- hace 6 semanas
An American couple arrives at the hotel late at night expecting to be served a hot dinner. But with the chef off for the night, Basil is forced to make the dinner himself. Things get even more complicated when the two Americans begin ordering meals that Basil has never heard of.
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00:00Oh, it's a lovely part of the world, isn't it?
00:28All those beautiful trees and fields and variety of birds.
00:35Yes, that's true.
00:36And you can just go there and get away from it all,
00:39away from the hell to skelter of modern life,
00:42because we all do need our solitude, don't we?
00:46Yes, we do.
00:48I mean, nowadays it's not easy to find the time to, I don't know, enjoy life,
00:53because there's always things to do. It's all so hectic, isn't it?
00:56And all of us just rushing around, letting things get on top of us.
01:00And quite honestly, what's the point?
01:03Have you finished?
01:04Um, yes.
01:05Thank you. My wife...
01:06I think those prawns might be a bit off.
01:09Oh, I don't think so.
01:10Well, they do taste rather funny.
01:11Well, no one else has complained.
01:12Well, I really do think they're off.
01:14But you've eaten half of them.
01:16Well, I didn't notice at the start.
01:18You didn't notice at the start?
01:19No, but it was a sauce. I wasn't sure.
01:21So you ate half to make sure?
01:23Look, my wife brings that off.
01:25Well, what am I... Do you want another first course?
01:27No, thank you.
01:28Well, you're sure?
01:28No, really. I'll just have the main.
01:30Well, we'll cancel it.
01:31Cancel it? Oh, deduct it from the bill. Is that what you mean?
01:33As it's inedible.
01:34Well, only half of it's inedible, apparently.
01:36Well, deduct half now.
01:39And if my wife brings the other half up during the night,
01:41we'll claim the balance in the morning.
01:43Now we'd like our manners, please.
01:45Well, three, we know, have passed on this year,
01:48all in their early 60s.
01:50So I've cut out butter,
01:52and I'll tell you what else I'm doing.
01:56No, really.
01:58It's all right.
01:59It is all bristle.
02:01No, no, no, honestly.
02:02Oh, there's a nice bit, see?
02:05Oh, Doris, it's awful.
02:07Oh, no, dear. It's not as bad as that.
02:10I've had worse.
02:11I don't know how they get away with it.
02:13Everything all right?
02:14Oh, yes, thank you.
02:17Everything to your satisfaction?
02:19Yes, thank you.
02:21Why don't you say something?
02:23Well, there's no point, is that we just won't come here again.
02:25Then I'll say something.
02:27Look, it won't do any good. We're leaving tomorrow.
02:29Well, I'm going to.
02:30I mean, we've been sitting here waiting for nearly half an hour,
02:33and it...
02:34Oh, what's this?
02:37See?
02:37Look, I ordered the cold meat salad, and I've been waiting about half an hour for it.
02:41Salad?
02:42Yes.
02:42You want change?
02:43No, no, no, I don't want to change.
02:45Okay.
02:46No, where are you going?
02:47No, I don't want this.
02:49You say you don't want change?
02:51I want the salad.
02:55Go on.
02:56Oh, excuse me.
02:57Yes?
02:58Look, we've been waiting here for about half an hour now.
03:00I mean, I gave the waiter our order.
03:02Oh, him, he's hopeless, isn't he?
03:03Yeah, well, I don't wish to complain, but when he does bring something, he's got it wrong.
03:07Well, you think I don't know?
03:09I mean, you only have to eat here.
03:10We have to live with it.
03:11I had to pay his fare all the way from Barcelona, but you can't get the staff, you see.
03:15It's a nightmare.
03:17You were supposed to be complaining to him.
03:20You're so hard.
03:23Oh, that's nice.
03:26Mmm.
03:32You're so hard.
03:34Sorry about that.
03:36Thanks, George.
03:37Oh, no, sure.
03:38Thank you so much.
03:57Enjoy your meal.
04:01You haven't forgotten your arms, have you?
04:03They're coming, they're coming.
04:04Oh, excuse me.
04:10There's sugar in the salt cellar.
04:13Anything else?
04:16I've put it all over the place.
04:17All over the place?
04:18What were you doing with it?
04:21All over the place?
04:23Polly, would you ask Terry not to finish it?
04:25We need another one of these.
04:26There is sugar on it.
04:27What a sweet place.
04:29What?
04:29I'll have it replaced.
04:30Well, why is there sugar in this salt cellar?
04:32What do you think we'd pay you for?
04:33My staying power?
04:35For love.
04:36Yes, yes, I'm getting them, I'm getting them.
04:40Excuse me.
04:41Yes?
04:42I'm sorry, but do you think we could cancel our food salads?
04:46Well, it's a little tricky.
04:47Chef's just opened the tin.
04:49Oh.
04:50I'm sure it'll be very nice.
04:53There we are.
04:54Oh, thank you.
04:55Oh, yes, I do like really beautiful places.
05:00Busy this evening, isn't it?
05:01I tell you one of my favourites.
05:03I said it's busy this evening.
05:05I'm talking to Mr Libs and Basil.
05:06Good.
05:07Well, that's a help.
05:08I'm sure you can cope.
05:09Oh, yes, I can cope, dear.
05:10Coping's easier.
05:11Not pureeing your loved ones.
05:13That's the difficult part.
05:13Did you know Biddeford Bridge has all different sides of it?
05:17Yes, there's somewhat of reception, dear.
05:18Should I get it?
05:19Yes.
05:19It's my turn, is it?
05:20Fine.
05:21Yes.
05:21Oh, yes, so it is.
05:22Yes, funny, it's been my turn for 15 years.
05:25Still, when I'm dead, it'll be your turn, dear.
05:27You'll be it.
05:29Excuse me.
05:30There are two lambs here.
05:32I'll have them removed if they're bothering you.
05:35Yes.
05:36Good evening.
05:38Are those ours?
05:40Not yet.
05:42Good evening.
05:43I reserved a room by telephone this morning.
05:45Mr and Mrs Hamilton.
05:46Indeed, yes, I remember it well.
05:49Ah, excellent.
05:50Hamilton, yes.
05:51That's right.
05:52Well, may I welcome you to Fawlty Towers?
05:54I trust your stay will be an enjoyable and a gracious one.
05:57Could we have those now?
05:59Oh, by all means.
06:01Finish with them, have you?
06:02Absolutely.
06:04Bon appétit.
06:05I recommend the self-service here.
06:11It's excellent.
06:11We all thank you.
06:12What?
06:13Your lambs will be getting cold, Mr Johnston.
06:15Colder?
06:16If you'd like them warmed up.
06:18Forget it.
06:19You could get your wife to sit on them.
06:24I'm so sorry for the rubbish we get in here.
06:26Now, if you'd be so very kind as to fill that form out,
06:29Mr and Mrs Hamilton.
06:31Ah, yes.
06:32Now, we put you in room 12,
06:33which has a charming panoramic view overlooking the lawn.
06:37What a driver.
06:41Everything on the wrong side of the road, the weather.
06:44What do you get for living in a climate like this?
06:46Green Samps is terrible.
06:49Sorry about this.
06:50Took five hours from London.
06:52Couldn't find the freeway.
06:53Had to take a little backstreet called the M5.
06:56Oh, I'm sorry if it wasn't wide enough for you.
06:58A lot of the English cars have steering wheels.
06:59They do, do they?
07:03You wouldn't think there was room for them inside.
07:06See what I mean?
07:08What?
07:09A rubbish.
07:11May I introduce my husband?
07:17All the rubbish we get in here.
07:19Look at that.
07:20Basil?
07:21More rubbish, dear.
07:22What?
07:23More of that bloody rubbish.
07:25Harley and Manuel are going, Basil.
07:27Yes, just eating with Mr. and Mrs. Hamilton, dear.
07:29Good evening.
07:29Good evening.
07:30Manuel!
07:31Manuel will bring your bags to your rooms.
07:33I hope you enjoy your stay and...
07:35Do we need to reserve a table for dinner?
07:38Dinner?
07:38Yes.
07:39Problem?
07:41Well, it is after nine.
07:42So?
07:42Well, we do actually stop serving at nine.
07:44Nine.
07:45Well, look, if you could go straight in.
07:47Just give it five hours to get here.
07:48We like to freshen up, maybe have a drink first, you know.
07:51Yes.
07:51You couldn't do that afterwards?
07:53Do what?
07:54Well, uh...
07:54You mean have our drink before dinner, after dinner,
07:56freshen up and go to bed?
07:57Well, if you could, it would make things easier for us.
07:59Shall we go to bed now?
08:00Would that make it easier for you?
08:02We're a little tired fellow.
08:03We want to sit up and relax.
08:05We'll be down in a few minutes.
08:05Yes, but the shift does actually stop at nine.
08:08Nine.
08:09Nine.
08:10Hmm.
08:12So why does your shift stop at nine, huh?
08:15You got something terminal?
08:17No, no.
08:17But that's when he, in fact, stops.
08:19Ah.
08:21Now, look.
08:22We drove from London to stay here, right?
08:23Are you telling me that you can't stay open a few minutes longer
08:26so that we can eat properly?
08:28What, we can do with sandwiches?
08:29Ham?
08:30Cheese?
08:30We want something hot.
08:31Toasty sandwiches?
08:32It's your friend.
08:33Not really.
08:34Can you believe this?
08:35What the hell's wrong with this country?
08:37You can't get a drink after three,
08:38you can't eat after nine.
08:39Is the war still on?
08:40No, no, no.
08:41But it's the staff, you see.
08:41Oh, the staff.
08:42We have to get the staff.
08:43How much?
08:44What?
08:44How much of this Mickey Mouse money do you want
08:46to keep the chef on for half an hour?
08:48One, two, three.
08:49Twenty pounds, huh?
08:50Is that enough?
08:51I'll see what I can do.
08:55Bang.
08:57Excuse me.
08:58Pardon.
08:59Pardon.
08:59Excuse me, please.
09:00Please.
09:01This way.
09:01This way.
09:02Por aquí.
09:02This way, please.
09:10Gosh, that does look absolutely marvelous.
09:15Oh, um, Terry, I almost forgot.
09:18Some guests have just arrived right at the last moment,
09:20as usual.
09:21Typical.
09:21I'm sorry, but this puts us out just as much as it puts you out.
09:24Don't put me out, Mr. Fawlty.
09:25Uh, no, but they want some dinner, you see,
09:27and they insist first on scraping off some of the filth
09:29that somehow got Kate to them, cruising down the M5.
09:31Well, I've got my class tonight, Mr. Fawlty.
09:33But Terry, just...
09:33Ready, Terry?
09:34Right, O'Pol?
09:34No, no, wait, wait, I mean, uh, you know what I say?
09:37I mean, I will make it up to you, you know, out of my own pocket.
09:39It's not the money, Mr. Fawlty.
09:41My karate means a lot to me.
09:42Well, half an hour's overtime and a taxi.
09:45Mr. Fawlty, if I miss a week,
09:46next week, I don't get out in one piece.
09:48An hour's over.
09:49Sorry, Mr. Fawlty.
09:50What, what, what, what am I going to say to you all?
09:53Two hours.
09:54What?
09:55Two hours overtime.
09:57I thought you said it wasn't the money.
09:58It ain't, but I can't think what you're going to say to your guests.
10:01Look, Terry, I'd pay you two hours overtime
10:02if I could afford it.
10:04Sorry, Mr. Fawlty.
10:05Um, an hour and a half.
10:09Cash?
10:09Cash.
10:10All right, hour and a half,
10:11but I go at half past nine,
10:12then I still get some of me class, right?
10:13What, and I do the washing up?
10:14Well, you know how it is, Mr. Fawlty.
10:16Yes, I know how it is.
10:16I pay you for an hour and a half.
10:17You clear off after half an hour.
10:19That's how it is.
10:20That's socialism.
10:21Oh, no.
10:22That's the free market.
10:23Come on, Terry.
10:24Mustn't keep the lady waiting.
10:26The lady?
10:26She's from Finland, Mr. Fawlty,
10:28and very pretty.
10:29Tall, blot...
10:30This Finnish floozy's your karate teacher, is she?
10:37Well, it's the sort of karate, isn't it?
10:40Right, give me that.
10:41What?
10:41I pay you overtime to miss a class,
10:43not to keep some bit of crumpet hanging around.
10:44Yeah, but she's...
10:45No, it's all right.
10:45I'm doing the washing up.
10:46I'm doing the cooking, too.
10:47You go off and enjoy yourself.
10:48Don't you worry about me.
10:49You go and have a good time.
10:50I'll be all right.
10:51Go and have a bit of fun with a fin.
10:54Come on, then, well.
10:59Where are you?
11:00Holly, where are...
11:01Eh, wait for me.
11:02Wait for me.
11:03Espelle.
11:04Espelle.
11:05Eh.
11:07Thank you, if you'd care to sit over there.
11:16Good evening.
11:18Good evening.
11:19Is your room to your liking?
11:21Yes, it's very nice.
11:22Very nice, thank you.
11:24Oh, good.
11:24I'll just get you tonight's menu.
11:27Oh, um, would you care for a drink before your meal?
11:29It's Captain Watt and a screwdriver, please.
11:31Um, and for you, madam?
11:37The screwdriver's for me.
11:39I see.
11:40Um, would you like it now or after a meal?
11:43For now, please.
11:44There's nothing I can put right?
11:46What?
11:46Absolutely.
11:47So, it's one scotch and a screwdriver.
11:49I think I'll join you.
11:49Make that two screwdrivers, would you?
11:51You'd like a screwdriver as well?
11:54All right.
11:56Fine.
11:56So, it's one scotch and you each need a screwdriver.
11:58No, no, no, no.
11:59Forget the scotch, two screwdrivers.
12:02I understand.
12:02And you'll leave the drinks.
12:04What?
12:04Nothing to drink.
12:05What do you mean, nothing to drink?
12:07Well, you can't drink your screwdrivers, can you?
12:09What else would you suggest that we do with them?
12:11Vodka and orange juice.
12:13Ah, certainly, madam.
12:14Make that two and forget about the screwdrivers.
12:17You sure?
12:17You can manage without them.
12:18As you wish.
12:21Relax in the carefree atmosphere of old English charm when you are there.
12:28I hope we're not intruding on your dinner hour.
12:31Oh, not at all, no.
12:34You're American.
12:36That's right.
12:37Where are you from?
12:38California.
12:39How lovely.
12:41You're English, though.
12:42Yes, but I've been over there ten years now.
12:44Ten years.
12:45Do you ever get home sick?
12:47Oh, yes, but I love it there.
12:49The climate's so wonderful.
12:51You can swim and sunbathe and then after lunch drive up into the mountains and ski.
12:55How wonderful.
12:57I like England and the English people, but I sure couldn't take this climate.
13:01Harry finds it too gloomy.
13:03Oh, I don't find it too gloomy, the usable.
13:05Yes, I do, Basil.
13:06Oh, yes, my wife finds it too gloomy.
13:08I find it rather bracing.
13:09What do you find bracing, Basil?
13:10The damp, the drizzle, the fog.
13:12Well, it's not always like this, dear.
13:13It changes.
13:14My husband's like the climate.
13:15He changes.
13:16This morning he went on for two hours about the bloody weather.
13:20It has been unusually damp this week, in fact, but normally we're rather spoiled down here on the English Riviera.
13:26Mr. and Mrs. Hamilton were telling me about California.
13:29You can swim in the morning and then in the afternoon you can drive up into the mountains and ski.
13:33Must be rather tiring.
13:36Well, one has a choice.
13:38Yes, well, I don't think it would suit me.
13:39I'd rather like it down here.
13:40It's very mild all the year round.
13:41We have palm trees here in Torquay, you know.
13:43Do you have palm trees in California?
13:45Burt Lancaster had one, they say, but I don't believe them.
13:48What the hell is that?
13:54Vodka and orange juice.
13:55Orange juice.
13:56I'm afraid it's not fresh.
13:58Isn't it?
13:59No.
13:59We've just opened the bottle.
14:01Look, fresh means it comes out of an orange, not out of a bottle.
14:03Ah, you'd like freshly squeezed orange juice.
14:05As opposed to freshly unstrud orange juice, yes.
14:07Leave it to me.
14:08I mean, I'll get chef onto it straight away.
14:11Sorry about that.
14:12A lot of English people are used to the flavour of the bottles.
14:14Oh, it's all right.
14:15It's just that back home, fresh orange juice comes like running water.
14:18Does it really?
14:20Of course, it's so good for your skin, isn't it?
14:23I'd love to go to California someday.
14:25Looks so exciting.
14:27Oh, never love a stranger.
14:29Do you like it?
14:30Oh, I love all Harold Robbins.
14:31I've read this one three times.
14:33The Pirates is his best, I think.
14:35I read them when Harry's away.
14:36I just don't seem to have the time when he's home.
14:38Who needs Harold Robbins when you've got the real thing?
14:41How long have you been married, Mrs. Fawlty?
14:46Oh, since 1485.
14:48There we are.
14:49Fresh orange juice.
14:52But seriously, though, his men are all so interesting.
14:55Ruthless and sexy and powerful.
14:58Who's this, then, dear?
14:59Proust E.M. Forster?
15:00Harold Robbins.
15:01Oh, yes, of course, yes.
15:03My wife likes Harold Robbins.
15:05After a hard day slaving under the hairdryer,
15:07she needs one wine with a few aimless thrills.
15:09Have you ever read any?
15:13Oh, it really is the most awful American,
15:16well, not American,
15:17transatlantic tripe,
15:19sort of pornographic musac.
15:21Still keeps my wife off the streets.
15:23We both like them.
15:28Oh, Robbins.
15:29What?
15:30Harold Robbins.
15:31Well, I thought you meant that awful man.
15:33What's his name?
15:34Harold Robinson.
15:35Have you read any Harold Robinson?
15:37Oh, painful.
15:38How about Waldorf salad?
15:40Was that one?
15:41Yes, absolutely right.
15:42Oh, that was a shock, wasn't it?
15:44Could you make me a Waldorf salad?
15:48Oh, a Waldorf salad.
15:51Well, I think we're just out of Waldorf.
15:56I don't believe this.
15:58It's not very well known here, Harry.
15:59Yes, may I recommend tonight...
16:01Now, look, I'm sure your chef knows how to fix me a Waldorf salad, huh?
16:05Well, I wouldn't be too sure.
16:06Well, he's a chef, isn't he?
16:07Yes, yes, you wouldn't prefer...
16:08Well, find out, will you?
16:09Just go out there and see if he knows how to fix me a Waldorf salad.
16:11Of course, yes.
16:12He's not absolutely positive.
16:18He's almost got it.
16:19It's lettuce and tomato, walnuts...
16:21No, no, no.
16:21It's celery, apples, walnuts, grapes.
16:23In a mayonnaise sauce.
16:25Right.
16:25Incidentally, he did ask me to say that he does especially recommend the patty tonight.
16:30I don't want patty.
16:31Or the grapefruit?
16:32Grapefruit.
16:32The grapefruit.
16:33How's it done?
16:34Well, it's halved with a cherry in the centre.
16:38Look, I haven't paid you 20 pounds to have some guy cut a grapefruit and half a stick a cherry in the centre.
16:43Exactly.
16:44I want a Waldorf salad.
16:45Absolutely, one Waldorf salad.
16:46And a green salad for me.
16:48And one green salad, yes.
16:49And if we can't manage the Waldorf salad...
16:51I want a Waldorf salad and to follow a couple of filet mignons.
16:55Steaks.
16:55Steaks.
16:56Steaks.
16:56Not rare.
16:57Not out of a bottle.
16:58Not out of a bottle, right.
16:59Would you care to see the wine list?
17:03May I ask, did you say you paid 20 pounds?
17:07Yes, but it's not the money.
17:09My wife and I, we wanted dinner and...
17:11This can't be right.
17:12There's no reason Chef couldn't stay.
17:14I'm awfully sorry.
17:15He's forgotten already.
17:16Walnuts?
17:17Cheese?
17:17No!
17:18No cheese.
17:20It's celery.
17:20Apples, walnuts, grapes.
17:22Right.
17:23In mayonnaise.
17:23Right.
17:24Now, come on.
17:30Would you excuse me one moment?
17:32Uh, uh, excuse me, a bottle of Volnay, please.
17:35Of course.
17:40What's this about 20 pounds, Babel?
17:41There's no celery.
17:42Would you believe it?
17:43I'll find the celery.
17:44What about this 20 pounds?
17:45He gave me 20 pounds to keep the kitchens open and Chef wouldn't say.
17:47I mean, where does he put things?
17:48If you'd just look.
17:50I have looked.
17:50There's no celery.
17:51There's no grapes.
17:52Walnuts?
17:53That's a laugh.
17:54He's here to find a packet of sliced hippopotamus and suitcase sauce.
17:56And a walnut in this bloody kitchen.
17:58Now, we've got apples.
17:59Oh, terrific.
18:00We'll celebrate.
18:01We'll have an apple party.
18:02Everybody brings his own apple and stuffs it down somebody's throat.
18:05That's it.
18:05I will find everything.
18:08Just go and get a bottle of Volnay.
18:09What is a Waldoff, anyway?
18:10A walnut that's gone off?
18:12It's the hotel, Basil.
18:14The Waldorf Hotel in New York.
18:16Wait.
18:19Basil.
18:22Everything all right?
18:23Yes, thank you.
18:25Never been better.
18:25Oh, good.
18:26Um, by the way, I wonder, have you by any chance ever tried a Ritz salad?
18:31Ritz salad?
18:32Yes, it's a traditional old English thing.
18:34It's apples, grapefruit and potatoes in a mayonnaise sauce.
18:38No, I don't think I ever tried that.
18:39Ah.
18:39Don't think I ever will either.
18:41Yeah, well, that's probably pretty sound.
18:43Well, look, um, about this Waldoff salad of yours.
18:46Yes.
18:46Um, you're having a bit of a tater-tater with Chef,
18:48and the point is, we're all right on the apples.
18:51Absolutely no problem with them at all.
18:53Now, on the celery front, well, um, perhaps I should explain.
18:56We normally get our celery delivered on a Wednesday,
18:58along with our cabbages, onions, walnuts, grapes, that sort of thing.
19:02But this week, um, the driver...
19:04Mr. Fawlty...
19:04Yes, he was putting the crate into the van...
19:06I'm not interested.
19:06...and he sort of slipped forward,
19:07and the van door caught his arm like that,
19:09and he may have fractured it.
19:10You don't have it.
19:10They did the, uh, x-rays,
19:12and we'll know tomorrow whether they're going to have to operate,
19:14and to cut a long story short, we don't have any.
19:16No, but, um...
19:18So, makes you think how lucky you are, doesn't it?
19:22I mean, here we all are, with all our limbs functioning,
19:24and quite frankly, if you've got your health, what else, Matt?
19:28What a bunch of crap.
19:31Oh, do you think so?
19:32I always feel like...
19:33What the hell's going on here?
19:34It says hotel outside.
19:35Now, is this a hotel or isn't it?
19:37Well, within reason.
19:38You know something, fella?
19:40If this was back in the States,
19:41I wouldn't board my dog here.
19:43Fussy, is he?
19:43Poodle?
19:45Poodle.
19:47I'm not getting through to you, am I?
19:51You know, I stay in hotels all over the world,
19:54and this is the first time I've had to bribe a chef
19:55to cook me a meal,
19:56and then find out he doesn't even have
19:58the basic goddamn ingredients.
19:59Holy cow, can't you see what a crummy dump this is?
20:03You listen to this, are you, Terry?
20:04I'm talking to you.
20:05It's all right, Terry.
20:06Shut up, will you?
20:07Listen to me.
20:08Can't you see this ain't good enough?
20:09Yes, I see what you mean.
20:10And then you give me some half-ass story
20:11about some delivery guy busting his arm.
20:13Now, look, Fawlty,
20:14if your chef couldn't find the ingredients from that guy,
20:16why didn't he get them from somebody else, huh?
20:19Exactly.
20:19Yeah, it's hopeless.
20:20What?
20:21It's hopeless.
20:21Completely hopeless.
20:22Right.
20:23You're the manager, aren't you?
20:24You're responsible.
20:25So what do you got to do about it, huh?
20:28Well, I'll live with half a word.
20:30Man, you've got to tell him,
20:31lay it on the line.
20:32Lay it on the line?
20:34Tell him if he doesn't get on the ball,
20:35you're going to bust his ass.
20:37Bust his?
20:38No, no, no, no.
20:38I'll tell him, tell him, leave it to me.
20:40I've got it, tell him, I've got it.
20:41I've got it, I've got it, I've got it.
20:44Bust his ass.
20:46All that.
20:49And two green salads.
20:56Here we are.
20:58One green salad and one Mordor salad.
21:01I thought that...
21:03Oh, would you excuse me one moment?
21:07No, it's not good enough.
21:09You hear me?
21:09It's not good enough.
21:10Here we go.
21:11Here we go.
21:12That's a bunch of ass.
21:14That's what that is.
21:15It's fine.
21:15Why don't you make a Waldorf salad?
21:17One more salad.
21:18No.
21:19First thing tomorrow,
21:20you get the ingredients for a Waldorf salad,
21:22or I'm going to break your butter.
21:25Oh, no, you know me that.
21:26No, I mean it.
21:27I mean it.
21:28Everything all right?
21:29Yes, thank you.
21:30You're sure there's nothing...
21:32All right.
21:33No, it's very good.
21:33Oh, good.
21:35Oh, um...
21:37You're a chef.
21:38Yes?
21:38Has he been with you long?
21:40About six months.
21:41He used to work at Dorchester.
21:42At the Dorchester?
21:44No, in Dorchester,
21:45about 40 miles away.
21:47Here we are.
21:48Two green salads.
21:50Basil.
21:51Mr.
21:52Mr. Hamilton has his Waldorf salad, dear.
21:54No, dear.
21:55Chef couldn't make it.
21:56He didn't have the ingredients.
21:56I just smashed his backside about it.
22:01But there it is.
22:04What?
22:06There's the Waldorf salad.
22:07Chef found the ingredients.
22:09Why?
22:10Well, if he found the ingredients,
22:12why didn't he tell me?
22:14Somewhat, didn't it?
22:15He'd been struck dumb
22:16when somebody tore his tongue out
22:17in the last two minutes?
22:19Maybe Robertson's arm got better.
22:22I'm sorry about this.
22:23It's all right.
22:24No, it isn't.
22:25It doesn't matter.
22:26Well, it matters to me.
22:27Hot to me, I got my Waldorf salad.
22:28Yes, excuse me.
22:29For God's sake!
22:31Chef!
22:31Would you bring that back in me?
22:32I'm so sorry.
22:33I'll just get it back for you.
22:36Sorry?
22:36I'll give you sorry.
22:37Get off your knees.
22:38That's all right.
22:39That's all right.
22:39I haven't finished with Chef yet,
22:41so let me.
22:41Why didn't you tell me?
22:42Why didn't you tell me
22:43you found them,
22:43you stupid cow?
22:46Hey, Chef.
22:46Hey, Chef.
22:47No, I haven't finished.
22:48I haven't finished.
22:48You can have it in a...
22:49Ooh.
22:52Sorry about that little confusion.
22:55Chef hasn't been with us very long.
22:57We've just reorganized the kitchen.
22:59Oh, you haven't got your wine yet.
23:04Babble!
23:05Won't be a moment.
23:06Babble!
23:09Yes, yes, Mr.
23:10Mr. and Mrs. Hamilton haven't got their wine yet.
23:13Fine.
23:13Oh, fine.
23:14And Basil, has Chef put the steaks on yet?
23:17No, I'll tell you.
23:18All right.
23:21Is your husband all right?
23:23Oh, yes.
23:24He's just had rather a long day.
23:26There's just the two of you here, right?
23:27We haven't had a proper holiday for eight years.
23:30Eight years?
23:31Yes.
23:31I have to get away occasionally,
23:33just for a few hours,
23:35even if it's just down to the hairdresser
23:37or a round of golf
23:38or a bridge evening with some of the girls.
23:41Drive in the country sometimes,
23:44just on my own.
23:45Pop down to Cornwall for the day.
23:46Sometimes it's beautiful there.
23:49We'll go there, sir.
23:50Yes, you must visit Cornwall while you're here.
23:55Incidentally, I've been talking to Chef
23:56and we've sorted out what happened.
23:58Apparently, he thought that he'd already got...
24:01Yes, very nice, thank you.
24:02Got two orders for Waldorf salad, you see.
24:04And in fact, he had the ingredients,
24:06but...
24:07No, that's...
24:07Until he made one,
24:08he didn't realize that he didn't have enough
24:10for the second one.
24:11Look, don't let it bother you.
24:12No, anyway, this will explain everything.
24:17What's that?
24:17A letter.
24:18A letter?
24:19A letter from the Chef.
24:20It explains everything.
24:21A letter from the Chef.
24:22Yes, he wanted to apologize personally,
24:24but I didn't want him wasting your time,
24:26so I thought...
24:26Look, just forget about it, will you?
24:27I'll read it.
24:28I want my...
24:29Oh, wait a moment.
24:31Dear Mr. and Mrs. Hamilton,
24:32I hope you are well.
24:33This is just a brief note
24:34to say that I take full responsibility
24:36for the dreadful mess-ups tonight.
24:38If I'd only listened to Mr. Fawlty,
24:40none of this fiasco would have occurred.
24:42Oh, ha.
24:43I'd just like to tell you
24:44that such a cock-up
24:45has never occurred in my career before
24:47and that now everything has been sorted out,
24:49I'll be back
24:50to my very best form.
24:51Signed to...
24:52What are you doing?
25:02What do you mean you've found it?
25:05I've had just about enough of this.
25:06Mr. Hamilton, may I introduce Terry Hugh...
25:18Where did he go?
25:36Where's he gone?
25:37Did you see him?
25:38Maybe he went to get something to eat.
25:42Come on, honey.
25:43What is it, Harry?
25:43Well, even.
25:44Oh, what's happened?
25:45I'll tell you later.
25:45Is your steak ready
25:49in a moment, Mrs. Hamilton?
25:50He must have heard you coming,
25:52you know, and panicked
25:52and run out into the yard.
25:54You know, after all the problems,
25:56we've...
25:58How big a butterball do you take me for?
26:06But...
26:07Do you think I don't know
26:08what's been going on out there?
26:09Oh, bit of a debacle, I'm afraid.
26:10I'm talking about you taking 20 pounds off me
26:12to keep the chef on,
26:13letting him go,
26:14cooking the meal yourself,
26:15and then pretending he's still out there.
26:17Oh, that?
26:18Yes, that.
26:18And I'd be interested to know
26:19what you've got to say about it.
26:21Good evening.
26:21I asked you a question.
26:22Yes, well, I'm sorry that, uh,
26:24that your meal has not been
26:24fully satisfactory this evening.
26:26Ha!
26:27Well, I'm suggesting you
26:28that this place is the
26:29the crummiest, shoddiest,
26:31worst-run hotel
26:32in the whole of Western Europe.
26:34No!
26:35No, I won't have that.
26:39There's a place at Eastbourne.
26:40Ha!
26:41Ha!
26:41Ha!
26:41Ha!
26:42Ha!
26:42Ha!
26:42Ha!
26:42Ha!
26:43Ha!
26:43Ha!
26:43And that you are
26:44the British Tourist Board's answer
26:45to Donald Duck.
26:46Now, look, I-I know things
26:48have gone wrong this evening,
26:49but you must remember
26:50that we have had
26:50thousands of satisfied...
26:52All right!
26:53Let's ask them, eh?
26:54What?
26:54Let's ask them!
26:56Are you all satisfied?
26:58You!
26:58Are you satisfied?
26:59Major, are you satisfied?
27:00I mean, you've been here
27:01seven years.
27:01Are you satisfied?
27:02Oh, I love it.
27:03Maybe.
27:03Are you satisfied?
27:04Oh, yes.
27:04Thank you, Mr. Forty.
27:06Yes.
27:06And thank you for asking.
27:07Not at all.
27:08Mr. Arrow, are you satisfied?
27:09Oh, well, yes.
27:10Mrs. Gerd, you?
27:11Oh, very nice, sir, yes.
27:12You see?
27:13Satisfied customers.
27:14Of course, if this little hotel
27:15is not to your taste,
27:16then you're free to say so.
27:17That is your privilege.
27:18And I shall, of course,
27:19refund your money.
27:20I know how important
27:20it is to you Americans.
27:22But you must remember
27:23that here in Britain
27:24there are things
27:25that we value more.
27:26Things that perhaps
27:27in America
27:27you've rather forgotten about.
27:28But which to we British
27:30are far, far more important
27:32I'm not satisfied.
27:33Then maybe...
27:33But...
27:34What?
27:35I'm not satisfied.
27:36No, we're not satisfied.
27:38Well, people like you
27:39never are, are you?
27:40What?
27:42There's nothing I can do
27:43with a piece of pear like you
27:44short of putting straw in the rooms.
27:45I think you're the rudest man
27:47I've ever met.
27:47I haven't started yet.
27:49You're not going to.
27:51You're going to stand here
27:52nice and quiet
27:53while these people say
27:54whether or not they're satisfied
27:55and you move off that spot,
27:56and I'm going to
27:57flush your ass.
28:01Everything's bottomed, isn't it?
28:02Yes, sir.
28:02I think this is probably
28:04the worst hotel
28:05we've ever stayed in.
28:06Yes, it is.
28:06The service here
28:07is an absolute disgrace.
28:08I agree.
28:09You do?
28:10Yes.
28:10Do you know
28:11that we had to wait
28:11nearly half an hour
28:12for our main course
28:13and when it arrived
28:14it was wrong?
28:15Well, I complained.
28:16He completely fobbed me off
28:17with some rubbish.
28:18My prawns were off
28:19and when I told him
28:20there was an argument.
28:21And her beak
28:22was awfully poor.
28:23And I asked you
28:24to fix my radiator
28:25three times
28:26and nothing's been done.
28:27satisfied customers,
28:29huh?
28:30Ha, ha, ha, ha.
28:31Hot dog.
28:39This is typical.
28:42Absolutely typical.
28:48The kind of
28:50arse
28:51I had to put up
28:54with from you people.
28:55You punts in here
28:56expecting to be
28:57hand-weighted on,
28:58hand-in-foot
28:59while I'm trying
29:00to run a hotel here.
29:01Have you any idea
29:03of how much there is to do?
29:04Do you ever think of that?
29:05Of course not.
29:06You're too busy
29:07sticking your noses
29:08into every corner
29:09poking about
29:10for things to complain about,
29:11aren't you?
29:12Well, let me tell you something.
29:14This is exactly
29:16how Nazi Germany started.
29:18I lay out
29:19with nothing better to do
29:21than to cause trouble.
29:23Well, I've had 15 years
29:24of pandering
29:25to the likes of you
29:26and I've had enough.
29:28I've had it.
29:28Come on,
29:29pack your bags
29:30and get out.
29:31They're packed.
29:32Order 10 taxis,
29:33will you?
29:33I'll pay for them.
29:34Come on, come on.
29:35What?
29:35Out, everybody out.
29:37Come on upstairs,
29:38pack your bags.
29:39Adios, out.
29:40But the training.
29:41Well, you should have
29:42thought of that before,
29:43shouldn't you?
29:43Too late now.
29:44Come on out.
29:45Rouse, rouse, rouse.
29:49What are you doing?
29:50Well, let me explain,
29:51my little workhorse.
29:53Um, the guests and I
29:54have been having
29:55a bit of an old chinwag
29:56and the upshot of it all
29:57is they're off.
29:59Off?
30:00Well, let me put it this way, dear.
30:01Either they go
30:02or I go.
30:03Right, right,
30:05come on back, everybody.
30:06My wife's had a better idea.
30:07Come on back.
30:08I'm going instead.
30:09Well, goodbye, dear.
30:09It's been an interesting
30:1015 years,
30:11but all good things
30:12must come to an end.
30:13I hope you enjoy
30:14your new work here,
30:15helping to run a hotel.
30:16Goodbye, major.
30:17Goodbye, ladies.
30:18Give my regards
30:18to Polly and Manuel.
30:19Bye, dear.
30:20You've forgotten
30:21your keys, Basil.
30:22So I have, dear, yes.
30:23Oh, and goodbye
30:23to the rest of you.
30:24I hope you enjoy
30:25your stay here.
30:26Don't forget any complaints.
30:27Don't hesitate
30:27to tell my wife.
30:28Any hour of the day
30:29or night
30:30just shout,
30:31Bye.
30:31Bye.
30:51Ten minutes.
30:52That'll be fine.
30:53All right, here.
30:55Hello, dear.
30:59I'm back.
31:01What do you want, Basil?
31:04A room, please.
31:05Um, number 12 is for you,
31:06I think.
31:06Now, I'd like breakfast
31:07in bed at half past
31:0810 in the morning, please.
31:09That's eggs, bacon,
31:10sausage and tomato
31:11with a Waldorf salad.
31:12I'll wash down
31:13with lashings
31:14of hot screwdriver.
31:15I'd like it.
31:25the
31:44because
31:46you
31:49and
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