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Taskmaster UK S20E10 (2025)

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Transcript
00:00Oh, no!
00:05Hello?
00:13Hey!
00:18Nothing's ever straightforward in this stupid house.
00:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:33Hello!
00:34And welcome to the Taskmaster Grand Final!
00:43Now, there are some that say I'm struggling to write introductions
00:46after 20 series, and to those people, I say this...
00:49I've got a brain for business and a body for sin.
00:52I give out the points to decide who will win.
00:54I'm the Taskmaster, this show's magistrate.
00:56I'm inconsistent because of my swollen prostate.
01:00LAUGHTER
01:03Who dared to enter my realm of tasks?
01:05Three northerners, a Gen Z and the Sanjeev of Basques.
01:08I'll give them all names, I'll give them all hope.
01:10But my allegiance, as ever, remains with the Pope.
01:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:16So, for the last time, please welcome our five would-be champions.
01:21Anya Magliano!
01:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:25Maisie Adelaide!
01:27Phil Ellis!
01:29Reece Sheer-Smith!
01:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:32And Sanjeev Bhaskar!
01:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:36And next to me, a man who recently confided in me in private
01:40that he likes women who fart.
01:44Fart!
01:48IT'S...
01:50A gladock!
01:53gem película
01:54APPLAUSE
01:55We know it so well, Greg, don't we?
01:57We do.
01:58Let's find out how well you know me, Greg,
01:59with a little quiz. Do you want a little quiz?
02:01Ooh, is this your chat section?
02:02What? What colour is my hair, Greg?
02:04It's all pepper pot ginger.
02:06Correct. What colour are my teeth, Greg?
02:08They're sort of an off-white,
02:10apart from one which is black and folded in on itself.
02:13LAUGHTER
02:14Correct. And what colour are my eyes, Greg?
02:18Mmm... Blue?
02:20No.
02:23They're brown.
02:25You can have a look if you want.
02:26Oh, God!
02:28LAUGHTER
02:32You've painted brown eyes on your lids, that's it?
02:34And that's the springboard for the grand final?
02:37It's the grand final!
02:41OK, what's the prize test category that we've saved for the final?
02:45Well, the only one it could be, Greg,
02:47it has grand final written all over it,
02:49as each of them has brought in their very best tube.
02:54LAUGHTER
02:56Five important grand final points for the best tube
02:59and five actual tubes for the episode winner.
03:01Shut up, Alex. Here we go.
03:03All right, then.
03:05Phil.
03:07Hi.
03:08Before we go any further, I would like to say,
03:11you...shouldn't grow your hair long.
03:13LAUGHTER
03:16Because there's some glamorous pirates in this row,
03:18but you look like a man who'd try and sell me meat out of a bag.
03:21LAUGHTER
03:23What tube have you brought in?
03:24Is it a good tube?
03:26It's a good old tube of lube.
03:28Um...
03:29Oh, my God!
03:30LAUGHTER
03:31I found it in the park.
03:32LAUGHTER
03:34I told you that's where we left it.
03:36LAUGHTER
03:38Yeah.
03:39Yeah.
03:40This is why it's the best tube,
03:42because you know what kind of situation you're in with lube.
03:45If you're using it to get in something, it's a good day.
03:48If...
03:49LAUGHTER
03:51If you're using it to get out of something,
03:54it's a bad day.
03:55Bad day, yeah.
03:56LAUGHTER
03:57I think I've got everything I need to know.
03:59LAUGHTER
04:00Macy.
04:01Erm, I've brought my favourite tube of pasta.
04:03If you've just brought a tube of pasta in,
04:05then, against all odds,
04:07Phil's not getting one more.
04:08No, no, no.
04:09LAUGHTER
04:10I've made a tube...
04:11But, like, I've made it into a tube.
04:13Let's have a look.
04:14As in the tube.
04:15With little pasta wheels.
04:17LAUGHTER
04:18APPLAUSE
04:19That's good, isn't it?
04:21I know what you're thinking, you're going,
04:23Macy, it still looks just a bit like pasta,
04:25which is why I painted it to look like the tube.
04:28Here we go.
04:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
04:31It's good.
04:32It's good.
04:33I've got nothing sarcastic to say.
04:35I like the tube of the tube.
04:37Rhys.
04:38So, I brought in a test tube
04:40with the umbilical cord of a werewolf.
04:43Here it is.
04:44LAUGHTER
04:46You bought that?
04:49Yep.
04:50From somebody who told you
04:51it was the umbilical cord of a werewolf?
04:52Yep.
04:53Yeah.
04:54I knew it wasn't,
04:56but I...
04:57It was a display made lovingly
04:59by someone that crafts this sort of thing.
05:02I thought some bloke up north
05:03had licked a twig that put it in a test tube
05:05and licked it at you for 500 quid.
05:08Yeah.
05:09I've still got my umbilical cord.
05:11Shut up.
05:12LAUGHTER
05:13It's still...
05:14It's still attached.
05:15I've still...
05:16Are you eating?
05:17LAUGHTER
05:18I quite often feed myself through it.
05:21You don't need to use a mouth.
05:22Yeah.
05:23Anya, hello.
05:24I've brought in also a test tube,
05:26but I've brought in a test tube that's filled with DNA.
05:30It's DNA that I've harvested myself.
05:33Alex, perhaps you could show the photo of me.
05:35Yes, this is Anya harvesting DNA.
05:37Oh!
05:38You've found a little hair, haven't you, Anya?
05:40Yeah, I don't know if you recognise that jacket, Greg.
05:43LAUGHTER
05:44Oh, no.
05:46LAUGHTER
05:47I thought it would be good to finally get some closure
05:49on everything that's been going on.
05:51So I sent off your DNA, alongside some of my DNA,
05:55to the lab.
05:56Yeah.
05:57And we just got some very interesting results.
05:58Here are the DNA results.
05:59The child there, Anya Magliano.
06:01If we zoom in, we can see what they think.
06:03LAUGHTER
06:05That's hot. That is hot.
06:07Hello, Daddy!
06:10LAUGHTER
06:11Well, that's genuinely unsettling.
06:13Yeah.
06:14Congratulations.
06:16We'll talk about Christmas later.
06:18LAUGHTER
06:19Sanjeev.
06:20OK, well, this is my best tube.
06:22This is a tube that contains stories, history,
06:26but also warnings, danger.
06:28It's extraordinary.
06:30It is a tube, like...
06:32And it's of my DNA.
06:34Yeah.
06:35Here we are.
06:36I know what it is, I guess, as soon as you start talking.
06:38For the third time in the series.
06:39Yeah.
06:40Yes, it's a tube.
06:41There it is!
06:42LAUGHTER
06:43Once again.
06:44Why is this piss better than your previous pisses?
06:47LAUGHTER
06:49It's fresher.
06:51LAUGHTER
06:52OK.
06:53OK.
06:54Tell me some points, Greg.
06:55I'm very fond of Phil, but the idea that he's last minute
06:59grabbed a tube-a-loop.
07:00Half a tube-a-loop.
07:01I can't give him more than one.
07:03I'm sort of disgusted by the werewolf,
07:05but I like the story behind it.
07:08I'm used to Sanjeev's urine now,
07:10so the novelty's worn off a little bit,
07:12but I'm going to give them three points,
07:14both the werewolf umbilical cord and Sanjeev's urine.
07:17Wow.
07:18Now, I think this will reflect very badly on me.
07:22Please put a tube of pasta above your daughter.
07:25LAUGHTER
07:27Greg, you've done that for 27 years.
07:29LAUGHTER
07:30I don't know why.
07:31I am going to give...
07:33LAUGHTER
07:34I'm going to give my daughter four points.
07:36OK.
07:37And I'm going to give a woman who's made a tube out of pasta.
07:40Five.
07:41Well done, Maisie Adam.
07:42Five points.
07:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
07:47All right, let's get going.
07:48Let's get to the task.
07:49Well, what better way to begin
07:51than with the final team task of the series
07:54and a good old cup of tea or two.
07:56Or 14.
08:08Hi.
08:09Hello.
08:10Hi.
08:11Hey!
08:12Hi.
08:13Fancy meeting you here.
08:14Hello.
08:15What are you doing?
08:16Hi, Rhys.
08:17What do you want?
08:18I want one of you to turn left into the living room
08:20and one of you right into the kitchen.
08:23Bothered?
08:24I'll go in here.
08:25I like a kitchen.
08:27You don't have to.
08:28That's the wrong answer in this day and age.
08:29Oh, yes.
08:30Yeah.
08:31Do you want to swap it?
08:32Do you want it just so you don't get an article about you?
08:33Yeah.
08:34Fair enough.
08:35Yeah, well, I don't know.
08:36Does anyone feel comfortable being on their own?
08:38I've spent my life on my own.
08:40I'm happy with that decision made.
08:42Let's go in here.
08:43OK.
08:44Right, good luck.
08:45Good luck.
08:52Cups.
08:53Tea?
08:54Tea cups?
08:55Mm-hmm.
08:56Oh, no.
08:57I think I've got more responsibility in this.
08:59I'm so nervous about letting Rhys down.
09:01WHISTLE BLOWS
09:03OK.
09:04Make exactly the same-looking drinks as your team-mate's drinks.
09:08Your team-mate must make exactly the same-looking drinks as your drinks.
09:12Your entire team may only open two doors.
09:16May only open two doors.
09:18What does that mean?
09:20Most similar-looking drinks wins.
09:22You have 15 minutes.
09:24Your time starts now.
09:25The time starts now.
09:26Wish I hadn't gone on my own.
09:28Terrible decision.
09:31APPLAUSE
09:37I'm really afraid of letting me down.
09:39Often, Maisie's very worried about keeping you happy.
09:43She's quite frightened of me.
09:45Cos you're fucking terrified!
09:48Let's get going.
09:49Let's start with a team of two.
09:50They've been a true power couple so far.
09:52Let's see how they got on in their final team task.
09:59Maisie?
10:00Hello.
10:01So, have you got the same task as me?
10:03It's about making the same drink.
10:04Yeah.
10:05Have you got seven drinks in front of you?
10:08Yes, I have.
10:09Of different colours?
10:10No.
10:11Oh.
10:12Right, OK.
10:13So, you've got the drinks probably, and I have to make the drinks to make them like your drinks.
10:18Yes.
10:19OK, so start with the first drink on the left.
10:21Like a cranberry juice.
10:22OK, so I'm going to look in the fridge for some cranberry juice.
10:27I'm opening it.
10:28Yeah.
10:29You've opened one door.
10:30Right, look for any of these things, Rhys.
10:32Yeah.
10:33Cranberry juice, tomato soup, anything that's like a bright green.
10:38None of those things you've said so far are in this fridge.
10:41Then it's a cup of coffee, but it's frothy, so I think that's like a latte with milk.
10:45Where am I going to get that from out of a cupboard?
10:47Well, I don't know.
10:48Just skip that one.
10:49I'm a bit worried about leaving the fridge door open so long, things will start going off.
10:53Oh, I've set him off now.
10:54You've got, like, teriyaki sauce.
10:58Would that be like a brown drink?
11:00Yeah, that could be the last one.
11:01Bob that in number seven.
11:02OK, I'm doing it now.
11:03Keep the doors open.
11:04Yeah.
11:05Yeah, it's teriyaki.
11:06I've just smelt it.
11:07Oh, well, good.
11:08One done.
11:09So, I've got tomato ketchup.
11:11Yes, take that out.
11:12Oh, look, here we are.
11:14Can you hear me?
11:16Yes.
11:17Yes, I can hear you.
11:18Hello, Rhys.
11:19Can't hear you.
11:20Masey talking.
11:21Erm, what?
11:22Masey talking.
11:23Oh, right.
11:24There you are.
11:25I've got you.
11:26Right.
11:27I reckon go to a cupboard.
11:28Oh, God.
11:29And we're looking for cranberry sauce to mount a soup.
11:32Right.
11:33But the problem is, though, Masey, there's about three cupboards and I don't know which one to pick.
11:36It's literally a guessing game.
11:38I'm just going to open one that looks like it's got things in it.
11:40I'm opening it now.
11:41This could be the end of the game.
11:43It's the end of the game.
11:45What's in there?
11:47I've opened the wrong one, Masey, and there's nothing in it apart from plates.
11:50So, now what we've got is some teriyaki sauce, tomato sauce and some milk.
11:54Is there anything that looks like tomato sauce and we start with that?
11:58Right.
11:59Number two, go 50% tomato sauce, mix it with a load of water from the sink.
12:05And then I reckon, number one, put a tiny bit of ketchup in and then the rest, water.
12:10Because it's sort of a clearish red.
12:12Oh!
12:13Number five is a cup of tea.
12:15Right, I'll try and do a tea.
12:17What are you making your tea with, Rhys?
12:19Very accurate, some milk.
12:20It's going to look like tea.
12:22What's number three?
12:24Tea that has just had the bag in but nothing else.
12:28Can you do that?
12:30Ah!
12:31Right, you've found the tea with you now.
12:33I can do that.
12:34There was tea all along.
12:38It's an excellent one.
12:40It's like a fluffy coffee.
12:41Maybe just spit in it.
12:43I think my spit's bubbly.
12:45You've got one minute left.
12:46OK, right, so number four, I'll neck the green and then it's just both empty cups, isn't it?
12:51Do that, that's brilliant.
12:54I thought we'd get it.
12:59That's your timer.
13:01Are you all right, Maisie?
13:03Yeah.
13:04I think it was cucumber.
13:06And you know what?
13:07Have we done OK?
13:08Have we?
13:09That's not bad, actually.
13:10Oh, Rhys, we've smashed it!
13:12I think that's good!
13:13That's bagging!
13:14So which cupboard did you open?
13:15Oh, it was this one.
13:17Imagine at this point...
13:18But you can see through here!
13:19Well, this is what I thought.
13:20It was a trick.
13:21Thank you, team.
13:22I do feel a bit queasy.
13:23I bet you do.
13:24APPLAUSE
13:25See?
13:26She's no doormat, really, is she?
13:27No, not at all.
13:28Although we did have yet another...
13:29Oh, I've set him off now.
13:30It's like some abusive, like, terrible ogre.
13:31You are, though.
13:32It is funny.
13:33Like, you open the fridge, which Maisie can't see, and you went...
13:35Oh, none of the things you've said are in this fridge!
13:37LAUGHTER
13:38It's like some abusive, like, terrible ogre.
13:40You are, though.
13:41It is funny.
13:42Like, you open the fridge, which Maisie can't see, and you went...
13:44Oh, none of the things you've said are in this fridge!
13:45LAUGHTER
13:52Like, it's her fault!
13:54It's frustration.
13:56It comes out in different ways.
13:57Yeah.
13:58I mean, they were pretty good, though.
13:59Yeah.
14:00As far as I could see.
14:01Well, considering they opened the fridge and are covered for the plate.
14:04LAUGHTER
14:05That's a hell of a start to this task.
14:07We're off for a break now, so that means you are too.
14:10We'll see you in a minute.
14:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
14:24Welcome back to Taskmaster.
14:25It's the final, and we're in the middle of a final team task.
14:28Whoa!
14:29You've got to be kidding me!
14:30Yes, the...
14:31LAUGHTER
14:32The task is to make exactly the same-looking drinks in the kitchen
14:36as the drinks in the living room.
14:38The entire team may only open two doors.
14:41Most similar-looking drinks wins.
14:43Now, for the final time, it's Anya, Phil and Sanjeev.
14:47Phil?
14:48Bear with me.
14:50The first one has no flavour.
14:52But it's warm.
14:53It's about the same heat as urine.
14:55Fresh.
14:56LAUGHTER
14:57And wait a minute.
14:59I could just open this door, couldn't I?
15:01I think one of our doors might have to be the fridge door.
15:04Oh, that's...
15:06I was...
15:07Yeah, I'm really glad I didn't just open the cupboard behind me now.
15:10Yeah, don't do anything.
15:12Oh, dear.
15:14Erm...
15:15I'm scared.
15:16I don't like leaving him unattended.
15:18LAUGHTER
15:20Oh, wait a minute.
15:21Why don't you just bring them here,
15:23and I'll just pour mine into yours?
15:25What, if we pour exactly half?
15:27Yeah, we can do that.
15:28That's easy, then, isn't it?
15:30Ha-ha!
15:31Suckers!
15:32LAUGHTER
15:37Looks like he's having some trouble.
15:41One door open.
15:42We're opening our second door.
15:44Yeah.
15:45You may open no more doors.
15:46How much time have we got left, Alex?
15:47Seven minutes.
15:48Seven minutes.
15:49Ooh!
15:50Well...
15:51What about that?
15:52Oh, yeah, that's good.
15:53Oh, good.
15:54Well, let's see how much is in each one with that.
15:56You've got a little bit of dribble on your rim there.
15:58You want to be predominantly.
16:00On the urine.
16:01See what I mean?
16:02It's the same warmth, isn't it?
16:03Oh, it is, actually.
16:04It's like when you give a medical sample.
16:05Yeah, yeah.
16:06I got a text yesterday asking for a store sample.
16:08And, er...
16:09No, just stop there.
16:10It's just a good text.
16:11We'll leave it at that.
16:12That's really good.
16:13What we've done is amazing.
16:15There's a minute left, but you can leave at any point.
16:17OK.
16:18Are you just doing the washing up now?
16:20Oh, yeah.
16:21That's nice.
16:22Ten seconds left.
16:23Task is over.
16:24Excellent.
16:25Thank you, team.
16:27Thank you, everyone.
16:28Go team!
16:32Before the beat he started, I wrote down, not to be negative,
16:35but I predict Phil will be shit at this.
16:37And then, within seconds, I just said,
16:42I don't like leaving him unattended.
16:45I don't.
16:46But he had a brilliant idea.
16:49Yeah.
16:50Just whip across, pour them in.
16:53It was just a work of genius.
16:55Are you sure that was me?
16:56It was you.
16:57I think so.
16:58We didn't see that coming as well.
16:59I didn't see that as a possible solution.
17:00Very frustrating.
17:01And by the end of the task, it was just a lovely family dynamic.
17:04Yeah.
17:05Dad did the washing up while the two kids talked about wee and poo.
17:08LAUGHTER
17:09I really feel like you're the father who left me
17:12and Sanjeev is the father who raised me.
17:14LAUGHTER
17:15Really good.
17:19Both teams were great, but obviously the team of three...
17:22Yeah.
17:23...knocked it out of the park.
17:25Although, I would say nearly all of them were fantastic.
17:28Oh, fair.
17:29Oh.
17:30Oh.
17:31What?
17:32Well, I couldn't help but notice...
17:34Oh, don't do this.
17:35This.
17:36What?
17:37Um...
17:38Straw, straw.
17:40There must be a straw here.
17:41LAUGHTER
17:43Suddenly, this daddy's looking a bit more attractive.
17:55LAUGHTER
17:56Oh, my God!
17:58Was it just me?
17:59Oh, just you, yeah.
18:00No-one else opened a door, Sanjeev.
18:01Oh, nice.
18:02Yeah.
18:03I told you to watch him.
18:04You know he doesn't know what's going on half the time.
18:06LAUGHTER
18:07So, what happens now?
18:08He's disqualified, I'm afraid.
18:10All of us?
18:11Team of three, yeah.
18:13Oh...
18:14Yes, Rhys!
18:15Yes.
18:16It's a tragedy, yeah, and it's really unfortunate,
18:19but accidents happen and that's the nature of the team task.
18:22Sanjeev doesn't look that bothered.
18:24LAUGHTER
18:26Couldn't give a shit.
18:28LAUGHTER
18:29You have an OBE, some of us need this.
18:32LAUGHTER
18:33This is going to go on my gravestone.
18:35LAUGHTER
18:36There you go.
18:37So, the scores are zero for the team of three and five for the team of two?
18:40I'm afraid so.
18:41Well done, Maisie.
18:42Well done, Maurice.
18:43Sorry.
18:44Sorry.
18:45Can't we help the scoreboard, please?
18:47Yes.
18:48Well, in terms of the series, there's only one point separating the top two players.
18:52Oh!
18:53And all five are still fairly close.
18:55It's exciting.
18:56Oh.
18:57In this episode, Maisie's in the league with ten!
18:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
19:01Right.
19:02Next, it's time to make this final suck in a good way.
19:09LAUGHTER
19:10Hello.
19:11Maisie.
19:12Great to see you.
19:13Nice to see you.
19:14We get on well, don't we?
19:16For legal reasons.
19:17LAUGHTER
19:18Ooh!
19:19Ooh!
19:20Why haven't I got an envelope with some mics on it?
19:23Run out?
19:24Right.
19:25Drink almost all the apple juice.
19:26You must not touch the cup and the cup must not move.
19:28Fastest wins, your time starts now.
19:30Pythagoras, hands off.
19:31That's a clue.
19:32Now, if my geography serves me correctly, Pythagoras is a pretty cool island, very rich in iron ore.
19:33I think we're going to smash it.
19:34Oh!
19:35Ooh!
19:36Ooh!
19:37Ooh!
19:38Why haven't I got an envelope with some mics on it?
19:39Run out?
19:40Right.
19:41Drink almost all the apple juice.
19:42You must not touch the cup and the cup must not move.
19:45Fastest wins, your time starts now.
19:48Pythagoras, hands off.
19:50That's a clue.
19:51Now, if my geography serves me correctly, Pythagoras is a pretty cool island, very rich in iron ore.
20:00I think we're going to smash it.
20:07Well, I mean, I won't pretend that I got it, but it's a clue, right? The mug is a clue.
20:13Hmm, yes, the Pythagoras mug.
20:15First up, to slurp nearly all the apple juice, it's my favourite musical artists, Enya and Jay-Z.
20:22Here we go.
20:26Well, I don't think I should lick it up like a cat.
20:30If I need a straw, essentially, I can move.
20:34Is there a straw anywhere?
20:36Oh.
20:37Underneath, there's a straw in there.
20:40Is that a straw under there?
20:42I've not looked.
20:43Yeah.
20:44Yeah.
20:45Damn it.
20:46Damn it.
20:47Damn it.
20:48Damn it.
20:50Damn it.
20:51Kill.
20:56I can't do it.
20:57I'll do it.
21:04Oh!
21:08Ah!
21:09I've got apple in me here.
21:13Oh, it's really in there.
21:24It's gone. No, it's still there.
21:26I don't think you've drunk almost all of it yet.
21:28Oh, you want me to slick it out of the litter tray?
21:30This is degrading now.
21:37Hang on, I can touch that though, can't I?
21:40Let's not touch the cup on the customer.
21:42Ah, yeah, fine.
21:44Oh, there we go.
21:46It does feel like I'm drinking cat litter. Weird.
21:51Stop the clock.
21:52Yeah.
21:55Bossed it.
21:57Bit in the ear, but no problem.
21:59Most of it in the mouth.
22:00Yeah.
22:03Oh, yeah.
22:04Listen to that.
22:05You know, not a lot of dignity there, but they seem fast.
22:12They didn't really use the Pythagoras clue.
22:15Well, look, it's a confusing task, there's no doubt about that.
22:18What that thing is, is a special Pythagoras cup.
22:20If you fill it over a certain level, it suddenly siphons down,
22:23and if you suck from the bottom, it suddenly plunges forth.
22:26But you lapped it up like cats.
22:28I wonder if Phil's going to make this easy.
22:31OK, now, as advised by several professional people,
22:33we have put Phil all by himself.
22:35Here we go.
22:36Oh, God.
22:37Right, so that's not a cup.
22:38That is a cup.
22:41I think that's apple juice.
22:42OK.
22:43I haven't got any sense of smell.
22:44I got hit by a football when I was nine.
22:50What's this?
22:51Why is that there?
22:55That's nothing!
22:56That was a mislead!
22:57I don't think...
22:58I don't think I'm missing something.
23:00Can I leave the room?
23:02All the information's on the table.
23:03Fastest wins.
23:04Oh, I could have just left the room.
23:06OK.
23:07What are you going to get?
23:08Well, weirdly, I was thinking tissue,
23:09and then soak it up and squirt it in my mouth,
23:11but maybe just a straw.
23:12Well, the clock's ticking.
23:15Is there any straws?
23:16Why is there never anything you need?
23:22I'm certainly smashed this.
23:24I panicked.
23:25Don't know why I've got the funnel.
23:26What is that?
23:27This looks like it's used to give a cow a child.
23:31I've never seen it before.
23:35Oh.
23:42Almost all.
23:43That's almost.
23:44What does it have to do with him?
23:46Have you finished?
23:48Almost.
23:49I've stuck the clock.
23:50Well done, Phil.
23:51I've started watching a deleted scene from Oliver sometimes.
23:58Just this urchin looking round the posh house not understanding anything.
24:03I've had so many insights over the last few weeks into your childhood.
24:06You can't smell because you've got hit in the head by a football.
24:09Yeah.
24:10Can you not smell at all?
24:11No.
24:12OK.
24:13Though I smell five points a foot.
24:17Did he get it down him?
24:18The juice?
24:19Yes, he drank nearly all of it.
24:20The time so far.
24:21Anya, 1 minute 39.
24:22Maisie, 2 minutes 13.
24:23Phil, 14 minutes 55.
24:27OK.
24:28That's halfway through this grand final.
24:31Be brave.
24:32Be strong.
24:33Be strong.
24:34Be strong.
24:35Be strong.
24:36Be strong.
24:46Hello.
24:47Oh, hello, everyone.
24:50Welcome to the third part of our final and a task involving the consumption of apple juice.
24:57Ooh, yeah.
24:58Big time, seriously.
24:59And we end with two Goliaths from the world of celebrity juice drinking Rhys and Sanjeev.
25:05OK.
25:06So, well, the theory of type Pythagoras, I think, is something about displacement, isn't it?
25:12If I pour water into there, more diluted apple juice will pour out and I could start trying to drink it.
25:19OK.
25:27What?
25:29It's gone.
25:30Have you drunk almost all of it?
25:31Almost all, but there's a bit left.
25:32I've stopped the clock.
25:33I guess I didn't need to do the thing of leaning under it and sucking from the fountain, did I?
25:35No.
25:36But I did.
25:37APPLAUSE
25:38APPLAUSE
25:39But I did.
25:40APPLAUSE
25:41APPLAUSE
25:42APPLAUSE
25:43APPLAUSE
25:44APPLAUSE
25:45APPLAUSE
25:46APPLAUSE
25:47APPLAUSE
25:48APPLAUSE
25:49APPLAUSE
25:50There you go.
25:51There you go.
25:52Is that all my saw?
25:53It's all my saw.
25:54It's all my saw.
25:55Do you know what just happened?
25:56It's Bernoulli's fair room.
25:57It's Bernoulli's fair room.
25:58There you go.
25:59Is that all my saw?
26:00It's all my saw.
26:01It's all my saw.
26:02It's all my saw.
26:03Do you know what just happened?
26:04It's Bernoulli's fair room.
26:05It's about displacement and water pressure.
26:06Yeah.
26:07How are we spelling Bernoulli?
26:08However you like.
26:09It's exactly how it sounds.
26:10Bernoulli's theorem.
26:11Erm, can I have a wee now?
26:12Yeah.
26:13No, I need one to.
26:14Excellent.
26:15APPLAUSE
26:16APPLAUSE
26:18APPLAUSE
26:19There you go.
26:20Is that all my saw?
26:21It's all my saw.
26:22Do you know what just happened?
26:23It's Bernoulli's theorem.
26:25It's about displacement and water pressure.
26:28Yeah.
26:29How are we spelling Bernoulli?
26:30However you like.
26:31That's exactly how it sounds.
26:32Bernoulli's theorem.
26:34Erm, can I have a wee now?
26:36Yeah.
26:37No, I need one to.
26:38Excellent.
26:39APPLAUSE
26:45Count countless television appearances.
26:48What a career.
26:49And now this.
26:50Doctor Displacement.
26:54That was textbooks.
26:55Sanjeev was completely correct.
26:57It is the Bernoulli principle.
26:59I'd never heard of it.
27:00He had.
27:02You must be more excited about this victory than...
27:05No, I don't know if I've opened a bloody cupboard door.
27:07LAUGHTER
27:11I'll tell you now, you're safe.
27:12Am I?
27:13Yeah.
27:14I'm still feeling bad about the cupboard door for these guys.
27:17Rhys, again, knew about displacement.
27:20Yeah.
27:21And then, as soon as the stream started, complete breakdown.
27:24LAUGHTER
27:25I just went straight mouth to stream and was...
27:28I really enjoyed it, though.
27:30Yeah.
27:31LAUGHTER
27:32The robot had malfunctioned.
27:34Exactly.
27:35I was just glad that I did think to drink it from the bowl.
27:37So good.
27:38Yeah.
27:39Well, we know who's won.
27:40So, Phil, yes, one point.
27:41You were 15 minutes, almost.
27:42Maisie, 2 minutes 13.
27:43Rhys, you were 2 minutes 10.
27:45Just three seconds quick and amazing.
27:47Oh, great.
27:48Anya, we know, 1 minute 39.
27:49Sanjeev...
27:5045 seconds!
27:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
27:54Doctor Displacement has struck!
27:58Aye!
27:59Aye!
28:02I can barely bring myself to ask, but please...
28:05May we have the last ask?
28:07It's sad, but it's also exciting because...
28:10And get ready, this one involves the word...
28:13Whence.
28:14Whence.
28:15Ooh.
28:16You like that?
28:31Yeah.
28:32It's just floating there.
28:33Yes.
28:39What?
28:40Oh, this is good.
28:41Make water squirt out of you in a surprising way.
28:45In 15 minutes, Alex will guess whence the water will squirt.
28:51Whence.
28:52Whence.
28:53Whence.
28:54I think I know what whence means, but I'm not sure.
28:56For every incorrect guess, you may squirt him for one second
29:02at the end of the task.
29:04Longest time squirting, Alex wins.
29:07That shouldn't even be a sentence.
29:09Your time starts now.
29:12Magic.
29:13What's going on with you?
29:14Ever since you've got your new laptop, it's all...
29:15It's so fast.
29:16It's all weird, sexy stuff, isn't it?
29:17I've seen so much recently.
29:18All right, let's see Alex using a show to get his kicks.
29:23Yes, please.
29:24We're starting with Anya's pipes and Reece's pieces.
29:28I can see pipes.
29:29I can see tubes.
29:31I'm going to make my first guess.
29:32I think the water is going to come out of the chest tube.
29:36Wrong.
29:37That's one second of squirting.
29:38Did you enjoy chest tube?
29:39Yes.
29:40I think the water is going to come out of the chest tube.
29:41Wrong.
29:42That's one second of squirting.
29:44Did you enjoy chest tube?
29:46No.
29:47I don't know.
29:48No.
29:49No.
29:50No.
29:51No.
29:52No.
29:53I can see pipes.
29:54I can see tubes.
29:55I'm going to make my first guess.
29:56And the water is going to come out of the chest tube.
29:59Wrong?
30:00That's one second of squirting.
30:02Did you enjoy chest tube?
30:05Pfft!
30:17How are you doing? I'm all right. How are you doing?
30:19I'm good, yeah.
30:21I think the water is going to squirt out of the mouth tube.
30:25OK. Rhys? Yeah?
30:27Are you going to squirt me from your nose?
30:32No.
30:33Out of the elbow pipe?
30:35No.
30:36Are you going to squirt me from your groin?
30:38Well, let's see, shall we?
30:44No. Nothing coming?
30:46Actually, it was a bit, but no.
30:48I'm going with right trouser leg tube, please.
30:51Negative.
30:52I can't help but notice there is a hose going out of this and over there.
30:56Yes.
30:57You know what? I'm going to follow the hose.
30:59OK, yeah. Good. Follow the hose.
31:01It goes in there.
31:02It goes up.
31:03It goes...
31:07I'm not sure you can dismantle me.
31:10Put that back in.
31:11That might be part of something.
31:14Right, so the hose is a red herring.
31:17Well, it could be.
31:18Well, it is. I've just pulled it out.
31:20This is good. The table's upturned.
31:24I'll give you all the information.
31:28The time has started.
31:31I'm going round the back.
31:32There's still some more on the front that you haven't seen, even.
31:35I am going round the back.
31:36OK.
31:37Yeah.
31:40Ah, yeah. Hello.
31:43Anya, is the water going to squirt out of the back of your head?
31:46Yes.
31:47Well, it's going to do that for eight seconds.
31:49Yeah.
31:50So, well done you.
31:52Is it going to come out of your foot?
31:55Um...
31:57You've got it.
31:59Yeah.
32:00Thank you very much.
32:05Another terrifying character.
32:07Yes.
32:08To add.
32:10Well, it was all about the ruses and the pipes that led to nothing.
32:13Yeah.
32:14That was what you had to say.
32:15And yet, for the vast majority of it, I just couldn't take my eyes off the nose.
32:18It was quite dominant, wasn't it?
32:20Yeah.
32:21How many seconds of squirting did he gain himself?
32:23It took 14 guesses to find the tube and eight guesses, of course,
32:27with Anya after I asked permission to go round the back.
32:30Yes.
32:32Making something that wasn't creepy so creepy.
32:36Who's next?
32:37It's now time for the cheesy guys.
32:39Phil, Adelphia, Ellis and Maisie Edan.
32:50Oh.
32:51Hello.
32:53I see.
32:57Well, let's start with this guy.
32:59What's that one?
33:00The, er...
33:01Little yellow thigh one.
33:02Yellow thigh?
33:03Mm-hmm.
33:04No.
33:09Hi.
33:10Hi, Phil.
33:11You all right?
33:12It's funny when you walk into a situation.
33:14I like it.
33:15I don't.
33:16Quite a lot of, er, ends of hoses.
33:19Well, you never know, do you?
33:21You never know with a hose.
33:23It looks like that's where it goes, the hose.
33:26The hose goes where my rosemary grows.
33:29Is that where your rosemary grows?
33:31Yeah, it tastes rank.
33:33Head tube.
33:34Beat the head tube.
33:37No dice, baby!
33:41Let's go for a fish.
33:42A fish?
33:43This fish.
33:44My sternum fish?
33:45No.
33:46Penguin.
33:47On the head?
33:48Yes.
33:49No.
33:50Right shoulder.
33:51Wrong shoulder, baby!
33:52Er, this one.
33:53That's another guess.
33:54I'm just going to check around the back.
33:56Oh, dear.
33:57Oh, dear.
33:58Oh, dear.
33:59Oh, dear.
34:00I'd like to put my hand in there.
34:01I'd like you to.
34:02Right wrist.
34:03No.
34:04Left wrist.
34:05No.
34:06You're welcome, Matt.
34:07Crack on.
34:08I just want to see if it's going up or down.
34:09I don't know if you're allowed.
34:11That was my penis.
34:13Right elbow.
34:14No.
34:15Left elbow.
34:16No.
34:17Racking them seconds up, Alex.
34:1825.
34:1939.
34:2040.
34:2141.
34:2228.
34:2329.
34:24I mean, I can see that some of these aren't going anywhere.
34:2530.
34:2631.
34:2732.
34:2833.
34:2934.
34:30Quick trip round the back.
34:31Hi.
34:32Maybe, are you going to squirt me out of your arse?
34:44Yeah.
34:45OK.
34:4621 seconds of squirting out of your arse.
34:4821 seconds.
34:49Yeah.
34:50I can see a crease in your left boot.
34:52Oh, well, I hope we've got a winner.
34:55So.
34:5645 seconds.
34:5745 seconds.
34:58I don't think I feel comfortable wasting that much water.
35:00APPLAUSE
35:01There's been a few tasks in this series where Maisie looked incredibly pleased with herself
35:11and smug, and it has always ended in disaster.
35:14But that time, well deserved.
35:16Yeah.
35:17Pleased with herself throughout.
35:19And then, delighted that she's going to squirt you from her arse.
35:23And as for the porcupine poet of squirting...
35:28LAUGHTER
35:29..a similar tactic to cover himself in stuff.
35:32Yeah.
35:33..and some lovely messages for the kids there.
35:35Are you going to put your hand in there?
35:37I'd like to.
35:38I'd like you to.
35:39That's consent.
35:40LAUGHTER
35:41Just one more small part left.
35:48Who will squirt Alex for the longest?
35:50Who will win the trophy?
35:51And who will take home the last?
35:53And I imagine the strongest of Sanjeev's urine samples.
35:57Stay tuned.
35:58APPLAUSE
35:59Hello!
36:00Here we are then.
36:01The last part of our final and our 20th adventure together,
36:17my little friend.
36:21LAUGHTER
36:22We got it together, didn't we, mate?
36:26We got it together.
36:27Finally.
36:32LAUGHTER
36:33Here we go then.
36:34Just one more person for me to guess from whence the water will come.
36:38And it is Sanjeev Baskar like you've never seen him before.
36:41Hi, Sanjeev.
36:57OK.
36:58Sanjeev, my first guess, are you going to squirt me from your mouth?
37:04Are you going to squirt me out of your eyes?
37:08Are you going to squirt me out of your bosoms?
37:12From your tummy?
37:14Can I see your hands?
37:16Right, well...
37:18OK, so you've got lots of water balloons strapped to your chest.
37:21Are you going to squirt me from your chest area?
37:24From your legs?
37:26From your behind?
37:28Armpits?
37:29Flanks?
37:30Flanks?
37:31Flanks?
37:34Flanks?
37:35No.
37:36No?
37:37Would you mind opening up a little bit more for me?
37:43Right.
37:48Are you going to squirt me from your crotch?
37:50Feet.
37:51Ears.
37:52Hands.
37:53Knees.
37:54Neck.
37:55Shins.
37:56Nape.
37:57From your hips.
37:58Top of the head.
37:59Lower back.
38:00Shoulders.
38:01Tummy button.
38:02Nostrils.
38:03Are you going to squirt me?
38:05From your body?
38:06From here to here?
38:08From this side of you?
38:10Right.
38:11OK.
38:12Elbow.
38:13You're going to squirt me from your elbow?
38:14Whoo.
38:15OK.
38:16Oh.
38:17Flanks?
38:18Flanks?
38:19I would add another 20 minutes.
38:20Onto that from your sheer desperation.
38:21Another character that will endure, I'm sure.
38:22Who was that man of mystery?
38:23Flanks?
38:24Flanks?
38:25You were so upset by me suggesting flanks.
38:26I just think generally they're irritated by you this series.
38:37Yeah.
38:38You're the standard chance.
38:39Yeah, there were 29 guesses.
38:41Who was that man of mystery?
38:44Flanks. Flanks?
38:46You were so upset by me suggesting flanks.
38:48I just think, generally, they're irritated by you this series.
38:53You're the standard chance.
38:54Yeah, there were 29 guesses,
38:56so it's another nearly half a minute of squirting I'm going to have in a second.
38:59Points-wise, Anya, just the one point.
39:01It's two to Rhys with his 14 questions,
39:04three to Maisie, four to Sanjeev,
39:06but Phil with his 45 questions.
39:08Five points!
39:11Here they are, then. Your classes.
39:13Series 20.
39:14Simply squirting.
39:17Water on, please.
39:36Squirt.
39:41This is the best son of Hudya.
39:47Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, twelve, twelve, twelve, twelve, twelve, twelve, twelve.
39:51I think we're aiming for the face. I'm trying to open my eyes to look, and what...
39:53No, no...
39:55We're aiming for the face. I'm trying to open my eyes, looking at what...
39:57Six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, eleven, eleven.
40:18Seems to be aiming for the face. I'm trying to open my eyes to look at my...
40:21No, you're not allowed.
40:23Three seconds left.
40:27I'm happy with that.
40:29Mm.
40:30Thank you very much, Sanjeev.
40:31Thank you for squirting me for 29 seconds.
40:33Triumph.
40:37Did you piss yourself?
40:38I didn't piss myself. I don't know.
40:40I'm 46.
40:43Finally!
40:44It's another one off the bucket list.
40:46Now all I'm going to do is marry a swan.
40:49I need lent!
40:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:54It's difficult to know who enjoyed it the most, doesn't it, really?
40:58All my dreams came true.
41:00The targeted crotch squirt from Rhys was good.
41:04But facially, the person who enjoyed it most was you.
41:08LAUGHTER
41:11Looked like a 12-year-old.
41:13LAUGHTER
41:14She was so accurate.
41:16All so great.
41:17So satisfied.
41:18Mm.
41:19Series-wise, there is still just one point in it at the top.
41:22Oh!
41:23What?!
41:24Oh!
41:25OK, everyone.
41:26I'm afraid it's time for you all to make your way to the stage
41:29for the final task of the series!
41:36What a lovely collection of final pirates.
41:39Who's going to read the task out?
41:41I think Rhys is going to read the final task.
41:43A correspondence!
41:45LAUGHTER
41:47Respond to the taskmaster correctly.
41:50When he says wibble, you say bibble.
41:53When he says bibble, you say bam.
41:56When he says bam, you say wibble, bibble, bam.
42:00If you dither or err, you are eliminated.
42:04Last player standing wins.
42:08LAUGHTER
42:09So Greg will look at one of you and that's who he's talking to.
42:13You must respond correctly and quickly.
42:15If there's too much of a pause, you will be eliminated.
42:18If you make a mistake, you're out.
42:19You have to sit on the elimination bench over there.
42:21Wibble, bam.
42:22I will blow the whistle if there's a mistake.
42:24Wibble, bibble, bam.
42:25Here we go.
42:26Wibble, bibble.
42:29Bibble.
42:30Bam.
42:32Bam.
42:33Wibble, bibble, bam.
42:34Wibble.
42:35Bam.
42:36Wahat.
42:44It's always bibble after wibble.
42:45Now the whistle.
42:46Wibble.
42:47Bibble.
42:48Bam.
42:49Wibble, bibble, bam.
42:50Bam.
42:51Wibble, bibble, bam.
42:52Bibble.
42:53Bam.
42:54Wibble.
42:55Bibble.
42:56Bam.
42:57Wibble.
42:58B chloride.
42:59B glare.
43:00Bibble. Bam. Wibble-bibble-bam.
43:03Bibble. B-bam.
43:05LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
43:13What a terrible day for feminism.
43:17Silence!
43:18Wenches on the benches.
43:22Are you ready? Yeah.
43:24Bam. Wibble-bibble-bam.
43:26Bibble. Bam.
43:27Bibble. Bam.
43:29Bam.
43:30Wibble-bibble-bam.
43:31Bibble.
43:32Wibble.
43:33Wait a second.
43:34We've lost Rhys.
43:35He said bibble, he said wibble.
43:36That's all right, surely?
43:37Oh, God.
43:38I protest, you're magnificent!
43:42This is the final.
43:43Here we go.
43:44Bam.
43:45Wibble-bibble-bam.
43:46Bibble.
43:47Bam.
43:48Wibble.
43:49Bibble.
43:50Bibble.
43:51Bam.
43:52Wibble-bibble-bam.
43:53Bibble.
43:54Bam.
43:55Bam.
43:56Wibble-bibble-bam.
43:57Bibble.
43:58Bibble.
43:59Bibble.
44:00Bam.
44:01Bam.
44:02Wibble-bibble-bam.
44:03Bumble.
44:04Wibble.
44:05Wibble.
44:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:11You soft-haired lovely. Congratulations.
44:15We'll add that to the final scores. Come down and join me!
44:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:23What a climax to the series.
44:26I was genuinely shaking afterwards.
44:28Well done. Five points, of course, to Phil Ellis.
44:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:33And so, we'll deal with the episode first, I imagine.
44:36Of course. It means that in joint second, with 16 points,
44:39it's Rhys and Sanjee!
44:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:43For the winner, with 17 points, it's Maisie Adam!
44:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:51Maisie Adam wins the episode!
44:53Please show up to the stage to be triumphant, will you, Duke?
44:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:03Hello, my friends.
45:09The crowning of a new Taskmaster champion is a historic event,
45:13which we celebrate just twice a year.
45:16That's right, quite often.
45:18But it remains of great significance.
45:21And so, now, I call upon my administrator, Alex.
45:24Just how close was this?
45:26I must tell you that in fifth place,
45:28but just a handful of points away from the others,
45:31one of my all-time heroes, it's Sanjeev Bhaskar,
45:34with 149 points!
45:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:38Just five points ahead of Sanjeev, with 148 points.
45:43Another of my heroes, it's Rhys Shearsmith!
45:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:47And only a few points above that, with 151 points.
45:52It's Phil Ellis!
45:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:55And Maisie Adam!
45:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:00And Annie Magliaro!
46:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:09It's never happened before.
46:13It is a series tie-break.
46:16A three-way.
46:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:19Yes, it's the most important tie-break in the world.
46:24We want you to think back and tell us
46:27how many letter T's are there
46:30in the portrait of me and Greg in the living room.
46:33Oh! Are you fucking joking?
46:34Come on, Marley!
46:36Closest wins.
46:37You're going to have some cards to write down your answers.
46:39What do you mean, T's?
46:41The letter T.
46:42It's actually written down?
46:44There were letter T's on the picture
46:46the whole time you were there.
46:48They were hidden within the painting.
46:50And what... roughly how many is it?
46:52LAUGHTER
46:53Write down a number, nice and clear,
46:55and then keep it to yourself.
47:00Philip, how many T's were hidden in the painting?
47:02Ten.
47:03Maisie?
47:04Five.
47:05Anya?
47:06Sixteen.
47:07Here is the picture.
47:08You can see a T here.
47:09Here.
47:10Here.
47:11Here.
47:12On my dungarees.
47:13Oh!
47:14Here.
47:15On the doorbell.
47:16And that is all the teaser of 40s.
47:17We have a winner!
47:18Oh, yeah!
47:19Oh!
47:20Wow!
47:21The new Taskmaster champion is Maisie Adam!
47:26One!
47:27One!
47:28Five!
47:29One!
47:30Two!
47:32One!
47:35One!
47:48Two!
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