Family Guy - Season 23 Episode 13 The Fat Lotus
#EnglishMovie #cdrama #drama #engsub #chinesedramaengsub #movieshortfull
#EnglishMovie #cdrama #drama #engsub #chinesedramaengsub #movieshortfull
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00:00Transcription by CastingWords
00:30Transcription by CastingWords
01:00Transcription by CastingWords
01:30Man, Bermuda's beautiful, isn't it?
01:32You bet. And now I can cross another place off my Kokomo bucket list.
01:36What's that?
01:37Oh, I sort of use the lyrics to Kokomo as my life's itinerary.
01:41I don't have a travel agent. I just have Kokomo.
01:44Hmm. I do recall your trips to Aruba and Montego.
01:48Yep. And now Bermuda.
01:49Uh, I did Benihana.
01:51Not Benihana.
01:52Sure is. It's the cheapest one, honestly.
01:54Boy, I can't wait till we can finally go to Kokomo.
01:57Kokomo isn't real, Joe.
01:59It's a common misconception.
02:01If you go to all the others, you unlock Kokomo.
02:04Only thing about Kokomo, though, is you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.
02:09That's something else entirely.
02:10Welcome to the White Lotus Bermuda.
02:20Named after the sports car, not the flower.
02:22Wow, Brian, you look so handsome in that suit.
02:25And I can't believe they already promoted you to manager.
02:28Honestly, Lois, working here has been just the change I needed.
02:31I made the choice to sober up and start a new clean life.
02:34Me and Jeffrey can't believe we's finally in the Bermuda Guy Angle, where we hear lots of handsome men have mysteriously gone down over the years.
02:45This is already a good trip.
02:47For a grand a night, that should really be an iPad.
02:57Wow, look at this room. And what a beautiful painting.
03:02Ah, yes, by a talented local artist.
03:04It depicts the legend of a fat husband who ignored his wife, so she beheaded him and had sex with his best friend, who was a regional airline pilot.
03:12Man, I just don't get art.
03:13Yeah, great. Can we just get to my room?
03:15I've been holding in a dump since America.
03:18Look at us, Peter.
03:19Huh?
03:20Finally on a romantic vacation together.
03:23Oh, you know what?
03:24Let's have crazy vacation sex right here, right now.
03:29Eh, I don't know. Maybe later.
03:30I mean, you know my kryptonite is drapes that can open by a button.
03:33Pick your poison, Lois. Just the shears. Full blackout. Or...
03:37Uh, I think I broke it.
03:38Oh, forget it. I'll be at the pool.
03:41Okay, I'll meet you down there. I need 20 minutes for those red lines from my socks to smooth out.
03:45Oh, Brian, I'm so glad you're here. I never do this, but one of the bellhops yelled at me when I was playing on the baggage cart, and I want him fired.
03:57Stewie, he has three children.
03:59Yeah, again, I never do this.
04:01Why are you dressed like that?
04:02Oh, when I go on vacation, I like to spice things up by adopting a travel persona named Desmond Voyage.
04:08Oh, and one other teensy thing. I actually specifically requested an ocean view room.
04:13You have an ocean view room?
04:15Uh, technically, I'm looking out onto a bay.
04:17It's water.
04:18Yeah, a bay is actually a curvature in the shoreline that creates an inlet. I don't want to have to look at any land.
04:24Ugh.
04:25Oh, hey there. We's just gonna scooch in next to you.
04:28But sorry if we get loud. We's just settling an argument about what the deal is with Hilaria Baldwin.
04:34I'll tell you her deal. She's a woman from Boston named Hilary Hayward Thomas, who on her first date with Alec Baldwin probably said pour favor to a waiter to seem exotic, and has been called playing as a Latina ever since.
04:46Hmm, I like you. What's your name?
04:49Unless you don't want to say, because it's boring and ordinary.
04:53Desmond Voyage.
04:54Ooh.
04:56Desmond, would you join me, Jeffrey, and Dennis for dinner tonight?
04:59Well, that depends on the menu, because I'm gluten-free. Not medically, just for the drama.
05:04Mm-hmm.
05:09Come on, Chris. The drinking age in Bermuda is only 18, so I want to buy some rum to pound so I can get totally blitzed.
05:16It honestly makes me sad you feel the need to show off to your own brother.
05:24Oh, my God. I must have this.
05:28What? Some lame touristy t-shirt?
05:30Meg, according to high school law, vacation shirts equal status, and Neil Goldman has been rubbing Senior Frogs Cancun in my face for far too long.
05:40Fine. We'll get the rum and the t-shirt.
05:44That'll be $90.
05:46$90?
05:47How much for just the shirt?
05:48$40.
05:49How much for nothing?
05:51That's $5.
05:52Hotels! What are you going to do? Take a cab to a pharmacy?
06:01Oh, my God. I can't wait to see St. David's Lighthouse.
06:04I know.
06:04What are we going to do with a stupid lighthouse? Wake me when it's a roadhouse.
06:10Peter, you're driving!
06:12Sorry.
06:12Holy crap! Did you guys see that?
06:17World's best cheesecake!
06:22In Bermuda?
06:24Peter, there's no way that's true.
06:26Yeah, I don't know, Lois. Who am I going to listen to?
06:27My wife or a sign on the side of the highway?
06:29Damn it, Peter! I will not let you ruin another trip for me!
06:33Come on, Glenn. Let's go see that lighthouse.
06:35Fine. Go.
06:37Taxi!
06:37Taxi!
06:37Taxi!
06:42Good afternoon, sir. May I interest you...
06:55Sorry, I'm from the United States, so I'm scared to talk to anyone from the island who doesn't work at the resort.
07:10Front desk, this is Brian.
07:11Yes, I'd like to request a wake-up call for tomorrow, even though every human on Earth now has an alarm clock in their pocket.
07:17Oh, hey, Stewie. Sorry again about the mix-up with your room, but I hope you're enjoying the apology fruit platter I sent up.
07:23Eh, it's mostly honeydew, and not a berry to be found on the whole plate.
07:27What do you mean? They're strawberries.
07:28Not technically a berry. It's actually an aggregate accessory fruit.
07:32It's got the word berry in the name. Doesn't make it a berry.
07:34It's also got the word straw, but I'm not sipping my drink through it.
07:37So now I'm sitting here staring at a bay with a plate of aggregate accessory fruit and wondering how you plan to make this up to me.
07:44Oh, hey, Peter. How's the trip going?
07:47Awesome, Brian. Not only did I manage to find the world's best cheesecake, I even brought back an extra piece.
07:53Hey, I saw Lois and Quagmire have been posting a ton of stuff on Instagram. Seems like they had quite a day.
07:58Does this bother you at all?
08:04No way. I'm doing vacation exactly right. Some idiot's taking my wife to all the boring places I don't want to go.
08:11Meanwhile, I'm at the hotel just eating cheesecake and ordering more towels.
08:15Hey, can I get more towels to room 412?
08:17Hmm. I think I'll get the salmon.
08:25The salmon, huh? I think that's a great idea.
08:28Oh, my God. What is that?
08:31It's a Christmas ornament I got at the Lighthouse gift shop.
08:33Oh, I just love small things that remind me of big things I've seen.
08:39Settle down. Another Oreo cookie milkshake with vodka in it.
08:42You know, I'm feeling a little hot in these pants. I may just go upstairs real quick to change into a sarong.
08:49Huh. I feel like I'd also like to slip into my sarong. Sarong run?
08:53You okay with them spending so much time together?
08:56Yeah. No one in the history of the world has ever gone on a sarong run.
09:00Relax. It's fine. And no amount of ominous waves crashing onto a rocky shore are gonna change my mind.
09:12Now, Rupert, we mustn't let our new friends see that we are anything but adults, just like they are.
09:18So, Desmond, what did you do today?
09:19Oh, I spent most of the day in the business center, as adults do.
09:23Really?
09:24Yes, they're running an Epson ET-5180 in there.
09:27Not my preferred choice, but, you know, thing jammed and I didn't even cry.
09:30No tantrum. Just kept on doing my business.
09:34You guys, let's totally do credit card roulette to see who pays for dinner. Right?
09:38Oh, indeed. Here's mine.
09:43This is a Peppa Pig bookmark.
09:45No, no, they let you customize the credit card. I almost went with the Montreal Expos.
09:49They're not a team anymore.
09:51Yeah, I'm a big nostalgia guy.
09:52Oh, there you are, Stuart. I mean, uh, Mr. Voyage.
09:56With apologies for the earlier fruit plate, please accept this complimentary seafood tower.
10:00Great. Now, could you bring us another one that you haven't talked all over?
10:03And I'd say this is less a seafood tower than it is a seafood duplex.
10:09Perhaps you'd prefer a complimentary bottle of our finest Riesling?
10:12Oh, that's sweet.
10:13It's the least we could do.
10:15No, I'm talking about the Riesling.
10:16I didn't realize this was a bachelorette party in Nashville.
10:19Just bring back another seafood tower and the score of the Expos game.
10:23That was amazing.
10:25Desmond, you absolutely have to join us on our yacht tomorrow.
10:29Yacht? I say, that sounds lovely.
10:31Yay! We's gonna sail too, and then hike up a volcano called the Purple Head.
10:37That's right. We's gonna start at the base and then work our way to the tip.
10:41You've gotta be careful, though, because the Purple Head's been known to erupt when you least expect it.
10:46I even heard it's created the world's biggest ash hole.
10:48I'm gonna join this table.
10:50Peter, it seems like it's been a while since Quagmire and Lois went upstairs.
10:55Yeah, fine. I'll go check on them.
10:56Oh, my God!
11:04And I gotta clean it all up!
11:07Yes, this is Rum 412. Can I have some more towels, please?
11:16Mike, look! It's that shirt!
11:18Oh, God, I want it so bad!
11:21You know, there is one way for me to get that rum and for you to get that t-shirt.
11:26We could always shoplift them.
11:28Shoplift? Who do I look like?
11:30Celebrity film critic Rex Reed?
11:32Convicted killer Robert Durst?
11:34Journeyman quarterback Jameis Winston?
11:37Okay, I'm not exactly sure what this is, but...
11:40Yeah.
11:44Hmm. Okay, I'm not sure how we...
11:46Relax. I got this.
11:48Go into a changing room, put the rum in your backpack.
11:50Meanwhile, I'll go into another changing room, put the shirt on,
11:52then casually walk out like I came in wearing it.
11:55Okay. Got it.
12:01What are you doing?
12:02Run! Run! I messed up!
12:04Ah!
12:08Desmond, you made it!
12:09Yes, I'm sorry I'm late.
12:10I was in the business center helping Mr. Takahashi log into his United account.
12:15Do you know he's 75?
12:16I have no idea who you're talking about.
12:19All right, now could someone please help me onto the boat like a woman?
12:22Yes, there you are. Just guide me by my wrist and elbow.
12:25So, heading up the volcano again?
12:27Yep.
12:28And just like every year, when we reach the top,
12:31we're all going to make a sacrifice.
12:35Sacrifice?
12:36No wonder they've been so nice to me, Rupert.
12:38They're going to make a sacrifice to the volcano!
12:40And I'm the only virgin on this boat!
12:42No, no, no, I don't care if you found Jesus.
12:45What happened before still counts.
12:53Caught shoplifting booze and a t-shirt?
12:56What were you guys thinking?
12:57I'm sorry, Brian.
12:58I was just trying to keep up with Neil Goldman.
13:01Oh, yeah, that Senior Frog's Cancun shirt?
13:04Oh, yeah, no, that thing's badass.
13:05But Meg, it says here you not only stole rum,
13:08but also two tiny novelty license plates that say Mel and Greg?
13:12I was going to cut them in half and solder them together to spell Meg.
13:15There's no way people are still naming their kids Mel.
13:18Like, name one Mel under 50.
13:21I think we're getting off track.
13:22I'm just saying, you can stop printing the Mel's.
13:25We don't print them.
13:26Okay, then you can stop ordering the Mel's.
13:28Hey, Lois, open wide.
13:39Glenn, I want you to take my cherry.
13:42Yeah, I'll take your cherry.
13:44You want my crust?
13:45Ew, no.
13:46I mean, I like crust, but don't say it like that.
13:50This is Brian.
14:00Brian, this is a resort executive in a heavily embroidered open-collar shirt.
14:04We've gotten several complaints from a very important guest, Desmond Voyage,
14:08including the fact that the in-room movie selections don't include Michael Clayton,
14:13despite there clearly being a still image of it on the home screen.
14:17Frickin' Stewie.
14:18He says, for him, falling asleep to George Clooney shouting about toxic agrochemicals
14:23scratches a very specific itch.
14:26Yep, I'll handle it.
14:27Thanks.
14:29Ah, I've missed you, Captain.
14:40And I've missed you, Brett.
14:43It's... it's Brian.
14:44Oh, sorry. I... I guess I'm always super-wasted when we hang out.
14:54Hey, so... this seems far enough, right?
14:58Like, I bet if we turn around now, we can still get back in time to make fun of the cabana waitress
15:03with the lopsided boob job.
15:05Huh?
15:05Dammit, Rupert. We're running out of time.
15:07I've got a signal. I've got to call Brian.
15:11Hello?
15:11Brian, help! I'm hiking to the top of a volcano where I'm going to be thrown to my death as a sacrifice!
15:17Screw you, Stewie. You've turned my job into a total nightmare.
15:20Hey, you-you think a novel set inside a mushroom would be a good idea?
15:24Except-except you wouldn't know it's a mushroom until the very last page. I'd call it Mushroom Surprise.
15:30Well, that kind of gives it away.
15:32No, no, because in the story, that-that's the guy's favorite soup, so, like, that's what you think it means.
15:37Honestly, I don't get the whole soup angle. It seems needlessly confusing.
15:40You don't know! You always think you're better than me! Well, you're not!
15:44In fact, I've met a ton of celebrities at this job.
15:47Name one.
15:48Um, Brad? Brad somebody? He was in, uh...
15:53Go to hell, Stewie! I'm not helping you!
15:56Brian, please, don't hang up!
15:57Oh, Rupert, I'm so scared! This may finally be the end for me!
16:01Hello? Brian?
16:02I remembered which Brad it was. It was Toby Huss.
16:05So, is there something you want to tell me?
16:17Oh, nothing. Just swam with a dolphin this morning. No biggie.
16:21Not you!
16:22It actually was me. Check Facebook.
16:24Peter, uh, Lois and I don't know what you're talking about.
16:27I know you've been eating cheesecake with my wife behind my back! You left a used napkin in the couch!
16:32Okay, fine, Peter. It just, it looked too good.
16:36Quagmire and I each had one bite, but that's it!
16:39It's true! After that, we both felt so guilty, we threw the rest of it off the balcony and into the ocean!
16:45Wow, this is, like, the world's best cheesecake.
16:48Yeah, I saw the sign.
16:50I'm sorry we lied to you, Peter, but...
16:53Look, I think there's a part of me that was angry.
16:56You seem to care more about a dumb piece of cheesecake than being on a romantic vacation with your wife.
17:02It's my fault too, Lois. I'm sorry I've been kind of neglecting you this trip.
17:06Hey, I know. How about we flush the whole afternoon down the tubes by wandering through a bunch of boring, overpriced boutiques?
17:13Oh, that's all any woman wants. I love you, Peter.
17:17Okay, Desmond, the moment has arrived. Time to step up to the lip of the volcano.
17:30This is it, Rupert. If Lizzo ever writes back, I want you to have the letter.
17:42Put it in a frame I would like. Talk to Kurt and Aaron Brothers. He's fantastic.
17:46Yay! We did it!
18:01Did what?
18:02I thought Dennis said you were all going to make a sacrifice.
18:05That's right. The sacrifice is that we's posting a pic with no filter and no Photoshop.
18:12And post it!
18:15Ooh, first comment.
18:17So brave to post such a terrible photo of yourselves.
18:21Ah, delete, delete, delete.
18:22Fine, Stewie. Maybe we don't have Michael Clayton.
18:37But we got that Matt Damon fracking movie.
18:39It's basically the same thing.
18:41What's that? What's it called?
18:42I want to say frack Damon.
18:45Oh, and not enough berries on your plate?
18:46I got some berries for you of the dingle variety.
18:52Oh, Ski-pie.
19:18No, no, no.
19:20you know posting that photo wasn't the only sacrifice we made today really yep you won't
19:31find a single carb on this boat um flatbread is a carb oh my god he's right why did we think that
19:38just because it's flat i must have had two boxes my hat that no one likes
19:44oh no
19:52oh no
19:54so sad the lifeguard said the sharks were lured
20:22to the resort because someone threw cheesecake in the water oh is that right i don't know if i's
20:30ever gonna recover i could come back with you oh let the healing begin oh hey where have you been
20:38at the duty-free shop buying six cartons of cigarettes a jug of dior perfume and a tin of
20:43wafer cookies oh did you get a good deal i have no idea and what about you you're coming home with us
20:49yeah i actually got fired for dragging my ass on every inch of a guest's hotel room
20:53oh epic even their pillow yep nice maybe next year we'll go to the white lotus in thailand
21:00yeah i hear it's not as good
21:01yeah i hear it
21:07if you're out of Alle's freedom
21:09yeah we're good
21:09yeah we're good
21:13and we're good
21:14yeah
21:15oh
21:16yeah
21:16you
21:17yeah
21:18yeah
21:19yeah
21:19yeah
21:21yeah
21:23yeah
21:23yeah
21:25yeah
21:27yeah
21:28yeah
21:29yeah
21:29yeah
21:29yeah
21:29yeah
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