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00:00Once upon a time when things were rotten, not just food but also canes were rotten.
00:08Everybody kicked the pattern, things were bad and that ain't good.
00:12Then came Robin Hood, oh ba!
00:16Soon a band of merry men he'd gotten.
00:19They wore outfits made of plain grain cotton.
00:23Helping victims was their business, boy oh boy was business good.
00:27Good for Robin Hood.
00:30They laughed, they loved, they bought, they drank.
00:34They jumped a lot of fences.
00:38They robbed the rich, gave to the poor.
00:41Except for they kept more expensive.
00:45So when other legends are forgotten, we'll remember back when things were rotten.
00:52Yay for Robin Hood.
00:56They laughed, they loved, they bought, they drank.
00:59They jumped a lot of fences.
01:03They robbed the rich, gave to the poor.
01:06Except for they kept more expensive.
01:10So when other legends are forgotten, we'll remember back when things were rotten.
01:17So when other legends are forgotten, we'll remember back when things were rotten.
01:18We'll remember back when things were rotten.
01:19We'll remember back when things were rotten.
01:23And the third of the night was rotten.
01:26So you're not rotten.
01:27The only thing was rotten.
01:28So what I've heard about it, is that I'm really...
01:29The only thing was rotten.
01:30It's not a beer, it's not a beer...
01:31It's a beer, it's a beer, it's a beer...
01:33So you're not a beer, I'm not a beer, it was a beer.
01:35It's a beer, it's a beer...
01:36It's a beer.
01:38I'd like a bit more wine here, please.
01:44It's enough, enough, enough, enough.
01:46Have some grapes, please.
01:48Hang on to the pan.
01:54This is charming.
01:56Bertram, announce the main course.
01:58And do not shout in my ear.
02:08Oh.
02:10Oh, allow me to do the honors, my liege.
02:13I'll have a drumstick, Hubert.
02:15Lovey, that's an ox.
02:19Oxes don't have drumsticks.
02:22Oh.
02:24Make it a wing.
02:27I'll just have a small post and some crackers.
02:31Ah, home cooking.
02:35Ah, I certainly missed it up north.
02:40What were you doing in the north country, Bertram?
02:42I went up there to collect delinquent taxes.
02:44Well, I am fed up with their habitual tardiness.
02:48Last month they said that their taxes got lost in the laundry.
02:52What's their excuse this month?
02:55Equally poor, they blamed it on the plague, huh?
02:58And they expect us to be sympathetic?
03:01The plague?
03:03Mm.
03:04Death.
03:05Your basic plague.
03:06People lying in the streets.
03:08Moaning, groaning, giving out with occasional shrieks.
03:12Eyes bulging out, coursing.
03:14Oh, Sheriff.
03:15You haven't touched your food.
03:17I've lost my appetite, thank you.
03:20Let me see.
03:21Where was I?
03:22Oh, yes.
03:23Moldy breath, neuritis and neuralgia, fingernails curling,
03:26eyelashes falling off, teeth itching, nostrils flaring,
03:30Upsetic equilibrium, equilibrium too.
03:33Believe me, you don't want to hear about it.
03:39Oh!
03:40Oh!
03:41Stop packing!
03:42We gotta get out of here.
03:43We served them the wrong ox, and it was contaminated.
03:46They gonna get so sick, and when they get better,
03:49we better not be here.
03:51From now on, we're known as the Galloping Gourmets.
03:57Alige, it is proclamation time.
04:07I hereby proclaim that we obey King Richard's urgent request
04:12to send him the Royal Seal of England,
04:15the only authorized seal of approval without which
04:18he cannot sign treaties and could maybe end up dead.
04:24The end.
04:28Let no man say that we are not loyal to the wishes of King Richard.
04:34The Royal Seal.
04:36Well, there it is, lads.
04:51King Richard's Royal Seal.
04:53The official mark of England.
04:56Yes, and without it, King Richard is powerless
04:58to make the alliances he needs to return home safely.
05:01But we'll get it to Richard on the next boat to the Crusades.
05:03Let's go.
05:07Wait!
05:08No, this way.
05:09I know a shortcut this chambermaid told me.
05:11Now that's what I call good main servants.
05:29Quiet, man.
05:30This way.
05:33Ah-hah.
05:34Uh-hah.
05:36Uh-huh, uh-huh.
06:00Guys! Guys!
06:07Da-da-da-da! Da-da-da-da!
06:11Da-da-da-da-da!
06:13Da-da-da-da!
06:15Da-da-da-da!
06:17Da-da-da-da-da!
06:20Da-da-da-da!
06:22Da-da-da-da-da!
06:24I don't suppose you're going to let this, uh-
06:27Buddy hop our way out of here, are you?
06:30Boogaloo.
06:33Very well, then it's business as usual.
06:38Ready? Of course.
06:59Ah!
07:01Ah!
07:09Ah!
07:13Ah!
07:21Ah!
07:23That's the last time I missed fencing practice.
07:31Prepare to die!
07:45I've got the plague!
07:47Help me! Someone! I think I've got the plague!
07:49The plague!
07:51The plague's all over me.
07:53Wait!
07:55If it is the plague, no one must leave this room.
07:59Your Majesty! Your Majesty!
08:01Your Majesty!
08:03Are you crazy? I want out!
08:07We run a grave risk of infecting all of Nottingham.
08:11A pox on Nottingham!
08:13Precisely. Then who will you have to tax, to oppress, to scourge and humiliate?
08:17Good point, Robin.
08:19Although I hate to admit it, I think you may be right.
08:23Oh, that hurt.
08:25Listen, all of you.
08:27To keep the plague from spreading, we must stay here for 24 hours.
08:31That's the incubation period.
08:33Now, after that time, everyone who's still alive may leave.
08:37Everyone who's not.
08:39Well, I'm afraid you'll have to stay.
08:41I will be hearing confessions over there.
08:43It might be smart to have your bets covered.
08:47If you know what I mean.
08:49And I think you do.
08:51Robin.
08:53Let us keep one thing straight.
08:55This throne room is my turf.
08:57I'll run the show, not you.
08:59I don't know, Sheriff.
09:01When it comes to leadership, I'm a natural, you know.
09:03I have an image to maintain here.
09:05Very well.
09:07It's your plague.
09:09You there.
09:11Guard.
09:12Isolate all the plague victims and make them comfortable.
09:14Ladies, fold some bandages and get plenty of hot water.
09:17I thought we agreed that I would be in charge here.
09:20Well, what do you want from me?
09:22It's in my blood.
09:23Oof.
09:25Oof.
09:26Oof.
09:27Oof.
09:28Oof.
09:29Oof.
09:30Oof.
09:31Oof.
09:32Oof.
09:33Oof.
09:34Oof.
09:35Oof.
09:36Oof.
09:37Oof.
09:38Oof.
09:39Oof.
09:40Oof.
09:41Oof.
09:42someone help please.
09:43Prince John.
09:44It's a plague.
09:45Don't give up my leash.
09:46Hang in there.
09:48I had you fooled, didn't I?
09:49No.
09:50T'ain't funny, John boy.
09:54Phooey!
10:01You did what?
10:04For your penance, do five Hail Marys and eight Our Fathers.
10:10That!
10:12And 20 push-ups.
10:16Folding, folding, folding.
10:20Oh!
10:30Isabelle, that was wonderful!
10:33You can get up now, Isabelle.
10:35I'm afraid she's not joking, Prince John.
10:38Oh, no.
10:40What a downer.
10:50It's young Gilbert, Robin.
10:52Have courage, Gilbert.
10:53Men, see to him.
11:00Robert, my hands are shaking.
11:02My mouth is drier than a dust mop.
11:04I'm dripping with sweat.
11:05You think I'm coming down with a plague?
11:07I don't think so, little John.
11:09Like all of us, you're just a little scared.
11:11Me?
11:12Scared?
11:13Little John scared?
11:15I've never been afraid of anything in my life.
11:18Hold me.
11:20Oh, Robin, I'm so scared.
11:21Hey, Rob, this plague isn't kidding around, man.
11:31That's too down.
11:33I know, Ronaldo, but whatever happens, we must get the seal to King Richard.
11:37Yeah.
11:37The way we're dropping off, the seal's going to have to take the seal to King Richard.
11:41It won't be easy, but if I know our friend, the sheriff, whoever is left standing will
11:47have to fight their way out of here.
11:49If any of the merry men are left standing, they'll have to fight their way out of here.
11:53What did I tell you?
11:54You will soon need your strength.
11:56Fill your bellies.
11:57I recommend the bagels and docks.
12:11Oh, Friar, we're going to miss you, man.
12:21Thank you, Ronaldo.
12:22What do you mean?
12:23You're going to pull through, Friar.
12:24Friar, you have to pull through.
12:26I don't know, Robin.
12:28This plague is bigger than the both of me.
12:31Robin, I don't think I can handle this.
12:33Courage, little John.
12:35Now, listen.
12:37All of you.
12:38I want...
12:40Oh, I want you all to carry on.
12:48Clients, clients, clients.
12:51I don't think that's what the Friar had in mind.
12:54Right, Friar?
12:54Not really.
12:58Maid Marian wanted in plague ward four.
13:00Maid Marian wanted in plague ward four.
13:03I have to go now.
13:05Oh, one last question.
13:08Do you have major medical?
13:09Sheriff, could I ask you a favor, please?
13:15Of course, Bertram, if it's a small one.
13:17Could you fetch me another pillow?
13:23A bit higher?
13:27Just a bit lower, please.
13:36Maybe a smidge to the left.
13:42A bit to the right.
13:43Bertram!
13:44One last request, then.
13:52Very well, Bertram.
13:53What is it?
13:56I want to be one of Robin's merry men.
14:00What?
14:02Better one of them should go
14:04than one of us.
14:06Yes, my Bertram.
14:10I've genuinely touched.
14:12Did you fluff up my pillow?
14:17A bit to the left.
14:21A smidge to the right.
14:23That's nice.
14:35Robin.
14:37Come quickly.
14:37I think Friar Tuck's taking a turn for the worse.
14:39He's acting awfully funny.
14:48Friar.
14:49Why are you acting so strangely?
14:50I'm just hearing my own confession, Robin.
14:54That's good, Friar.
14:55Because I've got a little confession of my own to make.
15:00Pay to your attention, please.
15:02And now I'd like to introduce to you
15:04your next plague victim,
15:06a wonderful human being
15:08and close personal friend,
15:11me.
15:13But I want to tell you...
15:20Alan.
15:21Dear Alan.
15:23I'm going fast, Rubble.
15:25Please.
15:26Listen.
15:28One last request.
15:30What?
15:32Melancholy baby?
15:34Another of their side bites the dust.
15:37We will soon outnumber them.
15:39Is that good, Hubert?
15:40Yes.
15:42Oh.
15:42It just occurred to me
15:44this plague might have a silver lining.
15:47What?
15:48Yes.
15:50Today might be the day
15:51that we see the great Robin Hood
15:54double over in pain.
15:57Oh!
15:58Yes, yes, that's the idea.
16:00And then fall to the floor with a thud.
16:02Oh!
16:02Yes, that's it, exactly.
16:05And then he would begin
16:06to moan piteously
16:08and cry for help.
16:10Help!
16:11Help!
16:12I really mean it this time.
16:13Hubert, please!
16:16My liege!
16:22He's good.
16:25The die is cast.
16:30The prince has fallen.
16:33But we shall survive
16:35for we are the strongest.
16:37This is a simple matter
16:39of mind over matter
16:40and all that matters
16:41in this matter
16:41is our minds
16:43and if our minds matter
16:44this plague won't matter
16:45no matter what.
16:47What's the matter?
16:50Alan, are you comfortable?
16:52Yeah, I make a nice living.
16:53I got a few coins tucked away.
16:56So sue me, I'm irrepressible.
17:02Marianne.
17:03Yes, Sheriff?
17:04I am a man of few words
17:06and our present situation
17:07cries out for bluntness.
17:09I have always been,
17:12whenever I see your face,
17:14all these years,
17:16your presence
17:17are kind of stirring.
17:20How shall I say it?
17:22all these years?
17:25Oh, Robin.
17:27How I wish we could be together
17:28these final moments.
17:30So do I, Marianne.
17:31For once,
17:32I envy the Sheriff
17:33talking to my beloved.
17:35?
17:39How is it?
17:52How is it?
17:53Me, sir.
17:53I am sorry.
17:53How is it?
17:54How is it?
17:56How is it?
17:57How is it?
17:58How is it?
17:59How is it?
18:00How is it?
18:02In a dark world
18:03or in a dark world
18:04What I'm trying to say is that I think I love you.
18:34Thanks, but I'm already going steady.
18:45Ronaldo, it looks like we might not pull through this, and in case we don't, well, I just want you to know that I'm sorry for all the times I've mistrusted you.
19:00I'm proud to have served in the Merry Men with you.
19:04Hey, that's nice, man. Thanks.
19:11Hey, you're big and strong. You're going to make it.
19:16But in case I don't make it, I want you to have this belt buckle.
19:24Gee, thanks.
19:27Wait a minute. This is mine.
19:30Oh, that's where I got it.
19:33Oh, oh, oh. Robin, quick. It's Little John.
19:36Oh, oh, oh. Robin, quick. It's Little John.
19:52What? Robin, pick his meat.
19:54Oh, see it, Ronaldo. I can take it.
19:56Ronaldo, hang in there.
19:57I'm going, Robin. I'm going, going, going on.
20:00No, no, no, no. You can make it, Ronaldo.
20:01I'm going. This is it. I can tell.
20:04I see your whole life passing before my eyes.
20:08No, no, Ronaldo. You're supposed to see your life, not mine.
20:12I know, but you met a better class of people.
20:14Well, it's up to me now. I'm alone now. I'm the last.
20:27Wrong, Robin. It seems it's just the four of us.
20:33You, me, Maid Marian, and him.
20:37Her.
20:39Sorry.
20:41Fitting irony, don't you agree?
20:44That you and I are the last to remain?
20:47Yes.
20:49But I'll not let the plague do my job for me.
20:52Nor is mine.
20:53A battle to the end, then.
21:05Solve this. I won't have any fighting.
21:08Sorry, Marian, but this is between us.
21:13All right, drop them.
21:15Freeze.
21:16Marian, put that thing down.
21:18No. Drop those swords.
21:20I'll use this if I have to.
21:23You're bluffing.
21:24Try me.
21:25I think she means business.
21:27Maybe, but she can only get one of us.
21:29Yes, and I hope I'm not the one.
21:31Drop them.
21:32Okay, back away from them.
21:36Nice and easy.
21:38No tricks.
21:42That's better.
21:43Now sit down at the table, and no more fighting.
21:53Marian may be right.
21:54You don't look quite up to snuff for a battle anyway.
21:57You look a little peaked yourself, Sheriff.
21:58Nothing that a little food wouldn't cure.
22:00I haven't eaten all day.
22:01Come to think of it, I haven't either.
22:03Nor I.
22:03I hardly touched my salad at the banquet.
22:11Did Bertram have a chance to sup before he keeled over?
22:15Bertram, the scavenger, ate the ox like a pig.
22:18Oh, you're much too harsh, Sheriff.
22:20Everyone ate heartily.
22:22Except you and I, of course.
22:31It's the ox.
22:32Of course it's the ox.
22:33What'd you think it was, chicken?
22:35No, no, no, no.
22:36It's the ox, all right.
22:39That was delicious.
22:41A toast to good food, good wine, and bad women.
22:45And to good King Richard.
22:47Well, I know you don't like him, but that's ridiculous.
22:52No, it's the plague.
22:54Oh, that's what it is.
22:58Goodbye, cruel world.
23:01Thanks for the memories.
23:03I have no regrets.
23:04I did it my way.
23:07I leave my legacy of evil resting gentle on my mind.
23:12Sheriff, pity me not, Robin.
23:15Oh, nay, nay.
23:17Pity yourself, for you won't have Hubert to kick around anymore.
23:24Good night, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are.
23:28It's a pity to weigh such a great death scene.
23:38What do you mean?
23:40It wasn't the plague.
23:41It was a simple case of 24-hour ox poisoning.
23:43The corridors are clear, Robin.
23:45Well, Sheriff, we hate to do your work for you,
23:47but we'll see to it that King Richard gets his royal seal.
23:50Away, lads.
23:50You know, Sheriff, I was just thinking.
24:08Yes, Bertram?
24:09Well, it's a shame it wasn't the plague.
24:13If it were, Robin Hood would be dead now.
24:17Bertram, so would we.
24:19You know what, Herbert?
24:20That's Hubert, my liege.
24:22Right.
24:23Hubert.
24:25After a scare like the plague,
24:27I'm glad I'm still a living, breathing member of the Herman race.
24:31That's human race, my liege.
24:34Good night, Princess Isabel.
24:36Good night, Sheriff.
24:38Good night, John Boy.
24:39Good night, Isabel.
24:41Good night, Marion.
24:42Good night, Prince John.
24:44Good night, Marion.
24:46Good night, Sheriff.
24:48Good night, Bertram.
24:49We never saw that ox again.
24:51And as I grew older, I often wondered what became of it,
24:54and if it ever knew the part it played in teaching us all a great lesson.
24:58That memorable day in Nottingham Castle,
25:00when things were rotten.
25:02The End
25:04The End
25:05THE END
25:35THE END
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