- 2 weeks ago
Season 6 kicks off with a bang! In Episode 1, Jeremy Clarkson pits the Range Rover Sport against a Challenger II tank in a shocking showdown. Meanwhile Richard Hammond and James May take on a hilarious 5-a-side football match using Toyota Aygos. Reviews include the sleek Mercedes-Benz CLS-AMG and the spacious Honda Element. Celebrity guest James Nesbitt takes on the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car track. Dive into horsepower, absurdity, and classic Top Gear mayhem.
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Follow our channel for more car crazed mayhem. Alot more episodes to come that you don't want to miss. Like our videos and share with other car lovers!!
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MotorTranscript
00:00Tonight, Toyota's new small car. Can it play football?
00:08The new Range Rover Sport. Can it outrun a 120mm tank shell?
00:14Great car.
00:16And James Nesbitt. How will he get on in our reasonably priced car?
00:24Hello and welcome to Top Gear.
00:26Now, we've been told that in this new series, we've got to feature more green cars.
00:32So, here's one.
00:40It's really the greenest car we could find, really.
00:43And hopefully, it will keep the environmentals happy,
00:46because coming up now is what we've got in this series for normal people.
00:51Right.
00:56What?
00:58I do that lap time in the van.
01:00Hello, it's all over.
01:02The next shot's going to be me overtaking him.
01:15Here we come.
01:16This little explodes.
01:18Flipping head.
01:20Chicken.
01:22What a sound.
01:23I have got to beat those boys.
01:34Driver, give him the berries.
01:36Oh, this is easy.
01:40Good.
01:41Big shot.
01:42Yes.
01:43Go.
01:44You got it.
01:45Yes.
01:46Yes.
01:47Go.
01:48You got it.
01:53Oh, yes.
01:54A smorgasbord of excitement there.
01:57And we're going to start in a similar vein with a four-door Mercedes saloon car.
02:03This is it, the Mercedes CLS.
02:10At the front, it certainly looks like a normal Mercedes.
02:13Same grilles, same headlamps.
02:15But from there backwards, it goes berserk.
02:19The idea is that you have a boring four-door saloon which looks like an elegant two-door coupe.
02:31I have to say, I think it's epic.
02:34I love some of the details too.
02:39The pillarless doors and the brake lights which look like aliens.
02:45Then inside you have a dirty great slab of unpolished wood.
02:50And seats which massage you as you drive along.
02:55Of course, you're probably thinking that with such a smooth coupe shape, the back seats would only be suitable for Anne Boleyn.
03:09Well, yes.
03:10There are only two seats rather than the more usual three.
03:14But there is enough space for people with heads.
03:17I mean, you'd be fine back here for a short trip to the golf club.
03:21And you would be going to the golf club, actually, because the satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations and golf courses.
03:29Everything the modern Mercedes driver needs.
03:36Thing is, though, if I had one of these cars, I certainly wouldn't waste my life playing golf.
03:44You see, this may have a big, very heavy body.
03:48And it may have the foundations from a humdrum saloon, but, um...
03:54Watch this.
04:03You can have the CLS with a V6 or a V8.
04:08But what I've got here is the AMG supercharged V8.
04:13That's five and a half litres and, as near as makes no difference, 500 brake horsepower.
04:21And that means nought to 60 in four and a half seconds.
04:27There's so much talk that when you put your foot down, you can actually hear it growling.
04:33I'm so angry about being an engine.
04:39I want it to be an eagle or a lion.
04:45Sadly, you don't get Merc's new seven-speed automatic gearbox.
04:50The engine would just rip it apart.
04:54But you do get the same brake technology that you find on the SLR supercar.
05:01So, when you hit the pedal...
05:06...actually hurts.
05:12It really does, actually. It feels like my face is being pulled off.
05:16Ow!
05:19On top of this, the CLS is set up to be 40% stiffer and sportier than the normal E-Class.
05:27So, let's disengage the traction control and engage the Airmatic DC Sports 2 setting on the suspension...
05:38...and see what's what.
05:40Whoa!
05:44Whoa!
05:46It's so controllable!
05:50It's unbelievable!
05:55Big slide!
06:00Come on, on those brakes, turn in, feel the bank start to go.
06:05It's an opposite lock, Paul.
06:07That's amazing!
06:08I was expecting it to be a big, wallowy suet pudding of a thing.
06:18Oh, yes!
06:20Oh, yes!
06:22This is a fabulous handling thing.
06:28The only trouble is...
06:30...that even with the traction control turned off...
06:33...the brakes are still being used to try and stop these slides.
06:39And, er, well, you can see the effect that has.
06:43Look, it says here, they've overheated.
06:45It's telling me to drive carefully.
06:47OK, I'll ease it down to 140, but, frankly, I'm having too much fun to go any slower than that.
06:57Prices for the CLS start at 43,000 pounds.
07:00This supercharged version is 70,000 pounds, and that's a lot.
07:08But then it is a lot of car.
07:09In fact, there's only one thing that would stop me from buying one.
07:17It's a Mercedes.
07:20There was a time when Mercedes was a byword for absolute quality and fastidious customer care.
07:26But ten years ago, the top brass decided their cars were needlessly over-engineered.
07:33In other words, they decided to save money by cutting corners.
07:40The result is plain to see.
07:43In 1994, Mercedes was first in the JD Power Customer Satisfaction Survey in America.
07:49In 2004, they were nine places from the bottom.
07:56They say that today the quality is coming back.
08:00They say they've cut their profits from three to one billion a year to make sure their cars are built properly.
08:08But they say lots of things.
08:11I mean, Mercedes say that this engine is hand-built at the AMG plant by just a few dozen of their most highly skilled engineers.
08:21Look, they even put a plaque on it saying that this particular one was hand-crafted by Torsten someone or other.
08:28Thing is, though, I happen to know that AMG make 18,000 of these engines every year.
08:35That's 100 a shift.
08:37By hand?
08:38I really hope my worries about quality are unfounded because I love this car, this thug in a silk dressing gown.
08:49And I just hope it's as well made as they say it is.
08:52Anyway, enough of all that quality stuff. I want to go back a bit. How many of those engines does AMG make by hand every year?
09:0118,000. And that's not including the ones they make for Pagani with the Zonda.
09:06It's over 18,000 by hand. I mean, Fritz must be the hardest working bloke in the whole of Europe.
09:10He is.
09:11I want to come home tonight. I must make another 20,000 engines. Meet my hands.
09:16Fingers are warm to spawn.
09:18Yeah, I know. It's amazing.
09:20There's no wonder he gets the odd one wrong.
09:22Anyway, we must now find out how fast this car goes around the track, which means we have to hand it over to our tame racing driver.
09:29Some say he never blinks and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves. All we know is he's called the Stig.
09:39And away he goes. Oh, lots of wheels spin off the line there. The Stig has the traction control very, very off.
09:46Up to the first corner. Here he comes, sliding a little bit on the way in. Loads of tyre squeal, but it's drowned out by the sounds of that big, angry, supercharged V8.
09:54Or it would be if the Stig weren't listening to his new collection of prod rock. Focus there. Very good.
10:04He's leading to Chicago. Big, big slide on the way out. And he's on his way down to the Hammerhead.
10:10Braking in this car so brutal it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.
10:16Look how flat it is round there, though. Very heavy car, but he's got it in the Airmatic 2 setting.
10:25Coming up into the follow through.
10:30Listen to that noise. It's like Barry White eating wasps.
10:36There you go. Over the first half, the CLS was very, very quick. Can he maintain it all the way to the line?
10:42Into Gambon, kicking up dust, and across the line.
10:44Now, this is the first opportunity we've ever had to see how fast one of these AMG engine mercs will go round our track.
10:52The only one we've ever had before was the SL, which is way down here for two reasons.
10:57First, it was very, very wet, and secondly, it was mine, and I told the Stig to back off a bit.
11:02Anyway, this has gone round in one minute 26.9, which is way up here.
11:07Four-door saloon, only .1 of a second slower than a Ferrari 575. That is a phenomenal car.
11:15And now the news, and of course the biggest news whilst we've been off air, is that Rover is over.
11:22Yep, finished.
11:23And it's your fault.
11:24It was. You did that, in fact.
11:25So I gather, yes, it's all my fault. Very sorry about that.
11:28But more practically, there must now be loads of Rovers lying around that people could go and buy.
11:35Have a look at this. Aerial shots of Britain's Rovers.
11:38They're all Rovers.
11:40Thousands of them.
11:42So why can't we just go and buy them?
11:44Because there's some sort of legal wrangle that says they can't sell them yet, because it's not clear who owns them or who's owed money or whatever, but they will sell them eventually.
11:51Because I was thinking about this the other day, that Rover 75, the diesel, has a BMW engine, so presumably BMW dealers can service that one.
12:00Yes, and the other one has the K-series engine, which has been in Land Rovers and what have you, so they'll be able to service that.
12:05Warranties?
12:07Buy a warranty.
12:08So you can do that. So you're saying, you've always liked it, haven't you, Rover 75?
12:11I've always said it didn't help them, but the Rover 75 is a great car.
12:14So when they sell them, they can put a pick-your-own sign on these fields.
12:17That big juicy red one is the one for me.
12:22How much discount do you reckon you'll get?
12:24It could be 30, 40, maybe more percent off.
12:27Buy a Rover. We can say that now they've gone bust.
12:29Now, yes, you may have noticed this week that some Greenpeace activists broke into the Land Rover factory, chained themselves to the production line claiming that Range Rovers, I don't know what they claim they do, but they do something wrong anyway.
12:43So we're kind of with Greenpeace on this. We think it's ridiculous that town and city centres are clogged up with enormous gas-guzzling vehicles that only have one person on board.
12:54So we thought that we'd stage a protest of our own. And here it is.
12:58This is Hammersmith Bus Depot at Rush Hour, and we've handcuffed ourselves to a bus.
13:05Buses count 48 badges a week. Buses burn planets.
13:09CFCs coming out of the back of that bus are enough to fill the Pacific Ocean every three weeks.
13:16You're making this stuff. That's what you do to get in the papers, you just make up statistics, they get printed and you sound really good.
13:21Right.
13:22What do we want?
13:23A Range Rover!
13:24Why do we want it?
13:25As soon as we can arrange easy finance, right?
13:27Well, as soon as the secret...
13:29See, the bus driver was so angry, he had to come up and ask for an autograph.
13:32Yeah.
13:33And then, look, they put a bus in front of us so we couldn't be seen by all the passengers, but we just chained ourselves to that one, then.
13:40Cold, dead fingers will have to be prized from this bus.
13:44The only way I'm leaving this bus is without this arm.
13:47Yeah.
13:48Once in a man's life, once in a time, put your feet down and say back hello.
13:55Yeah, now, you see, what happened here is with the police, really nice policemen, they really were, and they said they've got better things to do, really, than deal with three middle-class boys chained to a bus, and wouldn't mind going away.
14:06So, this is what happened.
14:10We ran away.
14:11We ran away.
14:12We ran away.
14:13We're not as good at protesting, I think, as Greenpeace.
14:15What's our first go at it? We're new to it.
14:17Yeah.
14:18Now, you know Alistair Darling?
14:19Yes.
14:20Got a photograph of him here.
14:21He still looks like a badger, doesn't he?
14:22He does.
14:23He's our transport minister.
14:24He has appointed a minister of road safety, whose name is Lady Man.
14:30It's not.
14:31No.
14:32His name is Lady Man, which means that our, there's a picture of him.
14:35Our transport department is now being run by Darling and Lady Man.
14:39Fantastic.
14:40Excellent.
14:41That's true.
14:42Mind you, I've done some checking on this guy.
14:44Okay, guess what he drives?
14:45Bus.
14:46No.
14:47A tandem bicycle.
14:48No.
14:49Badger.
14:50No, no, no.
14:51He drives an Alfa Romeo.
14:520156.
14:53Really?
14:54And, until recently, he had nine points on his license.
14:56He's one of us.
14:57Welcome on board, Mr. Lady Man.
14:59Pop down any time you like.
15:00Bring Mr. Darling with you.
15:02I'm gonna move on.
15:03Um, what's the ugliest car ever made?
15:06Mazda MX-5.
15:07You stupid man.
15:09Can you say a Mazda MX-5 is not good looking?
15:14Not at all.
15:15You're just not in touch with your woman's side there.
15:18Can I suggest the Hyundai Matrix as the easiest car of all time?
15:21No, you can't.
15:22That's hideous.
15:23The whole of the rule book on what is ugly has been rewritten by a company called Sanyong
15:29with this.
15:31Oh, my God.
15:32Oh, my God.
15:33Oh.
15:34What the hell are they thinking?
15:35Look at the tight.
15:36Look at the wheels only nine inches big.
15:38But look at this.
15:39It's just, it's big gloopy front.
15:40I might be sick.
15:42The thing about this car is it's gonna be sold in Britain and they say it will cost less
15:46than $19,000.
15:48Well, it will cost less.
15:49About $19,000 less.
15:51That is.
15:52Remove it.
15:53Remove it from my sight.
15:54Now, um, Top Gear needs your help because, uh, in this series we're going to be trying to
16:00find what is the best driving song ever written.
16:03Yes.
16:04Okay, now this is a song that when it comes on the radio you just can't help, like, putting
16:07your foot down a bit.
16:08But this is a driving song, which is, it's not just your favourite song.
16:12Cause sometimes your favourite driving song sounds rubbish out the car, but in the car
16:15it just works.
16:16I already know what my-
16:17Please don't tell us any of your favourite tracks at all.
16:20Don't talk about your music.
16:21Radar Love.
16:22Golden Earring.
16:23I've been driving all night, my hands are wet on the wheel.
16:26This problem-
16:27Er, right, anyone else come on?
16:29What other songs?
16:30Chemical Brut-
16:31I was about to get on to this.
16:33Can we try to remember, when we're voting for this, that music has been happening before-
16:38Right, the last two-
16:39But can we ignore Jeremy on that? Chemical Brothers is perfectly acceptable.
16:43You're just old and you won't know it.
16:45He'll vote for Bustard and McFly.
16:48Maroon 5, maybe Girls Aloud.
16:51Oh, that's a really-
16:52Now let me guess the price of things these days.
16:54And these newfangled CDs, you can't get the needle to stay on them, can you?
16:57He's-
16:58Buff is bad, he's got a picture of H out of steps.
17:01You can see it's going to be a big debate, this, and that's what we're really hoping for,
17:05so do please write to us at Top Gear, BBC Television, Wood Lane, London, W12.
17:12Or, of course, you can go onto our website, which is bbc.co.uk forward slash Top Gear.
17:17Do please let us know what your favourite driving song ever is.
17:21And I'll try and keep them away from it.
17:23Er, anyway, moving on, Hondas, they're, erm, reliable.
17:27Very, yes, they are.
17:28They're practical.
17:29They are.
17:30They are.
17:31They are quite economical.
17:32They are.
17:33Good residual value.
17:34Yeah.
17:35They're not very funky, though, are they?
17:36No.
17:37No, no, no, no.
17:38No.
17:39I think I've found one that is.
17:48Amazingly, all these funky details can be found on a Honda.
17:57It's called the Element.
17:58It has a 2.4-litre petrol engine, and it looks like the love child of a Range Rover and a Nike Trainer.
18:07Sadly, though, there is a problem.
18:09Honda don't sell this car in the UK, and they say that's because they've already got enough great cars for you to choose from.
18:18You can buy one if you live in America, and for a modest £10,000.
18:25In fact, this car was designed there, and specifically for 22-year-old American men who have left college but don't have jobs.
18:33You do wish they could be a bit more specific about this.
18:36Anyway, I really can't understand why Honda won't sell it in this country.
18:41Because not only does it look funkier than James Brown's trousers, this car has a lot going for it.
18:48It does have the makings of that really rare beast, a family car with charisma.
18:54And it's clever, too.
18:56Now, normally, doors are just something to stop you from falling out on roundabouts, but these are much more interesting.
19:05And look at this. Excellent rear legroom, and pretty good luggage space as well.
19:12Now, normally in this kind of car, you get one or the other, but rarely both.
19:16You just pull a little tab down here, and they fold completely flat, and then you just pull it up.
19:22And when they finish fighting, the seats can either fold up against the walls, or team up with each other to make beds.
19:32It's rugged, too. The seats are covered with the sort of material you'd find on outdoor waterproof action clothing.
19:38And the whole floor is covered in hosed-down rubber.
19:41You know, I really can't find the catch. It's a family car. It's an outdoor adventure car.
19:53It's got funky combat trouser looks. I like the sort of pointlessly pointy glasses on the instruments.
20:00I like these heater controls shaped like a star trooper's helmet. It's got a little cubby hole from the iPod.
20:07What this car might be, then, is something quite momentous.
20:11I really think we might have the world's first cool Honda.
20:15But before we can confirm this, we have to put the element through a very tough test.
20:24You see, there's a very good reason why Hondas are generally not considered very cool in this country.
20:30And it's because research shows that the average age of the British Honda driver is... old.
20:40So we've brought the element to that epicentre of British oldness.
20:45Eastbourne. More specifically, to the Guildridge Park Bowling Club, founded in 1920 by Sir Francis Drake.
20:56Naturally, you can guess what its members drive.
20:59Yeah, I've got a Honda.
21:00You've got a Honda. You've got a Honda. Who else has got a Honda?
21:03There's a lot of Hondas here. There's quite a few Hondas.
21:06I love my Honda.
21:09The question is, though, what do they think of the element?
21:12If they hate it, it could be cool. But if they like it, we're back to square one.
21:17It's a new design. It's not available in Britain yet. It might be, if you like it.
21:22It's big, isn't it?
21:23What size?
21:242.3 litre.
21:26It's 2.4 litre, yeah.
21:28I think it'll be heavy on petrol. I don't think it'll be economical.
21:31Quite right, Madden. You see, I like this car, so I'm kind of hoping they don't.
21:36The thing I'm interested in is what you think of the sort of shape. I mean, it's chunky and it's sort of combat style. Do you like that?
21:43For people at our age, no. I think it's more appropriate for young mothers taking their children to school.
21:50I'm not struck on the two-tone effect myself.
21:53So you're saying it's difficult to climb into?
21:55I wonder what you get to the gallon, then.
21:57And what do you think of the idea of rubber carpet?
21:59You'd have to fix it. I nearly slipped through.
22:02Yes, exactly. That's a bit like putting a rug on a polished oak floor in the hallway, isn't it?
22:07But don't you think it's a bit sort of young person and funky, like trainers and electronic devices?
22:14Cool, I suppose they'd say, wouldn't they?
22:17They retired for a game of bowls to consider their verdict.
22:21And then it was time for the moment of truth.
22:24Would the element be a car for people who like hip-hop or for people waiting for a hip-hop?
22:30OK, ladies and gentlemen, you've all had plenty of time to look at the new Honda Element.
22:35What I'd like to know is, if this car were on sale in Britain, who would buy one?
22:40I wouldn't. No.
22:42Which of you wouldn't buy it?
22:44Yes! It's a cool Honda!
22:47You know, I have to say, it's a very funky car, this.
23:01I really, really do like it.
23:03Because you see, the thing is with most MPVs that are like Renault Scenic, the mini ones,
23:07what you're actually saying when you buy one of those is,
23:09look, I've had children, I've served my biological purpose in life,
23:13and now I'm going to spend the rest of my life turning slowly beige.
23:18Yes, exactly.
23:19You're the sort of bloke who gets up in the morning and says,
23:21you know, I think my trousers would be easier to put on if they were elasticated.
23:25Exactly. This, though, it changes everything.
23:27Now, Hondas say they won't import it to Britain because they already sell enough exciting cars here.
23:32Exactly.
23:33Well, there's the NSX, the S2000 and the Civic Type R, that's three.
23:38Three.
23:39I think we could probably have a fourth without too much trouble.
23:42I agree with you.
23:43But the thing is, you could personally import one of these,
23:46because it is essentially a Japanese car, so they make it in right-hand drive.
23:49It's got the engine out of the old person's Accord in it,
23:53so your Honda dealer would be able to look after it.
23:55The only slight problem is it's 10 grand in the States for your out-of-work bloke.
23:59By the time you've got it on the road in Britain, more like 17.
24:03I know that's a rip-off, but it's still only the same as a Renault Scenic.
24:07Exactly.
24:08One of these, I really would.
24:09Anyway, we've now got to move on and put a star in our reasonably priced car.
24:14Our guest this week is an actor, a very, very fine actor, no denying that.
24:18He's won a BAFTA.
24:19But recently, in a newspaper interview, he said he was a very, very fine driver.
24:23Well, we'll be the judge of that, I think.
24:26Ladies and gentlemen, Jimmy Nesbitt!
24:28How are you?
24:30How are you?
24:32How are you?
24:34Now, you've just turned 40.
24:43Yeah, I've turned 40 this year.
24:45Um, it's a problem when that happens, I find.
24:48Because it is that moment when you realise all of your life's dreams are not actually...
24:52You're never going to quit.
24:53You can remember your 40th easily.
24:54Yeah, it was a while back.
24:56Right, yeah.
24:57And it's a moment...
24:58What's 50 like?
24:59Is that...?
25:01No, I'm joking, I'm joking.
25:02So you've got a full head of hair?
25:03No, that's the problem.
25:05You see, you've got the thing, you look at me, you don't like going bald, do you?
25:08I'm not for it, necessarily.
25:09No, but you look at me, you can see it going, I'll look in the mirror and think, full head
25:14of hair?
25:15Yeah.
25:16But you've just...
25:17No.
25:18That's my problem.
25:19I noticed there was no overhead cameras at all.
25:20But you said, people behind me go...
25:22I'm not bald, look, I've got all my hair.
25:24No, I've been for it.
25:25My wife threw a great party.
25:27On the day, I had a fantastic sort of surprise where my three best mates from Ireland turned
25:32up and we played golf, rock and roll.
25:37So when I look back on my 40th, I will look back on it fondly.
25:41I'm telling you, you won't.
25:42Really?
25:43Because it's the moment in your life, and I know I've had five years of being in my 40s
25:46now.
25:47What happens is you wake up every day and a bit of your body that worked perfectly well
25:51the day before has broken in the night.
25:54Oh, it's very depressing.
25:55Oh, so my memory's gone completely.
25:57I can't, you know, it's, I'm sure I'm doting.
25:59Do you have the word doting over here?
26:00Jeremy Clarkson.
26:01Yeah, yeah.
26:03Motoring show that we do.
26:04I'm John Hanna.
26:05Four weddings and a funeral.
26:06You've had to, I've just gotten it.
26:10You've had to get in shape, of course, because Murphy's Law's back this week.
26:13This Thursday, the 26th.
26:14This Thursday.
26:15And you do have to be quite fit for that.
26:17Well, we changed it a lot this year.
26:18We tried to kind of make it, I suppose, a bit darker and more real.
26:22We tried to create this character now who has this sort of exceptional force of will
26:26and a refusal to submit to fear.
26:28And it was an excuse to kind of get other people to pay for me to get fit.
26:33And so I got this fantastic personal trainer called Mona McIntyre, who is fit indeed.
26:40And she sort of trained me three times a week to try and become all hard.
26:46Did you have to do?
26:47That's come out wrong.
26:48There's no man like that.
26:49She's one of my wife's best friends and mine as well.
26:54And her husband Chris is a Travicalist.
26:55Hard.
26:56Good.
26:57You also learned how to break down and assemble a gun together in the...
27:01Yeah, well, I play an armourer.
27:02There's a whole episode where I have to recommission AK-47s.
27:06Just the man?
27:07Well, I've got an AK-47, right?
27:09Yeah, I just do.
27:10Yeah, and Ross Kemp from Ultimate Force, right?
27:13He took the back off the other day and he couldn't get it back on again.
27:15No, it's easy to strip them.
27:16It's very hard putting them back.
27:17I can't get...
27:18The breech block and all that and putting all that back in.
27:20No, if a burglar comes now, I'm sorry, I can't shoot him.
27:24Can you mend a car then?
27:26No, I'm not great with cars.
27:28They're quite complicated actually, to be honest.
27:30Yeah.
27:31No, I never knew an awful lot about cars, really.
27:33That is obvious.
27:35Right.
27:36From your car history.
27:37What we do is, all the guests we have on the show, we have like charts.
27:40Yeah.
27:41People who arrived the latest.
27:42People who, you know, had the biggest entourage.
27:45We don't name names.
27:46Jordan, Vinnie.
27:47Oh!
27:48But no, we do have a chart for who had the worst car history.
27:51Which Rob Brydon has always been at the top of.
27:54Yeah.
27:55But you...
27:56It's not great.
27:57It's...
27:58You started...
27:59Okay, you started well with a larder.
28:01Well, I passed my test on a ladder.
28:03But I love ladders because they were exactly the way you draw cars as a kid.
28:06You draw a car like that.
28:07Yeah.
28:08But it takes a while to pass your test on a ladder because it takes so long to turn it.
28:12The lock on it.
28:13I was going to say, a three point turn was presumably even in...
28:15No, it was...
28:16Well, you didn't need to do it in Northern Ireland.
28:17You just went to a big field and said, eventually try and get round there.
28:20And then I had a fiesta that my mum and dad gave me, which I drove from Stringerar down to London.
28:25The next day, Sonya, my wife at that stage, who had just passed her test, within 10 minutes, drove it into a bus.
28:32But then I bought Helen Baxendale's Saab 900.
28:36Oh, that's an improvement.
28:38It was great.
28:39I loved it.
28:40There's a chair at the back.
28:41Someone's got a Saab.
28:42Nice bloke.
28:43Helen Baxendale driving, which is indeed why I bought it.
28:48But I bought it for 1,800 quid and I drove it to Manchester to do the first or second series of Kofi.
28:56Thought, oh, I'd better leave it in for a service.
28:58Took it to the Saab garage in Castlefield.
29:00Two grand I had to spend on it.
29:02And the people at the garage said, well, she clearly knew there was something seriously wrong with it.
29:07So, Helen Baxendale is Arthur Daly.
29:09Yeah, he's a liar.
29:10Now, tonight, of course, we reunited you with your dodgy past.
29:15Yes.
29:16Because you were put into our reasonably priced car.
29:19Right.
29:20And, to be honest, on your practice runs, things didn't go that well.
29:25No.
29:26No, not great.
29:27Anybody want to see?
29:28Yeah.
29:29Okay, let's just have a look at one of the practices here.
29:31I bet this is coming to the second to last corner.
29:33Everyone goes on.
29:34No, I thought I was too well here.
29:35Here we go.
29:36Oh, f*** me, I forgot.
29:40Look at this.
29:41Look at this.
29:42Look at the car control.
29:43It's the best piece of car control I've ever seen.
29:56I've never seen anyone get a car.
29:57I know.
29:58So it's gone beyond 90 degrees on grass.
30:00I'm not giving in.
30:01I'm not giving in.
30:02It's annoying that because that was going to be my only fast lap.
30:06I was flying.
30:07And I just, I was going down the end.
30:09And Stig told me to try and, because I was getting tense.
30:12And he told me to take my mind off and talk to myself.
30:14So I was trying to do various impressions.
30:16And I'm the world's worst impressionist.
30:17And on that last straight coming to the corner, I was doing the world's worst Murray Walker.
30:22And I just, but I only realised when I passed the 100 sign which I was supposed to break.
30:28I was at the 50 sign.
30:29I thought, oh, I missed it.
30:31So we have a look at the lap proper now.
30:34Shall we see how it went?
30:35Yeah.
30:36Play the tape.
30:37Play the tape.
30:38Play the tape.
30:39Yeah, we'll buy a new clutch for next week when Jack D is here.
30:45This is a tricky corner through here.
30:46I know, it's not easy that.
30:47It rolls all over the places.
30:48I know, I just couldn't go all over there.
30:49And then I died there.
30:50Look, I'm dying.
30:51No, it's alright.
30:52It's steady.
30:53You see slowing there is important.
30:54No, it's important otherwise you just slide wide and you have it.
30:55I'm coming out of the chicane now.
30:56Did it relax you?
30:57Did that make you feel better?
30:58That's ridiculous.
30:59Yeah, that wasn't good.
31:00Leave it there or fix it in the morning.
31:02Anyone else?
31:03No, no, no.
31:04I don't know.
31:05I don't know.
31:06I don't know.
31:07Oh my God!
31:08You've slowed it up.
31:09Woo hoo!
31:10Here we go, second to last corner.
31:11You're getting ready.
31:12Yeah, I'm getting ready.
31:13You see slowing there is important.
31:14No, it's important otherwise you just slide wide and you have it.
31:15I'm coming out of the chicane now.
31:16I'm getting ready to be up.
31:17Did it relax you?
31:19Did that make you feel better?
31:20That's ridiculous.
31:21Yeah, that wasn't good.
31:22Yeah, that wasn't good.
31:23Leave it there or fix it in the morning, man.
31:24Anyone else?
31:25No, no, no, I don't know.
31:26Here we go, second to last corner.
31:29No, not easy, that.
31:32Made it that time, all right.
31:35Through Gambon, and then where we go, across the line.
31:48Where would you like to...
31:50I'd like to be faster than the blind man.
31:52Yes.
31:54He's here.
31:55I would like to be faster than Coogan.
31:57Well, Coogan, you're okay on Coogan, because he's a mate, isn't he?
32:00He came here on...
32:02Just honestly, it was monsoonical the day he came.
32:05That was a really...
32:06Because he's a good driver, Steve.
32:07He really is, but he just got stumped by the weather.
32:10Well, you did better than that.
32:11Right, okay.
32:12You did a lot better than that, in fact.
32:13You did it in one minute...
32:1651.3.
32:19You're quicker than Christian Slater, man!
32:22He was quick!
32:23So, for a man with a rubbish history in cars, that was an exceptionally good time, I have to say.
32:34It's not like you've had 20 years of practice.
32:36Anyway, it's been an absolute pleasure having you here.
32:38Ladies and gentlemen, Jimmy Nesbitt!
32:50Now, earlier on, James, not Nesbitt, the other bloke,
32:54drove a car that the Japanese won't be selling in Britain.
32:58Now, here's one that they will be.
33:00This is the new Toyota Aigo, and it's a tiny city car.
33:13The smallest vehicle that Toyota has ever sold in Europe.
33:17In truth, that's not very interesting.
33:26But then, neither are Toyota cars.
33:28And the main people buy them, because they never break down.
33:31But we think the Aigo is interesting.
33:35Firstly, it looks great.
33:36Kind of young and cute.
33:38Secondly, it's cheap.
33:40It costs just £7,000.
33:41Now, you might think we're just into solid gold Lamborghinis and Ferraris with jet engines.
33:47Then you'd be right.
33:47But we do love cheap cars.
33:51Especially clever cheap cars.
33:53Let me explain.
33:53Some cars are designed and then built cheaply.
34:00The Aigo was designed to be cheap from the start.
34:04It's in its genes.
34:06Look at this.
34:06In most hatchbacks, the hatch is a piece of metal and glass.
34:10In this case, it is just one sheet of glass,
34:13which means they save money on expensive metal pressings.
34:16And it only needs one gastra to hold it up.
34:18And there's even just one piece of string to hold up the parcel shelf.
34:22It all adds up.
34:24And look inside.
34:27Just simple painted metal.
34:29And no extra fripperies like dual controls for the windows on the driver's side.
34:33In most cars as well, the seats are different for passenger and driver.
34:36In this car, they're both exactly the same.
34:39And that saves costs at the factory.
34:42They've also locked a cylinder off the engine, leaving three,
34:45which saves money and weight,
34:47which means this tiny car has a tiny thirst.
34:50It's also put together like Lego.
34:52So if you say smack a bumper, it removes with just two bolts.
34:56Now, that brings servicing costs down.
34:58And that means the insurance is cheaper.
35:00It gets a rating of just group one.
35:02Although it's been built in the cheapest possible way,
35:06they've left in stuff that you'd like.
35:08Little things that make driving civilised.
35:10So you get ABS and airbags, and you can have sat-nav and air conditioning if you want.
35:16But there's other stuff, little touches, that let you know they've really thought about it.
35:20Here, on the stereo, there's a socket so you can plug your iPod in.
35:22So, we like the cut of its jib, but the Igoe is a city car.
35:28So now we're going to find out if it's nippy, light on its feet,
35:31good at changing direction, darting in and out of traffic, that sort of thing.
35:34And to do that, we're going to have a game of football.
35:37Yes, welcome to the world premiere of Igoe Fiverside Football.
35:44It's a new Top Gear sport.
35:46Last year, we tried to get historic people carrier racing off the ground,
35:49and absolutely nobody could care less.
35:52This will probably be the same.
35:54The rules are simple.
35:56It's playground five-a-side with no goalie.
35:58Now, obviously, the players need quality drivers.
36:01So, as team captain, I'm going to pick them.
36:03Along with the other team captain, Jose Mayrinho.
36:07Okay, go on, then you pick first.
36:09All right, well, I quite like the sound of this Russ Swift bloke.
36:12He's been part of a display team, and he's appeared on Scylla's Moment of Truth.
36:16So, he must be good, Mr. Swift, please.
36:19Here's your free shirt, mate.
36:20I'll have the boy, then. I'll have Paul Swift, the other half of that.
36:22He was actually British Auto Test champion in 2004.
36:26So, there's your T-shirt. Thank you very much.
36:27Matt Neal, four-times British Touring Car Championship champion.
36:31I want a bit of age and experience on my team,
36:33and you can't get more of that than with Tim Harvey.
36:35He started racing professionally in 1821.
36:38Dan Eves, current BTCC Championship champion.
36:42Sir, you've won a shirt.
36:44Ben Collins, because he's done Formula One testing.
36:46He's racing ASCAR, NASCAR.
36:48There you go. T-shirt.
36:49Robert Hough, already the SEAT Cupra Championship.
36:51Three-times winner.
36:53Tom Chilton, youngest ever guy to win a race in the BTCC Championship.
36:57What's that got to do with football?
36:58Absolutely nothing.
36:59With the players picked, it was time for some complex team tactics.
37:03Move around and put the ball between those pucks.
37:06To win the game, you've got to score more goals than the other team, OK?
37:11And then, while the team's limbered up, James and I tossed for the kick-off.
37:16Heads.
37:17Heads it is.
37:18Yeah!
37:19Good luck then, sir.
37:20Red's best team win.
37:20Mine.
37:21Kick-off. This is it.
37:22Oh!
37:27That's not good.
37:28Let's head off number four there.
37:30Acceleration's good.
37:31The I-Go was also agile.
37:33Steering on this car is light.
37:34It's easy to manoeuvre in a supermarket car park football situation.
37:38But more than that, the I-Go allowed James to do the first sporting thing in his life.
37:45Headed.
37:46On through.
37:48Yes!
37:48I've scored a goal at football!
37:50Oh!
37:51I've scored a goal!
37:54I want to kick off, sir.
37:55Here it comes.
37:56Yes, yes.
37:57We're finally getting at a fair end.
37:59Oops.
38:00Oh!
38:01That's a big one.
38:04Brakes are pretty good.
38:05I'm jiggling.
38:06Whoa!
38:09Then the Reds made a break for the blue goal, but Hammond used the I-Go's low weight to make a brilliant interception.
38:17And the brakes good.
38:19Next, May in Red 1 was going for a second goal when...
38:23Whoa! No! I can't even there, man!
38:25I screwed that up!
38:27Half-time.
38:28But the clutch is pleased.
38:30And the car's changed ends.
38:32Here we go. Second half. It's our chance for an equaliser.
38:34Might kick off.
38:36I've done it in, and we're off to the goal.
38:39Oh, no. We've lost possession.
38:40Oh, no. They're steaming straight for it.
38:44Ha-ha-ha!
38:46That was the equaliser for blue!
38:49I'll kick off again, and I'm passing it to Russ Swift.
38:53Oh, he's punching it straight over their line.
38:55Oh, he's going. He's taking it down the wing.
38:58They've cleared it.
38:59They're away.
39:00By now, we'd found out that the I-Go has all the makings of a great little city car.
39:09And that was good.
39:10As with just a few minutes to go and the scores at 1-1, the match got dirty.
39:14Ah!
39:19Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
39:23Door ball. That's not allowed.
39:25One of the things I will say about this car...
39:27and does withstand quite severe knot very well.
39:38Oh, no, my own man's reversed into me.
39:43This is heart-stopping stuff.
39:45And then, just before the final whistle,
39:49with James defending the goal...
39:53That upstalled.
39:57Oh...
40:00Yes!
40:03I can't stand it.
40:08Magnificent!
40:14Yes! Yes!
40:17Oh, yeah!
40:19Oh, yeah!
40:22Wow!
40:23What a...
40:24Oh, mate, what a great, great piece of goalkeeper.
40:27Oh, no, stalled at the last minute and it won't stop.
40:30That was brilliant.
40:30Well, I'm not over the moon, Richard.
40:31No, I am, oddly enough.
40:32Can we talk about the car?
40:33Yes.
40:34I think this actually is a great little car.
40:36It is.
40:37I really do.
40:38But it isn't quite as simple as that,
40:40because, you see, this is a very small Peugeot,
40:43and this over here is an equally small Citroen.
40:46Now, don't be fooled by the fact that they've all got slightly different faces.
40:48They are, in fact, the same car underneath.
40:51They're built in the same factory, they're built by the same people,
40:54and they've all got the same engine.
40:56But it's not as simple as that, either,
40:58because the Toyota and the Peugeot both cost 7,000 pounds.
41:01The Citroen, same car, cost 6,500 pounds, 500 quid cheaper.
41:06So, the three go for that one.
41:08OK, it's time to do the cool war, and we have a problem.
41:12Because, you see, since I came up with this idea, what, a couple of years ago,
41:15I've always used Kristen Scott Thomas, the actress, as a yardstick.
41:19The idea being that if you drove over to Paris, where she lives,
41:23how would she react to any given car that you happen to be in?
41:27Well, the problem is, is that when we were off there, I actually met her.
41:31Lovely girl, but it turns out she drives a Honda Civic.
41:36And she doesn't really like the Aston Martin DB9
41:39that we have in a special super cool section here.
41:42She much prefers the Bentley Continental in red.
41:46Really? In red.
41:47So, we're going to have to change everything.
41:48The Aston's got to go down there, we're going to put that in the fridge.
41:50It's a complete switch around.
41:52No, no, no.
41:54No, it isn't.
41:55No, we're just going to find a new yardstick.
41:57But you can't just tell everyone that a yard isn't a yard, that's the measure.
42:00No, I'm sorry, Kristen, beautiful girl, absolutely lovely, but gone.
42:03The new yardstick is Fiona Bruce, the newsreader.
42:06Until she turns out not to be a yard, I presume, then she's...
42:09No, then we'll get Sophie Ray with.
42:11Alright, let's apply the new yardstick to this.
42:13This is an example of a car that actually isn't very good at all,
42:17as we agreed last year is on Top Gear.
42:19However...
42:20Chrysler 300C is what it's called.
42:21It's a Chrysler 300C, it's a Chrysler 300C, and it is cool.
42:25Wrong. I'm going to give you four words.
42:27Rio, Rooney, Wayne and Ferdinand.
42:31They bought them.
42:33They have a Chrysler 300C.
42:36Well...
42:37Wayne Rooney's got that car, it's dead.
42:38Yes, but isn't Wayne Rooney supposed to be cool?
42:40I thought...
42:41He is cool.
42:42His girlfriend, Colleen...
42:43What's her name?
42:44Colleen.
42:45She's got her face, is on the cover of Vogue.
42:47She's on the front of Vogue magazine.
42:48That's pretty cool.
42:49Yes, but people who look like her are more normally found on the front of Blackpool in a kiosk selling chips.
42:56Who thinks that is a cool car?
42:58Oh no, that's just...
43:00It's not a cool car.
43:04It is.
43:06It's a cool car.
43:08It's a cool car.
43:09I still maintain that's gone again.
43:12One day...
43:16You'll still lose.
43:18Now, the golf, which is here.
43:21We read recently that the Pope has got one.
43:25Now, we think as celebrity endorsements go...
43:28That's a big one.
43:29I drive one.
43:30He drives one.
43:31It's pretty big, so we're thinking if you'd like to move that up a bit, that would be...
43:35I kinda like it there.
43:37I kinda like it there.
43:38There's another one here, the Maserati Quattroporte, which we've had here.
43:43Now, since we've put it there, Bonio, out of U2 has bought one.
43:47Bonio himself!
43:48Bonio is a cool man, and he's done his bit for third world debt by buying one of those,
43:53because he's sent his money to Italy, so...
43:55Nice!
43:56That actually might even move now into super cool.
44:00Anybody else got any thoughts on cars they see here that ought to be moved?
44:05The Mitsubishi Evo.
44:06You what?
44:07Sorry, hang on.
44:08Come over here.
44:09The Mitsubishi Evo.
44:10The Mitsubishi Evo is what?
44:11Cool.
44:12That's honestly...
44:13I'm not joking.
44:14You remember when Neville Chamberlain got off the plane, waved the piece of paper around?
44:16That was the last time someone was as wrong as you've just been.
44:20Peace in our time.
44:22I'm sorry?
44:23The Porsche.
44:24Now, which Porsche have you got in mind?
44:27The yellow one.
44:28The yellow one.
44:29What are you...
44:32Things you shouldn't say here.
44:34Number one.
44:35Where do you want it moving to?
44:36I think it's cool.
44:37I'm sure...
44:38He's a cool-looking guy, this guy, actually.
44:39He is, but he's let himself down when he opened his trap, didn't he?
44:42Yes.
44:43I'm aware that we are actually still before the watershed, but I'm going to show you something.
44:47Oh, not the...
44:48No, no, no, not the Alfa Romeo.
44:49I'm sorry.
44:50It's the Alfa Romeo Brera.
44:51There it is.
44:52Oh!
44:53Oh, that's filth.
44:54That is filth.
44:55I have to say that's the first time that's ever happened to me on television.
44:58Oh.
44:59Okay.
45:00Every time I see this, it's Nobby Styles, Geoff Hurst, Bobby Charlton.
45:04What a thing.
45:05But I'm just going to take that with me.
45:08Richard's gone to the lavatory with the picture of the Alfa Romeo.
45:12My turn next.
45:13Uh, right.
45:14Now, we've got to move on.
45:16Um, with this.
45:17It's a mobile phone.
45:19And it's also an internet, and it's an address book, and it's a camera.
45:24And if it's possible to do this, then I wonder, is it possible to turn a Range Rover into a sports car?
45:31Now, obviously, it's very difficult when you've got a bunch of hippies chained to the production line,
45:35but that hasn't stopped Land Rover from trying.
45:38This is what they've come up with.
45:44The Range Rover Sport.
45:49They say that making it was a challenge, and I'm not surprised,
45:52because things which are tall are not sporty.
45:55I know this.
46:01Even so, this new car goes from 0 to 60 in seven seconds.
46:06And it has so much power that the top speed has had to be pegged at 140 to stop the tyres bursting.
46:17And what's more, Land Rovers say it's not just fast in a straight line.
46:21They say that, thanks to some fancy new anti-roll bars, it can also handle the bends.
46:27They're right, it does.
46:29The steering's sharp, the brakes are massive, it doesn't roll too much.
46:34Bump and then a bend.
46:36And it just takes it all in its stride.
46:39It's very, very good, this.
46:44It's really very, very, very good.
46:51I'd say it was even more nimble than a Porsche Cayenne Turbo.
46:55And more comfortable, and more economical.
46:58Probably do 12 miles to the gallon, if you're careful.
47:01And then there's the driving position.
47:04See, in a normal off-road car, you sit up high and you have to kind of reach down to operate everything.
47:10But in this, I'm still sitting high up, but they've raised the centre console and the whole dashboard.
47:16So I feel cocooned, like I'm in the cockpit of a fighter-bomber.
47:21We're now cruising at 35,000 feet, which we are.
47:30So, quite an achievement then, turning a mud-plugging Range Rover into a growling Nighthawk mud-mover.
47:37Except they haven't, because this isn't a Range Rover.
47:42I know it looks like a Range Rover, but the Sport is five inches shorter and lower.
47:49The two cars don't share a single piece of bodywork.
47:53And it's the same story underneath.
47:55The chassis is from the new Discovery.
47:58The brakes are from Brembo.
48:00The supercharged 4.2-litre V8 engine is from Jaguar.
48:03And so's the steering.
48:05And it uses the same sort of suspension components as a Porsche 911.
48:10Sounds great, but there are some drawbacks.
48:15If that pulled up outside your house, you'd think, oh no, a drug dealer is here.
48:21And then there are some of the details.
48:23I mean, the radiator grill, for example, looks like the sort of towel rail
48:28that would be bought by the left back for Cheshire United.
48:32Then you've got this black stuff here, round the bottom of the window.
48:35I know why they've done it, to cover up the fact the dashboard's been raised, but it's ugly.
48:39And so are the side skirts.
48:42But the worst thing, the worst thing of all, is the tailgate.
48:45Because on a proper Range Rover, it splits like that.
48:50On this one, you can either open the rear window for no reason that I can think of,
48:58or you can open the whole tailgate.
49:01Fine, but you're at a point-to-point, OK?
49:04Without a flappy bit down here, where do you sit?
49:08Of course, the Sport is cheaper than a proper Range Rover.
49:14You can have one with a turbo-diesel V6 for £34,000,
49:18which is almost cheaper than a horse.
49:21But, I'm sorry, you can't have this car with a diesel engine.
49:27It'd be like saying, well, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight,
49:30I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance.
49:33She's a woman.
49:35Yeah, but...
49:39You have to have this £59,000 supercharged V8,
49:43because, taste and tailgate aside,
49:45it really does seem to have all the bases covered.
49:48It's a high-riding, fat-boy hot hatch,
49:51a satellite-guided stereo with 20-inch rim.
49:55It's also a 140-mile-an-hour mobile phone,
50:00it's a living room, it's got a fridge,
50:03and I'm fairly sure that somewhere in here
50:06there's a tool for getting the stones out of horses' hooves.
50:10It seems to do everything.
50:15But does it?
50:18Because it now has sport steering and sport suspension
50:22and a sporty spoiler at the front,
50:24does it mean it no longer works off-road?
50:28Well, to find out, we've devised a little test.
50:36This is a Challenger 2 tank.
50:42It has a 12-cylinder diesel engine,
50:44which produces 1,200 horsepower,
50:47and that's enough for a top speed of nearly 40 miles an hour.
50:51Not bad for something which weighs 62 tons.
50:59The thing I'm most interested in, though, is the big gun,
51:03which, as you can see, is rifled for greater accuracy.
51:06Not like those smoothbore American ones
51:09that just hit something over there.
51:12It fires a smorgasbord of ammunition,
51:14chief among which, really, you've got high-explosive rounds
51:17which hit the target and blow it to pieces,
51:19or the depleted uranium rounds
51:21which penetrate the armour on the target
51:23and give everyone inside two heads.
51:28The natural habitat for the Challenger 2 is Salisbury Plain.
51:3294,000 acres of scarred and rutted terrain
51:35swarming with heavy armour.
51:38You'd be mad to bring a car here,
51:41but you'd have to be insane to bring one here for a fight
51:44with a Challenger 2 and its crew.
51:49The idea is that I've got to drive the Range Rover Sport
51:52from here, OK, to those woods over there,
51:57and you've got to see if you can get your gun pointed at me
52:01in such a way that if you push the fire button, I'd be history.
52:04Who's the gunner? Who's the one that...
52:06You're the gunner?
52:07Yep.
52:08Engaging me.
52:09I'll be keeping you in my sight.
52:10Trying?
52:11You'll be trying to keep...
52:12I will be.
52:14Sorry.
52:15How old are you?
52:16Me, 26.
52:1726.
52:18Thinks he knows everything.
52:19Just watch this.
52:20Watch this.
52:24So here we are on the start line.
52:26Goliath and David Beckham.
52:30I have a cunning plan.
52:31You see, they'll be expecting me
52:33to go forwards, because that's where the destination is.
52:38Ready?
52:393, 2, 1.
52:41Now, now, now!
52:42Left!
52:43Left, left, left, left, left, left!
52:45God, that battle turns quickly.
52:47But not quickly enough.
52:50And straight into the woods.
52:52Horribus, horribus, horribus!
52:53I've read enough war comics to know
52:56that tanks can't go in woods.
52:58Halt!
52:59Because they can't move their barrel around.
53:01I'm light, I'm nimble, I'm agile.
53:07Oh!
53:08Firing!
53:09Mick!
53:10What I hadn't read, though,
53:11was the war comic featuring the Challenger's secret weapon.
53:14Less smoke!
53:15What in the name of all that's holy is he doing?
53:27He's making smoke!
53:28I can't see...
53:29I can't see anything!
53:31Keep track, pick him up, pick him up, pick him up, pick him up, pick him up.
53:35If I don't get going soon, my big hot supercharger will be a red glow on his thermal imaging camera.
53:42I was stuck in the woods being turned into a kipper.
53:46So I decided to deploy the car's tyre bursting speed.
53:52And away we go.
53:53I pass!
53:54Over rough ground, the Challenger 2 is the fastest tank in the world.
54:01Now I'm doing 40 miles an hour.
54:06The tank can go that fast, though.
54:09Oh, no, I seem to have brought Puff Daddy's car to the Somme!
54:22This is where I've had it.
54:23You can't drive an off-road car, not even one as good as this,
54:26over this kind of surface fast, and you can with a tank.
54:31Speed wasn't working.
54:33I couldn't break free from that gun.
54:35OK, mate, it's hard right stick, put it hard cover's right.
54:38I need some cover.
54:40Now what are you going to do?
54:42Because I can out-turn your sunshine.
54:50Right, he's going round the circles a little.
54:52Now, you see, what I've done brilliantly is hidden behind these bushes.
54:57So I'm fully protected from the high-explosive ground by the branches.
55:01Get round the corner, get round the corner.
55:03But then it dawned on me that the branches might not actually stop the shell.
55:08Look at this, watch what I can do here.
55:11Sneak behind him?
55:13He doesn't know!
55:14Yes!
55:16Stumped by my agility!
55:22And I'm making smoke.
55:23Oh, yes.
55:24In seconds, though, he was back on my tail.
55:27I've got to say, I know it's not the most important thing at the moment,
55:34but some of the ride comfort has been lost
55:37by turning the Range Rover into a sport model.
55:41There was no way I could survive in open ground.
55:46I've got him, I've got him!
55:47OK, nailed it, nailed it, nailed it!
55:48Time it! Missed him!
55:51Because that turret can do a full rotation in nine seconds.
55:55So my last chance was to try some serious off-roading.
56:02If I can get down to the bottom of this ridge here,
56:05he won't be able to, he won't be able to come down.
56:07Oh!
56:08But I've got, wait a minute, neutral.
56:10I want that on.
56:13Low range.
56:14Come on, hurry up!
56:19He can't follow me down here,
56:21and when I'm at the bottom,
56:22his gun won't go low enough to be able to get me.
56:28He's just coming down.
56:29Quick down, quick down, quick down!
56:33So if I get back up again...
56:36Don't let me down now!
56:38Do not let me down now!
56:40Let's stick, hot, let's stick, hot, let's stick!
56:41Be good off-road!
56:42Keep it around, keep it around, keep it around, keep it around!
56:44Power!
56:47Be a good off-road car, you are!
56:50Oh, yes!
56:53I have to say, I really was expecting this to be useless off-road,
56:56and it just isn't.
56:58That bought me some more time, but not much.
57:02This really is just a battle of rage.
57:04Who runs out of fuel first?
57:06And that's a bad plan, because I suspect it's going to be me.
57:13You can't get away from it.
57:15It is really a very, very good off-road car, this.
57:18It really is.
57:19But, if you're planning on invading another country, use a tank.
57:24Come on, hit him now!
57:30Target!
57:31Oh!
57:33Target!
57:34Target!
57:35Target, stop.
57:36One-time Clarks are destroyed.
57:37Well done.
57:38And now I'm dead.
57:39Blown.
57:40Blown to pieces.
57:41And these are the gentlemen who blew me to pieces.
57:43Give them a big round of applause!
57:44Well done.
57:45Well done.
57:46Well done.
57:47Well done.
57:48Well done.
57:49Min, heroes.
57:50Well done.
57:51Well done.
57:52Well done.
57:53My heroes.
57:54Well done.
57:55Well done.
57:56Well done.
57:57My heroes.
57:58Yeah.
57:59Well done.
58:00No, it was a great day out, that, really was.
58:02Can I just say, I've still, I've got doubts about this car.
58:05I mean, it is brilliant, there's no doubt in that, it's fantastic.
58:07Oh, it was a piece of engineering, you have to doff your cap to the Land Rover engineers,
58:10it's epic.
58:11It is, but I think you're going to know where I'm going with this, I think you're going
58:13to agree, because what's going to happen, at some point you'll be at the lights in your
58:16sport, and somebody's going to pull up next to you in a proper big Range Rover, and you're
58:20going to look and think, look how high they are.
58:22Well, you always think.
58:23And that has a much better interior than the sport, and it has the fold down tailgate.
58:29And you can have that engine in this one.
58:31Yeah, you have the supercharged engine.
58:32Then you've got a lot.
58:33What I would say, in conclusion, is that if you're really not hammering down a road,
58:37this sport is what, six or seven percent better than the normal Range Rover, okay?
58:42Eight.
58:43Eight.
58:44Final offer, eight percent better than the normal Range Rover, but for everything else,
58:47that's best.
58:48So really, that would be, what we'd say in summary, is that if you're going to buy a Range
58:52Rover, make it a proper one.
58:53Not that anyone would listen to that, they're by the sport, and I reckon, well, every footballer's
58:56going to have one for a start.
58:58Oh, yes.
58:59And by next year, you could walk from Cheshire to Surrey on like a carpet of Range Rover
59:03sports, without ever touching the ground, all the way.
59:05Absolutely.
59:06And do you know what?
59:07The Gulf Stream would continue to flow.
59:09And on that bombshell, it's time to say goodnight.
59:12See you next week.
59:13Take care.
59:14Bye.
59:15A touch of the green-eyed monster on BBC Three now.
59:22Big debts caused by envy in spendaholics.
59:25Next year on BBC Two, fears of a repeat of the Asian tsunami in North America.
59:30OK, so let's see you next week.
59:31See you next week.
59:32Take care.
59:33See you next week.
59:34Bye.
59:35Bye.
59:36Bye.
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