Fall in for laughs and mischief with Laverne & Shirley in the Army, the animated spin-off of the hit sitcom that sends America’s favorite roommates into boot camp! Joined by their talking pig sidekick Sgt. Squealy, Laverne DeFazio and Shirley Feeney bumble their way through military life, turning every mission and marching order into a hilarious misadventure. Packed with slapstick humor, quirky characters, and that classic Hanna-Barbera charm, Laverne & Shirley in the Army brings comedy and chaos to the front lines of Saturday morning fun. 🎖️😂🐷 #LaverneAndShirleyInTheArmy #80sCartoonVibes #HannaBarbera #CartoonComedy #ClassicCartoonFun #CartoonThrowback #RetroCartoons #CultCartoons #AnimatedSitcom #CartoonLegends #SlapstickToons #RetroAnimation #ClassicTVToons #CartoonLaughs
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FunTranscript
00:00Join the army.
00:01Watch your off.
00:05Where do I sign up?
00:07I'm with you.
00:10Turn up.
00:13A commanding pig.
00:17You're good on that little bird.
00:20Whoa.
00:21Help.
00:22Join the army, you said.
00:30Stop!
00:49Now I know why they call this a mess hall, Laverne.
00:51I've never seen such a sloppy mess.
00:54Yeah, I have.
00:55Here he comes now.
00:57Pan hut.
00:58Aye, aye, sir.
01:00Very funny.
01:04All right, the fuzzy owl.
01:06I want this pot so shiny I can see my face in it.
01:10Your face, huh?
01:11Sure are a glutton for punishment.
01:13Really, Squealy.
01:14You'd think in this modern army they'd have the latest dishwashing equipment.
01:18Oh, but they do.
01:19They do.
01:21You're the washer.
01:23And you're the dryer.
01:24No, boy.
01:28That pig really gets my goat.
01:31That's enough stuff, Laverne.
01:33You really think so, sure?
01:34Look at my face.
01:35Do I look like I'm lying?
01:36I don't know, sure.
01:37I can't find your thing.
01:39Gee, this really is better than the bargain brand.
01:42Yay!
01:43Yay!
01:44I'll make you both pay for this.
01:49Ignore the pig, Laverne.
01:50Ignore him.
01:51We're transferring out of this outfit anyway.
01:53We are?
01:54To where?
01:54To there.
01:56Special services?
01:57Aren't they the ones who entertain the troops?
01:59They certainly are.
02:01You too, klutzes.
02:02You've got to have talent to be in the special services.
02:09You want to see talent?
02:10Let's show him talent, Laverne.
02:11This is a famous juggling act.
02:21You'll notice at no time do our fingers leave our hands.
02:25What?
02:30And for our big magical finish, we disappear.
02:33And for my big finish, I make Laverne and Shirley disappear.
02:39Out of my life.
02:41Forever.
02:42And I know just how to do it.
02:45Oh, oh, oh.
02:49I still can't believe Sweeney actually helped us get transferred to a special services unit.
02:55Yeah.
02:55And he said we're going to be right on the ocean with miles and miles of beach.
02:59Must be a tropical south sea island.
03:02Yeah.
03:03Miles and miles of beach.
03:05But they're going to need barbikinis.
03:08I wonder which island paradise we're headed for, Cheryl.
03:12Probably one of those places with two names, like Pango Pango or Bora Bora.
03:17Or, uh-oh, uh-oh.
03:19I never heard of that island.
03:21Well, what else would you call this place?
03:23What happened to our tropical paradise?
03:26Well, maybe they packed it in ice so it'll keep better.
03:29Let's help me complain, little girl.
03:30Even Olivia Newton-John had to start and show business somewhere.
03:34Yeah, but in a cargo net.
03:35Oh, my goodness.
03:39Now that I've had my sweet revenge, it's back to the good old U.S. of A for this pig.
03:43Sometimes I'm so sneaky I could kiss myself.
03:49Hey, hey, stop.
03:50Put me down.
03:51Not here.
03:53No.
03:54Look at my clothes.
03:55They're a mess.
03:56I've been telling you that for years, Laverne.
03:58I mean the stuff on the dock, Cheryl.
04:03Laverne, the boat's leaving.
04:05Wait.
04:05Wait.
04:06Please don't leave us here.
04:09Don't beg, Laverne.
04:11It lacks dignity.
04:12You're right, Cheryl.
04:13If it's one thing we are, it's ladies.
04:16What's this?
04:17Intruders?
04:18They could spoil everything.
04:20After all these years of work, my plans must not be jeopardized by some snooping visitors.
04:25Shall I take care of them, Dr. Rosal?
04:29That won't be necessary, Krulik.
04:32A few lightning bolts should scare them away.
04:40Cheryl, lightning.
04:42Come on, let's get out of here.
04:43It's all right, Laverne.
04:45Everybody knows lightning never strikes twice in the same place.
04:49Okay, so I was wrong.
04:51I'll get you for this.
04:53Really, what are you doing here?
04:54I'm making sure you got what you deserve.
04:58But I got locked in your steamer truck.
05:00Well, that explains it.
05:01No wonder you're steamed.
05:03Hey, guys, look what I found.
05:05What is it, Laverne?
05:07U.S. Army Camp Frostbite.
05:10Sounds sort of warm and cozy, doesn't it?
05:12Laverne, look.
05:13What is it?
05:15I don't know, but it's got beady little eyes.
05:20It's some kind of monster.
05:22It's squealy.
05:27I'd settle for a monster.
05:29A monster who is going to have Sergeant Tank Buckle put you two on ice for good.
05:35Now grab those bags and the double.
05:37You got troops to entertain.
05:39Hip and a huff, and a hip and a huff.
05:42Gosh, Laverne, it'll sure be great to see some handsome soldiers, even if they are fresh frozen.
05:47Yeah, sure.
05:48I'm thinking the fun we'll have thawing them out.
05:54Column pulse.
05:56One, two, three.
05:57What?
05:57It's about time.
05:59I'm pooped.
06:01Hey, come back with my clothes.
06:03But you're not a size nine.
06:06But then neither are you, Laverne.
06:07Look, Dr. Rosso.
06:09Now there are three of them.
06:11They're getting too close to my secret laboratory.
06:14Krulik, give them a taste of the avalanche detonator.
06:17Yes, you're the doctor.
06:21Laverne, what's that rumbling sound?
06:24Must be my stomach.
06:25Your stomach, my foot.
06:27Look.
06:28It's an avalanche.
06:30And it's headed right towards us.
06:31You know, Laverne, it's really kind of pretty.
06:34In a disastrous sort of way.
06:35Mother Nature giving vent to her anger.
06:37Great, we're about to get crushed and she's writing a nature book.
06:41Squealy, what do we do?
06:42All right, don't panic, people.
06:44It's all spelled out in the Manual of Emergency Procedures.
06:47Here it is.
06:49What to do in case of an avalanche.
06:51What?
06:53Split.
06:53Brief, but to the point.
06:57Company, who?
06:59Why are we stopping?
07:00Because according to my calculations, we are outside the path of the avalanche.
07:07Great calculatins, squealy.
07:09That's what we get for trusting a pig.
07:12Okay, all right.
07:13So math was never my strongest subject.
07:14Shoot me.
07:15This is Camp Frostbite.
07:18It could certainly use a woman's touch.
07:21Sending us to an army post at the North Pole.
07:24Squealy, I could strangle you.
07:26It so happens that this is the South Pole.
07:30Okay, I could strangle you all.
07:32Where is everybody anyway?
07:34Look, footprints.
07:36A marvelous piece of detection, Private Feeney.
07:39And they lead to that barracks door.
07:42I'll take charge of this.
07:46Yes?
07:48Army pig squealy reporting for duty, sir.
07:50This is Private Feeney and Private DeFazio.
07:53We're here to entertain the troops.
07:55Entertain the troops?
07:57That's right.
07:58Well, I think we're a hit, Laverne.
08:04Can we go home now?
08:05Hey, mister, have a little respect, huh?
08:09You're dealing with a government pig here.
08:11This is the strangest looking barracks I've ever seen.
08:14Who said it, Cheryl?
08:15It looks like Buck Rogers' basement.
08:18This equipment doesn't look very G.R. to me.
08:21And another thing.
08:22This atomic iceberg disintegrator is very dusty.
08:26Atomic iceberg disintegrator?
08:28Just exactly who are you, soldier?
08:32If you must know, I am Dr. Ozo.
08:37Ooh, Laverne, a doctor.
08:39Doc, I've been having this little pain in my neck ever since I got here.
08:43And you've been a pain in my neck ever since you got here.
08:46You hear that, Cheryl?
08:47It's an epidemic.
08:48You have intruded where you are not wanted.
08:52Maybe we should have made an appointment first, Laverne.
08:54You have interrupted the most important work of the entire 20th century.
08:59I have learned to conquer the elements.
09:02And soon, I shall conquer the world.
09:04I think the doctor is definitely not in.
09:10Krulik, seize them.
09:11Yes, doctor.
09:13Troops, to the rear march.
09:15Girl, this is one order I'll be glad to follow.
09:23They must not escape.
09:25They won't.
09:27Hurry, Laverne. More ice.
09:29I'm hurrying. It's not easy cutting these blocks with a nail file.
09:32Okay, trooperettes.
09:34We'll be safe in here.
09:37We had to get a doctor who makes igloo calls.
09:41Blasts! They got away. After them.
09:44Yes.
09:47Run this way.
09:49Uh, if you don't mind, we'd rather not.
09:52Laverne, it's a painted backdrop.
09:54And look what's behind.
09:56A tropical jungle.
09:58Here at the South Pole?
10:00Someone's turned this frozen wasteland into a steaming jungle.
10:03Vern, do you realize what this means?
10:05Yeah, my perm is going to be ruined.
10:09It's useless to try to escape.
10:12Okay, Buster.
10:13Exactly what's going on here?
10:14I am using this abandoned army base to test my secret equipment.
10:20First, I use this powerful solar disk to turn this icy wasteland into a tropical paradise.
10:26And now, I am about to melt the polar ice cap and flood the world.
10:32It's not nice to fool Mother Nature.
10:35You do and you're going to be in big trouble, Mr. Man.
10:38That ice cap is government property.
10:40Me in trouble?
10:41You are about to be eliminated.
10:47Squealy, as troubles go, I think he's got you beat.
10:54This is the end, you military meddlers.
10:58What are you calling a military meddler, you snowbrain?
11:02Enough talk.
11:03Finish them off, Krulik.
11:05As you wish, Doctor.
11:07The army just showed you, Buster.
11:14Wee-wee!
11:15I think it's time for a change of scenery.
11:17How right you are, Laverne!
11:20To the rear, run!
11:24I'll catch them, Doctor.
11:26No, Krulik.
11:27I have a better way to dispose of them.
11:33Patience, my pet.
11:34You will soon have a tasty meal.
11:37I think we can stop running now.
11:43I give the orders around here.
11:46I think we can stop running now.
11:49I think my heart already has.
11:55So, what was that?
11:57Now, Laverne, it's probably just one of nature's furry little creatures.
12:01Try furry big creature.
12:03Remember, you are army girls.
12:06Girls, there is nothing to fear, but fear itself.
12:12Unless you count that.
12:14Retreat!
12:17Girls, here's your assignment.
12:19Quick, help me at that tree.
12:21Forget it, Squealy.
12:23It's every pig for himself.
12:24Disobeying battlefield orders.
12:27We'll pay through the snout for this.
12:32We'll be safe up here, Laverne.
12:34Yeah.
12:35Lucky for us, polar bears can't climb trees.
12:38You know it, and I know it.
12:40Too bad the polar bear doesn't know it.
12:41Okay, Bozo, now you've gone too far.
12:47This happens to be a military outpost.
12:51Look at you.
12:52You're out of uniform.
12:54You need a shave.
12:55You are a mess.
12:57And another thing.
12:58Stay that attention when I'm talking to you.
12:59It works every time.
13:05You better hope so.
13:07Because here he comes again.
13:10Start climbing and that's an order.
13:14Who says it's lonely at the top?
13:17End of the ride, Laverne.
13:19This is where we get off.
13:20With those intruders out of the way,
13:25I can proceed with the meltdown of the polar ice cap.
13:28In a few moments, the world will be flooded,
13:31and only I have the power to save it.
13:34What's going on?
13:35We're under attack.
13:37Who is responsible for this?
13:40You.
13:41I might have known you swine.
13:43Swine, huh?
13:44Okay, Bob, that does it.
13:46I'm putting you on report
13:47for getting personal with army personnel, all right?
13:50Frish, pig.
13:52You have disrupted my plans for the last time.
13:55Krulik, finish him off.
13:57With pleasure.
14:03Time to regroup the troops.
14:08My, my, my, a shortwave radio.
14:10Attention all units.
14:12Army, Navy, 4-H club.
14:15There is some nut here
14:16who's going to melt the ice caps and flood the world.
14:18Send a leamy wagon quick,
14:20and let the mops.
14:21Someone might hear you, little pig,
14:24if the radio was plugged in.
14:26Uh-oh.
14:27Grab him.
14:29Mother, get out of here.
14:38Oh, this little pig has an idea.
14:42Where did he go?
14:44Honk, honk, honk.
14:47There's something strange about that penguin.
14:59Dear, the pig has done it again.
15:06He's escaped into the jungle.
15:08He won't get far.
15:09After him, my pet.
15:11We'll never get out of this jungle.
15:15Never, do you hear me?
15:17Never, never, never.
15:19Now, Laverne.
15:21Thanks, Cheryl.
15:22I needed that.
15:23Listen, what's that noise?
15:24It must be the polar bear again.
15:26Rest period's over.
15:30Look, all of a sudden,
15:31it's gone from summer to winter.
15:33Time sure flies when you're having fun.
15:35Uh-oh.
15:36It's the end of the line.
15:38In more ways than one.
15:40Cheryl,
15:41I want you to know it's been a good life.
15:43Short, but good.
15:44Dainey!
15:46DeFazio!
15:47Squealy!
15:47Squealy!
15:49Am I glad to see you!
15:53Me, too!
15:57Take your lips off the commanding pig.
16:00Yuck!
16:01Laverne,
16:01we've been kissing a pig.
16:03Don't worry.
16:04I'm sure there are shots for it.
16:06Laverne,
16:06are there shots for that?
16:08The bear!
16:11That bear certainly has a limited vocabulary.
16:14It all means the same thing.
16:16Lunch.
16:17I don't think you should have done that.
16:19Why not?
16:20Because of that.
16:21I see what you mean.
16:28It hurts!
16:29Make it stop!
16:39Whoa!
16:41Whoa!
16:42Make it stop!
16:44My polar bear didn't stop them.
16:46But this will.
16:49Uh-oh.
16:50There goes the neighborhood.
16:52Look out!
16:53Everybody duck!
16:56Whoa!
16:56Whoa!
16:56Whoa!
16:57Whoa!
16:57Whoa!
16:57Whoa!
16:57Whoa!
16:57Whoa!
16:58Whoa!
16:58Whoa!
16:59Whoa!
16:59Whoa!
16:59Whoa!
17:01I have the polar ice cap within range, Doctor.
17:05Splendid, Krulik.
17:07When I throw this switch,
17:08it will mean the end of the world as we know it.
17:11And then,
17:12I shall become its ruler.
17:15Looks like we got here just in the time of Nick.
17:18And I've got an idea how to rain on Dr. Ozone's parade.
17:22You've got an idea.
17:24This I have got to see.
17:25Well, we know what we're doing, squealy.
17:28Charlie, what are we doing?
17:30We're going back into show business.
17:34All is in readiness, Krulik.
17:36Start the countdown.
17:38Five, four, three, two.
17:41Ho, ho, ho.
17:42Tis the season to be darling.
17:45Ho, ho, ho.
17:46Who are you?
17:47Who do I look like?
17:48I'm Santa Claus, of course.
17:49What are you doing here?
17:51I live here.
17:51What are you doing here?
17:53It is Santa Claus.
17:54I'd recognize that outfit anywhere.
17:57And these are my faithful reindeer.
17:59I said, these are my faithful reindeer.
18:03That's your cue to enter.
18:06Can't.
18:06Our antlers are stuck.
18:08Come on, you can do it.
18:10Up, Donner.
18:11Up, Blitzen.
18:15You're such klutzes.
18:16You can't take them anywhere.
18:18It's all Blitzen's fault.
18:20I'm Donner.
18:21You're Blitzen.
18:21Yeah, well, all us reindeer look alike to me.
18:25Hold on.
18:25There's something familiar about you two.
18:28Naturally.
18:29We're in all the picture books.
18:31Now I know you.
18:33The two meddling army girls.
18:35And you're that nosy pig.
18:39Oof.
18:40Enough of this masquerade.
18:41I'm sending you into a deep breeze for all eternity.
18:48Say farewell.
18:51Hold everything.
18:52I'm not going anywhere looking like this.
18:54Oh, who's going to see us?
18:56Laverne, in 500 years, some handsome scientist might just defrost us.
19:00And you know how very important first impressions are.
19:02You're right, Cheryl.
19:03Let me have that mirror.
19:04No, give it to me.
19:05I won't give it to me.
19:06I'm not through with it yet.
19:08Freeze them.
19:11Oh, no.
19:12What's this?
19:13I believe it's called an icicle built for two.
19:17Ho, ho, ho.
19:19Ho, ho, ho.
19:22We'll defrost these two once we're back in the States.
19:26Meanwhile, both of you girls deserve a medal for saving the world.
19:30I'd rather have a night on the town.
19:32And you know here, the night's six months long.
19:36Pay no attention, Captain.
19:38Laverne is so unsuave.
19:40So, uh, what are you doing Friday night?
19:42Not out, Cheryl.
19:43I was the one who took care of Dr. Ozone.
19:45Well, I was the one who took care of Krulik.
19:47Now, get a woofer.
19:48I deserve a medal for taking care of you two ding-a-lings.
19:51That's right, I do.
19:52I'm telling you the truth.
19:53Look, you don't have to go through what I have to go through with you two all the time.
19:57I'm not happy here.
19:58I'm not a happy pig, okay?
19:59I said it.
19:59It's out.
20:00I'm glad it's out.
20:00All right?
20:01What are you talking about, Cheryl?
20:03Why was the one who took care of Dr. Ozone?
20:05Oh, that's so unfair.
20:07The ship is leaving without us.
20:09Oh, now we'll never get back to the States.
20:11We'll be stuck here forever.
20:13Don't worry.
20:14I'll get you out of here.
20:15But you girls have to promise to pull together.
20:18Oh, Squealy, we will.
20:20We will.
20:21Mush.
20:22Mush.
20:23Nice going, Cheryl.
20:24You had to tell them we pulled together.
20:27Mush.
20:27Mush.
20:28Mush.
20:28Ho, ho, ho.
20:29And the pig gets the last laugh.
20:31Ho, ho, ho.
20:36Is it a bird?
20:37Is it a plane?
20:38Nah, it's that flamboyant flyboy Roger Ramjet buzzing the skies over Funtown and coming up next.
20:43Then at 5 Eastern, will the penguin manage to pull the wool over the dynamic duo's eyes?
20:48Or will they catch on before it's too late?
20:50Stay tuned, Bat-Buddies, and don't miss Batman, here on the Family Channel.
20:54Oh, my God.
20:55What's going on?
20:57You guys are wonderful.
20:57Wait a minute.
20:57Let's go.
20:58Hey.
20:58Put your ist.
20:59Let's go.
20:59Miss Pandemic.
20:59The End
21:29The End
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