Fall in for laughs and mischief with Laverne & Shirley in the Army, the animated spin-off of the hit sitcom that sends America’s favorite roommates into boot camp! Joined by their talking pig sidekick Sgt. Squealy, Laverne DeFazio and Shirley Feeney bumble their way through military life, turning every mission and marching order into a hilarious misadventure. Packed with slapstick humor, quirky characters, and that classic Hanna-Barbera charm, Laverne & Shirley in the Army brings comedy and chaos to the front lines of Saturday morning fun. 🎖️😂🐷 #LaverneAndShirleyInTheArmy #80sCartoonVibes #HannaBarbera #CartoonComedy #ClassicCartoonFun #CartoonThrowback #RetroCartoons #CultCartoons #AnimatedSitcom #CartoonLegends #SlapstickToons #RetroAnimation #ClassicTVToons #CartoonLaughs
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FunTranscript
00:01Laverne, let's join the army!
00:03Watch off!
00:07Where do I sign up?
00:09I'm with you!
00:12Turn!
00:15I'm commanding, pig!
00:19Shoot it on that, Laverne!
00:22Whoa!
00:23Help!
00:24Join the army, you said!
00:30Stop!
00:36Left, left, left, right, left, left, left, left, left, left, right, left!
00:54Laverne, do we have to paint the military way?
00:57You hurt, Squealy.
00:58Do it by the book, or you'll do capy for the cook!
01:02Yeah, and the only thing worse than working for the cook is eating is cooking!
01:06All right, you gold briquettes!
01:08Zip your lips!
01:10Paint that coal!
01:11The Joint Chiefs will be here any minute to inspect the space!
01:14That must be them now!
01:15Wrong privately, me!
01:17Those are the food trucks of the army's new top chef!
01:20These bring the Joint Chiefs their own personals for my dinner!
01:25You might know that the top brass wouldn't eat what we eat!
01:29Of course not, Laverne!
01:30Generals aren't supposed to risk their lives in peacetime!
01:33Back to work!
01:34Yes, sir, pig sir!
01:36Your paint bucket landed right on Squealy's head!
01:39Don't knock it, Cheryl!
01:40It's an improvement!
01:41Ooh, I'll get you finished, Defazio!
01:43Calling Sergeant Tynebuckle!
01:44We've gotta stop him, Laverne!
01:45I know, I will!
01:46It doesn't look good, Cheryl!
01:47Perhaps we should take our lead!
01:49I'm just dying for some new food, Laverne!
01:51Wrong!
01:52You're dying from the old food!
01:53Well, let's see what's cooking with the new chef!
01:56So that's the army's new top chef!
01:58I hope he cooks better than he looks!
02:00Yeah, I've got a way to find out!
02:02I've got a way to find out!
02:03Let's go!
02:04We've gotta stop him, Laverne!
02:05We've gotta stop him, Laverne!
02:06I know!
02:07I will!
02:08It doesn't look good, Cheryl!
02:09Perhaps we should take our lead!
02:11I'm just dying for some new food, Laverne!
02:14Wrong!
02:15You're dying from the old food!
02:16Well, let's see what's cooking with the new chef!
02:18We've got a way to find out, Cheryl!
02:20So pack up your taste buds and...
02:21Come on!
02:27Bruno here, Commander!
02:29Operation Joint Chiefs is about to be launched!
02:31Check the Shrinking Ray!
02:33Yes, Commander!
02:43Well?
02:44The Shrink Ray is working perfectly, Commander!
02:47Excellent!
02:48Once you shrink the Joint Chiefs, they will be helpless in our grasp!
02:52And so will the United States of America!
02:56Indeed, Commander!
02:58You must not fail, Bruno!
03:00You know the penalty for failure!
03:02Oh, Chef!
03:03Oh, Chef!
03:04We're the Fort Fillmore food inspectors!
03:06Food inspectors?
03:07Yes, sir!
03:08So if you don't mind, we'll get right down to business and start eating, uh, inspecting!
03:14Nobody inspects my food!
03:16I am the internationally acclaimed Chef, Bruno!
03:20Bruno Shmuno!
03:21Orders is orders, fella!
03:22Right!
03:23And we're going to sample everything until we're full!
03:26I feel it meets our standards!
03:28Mmm!
03:29Yuck!
03:30You call this soup?
03:32No, I call it dishwater!
03:34That is the soup!
03:36And what have we here, Bruno?
03:38One of my specialties!
03:40Wiener schnitzel!
03:42Hmm, schnitzel is rather good, but I do think it needs more wieners!
03:46Wieners?
03:47Wieners?
03:48There are no wieners and wiener schnitzels!
03:51Of course!
03:52Hahaha!
03:53Just testing you, Bruno!
03:54Doing our job!
03:55Hahaha!
03:56You inspectors know nothing whatever about food!
04:00I demand to see your identification!
04:03You heard the chef, Cheryl!
04:04Show him!
04:05Me?
04:06He asked you first!
04:07Actually, Bruno, we don't carry our identification around with us!
04:11Oh?
04:12Why not?
04:14We'll tell you why not!
04:16Uh...
04:17Uh...
04:18Tell him, Cheryl!
04:19Uh...
04:20Uh...
04:21We don't need any identification because, uh...
04:24Because we already know who we are!
04:25Right!
04:26She's Shirley, and I'm not!
04:28Oh!
04:29Why didn't you say so?
04:30I...
04:31What?!
04:32Get out of my kitchen!
04:34Out!
04:35Out!
04:36Laverne, I think this rude person is telling us we're not welcome here!
04:40Before we go, Bruno, could I make one eensy-peensy request?
04:44Well, what is it?
04:45How about a couple of schnitzels to go?
04:47Blah!
04:48Blah!
04:49Blah!
04:50Blah!
04:51Blah!
04:52Blah!
04:53Blah!
04:54Blah!
04:55Blah!
04:56Blah!
04:57Blah!
04:58Blah!
04:59Blah!
05:00Blah!
05:01Blah!
05:02Blah!
05:03Blah!
05:04Blah!
05:05Blah!
05:06Blah!
05:07Blah!
05:08Blah!
05:09Blah!
05:10Blah!
05:11Ah!
05:12No!
05:13Oh!
05:14Oh!
05:15What'll I do?!
05:16What'll i do?
05:17I know what I better do.
05:18Run!
05:20Go!
05:23This is awful.
05:24My uniform is ruined.
05:29Guy!
05:30A bird!
05:31Oh, I'm going to find her.
05:34I live that long.
05:36Jolly!
05:38Jolly!
05:39Where'd she go?
05:40That's what I'd like to know, DeFazio.
05:43And so would Sergeant Turnbuckle.
05:45Mom, it's you.
05:47Who were you expecting?
05:48Some handsome guy.
05:51If I was, you ain't it, suede face.
05:54My, my, my, but we do have a temper.
05:57And to think I came here to give you two your weekend pieces.
06:01You mean it?
06:01Gimme.
06:02But since Charlie is AWOL at the moment,
06:06I shall have to inform Sergeant Turnbuckle that...
06:09Aw, come on, squealy.
06:10Do you have to tell Turnbuckle?
06:12Of course I don't have to, Laverne.
06:16I want to.
06:20You're all pig.
06:21Laverne!
06:22Cheryl, where are you?
06:24Down here.
06:26Cheryl?
06:27I know you wanted to lose weight, but this is ridiculous.
06:30Now, see here, Feeny.
06:31If this is some trick to avoid KP, it just will not work.
06:35It's no trick, squealy.
06:37Something really weird just happened to me in the meth hall.
06:39You know, I had a dolly about your size when I was a kid, but the dog chewed her up.
06:45Laverne, don't talk like that.
06:47What if I stay this size?
06:49Oh, look at her this way, Cheryl.
06:50You'll make some little girl very happy.
06:52Just make sure she doesn't have a dog.
06:54I'm being serious, Laverne.
06:56So am I, Feeny.
06:58How are you going to do dishes on KP if Laverne has to keep fishing you out of the sink?
07:03Cut out, squealy.
07:04Can't you see the little lady here is in big trouble?
07:06What happened to you anyhow?
07:08It was really strange.
07:10When the ship was chasing us, I ran past the food warmer light and, zap, it shrunk me.
07:15As commanding, Pig, I intend to get to the bottom of this.
07:18Go reconnoiter the meth hall.
07:20Now move out!
07:20Ah, the Joint Chiefs will love my fishy swans.
07:27I'll hide you behind the salt shaker so you can see what he's up to.
07:35Yes, commander?
07:37Joint Chiefs are landing on schedule, Bruno.
07:39Is everything in readiness?
07:41Yes, indeed, commander.
07:43And once they pass through my shrink ray, I shall have them in the palm of my hand.
07:49So that's it!
07:50Ah, what a faintish plan.
07:53Shrinking the Joint Chiefs to take over our beloved U.S. of A.
07:57That's low.
07:58Yeah.
08:00It appears to need a bit more salt and perhaps a dash of pepper.
08:06Help! Help!
08:08So, you were spying on me and stumbled into my shrink ray.
08:13Put her down, you big shrinker.
08:15We heard your whole evil plot, Cookie, and I'm placing you under military arrest.
08:21Pan-hut!
08:22Unhand that little soldierette!
08:24That's telling him, Squealy.
08:26You okay, short stuff?
08:27Are you kidding?
08:28Don't you realize that none of my claws will fit me anymore?
08:31To the stockade!
08:32March!
08:33Up-to!
08:33Up-to!
08:34Up-to!
08:35Up-to!
08:35Up-to!
08:35Up-to!
08:36Up-to!
08:36Stockade?
08:37Blah!
08:38We have ways of dealing with troublemakers.
08:42Not so fast.
08:43We'll do this the army way.
08:45And the army says, run for cover!
08:48Blah!
08:51Faster, Squealy!
08:54Blah!
08:54Blah!
08:55Blah!
08:57Blah!
09:02Get this off of me!
09:05Charlie, where are you?
09:07Up here, in the chocolate pudding.
09:09Girl?
09:11You know what?
09:13You're delicious.
09:14Oh, joy!
09:15Mission accomplished, Defazia!
09:17We got him!
09:20Make that!
09:22He's got us!
09:24Sounds retreat!
09:26Whoa!
09:27I have plans for you.
09:30Uh, big plans?
09:32No, little ones.
09:34Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
09:36Hey, I'm warning you, Mr. Man.
09:38You're tampering with military property here.
09:41Hee-hee.
09:41How right you are!
09:43Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
09:44Yeah!
09:45Hey!
09:47Don't look good, Cheryl.
09:48You and I are doll-sized, and really looks like a piggy bank.
09:52Hee-hee-hee-hee.
09:53Do you have anything to say, before I put an end to your interference?
09:58Yes!
09:58This is your last chance to surrender!
10:01Hee-hee-hee-hee.
10:02surrender to you I have no intention of doing that little cake in that case let
10:10me know if you change your mind the Joint Chiefs will soon be here so please
10:14excuse me I do hope that you'll be happy in our sugar bowl sweet dreams are we
10:21in trouble oh and if we don't exist that Jeff's going to make two soldiers out of
10:26the Joint Chiefs it's all rather disgusting isn't it I've got it why don't
10:31we pile up these sugar cubes and climb out hey I do the thinking in the squad
10:35soldier and I say we pile up these sugar cubes and climb out
10:40Bruno here commander our spies report the Joint Chiefs have just arrived at the
10:45airport and will soon be your guests I trust you already yes commander everything
10:52is under control we're clear move out trooperettes come on sure this was your
10:58idea I know but these rough cubes are sandpapering my manicure double time it
11:02you two we'll slide down this twine that I found on that roast goose and get help
11:07roast goose huh you know a teensy bite of that drumstick would sure hit the old
11:11the burn if you don't stop worrying about your stomach it'll be your neck
11:15come on you gold brick it's faster
11:17not that fierce
11:22there's a phone in the back room where we can warn the MPs about Bruno
11:26hey I'm the leader here and I'm leading you to a phone in the back room
11:31that we can warn the MPs about Bruno
11:33but you just look at the size of that kitty cat
11:46not to mention the size of those teeth
11:48okay squealy what does your army manual say about this situation
11:52it says
11:53it says every pigworm sells
11:58but where can we hide from a cat
12:00under a German shepherd where else
12:02they drop in here
12:07follow that pig
12:09three seconds to impact and counting
12:13that did it
12:19he's gone we're saved
12:21saved
12:22we're still knee high to a ketchup bottle and you say we're saved
12:25well we're not cat food are we
12:27now that has to count for something Laverne
12:29I never thought I'd be the day when I'd be glad I wasn't cat food
12:32attention support and service person
12:35the pig has found a way out
12:37behold a phone
12:38a phone
12:40oh a phone
12:41terrific we could send out for pizza
12:43we could also call the range of call Marshal Depazio
12:46but squealy how do we get up to the phone
12:48I am surprised at you Feeney
12:51anyone with half a brain could figure that out
12:53and since you fall into that group
12:55you can explain it to us
12:56ho ho ho
12:57very funny soldier
12:59someday you're gonna be famous
13:00as the army's record holder for the marriage
13:03ho ho ho
13:04now climb this cordon that's in order
13:06do this
13:07do that
13:08oh if I were just a few inches taller
13:10I hear you talking Cheryl
13:12oh no
13:13it's the big brass
13:14the joint chief
13:16help me get this phone off the hook
13:18you know
13:19this would be a lot easier
13:21if the army had princess phones
13:22whoa
13:23you clumsy clown
13:27sorry Freely
13:28looks like the first call is on you
13:30oh that's hilarious Depazio
13:33Sergeant Tanbuck and I
13:34will have a long laugh about it later
13:36now we'll just oil the emergency operator
13:39come on you wacky wacky
13:42will you help me doil this thing
13:45don't get your fork in a panic
13:47Freely
13:47we'll help
13:48oh gee this is hard
13:50no wonder mice never use phones
13:52just pull Cheryl
13:54right Laverne
13:55now to see how my little military
13:58busybodies are doing
13:59huh
14:01now god
14:02impossible
14:03I'll find you again
14:05and you'll be very sorry
14:07come out
14:08come out
14:09wherever you are
14:10it's Bruno
14:11he's looking for us
14:12this is no
14:15time for panic
14:16Feeney
14:17just keep pulling
14:18and whatever you do
14:19don't let go
14:21there you are
14:25come back here
14:26and hate me
14:27Laverne look at me
14:31I'm all sticky sticky
14:33yeah well you're going to be worse than that
14:34if Bruno catches us
14:35we got to think of something fast
14:36you can't hide for long
14:39not behind the pots
14:41not under the table
14:43not on a wedding cake
14:45wedding cake
14:46I didn't bake a wedding cake
14:49especially not one
14:51with the ugliest groom
14:52I've ever seen
14:54okay Buster
14:55drinking the joint chiefs
14:57is one thing
14:58but insulting an official army pig
15:00is just a little too much
15:01Squealy
15:02listen up Bruno
15:04this is positively
15:05your last chance
15:06to surrender
15:07for real
15:08surrender or what
15:10what he means is
15:12surrender
15:12or not
15:13not
15:14an understandable choice
15:16Bruno
15:16you see
15:18it is too late
15:19you cannot stop me now
15:21oh my
15:22the joint chiefs
15:23are already coming in
15:24for their last supper
15:24and your last supper
15:27will be dessert
15:28ice cream
15:31this is awful
15:33you're right Cheryl
15:34why couldn't it have been
15:35chocolate fudge almond ripple
15:37I can just hear the chaplain
15:41at our funeral saying
15:42you're like two girls
15:43who did their duty
15:44till they fell in a tub
15:45of tootie fruity
15:46enough of this
15:47this beat is dark
15:48we need ideas
15:49I have an idea
15:50if we could get some dishes
15:52for the ice cream
15:52and some cookies
15:53we could eat our way out
15:54Bingie
15:55why is it that
15:55when you think
15:56I get a headache
15:57oh you better start
15:58thinking too
15:59squealy
15:59or you're gonna be
16:00a pig sickle
16:01it just so happens
16:02little soldier
16:03that I already
16:04have an idea
16:05mountain climbing
16:10our way out
16:10is a good idea
16:11squealy
16:11yeah but where'd
16:12you get the rope
16:13that just shows
16:14how much you know
16:15Laverne
16:15this isn't rope
16:16it's a spider web
16:17spider web
16:18they shoot him at us
16:22follow me
16:22troopeteers
16:23Laverne
16:24just like Tarzan
16:25great
16:26with squealy
16:27as the gym
16:28where are we now
16:34look
16:34it's that
16:35Bruno creep again
16:36we're in his hat
16:39and he's heading
16:40for the dinner table
16:41this is a perfect
16:42opportunity
16:42to warn the joint chief
16:44be sensible
16:45squealy
16:45Bruno won't warn
16:46the joint chief
16:47I think the pig
16:48means we can warn
16:49them sure
16:50the roast goose
16:53and a Bruno
16:54just smell that
16:57roast goose
16:57and that gravy
16:59but I wouldn't
17:01give her a plate
17:01of that
17:02attention
17:02officer and
17:04Todd squealy
17:04reporting
17:05that chef
17:06is a master spy
17:07absolutely
17:08delicious Bruno
17:10our compliment
17:11thank you sir
17:13it's no use
17:15squealy
17:15they can't hear you
17:16after dessert
17:17I would be pleased
17:19to give you a tour
17:20of my kitchen
17:20tour is shrinking
17:22ray more likely
17:23we gotta do something
17:24and I've got
17:25just the plan
17:26we are only
17:27one course away
17:28from having the
17:29USA in the palm
17:31of our hand
17:31commander
17:32excellent Bruno
17:33excellent
17:34so what's the plan
17:36of yours squealy
17:36it better be good
17:38oh
17:38questioning a superior
17:39officer are we
17:41just watch and learn
17:42Laverne
17:42watch and learn
17:43squealy
17:45okay troops
17:46forward
17:47jump
17:48you out of your
17:49gourd
17:49that's a long
17:50drop there
17:50oh but look
17:51Laverne
17:52that sponge
17:52will break
17:52our fall
17:53if it doesn't
17:54it'll break
17:54squealy's neck
17:55yay
18:01squealy was right
18:03Laverne
18:04that didn't hurt
18:04a bit
18:05yeah but where
18:05do we go
18:05from here
18:06the first place
18:07you go
18:08Laverne
18:08is off the pig
18:09squealy please
18:12don't shout
18:13like that
18:13it's a pig
18:14like
18:14just follow
18:15me and
18:16instep
18:16if you
18:17please
18:17hup
18:18hup
18:18hup
18:19okay okay
18:20we're
18:20hopping
18:20okay now
18:26our only chance
18:27is to get
18:27to that shrink
18:28ray
18:28and unshrink
18:29before it's
18:29too late
18:30that's the most
18:31sensible thing
18:31he said all
18:32day
18:32now quickly
18:33you two
18:34climb up
18:35there
18:35throw that
18:36twitch
18:36and unshrink
18:37me
18:37then I'll
18:38unshrink
18:38you
18:39dumb plant
18:40why can't
18:40you climb
18:41up and
18:41unshrink
18:41us first
18:42that will
18:43be five
18:43tomerits
18:44for questioning
18:44the military
18:45mine
18:45private
18:46feeney
18:47that'll take
18:47you to argue
18:48with a pig
18:48shirl
18:49now hang
18:49on to me
18:50while I
18:50twit that
18:50leather
18:51hurry it up
18:53bruno's
18:53coming back
18:54hurrying but
18:55it's hard
18:55to reach
18:56hold tight
18:57shirl
18:57here goes
18:58nothing
18:59yay
19:00oh
19:01thank goodness
19:05Laverne
19:05we're full
19:06size and
19:06normal again
19:07full size
19:08yes
19:09normal
19:10ever
19:10bruno
19:15you again
19:17this time
19:18I'll
19:18pretend
19:19to your
19:19medley
19:20don't panic
19:21shirl
19:21I've got
19:22a plan
19:22what is it
19:23Laverne
19:23come
19:24hey you
19:25guys
19:26what about
19:26me
19:27time to
19:30counter
19:30attack
19:31congratulations
19:34squealy
19:35you really
19:35zapped him
19:36with that
19:36shrinker
19:37ah
19:38it's
19:38nothing
19:38any red
19:39blooded
19:39american
19:40pig
19:40would not
19:40do
19:41put me
19:42down
19:43how about
19:44that
19:44shirl
19:44the big
19:45chef
19:45is now
19:46a short
19:46order
19:46cook
19:47a very
19:48short
19:48order
19:49cook
19:49okay
19:50now
19:51my turn
19:51let's
19:52let's
19:52say we
19:52make this
19:53pig
19:53full
19:53size
19:54on the
19:54double
19:55i don't
19:56know
19:56shirl
19:56what do
19:57you think
19:57he's such a cute
19:58little pig the way he is
20:00he's such a cute
20:01he's such a cute
20:02time
20:02mackerel
20:02we're here about to stop
20:03and subordination
20:05disrespect to the commanding pig abandoning our superior officer in a teeny weeny condition
20:09very well squeeley we'll get you back to side on one condition
20:15oh yeah
20:16now wasn't that sweet of squeeley to give us weekend passes
20:21yeah i wonder how old sausage snout is enjoying his end of the bargain
20:25one of these days i'll get you for this defazio
20:29go toe feeny
20:31one of these days
20:34stay tuned for that flamboyant fly boy as he buzzes the skies over fun town coming up next
20:44then at five eastern have the caped crusaders met their match or will catwoman be victim to her own cleverness
20:50don't miss batman here on the family channel
20:55and
20:57you
20:58you
21:02you
21:08you
21:16you
21:18you
21:20you
21:22you
21:24I'll see you next time.
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