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Taskmaster - S20 E08 >>> https://dai.ly/x9syfok
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00:00Oh
00:02No
00:18Nothing's ever straightforward in this stupid house
00:30They say it's not the winning that counts
00:40It's the taking part and if you're a child watching the pre watershed version of this show
00:44I'm here to tell you an uncomfortable truth. You're being told that because you're not good enough
00:50That's the kids sorted now
00:52Oh
00:55Let's see if we can break some adults, please. Welcome
01:15He told me and I really must distance myself from comments like this
01:19That he thinks that women are like electric vehicles. Really good as long as they're not in charge
01:34How you feeling? I'm feeling good unfortunately. Lurgy. You've got the lurgy now. No returns. No returns
01:40I've had that for two months
01:42You've now got it. You can't get me. Oh
01:45Cheese touch bad luck. Come on get me
01:47You're now a social outcast
01:50Cheese touch. Yeah, yeah
01:52Oh
01:52No, you've got loads of up dog on your waistcoat. What's up dog? Not much. What about you?
02:02That has killed the atmosphere
02:07What's the prize task? You've been very specific yet incredibly vague with this one Greg
02:12As they've been asked to bring in the best thing you can either ride or rip
02:18Yes
02:19Ride or rip or is it both that's up to Greg my favorite host ever
02:24The winner of the episode will take home all five things
02:26You can either ride or rip or both maybe which is pretty sick and gnarly, but that's quite enough for me
02:31I'll see you all later
02:33Hello, what have you brought me that I might like to ride?
02:37Or rip
02:38I figured the most fun thing to ride
02:41Would be
02:42Alex horn
02:46According to the internet I agree. Yeah
02:48I bought something which will allow you to be able to maneuver him
02:58Perfectly fits alex horn's head lovely and obviously you've got rearview mirrors so you can see what's coming up behind you
03:05Yeah, and a bell to warn people that your alex horn's coming
03:09And I mean that in a pre-watershed way
03:18So anyone can ride me with this device you could be on all fours and somebody can be sitting on your back
03:24And they've got your head
03:26Also sitting on your shoulders like that and leaning down. Yeah, like a penny farthing like a penny
03:32Oh
03:34Phil right, so this is something that
03:38Is a you were ripping and riding at the same time if you'd like to show here it is check this out
03:47So you're ripping off a very famous monty python joke
03:51And you're riding an imaginary could be a pony could be a horse could be a camel
03:57And I've put a nice little ribbon on it so you can wear it around like mittens through your coat
04:02Oh
04:04Because if you lose one you're just a madman waving around half a coconut
04:09Yeah, yeah one but when you're on the end one you've got to you. Yeah, yeah, right
04:14Don't beat the horn here. It'll startle her
04:17I like it
04:18Maisie i've gone all ride on this one. I'm hoping it will please you greg
04:24It's even been mentioned so far. It's a
04:28personalized greg davies
04:32It's gonna be a struggle for you to get in that seat but my god it will feel
04:44Brilliant once you're in you're in aren't you once you're in you're in famously
04:48Yeah
04:50Oh, these are all good someone's gonna mess up aren't they race
04:56Well, i've gone ride and rip and in the 70s the we used to have daredevils
05:02You don't get them anymore
05:03But there was one very famous daredevil evil can evil and i had the evil can evil
05:09Toy can i say it's my favorite ever toy amazing well, it's that because you get the opportunity to sort of ride like
05:16Evil and the rip cord is the rip of the ride if you and there's a picture here of it
05:22There we go, there he is rip cord racer i remembered the rip here we go
05:26There he is
05:27And then up he goes and he's on
05:29And there is a thank you
05:31There is also another rip because evil never meant
05:39And he didn't actually die
05:42It's a lovely double rip oh that saved him
05:45Up to that point he just bought in a toy
05:47That little joke saved him
05:49Anya
05:50I've brought in something that i've designed
05:53It's based on my feeling that when i travel have quite a weak bladder
05:59Yeah
05:59So i've designed something that should smoothen that situation
06:03Smoother mate
06:12This is anya demonstrating it
06:13And she is using it in both functions during that clip
06:21Yeah
06:21Let's say if on monday i wanted to go to the chelsea flower show
06:27You don't you think they'd be fine with me writing this road
06:30Yeah 100%
06:30Just dropping turds on the floor
06:33I think so
06:34That's good for the soil isn't it
06:36They'd be welcoming you inside
06:38They'd be going over here our garden
06:40The peace garden the peace garden
06:43It's
06:45Quit feeding
06:49Can i say one more thing it cost me four figures
06:54You had to pay over a thousand pounds for it
06:57Yeah
06:58Oh my god it'd be so funny if i gave you just one break
07:02Please i'm begging you if you do that i will break
07:05Okay you've seen all five yeah it's hard to separate i think they're all pretty good
07:09I mean reese's is the worst but then he saved it with that joke
07:13Well i'm not going to give you one
07:15Oh okay because i liked it
07:17I'm going to give him two points but you are last reese
07:20Yeah apparently
07:22Two lovely points followed by three lovely points
07:25Coconuts four points a penny farthing
07:28But third place the third place yeah
07:30No
07:31Second place joint first place are you kidding me no offence sanjeev
07:35This is a hat
07:36Yeah i loved it
07:38So it's four points to maybe five points to sanjeev and anya
07:41There you go
07:42There we go well done
07:47I've got to be honest i don't think i scored that very well
07:50Right let's start with the team
07:54Okie dokie yes of course but be warned
07:56I have word from security that there's trouble going down at the taskmaster museum
08:10Start for a month check
08:17Pressure pad check
08:20Statue in place
08:21Hot room clear
08:29Oh god
08:30Reese
08:31What's this
08:32Are we safe
08:32I don't know
08:35Oh there's a lot to take in here
08:38What's this
08:39Oh god
08:40Floor plans
08:41Are we doing a heist
08:42Oh god
08:43Where's alex
08:45Where is alex
08:46Oh this is horrible
08:47Look
08:48It's the house
08:49Steal the statue of archimedes
08:52Steal the statue of archimedes
08:55You have 15 minutes of observation and preparation in the van
09:00Then 15 minutes to carry out your heist
09:03Most sophisticated successful heist wins
09:06Your time starts now
09:09So we are going to have to steal
09:12That right
09:14Where is that
09:19Is that alex
09:20Oh no he's a policeman
09:21He's got important codes
09:23Important codes
09:23Okay
09:24Let's check out his roots
09:25So his root is he comes out of the house
09:27We don't have that long guys
09:33Staff room door alarm check
09:35Good it was three beeps of two after alarm check
09:38Shed
09:38Check clear
09:39Right we need to get to the tool shed
09:42Statue room
09:44Pressure mat alarm check
09:47Good good to know
09:48Pressure pad
09:49Yeah
09:49Don't step on that
09:52Functioning
09:53Statue in place
09:54301022
09:56It said 301022
09:58Excellent work
10:04Wait he's taking his jacket off to go to the toilet
10:06If he does a routine wee
10:08That's the time to get the jacket and the keys
10:10Yeah
10:10With it around his neck
10:14Oh my god
10:16He's not well
10:23So he's now he's in the lung
10:28Oh look he's not wee again
10:29Two minutes
10:31He wee's every two minutes
10:32This is such good info
10:33Yeah
10:33Yeah there's the key look there's the key
10:35So they're in his top left pocket
10:37Is there a way of keeping him in the toilet
10:39But is there something we can wage against it
10:41Yeah
10:42Let's kill him
10:45Thank you
10:50I mean I was genuinely drawn into the drama of it up until that point
10:54I'm quite excited about this
10:56Yeah
10:56It's very dramatic
10:57Who are we going to see first?
10:58Well first to plot and then partake in a heist are your stereotypical gangsters
11:03Anya, Philip and Sanjeev
11:06The plan is go to the tool shed
11:08Or should two of us just run in and grab as much stuff as we think is useful
11:11Mm-hmm
11:14Where is he? Where is he?
11:15He's there
11:16301
11:17Go guys go
11:18See what you can find
11:24Hey how's it going?
11:25Yeah huge wire cutter
11:26I'm getting a net
11:30Oh yeah get a net let's just trap him and kill him I keep telling you
11:32What? Where's Sanjeev?
11:37Oh shit
11:38Sanjeev
11:38Oh shit
11:41Right, go, go, go, go
11:46Okay
11:47What's this?
11:51That's what it was in there
11:54That's what it was
11:55Okay, the statue has a weight sensor
11:57Maybe that could replace it
11:59Right
12:00I'm just going to have a quick look in the shed
12:03Statue in place
12:07Is he about to go to the news soon?
12:08Okay
12:20Okay, we've got keys
12:30Hello? Hello?
12:31I don't think it worked
12:38Sanjeev, are you there?
12:39He's out of the loot
12:40Interesting
12:41He's heading to the camera feed room
12:44He needs to hide from the cameras now
12:45Hide from the cameras
12:47Who's that?
12:48You're typical on camera
12:49He's in the camera room did you say
12:51I'm going to go and investigate
12:53He's heading out the front door
12:54All the cameras have gone off
13:08All the cameras have gone off
13:12Where have they gone?
13:12Hi
13:24Hello sir
13:25No, you shouldn't be here after the museum is shut
13:27What is your name?
13:28Pip
13:28Yeah, you're sorry
13:29I have a single out
13:30Where are you from?
13:30In the nineties
13:31Right
13:32Going to the car park
13:33Yeah, no, I do apologise about that
13:42I've got it, I've got it, I've got it
13:52Oh, what is that?
13:54I need someone to figure out where he is that I can get back
13:57I've got the statue
13:59Oh yeah, I'll go and distract him
14:00Because he can actually send you back here
14:02Hello?
14:04Just sent Phil to distract him because we've got no cameras at all
14:09Sorry, me again
14:10What time do you open tomorrow?
14:12Pip, you should be open at half eight
14:13If you wouldn't mind leaving the premises
14:17How was the pleasure?
14:18It's been great
14:19So we are shut at the moment
14:20Thank you
14:21No, I do apologise
14:21No problem
14:22All right
14:22Thanks mate
14:23I've only got seven minutes left
14:24That's a shame
14:26Statue room
14:27Pressure pad, check
14:34Stat
14:37Statue's gone
14:42You're right, you know, it is weird you don't get cast in more stuff
14:48You know what also, that wasn't acting
14:53I hadn't seen any of the footage because he tore the wires out of the security
14:58Which means we didn't even record the security footage after that because we weren't expecting anyone to rip the wires off
15:02So all that footage is gone and I couldn't believe the statue had gone
15:07Yeah, you sort of came good at the end up until that point
15:10I don't think it's unfair to say you might be the weak link
15:12You remembered the code
15:17Well done
15:18I loved finding an object to replace the weight of the statue
15:22It was all going to plan and then we had a northern man dressed as a 70s pimp
15:30Attempt to lock him in the toilet and fail
15:34And then you became a maintenance man called Pip
15:38You gave a fake name Pip which is short for your name
15:41Yeah, I know
15:42I think every time we've done a team task and I say this was so much love
15:46Oh, thanks
15:48But we've been doing one the actual task and then the second task of wrangling Phil
15:54Very enjoyable
15:55We've reached the end of the first part of our first heist
15:59Another lesson for you youngsters out there
16:01If you haven't got the things you like steal them
16:04See you in a bit
16:11Heist
16:12So
16:14Hello, welcome back to taskmasters part 2
16:16And our cast are planning and participating in heists at taskmaster museum
16:21Fortunately for them the security guard is this goon
16:24Hello!
16:26Yes, they're trying to steal the statue of Archimedes,
16:29and there's just one crime duo left to go.
16:32Chill out, Cray Twins, it's time for Rhys Fearsmith
16:35and Maisie doesn't give a damn.
16:37LAUGHTER
16:39Important codes. We need to get that off him, then.
16:42He needs a wee...
16:44He puts it down, he puts it down. He puts it down, good.
16:46Right, shall I just go in now, and he's in the loo?
16:48Go now!
16:51If you can hear me, I think he's coming out.
16:54Oh, Jesus, he's got it.
16:57Quickly get in.
16:59He had this code, 301-022.
17:02Great.
17:03Well, now it makes me think that it's not a key, it's...
17:05It's not a key.
17:06It's codes that are on that.
17:08Checking security cameras...
17:10Is he going in the lab?
17:12Yeah, he'll be in the lab.
17:13Shall I go now?
17:14301-022.
17:18Any trouble?
17:19Good.
17:21Oh, hang on a minute.
17:23There's someone out there.
17:26There's an umbrella.
17:27Oh, God.
17:28Rhys!
17:29Ah!
17:30Ah!
17:31Excuse me, I just saw someone.
17:35Rhys, move!
17:36Move, Rhys!
17:37Oh, shit!
17:38Rhys!
17:39Excuse me, sir.
17:40Hi.
17:41We're shut, I'm afraid.
17:42Oh, I'm sorry about that.
17:43I went wrong.
17:44I went wrong.
17:45Back to the car park, please.
17:46Which way round is it, please?
17:47There we go.
17:48Jesus Christ.
17:49It's not a code, it's a lock with the number four on it.
17:54I'm going to have a look now, shall I?
17:57Hang on.
17:58There's someone on this camera.
17:59Right, off we go again.
18:00Oh, no, he's seen it.
18:01He's spotted it.
18:02Hello?
18:03Yeah, I just saw you on the camera.
18:04You did?
18:05Excuse me, I didn't know which way round I'm meant to be going.
18:07I'll send you back to the car park.
18:08Sorry.
18:09Right, what's your name?
18:10Er, Lindsay.
18:11Staff room alarm check.
18:12Oh, for fucking hell.
18:13Oh, come on.
18:14He said he saw me on the camera.
18:15Do you know what we do?
18:16What?
18:17We run in and we just grab that whole box and run out with it.
18:18You reckon when he's in the loo, now?
18:19Yeah.
18:20Yeah?
18:21Ready?
18:22Don't step on the map.
18:23Just dank it.
18:24Don't step on the map.
18:25Just dank it.
18:29CHOICE FOLLOWING
18:31PHOIL
18:33C SHEILES
18:44CHOPPING
18:46DANG
18:47Yes.
18:57We're in.
18:59Well, we've stolen it.
19:00We need to make it at least appear sophisticated.
19:02Shall we leave him a little note?
19:03Yeah.
19:04Thank you for the free gift.
19:09We're going, we're going, we're going.
19:20Well, first things first.
19:22Successful.
19:23Yep.
19:24Sophisticated.
19:25Yeah.
19:26Tell me about the see-through umbrella disguise.
19:28LAUGHTER
19:29I tell you what happened.
19:30We didn't... Our walkie-talkies didn't work.
19:32Walkie-talkies. They didn't work, which is why I had to resort
19:35to other modes of communication.
19:38What a warning.
19:39Well, it needed to attract Reece's attention, but...
19:42But, but blend in with the atmosphere.
19:44LAUGHTER
19:45I know.
19:46In a sophisticated way.
19:48Shall we have a look at it?
19:49Oh, God.
19:50Reece!
19:51ARGH!
19:52ARGH!
19:54Sophistication.
19:56It's just like watching Ocean's Eleven.
19:58Just incredible.
20:00Both successful.
20:01Yes.
20:02I think the team of three were more sophisticated.
20:04Five points to the team of three.
20:06APPLAUSE
20:08Feels like three is fair.
20:10I've written off what you have in your mind as fair.
20:13You did too.
20:14LAUGHTER
20:15Three points.
20:16Three points to the team of two.
20:17There we go.
20:18It feels fair.
20:20Both very entertaining.
20:22Scoreboard, please.
20:23Yes, well, Sanjeev, we know, has not won an episode yet,
20:25but he's joint in the lead with Anya on ten points.
20:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
20:32This could be the one.
20:33This could be the one.
20:34On with another task, please.
20:36Oh, yes, please.
20:37And it's that time in the series when we get grim.
20:41Good evening, Alex.
20:58I know they'll never have let me out of here while I'm alive.
21:02LAUGHTER
21:03Quick pro quo.
21:04I tell your things yourself.
21:05You tell me things.
21:06Hi.
21:07Chris Eubank?
21:08Sorry?
21:09Chris Eubank?
21:10Yeah, who was it supposed to be?
21:11It was Hannibal Lecter.
21:12Oh, was it?
21:13Oh, lovely.
21:14Lovely.
21:15Chris Eubank.
21:16You look ready?
21:17Glad it looks that way.
21:18This is wet.
21:19Yeah, that's my fault.
21:20Dribble a Technicolor picture of your hero.
21:27Your Technicolor picture must only be made from things that have travelled...
21:31Directly from your mouth...
21:33To the tray, through the air.
21:35And cannot be tampered with post-dribble.
21:37Best Technicolor dribble picture wins.
21:40You have 15 minutes.
21:42Your time starts now.
21:44Are the colours available somewhere?
21:47You may leave the room.
21:49OK.
21:50It may not be coming back.
21:52Right.
21:53Just saying, eh?
21:54APPLAUSE
21:56Are you looking forward to it, Chris Eubank?
22:01LAUGHTER
22:05Can you do a Chris Eubank, just for the record?
22:07Yes, of course I can.
22:08LAUGHTER
22:10APPLAUSE
22:12Let's back on.
22:14OK.
22:15First to demonstrate their committal to spittle are Anya, Sanjeev and Rhys Shearspit.
22:20LAUGHTER
22:22So, we've got some items here.
22:23It's not many different colours.
22:24It's hard to find colours.
22:25Anyway...
22:26Shall I tell you afterwards who it is?
22:28Up to you.
22:29I have some supplies.
22:31Yes, it must be Technicolor, so this is good.
22:33An artist prepares.
22:34Sorry, I forgot what the rules were.
22:39LAUGHTER
22:41Excellent.
22:46I'm going to draw...
22:47Dribble.
22:48Dribble.
22:49William Shakespeare.
22:53Getting that in there, then.
22:54What's the liquid?
22:55It's coffee.
22:56OK.
22:57LAUGHTER
23:18I had a question.
23:19Erm, I need to go to the loo.
23:21Does that come out of my time?
23:23LAUGHTER
23:24Or do you pause it?
23:25It comes out of your time, Sanjeev.
23:27It's not right.
23:28It's not right.
23:37Welcome back.
23:38Thank you very much.
23:39Seven minutes now.
23:40LAUGHTER
23:41Very accurate.
23:43You've got to be bold.
23:47LAUGHTER
23:52Very accurate.
23:54You've got to be bold.
23:55Tsk, tsk, tsk.
23:57Tsk, tsk.
23:58Fuck.
23:59Tsk, tsk.
24:00Tsk, tsk.
24:01Uff.
24:09Oh!
24:15Uh...
24:16Ugh!
24:18It's him and his old age.
24:26Writing his last play.
24:38You know when you can sometimes...
24:41..you don't know when to start?
24:43That's it, I'm going to start. Yeah. That's it. That's it.
24:46Done.
24:48APPLAUSE
24:50What I originally wrote down was that Anya was quite sort of
24:54traditionally ladylike in the way that she dribbled the picture
24:57until suddenly you turned into the exorcist.
25:01LAUGHTER
25:02You achieved a 30-second dribble.
25:04A constant half-minute stream.
25:07I'm not sure that's something to be proud of.
25:09Sanjeev was nicely controlled.
25:11He was in the toilet for most of the eternity.
25:14I mean, honestly, though, Rhys, you...
25:16For most of it, you look like someone in Watford High Street
25:19on a Saturday night.
25:22Honking up.
25:23I expected you to go,
25:24Get my brother!
25:25Get my brother!
25:28I think it's because of what the colour was.
25:31The choice of colour did not help the overall image.
25:34OK. Let's start with Shakespeare.
25:36Let's.
25:37Everyone's hero, really.
25:38This is Anya's take on William Shakespeare.
25:40LAUGHTER
25:46So, let's focus on the rough.
25:48Yeah, the rough is excellent.
25:49The rough is there.
25:50I did actually make a note.
25:51I was surprised by how much the squirty cream looked like a rough
25:54when it was going on.
25:55It's good, isn't it?
25:56And then...
25:57So, that's his pen...
25:58His quill, the red at the bottom.
25:59Mm.
26:00I mean, honest to God, it's rubbish.
26:02LAUGHTER
26:03And then the orange is like...
26:04Because it was in medieval times, that's like...
26:07The air looked like that.
26:10Pollution, because they didn't have air conditioning.
26:12Because of the smog.
26:13Because of the smog.
26:14Oh, yeah.
26:15Oh, no, it is good.
26:16LAUGHTER
26:17Sorry, sorry, this is...
26:19Because this is bugging me slightly.
26:21Yeah.
26:22Like, they...
26:23It was in the late 1600s.
26:24Yeah.
26:25It was pre-smog.
26:26They didn't have factories.
26:28LAUGHTER
26:33Someone doesn't know about the Industrial Revolution.
26:36Who's next?
26:37Well, see if you can work out who Sanjeev's hero is.
26:40LAUGHTER
26:41Who?
26:42You're back in the game.
26:43Yeah.
26:44Well, I mean, obviously, I'm not going to be able to guess it.
26:46You'll kick yourself.
26:47It's Gene Wilder.
26:48LAUGHTER
26:55It's the smile.
26:56The smile gives it away.
26:57Can you see it now?
26:58The smile knows.
26:59Oh, God.
27:00Once you start looking at it, you see Gene Wilder.
27:01There's Wonka.
27:02Yeah.
27:03And he's got that trademark factory smog around the edge.
27:07Who's next?
27:08Well, we have a recognised artist here.
27:10Reece Shearsmith has done this person.
27:12Can you work out who this is?
27:13Here we go.
27:14Wow.
27:15Oh.
27:16That's great.
27:17Who's the old actor Reece keeps mentioning?
27:20Matt Boris Karloff?
27:22You're in the forefront.
27:23You're in the right world.
27:24Is it Dracula?
27:25It is Dracula!
27:26It's Dracula!
27:27It's Dracula.
27:28It's Dracula.
27:30You were right, you only did need those two colours.
27:32That's in the corner.
27:33Yeah.
27:34The widow's peak, the moon as well is up there.
27:36The dark, foreboding atmosphere.
27:38Oh, the eyes.
27:39The eyes.
27:40The eyes.
27:41The red burning eyes.
27:42That's so haunting.
27:43OK.
27:44It's time to pause and reflect on the horrors we've just seen.
27:46Make Grandad a cup of tea and wake him up.
27:48We've got dribbling covered.
27:50Yeah!
27:51Yeah!
27:52That's so haunting.
27:53That's so haunting.
27:55APPLAUSE
27:59Hello!
28:00Welcome to the start of part three.
28:03I'm afraid there's a drool-based art task which still needs completing.
28:07Yes, it's a horrible thing and I really, really enjoy it.
28:10We have double dribble to end with.
28:11It's Maisie and Phil.
28:13Wonderful.
28:14Right, well, you'll be surprised to know I'm not going to leave this room.
28:17I'm going to do it all from everything we've got right here.
28:20Well, you're joking, that would be genuinely insane.
28:23LAUGHTER
28:28Right.
28:39How do we feel about crayons?
28:41Oh, we're off.
28:46There he is!
28:47Oh, blue eyes himself!
28:49LAUGHTER
28:52Drying it, you think, duck.
28:54LAUGHTER
28:57EARTH
28:58LAUGHTER
28:59EARTH
29:01EARTH
29:02EARTH
29:03EARTH
29:04EARTH
29:05EARTH
29:06EARTH
29:07EARTH
29:08It can't be tampered with once it's fallen.
29:21Oh, you tit!
29:23Well, you've got two minutes now.
29:28Recognisable?
29:29Yeah, spitting image.
29:30That's good.
29:33Spitting.
29:34Spitting image.
29:35Yeah, I'll write that down.
29:39Now, that is pretty good.
29:46You're welcome.
29:49Thanks for your time.
29:50I feel sick.
29:57Well, I quote Phil.
29:59I'm going to stay in the lab and just chew up the task.
30:01I'm only joking.
30:02That would be genuinely insane.
30:05Were you all told you could leave the room?
30:07I did leave off my own accord, if I'm honest.
30:10Sounds like you've had to go to the loo.
30:12Yeah.
30:13And that time wasn't taken off.
30:15I'm still kind of shocked at that.
30:16It means if I'd had a heart attack, at some point,
30:19when the paramedics were working on me,
30:21you would have said, time's up.
30:22LAUGHTER
30:23APPLAUSE
30:30So, yeah, I guess, I presume people would think,
30:32well, I have to leave the room because there was nothing in the room.
30:35Well, because I looked around at what I had available
30:37and thought, well, it must be the envelope.
30:39Did you eat the word technicolour first, do you think?
30:42Shut up.
30:44LAUGHTER
30:49Have a look at what this lady's done with her mouth.
30:50This is...
30:52This is a technicolour picture of her hero.
30:56Look at the tie.
30:57Yeah, there's a tie.
30:58Flash microphones.
30:59It's not as bad as I was expecting, to be fair.
31:01It's very much a face.
31:02And I...
31:03I've met Rod Stewart,
31:04and he looks almost exactly the same as that.
31:06LAUGHTER
31:07It's Rod Stewart.
31:08You're all right.
31:09APPLAUSE
31:12So, I haven't seen the picture yet.
31:14Mm.
31:15From the angle we've seen it at,
31:16it looks like madness.
31:19It's quite accurate.
31:20OK.
31:21There it is.
31:23I remember it as a lot better than that.
31:26It's like scanners when the head blows up.
31:29Is it Elvis?
31:30No.
31:31No.
31:32That's his gorgeous red hair.
31:33Hucknall.
31:34And, you know...
31:35Hucknall it is, it is.
31:36Make Hucknall as well.
31:37It's Hucknall!
31:38APPLAUSE
31:43Let's put all five up, then.
31:44What a line-up that would be for Taskmaster Series 21, though.
31:49Some of them have only got two colours,
31:51but I won't penalise that,
31:52because the main thing is the likeness.
31:55And on this occasion, I'm going to give Anya one point.
31:57BUH!
31:59I'm so sorry.
32:01I like the character,
32:02but he doesn't look like Gene Wilder.
32:04I'm going to give two points to Sanjeev.
32:06OK.
32:07Against all odds, I'm giving Rod Stewart three points.
32:09Even more against the odds, I'm giving Mick Hucknall,
32:12because there's an element of animation to it,
32:14four points.
32:15And clearly, even though there are only two colours,
32:18Dracula is the superior painting.
32:20Five points to me.
32:21Five points to me, sir.
32:22APPLAUSE
32:24Yeah, it's cruel, all right.
32:25Shall we have another task?
32:26We shall.
32:27And just like Greg and his teaching days,
32:29this one involves me getting hammered at work.
32:31LAUGHTER
32:33Oh, nice head tattoo.
32:49Thank you, Anya, in you go.
32:51Do I look about for the task, maybe?
32:53Yeah, if you want, sure.
32:54Nice.
32:57Is it in a thing?
32:59No.
33:01What is the task and where is it?
33:06Someone's rustling.
33:07Oh.
33:11Oh, look at it.
33:13Oh, it's there.
33:14God.
33:15Oh, hello.
33:16Oh.
33:17Do you like pantomimes?
33:18Why?
33:19So, er...
33:20Oh, yes, I do.
33:21Oh, yes, I do.
33:22Oh, no, you don't.
33:23Oh, yes, I do.
33:24Do you?
33:25Yes.
33:27It's like a really low-budget kids' show.
33:29Not low-budget.
33:30No, it's like a really high-budget kids' show.
33:32Sometimes it's behind you.
33:34It's behind you!
33:35That's the...
33:42Get exactly 63 points by bopping Alex on the head.
33:46You must shout a different type of food on each bop
33:49to register the bop.
33:51If you bop anyone other than Alex, five bops will be deducted
33:55from your total score.
33:57You must stay in the hutch.
33:58And the fastest wins.
34:00Your time starts on the whistle.
34:02Is one bop one point?
34:0463 points are on my head.
34:06There'll be other heads.
34:08So, if you get me one, that'll do it.
34:10Oh!
34:11Seems easy, then.
34:12APPLAUSE
34:17Well, looks like we're off.
34:18This is pretty straightforward.
34:19Bop this, er...
34:20This clown on the head.
34:21Yep, bit of fun.
34:22Bit of fun.
34:23Let's go.
34:24Let's go.
34:25A marauding Maisie.
34:26A savage Sanjeev.
34:27And a rampaging Rhys.
34:28Bop till they drop.
34:30OK.
34:31So, I've got to try and bop your head and save foodstuffs.
34:34Oh, no.
34:35What are these?
34:36Oh, I see.
34:39Bread.
34:40Five points, that one.
34:41OK.
34:43Apples.
34:44One.
34:45Oh, right.
34:46OK.
34:48That's Greg.
34:49Mm.
34:50So, you've got minus ten.
34:51What?
34:52Oh, rice.
34:53Oh, ten points.
34:54Bread.
34:56Still minus ten.
34:57I got him.
34:59Minus ten.
35:00I got him.
35:01I can't register the bop.
35:02Minus ten.
35:04Now, listen.
35:05I can't register any of these bops.
35:06Why?
35:07All the information's on the task.
35:11Fuck.
35:13Chocolate sauce!
35:14Right.
35:15Pears.
35:17Pasta.
35:18Apples.
35:19Couscous.
35:20Lovely.
35:22An orange.
35:24Peanuts.
35:25Need a food.
35:26A...
35:27A...
35:28A...
35:29A...
35:30A...
35:31Lamb stew!
35:33Fishes!
35:34Fishes!
35:36This is going to take great forever.
35:38Yeah, you're on 21 points.
35:40Er...
35:41You're using the guitar now.
35:46Lettuce!
35:48Oh, there's something by your waist.
35:49What?
35:50Urgh!
35:52That was a very creepy one.
35:55Oh.
35:57Can I bob that?
35:58That was a bob.
35:59Yeah, we didn't say a food.
36:00Oh!
36:02This is just annoying now.
36:03Ah!
36:04That's my shot!
36:06Broccoli!
36:07Carrot!
36:08Brotten up swash!
36:09Big Mac!
36:11Chicken supreme wrap.
36:12Well, what's happened to his head?
36:15Oh!
36:16Erm...
36:17Lollipop.
36:19Pistachios!
36:20Oh, wah!
36:22Oh, wah!
36:24Yes, you got me.
36:25So now you're on plus 72.
36:27Yeah, you've gone over now.
36:28Ah!
36:29I see!
36:33Beef.
36:3449.
36:35Pork.
36:3659.
36:37Bacon.
36:3869.
36:39You've got too many nuts.
36:40Now you need a few greggs.
36:41Er...
36:42Mashed potato.
36:43Er...
36:44Ziggy toffee pudding.
36:45Guts cheese tart.
36:4652.
36:47Beetroot.
36:4867.
36:49Port belly.
36:50Right.
36:51Carrot cake.
36:52Apple turnovers.
36:53Right.
36:54Right.
36:55We're now on 59.
36:56Bananas.
36:57OK, you're on 62 now.
36:58So you just need one of me that's worth one.
37:01Bindi.
37:02Onion barges.
37:03Tikka masala.
37:04Joe Frazee.
37:05I've stopped the clock.
37:07Er...
37:08Keys!
37:09I've stopped the clock.
37:12Oh, machine!
37:13Got it.
37:14Woo!
37:15I've stopped the clock.
37:17Oh, God.
37:23Maisie, have you ever worked at a supermarket?
37:26I wrote down that run.
37:27Broccoli.
37:28Carrot.
37:29What did not squash.
37:30Big Mac.
37:31Chicken supreme wrap.
37:32Chicken supreme wrap.
37:33It's real hard!
37:34It's...
37:35This task was so infuriating.
37:37Rhys was far more specialist.
37:39You were like a deli.
37:40There were only three things and they were shouted with such passion.
37:44Fishes!
37:47Fishes, pistachio, aubergine.
37:49Yes.
37:50I mean, the others were just as classy.
37:51Sugar snap peas or something.
37:54Fascinating little runs from you.
37:56Lovely little concentrated runs.
37:58Not much action.
37:59Then all of a sudden, beef, pork, chicken.
38:02And then there was that lovely curry run at the end.
38:06Absolute poetry.
38:07I mean, runs and curry do go together.
38:10LAUGHTER
38:11That's good.
38:12That's good.
38:13That's good.
38:14All right, then.
38:15We're nearly there.
38:16In the final part of the show, someone will triumph and then travel home on a toilet courtesy of Anya Magliano.
38:21APPLAUSE
38:31Welcome back to part four of Fastmaster.
38:33Yes, hello.
38:34And a special shout-out to any funeral directors watching today.
38:39Before the break, they were trying to get exactly 63 points by bopping Alex on the head.
38:44Let's see Anya and Phil and Mallets and me.
38:47I don't know what...
38:48I don't...
38:49I don't want to just bop you on the head.
38:51What?
38:52I don't think that is you.
38:53But, er, er, er, er, kumquat.
38:55No, it's too sorry.
38:58Fish finger.
38:59Apple crumble.
39:01Pear crumble.
39:02Lovely.
39:03Chicken.
39:04No, you missed that.
39:05Chicken.
39:06Frangipan tart.
39:08You know, if you get my head, that'll give you a lot of points.
39:10But that's not your head, they're tricking me, that's Greg's head.
39:13That's correct.
39:14CHICKS!
39:15Oh.
39:16Macar-macaroon.
39:18Why am I struggling? Wait a minute, there's another way.
39:21Dunno.
39:24Oh, look! Yes! Yes!
39:26Right.
39:29Ooh!
39:31Profiterole.
39:32Oh, good.
39:34Tiramisu! 42.
39:35Never had it.
39:38Moss pan.
39:39Moussaka.
39:40Christmas pudding.
39:41Well, you've knocked the head off that.
39:42I got it!
39:43You're on 62. You need one more point.
39:45One more.
39:46You're now on 58 points.
39:48OK.
39:49Poke bowl.
39:5163.
39:53Panic!
39:54And that's your time over.
39:55Yes!
39:58Ooh, there's a combo in this.
40:08Was it either of those shopping baskets that's more middle class than the other?
40:13Franchipan tart!
40:16Is that your go-to?
40:17I don't know what that is.
40:20Egg. Potatoes.
40:22Loved it.
40:23Although, oh, man, the thing that got me is your first guess.
40:26There's a...
40:27I'm sure now a fairly offensive character called Porky Pig.
40:30Do you remember Porky Pig?
40:31Oh, yeah.
40:32He had a bit of a speech impediment.
40:34And you did that at the beginning.
40:35You went...
40:40I've never had to say under pressure before.
40:42Well, shall I do the timings?
40:44I don't, yeah.
40:45Do the timings.
40:46Er, the quickest in 2 minutes 29 was Anya.
40:48Well done.
40:49That's 5 minutes 4 minutes.
40:50Yay!
40:51Yeah.
40:53Then we go Phil, 4 minutes 44.
40:55Sanjeev, 5.51.
40:56Maisie, 6.39.
40:57And far slower than everyone else.
40:59Rhys, 1 point.
41:008 minutes 45.
41:02APPLAUSE
41:03Yeah.
41:04Let's have a look at some scores.
41:05Yes.
41:06Well, in the series, it's still tight.
41:0711 points separating all five of them.
41:09Ooh!
41:10I know.
41:11Like anyone could win the series?
41:12Anyone could win the series.
41:13Ah!
41:14In this particular episode, tight.
41:16Sanjeev, you're on 15.
41:17But Anya and Phil are in the lead with 16.
41:19Ooh!
41:20APPLAUSE
41:21OK, everyone, will you please head to the stage for the final task of the show?
41:27APPLAUSE
41:28Oh!
41:29Oh!
41:30Oh, I didn't see that.
41:31I didn't see that.
41:32Who will be reading the task?
41:33That one.
41:34Maisie Adam.
41:35Avoid the taskmaster's big ball.
41:38You must stand on the circle, but you must not step on any gold.
41:41You must be facing and staring at the taskmaster's sign,
41:44at all times, and after the taskmaster releases his big ball,
41:48you may each take one step.
41:50The first person touched by the taskmaster's big ball each round is eliminated.
42:07Last player standing wins.
42:09So, after he releases his ball, right,
42:12So, after he releases his ball, we're allowed one step?
42:15Yeah, one step each round.
42:18Can we get undressed? Is that you?
42:19No! A little bit.
42:22Why do you want to get undressed?
42:24So that there's less, like, stuff to be touched.
42:26Oh, you think this is a game of millimetres, do you?
42:30LAUGHTER
42:31Sure. Alex, please take the contestants to the ball zone.
42:37This way, please.
42:39APPLAUSE
42:42You can take any spot, but you must be facing that way.
42:50Where's he swinging it from? Swinging it from here.
42:52You want to be over here, then, don't you?
42:54But you must be facing that Taskmaster sign.
42:56OK, clothes off.
42:58LAUGHTER
43:06Yeah, can we face it like this?
43:08You can't face it. Side on, that's side on.
43:11You can't take your eyes off the Taskmaster sign.
43:13Well, that's fine, then.
43:14LAUGHTER
43:16LAUGHTER
43:19LAUGHTER
43:21Here we go. Good luck.
43:22Oh, this ain't cruel.
43:24Anya, standing.
43:25LAUGHTER
43:30Go, Bill!
43:31It's loud!
43:32LAUGHTER
43:33Oh, this ain't cruel!
43:34Anya, standing.
43:35LAUGHTER
43:36LAUGHTER
43:37Oh, this ain't cruel!
43:38Anya, standing.
43:40LAUGHTER
43:41LAUGHTER
43:42LAUGHTER
43:43LAUGHTER
43:44LAUGHTER
43:45LAUGHTER
43:46LAUGHTER
43:47LAUGHTER
43:48LAUGHTER
43:49LAUGHTER
43:50Phil, please go and sit in the elimination room.
44:05Oh, come on.
44:06I mean...
44:07That is heroic!
44:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:09So, Phil is eliminated.
44:11OK.
44:12Right.
44:12Remember, you're looking at the Taskmaster sign, please.
44:16Yeah, you can dodge and weave, but you must be standing up.
44:19Good luck, everyone. Round two.
44:21Ready?
44:21Yeah.
44:22Yeah!
44:23LAUGHTER
44:24LAUGHTER
44:26Oh, that's a step from Anya.
44:27Ooh!
44:28Lovely...
44:29Ooh!
44:30Oh, lovely.
44:31Ooh!
44:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:34Reece Shepard is on.
44:36APPLAUSE
44:40Reece is eliminated.
44:41Hand me back the golden ball.
44:43OK.
44:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:47And I'm about to release the ball.
44:49Oh, my word.
44:50LAUGHTER
44:51Behold my ungodly strength!
44:53AHHHHH!
44:55LAUGHTER
44:57LAUGHTER
44:58One step. OK, that's a step from everyone except for Anya.
45:02Lovely. Lovely.
45:03Maisie still has hers.
45:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:06Sanjeev is out and pleased.
45:09Bring me back my ball.
45:10LAUGHTER
45:11LAUGHTER
45:12It's horrible, isn't it?
45:14This is it.
45:15BUZZER
45:16BUZZER
45:17BUZZER
45:18BUZZER
45:19BUZZER
45:20Ready.
45:21The strength is unholy!
45:23AHHHHH!
45:24LAUGHTER
45:26Oh, what an angle.
45:27One step. Ooh, lovely.
45:29Maisie still has hers.
45:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:32Oh, it's another step!
45:34We've lost Anya!
45:35We've lost Anya!
45:36Maisie is a winner!
45:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:41Let's all go down and we'll work out the final score!
45:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:48Oh, that was electric!
45:51Obviously, we saw the finalists were Anya and Maisie,
45:55but the five points went to Maisie in the end!
45:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:59For standing still.
46:01Well, it means that, with 20 points today,
46:05our winner is, at that end of the seats,
46:07it's Anya Magliano!
46:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:09And your wins!
46:11Please go up to relish in your things to ride or rip!
46:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:18So, what have we learnt today?
46:23Well, this is a stressful world, guys.
46:25It's full of technology, industry and noise.
46:28It's important to get away from it all.
46:30Head to the glorious English countryside.
46:33Be at one with nature.
46:35And just let the wildlife speak to you.
46:40Oh!
46:41Oh!
46:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:43For now, let's applaud our winner on the loo.
46:50It's Anya Magliano!
46:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:13END
47:22APPLAUSE
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