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Taskmaster S20 E10 The Final

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😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00Oh, no!
00:05Hello?
00:13Hey!
00:18Nothing's ever straightforward in this stupid house.
00:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:33Hello!
00:34And welcome to the Taskmaster Grand Final!
00:43Now, there are some that say I'm struggling to write introductions
00:46after 20 series, and to those people, I say this...
00:49I've got a brain for business and a body for sin.
00:52I give out the points to decide who will win.
00:54I'm the Taskmaster, this show's magistrate.
00:56I'm inconsistent because of my swollen prostate.
01:00LAUGHTER
01:03Who dared to enter my realm of tasks?
01:05Three northerners, a Gen Z and the Sanjeev of Basques.
01:08I'll give them all names, I'll give them all hope.
01:10But my allegiance, as ever, remains with the Pope.
01:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:16So, for the last time, please welcome our five would-be champions.
01:21Anya Magliano!
01:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:25Maisie Adelaide!
01:27Phil Ellis!
01:29Reece Sheer-Smith!
01:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:32And Sanjeev Bhaskar!
01:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:36And next to me, a man who recently confided in me in private
01:40that he likes women who fart.
01:44zeros!
01:46EEEEEN
01:49IT'S LITTLE ALEXIHA мног
01:52APPLAUSE
01:54You know it so well, Greg, don't we?
01:56You do.
01:57Let's find out how well you know me, Greg, with a little quiz.
01:59Do you want a little quiz?
02:00Oh, is this your chat section? Shut your eyes.
02:02All right.
02:03What colour is my hair, Greg?
02:05It's all pepper pot ginger.
02:06Correct. What colour are my teeth, Greg?
02:09They're sort of an off-white, apart from one which is black
02:12and folded in on itself.
02:14Correct. And what colour are my eyes, Greg?
02:19Mmm...blue?
02:21No.
02:23They're...they're brown.
02:25You can have a look if you want.
02:27Oh, God!
02:32You've painted brown eyes on your lids, that's it?
02:34And that's the springboard for the grand final?
02:37It's the grand final!
02:41OK, what's the prize test category that we've saved for the final?
02:45Well, the only one it could be, Greg,
02:47it has grand final written all over it,
02:49as each of them has brought in their very best tube.
02:54LAUGHTER
02:56Five important grand final points for the best tube
02:59and five actual tubes for the episode winner.
03:01Shut up, Alex. Here we go.
03:03All right, then.
03:05Phil.
03:07Hi.
03:08Before we go any further, I would like to say,
03:11you shouldn't grow your hair long.
03:14LAUGHTER
03:16Because there's some glamorous pirates in this row,
03:18but you look like a man who'd try and sell me meat out of a bag.
03:21LAUGHTER
03:23What tube have you brought in?
03:24Is it a good tube?
03:25Er, it's a good old tube of lube.
03:28Erm...
03:29Oh, my God!
03:30I found it in the park.
03:32LAUGHTER
03:34I told you that's where we left it.
03:36LAUGHTER
03:37Yeah.
03:38This is why it's the best tube,
03:39because you know what kind of situation you're in with lube.
03:44If you're using it to get in something, it's a good day.
03:48If...
03:49LAUGHTER
03:51If you're using it to get out of something,
03:54it's a bad day.
03:55LAUGHTER
03:56I think I've got everything I need to know.
03:58Yep.
03:59Macy.
04:00Erm, I've brought my favourite tube of pasta.
04:02If you've just brought a tube of pasta in,
04:04then, against all odds, Phil's not getting one more.
04:06No, no, no.
04:09I've made a tube...
04:11But, like, I've made it into a tube.
04:13Let's have a look.
04:14As in the tube.
04:15With little pasta wheels.
04:17LAUGHTER
04:19That's good, isn't it?
04:21I know what you're thinking, you're going,
04:23Macy, it still looks just a bit like pasta,
04:25which is why I've painted it to look like the tube!
04:28Here we go.
04:29CHEERING
04:31It's good, it's good.
04:34Nothing sarcastic to say.
04:36I like the tube of the tube.
04:37Rhys.
04:38So, I brought in a test tube
04:41with the umbilical cord of a werewolf.
04:44Here it is.
04:45LAUGHTER
04:48You bought that?
04:49Yep.
04:50From somebody who told you
04:51it was the umbilical cord of a werewolf?
04:53Yep.
04:54Yeah.
04:55I knew it wasn't,
04:57but it was a display made lovingly
05:00by someone that crafts this sort of thing.
05:02I thought some bloke up north had licked a twig
05:04and put it in a test tube.
05:05LAUGHTER
05:06Licked it at you for 500 quid!
05:08Yeah.
05:09I've still got my umbilical cord.
05:11Shut up.
05:12LAUGHTER
05:13It's still...
05:14It's still attached.
05:15I've still...
05:16Are you...
05:17LAUGHTER
05:19I quite often feed myself through it.
05:21You don't need to use a mouth.
05:23Yeah.
05:24Anya, hello.
05:25I've brought in also a test tube,
05:27but I've brought in a test tube that's filled with DNA.
05:31It's DNA that I've harvested myself.
05:33Alex, perhaps you could show the photo of me.
05:35Yes, this is Anya harvesting DNA.
05:38Oh!
05:39You've found a little hair, haven't you, Anya?
05:40Yeah, I don't know if you recognise that jacket, Greg.
05:43LAUGHTER
05:44Oh, no.
05:46LAUGHTER
05:47I thought it would be good to finally get some closure
05:49on everything that's been going on.
05:51Um, so I sent off your DNA alongside some of my DNA
05:55to the lab.
05:56Yeah.
05:57And we just got some very interesting results.
05:58Here are the DNA results.
06:00The child there, Anya Magliano.
06:02If we zoom in, we can see what they think.
06:04LAUGHTER
06:06That's hard. That is hard.
06:08Hello, Daddy!
06:09LAUGHTER
06:11Well, that's, er, genuinely unsettling.
06:13Yeah.
06:14Congratulations.
06:16We'll talk about Christmas later.
06:18LAUGHTER
06:19Sanjeev.
06:20OK, well, this is my best tube.
06:22This is a tube that contains stories, history,
06:26but also warnings, danger.
06:29It's extraordinary.
06:30Er, it is a tube, er, like, er, and it's of my DNA.
06:34Yeah.
06:35Here we are.
06:36I know what it is, I guess, as soon as you start talking.
06:38For the third time in the series.
06:40Yes, it's the tube of...
06:41There it is!
06:42LAUGHTER
06:44Once again.
06:45Why is this piss better than your previous pisses?
06:47LAUGHTER
06:50It's fresher.
06:51LAUGHTER
06:52OK.
06:53OK.
06:54Tell me some points, Greg.
06:55I'm very fond of Phil, but the idea that he's last minute
06:59grabbed a tube-a-loop.
07:00Half a tube-a-loop.
07:01I can't give him more than one.
07:03I'm sort of disgusted by the werewolf, but I like the story behind it.
07:08I'm used to Sanjeev's urine now,
07:10and some of the novelty's worn off a little bit,
07:12but I'm going to give them three points,
07:14both the werewolf umbilical cord and Sanjeev's urine.
07:17Wow.
07:18Now, I think this will, erm, reflect very badly on me.
07:22Please put a tube of pasta above your daughter.
07:24LAUGHTER
07:25Greg, you've done that for 27 years.
07:29LAUGHTER
07:30I don't know why.
07:31I am going to give...
07:32LAUGHTER
07:34I'm going to give my daughter four points.
07:36OK.
07:37And I'm going to give a woman who's made a tube out of pasta.
07:40Five.
07:41Well done, Maisie Adam.
07:42Five points.
07:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
07:46All right, let's get going. Let's get to the task left.
07:49Well, what better way to begin
07:51than with the final team task of the series
07:54and a good old cup of tea or two.
07:56Or 14.
08:09Hi.
08:10Hello.
08:11Hi.
08:12Hey.
08:13Fancy meeting you here.
08:14Hello.
08:15What are you doing?
08:16Hi, Rhys.
08:17What do you want?
08:18Hi, Maisie.
08:19I want one of you to turn left into the living room
08:20and one of you right into the kitchen.
08:22Bothered?
08:24I'll go in here.
08:25I like a kitchen.
08:27You don't have to.
08:28That's the wrong answer in this day and age.
08:30Oh, yes, yeah.
08:31Do you want to swap it?
08:32Do you want it just so you don't get an article about you?
08:34Yeah, yeah. Fair enough.
08:35Yeah, well, I don't know.
08:36Does anyone feel comfortable being on their own?
08:38I've spent my life on my own.
08:40I'm happy with that.
08:41LAUGHTER
08:45All right, good luck.
08:46Good luck.
08:52Cups.
08:53Tea?
08:54Tea cups?
08:55Mm-hmm.
08:56Oh, no.
08:57I think I've got more responsibility in this.
08:59I'm so nervous about letting Rhys down.
09:02OK.
09:03Make exactly the same-looking drinks as your team-mate's drinks.
09:08Your team-mate must make exactly the same-looking drinks
09:11as your drinks.
09:12Your entire team may only open two doors.
09:16May only open two doors.
09:18What does that mean?
09:20Most similar-looking drinks wins.
09:23You have 15 minutes.
09:24Your time starts now.
09:25Your time starts now.
09:26Your time starts now.
09:27Wish I hadn't gone on my own, then.
09:30Terrible decision.
09:31APPLAUSE
09:33I'm really afraid of letting me down.
09:39Often, Maisie's very worried about keeping you happy.
09:42It's quite frightened of me.
09:44Because you're fucking terrified!
09:46LAUGHTER
09:47Let's get going.
09:48Let's start with a team of two.
09:50They've been a true power couple so far.
09:53Let's see how they got on in their final team task.
09:59Maisie?
10:00Hello.
10:01So, have you got the same task as me?
10:03It's about making the same drink.
10:04Yeah.
10:05Have you got seven drinks in front of you?
10:08Yes, I have.
10:09Of different colours?
10:10No.
10:11Oh.
10:12Right, OK, so you've got the drinks probably,
10:15and I have to make the drinks to make them like your drinks.
10:18Yes.
10:19OK, so start with the first drink on the left.
10:22Like a cranberry juice.
10:23OK, so I'm going to look in the fridge for some cranberry juice.
10:27I'm opening it.
10:28Yeah.
10:29You've opened one door.
10:30Right, look for any of these things, Rhys.
10:33Yeah.
10:34Cranberry juice, tomato soup, anything that's like a bright green...
10:38None of those things you've said so far are in this fridge.
10:41Then it's a cup of coffee, but it's frothy,
10:43so I think that's like a latte with milk.
10:45Where am I going to get that from out of a cupboard?
10:47Well, I don't know.
10:48Just skip that one.
10:49I'm a bit worried about leaving the fridge door open so long,
10:52things will start going off.
10:53Oh, I've set him off now.
10:55You've got, like, teriyaki sauce.
10:58Would that be like a brown drink?
11:00Yeah, that could be the last one.
11:01Bob that in number seven.
11:02OK, I'm doing it now.
11:03Keep the doors open.
11:04Yeah.
11:05Yeah.
11:06Yeah, it's teriyaki.
11:07I've just smelt it.
11:08Oh, well, good.
11:09Well, I'm done.
11:10So, I've got tomato ketchup.
11:11Yes, take that out.
11:12Oh, look, here we are.
11:15Can you hear me?
11:16Yes!
11:17Yes, I can hear you.
11:18Hello, Rhys.
11:19Can't hear you.
11:20Maisie talking.
11:22Erm, what?
11:23Maisie talking!
11:24Oh!
11:25Right, there you are, I've got you.
11:26Right, I reckon go to a cupboard.
11:28Oh, God.
11:29And we're looking for cranberry sauce, tomato soup.
11:32Right.
11:33But the problem is, though, Maisie, there's about three cupboards
11:35and I don't know which one to pick.
11:36It's literally a guessing game.
11:38I'm just going to open one that looks like it's got things in it.
11:40I'm opening it now.
11:41This could be the end of the game.
11:43It's the end of the game.
11:47What's in there?
11:48I've opened the wrong one, Maisie,
11:49and there's nothing in it apart from plates.
11:51So, now what we've got is some teriyaki sauce,
11:53tomato sauce and some milk.
11:54Is there anything that looks like tomato sauce?
11:57I'm going to start with that.
11:58Right, number two, go...
12:0050% tomato sauce.
12:03Mix it with a load of water from the sink.
12:05And then I reckon, number one,
12:07put a tiny bit of ketchup in,
12:09and then the rest, water.
12:10Because it's sort of a clearish red.
12:13Oh!
12:14Number five is a cup of tea.
12:15Right, I'll try and do a tea.
12:17What are you making your tea with, Rhys?
12:19Very acute for milk.
12:20It's going to look like tea.
12:21What's number three?
12:24Tea that has just had the bag in, but nothing else.
12:28Can you do that?
12:30Ah!
12:31Right, you've found the tea with you now.
12:33I can do that.
12:34There was tea all along.
12:39It's an absolute one.
12:40It's like a salty coffee.
12:41Maybe just spit in it.
12:43I think my spit are bubbly.
12:45You've got one minute left.
12:46OK, right, so number four,
12:48I'll neck the green,
12:49and then it's just both empty cups, isn't it?
12:52Do that.
12:53That's brilliant.
12:56I thought we did.
12:59That's your timer.
13:02Are you all right, Maisie?
13:03Yeah.
13:04I think it was cucumber.
13:06And you know what?
13:07Have we done OK?
13:08Have we?
13:09That's not bad, actually.
13:10Oh, Rhys, we've smashed it!
13:12I think that's good!
13:13That's banging!
13:14So which cupboard did you open?
13:15Oh.
13:16Is this one?
13:17Imagine that this point...
13:18But you can see through here!
13:19Well, this is what I thought.
13:20It was a trick.
13:22Thank you, team.
13:23I do feel a bit queasy.
13:25I bet you do.
13:33See?
13:34She's no doormat, really, is she?
13:35No, not at all.
13:36Although we did have yet another...
13:38Oh, I've set him off now.
13:39It's like some abusive, like, terrible ogre.
13:43You are, though.
13:44It is funny.
13:45Like, you open the fridge, which Maisie can't see,
13:48and you went,
13:49Oh, none of the things you've said are in this fridge!
13:53Like, it's her fault!
13:55It's frustration.
13:56It comes out in different ways.
13:58Yeah.
13:59I mean, they were pretty good, though.
14:00Yeah.
14:01As far as I could see.
14:02Considering they opened the fridge and are covered for the plate.
14:05LAUGHTER
14:06That's a hell of a start to this task.
14:08We're off for a break now,
14:09so that means you are too.
14:10We'll see you in a minute.
14:11APPLAUSE
14:12Welcome back to Taskmaster.
14:25It's the final and we're in the middle of a final team task.
14:28Whoa!
14:29You've got to be kidding me!
14:30Yes, the...
14:32The task is to make exactly the same-looking drinks in the kitchen
14:36as the drinks in the living room.
14:37The entire team may only open two doors.
14:40Most similar-looking drinks wins.
14:42Now, for the final time, it's Anya, Phil and Sanjeev.
14:46Phil?
14:47Bear with me.
14:49The first one has no flavour.
14:52But it's warm.
14:53It's about the same heat as urine.
14:55Fresh.
14:57And wait a minute.
14:59I could just open this door, couldn't I?
15:01I think one of our doors might have to be the fridge door.
15:04Oh, that's clever.
15:06I was...
15:07Yeah, I'm really glad I didn't just open the cupboard behind me now.
15:10Yeah, don't do anything.
15:13Oh, dear.
15:15I'm scared.
15:16I don't like leaving him unattended.
15:20Oh, wait a minute.
15:21Why don't you just bring them here,
15:23and I'll just pour mine into yours?
15:25What, if we pour exactly half?
15:27Yeah, we can do that.
15:28That's easy, then, isn't it?
15:30Ha-ha!
15:31Suckers!
15:32It looks like he's having some trouble.
15:42One door open.
15:43We're opening our second door.
15:44Yeah.
15:45You may open no more doors.
15:47How much time have we got left, Alex?
15:48Seven minutes.
15:49Seven minutes.
15:50Ooh!
15:51Well...
15:52What about that?
15:53Oh, yeah, that's good.
15:54Oh, good.
15:55Well, let's see how much is in each one with that.
15:57You've got a little bit of dribble on your rim there.
15:59You want to be predominant.
16:00On the urine.
16:01See what I mean?
16:02It's the same warmth, isn't it?
16:03Oh, it is, actually.
16:04It's like when you give a medical sample.
16:05Yeah, yeah.
16:06I got a text the other day asking for a store sample.
16:09And, er...
16:10No, just stop there.
16:11It's just a good text.
16:12We'll leave it at that.
16:13That's really good.
16:14What we've done is amazing.
16:15There's a minute left, but you can leave at any point.
16:18OK.
16:19Are you just doing the washing up now?
16:20Oh, yeah.
16:21That's nice.
16:22Ten seconds left.
16:23Task is over.
16:24Excellent.
16:25Thank you, team.
16:27Thank you, everyone.
16:28Go team!
16:29APPLAUSE
16:31Before the beat he started, I wrote down, not to be negative,
16:34but I predict Phil will be shit at this.
16:36LAUGHTER
16:38And then, within seconds, I just said,
16:41I don't like leaving him unattended.
16:44I don't.
16:46But he had a brilliant idea.
16:48Yeah.
16:49Just whip across, pour the name.
16:52Yeah.
16:53It was just a work of genius.
16:55Are you sure that was me?
16:56It was you.
16:57I think so.
16:58It was coming as well.
16:59I didn't see that as a possible solution.
17:00Very frustrating.
17:01And by the end of the task, it was just a lovely family dynamic.
17:04Yeah.
17:05Dad did the washing up while the two kids talked about wee and poo.
17:09LAUGHTER
17:10I really feel like you're the father who left me
17:12and Sanjeev is the father who raised me.
17:14LAUGHTER
17:19Really good.
17:20Both teams were great, but obviously the team of three...
17:23Yeah.
17:24...knocked it out of the park.
17:25Although, I would say nearly all of them were fantastic.
17:28Oh, fair...
17:29Oh.
17:30Fuck.
17:31What?
17:32Well, I couldn't help but notice...
17:34Oh, don't do this.
17:35This.
17:36What?
17:37Um...
17:38Straw, straw.
17:40There must be a straw here.
17:41Oh!
17:42Suddenly this daddy's looking a bit more attractive, isn't he?
17:56LAUGHTER
17:57Oh, my God!
17:58Was it just me?
17:59Oh, just you, yeah.
18:00No-one else opened a door, Sanjeev.
18:01Oh, nice.
18:02Yeah.
18:03I told you to watch him.
18:04You know he doesn't know what's going on half the time.
18:06LAUGHTER
18:07So, what happens now?
18:08He's disqualified, I'm afraid.
18:10All of us?
18:12Team of three, yeah.
18:13Oh, my...
18:14Yes, Rhys!
18:15Yes.
18:16It's a tragedy, yeah, and it's really unfortunate.
18:19But accidents happen, and that's the nature of the team task.
18:22Sanjeev doesn't look that bothered.
18:24LAUGHTER
18:26Couldn't give a shit.
18:28LAUGHTER
18:30You're not an OBE.
18:31Some of us need this.
18:33LAUGHTER
18:34This is going to go on my gravestone.
18:36There you go.
18:37So, the scores are zero for the team of three and five for the team of two.
18:40I'm afraid so.
18:41Well done, Major.
18:42Well done, Rhys.
18:43Don't worry.
18:44Sorry.
18:45Can't we help the scoreboard, please?
18:47Yes, well, in terms of the series,
18:49there's only one point separating the top two players.
18:52Oh!
18:53And all five are still fairly close.
18:55It's exciting.
18:56Uh-oh.
18:57In this episode, Maisie's in the league with ten!
18:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
19:03Right.
19:04Next, it's time to make this final suck, in a good way.
19:09LAUGHTER
19:10Hello.
19:24Maisie.
19:25Great to see you.
19:26Nice to see you.
19:27We get on well, don't we?
19:28For legal reasons.
19:30LAUGHTER
19:31Ooh.
19:32Ooh.
19:33Why have an envelope with some wax on it?
19:36Run out.
19:37Right.
19:38Drink almost all the apple juice.
19:40You must not touch the cup, and the cup must not move.
19:44Fastest wins, your time starts now.
19:47Pythagoras, hands off.
19:49That's a clue.
19:50Now, if my geography serves me correctly, Pythagoras is a pretty cool island,
19:56very rich in iron ore.
19:59I think we're going to smash it.
20:01APPLAUSE
20:03Well, I mean, I won't pretend that I got it, but it's a clue, right?
20:11The mug is a clue.
20:12Mm, yes, the Pythagoras mug.
20:15First up, to slurp nearly all the apple juice,
20:18it's my favourite musical artists, Enya and Jay-Z.
20:22Here we go.
20:25Well, I don't think I should lick it up like a cat.
20:30I need a straw, essentially.
20:32I can move.
20:33Is there a straw anywhere?
20:35Oh.
20:37Underneath, there's a straw in there.
20:40There's a straw under there.
20:42I've not looked.
20:43Yeah.
20:44Yeah.
20:45Damn it.
20:51Fucking hell.
20:56I can't do it.
20:57I can't do it.
21:04Oh!
21:08Ah!
21:09I've got apple in me ear.
21:12Oh!
21:13Oh!
21:14It's really in there.
21:24It's gone.
21:25No, it's still there.
21:26I don't think you've drunk almost all of it yet.
21:28Oh, you want me to lick it out of the glitter tray?
21:30This is degrading now.
21:37Hang on, I can touch that though, can't I?
21:40Let's not touch the cup on the customer.
21:42Ah, yeah, fine.
21:44Oh.
21:45There we go.
21:46Yeah.
21:47It does feel like I'm drinking cat litter.
21:48Weird.
21:51Stop the clock.
21:55Bossed it.
21:57Bit in the ear, but no problem.
21:59Most of it in the mouth.
22:00Yeah.
22:03Oh, yeah.
22:04Listen to that.
22:10You know, not a lot of dignity there, but they seem fast.
22:13They didn't really use the Pythagoras clue.
22:15Well, look, it's a confusing task, there's no doubt about that.
22:18What that thing is, is a special Pythagoras cup.
22:21If you fill it over a certain level, it suddenly siphons down.
22:24If you suck from the bottom, it suddenly plunges forth.
22:27But you lapped it up like cats.
22:28I wonder if Phil's going to make this easy.
22:31OK, now, as advised by several professional people,
22:34we have put Phil all by himself.
22:35Here we go.
22:36Oh, God.
22:38Right, so that's not a cup.
22:39That is a cup.
22:41I think that's apple juice.
22:42OK.
22:43I haven't got any sense of smell.
22:44I got hit by a football when I was nine.
22:46What's this?
22:51Why is that there?
22:55That's nothing!
22:56That was a mislead!
22:58I don't think...
22:59I don't think I'm missing something.
23:01Can I leave the room?
23:02All the information's on the table.
23:03Fastest Wednesday time.
23:04Oh, I could have just left the room.
23:06OK.
23:07What are you going to get?
23:08Well, weirdly, I was thinking tissue,
23:09and then soak it up and squirt it in my mouth,
23:11but maybe just a straw.
23:13Well, look, the clock's ticking.
23:15Is there any straws?
23:16Why is there never anything you need?
23:22I'm certainly smashed this.
23:24I panicked.
23:25Don't know why I've got the funnel.
23:26What is that?
23:27This looks like it's used to give a cow a child.
23:31I've never seen it before.
23:35Oh.
23:36Almost all, that's almost.
23:37What do you have to do with him?
23:38Have you finished?
23:39Almost.
23:40I've stuck the clock.
23:41Well done, Phil.
23:42It's like watching a deleted scene from Oliver sometimes.
23:43Just this urchin looking round the posh house not understanding anything.
23:48I've had so many insights over the last few weeks into your childhood.
23:52You can't smell because you've got hit in the head by a football.
23:53Yeah.
23:54Can you not smell at all?
23:55No.
23:56OK.
23:57Although I smell five points a foot.
23:58Did he get it down him?
23:59The juice?
24:00Yes, he drank nearly all of it.
24:01The time so far.
24:02Ania, 1 minute 39.
24:03Maisie, 2 minutes 13.
24:04Phil, 14 minutes 55.
24:05OK.
24:06That's half way through this grand final.
24:07Be brave.
24:08The time so far.
24:09Ania, 1 minute 39.
24:10Maisie, 2 minutes 13.
24:11Phil, 14 minutes 55.
24:12OK.
24:13That's half way through this grand final.
24:15Be brave.
24:16That's half way through this grand final.
24:18Be brave.
24:19You can't smell because you've got hit in the head by a football.
24:22Yeah.
24:23Can you not smell at all?
24:24No.
24:25OK.
24:26I smell five points a foot.
24:27Did he get it down him?
24:28The juice?
24:29Yes, he drank nearly all of it.
24:30The first grand final.
24:31Be brave.
24:32Be strong.
24:33Be good.
24:34Hello.
24:35Oh, hello, everyone.
24:36Welcome to the third part of our final and a task involving the consumption of apple juice.
24:57Ooh, yeah.
24:58Big time, seriously.
24:59And we end with two Goliaths from the world of celebrity juice drinking Rhys and Sanjeev.
25:05OK.
25:06So, well, the theory of thy Pythagoras, I think, is something about displacement, isn't it?
25:12If I pour water into there, more diluted apple juice will pour out and I could start trying to drink it.
25:19OK.
25:20OK.
25:29What?
25:34Er...
25:36It's gone.
25:37Have you drunk almost all of it?
25:40Almost all, but there's a bit left.
25:41I've stopped the clock.
25:42I guess I didn't need to do the thing of leaning under it and supping from the fountain, did I?
25:52No.
25:53But I did.
25:54There you go.
25:55Is that almost all?
25:56It's almost all.
25:57Do you know what just happened?
25:58It's Benoui's theorem.
25:59It's about displacement.
26:00and water pressure.
26:01Yeah.
26:02Ah, which guy think Benoui is not being done?
26:04No.
26:05It's almost all.
26:06It's almost all.
26:08Do you know what just happened?
26:23It's Benoui's theorem.
26:25It's about displacement and water pressure.
26:28And water pressure, yeah.
26:29How are we spelling Benui?
26:30However you like. That's exactly how it sounds.
26:33Benui's Theorem.
26:35Erm, can I have a wee now?
26:36No, I need one too. Excellent.
26:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26:45Count countless television appearances.
26:48What a career, and now this.
26:51Doctor Displacement.
26:54That was textbooks.
26:55Sanjeev was completely correct.
26:57It is the Bernoulli principle.
26:59I'd never heard of it. He had.
27:01LAUGHTER
27:03You must be more excited about this victory than...
27:05No, I don't know if I've opened a bloody cupboard door yet.
27:08LAUGHTER
27:11I'll tell you now, you're safe.
27:12Have I? Yeah.
27:14I'm still feeling bad about the cupboard door for these guys.
27:17Rhys, again, knew about Displacement.
27:20Yeah. And then, as soon as the stream started, complete breakdown.
27:23LAUGHTER
27:25I just went straight mouth-to-stream and was...
27:28I really enjoyed it, though.
27:30Yeah.
27:31LAUGHTER
27:32The robot had malfunctioned.
27:34Exactly. I was just glad that I did think to drink it from the bowl.
27:37So good.
27:38Well, we know who's won.
27:39So, Phil, yes, one point. You were 15 minutes, almost.
27:42Maisie, two minutes, 13.
27:44Rhys, you were two minutes, 10.
27:45Just three seconds quicker than Maisie.
27:46Oh, Rhys.
27:48And here we know, one minute, 39.
27:49Sanjeev...
27:5145 seconds.
27:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
27:55And Doctor Displacement has struck.
27:58Aye!
27:59Aye!
28:02I can barely bring myself to ask, but please...
28:06Oh, may we have the last task?
28:08It's sad, but it's also exciting because...
28:10Let's pause and get ready.
28:11This one involves the word...
28:13Whence.
28:14Whence.
28:15Ooh.
28:16Ooh.
28:17You like that?
28:18Yeah.
28:19It's just floating there.
28:20Yes.
28:21LAUGHTER
28:22What?
28:23Oh, this is good.
28:24Make water squirt out of you in a surprising way.
28:28In 15 minutes, Alex will guess whence the water will squirt.
28:48Whence...
28:49Whence.
28:50Whence.
28:51Whence.
28:52I think I know what whence means, but I'm not sure.
28:55But I'm not sure for every incorrect guess you may squirt him for one second at the end of the task
29:04Longest time squirting Alex wins. That shouldn't even be a sentence time starts now
29:15Magic
29:17What's going on with you ever since you've got your new laptop, it's all it's so fast. It's all weird sexy stuff
29:28I've seen I've seen so much recently
29:31Let's see Alex using a show to get his kicks
29:36Yes, please. We're starting with Anya's pipes and Reese's pieces
29:47I can see pipes. I can see tubes. I'm going to make my first guess
29:54And the water is going to come out of the chest tube
29:58Wrong that's one second of squirting
30:03Enjoy chest tube
30:17Yeah, I'm all right. How are you doing good? Yeah, so I think the water is going to squirt out of the mouth tube
30:25Okay, race. Yeah, are you gonna squirt me from your nose?
30:32No
30:34After the elbow pipe you're gonna squirt me from your groin well, let's see shall we
30:40You know nothing coming you think I can watch a bit but no
30:49I'm going with right trouser leg tube, please
30:52Negative you can't help, but notice there is a hose going out of this and over there. Yes
30:57You know what? I'm gonna fall under a follow the hose. Okay. Yeah, the hose goes in there. It goes up it goes
31:07I'm not sure you can dismantle me
31:11Put that back in that might be part of something. Thank you. Right so the hose is a red herring
31:18Well, could be well it is I just pulled it out. This is good the table is upturned
31:24I'll give you all the information
31:28The time to start it
31:31I'm going around the back there's still some more on the front that you haven't seen even I'm I am going around the back
31:37Okay, okay
31:40Ah, yeah, hello
31:43Anya is the water gonna squirt out of the back of your head?
31:47Yes
31:48Well, it's gonna do that for eight seconds. Yeah, so well done you. Thank you. Is it gonna come out of your foot?
31:54Oh
31:57You've got it
31:59Yeah, thank you very much
32:01Thank you very much
32:02Thank you very much
32:07Another terrifying character. Yes
32:09To add
32:10Well, it was all about the ruses and the pipes that led to nothing
32:13Yeah, that was what you had to say
32:14And yet for the vast majority of it, I just couldn't take my eyes off the nose
32:19It's quite dominant wasn't it? Yeah. How many seconds of squirting did he gain himself?
32:24It took 14 guesses to find the tube and eight guesses of course with Anya after I asked permission to go around the back
32:31Yes
32:33Making something that wasn't creepy so creepy
32:37Who's next?
32:38It's now time for the cheesy guys Phil, Adelphia, Ellis and Maisie Edam
32:42Oh
32:50Hello
32:53I see
32:57Well, let's start with this guy
32:59What's that one? The little yellow thigh one
33:01Yellow thigh?
33:02Mm-hmm
33:03No
33:09Hi
33:10Hi Phil
33:11You all right? It's funny when you walk into a situation
33:14I like it
33:15Mmm, I don't
33:16Quite a lot of, uh, ends of hoses
33:19Well, you never know, do you?
33:21You never know with a hose
33:23It looks like that's where it goes, the hose
33:26The hose goes where my rosemary grows
33:30Is that where your rosemary grows?
33:31Yeah, it tastes rank
33:33Head tube
33:34Beat the head tube
33:37No dice, baby!
33:41Let's go for a fish
33:42A fish
33:43This fish
33:44My sternum fish
33:45Mm-hmm
33:46No!
33:47Penguin
33:48On the head?
33:49Yes
33:50No!
33:51Right shoulder
33:52Wrong shoulder, baby!
33:53This one
33:54That's another guess
33:55I'm just gonna check the back
33:56Oh dear
33:57Oh dear
33:58Oh dear
33:59Oh dear
34:00I'd like to put my hand in there
34:01I'd like you to
34:03Right wrist
34:04No!
34:05Left wrist
34:06No!
34:07Can I have Adele?
34:08It's a welcome mat, crack on
34:09I just wanna see if it's going up or down
34:10I don't know if you're allowed
34:11That was my penis
34:13Right elbow
34:14No!
34:15Left elbow
34:16No!
34:17Racking them seconds up, Alex
34:1825
34:1939
34:2040
34:2141
34:2228
34:2329
34:24I mean I can see that some of these aren't going anywhere
34:2530, 31
34:2632
34:2733
34:2834
34:29Quick trip round the back
34:30예
34:38Mazy are you gonna squirt me out of your arse?
34:44Yeah
34:45Okay, in 21 seconds of squirting out of your arse
34:4821 seconds
34:49Yep
34:50I can see a crease in your left boot
34:52Oh, well I hope we've got a winner
34:54So
34:5645 seconds
34:5745 seconds
34:58I don't think I feel comfortable wasting that much water.
35:05There's been a few tasks in this series where Maisie
35:09looked incredibly pleased with herself and smug,
35:12and it has always ended in disaster.
35:14But that time, well-deserved.
35:17Yeah. Pleased with herself throughout,
35:19and then delighted that she's going to squirt you from her ass.
35:23And as for the porcupine poet of squirting,
35:28a similar tactic to cover himself in stuff.
35:32Yeah. And some lovely messages for the kids there.
35:35Are you going to put your hand in there? I'd like to.
35:38I'd like you to. That's consent.
35:44Just one more small part left.
35:47Who will squirt Alex for the longest? Who will win the trophy?
35:51And who will take home the last?
35:53And I imagine the strongest of Sanjeev's urine sump.
35:59Stay tuned.
36:10Hello.
36:11We are then the last part of our final
36:14and our 20th adventure together, my little friend.
36:21We got it together, didn't we, mate?
36:26We got it together.
36:27Finally.
36:33Here we go, then.
36:34Just one more person for me to guess from whence the water will come.
36:38And it is Sanjeev Bhaskar like you've never seen him before.
36:42Hi, Sanjeev.
36:44OK. Sanjeev, my first guess, are you going to squirt me from your mouth?
37:03Are you going to squirt me out of your eyes?
37:10Are you going to squirt me out of your bosoms?
37:13From your tummy?
37:15Can I see your hands?
37:17Right, well...
37:19OK, so you've got lots of water balloons strapped to your chest.
37:22Are you going to squirt me from your chest area?
37:26From your legs?
37:27From your behind?
37:29Armpits?
37:30Flanks?
37:32Flanks?
37:35Flanks?
37:36No.
37:38Would you mind opening up a little bit more for me?
37:40Right.
37:48Are you going to squirt me from your crotch?
37:50Feet.
37:51Ears.
37:52Hands.
37:53Knees.
37:54Neck.
37:55Shins.
37:56Nape.
37:57From your hips.
37:58Top of the head.
37:59Lower back.
38:00Shoulders.
38:01Thummy button.
38:02Nostrils.
38:03Forehead.
38:04That is all of you.
38:05Are you going to squirt me?
38:06From your body?
38:07From here to here?
38:12From this side of you?
38:14Right.
38:19OK.
38:20Elbow.
38:21You're going to squirt me from your elbow?
38:24Whoo!
38:25OK.
38:26You're...
38:27Oh!
38:28Flanks?
38:29Flanks?
38:31I would add another 20 minutes onto that for your sheer desperation.
38:37Another character that will endure, I'm sure.
38:42Who was that man of mystery?
38:44Flanks.
38:45Flanks?
38:46You were so upset by me suggesting flanks.
38:48I just think generally they're irritated by you this series.
38:51Yeah.
38:52I agree with that.
38:53You're the standard chance.
38:54Yeah, there were 29 guesses.
38:56So it's another nearly half a minute of squirting I'm going to have in a second.
38:59Points-wise, Anya, just the one point.
39:01It's two to Reece with his 14 questions, three to Maisie, four to Sanjeev,
39:06but Phil with his 45 questions.
39:08Five points!
39:09APPLAUSE
39:12Here they are then, your classes.
39:13Series 20, Simply Squirting.
39:17Water on, please.
39:19Squirt.
39:36This is the best fun of my life.
39:38Five, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, and ten.
40:06I'm trying to open my eyes to look at my walk.
40:07No, you're not allowed.
40:08Three seconds left.
40:09I'm happy with that.
40:11Mm.
40:12Thank you very much, Sanjeev.
40:13Thank you for squirting me for 29 seconds.
40:15Triumph.
40:16Go.
40:17I'm happy with that.
40:18Thank you very much, Sanjeev.
40:19Thank you for squirting me for 29 seconds.
40:20Triumph.
40:21Did you piss yourself?
40:22I didn't piss myself.
40:23I didn't piss myself.
40:24I don't know.
40:25I'm 46.
40:26Finally!
40:27Finally!
40:28It's another one off the bucket list.
40:29Now all I'm going to do is marry a swan.
40:31I need lent!
40:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:33AND APPLAUSE
40:34AND APPLAUSE
40:35AND APPLAUSE
40:36I'm happy with that.
40:37Mm.
40:38Thank you very much, Sanjeev.
40:39Thank you very much, Sanjeev.
40:40Thank you for squirting me for 29 seconds.
40:41Triumph.
40:42Did you piss yourself?
40:43I didn't piss myself.
40:44I don't know.
40:45I'm 46.
40:46Finally!
40:47It's another one off the bucket list.
40:48Now all I'm going to do is marry a swan.
40:50I need lent!
40:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:55It's difficult to know who enjoyed it the most, doesn't it, really?
40:58All my dreams came true.
41:00The targeted crotch squirt from Rhys was good.
41:05But facially, the person who enjoyed it most was you.
41:12Looked like a 12-year-old.
41:15She was so accurate.
41:17Also great.
41:18So satisfied.
41:19Mm.
41:20Series-wise, there is still just one point in it at the top.
41:23Oh!
41:24What?!
41:25OK, everyone.
41:26I'm afraid it's time for you all to make your way to the stage
41:29for the final task of the series!
41:37What a lovely collection of final pirates.
41:41Who's going to read the task out?
41:42I think Rhys is going to read the final task.
41:44A correspondence.
41:46LAUGHTER
41:47Respond to the taskmaster correctly.
41:51When he says wibble, you say bibble.
41:54When he says bibble, you say bam.
41:57When he says bam, you say wibble, bibble, bam.
42:02If you dither or err, you are eliminated.
42:05Last player standing wins.
42:09LAUGHTER
42:10So Greg will look at one of you and that's who he's talking to.
42:13You must respond correctly and quickly.
42:15If there's too much of a pause, you will be eliminated.
42:18If you make a mistake, you're out.
42:19You have to sit on the elimination bench over there.
42:21Wibble, bam.
42:22I will blow the whistle if there's a mistake.
42:24Wibble, bibble, bam.
42:26Here we go.
42:27Wibble.
42:28Bibble.
42:29Bibble.
42:30Bam.
42:31Bam.
42:32Wibble, bibble, bam.
42:34Wibble.
42:35Bam.
42:37Fuck!
42:39LAUGHTER
42:40It's always bibble after wibble.
42:43OK.
42:44Now the whistle.
42:46Wibble.
42:47Bibble.
42:48Bam.
42:49Wibble, bibble, bam.
42:50Bam.
42:51Wibble, bibble, bam.
42:52Bibble.
42:53Bam.
42:54Wibble.
42:55Bibble.
42:56Bam.
42:57Wibble, bibble, bam.
42:58Bibble.
42:59Bam.
43:00Wibble.
43:01Bibble.
43:02Bam.
43:03Wibble, bibble, bam.
43:04Bibble.
43:05Bib...bam.
43:07APPLAUSE
43:08APPLAUSE
43:14What a terrible day for feminism.
43:18Silence!
43:19Benches on the benches.
43:23Are you ready? Yeah.
43:24Bam.
43:25Wibble, wibble, bam.
43:26Bibble.
43:27Bam.
43:28Bibble.
43:29Bam.
43:30Wibble, bibble, bam.
43:31Bibble.
43:32Wibble.
43:33I went wrong!
43:34We've lost Rhys.
43:35He said bibble, he said wibble.
43:36That's not right, surely.
43:37I protest your magnification!
43:40APPLAUSE
43:42This is the final.
43:43Here we go.
43:44Bam.
43:45Wibble, bibble, bam.
43:46Bibble.
43:47Bam.
43:48Wibble.
43:49Bibble.
43:50Bibble.
43:51Bam.
43:52Wibble, bibble, bam.
43:53Bibble.
43:54Bibble.
43:55Bam.
43:56Bam!
43:57Wibble, bibble, bam.
43:58Wibble.
43:59Bibble, bam.
44:00Bam!
44:01Wibble, bibble, bam.
44:02Bam!
44:03Wibble, bibble, bam.
44:04Bibble.
44:05Wibble.
44:06Oh!
44:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:10You soft-haired lovely. Congratulations.
44:15We'll add that to the final scores. Come down and join me!
44:24What a climax to the series.
44:26I was genuinely shaking afterwards.
44:29Well done. Five points, of course, to Phil Ellis.
44:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:34And so, we'll deal with the episode first, I imagine.
44:37Of course.
44:38It means that in joint second, with 16 points,
44:40it's Rhys and Sanjee!
44:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:44We're the winner.
44:46With 17 points, it's Maisie Adam!
44:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:52Maisie Adam wins the episode!
44:54Please show up to the stage to be triumphant, will you, Duke?
44:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:01Hello, my friends.
45:09The crowning of a new Taskmaster champion is a historic event,
45:14which we celebrate just twice a year.
45:16That's right, quite often.
45:18But it remains of great significance.
45:21And so now, I call upon my administrator, Alex.
45:24Just how close was this?
45:26I must tell you that in fifth place,
45:28but just a handful of points away from the others,
45:31one of my all-time heroes, it's Sanjeev Bhaskar,
45:34with 145 points!
45:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:38Just five points ahead of Sanjeev, with 148 points.
45:42Another of my heroes, it's Rhys Shearsmith!
45:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:46And only a few points above that, with 151 points.
45:52It's Phil Illis!
45:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:56And Maisie Adam!
45:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:01And Annie Magliaro!
46:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:08It's never happened before.
46:14It is a series tie-break.
46:16A three-way.
46:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:20Yes, it's the most important tie-break in the world.
46:24We want you to think back and tell us
46:27how many letter T's are there
46:30in the portrait of me and Greg in the living room.
46:33Oh. Are you fucking joking?
46:35Come on!
46:36Closest wins.
46:38You're going to have some cards to write down your answers.
46:40What do you mean, T's?
46:41The letter T.
46:42Then it's actually written down?
46:45There were letter T's on the picture
46:47the whole time you were there.
46:48They were hidden within the painting.
46:50And what, er, roughly how many is it?
46:52LAUGHTER
46:53Write down a number, nice and clear,
46:55and then keep it to yourself.
47:00Philip, how many T's were hidden in the painting?
47:03Ten.
47:04Maisie?
47:05Five.
47:06Sixteen.
47:07Here is the picture.
47:08You can see a T here.
47:10Here.
47:11Here.
47:12On my dungarees.
47:13Oh.
47:14Here.
47:15On the doorbell.
47:16And that is all the T's are a four T's.
47:18We have a winner!
47:19Oh, yeah!
47:20Oh, wow!
47:21The new Taskmaster champion is Maisie Adam!
47:22The new Taskmaster champion is Maisie Adam!
47:26Oh, wow!
47:27Oh, wow!
47:28Oh, wow!
47:29Oh, wow!
47:30Oh, wow!
47:32So, I thought he was very good and more.
47:33Oh, wow!
47:34Oh, wow!
47:35My people!
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