- 6 hours ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Rattling on, they just well up inside of you and burst out.
00:00:04The harder you try, the harder it all gets.
00:00:07Until you just can't shake it off anymore.
00:00:09It's like you're carrying around this enormous burden.
00:00:13Sometimes your problems get so big, you can't let it go.
00:00:18And then what do you say to yourself?
00:00:20Jesus!
00:00:21Yes, you can turn to religion or family or friends, but in the end, you're still in agony.
00:00:27Maybe that's why I want to become a nurse.
00:00:29I'm just so in tune with everyone's emotions.
00:00:33I guess I've always had a nap for being a nurse.
00:01:04Help! Help! Am I dead?
00:01:08You're not dead. You've been taken against your will.
00:01:12Kobe? Who is that?
00:01:19Dr. Phil? What the hell's going on?
00:01:22I don't know. I was doing a show on teens with abandonment issues and suddenly I woke up here.
00:01:29Man, those kids are gonna be pissed.
00:01:32Hello, gentlemen. You don't know me, but I know you.
00:01:37You both play games with other people for a living.
00:01:40But today, you play a game for your lives.
00:01:43Right now, you are both breathing in a deadly nerve gas.
00:01:46You have 120 seconds to reach the antidote or you die.
00:01:52Oh my god, are we gonna get out of here?
00:01:53Let the game begin.
00:01:58There!
00:02:05Hit the metal arm with something.
00:02:08There!
00:02:16There!
00:02:21Damn it!
00:02:23Sorry.
00:02:25Shaquille, I'm not angry at you, but we are one minute away from death.
00:02:31Just shut out the no voice. Own your success.
00:02:43Just make the damn basket!
00:02:48What the hell was that for?
00:02:50You hurt my feelings.
00:02:52Your feelings?
00:02:54To hell with your feelings!
00:02:56Everybody with their feelings!
00:02:57I'm obese!
00:02:59My kids are bad!
00:03:00Help me!
00:03:00Help me!
00:03:01Just shut up!
00:03:02Why can't I fix anyone?
00:03:04I'm so dumb and worthless!
00:03:06Mama was right!
00:03:07Mama was right!
00:03:08Hey, hey, hey!
00:03:09Pull yourself together!
00:03:11You're a brilliant doctor.
00:03:13Not exactly.
00:03:15What?
00:03:16I just tell people to get real.
00:03:18I'm not even a psychologist.
00:03:21I'm an electrician.
00:03:24I failed you, Shaq.
00:03:25I failed you.
00:03:36Booyah!
00:03:4130 seconds left!
00:03:46This will never work!
00:03:48Of course.
00:03:48He wants us to cut through our feet!
00:03:52You go first.
00:03:54Bullshit!
00:03:57Yeah.
00:03:58You're probably not man enough.
00:04:00I guess your mama was right.
00:04:05Never!
00:04:06Who's your coward now, mama?
00:04:09Candy from a baby.
00:04:15Oh, my God!
00:04:16I did it!
00:04:17We're saved!
00:04:18What?
00:04:18What?
00:04:19What's wrong?
00:04:20Wrong foot!
00:04:25Mother...
00:04:26Fuck!
00:04:31Yet, across the gulf of space,
00:04:34a terrible evil prepared to unleash itself
00:04:38upon an unsuspecting human race.
00:04:54You're up early.
00:04:56Come back to bed.
00:04:58Come on.
00:05:02Please?
00:05:04You're up early.
00:05:25Hello?
00:05:26Hello?
00:05:29Tom!
00:05:32I know you missed me.
00:05:34Oh, I missed you too.
00:05:36God, you look great.
00:05:37I wanted to come by to thank you for setting up that job interview for me.
00:05:41This...
00:05:42isn't a good time.
00:05:43I just need something to keep me busy now that Cody's out of the house.
00:05:46He just turned 11.
00:05:47I enrolled in military school last year.
00:05:50It's supposed to be a great program.
00:05:52Boy.
00:05:53Kids, you know, they just grow up so fast.
00:05:56So I heard that you were dating again.
00:05:58Knowing you, I bet she's brainy.
00:06:00Quick, Sonic!
00:06:0290 points!
00:06:03Woo!
00:06:17You know, your work with the elderly really inspired me, Tom.
00:06:21I mean, they have so much to teach us, and we have so much to teach them.
00:06:26You know, ultimately, they really are just like us, only... older.
00:06:32Anyway, I'm hoping that a new career will help keep my mind off of bad memories.
00:06:39I'm sure you have memories, too.
00:06:41He's the kind of person you never forget.
00:06:43Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night wondering where he is, and then I remember.
00:06:48I know you miss him, too, but it's really been hardest on me.
00:06:52I'm rattling on, but if you don't vent your emotions, they just well up inside you and burst out.
00:06:58The harder you try, the harder it all gets.
00:07:01Until you just can't shake it off anymore.
00:07:04It's like you're carrying around this enormous burden.
00:07:07Sometimes your problems get so big, you can't rest the whole thing.
00:07:13And then what do you say to yourself?
00:07:14Jesus!
00:07:15Yes, you can turn to religion or family or friends, but anyway, you're still in agony.
00:07:22That's why I want to become a nurse.
00:07:24I'm just so in tune with everyone's emotions.
00:07:28I guess I've always had a nap for being a nurse.
00:07:30If you ask them, you probably won't do a nap.
00:07:32I'm just so in tune with you to be a nurse.
00:07:34No.
00:07:41No, no.
00:07:43No.
00:07:44No, no.
00:07:44No.
00:07:46No.
00:07:46No.
00:07:59No!
00:08:00Ryan, go home. You've been working 16 straight hours.
00:08:03Come on, I need the overtime.
00:08:05Don't worry, okay?
00:08:07What?
00:08:12Ryan! What are you doing?
00:08:18Dad, what's going on?
00:08:19Oh, yeah.
00:08:22Oh, not the monkeys.
00:08:36Damn it, Tom. What the hell happened back here?
00:08:39Come on, man. That could have happened anymore.
00:08:41Well, you know what your problem is?
00:08:43As soon as the going gets tough, you get rough.
00:08:47You're right. I quit.
00:08:49You don't get it, do you?
00:08:50You could be the best.
00:08:52If only you'd see things through.
00:08:54I don't know.
00:08:55Give me a break.
00:08:57What can I tell you, Ed?
00:08:58I guess I'm no good.
00:09:00Maybe I just don't have what it takes.
00:09:01What are you talking about?
00:09:03You secured that tricky H-500 unit, didn't you?
00:09:05Oh, come on. That was easy.
00:09:15Tom Ryan.
00:09:17Haven't seen you in a while.
00:09:19Well, I spend every waking minute of my life operating a crane.
00:09:22God, I hate my job.
00:09:28Yo, Tom!
00:09:29Tom! Where you been?
00:09:31My holly.
00:09:32Yo, CJ, this is my boy Tom Ryan, man.
00:09:35We used to work together down at the docks.
00:09:36The height, the height, the height!
00:09:37Hey, Tom, how's the family, man?
00:09:40You remember Marilyn?
00:09:41Your lovely wife. How could I forget?
00:09:43She dumped me.
00:09:44Yeah, I know.
00:09:45I slept with her a few times.
00:09:47What?
00:09:47Me too.
00:09:48You guys talking about Marilyn?
00:09:49Mm-hmm.
00:09:49Great lay.
00:09:50Oh, my pops introduced me to her.
00:09:53Ever since the divorce, it's like my life has no purpose.
00:09:56Half the time I walk around feeling like a zombie.
00:09:57Yo, don't joke about zombies.
00:09:59That shit there, that's real.
00:10:00Yo, you know the Shonda on 120th Street?
00:10:02Yeah.
00:10:02She told me that she heard a zombie going through her trash the other day.
00:10:06The next morning, she turned up missing.
00:10:08Uh...
00:10:09What?
00:10:09Okay, back up.
00:10:10How the hell do you turn up missing?
00:10:12Because nobody knows where you are when they realize you ain't there.
00:10:15Guys, I'm trying to have to...
00:10:16Okay, whoa, whoa.
00:10:16So you telling me that you can appear and disappear at the same time?
00:10:20No, man.
00:10:20You can't appear and disappear at the same time.
00:10:22This bitch ain't David Copperfield.
00:10:24Uh, guys.
00:10:24Mm.
00:10:25No, no, no, no, no.
00:10:26But you can't be going from one place and show up somewhere else entirely.
00:10:29So when you turn up, you're never missing.
00:10:31And when you're missing, you never turn up.
00:10:34Unless you're a zombie.
00:10:36Damn!
00:10:37Hey, that's some plausible shit right there.
00:10:39You should blog about that.
00:10:40I'm going to put that on my space.
00:10:41You're doing this!
00:10:44Hey, Tom, you know what you need to do, man?
00:10:46You need to get away from all this.
00:10:48You need to take a break.
00:10:50Oh, I don't know.
00:10:51No, no.
00:10:52He's right, man.
00:10:53You just come fishing with us one weekend.
00:10:54Me and Hallie, we found this great spot last summer.
00:10:56Yeah.
00:10:58Great spot.
00:11:07Hey.
00:11:08You cold?
00:11:11A little bit.
00:11:21Hey.
00:11:22Hmm?
00:11:22Look, man.
00:11:23I'm not on a down low or nothing, all right?
00:11:26Oh, that's cool, man.
00:11:28Me neither.
00:11:32Hey, what you doing?
00:11:33Relax, man.
00:11:35I'm just trying to grab some nuts.
00:11:59I've been alone with you inside my mind.
00:12:06And in my dreams, I've kissed your lips a thousand times.
00:12:14I sometimes see you pass outside my door.
00:12:22Hello.
00:12:28I can see it in your eyes.
00:12:32I can see it in your smile.
00:12:36You're all I ever wanted
00:12:38And my arms are open wide
00:12:42Cause you know just what to say
00:12:47And you know just what to do
00:12:50Ooh, baby!
00:12:52And I want to tell you so much
00:12:58I love you
00:13:06Yeah, we caught a lot of fish
00:13:09Yeah, black cod
00:13:14Damn it
00:13:16Tom, I don't want you thinking that
00:13:19Hopefully this doesn't affect your opinion
00:13:20Why would you do that and that's my first time meeting him?
00:13:36Late again, Tom
00:13:38Hey, Marilyn
00:13:39I thought you were moving
00:13:40Oh, well, it's all I can afford right now
00:13:42You took everything in the divorce except my name
00:13:44No, actually the judge granted me that yesterday
00:13:46You're now officially known as Horace P. McTitties
00:13:51I'm sure your new husband is pleased
00:13:53He's a good man
00:13:54A provider unlike you
00:13:56He never cared about our children
00:13:58Hey, that's not true, I'm a great dad
00:14:01Kids!
00:14:03Dad?
00:14:10Hi, Dad
00:14:11Hey, Rachel
00:14:12How's it going there, princess?
00:14:17It's locked
00:14:21Hey, let me help you with that muffin
00:14:23I should do that
00:14:24No, it's no problem
00:14:24Oh, I honestly don't mind
00:14:25Oh, neither do I?
00:14:26Fine, you take it
00:14:28Well, I'll see you on Tuesday
00:14:30Hey, Marilyn
00:14:33It's a good look for you
00:14:34Being pregnant
00:14:37I'm not pregnant
00:14:40I didn't mean to
00:14:41I'm sorry
00:14:41If you want to make things right
00:14:43Maybe you should start with our kids
00:14:45You're right
00:14:46Those kids are all I have in this world
00:14:48Well, the kids
00:14:50In my car
00:14:51I
00:14:52Ow
00:14:56Mr. Koji
00:14:58Looks like we need someone new for the Norris account
00:15:00Again?
00:15:01Every day we don't have someone looking after this woman
00:15:04I lose big money
00:15:05What happened to the last girl?
00:15:06Yoko
00:15:07Take a look
00:15:10Holy shit
00:15:11Someone put a towel under her or something
00:15:13Christ
00:15:13Christ
00:15:13It's the Norris house, Mr. Koji
00:15:16They say it's cursed
00:15:17There's no such thing as a curse
00:15:20Don't be ridiculous
00:15:21Those are just old wise tales
00:15:23I need someone there today or I'm in big trouble
00:15:30Hello? I'm Cindy Campbell
00:15:33I'm looking for a job in home healthcare
00:15:36I was recommended by a family friend but unfortunately he committed
00:15:39Oh my god
00:15:41Don't mind her
00:15:42She slipped and fall
00:15:44You're my new best employee
00:15:45Ready to start today?
00:15:47Oh, it's so fast
00:15:48I don't know
00:15:49Oh, trust me
00:15:50You're gonna love this job
00:15:52Come on, I'll show you
00:15:52We can be there in 10 minutes
00:16:06Come!
00:16:07Come!
00:16:19Mr. Koji?
00:16:24Hello?
00:16:36Ah!
00:16:37Oh my god!
00:16:38Oh my god!
00:16:39Oh my god!
00:16:39Oh, let's get you up on the bed.
00:16:43Okay, come on.
00:16:44Here we go.
00:16:46I'm sorry.
00:16:47There you are.
00:16:47I see you met Mrs. Norris.
00:16:49She can't have tonic.
00:16:50Yes, I was just trying to get her back up on the bed.
00:16:52I was afraid that she would be hurt.
00:16:54You know, when I came in, I just saw her lying here on the floor.
00:16:57Of course, of course.
00:16:58I helped.
00:16:58You got her legs.
00:16:59I grabbed her.
00:17:00Mrs. Norris, I'm here to take care of you.
00:17:04Yes, I'm very happy to meet you, too.
00:17:07See, this job's perfect for you.
00:17:09Let me show you rest of house.
00:17:11Right this way.
00:17:13So, what do you think?
00:17:16I don't know.
00:17:17There's something strange about this house.
00:17:21Presents.
00:17:22Presents?
00:17:23Don't be silly.
00:17:24Nothing wrong with this house.
00:17:25It's funny.
00:17:26I always dreamt I would live in a house like this with my husband.
00:17:29But I guess that's all just in the...
00:17:34Past.
00:17:35Who wants to see upstairs?
00:17:38It's a nice neighborhood.
00:17:40Closed to schools and shopping.
00:17:42The hardwood floors throughout pass almost every inspection.
00:17:45Big fat dog goes back a hundred years.
00:17:48It's a garden that needs to sign.
00:17:50Who wants to see all the cup of money.
00:17:52Great layout for meditating.
00:17:54And in here is the bathroom.
00:17:56Very big.
00:17:57Very...
00:18:00Nice.
00:18:01It is nice.
00:18:03Seems like it could be a great place to work.
00:18:05But I just can't shake this feeling of evil.
00:18:09Evil?
00:18:09That crazy talk.
00:18:15Do you know anything about the people who used to live here?
00:18:18People?
00:18:18No.
00:18:19Nothing about people.
00:18:20I don't remember anything.
00:18:22Mr. Koji, did something strange happen in this house?
00:18:25Strange?
00:18:26Don't be silly.
00:18:27This house is perfectly normal.
00:18:29I'm sure you're right.
00:18:30And yet, it's as if someone's watching us.
00:18:36Mr. Koji?
00:18:37That was me.
00:18:39Just excited about hiring you.
00:18:41Very, very enthusiastic.
00:18:55Mr. Koji, is there something you're not telling me about this?
00:19:08I was...
00:19:10dirty.
00:19:13So...
00:19:15The job?
00:19:18I'll take it.
00:19:24Get your glove.
00:19:25I'm in the backyard.
00:19:27Robbie, come on.
00:19:28Let's go.
00:19:30That's not how you're going to get through to him.
00:19:33Look, Rach, this is guy stuff.
00:19:35You got to trust me.
00:19:38All right, Robbie.
00:19:39You ready for the Tom Ryan Express?
00:19:51Yeah.
00:19:52Maybe one day I can grow up to be just like you.
00:19:55All right.
00:19:56I know I let you kids down.
00:19:58But you have no idea how hard it is to be a father.
00:20:01But when you start,
00:20:03let me know.
00:20:13Are you okay?
00:20:15My eyes.
00:20:16My eyes.
00:20:22How much...
00:20:24better.
00:20:26I'm so sorry.
00:20:27That's okay.
00:20:28I've taken balls to the face before.
00:20:30Hi.
00:20:32I'm Cindy Campbell, your new neighbor.
00:20:34Oh, Tom Ryan.
00:20:36You live here all by yourself?
00:20:37Well, I'm taking care of Mrs. Norris.
00:20:40But yes, for the first time in my life, I'm on my own.
00:20:45That feeling wasn't always that way.
00:20:49No.
00:20:50You thought you'd found your soulmate.
00:20:52Yes.
00:20:54And then one day you come home
00:20:56and find your so-called soulmate
00:20:58in bed with a complete stranger.
00:20:59Well, not a complete stranger.
00:21:01Sammy Sosa.
00:21:04Sound familiar?
00:21:07No.
00:21:08Not at all.
00:21:10But I do know what it's like to be in that much pain.
00:21:13And the worst part is that you have to suffer through it.
00:21:16Alone?
00:21:17It looks like we have a lot in it.
00:21:18Common.
00:21:20We're already finishing each other's dinner.
00:21:25Sentences.
00:21:29Well, maybe all we really need is a friend.
00:21:33I'd like that.
00:21:34Well, I better get back to Mrs. Norris.
00:21:37It's time to put her catheter in.
00:21:39And then after that, I've got to scrub in between her fat folds.
00:21:42And I've got a lancer boiled.
00:21:44I've got to open her up.
00:21:52And then after that, I've got to put her clothes in a bag.
00:22:19Ah, mop up the drool.
00:22:22That's wonderful.
00:22:24I'll see you around?
00:22:25Definitely.
00:22:26Okay.
00:22:28Okay, Mrs. Norris.
00:22:30Time to dig out that duty bubble.
00:22:32I'll see you around this.
00:22:33I'll see you there.
00:22:38Bye.
00:22:40Bye.
00:22:45Bye.
00:22:52Bye.
00:22:54Bye.
00:22:57Bye.
00:23:00Bye.
00:23:05Oh, my God.
00:23:55Mrs. Norris, have you noticed anything strange
00:23:59about this house? No? Oh you're probably right. I guess I'm just being silly. Just relax. Here we go, okay.
00:24:14Oh you poor thing. You don't have to be scared. I'm here to take care of you. No, I think
00:24:22you and I are going to be wonderful friends. I do. Let's try it. Just relax.
00:24:28Let's get those ears. Okay. That's right. That feels good. Okay. You love this, don't you? Nice and warm. Feels
00:24:46good, doesn't it? Oh my god! I'm so sorry.
00:24:58What?
00:24:59Ah, ah, ah.
00:25:40Oh, my God.
00:26:00Oh, my God.
00:26:04Oh, my God!
00:26:13Robbie!
00:26:15Come on!
00:26:17Let's toss the old pigskin.
00:26:28I'm so sorry. I didn't see you there. Are you all right?
00:26:32It's okay. My throat cushioned the blow.
00:26:34Thank God. I lost my temper. My son...
00:26:38What's wrong? You look scared.
00:26:40Nothing. It's just...
00:26:43There's something going on in this house.
00:26:45Last night, I saw a face.
00:26:47Did it have a nose?
00:26:49Yes.
00:26:50That does sound like a face.
00:26:53And then there was this weird hand in the shower and this horrible thing on the stairs.
00:26:57I can't go through this all again.
00:27:00Oh, I get it. There's some other guy. You still love him, don't you?
00:27:05I wish you both the best.
00:27:06Wait! You don't understand.
00:27:10It's painful to talk about, but you deserve to know.
00:27:15I was married once.
00:27:45Get out of the way, bitch!
00:27:46Punched him.
00:27:48After 20 fights, I was undefeated.
00:27:50Only one fighter stood between me and the bell.
00:27:53You got this chick. She's nothing.
00:27:55Tiffany Stone!
00:28:02Cindy, listen. I know you're scared, but I believe in you. You can win this.
00:28:07And if I do win, George, then will you tell me what my nickname means?
00:28:10Yes. I promise.
00:28:12Okay, now, you just stick with the jab. Lead with your right. Watch your footwork.
00:28:19Let's go!
00:28:28Whoa! Whoa! You do that one more time. I'm taking a point off. You hear me?
00:28:34I got it! I got it! I got it! Dude, check it out!
00:28:44I can't take it anymore!
00:28:57And that's when I lost my cool. I made the biggest mistake of my life.
00:29:02Cindy, no!
00:29:05No!
00:29:06No!
00:29:07No!
00:29:08No!
00:29:08No!
00:29:08No!
00:29:10No!
00:29:13No!
00:29:15No!
00:29:15No!
00:29:20No!
00:29:27No!
00:29:29No!
00:29:59George!
00:30:00No!
00:30:04If I hadn't have thrown that punch, none of it would have happened.
00:30:08I blame myself for it all.
00:30:10That's why you should.
00:30:11But, Cindy, the past is the past.
00:30:15Maybe you ought to think about your future.
00:30:18If I'm ever going to love again,
00:30:20it has to be with somebody who will be there for me.
00:30:22Well, I don't have a great track record in that department.
00:30:25Just ask my son.
00:30:26I have.
00:30:27What's a cockmonger?
00:30:31That's not really important.
00:30:32What matters is I've let a lot of people down.
00:30:37I should go.
00:30:39Wait!
00:30:41Maybe I'm just not meant to be happy.
00:30:47But something about you makes me want to try.
00:30:56What's happening?
00:30:57I don't know!
00:31:02Why is the sky so dark?
00:31:04Why is the wind moving towards the storm?
00:31:08Why don't any of us have priars?
00:31:11I've never seen clouds like that before!
00:31:23You okay?
00:31:24Yeah.
00:31:25Can you believe that thunder?
00:31:26That storm is so fierce!
00:31:29I've never seen anything like it.
00:31:30I haven't either!
00:31:31Pleasured being out there!
00:31:34That last one sounded really close!
00:31:36Don't worry!
00:31:37Lightning never strikes in the same place twice!
00:31:41Where's Rachel?
00:31:42I'm with you!
00:31:43I'm with you!
00:31:43I'm with you!
00:31:44I'm with you!
00:32:00I'm with you!
00:32:10I'm with you!
00:32:10I'll go look for Robbie.
00:32:16I don't know!
00:32:17Turn in it again!
00:32:18See if it won't start!
00:32:18I don't know what's going on!
00:32:19The car's not working!
00:32:20It's just not working!
00:32:22Start!
00:32:28My arms have stopped moving!
00:32:31Why?
00:32:32How's it going, Marvin?
00:32:33I just had this car working and I was dead.
00:32:36Try changing the solenoid.
00:32:37Good idea!
00:32:39Death to America!
00:32:42Ah, shit!
00:32:43Ah!
00:32:46Ah!
00:32:48Ah!
00:32:50Ah!
00:32:51Ah!
00:32:53Ah!
00:32:58Ah!
00:33:00Ah!
00:33:01Ah...
00:33:03Ah...
00:33:05Ah!
00:33:06Ah!
00:33:09Ah!
00:33:26Come on, come on, come on.
00:33:55Oh
00:33:57Beautiful outfit
00:34:21Oh
00:34:22Hello
00:34:25Haro
00:34:28Hibachi Benihana Teriyaki Nagasaki Okinawa Hokkaido Yokohama
00:34:35Karate Judo Suno Samurai
00:34:37Nissan, Honda, Mitsubishi, Subaru
00:34:42Harikari Tsunami Kamakaze Pansai
00:34:45Yamaha, Nikon, Kassio, Iwa
00:34:50Minota, Hitachi, Seiko, Toshiba
00:34:55Buddha, Shitake Kimono
00:34:57Tempura, Sushi, Sashimi
00:35:03Puchitsu
00:35:10I can't read that
00:35:14That's better
00:35:24Okay
00:35:25Robby, Dad's home
00:35:30What is it? What's going on?
00:35:33Grab
00:35:46Dad
00:35:47Talk to me
00:35:47What's happening?
00:35:48There's no time to explain
00:35:49Alien attack!
00:35:51Well, actually that about sums it up
00:35:54Fill us up with food
00:35:55We're leaving this house in 60 seconds
00:36:01My ass
00:36:06Penis
00:36:07We gotta go
00:36:14Sidney
00:36:15Tom
00:36:17Where are you going?
00:36:19Someone's out there
00:36:19Someone who knows a way to stop all of this
00:36:22How you wouldn't understand
00:36:23I understand
00:36:25Come with me
00:36:26I'd like to, but my kids
00:36:28Guess this is goodbye
00:36:30When this is all over, promise me that you'll find me
00:36:32That you'll never forget me
00:36:34That you won't give up until I'm back in your arms
00:36:37Alive?
00:36:39Yes
00:36:40I promise
00:36:45Goodbye, Sidney
00:36:46Goodbye, Sidney
00:36:51Hey, wait!
00:36:53The solenoid
00:36:55For luck
00:37:08Marvin
00:37:09You put a solenoid in?
00:37:11Yeah, I got one from that crackhead over there
00:37:13Get in
00:37:13Why shouldn't he?
00:37:14Because you're my responsibility, Mal
00:37:16And like it or not
00:37:17I'm all you've got
00:37:22Hey!
00:37:23Hey!
00:37:25Hey!
00:37:26What are you doing?
00:37:27Get in the car, Marvin
00:37:28Come on, Tom
00:37:29Stop joking around
00:37:30Get in the car, Marvin
00:37:31Or you're gonna die
00:37:34Okay, fine
00:37:38Wait for me to...
00:37:40Still locked
00:37:41Why are you reaching for the handle at the same time?
00:37:43What do you mean reach for at the same time?
00:37:44On three
00:37:45You counting now?
00:37:46One, two, three
00:37:47Open the door
00:37:48Okay, on three
00:37:48One, two, three
00:37:52Don't do that
00:37:53Still locked
00:37:53Now you're just trying to annoy me
00:37:54I'm going on three
00:37:55One, two
00:37:56Don't count when I count
00:37:57I have a problem with that
00:37:58What's the matter with you?
00:37:59Turn your mouth sideways
00:38:00If you look at me when you're counting
00:38:01I'll lose count
00:38:01Wait, were you crazy?
00:38:02One, two
00:38:04Three
00:38:05Don't do it at the same time
00:38:06You said three
00:38:07You go on four
00:38:08Four
00:38:08Can you count?
00:38:09So on your three or on my four?
00:38:10There's only one three?
00:38:11I'm trying to get in the car
00:38:12Well then you do it on four
00:38:13I count it to three
00:38:14You said three, so...
00:38:15Wait, so are you doing it on three
00:38:16Or am I doing it on two?
00:38:17Sick!
00:38:17I heard three
00:38:18I know three
00:38:19Now it's four
00:38:20Why would you go on four?
00:38:22You gave me four at first
00:38:22And you stole my four
00:38:23You stole my four, Tom
00:38:26I gotta wait on you now, huh?
00:38:27You want the black man to wait again?
00:38:28You can do whatever you want
00:38:29Well that's what I've been doing the whole time
00:38:31Why would you do that?
00:38:32Why would you reach for it
00:38:33When I say three?
00:38:34That's what all this is about
00:38:35Okay, do I still go on four?
00:38:36When I say three
00:38:37You don't have to worry about four
00:38:39You got all the time in the world
00:38:40You can go home
00:38:41You can watch television
00:38:42And come back
00:38:43And then open the door
00:38:44Five
00:38:45One
00:38:45No, no one
00:38:47I'm out
00:38:47No thank you
00:38:48Or I'll take the next one
00:38:49Does that work for you?
00:38:52Jesus
00:38:52Attitude
00:38:55Seriously?
00:38:56I'd rather be dead
00:38:57Stop
00:39:00A girl had a pet duck
00:39:02She fed and took care of her pet duck
00:39:04But one day the duck got loose
00:39:07And ran away from the girl
00:39:09The duck ran down the road
00:39:11And kept running
00:39:12Until he found a pond
00:39:14Mr. President
00:39:15We've just received word
00:39:17The planet is under attack by aliens
00:39:19Uh-huh, okay
00:39:21You see?
00:39:23Sir
00:39:23They've already wiped out some of our cities
00:39:26If nothing is done
00:39:27They'll kill us all
00:39:28I see
00:39:29Well, I'll handle that in a minute
00:39:31But right now I need to find out
00:39:32What's happening with the duck
00:39:34Sir
00:39:35With each passing moment
00:39:37More people will die
00:39:38The people are gonna die regardless
00:39:40But this duck still has a fighting chance
00:39:44I've read the story before, Mr. President
00:39:47The duck dies
00:39:51Oh, my God
00:39:53That's horrible
00:39:54Mr. President, the aliens were under attack
00:39:57You mean right now all of these children's parents could be dead?
00:40:02Kids
00:40:03Kids
00:40:04Kids
00:40:04Please
00:40:05It's not as bad as it seems
00:40:07They didn't die alone
00:40:08I'm sure they died with all the other people you love
00:40:12Even Santa Claus?
00:40:14No, of course, Trump
00:40:15There's no such thing as Santa Claus
00:40:21Just like the truth fairy
00:40:22Completely made up
00:40:24This good one never existed
00:40:27The female orgasm
00:40:31Wait and see what happens when you try to find her
00:40:34What's wrong?
00:40:35Are your parents all getting divorces?
00:40:38I can give them a little advice if you like
00:40:40Oh, I forgot
00:40:41They're all dead
00:40:43Now, let's go on to another story
00:40:46Rumpelphorskin
00:40:46Still concerned
00:40:47We have to get you to the white house
00:40:50I guess don't get kids
00:40:51Remind me to sign that abortion bill
00:40:53Yes, sir
00:41:07You may leave through the forward exit doors
00:41:09Or the gaping hole in the side of the plane
00:41:11Yes, sir
00:41:12We realize you have a choice in airlines
00:41:13And we appreciate you flying with southern coast air
00:41:16Thank you
00:41:17Hello?
00:41:20Hey!
00:41:21That's mine!
00:41:23I found it!
00:41:25Cindy?
00:41:27Brenda?
00:41:28Oh my God!
00:41:30It's been so long!
00:41:32Yeah!
00:41:32Too long!
00:41:34I thought you were dead!
00:41:36Oh, I thought you were dead too
00:41:38What are you doing here?
00:41:40Were you on this plane?
00:41:41No, I'm trying to get a good story
00:41:42I'm a reporter now
00:41:43I work for the local news
00:41:45Wow, you're really doing well for yourself
00:41:47I was on assignment
00:41:48Take a look at this
00:41:51Here's Detroit
00:41:53And here's Detroit after the attack
00:41:59Oh my God
00:42:02The attack was devastating
00:42:04It's over Cindy
00:42:05Humanity has lost the war
00:42:07No, no
00:42:08There's still hope
00:42:09I have reason to believe
00:42:10That there's someone here
00:42:11That has the answers
00:42:11Maybe even a way for us to fight back
00:42:15Come on
00:42:16Make a great story
00:42:18Maybe
00:42:19But how are we supposed to get there?
00:42:21None of these cars work
00:42:23Wait
00:42:24See if this works
00:42:28Hey!
00:42:29I got the last way to call New York!
00:42:31This is our road, bitches!
00:42:39You're right Cindy
00:42:40That worked pretty well
00:42:53Look at all the injured
00:42:55It's so sad
00:42:57Big ass rat, man!
00:43:00Oh!
00:43:00The sewer took to everything
00:43:02Man, I'm gonna need a hot bath after all of that work
00:43:05What the hell happened here?
00:43:12Zombies!
00:43:13Zombies!
00:43:15Let's go!
00:43:18Don't let them fight you!
00:43:20Good news!
00:43:21They can still feel electricity!
00:43:23Grandma?
00:43:24The zombies have got my grandma!
00:43:26Die grandma!
00:43:27Die!
00:43:29Help you!
00:43:30Help you!
00:43:32The hollock?
00:43:33Look what they did to my grandmother!
00:43:39That woman raised me from birth!
00:43:50Hey!
00:43:50He's got a car!
00:43:51He's got a car!
00:43:53He's got a car!
00:43:54He's got a car!
00:43:55Pick the key!
00:43:55This isn't my car!
00:43:57I would, but I can't
00:43:57It's not my car!
00:43:58It's not my car!
00:44:00Don't worry, kids
00:44:01The doors are locked
00:44:02There's no possible way
00:44:04to kill the robot out of chocolate
00:44:05But that's just common sense
00:44:07No waiter!
00:44:10Kids!
00:44:16Why?
00:44:22Well
00:44:24Get back!
00:44:25Get back!
00:44:27Get back!
00:44:30Give me the gun!
00:44:31I'm taking the car!
00:44:33What do I do about him?
00:44:36I don't want the car!
00:44:37I just need a gun!
00:44:38No way I'm giving up the gun!
00:44:39I want the car!
00:44:41So
00:44:42You need a gun
00:44:43And you want a car?
00:44:45What do you want?
00:44:46Well, I've never owned a knife
00:44:48Okay
00:44:49Let's all switch on three
00:44:50One
00:44:52Two
00:44:52Three!
00:44:56Is this right?
00:44:58I don't think so
00:45:01Dad!
00:45:03We're taking the car!
00:45:06Yes, well
00:45:08Let's keep going
00:45:09What?
00:45:10That's it?
00:45:11You're giving up?
00:45:12Yeah, that's right
00:45:13I'm giving up
00:45:14You want a hero?
00:45:16Go find someone else!
00:45:18Why?
00:45:21Let's go
00:45:24Now, let me get this straight
00:45:26The girl hugged the duck
00:45:28And then it dies?
00:45:30Mr. President, the nation is under attack
00:45:32Get me Homer Lanscritty
00:45:34You mean Homeland Security?
00:45:37Sir!
00:45:38This woman was an eyewitness to one of the attacks
00:45:41What can you tell us?
00:45:42They're indestructible
00:45:43The clothing was burned off everyone's bodies
00:45:46There were naked people everywhere
00:45:49Were you naked?
00:45:50No
00:45:51Thank God
00:45:52Some good news at last
00:45:54Get her a souvenir
00:46:17Look out!
00:46:21Russell Crowe's got a phone!
00:46:24R. Kelly, don't be on me
00:46:27My lonely lady loves!
00:46:30Where are we?
00:46:31I'm not sure
00:46:33I think we're close
00:46:35It's supposed to be near mile 62
00:46:38Is something wrong?
00:46:39No, it's just
00:46:42I met this guy
00:46:44And I wonder if he's safe
00:46:46Oh, he would love him, Brenda
00:46:48What's his name?
00:46:49I might have already loved him
00:46:51Tom Ryan?
00:46:53Yep, did him
00:46:54Big fat Chinese guy?
00:46:56No!
00:46:57No
00:46:59But he is the kind of guy that
00:47:01I'd like to share the rest of my life with
00:47:08Cindy! Look!
00:47:18What is this place?
00:47:19I don't know
00:47:20But the boy's father's somewhere in there
00:47:22We'll have to sneak our way in
00:47:24But we're not going to blend in dressed like this
00:47:26Brenda, look!
00:47:27He's some wonderful boys
00:47:29Yes
00:47:32Oh!
00:47:33Oh my God!
00:47:34Oh my God!
00:47:39Wow!
00:47:42Oh my God!
00:47:44Because I've been whereas
00:47:45Ahem quarters
00:47:59But I'm afraid
00:48:00Well, I think you'll notice
00:48:00Who are you?
00:48:08Ezekiel, shall we have a foot race?
00:48:11No cheating.
00:48:36That's him.
00:48:38He's cute.
00:48:43Friends, friends, do not fear the noise of those of whom we do not speak.
00:48:48There is a gentle truce between our village and the creatures beyond their borders.
00:48:53Now, who would like to say grace?
00:48:58Ezekiel.
00:48:59Pee-pee.
00:49:01Pee-pee and vagina.
00:49:08Amen.
00:49:19Father?
00:49:20Holly.
00:49:22For what purpose do you interrupt the celebration of the domestic partnership of Mordecai and Haas?
00:49:31The guards caught two outsiders near the cabin.
00:49:41Who are you?
00:49:43I must speak with you.
00:49:44I was sent by your son.
00:49:45Don't be ridiculous.
00:49:47I have no son.
00:49:49That's not true.
00:49:50I know who you are.
00:49:51I've seen the pictures.
00:49:52I was young.
00:49:53I needed the work.
00:49:55No.
00:49:55In Mrs. Norris' house.
00:49:57I didn't know whose house it was.
00:49:59They drugged me.
00:50:00Never mind that.
00:50:01You're outsiders.
00:50:04The council will decide your fates.
00:50:12The question of the outsiders is now at hand.
00:50:16But first, Martha, have you some tidings?
00:50:20Nathaniel Winston and Alice Smith have informed me of their intentions.
00:50:24He intends to have sex with her as soon as possible.
00:50:27She intends to put up a mild fight and then give in.
00:50:38Amos, something does trouble you?
00:50:42We now have a majority of those who wish to say I'm instead of I am.
00:50:48I'm for that.
00:50:50I am against it.
00:50:52Silence!
00:50:54We have more important matters to discuss.
00:50:57I fear that the presence of the outsiders will attract those of whom we do not speak.
00:51:04Have you talked about those of whom we do not speak?
00:51:07Have you not spoken of that about which we do not talk?
00:51:11Do not speak of that of about which we talk of not speaking.
00:51:18About.
00:51:28Elder Hale, we should welcome the outsiders among us.
00:51:32Jeremiah, ought not your tongue be held?
00:51:35I am sorry, Elder Hale.
00:51:38But sometimes my tongue wiggles beyond my ability to control it.
00:51:45This is a problem with which I have had much experience.
00:51:48Maybe I could help him in a room in which there are no others.
00:51:53Or you can all watch. I don't give a shit.
00:51:55I don't give a shit.
00:52:02After this, how about you take your thing of which we do not speak,
00:52:06and slide it up in my place in which I like.
00:52:09Silence!
00:52:10The elders will consult.
00:52:16Pardon me.
00:52:19Please.
00:52:20You'll be okay.
00:52:22Ahh. Much better.
00:52:48Let's go.
00:52:57I'm not in my house, am I?
00:53:01No.
00:53:06Outsiders, we have decided to let you stay with us
00:53:09so that you'll be safe from those of whom we do not or don't.
00:53:16Speak.
00:53:17But now that you are part of our village,
00:53:21understand this.
00:53:23You may never leave.
00:53:26No! No!
00:53:28How did your son die?
00:53:30The thing in the world is at stake.
00:53:32You know what to do.
00:53:32Was it you? Did you kill him?
00:53:34This is some shit up with which we will not quit!
00:53:37Time for that.
00:53:38I am against it.
00:53:43This village isn't what it used to be.
00:53:48Just hours after the devastating alien attack,
00:53:51world leaders have gathered at the United Nations.
00:53:55In this mankind's darkest hour,
00:53:58the human race has turned as one
00:54:00to the wisdom and leadership
00:54:02of the President of the United States.
00:54:04Ladies and gentlemen,
00:54:06the President of the United States.
00:54:09We'll get him, Tiger.
00:54:11They mean you, sir.
00:54:13Oh, yes.
00:54:14Of course.
00:54:24So, an Indian, the Frenchman, and the Pope are all on a plane.
00:54:28The pilot says, hey, are any of you not circumcised?
00:54:32So the Pope flits up his robe and says, shut up, stupid, you don't even speak English.
00:54:39The Israeli asks the Japanese guy to open his eyes, but the Japanese man says, I'm not
00:54:43squinting, you crazy Jew.
00:54:44You're the one who sold me these cheap glasses.
00:54:47What's the difference between a Belgian and a lump of dog shit?
00:54:50The Belgian drinks wine, but the dog shit smells good.
00:54:58But, I'm in serious now, I'm here today at the, uh, UN, because the earth has been attacked.
00:55:06I'm happy to report that we may have found a way to fight back.
00:55:09My military advisors at the pentagram have managed to do the impossible.
00:55:13They had captured one of the alien heat ray guns.
00:55:17As you know, the heat ray destroys the body, leaving behind nothing but clothes.
00:55:21Our engineers have managed to reverse the polarity of the weapon in the hopes that it can now
00:55:26be turned against the alien invaders.
00:55:35Now, where was it?
00:55:38Big, please, please.
00:55:41Big, please, please.
00:55:43New technology may seem private, but I believe that deep is our best chance.
00:55:48Let me give you, uh, a demonstration.
00:55:53It's not a very pretty sight.
00:56:02Come on, get some liver, then we'll slide it around in here.
00:56:07Big, please.
00:56:13Yo, man, you see this ray of weed?
00:56:16Nope.
00:56:18Dad, how much further till Mom's?
00:56:20I don't know.
00:56:21Not sure how much longer I can carry your sister.
00:56:24I've been walking this entire time.
00:56:27Who the hell is...
00:56:29I'll hit you.
00:56:31Stay close, Rachel.
00:56:33Dad, look!
00:56:36Hey, hey! You guys! I wanna help!
00:56:39Bobby!
00:56:43Don't move! For God's sake, stand right there! I'll be right back!
00:56:46Hey! Hey, you guys! I wanna help!
00:56:51Awesome!
00:56:53Wait! Are you crazy?
00:56:56No! The paper at my college!
00:57:00Kick-ass!
00:57:02Bobby!
00:57:04What's the matter with you?
00:57:06Hey, look at that guy!
00:57:07This is so cool!
00:57:11Robbie!
00:57:13Robbie!
00:57:20Rachel!
00:57:22Rachel!
00:57:23Little girl, are you alone?
00:57:26You need to come with me. I'll keep you safe, right kids?
00:57:30Do you have a little brother?
00:57:32Get away from her!
00:57:37Run away, kids!
00:57:39Toward the tripod if you have to!
00:57:41Don't go! I got a Ferris wheel and a chip and a big software we can all get in and...
00:57:47No! Freeze!
00:57:52Not my real face!
00:57:54Not my real face!
00:57:56Not my real face!
00:58:03Over here!
00:58:05Follow me to safety!
00:58:08Ow!
00:58:10Follow me to safety!
00:58:12I don't know about this.
00:58:12Trust me!
00:58:13I'm an excellent judge of character!
00:58:15All right!
00:58:16Go!
00:58:17Go!
00:58:20Go!
00:58:21Go!
00:58:24Go!
00:58:25Go!
00:58:29Go!
00:58:32Go!
00:58:32Go!
00:58:32Go!
00:58:35Go!
00:58:37Go!
00:58:39Go!
00:58:40Go!
00:58:41Go!
00:58:42Go!
00:58:42Go!
00:58:43Go!
00:58:45Go!
00:58:45Go!
00:58:47Go!
00:58:49Go!
00:58:50Go!
00:58:50Go!
00:58:52Go!
00:58:52Go!
00:58:52Go!
00:58:53Go!
00:58:54Go!
00:58:57Go!
00:59:03Go!
00:59:07Go!
00:59:08My vagina!
00:59:23Quick! Into the cellar!
00:59:25No!
00:59:27This is the cellar!
00:59:29That's the cesspool!
00:59:31Damn it!
00:59:40No!
00:59:51Shoot!
01:00:00Hey!
01:00:03You're not monsters!
01:00:07Old Lady Henderson!
01:00:09And Pig Face Joe!
01:00:17What happened?
01:00:19It is Henry.
01:00:20He has suffered a heart attack.
01:00:22Brought on by this knife.
01:00:27Who did this?
01:00:28It was Ezekiel.
01:00:32Henry.
01:00:33You need a hospital.
01:00:34It's not too late.
01:00:35We can help you.
01:00:37Perhaps you could start by not leaning on the knife.
01:00:42Do not be concerned for him, Cindy.
01:00:45We have sent our most qualified villager for medicines.
01:01:01I am so dead.
01:01:03Please leave me alone with Cindy and Brenda.
01:01:07I have much to tell them.
01:01:10Listen carefully to me.
01:01:13I am not long for this world.
01:01:15Pussy.
01:01:16Brenda!
01:01:17What?
01:01:18Does he say he got shot nine times?
01:01:19He's still walking around?
01:01:21Tell me, Henry.
01:01:22Who killed the boy?
01:01:23Was it you?
01:01:24No.
01:01:25I loved him.
01:01:26And his mother very much.
01:01:28I should have been with him when he died.
01:01:31It was horrible.
01:01:32What happened?
01:01:33You must tell me.
01:01:35They went to a boxing match.
01:01:36It was a women's championship title fight.
01:01:40And there was a terrible accident.
01:01:43Oh, my God.
01:01:54Oh, my God.
01:01:56I do not.
01:01:57Oh, my God.
01:01:58Oh, my God.
01:01:59Oh, my God.
01:01:59Oh, my God.
01:02:02Oh, my God.
01:02:03Oh, my God.
01:02:03All this time, I've been searching for his killer.
01:02:06When it was me, Brenda, it was all my fault.
01:02:10Henry, your son told me that if I found his killer,
01:02:13I would know how to defeat the aliens and he was right don't you see all you have to do
01:02:19is
01:02:24Who the hell let his ass out of jail his brother the sheriff
01:02:32Fucking A
01:02:39There you go sweetie we're gonna die aren't we hey nothing's gonna happen to you
01:02:46I haven't lost anyone yet you've lost robbie
01:02:50Except robbie none of that matters right now what's important is that i'm here with you try and get some
01:02:57sleep okay
01:02:59Sing me lullaby and goodnight
01:03:03I don't know that one sing me hush by mountain i'm sorry rachel i don't know that one either
01:03:21You want this money and you gotta be a bad bitch
01:03:27Shake that ass for tip if you're a bad bitch
01:03:31Drop down to if you're a bad bitch
01:03:34Oh no she ain't no ho she a bad
01:03:46Hey
01:03:47Come on in
01:03:48Have a seat
01:03:50Name's oliver
01:03:53Tom
01:03:54Tom ryan
01:03:56I found this place
01:03:59Plenty of food
01:04:01Along with two freshly killed busy bodies upstairs who
01:04:05Owned the place we could stay here forever you afraid of course i'm afraid i'm not i've been around death
01:04:11plenty
01:04:12Used to drive an ambulance in the city
01:04:15But apparently i wasn't a very strong driver
01:04:18It seems i was killing more people than i was saving something about that siren got me excited
01:04:23It went
01:04:25Carnage
01:04:27But this is different this is a war
01:04:29No
01:04:31Extermination
01:04:32There's no more of a war than there's a war between men and maggots or
01:04:36Dragons and wolves or men riding dragons throwing wolves at maggots
01:04:42Damn it tom can't you understand what i'm trying to tell you
01:04:45These aliens must have a weakness
01:04:47I heard that the japs killed a few of them over in kikomon
01:04:51Kikomon that's soy sauce right yeah low sodium
01:04:55What i'm trying to say tom is that you and i should be fighting these things
01:04:58It's us that should be coming up from under the ground
01:05:00Of course we'll have to bury ourselves first but it'll be worth it cool breeze
01:05:05No sunbark worms when we build our tripods they'll have four legs i have a choice
01:05:14We'll tunnel up from behind and scare the piss out of them
01:05:23Wish we had some shovels don't you
01:05:34Dad
01:05:50You
01:05:51I
01:05:52I
01:05:52I
01:05:52I
01:06:07I
01:06:07I
01:06:08I
01:06:10I
01:06:36Oh, my God.
01:07:02What's the secret, Brenda?
01:07:04What am I missing?
01:07:06Oh, please, more fake monsters?
01:07:26Come on!
01:07:28Come on!
01:07:37Help!
01:07:38Help!
01:07:39Help!
01:07:40I promised they'd find you, didn't I?
01:07:57Oh!
01:07:59Where are we?
01:08:00What is this?
01:08:02Some kind of basket attached to the tripod.
01:08:06Jesus!
01:08:07I know, it's horrible.
01:08:09Why?
01:08:10What are the aliens gonna do to us?
01:08:12I don't know, but they're taking everyone.
01:08:14Young, old, rich, poor, chingy.
01:08:17Oh, that's bad.
01:08:18Then I dropped the town.
01:08:19Oh, my God!
01:08:22Oh!
01:08:22Oh, my God!
01:08:30Wait.
01:08:30No, my tired days!
01:08:32Oh!
01:08:33Help!
01:08:34Help!
01:08:35Help!
01:08:36Help!
01:08:37Help!
01:08:37Help!
01:08:39Oh, my dad?
01:08:47You're not dead.
01:08:50You're not dead.
01:08:56What am I?
01:08:59Bender!
01:09:02Hey.
01:09:04Could be worse.
01:09:08You want to switch?
01:09:10Okay.
01:09:12Bender, look!
01:09:14I don't believe it.
01:09:15The alien killed the dinosaur!
01:09:22Hello, humans.
01:09:23Welcome to the inside of the command tripod.
01:09:27Where's Rachel?
01:09:28What have you done with my daughter?
01:09:29All in good time, Tom.
01:09:31But first, I want to play a game.
01:09:34The devices you wear will trigger in 60 seconds.
01:09:38The switch on the wall behind Cindy will disable them.
01:09:41But where is the key?
01:09:44I'll give you a hint, Cindy.
01:09:46Let the game begin.
01:09:49I-I don't get it.
01:09:52Okay, maybe this will help you see.
01:10:03You want me to... cut something?
01:10:08That should be obvious, yes.
01:10:13No.
01:10:14No.
01:10:16No!
01:10:18The key is behind your eye, okay?
01:10:26Zoltar, get in here.
01:10:27This one's gonna do it.
01:10:28No.
01:10:33Fake eye.
01:10:35Bad bar fight, 96.
01:10:41Oh!
01:10:46Oh, I hope this doesn't come between us.
01:10:51Of course not.
01:10:59Is it too late for me to try this on?
01:11:01Silence!
01:11:02The game is not yet over.
01:11:06Rachel!
01:11:07Daddy!
01:11:08Mommy!
01:11:09Daddy!
01:11:14The only thing keeping your children alive, Tom, is you.
01:11:19Well, we had a good run.
01:11:22Ah!
01:11:25Ha!
01:11:26You weren't expecting that, were you?
01:11:27On the contrary.
01:11:29I was counting on it.
01:11:35I call it... the nutcracker.
01:11:39Why?
01:11:42Of course!
01:11:49Kampua!
01:11:50Shushi!
01:11:51Sashimi!
01:11:58Oh, my gosh.
01:12:01Of course.
01:12:02Follow the blood.
01:12:03Henry was a stepdad.
01:12:04You're the little boy's real father.
01:12:06Where did you even meet her?
01:12:08It was spring break in Cabo.
01:12:10So what?
01:12:11I blended in.
01:12:12Seriously, who gives a crap?
01:12:14What's this?
01:12:17Enjoy your purple nurple, Tom.
01:12:23Please, your son wouldn't want this.
01:12:25His soul walks to the earth because of the pain you're causing.
01:12:28No!
01:12:28I have crossed the galaxy for revenge.
01:12:31But it's my fault.
01:12:32Let the others go.
01:12:33Oh, I don't think so.
01:12:35Look upon him as he rides.
01:12:36Hey, Zingy!
01:12:37Look!
01:12:38I want TV, y'all!
01:12:39Check it out!
01:12:40I want to give a shout out to all my peeps!
01:12:42Ah!
01:12:44Have you lost your mind?
01:12:46No one!
01:12:47Hip slaps!
01:12:48Break down!
01:12:49Zoltar, help!
01:12:50Oh, this is some bullshit!
01:12:53I'm a jackass!
01:12:54I know you hold a grudge against humanity for your son's death, but...
01:12:58Oh, wet willy!
01:13:01Killing us won't bring your little boy back.
01:13:03No!
01:13:04You will all pay for what you have done.
01:13:06Besides, I've already built this thing.
01:13:10When the trap closes on you, it will lock the chain in place.
01:13:13Your children will be saved, but you will suffer a terrible death.
01:13:17Can you hang on to the ones you love?
01:13:20You have 60 seconds.
01:13:25Don't worry, kids!
01:13:26I won't quit on you!
01:13:29It's okay to let go, Dad.
01:13:31All you ever had to do was show that you loved me.
01:13:35And show me what it means to be a man.
01:13:37And show me that I could love again.
01:13:41We forgive you, Dad.
01:13:53The spikes! They stack!
01:13:59Kids!
01:14:00Daddy!
01:14:06Are you sparing our lives?
01:14:09Anyone can hold a grudge.
01:14:11But it takes real courage to forgive.
01:14:14The invasion is over.
01:14:17And?
01:14:18And I guess I'm sorry or something better.
01:14:21Like you mean it.
01:14:23Okay.
01:14:24I'm sorry for killing millions of people.
01:14:27Whatever.
01:14:28Wait.
01:14:29Where's Brenda?
01:14:33What?
01:14:34We're at peace now.
01:14:35I was just sealing the deal.
01:14:38Come on, Brenda.
01:14:39Let's go for it.
01:14:42Bye, Zoltar!
01:14:43Don't lose my number!
01:14:47Tell me you didn't catch something.
01:14:50Nah, it's cool.
01:14:51She said she was a virgin.
01:14:54We are so fucked.
01:14:56We are so fucked.
01:15:12Mommy!
01:15:22Hey, look, kids. Grandpa!
01:15:26No, that's my new husband.
01:15:33Oh, I think it's romantic.
01:15:37The way love can find anyone.
01:15:43And so love triumphed in the end, and the invaders were destroyed. For this world, our world, is the world
01:15:53of man.
01:15:54We have earned the right to live here. And as long as we love, humanity will prevail. Each of our
01:16:02enemies has failed in their quest to defeat us. Each has been undone by their own nefarious powers.
01:16:10Among all worlds, across all galaxies. We stand above. We stand alone. None can threaten our existence. None can challenge
01:16:21our spirit. And why? Of all the qualities that make us unique. It is love. It is our greatest strength.
01:16:30And because of love, mankind...
01:16:37Thank you. Hello, and welcome to the show. We have got a very special man with some very special news.
01:16:44That's right. He's in the building. The man who saved the world. Put your hands together. Tom Ryan!
01:16:52Yes! My best friend!
01:17:10Wow.
01:17:13That's it?
01:17:14Okay.
01:17:19so you're in love i am i'm in love
01:17:39you are adorable when you are in love thank you tell us all about her she's great she's
01:17:44really terrific so it's complicated yeah you were saying that she's complex i guess shut
01:17:50up
01:17:54ow
01:18:01you're insane tom ryan is insane i'm insane are you happy you're happy i'm so happy hey look
01:18:07whoa
01:18:12okay you've got gold
01:18:19damn
01:18:28i love cydney campbell
01:18:30i can jump on this
01:18:33whoa
01:18:34whoa
01:18:38yeah wowie wowie wowie wowie wowie wowie wowie wowie wowie wowie oh
01:18:45Whoa
01:18:51okay isn't cindy here i know you're in the building
01:18:56Vinny, Vinny!
01:18:58Yeah, let's bring her out right here.
01:19:00I love this woman!
01:19:01I love this woman!
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