jack well my fork it slipped
22:16under the table would you get it for me well of course honey oh you gorgeous thing you
22:28I can't help myself you're irresistible
22:34don't worry about him I've got my foot on the back of his head
22:40oh
22:43I don't know, but I think she's trying to tell me something.
23:13What a fine friend you are.
23:18The minute my back is turned, you're trying to steal my girl.
23:21Oh, steal your girl, Jack.
23:22She came at me like she's been blasted off from Cape Canaveral.
23:25So that's it.
23:26Well, now, look, Di, you can't have both of us.
23:29So make up your mind which one you want.
23:31Someone who's conservative and dependable or a handsome playboy.
23:36Well, when you put it that way, there's only one decision.
23:40I'll take the handsome playboy.
23:42Too bad, Goulet, but you can't win them all.
23:57Well, you've seen both versions of what happened.
24:00Robert Goulet's version and my version.
24:03Now, whether you believe the girl was crazy about Goulet or nuts about me is entirely up to you.
24:15Good night, folks.
24:16I'll be seeing you soon.
24:20Good night, Bob.
24:21Good night, Diane.
24:22Good night, sir.
24:23Good night, Diane.
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