- hace 6 meses
Basil and the rest of the staff are in deep trouble when the health inspector turns up and delivers an enormous list of problems with the hotel. Things become even worse when Manuel's rat gets loose in the hotel.
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00:00Thank you!
00:30Thank you!
01:00Thank you!
01:30Oh, shall I get you the wine list?
01:33Mister Faust?
01:34Mister, oh, please, call me waiter.
01:36Look, I'll go and get a chair.
01:37And then you can really tuck in.
01:38There's some stuff in the bin you might like.
01:39You know, potato piliers, cold rice pudding, that sort of thing.
01:42Not exactly haute cuisine, but it'll certainly help to fill you up.
01:44Ah, so, well, may I introduce the gentleman who's just opened the self-service department here?
01:48Mister...
01:49...Carnegie.
01:50Mister Carnegie, the Scavenger Gourmet from...
01:52The Public Health Department.
01:55Yes, where were you born?
01:56Scavenger or down here in the West Country?
01:58Public Health Department.
02:00Oh, here's the invoice of the meat, Mr. Carnegie.
02:03It's the six-monthly check-up.
02:04Oh, yes, the meat was delivered on Wednesday.
02:07Yes, that would appear to be satisfactory.
02:09Oh good. I hope you didn't mind my little joke, just now.
02:12Thank God we English can laugh at each other, eh?
02:19So, our new chef just left.
02:21Just popped out. Quick prayer, I expect.
02:24Mr. Fawlty.
02:26Hello.
02:27These premises do not come up to the standard required by this authority.
02:31Unless appropriate steps are taken instantly,
02:34I shall have no alternative but to proceed
02:35or recommend closure to the appropriate committee of the council.
02:39Specifically, lack of proper cleaning routines,
02:42dirty and greasy filters,
02:44greasy and incrusted deep-fat fryer,
02:46dirty, cracked and stained food preparation surfaces,
02:49dirty, cracked and missing wall and floor tiles,
02:51dirty, marked and stained utensils,
02:53dirty and greasy interior surfaces of the ventilator hoods.
02:57Yes, above the deep-fat fryer...
02:58Inadequate temperature control and storage of dangerous foodstuff,
03:01storage of cooked and raw meat in same trays,
03:04storage of raw meat above confectionery
03:06with consequent tripping of beet juices onto cream products,
03:09refrigerator seals loose and cracked,
03:11icebox undefrosted and refrigerator overstocked.
03:14Yes, say no more.
03:15Um, food handling routines suspect,
03:19evidence of smoking in food preparation area,
03:22dirty and grubby food handling overalls,
03:25lack of wash hand basin,
03:26which you gave us a verbal assurance you'd have installed
03:29at our last visit six months ago
03:31and two dead pigeons in the water tank.
03:35Otherwise okay?
03:36As I said,
03:39I shall refrain from serving a food hygiene notice today,
03:42but I shall return tomorrow.
03:43If the items on this list have not been rectified,
03:46I shall take immediate action.
03:48I have not had time to inspect the bedrooms
03:50and common passageways,
03:52but I shall be doing so tomorrow.
03:53Yes, of course.
03:55The only gourmets you'll find scavenging in this kitchen
03:59will be kamikaze ones.
04:02Thought we were in trouble there for a minute.
04:04We are in trouble.
04:07Piece of cake.
04:09Have you read this piece of cake?
04:11Well, they've got to do that, haven't they?
04:12It's part of their job.
04:13Terry, this kitchen is filthy.
04:15Filthy towers, huh?
04:16Now look,
04:17Not all kitchens are filthy, Mr Fawlty.
04:19In fact, the better the kitchen,
04:20the filthier it is.
04:21Have you ever read
04:22George Orwell's experiences at Maxim's in Paris?
04:25No, do you have a copy?
04:26I'll read it out in court.
04:28Don't just stand there gossiping.
04:30I am not gossiping.
04:31I'm trying to point out to our alleged chef.
04:33Go upstairs and get Manuel
04:35and check the bathrooms for soap and paper
04:36and get those pigeons out of the water tank.
04:38Yes, my little commander.
04:40And see how many fire extinguishers are missing.
04:42Come on, Polly.
04:43We'll start in here.
04:45Not in here, puss.
04:46Bye.
04:46No, I'm sorry.
05:01This is an emergency.
05:02Important.
05:02See?
05:02The health inspector's just been
05:04things wrong with hotel.
05:06We put them right by tomorrow.
05:07All right?
05:07Now, Manuel,
05:08go up to the roof.
05:09The roof?
05:09Forks.
05:10No, no, come on.
05:11I haven't told you yet.
05:12Now, go to the water tank.
05:14Oh, water.
05:15Water tank.
05:16Water on roofing tank?
05:17Forks.
05:17See, see, see.
05:17Two dead pigeons in tank.
05:19Take out.
05:22It's not difficult, Manuel.
05:23This is not a proposition from Wittgenstein.
05:25Listen.
05:26Two dead pigeons,
05:27water tank.
05:28What is funny?
05:33How do they get up there?
05:34How did they fly up there?
05:38That's right.
05:39That's right.
05:39Oink, oink, oink.
05:41Stop.
05:41Just for me on.
05:43No, not pigs.
05:45Pigeons.
05:48Pigeon.
05:49Pigeon.
05:50Like your English.
05:52Fire, piffle, pig.
05:53Pigeon.
05:54Pigeon.
05:55Pigeon.
05:57Ah.
05:58What is that?
06:00It's my hamster.
06:01Pigeon.
06:04Pigeon?
06:04Yes, yes.
06:05No, no, no.
06:06Pigeon.
06:06Well, it's a rat.
06:07Pigeon.
06:08It's a rat.
06:09No, no, no, no.
06:10It's hamster.
06:10Well, of course it's a rat.
06:12You have rats in Spain, don't you?
06:13Or if Franco had them all shot.
06:16It's hamster.
06:17It's a rat.
06:18No, I think so, too.
06:19What?
06:20I say to man in shop,
06:21it's a rat.
06:22He says, no, no, no.
06:23It's a special kind of hamster.
06:25It's filigree Siberian hamster.
06:27Only one in shop.
06:28He makes special price,
06:29only five pound.
06:32Have you ever heard
06:33of the bubonic plague, Manuel?
06:34It was very popular here at one time.
06:36A lot of pedigree hamsters
06:37came over on ships from Siberia.
06:40What do you do?
06:41I'm sorry, Manuel.
06:41This is a rat.
06:42No, no, it's hamster.
06:43He's not a hamster.
06:44Hamsters are small and cuddly.
06:46Cuddle this.
06:46You'd never play a guitar again.
06:48Come on.
06:48Where do you go?
06:51Where do you go?
06:52Where do you take him?
06:52I'm sorry, Manuel.
06:53He's got to go.
06:53Go?
06:54No, no, no.
06:54He mind.
06:55He stay with me?
06:56Now, look.
06:56This is a hotel.
06:58The health inspector comes tomorrow.
06:59If he sees this,
07:00I close down.
07:01No warning.
07:02Close down.
07:02Finite.
07:03You out of work.
07:04Back to Barcelona.
07:05He knows her.
07:06He in cage.
07:06He's safe.
07:07Please, please.
07:08What's the matter?
07:09He paid my hamster.
07:10Please, no, Mr. Foggy.
07:12Mr. Foggy.
07:12I love him.
07:13I love him.
07:14I'll be taken from my room.
07:16Oh, no, no.
07:17Never mind.
07:18It'll be all right.
07:19You will give it in our room.
07:21Yes, that's right.
07:21We'll give it in our room, Mr. Forty.
07:23We'll look after it.
07:26Hurray!
07:27Hurray!
07:28Oh, my Siberian hamster.
07:31Filigree.
07:35It's all right.
07:36It's only a Siberian hamster.
07:37Just getting rid of it.
07:40Polly.
07:41Polly can take my hamster.
07:42What?
07:43Mr. Foggy, take my hamster.
07:44He's crazy.
07:45He thinks he's rat.
07:47Manuel.
07:51Prepare yourself for a shock.
07:54Why don't you check?
07:55What?
07:56Well, you mean he's had it for a whole year
07:58and you've only just found out?
07:59Forks.
07:59Well, assuming the health inspector had seen it?
08:01I know.
08:02He could have closed us down.
08:04Well, what are you going to do with it, Fowler?
08:05You can't keep it in here.
08:07I know.
08:08And don't let it loose in the garden.
08:09It'll come back in the house.
08:10Can't we get you a mastermind, Sybil?
08:12Next contestant, Sybil 40 from Torquay.
08:14Special subject, the bleeding obvious.
08:16I wasn't going to let it go in the garden.
08:19Well, what are you going to do with it?
08:20I don't know.
08:21I'll take it away.
08:21Let it go.
08:22Give it its freedom.
08:23You can't do that, Basil.
08:24He wouldn't be able to defend himself.
08:26He's a rat, isn't he?
08:27Well, he's domesticated, aren't you?
08:30Well, you're domesticated.
08:31You do all right.
08:32Look, he's not going to get mugged by a gang of field mice, is he?
08:36That's it.
08:37He's Manuel's pet.
08:38We have a duty to it.
08:40Perhaps we could find a home for him.
08:42All right.
08:42I'll put an ad in the papers.
08:43I wanted kind home for enormous savage roadie.
08:47Answers to the name of Sybil.
08:48Look, I'll pick him up in another country.
08:50Let him go.
08:51No, I cannot abide cruelty to living creatures.
08:54Well, I'm a creature.
08:55You can abide it to me.
08:56You're not living.
08:59Look, Manuel, we were just wondering what you ought to do.
09:01Mrs Fawlty, please understand.
09:02If he go, I go.
09:04Oh, goodbye.
09:07Please, listen.
09:07You know, we really can't keep him here.
09:09The health inspector wouldn't...
09:10Mrs Fawlty, he's here one year.
09:12He do no harm.
09:13But, Manuel, listen.
09:14If they see your rat, they could close the hotel down.
09:18Perhaps it would be simplest to have him put to S-L-E-E-P.
09:23Who?
09:24Him or the rat?
09:25Well, if I get a discount, if we had them both done.
09:28Spleep!
09:29Manuel, I wrote my friend.
09:31It's all right.
09:31She'll take him.
09:32Okay.
09:33She has lots of animals, and it's not far from here.
09:35You can go and see him whenever you want.
09:36So, come on.
09:37We'll take him over there now.
09:38Okay, forget me.
09:39Well, rats are like that, Manuel.
09:40Don't get involved with them.
09:41Come on, Manuel.
09:42I think it's the best solution, Manuel.
09:44Oh, you'll be happy.
09:45You'll see.
09:45Sad, isn't it?
09:49Well, look at it from the point of view of the rat.
09:50What?
09:51Well, would you want to spend the rest of your life with Manuel waiting on you?
10:03Now, we've been through the cupboards.
10:05You're doing the wars.
10:06Terry, the filters.
10:07Check the fridges.
10:07Oh.
10:09Come here.
10:13Right.
10:13That's done.
10:14Now, civil.
10:15Everything done here?
10:16Have you put the lid on the tank, Basil?
10:17That's why I've been on the roof the last 40 minutes, dear.
10:19Forks.
10:20And you took the pigeons out?
10:21No, I left the bin.
10:22They're nearly done.
10:22Now, the walls.
10:24I've checked everything.
10:26Terry, the hoods.
10:26Have we done the cupboards?
10:27It's all been done, Basil.
10:29The fridge.
10:29Have we got it all separate?
10:30Basil, I told you.
10:31It's all been done.
10:32Seals on the old fridge.
10:32The floor.
10:33I've checked it.
10:34Just running over the obvious bleeding, dear.
10:36So, all a ship shape and Bristol fashion day.
10:38All ready for old Snoopy drawers.
10:40Is this about that rodent?
10:47Just leave him alone, Basil.
10:49He's upset.
10:49Well, he's not going to cheer up mooning about like that, is he?
10:51Just let him be.
10:52It doesn't help him.
10:53You're encouraging it.
10:54You've not got to get his mind off it.
10:57Well, Merrill, what do you think?
10:58Looks good, doesn't it, eh?
10:59All clean and shining bright, huh?
11:01It's so empty without him.
11:03Yes, yes.
11:03Those walls look good, too, don't they?
11:05And the hood's gleaming like that.
11:06Isn't that a marvelous sight?
11:07Please leave me alone.
11:08I get over it.
11:09Yes, yes.
11:10You'll get over it.
11:11No, no point in letting it get you down.
11:12Plenty more fish in the sea, eh?
11:14Don't!
11:14What?
11:15Don't hit me always.
11:16You hit me.
11:17I'm not hitting you.
11:17I'm trying to cheer you up.
11:19Let him be, Basil.
11:20Look, look, look.
11:21Oh, don't look at me with those awful cow eyes.
11:24Look, why don't you go to the cinema tonight?
11:25Why don't you and Polly go to the ice rink tonight?
11:28What?
11:29Why don't you cheer up, for Christ's sake?
11:31Look, look, I cannot stand this awful self-indulgence.
11:35Leave him alone, Basil.
11:36He's just depressed.
11:38Manuel, my wife informs me that you're depressed.
11:43Let me do something.
11:44Depression is a very bad thing.
11:48It's like a virus.
11:49If you don't stamp on it, it spreads throughout the mind
11:51and then one day you wake up in the morning
11:52and you can't face life anymore.
11:55And then you open a hotel.
11:58You didn't win the war by getting depressed, you know.
12:02Manuel.
12:03As?
12:03Not so sad.
12:05No?
12:05No, no, it's too much.
12:06Too much?
12:07Much too much.
12:07Ah.
12:08She's just a little bit sad.
12:09Here's the food.
12:10Ah, thank you.
12:10Don't forget the water.
12:11Ah, tell it, tell it.
12:12Let me have a bit of that.
12:13That's Philly.
12:14Yes, yes, yes, he'll like it, please.
12:16Do you want some burn eyes with it?
12:17No, no, no, no.
12:18It's Costello, Roland.
12:18No, no, no, no.
12:45Thank you Mr. Higgins
12:51Thank you
12:52And here's the picture
12:54What?
12:56The picture, the one in your room, you said you liked it
12:59Polly, shh, Polly
13:01Wait
13:02No, I'm sorry, I really don't
13:04Oh, just a fiver, you can have it on approval
13:06Sorry
13:07It's for my sister's eye operation
13:09You bastard
13:11Polly
13:14Oh, what?
13:15He went
13:15What?
13:16He went, he escaped
13:17But how did he get out of the cage?
13:19I leave door open so he can exercise in shed
13:22Oh, you dago dodo
13:24You got it all over your front
13:27Much sallow
13:28What you do?
13:29It's dirty
13:30No matter, what about Basil?
13:32Mr. Fawlty, do you?
13:33No, no, no, no, Basil
13:34A star key
13:35Now go and clean it
13:37Ah, yes, yes
13:38Jolly good Polly, that's the way to snap him out of it
13:41Hello, Major, there are the papers
13:45That's where I left it
13:46Ah, strike, strike, strike
13:48Why do we bother, Fawlty?
13:51Didn't know you did, Major
13:52Boycott made the sense of air
14:00Stay where you are, Jack
14:07Don't move
14:12Tucker, give these a rinse, will you?
14:25Oh, yes
14:25No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
14:27Put in the dishwasher.
14:47Do you need any help major?
14:48No.
14:52Verma.
14:55We haven't got any this week, Major.
14:58No Germans staying this week, Major.
15:01Is it okay to shoot him, Fawlty?
15:02Yes, Major.
15:03No, not legal, actually, anymore.
15:05Murder.
15:06But the animals, Fawlty.
15:07Oh, yes, yes.
15:08Still forgive and forget, eh?
15:10Well, pretend we do.
15:12But they spread disease, Fawlty.
15:14He was sitting there, on that table,
15:16eating the nuts, if you please.
15:17He's really gone this time.
15:20About that size.
15:21That with the tail.
15:25What did you say it was?
15:30Vermin.
15:30A dirty rat.
15:35How long ago?
15:36About two minutes ago.
15:38Stay there, Major.
15:39If you see him, give me a shot.
15:41Will do.
15:48I'm just cleaning behind the fridge, Mr Fawlty.
15:54Basil?
15:55Oh, that's for me, is it?
16:04Thank you.
16:08Shall I get you some more?
16:09There's plenty.
16:09He's called Basil, is he?
16:11Don't play dumb with me.
16:12I trusted you.
16:12You're responsible for this.
16:13Oh, I've got a friend who'll look after him, Mr Fawlty.
16:15Come on, come on out, come on.
16:23Basil's here.
16:25Have you got him?
16:26He's under there.
16:27Right, I'll get him.
16:31Cleaning behind the fridge, hmm?
16:32Well, you've got a lot on your mind.
16:34We didn't want to worry you, Mr.
16:35What do you mean?
16:35Um, a public health inspector coming after a 24-hour warning and a rat loose in the hotel?
16:40He must have escaped, Mr Fawlty, and come back.
16:42Come back?
16:44They home.
16:47Oh, I see.
16:47He's a homing rat, is he?
16:50Oh, yeah.
16:51Rats are amazing creatures, Mr Fawlty.
16:53I read about one once.
16:55His owner had gone down to Penzance.
16:56Yes, yes, I read about that.
16:57When the chef got filled with his own carving knife.
16:59No worries.
17:00It's down for her.
17:02We'll find him, Mr Fawlty.
17:03Well, if you could.
17:04That would be lovely before they close us down.
17:05Super.
17:06Well, let's have a little basil hunt, shall we?
17:08And then we'll deal with the sackings later on.
17:10I'll do this, sir.
17:10I'll do this, Flaw.
17:11Manuel, you check your rules.
17:13It's not in the bar, Polly.
17:13It was there two minutes ago.
17:14I'll do that.
17:17I've done all of them.
17:23Oh, Mr. Carnegie, good morning.
17:48Good morning, Mrs. Fawlty.
17:51Oh, hello.
17:52Oh, nice to see you.
17:54Would you like coffee before we adjourn to...
17:56No, thank you.
17:57If we start upstairs with the water tanks.
17:59Ah, good idea.
18:00What?
18:00Good thoughts about starting upstairs.
18:02Would you like to show Mr Carnegie...
18:03I was just going to, Basil.
18:04Yes, and I'll keep an eye on things down here.
18:06Shall I see if I can find something to be getting on with?
18:09God, what was that?
18:11Bloody television exploding again.
18:13I'll do it.
18:14That was a gun.
18:16Yes, it did sound like it, didn't it?
18:18What?
18:23What is going on here?
18:25I'll get him.
18:26He'll come back for the nuts, you know.
18:28He was sniffing around here, does thou?
18:30I thought...
18:30Sorry.
18:31Sorry, baby.
18:32It wasn't a television at all.
18:33It was just this gun.
18:34I thought it had the lock-in key straight away.
18:36Why was he firing it in the hotel?
18:38Er, Starling.
18:39Student Starling.
18:40In the bar?
18:40No, no, through the window.
18:41I'll lock it away.
18:42Is it licensed?
18:42Oh, yes.
18:43Oh, yes.
18:43You do realize that under the Health and Safety Act,
18:46it is your responsibility.
18:47Oh, yes.
18:47I'm terribly sorry.
18:48It's never happened before, Mr. Carnegie.
18:50Well, I shall have to notify the police, of course.
18:52They will take steps.
18:53Can't kill it.
18:53Can't kill it.
18:54It's all right.
18:55It's all right, ma'am.
18:56Is he all right?
18:56Yes, he's all right.
18:57He's not dead.
18:58No, no, no.
18:58It was just the Major letting the gun off.
19:00The Major tried to kill Basil?
19:02Kill Basil?
19:02No, no, not Mr Foddy.
19:04I mean Basil, my little...
19:05Ratatouille.
19:07Basil, the little...
19:08Ratatouille.
19:10The chef calls the Ratatouille Basil
19:12because he puts quite a lot of basil in it.
19:15Did he put basil in the Ratatouille?
19:18Forks.
19:25He's from Barcelona.
19:26You know, typical Latin, really.
19:34Would you like to?
19:36Why you do this?
19:36I haven't.
19:37I haven't.
19:38Polly say you put basil in Ratatouille.
19:40I haven't made any bleeding Ratatouille.
19:43Then, well.
19:44Why do you say he put basil in Ratatouille?
19:46I had to say something.
19:47That is the health inspector.
19:48Now, well, you calm down.
19:48Oh, where is he?
19:49Oh, I don't know.
19:50Perhaps he's dead.
19:51Oh, he's all right.
19:52Give us the veal paw.
19:53I've got to get lunch ready.
19:54How do you know it's all right, Major?
19:56Fire his gun.
19:57Perhaps he hit.
19:58I find him.
19:59Oh, sorry for...
20:00Oh, pick him up quickly before he gets in here.
20:03That's it, Major.
20:04You've got it.
20:04Well, you've nearly got it.
20:05The thing is, not a word about rats.
20:07You were shooting a starling.
20:08All right?
20:09A starling?
20:09Forks.
20:10Through the window.
20:10Right.
20:11But, Forty, how did the starling get in the bar?
20:14No, no, no.
20:14You were in the bar.
20:15I was in the bar?
20:16Forks.
20:17Which I was.
20:17Yes, and the starling was in the garden,
20:19and the rat was nowhere at all.
20:21Well, I didn't see him.
20:22Say goodnight to the folks, Gracie.
20:26All right, Terry, everything under control?
20:28Yeah.
20:28Is he still...
20:29No, he started upstairs.
20:30God knows where that rat is.
20:31Oh, puss.
20:35Come on, puss.
20:37Don't you go well.
20:42Oh, I put some...
20:44Terry?
20:46Yeah?
20:47There was a piece of veal down here.
20:48Yeah, got them all up, Mr. Fawley.
20:50What?
20:51We picked them all up.
20:52Got the veals, Terry.
20:53Yeah, we are, Paul.
20:54Terry, listen to me.
20:55What do you mean you picked them all up?
20:57Well, Manuel knocked them over.
20:58We picked them all up.
21:01Oh, my God.
21:02What's the matter?
21:03All of them got raw poison on it.
21:08Sorry.
21:09Sorry.
21:09Sorry.
21:10Uh, veal's off.
21:11Sorry.
21:12That's veal?
21:13No no.
21:13This is a veal substitute.
21:15We're giving it a try,
21:16and it's a bit of a disappointment, I'm afraid.
21:17In fact, it's no substitute at all.
21:19Polly, would you take the order again, please?
21:21Thank you.
21:22Thank you so much.
21:23I'm sorry about that.
21:24Would you like the lamb or the place?
21:26Veal substitute?
21:28Well, it's Japanese, actually.
21:30Soy beans and essence of cow.
21:33Uh, seals.
21:34We've moved all the meat into this one,
21:37and we've put the confectionery...
21:38A bottle of the Beaujolais, please.
21:42Absolutely.
21:43And the washout basin?
21:44We ordered it yesterday.
21:46Here's the acknowledgment of the order.
21:49Well, it would appear that this kitchen
21:51is now in a satisfactory condition.
21:54I shall be writing to perform the...
21:56Sorry.
21:57Slip.
21:59...outstanding points,
22:00and someone will be dropping in
22:02to carry out a future random inspection
22:04to make sure these standards are being maintained.
22:06Thank you.
22:07Mother!
22:09Uh, it's ten to one.
22:10I'd like to take lunch here, if I may.
22:12Oh, certainly, Mr. Carnegie.
22:14I couldn't help noticing you had some veal over here.
22:20See?
22:21Yes, it's Dutch.
22:23Well, it's not Dutch, actually.
22:24It's, uh, Norwegian.
22:25Norwegian?
22:26Yes, not the absolute apex, quite honestly.
22:28Terry, the veal is Dutch, isn't it?
22:30Norwegian, Mrs. Forty.
22:31I've been in this business 20 years.
22:34I've never heard of Norwegian veal.
22:36No, well, they've only just branched into it, you know.
22:37I don't think it's a winner, frankly.
22:39You know, more of a veal substitute.
22:40It's got a lot of air pockets in it.
22:41That's all the...
22:42The, uh, the lamb is Dutch?
22:43Dutch.
22:43Well, English.
22:44I mean, we call it Dutch
22:45because it's as good as the veal.
22:45It's better, quite honestly.
22:46Well, I prefer the veal.
22:47Yes, how about lobster?
22:49Would you prefer lobster?
22:49Couple of lobsters.
22:50Oh, it's frightfully good at the moment.
22:51It's not expensive this week.
22:52We've got so much,
22:53we're having a bit of a lobster sale at the moment.
22:54Try and shift it all.
22:5575p each, two for a pound.
22:57I can't say fairer than that.
22:58It's just the veal.
22:59Well, if you like the veal,
23:00perhaps you prefer the chicken.
23:01That's all he wants, the veal.
23:02No, I just thought...
23:03Could that make a phone call?
23:04Yes, of course.
23:05Through here.
23:07What's all this about rat poison on a veal?
23:09He's put rat poison on one.
23:10They've got mixed up
23:11and nobody knows which is which now.
23:13Well, what happened to the one the cat ate?
23:14The cat?
23:15Well, that's no good.
23:17That might have poison on it too.
23:18Well, where is it?
23:19What?
23:20Where's the cat's slice?
23:22Um, up there.
23:24Right, now.
23:25How's the cat?
23:27How's the cat?
23:28We're about to take the life of a public health inspector
23:31and you want to know how's the cat?
23:33It's going to London to see the Queen.
23:35What are we going to do?
23:36Is it all right?
23:37Great.
23:38Hooray!
23:38Hooray!
23:39The cat lives!
23:40The cat lives!
23:41Long-lived cat!
23:42What are we going to do?
23:43Mr. Fawlty,
23:44if the cat is all right,
23:46that means that slice is all right.
23:49Well, how long would it take to work?
23:50That stuff, two minutes.
23:51He had this ten minutes ago at least.
23:53It's a bit chewed there.
23:55I'll give it a trim.
23:59So you're driving over to Babacoon this afternoon?
24:02Yes, we're...
24:04What is a plate of veal doing there?
24:08I'll just relieve you of it, shall I?
24:12Do sit down, Mr. Carnegie.
24:14He just has, Basil.
24:15On a plate of veal.
24:16Has it put you off?
24:17What?
24:17Has it put you off the veal at all?
24:18Well, I'm not eating that one,
24:20if that's what you mean.
24:22Stop!
24:22Halt!
24:23Sorry, I think there might be another one there.
24:25Excuse me.
24:26Ah, yes.
24:26Lucky guess.
24:29Well, who's responsible for putting them there?
24:31Manuel, our Spanish waiter.
24:33Go.
24:34Now, would you like to get...
24:35Please.
24:38Well, does he do it often?
24:40Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
24:40It's the first time,
24:41but he sometimes looks like though he's going to,
24:43but we always catch him, of course.
24:44Here's your veal, Mr. Carnegie.
24:46And one green salad.
24:47Thank you.
24:48Ah, bon.
24:48Good appetite.
24:49Kill them.
24:55Well done, Terry.
24:55Sorry.
25:01Ah, not hot enough.
25:15Ah!
25:15Not big enough.
25:17Sorry.
25:18What?
25:18Not big enough.
25:19Sorry.
25:19Excuse me.
25:20Really, Polly.
25:24What are you doing?
25:28Well, if that's the one,
25:29these are OK.
25:30What?
25:30If that's the poison one,
25:32these are all right.
25:35Brilliant!
25:36Great!
25:37Right!
25:37OK!
25:38Marcel, what is going on?
25:39That was the poison one.
25:40The cat had it.
25:41The cat?
25:42Well, poison?
25:43Yes, so that one must be OK.
25:47There's a...
25:48Sorry, just getting you a proper-sized one.
25:50It was big enough.
25:51It was all I wanted.
25:52Well, it could have been a bit hotter.
25:53Well, not much, but...
25:54Yes, yes, it's just coming.
25:56Won't be a sec.
25:57Ah, Manuel, would you, er...
25:58Here.
26:01Go ahead.
26:03What?
26:04Look, he's all right.
26:05Look.
26:05He can't be.
26:06Well, he is.
26:07Here, Paul.
26:08Oh.
26:09He can't be.
26:10What do you mean?
26:11What, he was vomiting?
26:11Vomiting?
26:15That's just fur balls, Basil.
26:18What?
26:19That's just fur balls.
26:20He does that all the time in the summer.
26:21But...
26:22But if he's all right, that one might...
26:25Oh no, Paul.
26:26Too much.
26:26What?
26:27Too much.
26:27Too much of a good thing.
26:29Always the usual, I'm wanting less, I always find.
26:31Oh.
26:31It's wrong now.
26:32Well, we wouldn't want you to think that just because you're one of Her Majesty's civil servants,
26:35we were showing you any excess favoritism.
26:37I'm sure you wouldn't want that.
26:38Oh, so you're the rat inspector.
26:40Oh, so you're the rat.
26:41Oh, so you're the rat.
26:43Oh, so you're the rat.
26:44Starling inspector.
26:45Starling inspector.
26:49Oh, so you're the rat.
26:53Thank you.
26:53No, no, no.
27:23Which it is.
27:25We can give him that, can't we?
27:26Right!
27:27Faulty!
27:28Shut up!
27:28But Terry, that's got things on it.
27:30Oh, that's alright, Mrs. Faulty.
27:31What the eye don't see, the chef gets away with.
27:33Mr. Faulty!
27:34What is it?
27:34Table seven.
27:35What?
27:36Basil!
27:39Sorry, it's just coming.
27:40Excuse me.
27:41Of course.
27:41Good afternoon, sir.
27:42Good afternoon, madam.
27:44You guys just trying to give an order to your waiter
27:45and he walked away while I was doing it.
27:50Well, he wasn't paying attention at all.
27:53I'm so sorry.
27:57What were you saying?
27:59The waiter wasn't listening when I was giving him our order.
28:02He seemed more interested in my fiancé's legs.
28:05Really?
28:06May I?
28:11Yes, I don't think so.
28:13In fact, I think there's a bread roll down there.
28:15May I give my order?
28:16Oh, please.
28:17Of course.
28:17We'd like one Windsor soup and one pate, eh?
28:20And then I...
28:22I'll just put it in my shoelace up.
28:24Are you going to take my order?
28:26Ah, yes.
28:26Polly, would you take the order?
28:28Yeah, please.
28:29On this table.
28:32I'd like one Windsor soup.
28:34One Windsor.
28:35One pate.
28:36Sir, sir.
28:37What?
28:38There, there.
28:38What do you mean, there, there?
28:39It's all there.
28:40Ah, there, there, there, and there.
28:42All there.
28:42Before you're in there.
28:44And one pate?
28:45And Manuel, would you get the bread roll, please?
28:47No, no, no, no.
28:47Get the box.
28:49We have a box.
28:50A bread box.
28:51For any, uh, bread that has gone past its prime.
28:54And you'd both like the...
28:56The veal.
28:57Oh, uh, the veal's off, I'm afraid.
28:59How can it be?
29:00You've only just started.
29:02Don't shush me.
29:03Well, I'm sorry, but the veal is, in fact, off.
29:05Well, it was never really on, quite honestly.
29:06That's a misprint.
29:07A misprint?
29:08Yes, it should say, um...
29:10Eel.
29:12Eel as scholar.
29:13Oh, stop it.
29:14Well, you just need it.
29:15Wait until after the meal.
29:16No, no, we have to get it, I'm afraid.
29:18Health regulations before it molds.
29:19Well, I'll get it then.
29:20No, no, oh, no, please, please.
29:22Allow us, please, please.
29:23All part of ourselves.
29:23So that's one pate, and one Windsor surf.
29:31Here's your veal, Mr. Carnegie.
29:33Sorry for the delay.
29:35He's just been given veal.
29:37Uh, no, no, that's, uh, veal substitute.
29:39Veal substitute?
29:40Yes, it's not very good.
29:41It got rather held up on the boat, on the way over from, um...
29:43Japan.
29:44Norway.
29:44It's a sort of, uh...
29:46Japo, Scandinavian imitation veal substitute,
29:49and I'm afraid that's the last slice anywhere.
29:51We're leaving.
29:52Okay, if you insist.
29:53What?
29:53By all means, be my guest.
29:54Thank you.
29:55I want a taxi.
29:56Polly, would you arrange a taxi, please?
29:57It's in a bag.
29:59Is your veal, um...
30:00In her bag.
30:01In her bag?
30:01What?
30:02Excuse me.
30:02Do you know where you're going to?
30:06Can you recommend a restaurant?
30:10Yes, of course.
30:10What sort of, uh...
30:12Is, where, where is somewhere that serves really good veal, Polly?
30:14Somewhere, somewhere in the...
30:15Veal, yes, of course.
30:17A really good restaurant.
30:18No, wait, wait just a minute, because I, I do remember a place...
30:21Well, I had some really good veal once.
30:23Um, only I, I just can't think of the name of it.
30:25It was, um...
30:26Oh, la-dee-da.
30:30Did you see Annie Hall?
30:33La-dee-da.
30:34Annie who?
30:35Oh, what are you doing?
30:38What?
30:39He had his hand in my bag.
30:41What?
30:41No, I...
30:42You know something.
30:43You're getting my dander up, you grotty little man.
30:47You're asking for a bunch of fives.
30:49Bombscare.
30:50What?
30:51There's been a bombscare.
30:52A bombscare?
30:53Forks.
30:54Yes, that's why he was searching in your bag.
30:56He didn't want to alarm you, you see.
30:57May I?
30:58Well, I do really.
30:58Well, we'll be, just one minute.
30:59Thank you.
31:00We had a call, you see.
31:01Well, shouldn't you get everybody out?
31:02Well, that's why we were looking under your table.
31:04We just didn't want to draw attention.
31:05Ah!
31:13A waiter.
31:16A waiter.
31:18Just a moment.
31:18Uh, some cheese and biscuits and a coffee, please.
31:36Uh, anything to follow?
31:37I've ordered some cheese and a coffee.
31:39Sir.
31:39Uh, coffee, please, sir.
31:41Well, here we are, Mr. Carnegie.
31:42Uh, Polly, would you get the biscuits, please?
31:45Here they are, Paul, dear.
31:47Uh, cheddar, Danish blue, Edam.
31:49A little Danish blue, please.
31:51Certainly.
31:51Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.
31:58Edam?
31:59No, thank you.
32:00Biscuits?
32:01What, what, what, would you, would you care for rats?
32:16Oh.
32:19Just, just the biscuits, then.
32:21Please, Polly.
32:21Oh, God.
32:27Black or white?
32:29Hmm?
32:31Black or white?
32:32Black, please.
32:33There we are.
32:36Here are the biscuits.
32:39Green crackers, digestive, Svayvita.
32:45I'm afraid it's started to rain again.
32:47Ah!
32:47Ah!
32:47Ah!
32:48Ah!
32:48Ah!
32:49Ah!
32:49Ah!
32:50Ah!
32:51Ah!
32:51Ah!
32:52Ah!
32:52Ah!
32:53Ah!
32:53Ah!
32:54Ah!
32:54Ah!
32:55Ah!
32:55Ah!
32:56Ah!
32:56Ah!
32:57Ah!
32:57Ah!
32:58Ah!
32:59Ah!
32:59Ah!
33:00Ah!
33:01Ah!
33:02Ah!
33:03Ah!
33:04Ah!
33:05Ah!
33:06Ah!
33:07Ah!
33:08Ah!
33:09Ah!
33:10Ah!
33:11Ah!
33:12Ah!
33:13Ah!
33:14Ah!
33:15Ah!
33:16Ah!
33:17Ah!
33:18Ah!
33:19Ah!
33:20Ah!
33:21Ah!
33:22Ah!
33:23Ah!
33:24Ah!
33:25Ah!
33:26Ah!
33:27Ah!
33:28Ah!
33:29Ah!
33:30Thank you.
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