Family Guy - Season 23 Episode 00 A Little Fright Music
#EnglishMovie #cdrama #drama #engsub #chinesedramaengsub #movieshortfull
#EnglishMovie #cdrama #drama #engsub #chinesedramaengsub #movieshortfull
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00It seems today that all you see is violence in movies and sex on TV.
00:07But where are those good old-fashioned values on which we used to rely?
00:15But she is a family guy.
00:18But she is a man who wants to do and can do all the things that make us laugh and cry.
00:25He's a family guy.
00:30Well, it's October.
00:40Time to spend $35 on something that costs about 19 cents the rest of the year.
00:44You made me come here. You don't get to complain.
00:47Okay, fine. Let's find a pumpkin.
00:51This one's too soft and soggy. My finger poked right through it.
00:55Yeah, let me just take this out of your way, Mom.
00:58You and I are going to have a wonderful holiday together.
01:03How many times do we have to hear Monster Mash?
01:08I guess there aren't any other Halloween songs.
01:10Sure there are.
01:11Ghostbusters?
01:11No, that's not a Halloween song.
01:13Um, Zombie?
01:14No.
01:15Spooky?
01:15Nah.
01:16Witchy Woman?
01:16Nah, nah.
01:17Somebody's Watching Me?
01:17Nah, not even close.
01:18Don't Fear the Reaper?
01:19Nope.
01:20Highway to Hell?
01:20Eh!
01:21Wrong!
01:21Black Magic Woman?
01:22Nope.
01:22Okay, I got it.
01:23Thriller.
01:24Well, scary, but for the wrong reason.
01:26Can you imagine the things that pet monkey must have witnessed?
01:29Neverland?
01:30More like always land.
01:33Can I get a refill and a diaper change over here?
01:36Come on.
01:46Hi, Lois.
01:47Still getting all your decorations up?
01:50Yep.
01:51And it would probably take less time if anyone from the house would come out and help me.
01:56Well, maybe a little less girl talk and you'd be done by now.
02:00Halloween got you down, Lois.
02:02Honestly, I am sick of it.
02:04Used to be just for kids.
02:06Dress up, get some candy, but now grown-ups have hijacked it.
02:10It's like a stupid week-long convention where even adults wear costumes.
02:14And who decided every year we all have to turn our yards into some crazy elaborate set from a horror movie?
02:20Look, everyone's doing it, even Quagmire.
02:25Wow, that's quite a display, Glenn.
02:27It's eerie.
02:28They almost look human.
02:29Yeah, that's the idea.
02:32Guys, I need help deciding on my Halloween costumes.
02:38So just sit here and I'm going to model them for you.
02:43Ugh, not this song again.
02:48Hmm, let me guess.
02:49Fabio at his prom holding a stick?
02:52No, I'm sexually charged lesbian conductor Lydia Tarr.
02:56Yeah, I'm not sure people will get that.
02:58Okay, how about this?
03:01No, I'm sexually charged bisexual conductor Leonard Maestro.
03:05His name's not Leonard Maestro.
03:07Whatever, all the kids this year want to be horny conductors.
03:11What else you got?
03:12I'm sorry, but I simply cannot listen to this song any longer.
03:15Me neither.
03:15How can there not be any other Halloween songs?
03:18Brian, that's it.
03:19We should write a new Halloween song.
03:22We could be rich.
03:23Halloween song, huh?
03:25Well, I suppose I could toss a few bon mots into the witch's cauldron.
03:28Forget it.
03:29No, no, no, no.
03:30It's a good idea.
03:30Sorry about the bon mot stuff.
03:32Let's do it.
03:33All right, well, I did have one thought.
03:34Check it out.
03:35Halloween, Halloween, happy Halloween.
03:39Whoa, kind of catchy, right?
03:40Well, yeah, it's Jingle Bells-ish.
03:44Oh, well, there's your winner, Chris.
03:47Amazing.
03:48The fat thighs, misshapen breasts,
03:50and you even put olive oil under the arms for the pit stains.
03:54Wait, who are you supposed to be?
03:55I'm Grimsburg.
03:57Who?
03:58Uh-oh.
03:58Which means I'm Meg.
04:00Uh-oh.
04:04We now return to Abbott and Costello Elementary.
04:07Okay, so as the new vice principal,
04:09it's important that you learn all the names of our faculty.
04:11That's what I want to find out.
04:12Well, it's very simple.
04:13We have Mr. Present, Mr. Absent, Mr. Here, Mr. Yep, and Ms. Yo.
04:17Okay, and all of them are here?
04:18Well, no, only one of them is here.
04:20You don't see all of them?
04:21Of course I do.
04:21But you just said only one of them is here.
04:23What about this guy?
04:24No, no, no, he's not here.
04:25He's absent.
04:27Let's just take attendance, okay?
04:29Mr. Absent.
04:30Here.
04:30Mr. Here.
04:31Present.
04:31Mr. Yep.
04:32Yo.
04:32Ms. Yo.
04:33Yep.
04:33Mr. Present.
04:34Mr. Present.
04:35So present is absent.
04:37Wait, present is absent?
04:38That's right.
04:39I thought you said he was absent.
04:40He is.
04:41But he's present.
04:42No, he's not present.
04:42Present is absent.
04:43Wait, so who's present and who's absent?
04:45He's absent and present is absent.
04:47So he is present.
04:48No, he's absent.
04:49So he's here, but present is absent and absent is present?
04:52Now that's the first thing you've said right.
04:54I don't even know what I said!
04:58Oh, there you are.
05:00What are you wearing?
05:01Well, my other costumes didn't work, so now I'm dead, Travis Kelsey.
05:05See, depending on how it all plays out, I'm either sadly haunted by the loss of Taylor
05:10or in eternal bliss because I died in that sweet, sweet saddle.
05:15Well, I'm sure the kids will know what that means while you hand out candy.
05:19Hand out candy?
05:20Mom!
05:21I'll be out trick-or-treating.
05:23Chris, you are too old to go trick-or-treating.
05:25You're in high school, for God's sake.
05:27But, Mom, Halloween is the most magical night of the year.
05:32And you'll still be part of the magic by taking on the dreary and thankless responsibilities
05:37that grown-ups do every year.
05:39Peter, back me up on this.
05:41Do what your mother says, Chris, or trust me.
05:42Next thing you know, she'll be counting your beers at a wedding.
05:45Peter, I am done talking about what happened at my cousin Pammy's wedding.
05:48I didn't say I was gonna bang that bridesmaid.
05:51I just said that I would.
05:52There's a difference, Lois.
05:54There's a difference.
05:55Mom, this stinks.
05:57I've been looking forward to trick-or-treating all year.
06:00Well, I'm sorry, Chris, but that's life.
06:03Things don't always work out the way you hoped they would.
06:08Amazon, you will transport gifts and treasures all around the world.
06:15Waterford, you will be packed with elegant crystal pieces.
06:22Colaguard, an aging boomer will crap in you,
06:25then mail you off to see if he has a rotten ass.
06:30No!
06:37Chris!
06:41Dad?
06:42What's going on?
06:43Shh.
06:43You and I are going trick-or-treating.
06:45But Mom said...
06:47I'm not afraid of your mom, Chris.
06:48That's why we're out here in the dark driveway whispering.
06:51Yay!
06:52I'm gonna hang out with Dad!
06:54This is my year of saying yes, Chris.
06:56Side note, do you see me as a Jeep guy?
06:58Well, that depends.
07:00What music streaming service will you be listening to while driving?
07:03None.
07:04I will be dangerously thumbing through a sleeve full of Jack Johnson CDs while I drive.
07:08Dad?
07:10Buy the Jeep.
07:11Chris?
07:12I already did.
07:14Jeep!
07:14Tariffs have forced us back into the conversation!
07:17Dad, I can't believe I'm in a bar.
07:27Are you sure we shouldn't tell Mom?
07:28Now, there's a lot of things your mother doesn't need to know about, Chris.
07:31Us trick-or-treating, that restraining order from Sidney Sweeney, my addiction to Afrin.
07:38Wow, this is all so new to me.
07:40That's a big night, son.
07:41Lying to the most important woman in your life to serve your own selfish needs?
07:45You're becoming a man, just like your dad.
07:49Oh, cool.
07:50You guys are doing Sister Act.
07:51No, we're doing the town.
07:53We just couldn't find any toy guns or old lady masks.
07:55Ooh.
07:56I love Sister Act.
07:58We're the town.
07:58Maybe we should pivot.
07:59No pivots!
08:00Peter, Sister Act made $231 million against a $30 million budget, and those are $1992.
08:08It's nothing to be ashamed of.
08:09Fine, we'll do Sister Act, but I'm Whoopi.
08:12Oh, that's some bull crud.
08:13Hey, Dad, what if Mom sees us out trick-or-treating tonight?
08:17Oh, we're not trick-or-treating in Quahog, Chris.
08:19She'll never know.
08:20And we got our story straight, right?
08:22We all told our wives we're going to the game?
08:24Yep, the game.
08:25Going to the game.
08:26Yep, and I told everyone who needed to know.
08:28Alexa, I'm going to the game with the guys later.
08:30I heard you're going to be gay with the guys later.
08:33What?
08:34No, no, no, no.
08:35We're now playing It's Raining Men by the Weather Girls.
08:38It's raining men!
08:40Hallelujah!
08:41Okay.
08:45All right, Brian, we're a team, and this is our sanctuary.
08:49Wide open.
08:49Let's make some magic.
08:50No bad ideas in here.
08:52Cool.
08:52So I thought we could start with words that rhyme with Halloween.
08:56No, bad idea.
08:57Very bad.
08:58Oof.
08:58But let's keep at it.
08:59And as we do, Brian, I just want to say that Andrew Ridgely was a very important part of Wham.
09:04So before you start beating up on yourself, remember that.
09:07Okay, well, how do you know you're not Andrew Ridgely?
09:09That unimportant blow-dried Klingon, not a chance.
09:13Now, I was thinking, how about a Halloween rap song?
09:16Ah, yeah, I guess kids still like rap.
09:19Oh, indeed.
09:20Now, the first rule of writing a rap song is to say who you are and then what you are here to do.
09:25My name is Stewie, and I'm here to say, everybody have a happy Halloween day.
09:31Huh?
09:31Uh, well, honestly, I don't think anyone really says Halloween day.
09:35Well, they might after they hear it in our new song.
09:38Oh, and Brian, fans are already speculating as to whether or not you and I are a couple,
09:42so I suggest we do a press release to get out ahead of all the rumors.
09:45Stewie, we don't have any fans.
09:46We haven't even written a song yet.
09:48And yet the rumors persist?
09:50Well, I suppose it's our own fault for not getting separate rooms at the Golden Door Spa.
09:53Although, for obvious reasons, I do consider that our anniversary.
09:57Okay, whatever.
09:58What if we did like, we didn't start the fire, but just naming Halloween candies?
10:04Snickers, Milky Way, Almond Joy and Toffee Fae.
10:07Ooh, good start, but...
10:09Oh, how are we going to rhyme Trouble in the Suez?
10:12Bubblicious Blue Pez?
10:15You know what?
10:15We're elevating that to a maybe.
10:17You having fun trick-or-treating, Chris?
10:26Yeah, and I love the way homeowners resent me as soon as they see how old I am.
10:31You know, it's really great being able to spend this time with you, son.
10:34Because one day, we're all going to have sex robots built to our own specifications and never leave our rooms.
10:40Really?
10:41And how far off would this be?
10:43Not far off at all, Chris.
10:44We already have the technology, now we just need the will and the gradual lowering of human morals.
10:49In fact, this could be the last Halloween ever.
10:52So, is this the last time I'm ever going to see you?
10:55No, I mean, we can hang out when the robots are in the shop getting their tune-ups.
10:59And they will need tune-ups.
11:00Those things are going to get wrecked.
11:02But won't we have backup sex robots?
11:04Oh, yeah, I suppose you're right.
11:06Yeah, I guess this is goodbye, son.
11:07BBC America presents a damp English detective series like none before, Drizzleton.
11:17Boy, it's really almost coming down today.
11:20In a town ravaged by murder and drizzle.
11:22Her socks are only half soggy.
11:25The killer can't be far.
11:26Starring an actor who was a Doctor Who, maybe.
11:29I want their boots bagged and sent back to the lab in London, where we have proper rain.
11:33Begging your pardon, Inspector, the last thing we need is a heavy dropper like you meddling in this investigation.
11:38Drizzleton, don't!
11:39Wait, I'm Drizzleton?
11:41I thought it was the town.
11:42Drizzleton, a mystery that can't be missed.
11:47Trick or treat!
11:49Oh, another Squid Game costume.
11:52I guess nobody cares what their kids are watching anymore.
11:55Lois, how's your candy holding up?
11:57Well, better than me.
11:59I don't have any help over here tonight.
12:01Chris was upset that he couldn't go trick-or-treating, so Peter took him to the game.
12:05Huh, that's funny.
12:06Joe told me he was going to the game.
12:08Cleveland told me the same thing.
12:10So, wait, wait, wait, wait.
12:12They were all together?
12:13What big game is being played tonight?
12:16I don't know.
12:17I thought the game was a movie.
12:18I thought it was a rapper.
12:20Wait a minute.
12:21So, they all went to a game, but none of us really knows what it is?
12:26I can't believe Peter.
12:28He's a bigger liar than American Idol.
12:31Congratulations!
12:32You've won American Idol.
12:33You're going to be a huge star, just like Lane Hardy,
12:36Maddie Pope, Trent Harmon,
12:38Just Sam, Noah Thompson,
12:40Caleb Johnson, Candace Glover,
12:42and Nick Fradiani.
12:44Are those real names?
12:45I don't know.
12:46Ah, there he is.
12:52Or as I would say in auto-tune,
12:55There he is.
12:56Stewie, how much have you spent on this venture?
12:58Can't put a price on perfection, Bri.
13:00But if you could, it would be $9,418.
13:03But don't worry, I've got it under control.
13:05Okay.
13:06So, who's that?
13:10Oh, that's Satsuki.
13:11I need her to be here, but I assure you it will not impact our process in any way.
13:16Huh.
13:17So, anyway, I had an idea to do some lyrics about candy corn.
13:21Yeah, it's going to be a no on that one.
13:23Who is this again?
13:24Brian, you should worry a little less about her and more about your input.
13:28I mean, I have put a lot into this studio.
13:30I even bought cases of LaCroix's for us to take one sip out of and then leave around the room.
13:35Um, is that one mine?
13:36I don't know.
13:36Ah, well, I'll just open another one.
13:39Try to work out a baseline, Bri.
13:41Me and Satsuki are going to get our pubic hairs tangled for a photo shoot.
13:44Stewie, I'm not entirely sure I know what's going on here anymore.
13:47Yeah, because I'm doing all the work.
13:49You know, I don't need this, Brian.
13:50I could go right back to the Brill Building and keep writing jingles for Palm Olive and Ralston Purina,
13:55commuting in from New Rochelle and pulling down 20 Gs a year.
13:58Okay, you know what?
13:59I'm done.
13:59I really thought you and I could have some fun doing this, Stewie,
14:01but now the whole thing has just turned into a nightmare.
14:04Wait, say that again.
14:05What?
14:06Nightmare?
14:06Yes, that gives me a great idea for our song.
14:09All right, I think we've earned today's heroine.
14:11Wait, what?
14:13Brian, I want you to make love to us.
14:23Geez, this guy's blinding me with his high beams.
14:26Don't flash your lights, Peter.
14:28Sometimes those guys are gang members who kill the first guy to flash back.
14:31That's just an urban myth, Cleveland.
14:33Idiot's probably on his phone.
14:34God, Dad, this is bad.
14:58I can't get any signal.
15:00We need to call for help.
15:00Well, maybe those guys with the chainsaws have a better phone.
15:03Ah-ha, fellas.
15:07C-c-c-conda late to be doing yard work, isn't it?
15:10You are going to die.
15:17Did you prime it?
15:18It-it doesn't need to be primed.
15:20Yeah, you should prime it and open the choke.
15:22The choke's open.
15:23Okay, then close the choke.
15:24Is the chain break activated?
15:26It's got to be activated or it won't start.
15:27It's a safety thing.
15:29Yeah, there you go.
15:30Now we're going to die.
15:40Guys, someone needs to puncture my poop bag.
15:42It's full.
15:43It's only slowing me down.
15:45Keep going.
15:45I see a cottage.
15:49Oh, no.
15:50We got to go back to the car.
15:51What?
15:52What for?
15:52Our bags.
15:53They might have candy at that house.
15:56Okay, fine.
15:56We'll just do pockets.
15:57Dad, I'm scared.
15:58This is terrible.
16:00I know, Chris.
16:01And it's certainly not the way I thought I was going to die.
16:04Here you are, sir.
16:05And remember, if you eat the entire 96-ounce steak, it's free.
16:09Well, I'm starting to regret that second French onion soup, but let's do this.
16:20Good evening, ma'am.
16:21Trick or treat, and we're about to be murdered.
16:23Could we please use your phone?
16:24Ah, ah, yeah.
16:30She wants me to do the truffle shuffle.
16:32I swear to God, everywhere I go, this happens.
16:37Oh, she's offering us some hot chocolate.
16:39You know, that'll really hit the spot on a cool autumn evening.
16:43Yeah, I don't know.
16:43This is weird.
16:44What we really need is a phone.
16:45Ooh, mini marshmallows.
16:47Ah, that was delicious.
16:51And as long as I don't start seeing two of you slightly out of focus, we should be okay.
16:57How did you like it, blurry Chris one and two?
17:00What's going on?
17:12Oh, oh, God.
17:13Did I snore?
17:15You are going to die.
17:18Okay, fine.
17:19But just one thing.
17:20If you cut off my skin to make a suit, please don't use it for gay purposes or hold it up like Jared's pants from a subway ad.
17:27Kind of a weird request?
17:28Well, it's happened once before.
17:30But I brought this on all of us.
17:32I lied to my wife.
17:33And even worse, I taught my son to do the same.
17:39I lied to my wife, too.
17:41So did I.
17:42Oh, I feel so bad.
17:44I lied to my Alexa.
17:45And for what?
17:46Candy?
17:47What the hell is wrong with me?
17:48I was stupid and wrong, and I'm so sorry.
17:56You're sorry?
17:58Well.
18:00That's all I wanted to hear.
18:02Lois?
18:03Mom?
18:06Oh, Donna.
18:07You're just in time to come with me to the game.
18:10Shut your mouth, Cleveland.
18:11It's shut.
18:12Lois, you scared the crap out of me.
18:13How did you find us?
18:15It was easy.
18:15We just used the Find My Phone app on your phones.
18:19Ah, very clever.
18:20Smart women.
18:21Yeah, I'm not sure any of you had the right to threaten to kill me.
18:24Lois, you were right.
18:26Halloween is just for kids.
18:28I will never sneak out to celebrate it again.
18:31Are you kidding me?
18:32This is the most fun I've had in years.
18:34Halloween is great.
18:36Isn't that right, ladies?
18:42Lois, maybe I'm not the worst husband in the world after all.
18:45Oh, Peter, I promise I will never again lose my Halloween spirit.
18:49Come on, everyone.
18:51Should all the quaintance be forgot and never...
18:56That's not a Halloween song.
18:57I know.
18:58Too bad there really isn't a good Halloween song we could all sing.
19:01Oh, yes, there is.
19:06Hit it, Brian.
19:10It's Halloween as we prepare.
19:13A nightmare that's beyond compare.
19:15As freaks and goblins creepily advance.
19:20There's really only one sure way to keep those ghosts and ghouls at bay.
19:27It's Stewie's spooky cohort nightmare dump.
19:31Stick out your arms like Frankenstein
19:33and swing your booty just like mine
19:35or like Shakira in her sexy pants.
19:39Let your head bob up and down
19:41like that weird kid from Charlie Brown
19:44and twist your body like you're in a trance.
19:47And when those spirits start to rise,
19:50you'll quickly cut them down to size
19:52with Stewie's spooky cohort nightmare dump.
19:56Lois is a rotting corpse fresh from the bowels of hell.
19:59Peter is a toxic zombie with a noxious smell.
20:04Chris has mutant creatures bursting from each arm and leg.
20:10And Meg...
20:12Well, oh my God, we've done it now.
20:14Meg really is a witch somehow.
20:16Her face is scowling just like Steve Van Zandt's.
20:19She's really on a tear up there,
20:22but we're all fine and safe down here
20:24with Stewie's spooky.
20:26Kinda crazy, kinda kooky.
20:29Stewie's spooky.
20:31Go home nightmare dumps.
20:38I hear they're a couple.
20:39Saw some pretty racy pictures in Us Magazine.
20:42I don't care about anything you say.
20:50What a great Halloween, Mom.
20:52Let me help you take down the decorations.
20:54Oh, thanks, Chris.
20:56Yeah, I really hate to do it,
20:57but the whole street is already decorating for Christmas.
21:00Hi, neighbors.
21:01Season's greetings.
21:03Ho, ho, ho.
21:04Ho, ho, ho.
21:05Ho, ho.
21:05Ho, ho.
21:06Ho, ho.
21:06Ho, ho, ho.
21:08Ho, ho, ho.
21:09Ho, ho, ho, ho.
21:10Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
21:11Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
21:12Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
21:42Ho, ho, ho.
21:43Ho, ho, ho, ho.
21:44Ho, ho, ho.
21:45Ho, ho, ho.
21:46Ho, ho, ho.
21:47Ho, ho, ho.
21:48Ho, ho, ho.
21:49Ho, ho, ho.
21:50Ho, ho, ho.
21:51Ho, ho, ho.
21:52Ho, ho, ho.
21:53Ho, ho, ho.
21:54Ho, ho, ho.
21:55Ho, ho, ho.
21:56Ho, ho, ho.
21:57Ho, ho, ho.
21:58Ho, ho, ho.
21:59Ho, ho, ho.
22:00Ho, ho, ho.
22:01Ho, ho, ho.
22:02Ho, ho, ho.
22:03Ho, ho, ho.
22:04Ho, ho, ho.
22:05Ho, ho.
22:06Ho, ho, ho.
22:07Ho, ho, ho.
22:08Ho, ho.
22:09Ho, ho, ho.
Be the first to comment